1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:25,760 Hey, everybody. 2 00:00:25,760 --> 00:00:29,040 Welcome back to another episode of Cryptic Cocktail Party, a show where we have a few 3 00:00:29,040 --> 00:00:30,040 things to share. 4 00:00:30,040 --> 00:00:31,480 If you laugh, take a dive into the unknown. 5 00:00:31,480 --> 00:00:34,640 I'm your host, Dave, and joined as always by the wonderfully. 6 00:00:34,640 --> 00:00:35,640 The Sarge. 7 00:00:35,640 --> 00:00:39,200 How's it going, bud? 8 00:00:39,200 --> 00:00:45,120 The wonderfully apparel Sarge and my Mothman, my Mothman tag top. 9 00:00:45,120 --> 00:00:50,640 I told you I went to brunch this morning and then my words aren't coming out of my face 10 00:00:50,640 --> 00:00:51,640 correctly. 11 00:00:51,640 --> 00:00:53,960 Yeah, isn't word and it's fine. 12 00:00:53,960 --> 00:00:58,960 It's whatever you it's I mean, I kind of need it to do the show, but it will. 13 00:00:58,960 --> 00:00:59,960 Cross that bridge and get there. 14 00:00:59,960 --> 00:01:00,960 How you doing, bud? 15 00:01:00,960 --> 00:01:01,960 You looking good. 16 00:01:01,960 --> 00:01:02,960 Love the shirt. 17 00:01:02,960 --> 00:01:03,960 Love the hat. 18 00:01:03,960 --> 00:01:04,960 Thank you. 19 00:01:04,960 --> 00:01:05,960 Thank you. 20 00:01:05,960 --> 00:01:06,960 My dog decided to join me for this episode. 21 00:01:06,960 --> 00:01:09,800 Oh, she's just going to periodically lick me to get attention. 22 00:01:09,800 --> 00:01:10,800 Oh, excuse me. 23 00:01:10,800 --> 00:01:11,800 Yes, ma'am. 24 00:01:11,800 --> 00:01:12,800 Thank you. 25 00:01:12,800 --> 00:01:17,160 She's if I'm not paying enough attention, she puts her paw on me like, hello. 26 00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:18,160 Oh, my. 27 00:01:18,160 --> 00:01:19,160 Stupid. 28 00:01:19,160 --> 00:01:20,160 My dog does the same exact thing. 29 00:01:20,160 --> 00:01:23,320 If you stop petting it, it just fucking buries its face into your hand until you give it 30 00:01:23,320 --> 00:01:24,320 pets again. 31 00:01:24,320 --> 00:01:25,320 Oh, yeah. 32 00:01:25,320 --> 00:01:26,320 Yeah. 33 00:01:26,320 --> 00:01:27,880 She's a she's a needy girl. 34 00:01:27,880 --> 00:01:29,560 Yeah, what's what's new? 35 00:01:29,560 --> 00:01:30,560 What's going on? 36 00:01:30,560 --> 00:01:31,560 How's life? 37 00:01:31,560 --> 00:01:32,560 Life's good. 38 00:01:32,560 --> 00:01:40,000 I'm busy, you know, busy with with managing children and my job. 39 00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:41,000 Yeah. 40 00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:47,800 And also, you know, writing scripts for Citizens Guide, which I forgot I hate doing. 41 00:01:47,800 --> 00:01:48,800 I hate writing scripts. 42 00:01:48,800 --> 00:01:49,800 I'm going to do it. 43 00:01:49,800 --> 00:01:52,040 I love writing scripts, but I also hate it. 44 00:01:52,040 --> 00:01:58,200 The problem is, like, I gather as much information as possible. 45 00:01:58,200 --> 00:02:05,720 And then when I look at it all, I'm like, oh, I have so many directions to head. 46 00:02:05,720 --> 00:02:06,720 Yeah. 47 00:02:06,720 --> 00:02:10,880 And I always like grab a giant topic and I'm like, oh, yeah, I can easily handle this. 48 00:02:10,880 --> 00:02:16,040 And then I get in the weeds and I just start searching for stuff. 49 00:02:16,040 --> 00:02:20,920 And it eventually just gets to a point where I'm like, OK, I need to cut out 90 percent 50 00:02:20,920 --> 00:02:21,920 of this. 51 00:02:21,920 --> 00:02:22,920 I got to niche it down. 52 00:02:22,920 --> 00:02:23,920 Niche it down. 53 00:02:23,920 --> 00:02:24,920 Yeah. 54 00:02:24,920 --> 00:02:25,920 Yeah, that's exactly it. 55 00:02:25,920 --> 00:02:26,920 That's exactly it. 56 00:02:26,920 --> 00:02:31,640 But I see I run into that same problem because I thought when I started this series on Mel's 57 00:02:31,640 --> 00:02:33,840 Hole, that would be a one and done. 58 00:02:33,840 --> 00:02:37,480 I thought like, you know, we're just going to fucking tell this. 59 00:02:37,480 --> 00:02:41,520 And then it was now we're on what episode three, the final chapter of Mel's Hole. 60 00:02:41,520 --> 00:02:44,560 And even then I had to leave a bunch of shit out. 61 00:02:44,560 --> 00:02:46,040 Nothing like super serious. 62 00:02:46,040 --> 00:02:48,840 But I understand where you're coming from when you try to dive into it. 63 00:02:48,840 --> 00:02:50,640 I don't think you realize. 64 00:02:50,640 --> 00:02:54,480 Yeah, I just don't think you realized how deep Mel's Hole is. 65 00:02:54,480 --> 00:02:58,280 All right. 66 00:02:58,280 --> 00:03:00,400 So do you remember where we last left off with Mel's Hole? 67 00:03:00,400 --> 00:03:02,760 Yeah, I remember there was another hole. 68 00:03:02,760 --> 00:03:03,760 Yeah. 69 00:03:03,760 --> 00:03:09,080 So last we left off, Mel had just lost pretty much everything, his land, his money, his 70 00:03:09,080 --> 00:03:10,080 back teeth. 71 00:03:10,080 --> 00:03:15,960 And all of this was a result of making a deal with the government to lease his property 72 00:03:15,960 --> 00:03:16,960 to them. 73 00:03:16,960 --> 00:03:21,000 And then in return, he had to sign an NDA and was told to leave the country and never 74 00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:22,000 return. 75 00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:25,160 He moved to Australia for a couple of years, but decided fuck it. 76 00:03:25,160 --> 00:03:28,840 I want to go home, which resulted in all of the above happening. 77 00:03:28,840 --> 00:03:33,560 He then went on Coast to Coast AM again after three years of radio silence. 78 00:03:33,560 --> 00:03:38,120 And while on that broadcast, he told Art Bell and the audience about the existence of a 79 00:03:38,120 --> 00:03:42,920 second bottomless pit that a Native American tribe in Nevada had asked him to come investigate. 80 00:03:42,920 --> 00:03:43,920 So that's where we were. 81 00:03:43,920 --> 00:03:44,920 That's where we left off. 82 00:03:44,920 --> 00:03:46,200 Does all that sound right? 83 00:03:46,200 --> 00:03:47,200 Got it. 84 00:03:47,200 --> 00:03:48,200 Okay. 85 00:03:48,200 --> 00:03:50,120 It sounds, it sounds absolutely right. 86 00:03:50,120 --> 00:03:54,800 I forgot about the fact that it was a Native American tribe, but I do remember there being 87 00:03:54,800 --> 00:03:56,720 a new hole in Nevada. 88 00:03:56,720 --> 00:03:58,200 Yeah, there's another hole. 89 00:03:58,200 --> 00:04:00,120 I do remember that part. 90 00:04:00,120 --> 00:04:06,480 So and I remember how much joy it gave me that I was imagining a guy named Mel running 91 00:04:06,480 --> 00:04:09,920 around Las Vegas talking about the government stealing his teeth. 92 00:04:09,920 --> 00:04:11,320 He was no, that happened in San Francisco. 93 00:04:11,320 --> 00:04:12,320 Right. 94 00:04:12,320 --> 00:04:13,320 Right. 95 00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:14,320 Right. 96 00:04:14,320 --> 00:04:15,320 Sorry. 97 00:04:15,320 --> 00:04:16,320 I'm sorry. 98 00:04:16,320 --> 00:04:19,040 Because I feel like if you're going to, if you're going to be the kind of person who's 99 00:04:19,040 --> 00:04:24,200 going to talk about the government stealing your teeth, you really can only do that in 100 00:04:24,200 --> 00:04:26,640 a place that is known for psychedelic drugs. 101 00:04:26,640 --> 00:04:27,640 Yeah. 102 00:04:27,640 --> 00:04:30,560 There's, there's a few places in America where you can run around screaming about the government 103 00:04:30,560 --> 00:04:35,560 taking your teeth and people would be like, that's par for the course for where I am. 104 00:04:35,560 --> 00:04:36,560 Yeah. 105 00:04:36,560 --> 00:04:37,560 A lot of places that won't fly. 106 00:04:37,560 --> 00:04:41,080 Cambridge, Massachusetts, San Francisco, New York City. 107 00:04:41,080 --> 00:04:42,080 Yeah. 108 00:04:42,080 --> 00:04:44,720 I can't think of, oh, maybe Florida. 109 00:04:44,720 --> 00:04:47,440 Like all of Florida, no specific city in Florida. 110 00:04:47,440 --> 00:04:49,400 It's just, yeah, no, the whole state really. 111 00:04:49,400 --> 00:04:50,400 Yeah. 112 00:04:50,400 --> 00:04:51,400 No. 113 00:04:51,400 --> 00:04:55,000 So, uh, so except in Florida, you know, it's not the government, you know, it was meth. 114 00:04:55,000 --> 00:04:56,000 Exactly. 115 00:04:56,000 --> 00:04:59,560 So, yeah, so nobody, that was, that was the blue crystals you smoked. 116 00:04:59,560 --> 00:05:00,560 Yeah. 117 00:05:00,560 --> 00:05:04,640 Um, so, so even though it was a native American tribe that had invited Mel to come investigate 118 00:05:04,640 --> 00:05:10,120 this secondary hole, uh, the native Americans don't show up in the story at all. 119 00:05:10,120 --> 00:05:15,520 I don't know where, why he said it was, it actually wasn't located on an Indian reservation. 120 00:05:15,520 --> 00:05:21,000 It was actually located on public land used by the Basques, which thanks to one of my 121 00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:24,120 sources for the series, it's a, the Y files on YouTube. 122 00:05:24,120 --> 00:05:27,720 I learned that the Basques are an ethnic group that hails from a small region located in 123 00:05:27,720 --> 00:05:29,240 between Spain and France. 124 00:05:29,240 --> 00:05:30,240 Yeah. 125 00:05:30,240 --> 00:05:33,920 And in the 1800 settled in a few places in the United States, one of them being Nevada. 126 00:05:33,920 --> 00:05:35,560 Apparently they became like sheep herders. 127 00:05:35,560 --> 00:05:37,880 Like that's what they use this land in Nevada for. 128 00:05:37,880 --> 00:05:40,880 I had no idea. 129 00:05:40,880 --> 00:05:41,880 I didn't know the Basques was a thing, but I saw it. 130 00:05:41,880 --> 00:05:44,280 I'm glad they picked a desert to graze sheep. 131 00:05:44,280 --> 00:05:45,280 That's right. 132 00:05:45,280 --> 00:05:52,120 But also again, rare sand sheep, again, native Americans do not show up in the story whatsoever. 133 00:05:52,120 --> 00:06:00,200 I don't know who contacted him, but also I want to know why anyone like why they contacted 134 00:06:00,200 --> 00:06:02,240 Mel like he's an expert on holes. 135 00:06:02,240 --> 00:06:06,040 All he did was throw trash down it and then get his back teeth removed by the government. 136 00:06:06,040 --> 00:06:11,040 Like why they reached out to this man to be like, Hey, do you want to come investigate? 137 00:06:11,040 --> 00:06:12,520 Like do research in this hole? 138 00:06:12,520 --> 00:06:14,880 Like who is he to be the authority on? 139 00:06:14,880 --> 00:06:19,840 What would make me happy is if everything he threw in his hole back home just kind of 140 00:06:19,840 --> 00:06:21,480 shot up through this hole. 141 00:06:21,480 --> 00:06:24,120 Like, Hey Mel, come get your fucking shit. 142 00:06:24,120 --> 00:06:25,120 Yeah. 143 00:06:25,120 --> 00:06:27,880 The Basque people are like, well, we called you because we have some of your mail. 144 00:06:27,880 --> 00:06:28,880 Yeah. 145 00:06:28,880 --> 00:06:35,280 Apparently someone's been trying to reach you about extending your warranty. 146 00:06:35,280 --> 00:06:38,360 So when Mel, hold on, I got to, I got to silence my bird. 147 00:06:38,360 --> 00:06:42,280 She is, she is, I can see her like popping up on the screen. 148 00:06:42,280 --> 00:06:43,280 She's triggering my audio. 149 00:06:43,280 --> 00:06:45,920 I don't think anybody wants to listen to her sing. 150 00:06:45,920 --> 00:06:49,600 So when Mel arrived at the hole, he was told by the Basque that the hole had actually been 151 00:06:49,600 --> 00:06:53,380 there as long as their people had inhabited the land and that it was considered sacred 152 00:06:53,380 --> 00:06:54,380 to them. 153 00:06:54,380 --> 00:06:59,680 So about like roughly like 150, 200 years, you know, uh, so they put the hole on a pedestal 154 00:06:59,680 --> 00:07:00,680 pretty much. 155 00:07:00,680 --> 00:07:01,680 Yeah. 156 00:07:01,680 --> 00:07:06,120 So the hole was the same diameter as Mel's. 157 00:07:06,120 --> 00:07:11,560 So like nine feet, but, uh, where Mel's was, had like a stone retaining wall that went 158 00:07:11,560 --> 00:07:16,480 down 15 feet or so, the secondary hole had a metal ring around the outer edge and was 159 00:07:16,480 --> 00:07:19,760 lined with metal as far down as the eye could see. 160 00:07:19,760 --> 00:07:22,400 The metal also didn't make a sound when struck. 161 00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:25,800 There was no like, uh, reverberation or like resonance tone. 162 00:07:25,800 --> 00:07:27,280 Like say Mel dropped a tool on it. 163 00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:30,200 He said, and that like the impact was silent. 164 00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:33,880 There was nothing, not even an echo kind of like how you couldn't, there was no echo in 165 00:07:33,880 --> 00:07:34,880 Mel's hole. 166 00:07:34,880 --> 00:07:41,120 The other difference was that the pit in Nevada was radiating heat, which I mean, to me that 167 00:07:41,120 --> 00:07:46,480 doesn't sound weird at all because it is like a metal hole in the middle of Nevada. 168 00:07:46,480 --> 00:07:47,680 Like it's going to get hot. 169 00:07:47,680 --> 00:07:48,680 Yeah. 170 00:07:48,680 --> 00:07:49,680 But whatever. 171 00:07:49,680 --> 00:07:52,560 So I like that Mel just randomly dropped a tool down there. 172 00:07:52,560 --> 00:07:54,880 Like he probably has like a whole toolbox. 173 00:07:54,880 --> 00:07:57,120 He's like, nah, I'm using my dropping tools. 174 00:07:57,120 --> 00:07:59,160 Well, he did throw lifesavers. 175 00:07:59,160 --> 00:08:03,920 I mean, it tracks, but yeah, anything he can. 176 00:08:03,920 --> 00:08:07,080 So, so now that Mel is there, he's at the hole. 177 00:08:07,080 --> 00:08:09,000 It's time to do some experimenting. 178 00:08:09,000 --> 00:08:14,480 The first test performed by Mel and the Basque people was they took two buckets of ice. 179 00:08:14,480 --> 00:08:17,880 One of one was a control bucket that they left up on the surface and the other they 180 00:08:17,880 --> 00:08:22,400 tied to a thousand feet of rope and lowered it down into the hole. 181 00:08:22,400 --> 00:08:26,000 Now once the bucket of ice that they kept on the surface had to completely melted, they 182 00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:31,320 pulled the second bucket out of the pit and to no one's shock, because this is a crazy 183 00:08:31,320 --> 00:08:36,040 story, the ice in the bucket hadn't melted at all. 184 00:08:36,040 --> 00:08:37,320 But something even weirder happened. 185 00:08:37,320 --> 00:08:39,360 It wasn't cold to the touch or even wet. 186 00:08:39,360 --> 00:08:43,400 It was described as feeling like, like chunks of salt almost. 187 00:08:43,400 --> 00:08:48,840 So they, they tried to melt it over a fire and it just fucking burst into flames. 188 00:08:48,840 --> 00:08:53,440 Just the way they described it is it reminded me of, you know, when you get like a pooh 189 00:08:53,440 --> 00:08:56,880 pooh platter at a Chinese food restaurant and they have that weird gelatin in the middle 190 00:08:56,880 --> 00:08:58,560 that they set on fire. 191 00:08:58,560 --> 00:08:59,880 It reminded me of something like that. 192 00:08:59,880 --> 00:09:00,880 It's like that. 193 00:09:00,880 --> 00:09:04,640 But they said, they said that this burned for months, months at it. 194 00:09:04,640 --> 00:09:05,640 Like it just didn't go out. 195 00:09:05,640 --> 00:09:07,520 Like it was like, I don't know. 196 00:09:07,520 --> 00:09:11,200 So they did this experiment like several times. 197 00:09:11,200 --> 00:09:12,440 They were sending buckets of ice. 198 00:09:12,440 --> 00:09:13,440 They did several times. 199 00:09:13,440 --> 00:09:14,440 They were sending buckets. 200 00:09:14,440 --> 00:09:18,920 I mean, at some point they're just trying to start like a fire for dinner, you know? 201 00:09:18,920 --> 00:09:19,920 Yeah, pretty much. 202 00:09:19,920 --> 00:09:22,600 They just kept sending buckets of ice down one after another. 203 00:09:22,600 --> 00:09:26,400 Now, two thirds of the time the ice would melt normally, but the other third of the 204 00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:31,240 time it would return into the, pretty much just like what they, they pretty much discovered 205 00:09:31,240 --> 00:09:34,420 a renewable and sustainable source of energy that they didn't tell anyone about. 206 00:09:34,420 --> 00:09:36,400 So two thirds of the time it came back water. 207 00:09:36,400 --> 00:09:38,680 And two percent of the time they pulled up a dry martini. 208 00:09:38,680 --> 00:09:40,800 Dude, you don't. 209 00:09:40,800 --> 00:09:41,800 On the rocks. 210 00:09:41,800 --> 00:09:42,800 Just wait. 211 00:09:42,800 --> 00:09:48,160 So after doing this experiment and getting somewhat consistent results, one of the bravest 212 00:09:48,160 --> 00:09:53,720 and or stupidest of the Basque men was like, fuck it, I'll go into the hole. 213 00:09:53,720 --> 00:09:56,960 To this, everyone replied, absolutely fucking not. 214 00:09:56,960 --> 00:10:01,800 So they said they settled on lowering a sheep down instead. 215 00:10:01,800 --> 00:10:03,840 Not great, but better than a dude, I guess. 216 00:10:03,840 --> 00:10:05,720 Now less expensive. 217 00:10:05,720 --> 00:10:12,040 So Sarge, this story is already pretty wild, but it's at this point where shit goes off 218 00:10:12,040 --> 00:10:13,040 the rails. 219 00:10:13,040 --> 00:10:16,040 And if you don't already have your skeptics hat on, I'm going to suggest that you fucking 220 00:10:16,040 --> 00:10:17,040 strap in. 221 00:10:17,040 --> 00:10:20,680 I'm always wearing my skeptics hat because I don't know if you're prepared for what happens 222 00:10:20,680 --> 00:10:21,680 next. 223 00:10:21,680 --> 00:10:24,200 So, oh, man, now, very excited. 224 00:10:24,200 --> 00:10:28,240 If you remember back to the first episode in this series, I told you that animals do 225 00:10:28,240 --> 00:10:33,200 not fuck with bottomless pits like nature just wants nothing to do with them at all. 226 00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:37,920 And this sheep that was like chosen to be there, I guess, literal, like sacrificial lamb for 227 00:10:37,920 --> 00:10:41,420 the name of science was no different. 228 00:10:41,420 --> 00:10:45,700 So they had put the sheep in a crate and the closer it got to the hole, the more it tried 229 00:10:45,700 --> 00:10:47,500 to fight its way out of the crate. 230 00:10:47,500 --> 00:10:51,880 In the end, its escaped attempts were unsuccessful and they lowered the sheep's crate down to 231 00:10:51,880 --> 00:10:53,320 a thousand feet. 232 00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:56,960 Now once it reached that depth, the sheep just stopped moving. 233 00:10:56,960 --> 00:11:00,080 There was no nothing was wasn't trying to resist nothing. 234 00:11:00,080 --> 00:11:05,640 So they kind of just let it marinate in the hole for about like 30 minutes. 235 00:11:05,640 --> 00:11:08,760 And then once the half hour was up, they lifted it out. 236 00:11:08,760 --> 00:11:12,200 The crate was unchanged, but the sheep was dead, obviously. 237 00:11:12,200 --> 00:11:17,280 So the back, so the Basques being shepherds took the animal out of the crate to perform 238 00:11:17,280 --> 00:11:19,320 a quick autopsy on it. 239 00:11:19,320 --> 00:11:22,800 The sheep on the outside looked fine, like no signs of trauma. 240 00:11:22,800 --> 00:11:24,800 Like it wasn't like anything like that. 241 00:11:24,800 --> 00:11:26,100 And it was healthy when it went in. 242 00:11:26,100 --> 00:11:27,480 So they wanted to figure out what happened. 243 00:11:27,480 --> 00:11:31,720 Well, when they cut into the sheep, the first thing they noticed is that it seems as though 244 00:11:31,720 --> 00:11:37,040 the sheep had been cooked from the inside and taking up the cavity where all the organs 245 00:11:37,040 --> 00:11:40,000 would be was a massive tumor. 246 00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:45,460 Now this tumor quote unquote started to move. 247 00:11:45,460 --> 00:11:52,040 So they cut the tumor open and inside was what Mel described as a fetal seal with the 248 00:11:52,040 --> 00:11:59,160 eyes of a human attached to the tumor by an umbilical cord. 249 00:11:59,160 --> 00:12:03,000 They then watched as the creature crawled its way to the edge of the table as if it 250 00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:05,840 was trying to make its way back to the hole. 251 00:12:05,840 --> 00:12:09,920 And Mel being the kind man that he is decided to pick it up and bring it to the edge of 252 00:12:09,920 --> 00:12:10,920 the hole. 253 00:12:10,920 --> 00:12:16,080 He said that it was slimy and that the slime that was producing smelled like ozone. 254 00:12:16,080 --> 00:12:20,240 And then after placing the fetal seal with human eyes near the edge of the hole, it just 255 00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:23,980 kind of sat there observing and studying the men almost. 256 00:12:23,980 --> 00:12:27,780 And then the men in the steel seal just kind of stared at each other for a few hours before 257 00:12:27,780 --> 00:12:32,800 the creature gave one last knowing look to Mel and then fucking swan dived headfirst 258 00:12:32,800 --> 00:12:34,920 back into the hole. 259 00:12:34,920 --> 00:12:37,040 You look upset. 260 00:12:37,040 --> 00:12:41,480 I just you weren't ready for that. 261 00:12:41,480 --> 00:12:42,920 Were you at all? 262 00:12:42,920 --> 00:12:43,920 Nope. 263 00:12:43,920 --> 00:12:50,800 I don't know what I was expecting, but you still surprised me. 264 00:12:50,800 --> 00:12:53,440 I just want to do a quick rundown here. 265 00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:54,440 Drop a sheep in the hole. 266 00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:55,440 Sheep's in the hole. 267 00:12:55,440 --> 00:12:56,440 Pull it out. 268 00:12:56,440 --> 00:12:57,440 Pull it out. 269 00:12:57,440 --> 00:12:58,440 Sheep's dead on the inside. 270 00:12:58,440 --> 00:13:00,240 Dead because it's been cooked from the inside out. 271 00:13:00,240 --> 00:13:01,240 Fucking like a. 272 00:13:01,240 --> 00:13:02,240 You find a tumor that's. 273 00:13:02,240 --> 00:13:03,240 Yeah. 274 00:13:03,240 --> 00:13:08,360 And the tumor is like gyrating, so they cut open the tumor and pull out a seal. 275 00:13:08,360 --> 00:13:10,440 Mel proceeds after watching. 276 00:13:10,440 --> 00:13:11,440 Hold on. 277 00:13:11,440 --> 00:13:12,440 Wait, hold on. 278 00:13:12,440 --> 00:13:15,280 A seal with human eyes. 279 00:13:15,280 --> 00:13:16,280 Human eyes. 280 00:13:16,280 --> 00:13:17,280 Right. 281 00:13:17,280 --> 00:13:18,280 Right. 282 00:13:18,280 --> 00:13:19,280 I'm sorry. 283 00:13:19,280 --> 00:13:20,280 My mistake. 284 00:13:20,280 --> 00:13:22,760 So then Mel, seeing all of this happen and knowing that whatever was in that hole killed 285 00:13:22,760 --> 00:13:26,440 the sheep, he picked it up. 286 00:13:26,440 --> 00:13:27,440 Yeah. 287 00:13:27,440 --> 00:13:28,440 Yeah. 288 00:13:28,440 --> 00:13:31,440 Both hands and carried it like a baby and then stared at it. 289 00:13:31,440 --> 00:13:33,840 He didn't eat it into the hole like a normal human being. 290 00:13:33,840 --> 00:13:34,840 No, he placed it gently. 291 00:13:34,840 --> 00:13:38,880 This guy's throwing wrenches, lifesavers, refrigerators, anything he can in the hole, 292 00:13:38,880 --> 00:13:41,240 but he finds a living demon seal. 293 00:13:41,240 --> 00:13:42,240 Yeah. 294 00:13:42,240 --> 00:13:43,240 Satan seal. 295 00:13:43,240 --> 00:13:49,720 And he's like, let me just gently carry this little fella that killed this sheep like a 296 00:13:49,720 --> 00:13:50,720 horrible parasite. 297 00:13:50,720 --> 00:13:51,720 Let me touch it. 298 00:13:51,720 --> 00:13:52,720 Yeah. 299 00:13:52,720 --> 00:13:56,120 Even though I don't know that it, you know, maybe it's contagious. 300 00:13:56,120 --> 00:13:58,960 Maybe I'll get, you know, at best cancer. 301 00:13:58,960 --> 00:14:03,680 Let me just carry it over to the edge of this weird hole and watch it. 302 00:14:03,680 --> 00:14:10,080 And then we're going to make eye contact for a couple of hours, like a weird fucking sci-fi 303 00:14:10,080 --> 00:14:11,080 romance novel. 304 00:14:11,080 --> 00:14:12,080 Yeah. 305 00:14:12,080 --> 00:14:17,720 And then, you know, the seal, after taking in the entire crowd, memorizing all their 306 00:14:17,720 --> 00:14:20,600 faces so it can come back and impregnate the rest of them. 307 00:14:20,600 --> 00:14:23,240 It feels like, well, didn't even think about it. 308 00:14:23,240 --> 00:14:24,240 See you later. 309 00:14:24,240 --> 00:14:25,240 I was taking stock. 310 00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:26,240 I didn't even think. 311 00:14:26,240 --> 00:14:27,240 Yeah. 312 00:14:27,240 --> 00:14:30,520 And then watching them like, oh man, are these guys going to hurt me? 313 00:14:30,520 --> 00:14:33,640 The seal was like, oh man, I wonder how big his butthole is. 314 00:14:33,640 --> 00:14:37,720 You know, he was definitely memorizing faces, but the way they described it is that before 315 00:14:37,720 --> 00:14:41,800 it leaped into the hole, it like did one of those like turned around, gave like a knowing 316 00:14:41,800 --> 00:14:47,240 like, like one of those like things like a, we understand each other and then dove into 317 00:14:47,240 --> 00:14:48,240 the hole. 318 00:14:48,240 --> 00:14:49,240 No. 319 00:14:49,240 --> 00:14:56,000 See what happened is the seal actually looked at Mel and gave him a wink like tonight, you. 320 00:14:56,000 --> 00:14:59,200 And then jumped in the hole. 321 00:14:59,200 --> 00:15:00,680 So like, see you later. 322 00:15:00,680 --> 00:15:01,840 I'll be inside you. 323 00:15:01,840 --> 00:15:02,840 So don't resist. 324 00:15:02,840 --> 00:15:08,240 So it's funny that you said that at the very least this thing could cause cancer. 325 00:15:08,240 --> 00:15:11,320 What if I told you that the opposite was true? 326 00:15:11,320 --> 00:15:15,760 Now, one thing I didn't mention was that before Mel had made his way to Nevada, he had been 327 00:15:15,760 --> 00:15:20,840 diagnosed with advanced esophageal cancer and was told by the doctors that he had only 328 00:15:20,840 --> 00:15:22,640 six months left to live. 329 00:15:22,640 --> 00:15:28,000 But after, is it possible that the cancer took Mel's back teeth and he just misunderstood 330 00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:33,600 the situation either way after having a staring contest with pretty much the baby from a racer 331 00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:38,160 head for a few hours, he was cancer free. 332 00:15:38,160 --> 00:15:41,000 The baby seal cured his cancer. 333 00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:47,280 Unfortunately it was after this revelation that the show with the coast to coast, they 334 00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:48,280 ran out of airtime. 335 00:15:48,280 --> 00:15:51,740 So Mel agrees to come back on for another interview and give an update. 336 00:15:51,740 --> 00:15:56,400 And he does just a few months later, he comes back on coast to coast. 337 00:15:56,400 --> 00:15:58,320 You remember the burning bucket of ice? 338 00:15:58,320 --> 00:16:00,960 You just talked about it. 339 00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:06,420 In this episode of coast to coast, he tells a story about one of the Basque men took it 340 00:16:06,420 --> 00:16:09,800 back to his cabin to use like as a heating source, because why wouldn't you? 341 00:16:09,800 --> 00:16:15,680 It's like an infinite, you know, well he put it in a stove and I'm assuming he put it in 342 00:16:15,680 --> 00:16:17,560 a wood stove and not like his oven. 343 00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:21,160 Either way, he said that it burned for several months. 344 00:16:21,160 --> 00:16:26,240 The only downside is that it made the air in his cabin like crazy dry and no matter 345 00:16:26,240 --> 00:16:29,080 what he did, he couldn't get moisture to stay. 346 00:16:29,080 --> 00:16:30,080 Skin was always dry. 347 00:16:30,080 --> 00:16:31,080 He was constantly thirsty. 348 00:16:31,080 --> 00:16:35,320 If you boil his water, all the steam would just get sucked into the stove, which if you 349 00:16:35,320 --> 00:16:38,400 ever had a wood stove, that's just what happens. 350 00:16:38,400 --> 00:16:40,120 I feel like I don't know. 351 00:16:40,120 --> 00:16:43,640 Maybe this is worse, but it just sounds like the man has a wood stove. 352 00:16:43,640 --> 00:16:49,080 But then one day the stove crashed straight through the floor of his cabin and into the 353 00:16:49,080 --> 00:16:51,960 ground, but the ice was still burning and keeping him warm. 354 00:16:51,960 --> 00:16:57,520 So he just patched up the floor and left a little hole for the heat to rise up into his 355 00:16:57,520 --> 00:16:58,520 cabin. 356 00:16:58,520 --> 00:17:04,120 None anyway concerned about the open flame underneath his house in a wood stove that 357 00:17:04,120 --> 00:17:05,360 just crashed to the floor. 358 00:17:05,360 --> 00:17:09,360 No, no, just just kind of fucking built around it, cut a little hole so the heat come up 359 00:17:09,360 --> 00:17:10,360 through it. 360 00:17:10,360 --> 00:17:11,360 Call it that dude. 361 00:17:11,360 --> 00:17:12,360 It's called it's called ingenuity. 362 00:17:12,360 --> 00:17:13,360 All right. 363 00:17:13,360 --> 00:17:15,800 He's saving he's saving money and making money at the same time. 364 00:17:15,800 --> 00:17:22,520 Now until the heat with nowhere to go eventually ignites his floor and burns down the cabin. 365 00:17:22,520 --> 00:17:23,520 That's not how science works. 366 00:17:23,520 --> 00:17:24,520 Oh no. 367 00:17:24,520 --> 00:17:26,520 Oh no, my friend. 368 00:17:26,520 --> 00:17:27,520 Let me tell you a little story. 369 00:17:27,520 --> 00:17:35,840 When I was overseas, we had a fire pit and we used to have like campfires at night. 370 00:17:35,840 --> 00:17:42,040 We would take like pressure treated wood, which you know, you're not supposed to burn, 371 00:17:42,040 --> 00:17:43,040 but not really. 372 00:17:43,040 --> 00:17:46,720 Wow, given that the Iraqis were burning tires to stay warm, I figured pressure treated wood 373 00:17:46,720 --> 00:17:47,720 would be OK. 374 00:17:47,720 --> 00:17:51,960 I'd rather breathe in pressure treated wood than fucking rubber fumes. 375 00:17:51,960 --> 00:17:52,960 Yeah. 376 00:17:52,960 --> 00:17:53,960 Yeah. 377 00:17:53,960 --> 00:17:57,280 So all you had to do was hold a match to the wood and it would immediately immediately catch 378 00:17:57,280 --> 00:17:58,280 fire. 379 00:17:58,280 --> 00:17:59,280 You didn't need kindling or paper or anything. 380 00:17:59,280 --> 00:18:00,280 Yeah, because it was so dry there. 381 00:18:00,280 --> 00:18:01,280 Oh, also that makes sense. 382 00:18:01,280 --> 00:18:06,560 Yeah, it would just it would just catch fire because it was so dry. 383 00:18:06,560 --> 00:18:12,760 So I'm thinking this genius was like, I've got this unlimited source of heat that is 384 00:18:12,760 --> 00:18:16,920 never going to relent and also is drying out everything. 385 00:18:16,920 --> 00:18:17,920 Yeah. 386 00:18:17,920 --> 00:18:18,920 Let me just throw it. 387 00:18:18,920 --> 00:18:19,920 Leave it. 388 00:18:19,920 --> 00:18:21,560 Let me just build a little fence around it. 389 00:18:21,560 --> 00:18:22,560 Yeah. 390 00:18:22,560 --> 00:18:23,560 Well, brilliant. 391 00:18:23,560 --> 00:18:29,240 I mean, your theory is pretty much accurate because a few weeks later, he returns home 392 00:18:29,240 --> 00:18:33,520 and finds his cabin completely collapsed and pretty much dust at this point and now has 393 00:18:33,520 --> 00:18:35,000 to move in with his brother. 394 00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:39,560 Now, a few weeks after that, he goes back to where his cabin once was and finds that 395 00:18:39,560 --> 00:18:43,960 the ice in the side of the stove is still burning and the stove is now five feet into 396 00:18:43,960 --> 00:18:44,960 the ground. 397 00:18:44,960 --> 00:18:48,620 The only thing weird about this is that the hole that it was making was perfectly round 398 00:18:48,620 --> 00:18:49,620 and smooth. 399 00:18:49,620 --> 00:18:52,520 It was pretty much creating another bottomless pit. 400 00:18:52,520 --> 00:18:54,800 So this is how the holes happen. 401 00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:59,160 So unable to get the stove out by hand, they had to bring in heavy machinery like a crane 402 00:18:59,160 --> 00:19:03,640 to get the thing out of the ground to prevent it from going any further. 403 00:19:03,640 --> 00:19:05,960 Now the Basque... 404 00:19:05,960 --> 00:19:08,560 Is this like a reverse version of ice nine? 405 00:19:08,560 --> 00:19:09,960 Kinda, yeah. 406 00:19:09,960 --> 00:19:13,880 It's just...just wait. 407 00:19:13,880 --> 00:19:15,440 Perpetually creating holes. 408 00:19:15,440 --> 00:19:16,440 Pretty much. 409 00:19:16,440 --> 00:19:21,320 Now the Basque also told Mel that the fetal seal with human eyes often visited them and 410 00:19:21,320 --> 00:19:27,840 they felt that it was a benevolent presence and for them, it was a very spiritual experience. 411 00:19:27,840 --> 00:19:31,800 Brightly colored birds had started circling the hole and they also discovered that the 412 00:19:31,800 --> 00:19:37,320 birds were somehow immune to bullets because if you know one thing about Americans, if 413 00:19:37,320 --> 00:19:44,080 something is weird, the first thing you gotta do is try and fucking murder it. 414 00:19:44,080 --> 00:19:46,720 But also like they said it was a spiritual experiment. 415 00:19:46,720 --> 00:19:49,760 Why the fuck are they trying to kill the birds? 416 00:19:49,760 --> 00:19:52,760 Because I mean that is literally the most American thing you could do. 417 00:19:52,760 --> 00:19:56,000 Like, oh my God, I feel the presence of the Lord. 418 00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:58,580 Let me shoot at it. 419 00:19:58,580 --> 00:20:04,880 So they also believe that the divine seal was communicating with them via radio with 420 00:20:04,880 --> 00:20:09,920 a series of clicks and beeps and said that they can totally understand it. 421 00:20:09,920 --> 00:20:13,400 The Basque said that the creature warned that the ice was extremely dangerous and if it 422 00:20:13,400 --> 00:20:16,000 fell into the wrong hands, it could straight up end the world. 423 00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:18,200 So that's cool. 424 00:20:18,200 --> 00:20:19,200 Yeah. 425 00:20:19,200 --> 00:20:22,000 No, that makes total sense. 426 00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:23,000 Yeah. 427 00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:27,720 Now at this point, Arbel is like, hell yeah, and asks if there's any recordings of this 428 00:20:27,720 --> 00:20:31,760 language, any photos of the whole of the seal and Mel's like, oh yeah, dude, I got fucking 429 00:20:31,760 --> 00:20:33,240 plenty of evidence. 430 00:20:33,240 --> 00:20:35,120 Don't you fucking worry about it. 431 00:20:35,120 --> 00:20:37,440 Tell you what, Arbel, I'm going to go to Nevada. 432 00:20:37,440 --> 00:20:41,120 I'll gather all the evidence you need and share it with you and all your listeners. 433 00:20:41,120 --> 00:20:46,960 So with this, Mel hangs up and is never heard from again. 434 00:20:46,960 --> 00:20:51,720 He doesn't return any of Arbel's calls or messages and eventually his phone line is 435 00:20:51,720 --> 00:20:52,720 disconnected. 436 00:20:52,720 --> 00:20:59,640 So after five years and leaving us with more questions than answers, this is how the story 437 00:20:59,640 --> 00:21:01,480 of Mel's hole ends. 438 00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:04,440 I'm really, that's it. 439 00:21:04,440 --> 00:21:05,640 I'm really sad. 440 00:21:05,640 --> 00:21:06,640 It's very anti-climactic. 441 00:21:06,640 --> 00:21:09,800 Because there needs to be more. 442 00:21:09,800 --> 00:21:10,800 That's it. 443 00:21:10,800 --> 00:21:15,080 I like how, I like how Art Bel just yes-handed this guy into death. 444 00:21:15,080 --> 00:21:16,080 Probably. 445 00:21:16,080 --> 00:21:17,080 He's probably dead. 446 00:21:17,080 --> 00:21:19,640 The guy probably fell into the hole. 447 00:21:19,640 --> 00:21:24,280 He was like trying to get a selfie and then just slip backwards. 448 00:21:24,280 --> 00:21:25,960 I'm going to be a hundred percent honest with you. 449 00:21:25,960 --> 00:21:27,360 I don't think there was ever a hole. 450 00:21:27,360 --> 00:21:29,360 Oh no, no, none of this is real. 451 00:21:29,360 --> 00:21:31,360 This is insane. 452 00:21:31,360 --> 00:21:32,360 It is insane. 453 00:21:32,360 --> 00:21:35,680 And there's a few problems with Mel's story. 454 00:21:35,680 --> 00:21:38,840 I didn't write any of this down, but I'm going to go off memory. 455 00:21:38,840 --> 00:21:46,080 First of all, the first problem is, is that remember the whole Tara, whatever website, 456 00:21:46,080 --> 00:21:48,680 like the first Google Earth that. 457 00:21:48,680 --> 00:21:51,160 So apparently that was real for like a minute. 458 00:21:51,160 --> 00:21:55,520 And then they, then there was a patch like an up, cause they had just launched the website. 459 00:21:55,520 --> 00:21:56,520 They updated a patch. 460 00:21:56,520 --> 00:21:57,520 Okay. 461 00:21:57,520 --> 00:22:00,080 That whole area became unblocked out. 462 00:22:00,080 --> 00:22:03,200 And if you go to Google Earth now where that same area was, it was never blocked out to 463 00:22:03,200 --> 00:22:04,320 begin with. 464 00:22:04,320 --> 00:22:07,800 So strike one, strike two. 465 00:22:07,800 --> 00:22:09,440 Okay. 466 00:22:09,440 --> 00:22:16,280 A hole of any sort of depth that deep into the earth structurally could not exist. 467 00:22:16,280 --> 00:22:21,040 I mean, is it, if it's paranormal, maybe, but I mean, let's be honest, that can't be 468 00:22:21,040 --> 00:22:22,040 real. 469 00:22:22,040 --> 00:22:23,040 Come on. 470 00:22:23,040 --> 00:22:25,440 But I mean, I don't. 471 00:22:25,440 --> 00:22:27,920 Also the metal around the other hole, like who put it there? 472 00:22:27,920 --> 00:22:29,440 Somebody had to put the metal there. 473 00:22:29,440 --> 00:22:30,440 Yeah. 474 00:22:30,440 --> 00:22:33,600 It's all just made up gobbledygook, but it's a great fucking story. 475 00:22:33,600 --> 00:22:35,080 I was invested the entire time. 476 00:22:35,080 --> 00:22:40,840 I like how Art Bell hook line and sinker was just like, yes, yes, this is real. 477 00:22:40,840 --> 00:22:46,240 I don't know if Art Bell was like that though, because Art Bell, if anything, he, he did 478 00:22:46,240 --> 00:22:51,280 give a lot of like, he, he gave a lot of leeway to his callers. 479 00:22:51,280 --> 00:22:54,760 Like he, but I think it was cause he knew that it was captivating radio. 480 00:22:54,760 --> 00:22:57,720 I don't think he actually believed a lot of the, I don't think he believed a lot of the 481 00:22:57,720 --> 00:22:58,840 stuff that people told him. 482 00:22:58,840 --> 00:23:01,360 I remember one time Art Bell, was it Art Bell or George Norrie? 483 00:23:01,360 --> 00:23:10,480 One of them was duped into some guy called in pretending to be Gordon Friedman from Half 484 00:23:10,480 --> 00:23:16,720 Life, the video game and pretty much, and pretty much, pretty much described the entire 485 00:23:16,720 --> 00:23:20,760 plot of Half Life one and two to him. 486 00:23:20,760 --> 00:23:22,160 And our bell was just the entire time. 487 00:23:22,160 --> 00:23:24,240 She was like, Oh wow, that's portal technology. 488 00:23:24,240 --> 00:23:25,240 That's what, like, you know what I mean? 489 00:23:25,240 --> 00:23:28,360 Like he just full on went with it. 490 00:23:28,360 --> 00:23:31,120 So he, I think he just knew that it was good radio. 491 00:23:31,120 --> 00:23:35,560 I don't think he believed any of this, but I do like that he, he gave those people a 492 00:23:35,560 --> 00:23:39,240 platform, which is also kind of bad because he gave those people a fucking platform. 493 00:23:39,240 --> 00:23:42,280 Yeah, but I mean, like at the same time, it's kind of harmless. 494 00:23:42,280 --> 00:23:47,280 It's not like, it's not like Alex Jones where he's giving these people a platform. 495 00:23:47,280 --> 00:23:50,200 Then they're going on to threaten victims of violent crime. 496 00:23:50,200 --> 00:23:51,200 True. 497 00:23:51,200 --> 00:23:53,440 These people are just harmless lunatics. 498 00:23:53,440 --> 00:23:55,560 The government stole my back teeth. 499 00:23:55,560 --> 00:23:57,480 I found a deep hole in the ground. 500 00:23:57,480 --> 00:24:01,800 There's some odd Spanish folk here who are going to put a sheep in there. 501 00:24:01,800 --> 00:24:02,800 I met it. 502 00:24:02,800 --> 00:24:03,800 I met a special seal. 503 00:24:03,800 --> 00:24:06,360 He did a God seal. 504 00:24:06,360 --> 00:24:07,880 You were not expecting that seal. 505 00:24:07,880 --> 00:24:08,880 No, no, no. 506 00:24:08,880 --> 00:24:09,880 I was not. 507 00:24:09,880 --> 00:24:13,320 I was completely fucking shocked by the seal. 508 00:24:13,320 --> 00:24:17,520 Frankly, I, I wish this were true. 509 00:24:17,520 --> 00:24:18,520 Oh yeah. 510 00:24:18,520 --> 00:24:19,520 I wish. 511 00:24:19,520 --> 00:24:22,400 And that's what kills me about a lot of these stories is like, there's a part of me that 512 00:24:22,400 --> 00:24:27,760 really wishes it were true and that like, there's just this crazy hole that you can 513 00:24:27,760 --> 00:24:30,640 throw anything into and it never comes back. 514 00:24:30,640 --> 00:24:31,640 Yeah. 515 00:24:31,640 --> 00:24:33,820 You never hear it hit the ground. 516 00:24:33,820 --> 00:24:40,040 There's weird slippery seals in there, beautiful birds that you can't kill for some reason. 517 00:24:40,040 --> 00:24:42,080 The government wants to stop you. 518 00:24:42,080 --> 00:24:44,080 I just love that they attempted to kill the birds. 519 00:24:44,080 --> 00:24:45,080 Oh yeah. 520 00:24:45,080 --> 00:24:50,120 They're like, this is a whole, like, this is like a spiritual transformative like experience 521 00:24:50,120 --> 00:24:53,320 we're having fucking kill these birds. 522 00:24:53,320 --> 00:24:54,320 Yeah. 523 00:24:54,320 --> 00:24:55,320 Immediately. 524 00:24:55,320 --> 00:24:56,320 Like first react. 525 00:24:56,320 --> 00:24:57,320 Like why? 526 00:24:57,320 --> 00:24:58,680 You know how it works too. 527 00:24:58,680 --> 00:25:02,240 Like they saw the birds and this one guy was like, those are beautiful. 528 00:25:02,240 --> 00:25:04,000 Honey, get my rifle. 529 00:25:04,000 --> 00:25:05,000 Yeah. 530 00:25:05,000 --> 00:25:07,080 It wasn't even like, there wasn't a discussion. 531 00:25:07,080 --> 00:25:09,040 Everyone just knew they were going to shoot at them. 532 00:25:09,040 --> 00:25:10,040 Yeah. 533 00:25:10,040 --> 00:25:12,560 Like, like, like, like there's no, I don't, I don't know if the basket or in tribes or 534 00:25:12,560 --> 00:25:16,480 whatever, but like there was no like elder to be like, don't fucking shoot these birds. 535 00:25:16,480 --> 00:25:17,560 Like everyone's just like in agreement. 536 00:25:17,560 --> 00:25:20,360 Like these, they gotta go where they can't have this. 537 00:25:20,360 --> 00:25:22,920 They're like, Hey, they're, they're shitting on my Volvo. 538 00:25:22,920 --> 00:25:23,920 Just for the wind. 539 00:25:23,920 --> 00:25:24,920 Yeah. 540 00:25:24,920 --> 00:25:25,920 And adjust for the wind. 541 00:25:25,920 --> 00:25:26,920 Yeah. 542 00:25:26,920 --> 00:25:27,920 You're going to need a scope. 543 00:25:27,920 --> 00:25:28,920 You got to lead the birds. 544 00:25:28,920 --> 00:25:29,920 They're going to, you know, 545 00:25:29,920 --> 00:25:34,800 Oh, but yeah, but there you have it, man. 546 00:25:34,800 --> 00:25:36,240 That is, that is the story of Mel's hole. 547 00:25:36,240 --> 00:25:41,960 I wish it wasn't so anticlimactic and maybe, you know, eventually Mel will come back, but 548 00:25:41,960 --> 00:25:44,120 it's been years at this point, so I don't think he will. 549 00:25:44,120 --> 00:25:47,320 But what do you, I mean, what do you think? 550 00:25:47,320 --> 00:25:51,760 The only thing that would have made this story better is if after meeting the seal, his teeth 551 00:25:51,760 --> 00:25:54,760 grew back. 552 00:25:54,760 --> 00:25:56,360 It wasn't enough for the cancer to go away. 553 00:25:56,360 --> 00:25:57,360 Yeah. 554 00:25:57,360 --> 00:26:02,080 I mean, cancer, that's kind of awesome, but I think it would have also been really fascinating 555 00:26:02,080 --> 00:26:05,240 if like he also regenerated his teeth. 556 00:26:05,240 --> 00:26:06,240 True. 557 00:26:06,240 --> 00:26:10,240 But also now thinking about it, maybe it was just a dude who had cancer and like he like 558 00:26:10,240 --> 00:26:14,320 was like hallucinating or something like that. 559 00:26:14,320 --> 00:26:15,320 Maybe he got cancer. 560 00:26:15,320 --> 00:26:18,480 He knew it was the end of the road and he's like, I'm just going to start doing peyote 561 00:26:18,480 --> 00:26:20,840 and call coast to coast AM. 562 00:26:20,840 --> 00:26:26,920 But that would explain like, you know, the, the loss of time, the, the IV in his arm, 563 00:26:26,920 --> 00:26:27,920 maybe it was from chemo or something like that. 564 00:26:27,920 --> 00:26:28,920 Yeah. 565 00:26:28,920 --> 00:26:29,920 And he never went to Australia. 566 00:26:29,920 --> 00:26:32,840 He was just in a hospital and had an Australian doctor. 567 00:26:32,840 --> 00:26:36,680 But maybe his family was like, oh, there's a really good oncology department in this 568 00:26:36,680 --> 00:26:37,680 hospital in Australia. 569 00:26:37,680 --> 00:26:38,680 Let's fuck. 570 00:26:38,680 --> 00:26:39,680 Okay. 571 00:26:39,680 --> 00:26:40,680 Yeah, that's fair. 572 00:26:40,680 --> 00:26:41,680 It could have been a whole thing. 573 00:26:41,680 --> 00:26:46,960 And then he just fucking either due to the radiation or the cancer, something like he 574 00:26:46,960 --> 00:26:48,480 just forgot why he was there. 575 00:26:48,480 --> 00:26:50,640 I was like, I got to go back to the States. 576 00:26:50,640 --> 00:26:53,840 And then I like to believe he was just taking psychedelics this whole time. 577 00:26:53,840 --> 00:26:55,480 I mean, that's also a possibility. 578 00:26:55,480 --> 00:26:59,200 Like he's just having the most fascinating life. 579 00:26:59,200 --> 00:27:00,200 Yeah. 580 00:27:00,200 --> 00:27:04,800 Not realizing like he's Mr. Magoo, like just doesn't see any of the things happening around 581 00:27:04,800 --> 00:27:09,680 him and is just traveling through life, tripping balls. 582 00:27:09,680 --> 00:27:13,600 Everyone to him is looks like a muppet pretty much. 583 00:27:13,600 --> 00:27:18,920 Everything's just magical and wonderful. 584 00:27:18,920 --> 00:27:20,280 Yeah, exactly. 585 00:27:20,280 --> 00:27:21,280 It's perfect. 586 00:27:21,280 --> 00:27:25,440 I don't know, in my head, when when when they when I first learned about the the seal with 587 00:27:25,440 --> 00:27:30,080 human eyes, my first thought was like a fetal version of like Justin Long in that movie 588 00:27:30,080 --> 00:27:31,080 Tusk. 589 00:27:31,080 --> 00:27:32,080 Oh, yeah. 590 00:27:32,080 --> 00:27:33,080 Oh, God. 591 00:27:33,080 --> 00:27:39,160 As much as I hate that movie, I watched it once and immediately like never watch it again. 592 00:27:39,160 --> 00:27:42,120 That's there's a lot of movies out there that you really only need to watch once. 593 00:27:42,120 --> 00:27:44,720 Yeah, that's definitely one of them like Requiem for a Dream. 594 00:27:44,720 --> 00:27:46,680 Yeah, I only needed that one time. 595 00:27:46,680 --> 00:27:47,680 Yeah. 596 00:27:47,680 --> 00:27:50,120 Bummer of a movie list. 597 00:27:50,120 --> 00:27:52,040 That's a good personality test, though, too. 598 00:27:52,040 --> 00:27:56,120 Like if you ask somebody, you know how many times they've seen Shinla's list, if their 599 00:27:56,120 --> 00:28:00,040 answer is greater than one, they're not someone you want to be around all the time. 600 00:28:00,040 --> 00:28:03,200 Yeah, no, because you get the point. 601 00:28:03,200 --> 00:28:05,920 Yeah, you only need it one the one time. 602 00:28:05,920 --> 00:28:06,920 We all get the vibes. 603 00:28:06,920 --> 00:28:07,920 But yeah, that's it. 604 00:28:07,920 --> 00:28:08,920 That's the end of the episode. 605 00:28:08,920 --> 00:28:12,840 It was a shorter episode than normal, but it needed to happen. 606 00:28:12,840 --> 00:28:15,480 Needed to happen to to really round out this story. 607 00:28:15,480 --> 00:28:16,480 A lot. 608 00:28:16,480 --> 00:28:18,720 There was a lot in that episode, though. 609 00:28:18,720 --> 00:28:19,720 There was. 610 00:28:19,720 --> 00:28:23,040 I went through it, but there was a lot of information. 611 00:28:23,040 --> 00:28:24,200 I have no complaints. 612 00:28:24,200 --> 00:28:30,520 I tried to write it to the point where I couldn't where we couldn't make puns about any of it. 613 00:28:30,520 --> 00:28:32,600 Well, you know, you're right. 614 00:28:32,600 --> 00:28:35,160 This time Mel's hole was densely packed. 615 00:28:35,160 --> 00:28:40,520 I changed the word hole to pit a lot of it because I was trying to cut down on the giggles. 616 00:28:40,520 --> 00:28:43,760 You really filled out Mel's hole nicely. 617 00:28:43,760 --> 00:28:44,760 I did. 618 00:28:44,760 --> 00:28:45,760 All right. 619 00:28:45,760 --> 00:28:47,840 Well, before we go, a couple of things. 620 00:28:47,840 --> 00:28:52,560 I should have done this at the beginning of the episode, but we got a I got an update 621 00:28:52,560 --> 00:28:56,920 from a form from a letter from a letter episode. 622 00:28:56,920 --> 00:28:59,360 Christina from Big Big Philly. 623 00:28:59,360 --> 00:29:05,040 We did an episode while back, not me and her, but on the fairies of Ireland and also the 624 00:29:05,040 --> 00:29:10,680 Pukwudgies who are notorious for taking babies and changing them out with changelings. 625 00:29:10,680 --> 00:29:15,000 I never found out what happened with the actual babies or with the changelings. 626 00:29:15,000 --> 00:29:17,920 You said changelings, I thought you were just going to say change. 627 00:29:17,920 --> 00:29:20,800 I'm like, they take your baby and leave you like a couple of pennies. 628 00:29:20,800 --> 00:29:23,360 Like a fistful of fucking change. 629 00:29:23,360 --> 00:29:24,360 No. 630 00:29:24,360 --> 00:29:28,640 So but I never I never knew what happened with the babies after they were taken or what 631 00:29:28,640 --> 00:29:29,640 happened with the changelings. 632 00:29:29,640 --> 00:29:33,320 Like, do they grow up just as like a human? 633 00:29:33,320 --> 00:29:36,720 Well, thanks to Christina from Big Big Philly. 634 00:29:36,720 --> 00:29:37,720 This is what she had to say. 635 00:29:37,720 --> 00:29:39,860 She said, I just listened to the Irish Fay episode. 636 00:29:39,860 --> 00:29:43,800 You may have found this info already, but as a self appointed Philly fairy expert, here's 637 00:29:43,800 --> 00:29:45,560 what I got. 638 00:29:45,560 --> 00:29:50,300 Changelings are swapped out for the real babies because most fae love them mostly for their 639 00:29:50,300 --> 00:29:54,520 cherubic sweet nature, but also sometimes to eat them. 640 00:29:54,520 --> 00:29:58,080 The changelings usually the changelings they replace them with usually get sick and die 641 00:29:58,080 --> 00:30:00,120 as quote unquote infants. 642 00:30:00,120 --> 00:30:03,280 So they wouldn't necessarily grow up as fae in the human world. 643 00:30:03,280 --> 00:30:08,120 The human counterpart, however, will live as a baby or child in the fairy world. 644 00:30:08,120 --> 00:30:11,720 Sometimes the fae would give them back and just release them into the woods. 645 00:30:11,720 --> 00:30:15,580 And this caused a lot of like quote unquote missing child that found safe and sound under 646 00:30:15,580 --> 00:30:19,720 bizarre circumstances were blamed on the fae. 647 00:30:19,720 --> 00:30:24,100 Some parents would take their sick babies into the woods in hopes that it was a changeling 648 00:30:24,100 --> 00:30:27,840 and the fairies would take pity on them, slash swap them back. 649 00:30:27,840 --> 00:30:30,440 So that's some clarification on that. 650 00:30:30,440 --> 00:30:34,400 That to me sounds a little bit like an excuse for committing child abuse. 651 00:30:34,400 --> 00:30:35,400 Pretty much. 652 00:30:35,400 --> 00:30:36,400 My baby's sick. 653 00:30:36,400 --> 00:30:37,400 I was going to throw it in the woods. 654 00:30:37,400 --> 00:30:39,760 Yeah, there's a fairy that's going to fix it. 655 00:30:39,760 --> 00:30:44,440 You guys will understand later on when the fairy comes back with the real baby eventually. 656 00:30:44,440 --> 00:30:45,440 Yeah. 657 00:30:45,440 --> 00:30:46,440 Yeah. 658 00:30:46,440 --> 00:30:49,920 We found the coughs like did you baby? 659 00:30:49,920 --> 00:30:53,120 No, no, we left in the woods because the fairies are going to make it better. 660 00:30:53,120 --> 00:30:54,120 It's fine. 661 00:30:54,120 --> 00:30:55,320 It's it was a changeling. 662 00:30:55,320 --> 00:30:57,080 We want the real baby back. 663 00:30:57,080 --> 00:31:02,200 So I just left the baby on a log and you know, a new one will be here soon. 664 00:31:02,200 --> 00:31:06,440 So next up real quick before we head out, I just want to say that we have another up 665 00:31:06,440 --> 00:31:11,120 another installment of wholesome content. 666 00:31:11,120 --> 00:31:15,600 We got a very nice. 667 00:31:15,600 --> 00:31:20,400 We got a very nice message from Fatality. 668 00:31:20,400 --> 00:31:26,040 Dennis two, two, three, seven on Instagram said, just started listening this week. 669 00:31:26,040 --> 00:31:29,680 And when I say I've been hours each day, I mean, so many hours. 670 00:31:29,680 --> 00:31:33,080 This is honestly in my top three pods and I've been sending it to everyone. 671 00:31:33,080 --> 00:31:34,640 So thank you very much, Danny. 672 00:31:34,640 --> 00:31:36,000 I appreciate it very much. 673 00:31:36,000 --> 00:31:38,200 I'm assuming appreciates it as well. 674 00:31:38,200 --> 00:31:40,320 Danny, I love you. 675 00:31:40,320 --> 00:31:43,960 But a hug, but uncomfortable hug. 676 00:31:43,960 --> 00:31:44,960 No kissing. 677 00:31:44,960 --> 00:31:48,880 Just maybe they could be kissing some light neck breaths. 678 00:31:48,880 --> 00:31:49,880 Breath. 679 00:31:49,880 --> 00:31:50,880 Yeah. 680 00:31:50,880 --> 00:31:51,880 Yeah. 681 00:31:51,880 --> 00:31:52,880 All right. 682 00:31:52,880 --> 00:31:54,680 We'll rub our mustaches together like two toothbrushes. 683 00:31:54,680 --> 00:31:57,040 Danny's a girl, but it's fine. 684 00:31:57,040 --> 00:31:59,080 Oh, Danai. 685 00:31:59,080 --> 00:32:00,440 Oops. 686 00:32:00,440 --> 00:32:02,440 Apologies. 687 00:32:02,440 --> 00:32:07,520 I believe this is now considered some kind of harassment. 688 00:32:07,520 --> 00:32:08,520 Yeah. 689 00:32:08,520 --> 00:32:09,520 So don't sue us. 690 00:32:09,520 --> 00:32:10,520 We don't have any money. 691 00:32:10,520 --> 00:32:13,160 So Danny is no longer a listener to the show. 692 00:32:13,160 --> 00:32:14,160 Whoops. 693 00:32:14,160 --> 00:32:15,160 Oh, shit. 694 00:32:15,160 --> 00:32:16,160 All right. 695 00:32:16,160 --> 00:32:17,160 Well, it's nice. 696 00:32:17,160 --> 00:32:18,160 Well, it lasted. 697 00:32:18,160 --> 00:32:19,160 Yeah. 698 00:32:19,160 --> 00:32:20,160 Thank you everyone for listening. 699 00:32:20,160 --> 00:32:23,160 This will be our last episode now. 700 00:32:23,160 --> 00:32:24,160 Thank you, Sarge. 701 00:32:24,160 --> 00:32:25,160 And 702 00:32:25,160 --> 00:32:31,080 all right, Sarge, is there anything you want to plug? 703 00:32:31,080 --> 00:32:34,400 Also, by the way, congratulations on the latest episode of Citizen's Guide. 704 00:32:34,400 --> 00:32:36,160 That was such a blast to listen to. 705 00:32:36,160 --> 00:32:37,880 Jeremy was fucking awesome. 706 00:32:37,880 --> 00:32:38,880 He was hilarious. 707 00:32:38,880 --> 00:32:39,880 Yeah. 708 00:32:39,880 --> 00:32:40,880 Jeremy London's such a cool guy. 709 00:32:40,880 --> 00:32:41,880 I've known him for a few years. 710 00:32:41,880 --> 00:32:44,680 You know, only on Twitter. 711 00:32:44,680 --> 00:32:50,520 I never met him in real life, but we've talked back and forth and engaged in flame wars with 712 00:32:50,520 --> 00:32:51,520 weirdos. 713 00:32:51,520 --> 00:32:53,560 He's just a genuinely nice guy. 714 00:32:53,560 --> 00:32:54,560 Yeah. 715 00:32:54,560 --> 00:32:55,640 It was such a fun episode. 716 00:32:55,640 --> 00:32:56,640 I didn't expect him. 717 00:32:56,640 --> 00:33:01,480 I did first of all, I didn't realize he grew up on like just like a farm child. 718 00:33:01,480 --> 00:33:03,880 He had so many good stories about his youth. 719 00:33:03,880 --> 00:33:06,280 He's like, yeah, diving into the river with jeans on. 720 00:33:06,280 --> 00:33:08,240 I was like, dude, I fucking know exactly what you're talking about. 721 00:33:08,240 --> 00:33:09,240 That's small town. 722 00:33:09,240 --> 00:33:10,240 That's small town shit. 723 00:33:10,240 --> 00:33:12,040 Yeah, that's something you do. 724 00:33:12,040 --> 00:33:16,720 I always wore cutoffs, but I do recall swimming in denim, which was a bad idea. 725 00:33:16,720 --> 00:33:20,000 But yeah, he's just a genuinely nice guy. 726 00:33:20,000 --> 00:33:23,880 The next episode we've got coming out should be out Tuesday or Wednesday. 727 00:33:23,880 --> 00:33:26,560 It is going to be about the flat earth. 728 00:33:26,560 --> 00:33:31,320 So subscribe to the citizens guide to the super normal. 729 00:33:31,320 --> 00:33:33,880 I've been wanting to do a flat earth episode for so long. 730 00:33:33,880 --> 00:33:35,960 That's going to be real dumb. 731 00:33:35,960 --> 00:33:37,960 That's a good one. 732 00:33:37,960 --> 00:33:39,240 And that's actually what I was complaining about. 733 00:33:39,240 --> 00:33:44,120 I found all this information and there's just so many different facets to it. 734 00:33:44,120 --> 00:33:46,640 Well, there's different flat earths. 735 00:33:46,640 --> 00:33:50,960 There's flat earth and then there's like dome earth and then there's like concave earth 736 00:33:50,960 --> 00:33:54,120 and there's like pyramid earth, which is like another form of flat earth. 737 00:33:54,120 --> 00:33:55,120 That's a new one. 738 00:33:55,120 --> 00:33:56,120 I haven't heard that one. 739 00:33:56,120 --> 00:33:57,960 I went down that rabbit hole once. 740 00:33:57,960 --> 00:34:02,440 Never again, because I'm pretty sure I came out of it dumber than when I went into it. 741 00:34:02,440 --> 00:34:05,240 And I'm already pretty fucking stupid. 742 00:34:05,240 --> 00:34:09,200 For every hour you spend on flat earth, you lose 25 brain cells. 743 00:34:09,200 --> 00:34:18,800 So yeah, it's a fascinating like concept, especially in how wonderfully wrong everything 744 00:34:18,800 --> 00:34:19,800 is. 745 00:34:19,800 --> 00:34:21,920 So, yeah, the script is. 746 00:34:21,920 --> 00:34:24,120 But spoken with such authority that they think. 747 00:34:24,120 --> 00:34:25,940 Oh, so much conviction. 748 00:34:25,940 --> 00:34:28,080 And there's such smugness on their side. 749 00:34:28,080 --> 00:34:32,000 Like we figured it out because I mean, the ground is flat, therefore the earth is flat. 750 00:34:32,000 --> 00:34:37,720 It's like just because you don't understand stuff doesn't make it like I don't know how 751 00:34:37,720 --> 00:34:40,200 a wireless charger works. 752 00:34:40,200 --> 00:34:41,200 Yeah. 753 00:34:41,200 --> 00:34:45,500 You know, but I know that it does work just because I don't understand it doesn't mean 754 00:34:45,500 --> 00:34:46,500 it's fake. 755 00:34:46,500 --> 00:34:48,400 Well, did you watch that documentary? 756 00:34:48,400 --> 00:34:49,400 I hope you watched the documentary. 757 00:34:49,400 --> 00:34:52,040 All flat earth is on Netflix where it's all. 758 00:34:52,040 --> 00:34:54,600 No, I've watched a lot of flat earth documentaries. 759 00:34:54,600 --> 00:34:58,520 I followed them around and at the very end, they tried to do like that laser level thing 760 00:34:58,520 --> 00:35:02,880 where they're like across the Bob No Dell and they discovered it and it didn't line 761 00:35:02,880 --> 00:35:04,360 up the way they thought it was. 762 00:35:04,360 --> 00:35:06,120 Like they basically Jaren ism. 763 00:35:06,120 --> 00:35:08,760 So that's a that's a guy named Jaren ism. 764 00:35:08,760 --> 00:35:13,760 And then there's another guy named Bob No Dell who got like a extremely high powered 765 00:35:13,760 --> 00:35:14,760 laser gyroscope. 766 00:35:14,760 --> 00:35:16,760 Oh, and it went up in the air. 767 00:35:16,760 --> 00:35:18,240 And he's like. 768 00:35:18,240 --> 00:35:22,560 Well, I don't remember where where exactly they put it, but he was basically like if 769 00:35:22,560 --> 00:35:27,600 the earth was round and rotating, we'd get a 15 degree per hour drift. 770 00:35:27,600 --> 00:35:30,160 So when we turned on the level. 771 00:35:30,160 --> 00:35:34,400 We got 15 degree per hour drift. 772 00:35:34,400 --> 00:35:37,280 And so his explanation was that the level was wrong. 773 00:35:37,280 --> 00:35:40,720 OK, all right. 774 00:35:40,720 --> 00:35:41,800 It's so good. 775 00:35:41,800 --> 00:35:45,160 So I won't I won't pick on Bob too much because he did pass away recently. 776 00:35:45,160 --> 00:35:48,160 Oh, fuck that guy. 777 00:35:48,160 --> 00:35:49,160 I'll be nice. 778 00:35:49,160 --> 00:35:50,160 I'll be nice. 779 00:35:50,160 --> 00:35:53,960 I talk shit on the show all the time, it's fine. 780 00:35:53,960 --> 00:35:56,760 Well, I just feel bad that he died stupid. 781 00:35:56,760 --> 00:35:59,960 You know, I was the guy that tried to build his own rocket. 782 00:35:59,960 --> 00:36:01,520 No, no, no, no. 783 00:36:01,520 --> 00:36:03,000 That's another guy who died stupid. 784 00:36:03,000 --> 00:36:04,960 OK, there's so many. 785 00:36:04,960 --> 00:36:05,960 There's so many. 786 00:36:05,960 --> 00:36:07,600 There's a there was another guy that I watched. 787 00:36:07,600 --> 00:36:12,160 He was like a huge conspiracy theorist, like firmly believed in the Mandela effect, being 788 00:36:12,160 --> 00:36:18,480 like a government cyop, didn't believe in covid, thought it was it was a cyop. 789 00:36:18,480 --> 00:36:21,680 And then you guessed it, he died from covid. 790 00:36:21,680 --> 00:36:22,680 Yeah. 791 00:36:22,680 --> 00:36:23,680 Yeah. 792 00:36:23,680 --> 00:36:24,680 Hilarious. 793 00:36:24,680 --> 00:36:29,120 I mean, frankly, those are the people I don't feel bad for because you had the ability to 794 00:36:29,120 --> 00:36:30,340 take a vaccine. 795 00:36:30,340 --> 00:36:32,720 You had the ability to protect yourself from it. 796 00:36:32,720 --> 00:36:35,880 Oh, all the all the old you, which makes you an idiot. 797 00:36:35,880 --> 00:36:39,900 All the options were there and they probably that's like that's like holding a gun to your 798 00:36:39,900 --> 00:36:42,600 head and saying guns aren't real. 799 00:36:42,600 --> 00:36:43,600 Yeah. 800 00:36:43,600 --> 00:36:44,600 OK. 801 00:36:44,600 --> 00:36:49,680 Those are guns on her people, bullets are people and then they fucking shoot. 802 00:36:49,680 --> 00:36:50,680 Yeah. 803 00:36:50,680 --> 00:36:51,680 Yep. 804 00:36:51,680 --> 00:36:52,680 Yeah. 805 00:36:52,680 --> 00:36:53,680 So he gets the Herman Cain award. 806 00:36:53,680 --> 00:36:54,680 I don't feel bad for him. 807 00:36:54,680 --> 00:36:55,960 But yeah. 808 00:36:55,960 --> 00:37:00,040 So with all that misanthropy out of the way, everybody, I love you. 809 00:37:00,040 --> 00:37:01,840 Except for Danny, that was platonic. 810 00:37:01,840 --> 00:37:04,280 We're just friends. 811 00:37:04,280 --> 00:37:06,820 Don't don't sue me. 812 00:37:06,820 --> 00:37:10,160 Make sure to follow Sarge on all of the social media as you can find all those in the link 813 00:37:10,160 --> 00:37:11,160 in our Instagram. 814 00:37:11,160 --> 00:37:13,880 And if you want to follow our Instagram, it's at Crypto Cocktail. 815 00:37:13,880 --> 00:37:17,560 Follow us on TikTok Crypto Cocktail Party. 816 00:37:17,560 --> 00:37:18,560 We have a Patreon. 817 00:37:18,560 --> 00:37:19,560 It's five dollars a month. 818 00:37:19,560 --> 00:37:21,400 You get unedited video episodes. 819 00:37:21,400 --> 00:37:22,960 Still working on some stuff to add to it. 820 00:37:22,960 --> 00:37:24,120 It's five dollars a month. 821 00:37:24,120 --> 00:37:25,440 Yeah, it's five dollars a month. 822 00:37:25,440 --> 00:37:26,880 It might be a little bit. 823 00:37:26,880 --> 00:37:27,880 Maybe I'll just make it here. 824 00:37:27,880 --> 00:37:28,880 That's like three dollars a month. 825 00:37:28,880 --> 00:37:31,280 But you don't you know, just to support the show. 826 00:37:31,280 --> 00:37:32,560 If that's cheaper for you, I don't know. 827 00:37:32,560 --> 00:37:33,560 We'll figure it out. 828 00:37:33,560 --> 00:37:37,400 But with that, Sarge already said that he loves all of us, except for Danny. 829 00:37:37,400 --> 00:37:38,400 It's platonic. 830 00:37:38,400 --> 00:37:40,400 So worry about it. 831 00:37:40,400 --> 00:37:45,080 It's a lot of sexual love.