Hey everybody, welcome back to another episode of Cryptic Cocktail Party, a show where we
have a few drinks, share a few laughs, take a dive into the unknown. I'm your host Dave
and I'm joined by a man being hailed as a hometown hero for helping stop a raging cow
from trampling a bunch of children and the elderly. I believe there was a piece on you
on ABC about it. Sarge, the destroyer is gone, man.
Saved many lives that day. Oh man. Yeah, it's just a raging cow.
I still think that you should have just let it go and recorded it. You really fucked up
by not allowing the world to see just a bunch of toddlers getting hooved in the face.
The thing that that like that blew my mind the most is that, you know, the cow is trampling,
right? The kid who is responsible for watching this beast is nowhere to be found. And I can't
believe that my first instinct was to grab onto it. Not realizing that it's like a 500
pound beast of burden. Yeah. And I'm like, what is my fat ass going to do with this?
Like the minute I grabbed onto it, I was like, Oh, what do I do now? Yeah. I will say this.
Your instincts are better than mine because I would be like, Oh shit, the cows loose.
It sucks. And then just kind of like just to see what happened because I'm sure I think
it's the dad instinct. That's what it was. It was the dad instinct. Yeah. I don't have
those. I'll save you. Yeah. Yeah. No, you don't have them yet. I have them now because
I've got I've got three kids, but I like just I looked around and there was like almost
like a like a HUD display in my brain of just like I'm just clocking all the tiny children
in the path of this animal turned into fucking RoboCop for like a hot minute. You've basically
in that moment turned into like one of those moms that like when a bus flips, she fucking
lifts it off the child. Yeah. Except like their women are smart enough to know that
like the bus probably won't like headbutt you and trample you into the ground. Sure.
At any moment you could have just been your guts just literally stopped out. But I'm glad
that I'm glad that high schooler from the 4-H club was there to fucking come and take
the reins from you. Yeah. If only she had been paying attention when it started. Well,
she was too busy looking at the grid to see who won the bet of where it was going to shit
first. Yeah, I know. That's literally what they were doing to like I thought. Oh, man,
this is my fucking life. Like I'm going to get killed by a cow that was brought in to
shit on a particular square to raise money to be fair. The school, you know, they do.
It is a wild animal. They do say never turn your back to one. I don't know why I said
to be fair. I just but anyways. But how you doing, man? You're doing good. I'm good. Happy
Mother's Day, by the way, and all the moms out there. Oh, yeah. We're recording some
mothers. I still haven't called mine yet. Yeah. I stopped by yesterday and gave her
some flowers. So why don't you a good I always feel bad on Mother's Day because like I don't
know what to get my own mother. Yeah. Well, I know my mom wants and just to come down
to Philly to visit. So I think like the beginning of June, she's coming down. That's my that's
my mother's. I'm not paying for her to come down. She's just going to come and stay at
my house. Yeah. But you can like buy her dinner or something. I'm just trying to figure out
like what gift card says thank you for the excruciating labor pains you experienced to
bring me into the world. Bed Bath and Beyond. I think that's the one you go with. OK. Yeah.
All right. Early. Go go old school. Just straight up visa gift card. She can just spend it on
whatever she wants. Hey, mom, here's 50 bucks. Sorry. You pee when you cough now. Every sneeze
is a gamble, Mom. Sorry. All right. Get yourself some new underwear. All right. So last week,
last March, we covered Mel's Hole and we're going to continue covering Mel's Hole this
week and I'm going to be 100 percent honest with you. Probably going to end up covering
it next week as well. So there's a lot to cover in Mel's Hole. Mel's Hole runs deep.
Is there an echo in Mel's Hole? We already went over this. There's not. Oh, right. I
almost forgot. And then you just reminded me right now. Last week, kind of went off
the rails. We're going to try and rein it in this time. All right. I'm going to do my
best. All right. Nothing. I think I got it out of my system. OK. So for those listening
and for Sarge, just kind of last week we left off. Mel had just finished up his first interview
with Coast to Coast A.M. with Art Bell. And he did this interview while he was away from
his home in the nearby city of Ellensburg, Washington. Now upon returning to his property,
he was met with government officials and they tell him that there was like a plane crash,
quote unquote, and that it was best for him to just kind of move along. And Mel didn't
like that answer. So he pretty much said, fuck you to the guy in charge, to which that
man replied, oh, yeah, well, fuck you, too. This land is ours now. And if you don't get
out of here, we're going to frame you for a crime. I mean, nothing. Nothing says America
like the government saying, sorry, this is our land now. Yeah, it's pretty spot on. And
also the government. Yeah, we police our holes. This police is the government policing our
holes and the government saying this is our land now is that's quintessential America.
That's like this is a very topical story, frankly. It really is. That's what it is.
I like to do topical stories, but it's the subtext of the story is the topical part.
Put policing holes, stealing lands. But yeah, so the government said, fuck you, get out
of here. We're going to frame you for a crime. You could talk to the press if you want to
know it's going to believe you, to which Mel replied, yeah, the listeners across the coast
are going to believe me. They're all going to believe me about my hole. Yeah. I think
that pretty much sums up where we last left off, right? Yeah. OK. Yeah, I think so. So
a few days after Mel was kicked off of his property and the government was probing around
his hole, Art Bell finally got in touch with Mel for an update. Now, Mel told Art in the
audience pretty much everything up to the point that we had discussed. He went home,
the government being there, the flimsy story of a plane crash, all that jazz. He then went
on to say he had spoken to a neighbor about what was going on. And the neighbor told him
that while he was gone, the neighbor had seen a dark beam shooting out of the hole and into
the sky. And that beam was darker than anything he had ever seen in his life. Like think think
of like the blackest thing you could think of. Blacker than that. You know, that paint
they made that like light doesn't escape from. That's what I picture. Yeah. Yeah. I think
of like a matte black car. Yeah. Like like just my brain is very simple. Yeah. Yeah.
We'll go with a matte black car. Sure. So here's here's my question. When did he did
it? When did the beam emit? Was it like an evening beam? Because how would he have seen
it? It was black. It went into the sky. So I'm assuming it was during the day. It was
at night. You wouldn't be able to see it unless it was like one of those things like, you
know, when people say they see shadow people and the shadow people are darker than the
shadows. OK. But if you but also a beam to me is light. I don't know what a black. Yeah,
that's what I'm saying. Like that's why I'm so confused. I don't know. It's a column of
darkness. It's paranormal, dude. Who the fuck knows? Yeah. No, that's true. I should I shouldn't
be pushing. Well, you know how like in The Mandalorian when the dark saber kind of glows
anyway. Yeah, I think that that'll be how I think about it. Like the edges lit, but
not the actual right. But then. If the edge was lit, it would just look darker than it
actually is on the inside, I feel like. I don't know. I feel like maybe that could be
a two. Yeah, we're really digging deep in the mills hole here. We should. I think it
was during the day. It was not specified in the call. Now, another neighbor told him that
years ago, the hole used to be surrounded by stone columns. Think like Stonehenge, both
out like the cross. It's just like giant stone pillars. That's the end of that. That's what
America's missing is we really do need more hinges. Well, we there is a there is an American
Stonehenge. I think it's in New Hampshire, actually. Yeah, we just have one, though.
We need like a couple. Oh, we need like several. I got several hinges, especially now that
Georgia guide stones have been destroyed. We just need more tall stones that we can
carve penises into. I mean, we can. That's pretty much every every bathroom. We can do
that if you want. Don't stop. Mel's hole into a into a truck stop. Is that is that a glory
hole reference? Make of it what you will. Gotcha. Now, callers called in to talk to
Mel and Art Bell during this conversation and called in with like their own theories
and topics of discussion. Some thought that maybe the hole was located on a ley line.
Now, for those of you listening who may not know what ley lines are, they're pretty much
just like straight lines connecting different historical structures, prehistoric sites and
prominent landmarks that some say are like energy lines or they hold some sort of mystical
power or they're connected by aliens or something. I don't really know. I don't put a lot of
stock in ley lines, but it's like the fucking pyramids of Giza or in a straight line with
like Stonehenge. It's like that kind of shit. I don't really know. I mean, when you think
about it, though, you could pretty much draw a straight line between any two points. I
mean, it's technically a ley line between my house and, you know, the Empire State Building.
That doesn't mean. Yeah. But I mean, I don't think I think it actually, you know what?
I did look up a map of ley lines and you're right. They're just kind of like straight
lines. You can make a straight line. Well, if it's two points, it's going to be a straight
line. I think I don't I don't fuck with ley lines because a lot of what's weird is that
a lot of because it's silly. Yeah. But a lot of the cryptid stories and shit like that,
that we do cover, there's always someone somewhere being like, well, you didn't mention that
it was on a lay. It's like the Dover Demon episode I did. Yeah. Like when I first started
the show, I got someone was like, we didn't mention the fact that the Dover Demon was
crawling along a ley line. And I was like, a ley line from where in fucking Dover, Massachusetts,
is there a late like what is it connecting to? Nothing like go fuck yourself. But anyways,
I want to know what kind of weird shit happens in the ley line between Art Bell's house and
like George Norris house. Let's be honest. They're they were roommates. It's a very
short ley line, but a ley line. It's just ghostly cockroaches and like mice with a third
eye. Well, anyway, so some callers thought that if it was on a ley line, there might
be like a portal to another dimension or even like a portal through time. That's why even
after years of just tossing trash and old snow tires into it, everything just disappeared.
And pretty much saying that like somewhere in another time or place, there's just like
a pile of like old dishwashers and dead dogs just like piling up. You can fit anything
in Mel's hole if you're brave enough. But it but it means like, like a time displacement
kind of kind of makes sense. Because remember we talked about the guy threw his dead dog
down there and then it showed back up. We don't know if it was like the same dead dog
because it didn't give that guy the time of day at all. But it would have to be right.
Sometimes dogs just look alike. Maybe, you know, if he threw like a golden golden retriever
down there and like another golden retriever popped back up like he's going to be like,
hey, look, it's Steve. Now that's, you know, somebody else's dog, bro. True. Every every
Jack Russell, I have a Jack Russell and every Jack Russell I've ever seen looks exactly
like my Jack. Yeah. Like they all look like wishbone from that old TV show. If anyone
listening, anyone listening under the age of 33, there you might get that reference.
Other people thought that this hole could be an entrance to hollow earth, which if you
want to know more about hollow earth, you can check out a series I did with my buddy
Luke spoiler. Hollow Earth theory is 100 percent for sure. Nazi propaganda. There's no way
it's not. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not. Hitler literally sent Nazis to go check out what
he thought to be an opening of the hollow earth. Yeah. In hollow earth, they quote unquote
in hollow earth, they fly these flying saucers. The flying saucers are called flugel rads
and there's swastikas on them. And I found out that the flugel rad is actually a discarded
Nazi project of them trying to make UFOs. So yes, take with that what you will. Others
think that the portal might be aliens. So in the end, all these callers calling in to talk
to Mel, they didn't really give him anything really useful. But to be fair to everyone,
like the Pacific Northwest is like a hotbed for some really weird ass shit. So who knows?
Like it is like the home of like Bigfoot and like a lot of different alien and UFO encounters.
But before Mel disconnects one caller and probably the most rational of the bunch tells
him that calling into coast to coast talking about this portal on his property and at such
great lengths is probably a really bad idea because the government is for sure listening
now. If they weren't before, they definitely are now. Oh, yeah. Now they're a part of it.
Yeah. And Mel pretty much is like, you know what? Yeah, that's that's a really good point.
And then and then agrees to come back on for an update. But good idea. I'll be back tomorrow
for more. But when the time came for Mel to come back on the show, Mel was nowhere to
be found. He was a no call no show. He just fucking vanished. Oh, no. What do you what
I want to know? Because I'm going to tell you what happened to him. But I want you to
give me your theory on what you think. I mean, my theory is my theory is he fell into his
own hole. He divided by zero.
I mean, OK, all right. It's a plausible theory, Sarge. I'll give you that. But remember, it's
like a black hole. He got sucked in, you know, and then it became like an infinity loop.
OK. Got him. Did you have any? All right. No, you did not. You did not get sucked into
his own hole for infinity. It was it was an Oroboro situation. Just eating his own tail.
So Mel would actually go radio silent for close to three years before he resurfaced
and made another appearance on Coast to Coast. Now on this shit on this call, he would tell
Art in the audience that he was offered three million dollars a year to lease out his property
to persons unknown, the government. But as part of the lease agreement, he was forced
to sign an NDA and he had to leave the country and never return, which I mean, yeah, I would
I would take that deal. Fuck it. Like, why not? Yeah. Well, I mean, it's millions of
dollars. I mean, I'll fucking abandon my house for one hundred thousand. So that works. Yeah.
But obviously he broke that arrangement. Mel says that after taking it naturally, after
taking the deal, he moved to Australia for two years, but started getting homesick. He
missed his family. He's his friends. He probably also missed being in a country where nature
wasn't actively trying to kill you for like twenty four seven, which was a bad idea since
he was explicitly warned when signing this lease agreement to not do this. I guess when
Mel first made it back to the States, he had gotten in touch with Art and was supposed
to come on the show sooner. But like last time was a no show. Apparently what had happened
was was that Mel was on a bus going to visit a relative. I think it was a nephew. But while
he was on the bus, some sort of fight or altercation, something something happened on the bus where
it had to pull over and the police were called. He remembers being questioned, put on a different
bus and then waking up 12 days later in an alley in San Francisco. His wallet and keys
are missing. He has tape marks and a hole in his arm as if he had been placed on an
I.V. and his back teeth were missing. All right. Can we just take a look? I feel like
this is just kind of a rough night. I mean, I've had those. Yeah. Yeah. You have like
a chemical time machine where you just had enough substances where you wake up a couple
days later and you're like in an alley where I was. We've all woken up. Let's not pretend
we haven't all woken up in an alley with a needle mark in our eyes and our back teeth.
I don't I want to know why, because like there's no reason for this. I don't understand the
back teeth thing. So the government was presumed that the government did this. The government
was nice enough to remove his wisdom teeth for him, right? And then give him a vacation
to San Francisco. True. I went to I went to San Francisco like two years, two years ago
maybe. I don't know. But it was it was lovely. It was a great time. You got to make sure
you don't leave anything in your car because they'll smash out your windows and steal it.
Apparently, it's a huge thing in San Francisco. Yeah. And you also want to make sure that
you don't wear sandals because there's poop on the ground everywhere. See, I didn't see
any poop, but I did get to go to the Redwood Forest where they shot Return of the Jedi.
Oh, awesome. I don't understand the teeth thing, though. I don't think like I don't
know if it's like a maybe he's thinking like weird conspiracy show, like maybe he had fucking
fillings back there and maybe he thought like they took about so he can get radio frequencies.
I really don't. I don't understand if this is a hoax, like why that part? It makes no
sense to me. I mean, think about it this way, though, like you're you're in the government,
right? And you were trying to make somebody feel as crazy as possible. There's few things
you could do that are weirder than taking out someone's fucking back teeth. Yeah, but
this is like that's like a weird like gang stalking kind of maybe not gang. Yeah, that's
what I'm saying, though, is like it's like no one's going to be like, oh, the government
took your teeth. It's like gaslighting and gang stalking all in one. It's like exactly.
Exactly. It's gas in East Germany. The Stasiants East Germany, the secret police back when
East Germany was a communist proxy owned by Russia and whatever. Thank you. I used to
go into people's houses. Thank you. Thank you, David. But they used to go into your
house and move shit around. And their idea was to kind of like subtly fuck with you,
to make you think you've gone crazy. That's amazing. And so maybe that's what they're
doing. So he's he's got this legitimate weird shit in his backyard. The government wants
to test it. He obviously can't be trusted because he violated his NDA. So the next step
is like, all right, well, you know, let's let's knock him out for 12, 12 days. So everybody
thinks he's drunk. We'll drop him off in San Francisco. So people think he's probably hanging
out with hippies doing psychedelics. And we'll just take his back teeth. And he's going to
be like, they took my back teeth. And I was going to be all right. All right, Mel, you're
fucking crazy. Just running, running after random people on the streets of San Francisco.
The government took my teeth, which I mean, not going to lie, that is something that I
did like I borderline experienced that one in San Francisco. Just like the government
stole my teeth. Yeah, sure they did. But cool. Exactly. This is what I'm saying. Who knows
how many of the crazy, like homeless people on the streets of San Francisco, not to disparage
homeless people, I know that they are right with like mentally ill people that are just
disparaged. But how many of them might be victims like Mel of the government stealing
their teeth? Yeah. And that's why they're on their soapbox on the corner. Yeah, totally
reasonable, normal guys. Yeah. They stumbled upon a large sinkhole in their backyard that
the government took interest in. And so they're like, all right, now we're going to take your
teeth. I woke up with tracks in my arms and now that my teeth are gone. I don't know why
I did like a Bing Crosby impression. The government took my teeth. Come on, David Bowie, let's
write a song about it. Sorry, I got Bing Crosby Christmas specials stuck in my head. That was
good. Thank you. So after finding out that after waking up in the alley, teeth gone,
IV in his arm or was in his arm. He also found out somehow that there's legal action being
levied against him for illegal construction on his property that he wasn't responsible
for power lines, paved roads. I think he said like a septic system was put in. And these
are all things that the government had put in while he was away for the sorry, quote
unquote government put in while he was away for those two years. He also finds that his
bank account has been completely drained. So basically the government has taken everything
from this man, like his home, his life, teeth. No, during this call and mind you, it's been
three years since this dude has been heard from some of the coast to coast, more avid
listeners call in and are like, dude, this is all a hoax, but that didn't deter Mr. Bell,
who is a mass. He didn't give a fuck if it was a hoax or not. He's a, we talked about
this last time, he's a showman. He, he knows what he's doing. So he let Mel continue talking
about this on the show. He even told Mel during this call that a reporter and a TV crew went
up to the area where the hole supposedly was. And while they didn't find the hole, they
did find evidence of a military presence and large machinery coming and going from the
area. It was also noted that a no fly zone had been extended to cover the area and that
on the website, Tara server, which was basically think like Google earth before there was Google
earth showed the entire area had been blacked out. And that part is actually true. The area
where Mel's hole was supposedly located was actually blacked out on this mapping site.
Now that is amazing. So, but some people who learned about this information about the Tara
server site said, well, maybe Mel stumbled across this site and he noticed this area
and he called up creating this like fantastical story about a portal on his property, blah,
blah, blah. And that, you know, that's possible. And it sounds reasonable. It's like a reasonable
skepticism that someone would have. The only problem with this theory is that the Tara
server site had been launched six months after Mel had made his first call to coast to coast.
So fuck you, rational thinkers, eat a dick. Yeah. Get out of here. Skeptics, you fucking
clowns, NASA shills. Now, Art and Mel continue talking about what Mel had been up to for
the last year. So he'd been in Australia for two years, but what about the year in between,
you know, returning and calling in to talk to our bell? Well, Mel was contacted by a
Native American tribe in Nevada. They wanted to know if he, if he would be interested in
helping them research another bottomless pit. And it's with that second hole that we will
pick up with part three of Mel's hole. God damn it. I told you so many holes. So many
holes. It's going to be good. I'm excited. This is, yeah, this is a whole thing. I told
you there's Mel's hole runs deep, bud. It does run deep. This is a whole thing. Fascinating.
It is a whole thing. Yeah. I'm very surprised about the, about the, the second, the second
one on Native American land. I want to know what's in there. Dude. Like we got to find
it. We got it. We need drones. Can I, can I, you need a camera on a rope? Can I give
you a hint about what's about to, I'll, I'll not a hint, but I will give you a spoiler
for next week's episode. Alien seal pup. That's all I'm going to say. Oh shit. This is something
comes up from the hole. I'm telling you right now, I have, I'm so I don't do, I'm not going
to do any research on this cause I don't want any spoilers. Um, but it is going to be so
hard not to Google this. Yeah. Cause like this is, this is fun. Like this is a fun conspiracy.
It's a good one. Yeah. And the fact is it's like, it's harmless. It's harmless regardless
of the other than Mel's teeth. It's like a, like no one's, no one's going to lose their
family because they're fascinated with a hole. True. And as far as I know, this, this is
doesn't get anti-semitic. Most conspiracy theories. They really do. They always, it
always comes back. It circles back. It's either, it's either anti-semitic. There's blood, li,
something. But as far as I know, this is a, it's just a, it's harmless. It's good. It's
fun. No one's getting hurt except for Mel. Yeah. Apparently I always ask. I, so my best
friend in the world, I've known him since we were five years old. He's Jewish. Um, and
we've always been close and there, every time I hear a new Jewish conspiracy theory, I'm
always like, bro, what are you guys doing? What are you planning? Like, yeah, like I,
I know you run Hollywood. Why don't I have a job? Like you can't call somebody for me.
You do the same thing I do to, so my boss at work, he's a Freemason. And I am also a
Freemason, but I always, always whenever he's like, when he was like, Oh, I got to leave
work early. I got to head down to the fucking whatever in center city. I'm like, Oh, so
you go to your Illuminati meeting? Like where? That's the funniest thing is like, I'm a,
so I'm also a Freemason. Um, there was actually a Freemason youth group. It's still around
and I was in the youth group first. And then just before I joined the military, I joined
the Freemasons and, um, I'm nothing special. I'm just a third degree Mason. My brother
is a 32nd degree Mason. Um, and I gotta be honest, he knows what's going on under Dulce
air base, right? Yeah. He knows all the shit, right? Denver airport, all that kind of stuff.
Got it. I'm just a stooge. He's, he's the man with the plan. Um, but that's the, the
thing I was most disappointed about when I started going to meetings is it's just a bunch
of dudes drinking scotch and bitching about their kids. That's all we do. That's what
he keeps telling me. He's like, no, just literally just a bunch of dudes. It's one of us. One
of them pitches like a bad business idea. One of them goes, I'll give you a thousand
dollars and then, yeah, and then that's it. All right. How do I become a basic? Because
I will gladly, I have so many bad business ideas that I'll gladly get funded by just
a dude. Yeah. And then like periodically we go to like a homeless shelter and give out
food. Yeah. The sinister plan of feeding the homeless. Where are we at right now? We're
part two Mel's hole. Where are we at? What are you like? What are your feelings on this
so far? Like how you were like, give me, give me, I genuinely want, I genuinely want to
like get a GoPro, tie a rope to it and just, just keep buying rope until I can't find any
more rope on the planet earth. I just want to keep sending rope down there with like
extension cord after extension cord to keep that GoPro going until we hit the bottom and
I find out what's down there. I mean, to this day, Mel's hole has never been discovered.
So we don't know. We don't even know where Mel's hole is other than Pacific Northwest.
Yeah. It's, it's, we know it's outside of Ellensburg, Washington. Okay. So what we need
to do is go on Google earth, find like the blacked out spot. Google earth has to be like,
bingo, there it is. So I can't tell you, I can't tell you. We're gonna wait for episode
three. I'll wait. I'll wait. I'll wait. Do you have any theories about how this is going
to end? I want to, cause next week will be the end of Mel's hole. I think Mel disappears.
Mel disappears. You think he's just gone? Yeah. I just, I just think he's just gone.
He's in the wind. Do you think it's like a hoax thing or do you think, do you think it's
like a grifter thing? Cause I don't think he's made any money. Like he's not something
like Mel's hole merch. You know what I mean? I mean, how much money really is there in,
I've got a hole in the ground. It's not like you can put that on a t-shirt. I mean, you
could, but you'd have to sell it at like a books and you know, one of those adult bookstores.
Mar, sorry. We have, we, there's been many quotes from the past two episodes that I think
we could have like a whole merch line of Mel's holes merch. What I want to do is I would
like to make one of those like old timey looking postcards like advertising come gaze into
the glory of Mel's hole. I was, that's what I did. I literally was just thinking in my
head, a great t-shirt would be like, like a, like one of those like vintage national parks
t-shirts. Yes. That's what I'm talking about. That's exactly what I'm talking about. Yeah.
Oh shit. All right. Well, Sarge, sorry to keep you waiting. I'm sorry to keep you like
in. I keep, you know, I'm okay with it. I like the suspense. This is really, it's the
only way to keep you as, as my, my consistent go host is that I need you to be like, well
fuck now I need to know what, how it ends. Yeah. The, it's the anxiety I'm ready for
it. Let's go. All right. Is there anything you want to plug? Oh, by the way, uh, citizens
guide to the super normal new episode. So good. So what, twists and turns that I was
not expecting, I'm not going to spoil it. I almost spoiled it in the comment on your
tech talk and then I had to delete it and redo it. Those twists and turns. I gotta say
when I do my podcast, it, it didn't, it started out as like me just, I get annoyed by like
crazy misinformation. Um, and so it started out is that, but, but I want also want like
some wonder there are some things that like, I get really excited about. I'm like, this
is fucking cool. I can't believe it actually exists. And then I start researching it for
the podcast and inevitably every goddamn time I find something I'm like, Oh, it's a lie.
Great. Awesome. But more bullshit, but you're talking to a guy who researches possible fictional
creatures. That's true. That's true. Spare time for funsies. Whatever you're feeling.
I know I can relate. It's heartbreaking sometimes. Yeah. Yeah. There's been a bunch of those,
but yeah, no, the, the, the show's awesome. Thank you. Episodes. We're going to, we're
going to get, um, we've got another one we're going to record tonight. I think we're going
to probably drop, uh, either Tuesdays or Wednesdays, probably Wednesdays, just to give, uh, uh,
my producer Maynard, who does pretty much all the work other than the script writing,
uh, to give him some time. But, uh, yeah, uh, we're excited about this next one coming
up. It's going to be a big one. I don't want to, I can't give out any spoilers because
there's supposed to be a surprise. Um, and if there isn't a surprise, it'll still be
good. You know, the, the, the woman on the show, that's Maynard's wife, right? Yeah.
That's Laura. Uh, she's going to be off tonight cause it's mother's day. So we want to make
sure we give her a time away from her, her adult children as well. She is, she is, she's
so she keeps me honest. She's like, she's so, she is not mesmerized by my bullshit in
any way. I will say this Maynard has the same exact energy on your show as he did when you,
both of you were a guest on, uh, the Massachusetts. Yeah. He is my next door neighbor. It's like
dry and like to the point, but like, it's funny. It's good. It's a good show. One of
my favorite things about him is that he will randomly send me, um, weird mashups online,
uh, from this guy named DJ Cumberbund. Yes, I know DJ Cumberbund. I fucking love weird
mashups. And he sends them to me all the time. He's, Maynard is very, very well versed in
music and so he, uh, he's always got these great takes. Like he posted a meme today about,
uh, the band fish. Oh, the, uh, I heard a good fish.
There's like no disrespect to fish, but there is no good fish. So, uh, there is one. All
right. All right. Uh, there's good, there's good ice cream based on fish, but that's about
it. Um, you can find me on all the socials. Um, just Google Saja destroyer. It sounds
so arrogant to say that, but it, I just happened to have a very weird name that no one else
uses. So you, and I was a prolific tweeter for awhile. So, but also I did add all of
your socials onto the link tree in the right. Yeah. Crypto cocktail bio on Instagram. So
if you just hit that, you could find all of this stuff. Uh, where can they find citizens
guide? I know. So citizens guide to the super normal is on everything. I tend to listen
on Spotify where hosted off of sound cloud. We're like sound cloud rappers only there's
no music involved and less facial. Yeah. No facial tattoos. I have no intention of doing
that. Um, but yeah, so you could find this on, on a Spotify. We're probably on iTunes.
I have to imagine or apple or whatever the fuck they're calling it now. Um, yeah. So
check it out. Uh, we've got like 45 episodes out. So hopefully there's something there
to tickle your fancy in your fancy. Um, yeah. Yeah. Go listen to a show. That's good. I'll,
I'll, uh, if I can, I'll find a bunch of different places and I'll put a links to where you can
listen to it on our, on the link tree and crypto cocktail. You know, I have to imagine,
I have to imagine there's like some companion episodes. We've probably covered one or two
of the same topics. Oh, I'm a hundred percent sure. I haven't delved through the entire
back catalog, but I'm sure there's something. Yeah. You'll be able to tell the episodes
that I edited versus the ones that Maynard edited because the sound quality is much better
when he does it. Oh dude, he's a fucking dude. The sound when he does it. He's so good. He's
so good. He knows his stuff. Yeah. All right. Uh, thank you for listening to all this. Thank
you for delving into Mel's hole with us. And I'm very much looking forward to, to really
digging into Mel's hole next week. Yeah. It'll be, uh, it'll be the conclusion hopefully.
I mean, who knows? I'm going to bring a headlamp and some lube and we're just going to get
in there. All right. If you want to slip and slide, if you want to follow us on Instagram,
follow us at a crypto cocktail, uh, follow some Tik Tok, create the cop to cryptid cocktail
party. Uh, we do have a patron. It's $5 a month. You can find, uh, unedited video versions
of the podcast on there. Uh, and we'll get some other things going. I do want to start
a thing where I read, uh, cryptid erotic fan fiction and try not to laugh. I think that
'd be really good. And I think what you need is for me to do that because what you don't
know about me, Dave, is that I was, uh, uh, a well studied theater student for many years
before I came to my senses and joined the military. So, um, I feel like both of those
are like two very different fields, but there's a convergence. Um, well, they do call it the,
uh, they don't, they call like the war, like war theaters, right? It's like the theater,
the theater of war. Yeah. So I just gave up one theater for another, but yeah, I would
love that. What we should do is we should each pick a cryptid erotic fan fiction and
then, and then we'll read them to each other and maybe we'll bring on a guest that is completely
not expecting what we're about to do and make them sit through it. They just sit through
it. But also whoever's reading it, the other two people have to try not to laugh. It will
make a game out of it somehow. Oh, you'll have to like put water in your mouth. Yeah.
I could spit all over my phones. Go fuck. Yeah. I'll just cover my microphone in, in,
uh, pit plastic. Yeah. And then, uh, the other thing that I want to start doing is, uh, we
did, uh, AI creepy pastas for a while. Those were pretty fun. We're going to bring those
back. It'll be good anyways. Uh, so yes, follow us. Sorry. Do you want to say bye to everyone?
I love you. Bye.