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Hey everybody, welcome back to another episode of Cryptic Cocktail Party, a show where we

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have a few drinks, share a few laughs, take a dive into the unknown. I'm your host Dave

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and I'm joined by a man being hailed as a hometown hero for helping stop a raging cow

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from trampling a bunch of children and the elderly. I believe there was a piece on you

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on ABC about it. Sarge, the destroyer is gone, man.

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Saved many lives that day. Oh man. Yeah, it's just a raging cow.

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I still think that you should have just let it go and recorded it. You really fucked up

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by not allowing the world to see just a bunch of toddlers getting hooved in the face.

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The thing that that like that blew my mind the most is that, you know, the cow is trampling,

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right? The kid who is responsible for watching this beast is nowhere to be found. And I can't

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believe that my first instinct was to grab onto it. Not realizing that it's like a 500

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pound beast of burden. Yeah. And I'm like, what is my fat ass going to do with this?

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Like the minute I grabbed onto it, I was like, Oh, what do I do now? Yeah. I will say this.

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Your instincts are better than mine because I would be like, Oh shit, the cows loose.

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It sucks. And then just kind of like just to see what happened because I'm sure I think

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it's the dad instinct. That's what it was. It was the dad instinct. Yeah. I don't have

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those. I'll save you. Yeah. Yeah. No, you don't have them yet. I have them now because

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I've got I've got three kids, but I like just I looked around and there was like almost

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like a like a HUD display in my brain of just like I'm just clocking all the tiny children

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in the path of this animal turned into fucking RoboCop for like a hot minute. You've basically

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in that moment turned into like one of those moms that like when a bus flips, she fucking

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lifts it off the child. Yeah. Except like their women are smart enough to know that

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like the bus probably won't like headbutt you and trample you into the ground. Sure.

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At any moment you could have just been your guts just literally stopped out. But I'm glad

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that I'm glad that high schooler from the 4-H club was there to fucking come and take

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the reins from you. Yeah. If only she had been paying attention when it started. Well,

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she was too busy looking at the grid to see who won the bet of where it was going to shit

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first. Yeah, I know. That's literally what they were doing to like I thought. Oh, man,

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this is my fucking life. Like I'm going to get killed by a cow that was brought in to

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shit on a particular square to raise money to be fair. The school, you know, they do.

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It is a wild animal. They do say never turn your back to one. I don't know why I said

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to be fair. I just but anyways. But how you doing, man? You're doing good. I'm good. Happy

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Mother's Day, by the way, and all the moms out there. Oh, yeah. We're recording some

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mothers. I still haven't called mine yet. Yeah. I stopped by yesterday and gave her

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some flowers. So why don't you a good I always feel bad on Mother's Day because like I don't

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know what to get my own mother. Yeah. Well, I know my mom wants and just to come down

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to Philly to visit. So I think like the beginning of June, she's coming down. That's my that's

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my mother's. I'm not paying for her to come down. She's just going to come and stay at

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my house. Yeah. But you can like buy her dinner or something. I'm just trying to figure out

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like what gift card says thank you for the excruciating labor pains you experienced to

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bring me into the world. Bed Bath and Beyond. I think that's the one you go with. OK. Yeah.

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All right. Early. Go go old school. Just straight up visa gift card. She can just spend it on

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whatever she wants. Hey, mom, here's 50 bucks. Sorry. You pee when you cough now. Every sneeze

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is a gamble, Mom. Sorry. All right. Get yourself some new underwear. All right. So last week,

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last March, we covered Mel's Hole and we're going to continue covering Mel's Hole this

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week and I'm going to be 100 percent honest with you. Probably going to end up covering

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it next week as well. So there's a lot to cover in Mel's Hole. Mel's Hole runs deep.

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Is there an echo in Mel's Hole? We already went over this. There's not. Oh, right. I

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almost forgot. And then you just reminded me right now. Last week, kind of went off

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the rails. We're going to try and rein it in this time. All right. I'm going to do my

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best. All right. Nothing. I think I got it out of my system. OK. So for those listening

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and for Sarge, just kind of last week we left off. Mel had just finished up his first interview

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with Coast to Coast A.M. with Art Bell. And he did this interview while he was away from

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his home in the nearby city of Ellensburg, Washington. Now upon returning to his property,

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he was met with government officials and they tell him that there was like a plane crash,

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quote unquote, and that it was best for him to just kind of move along. And Mel didn't

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like that answer. So he pretty much said, fuck you to the guy in charge, to which that

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man replied, oh, yeah, well, fuck you, too. This land is ours now. And if you don't get

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out of here, we're going to frame you for a crime. I mean, nothing. Nothing says America

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like the government saying, sorry, this is our land now. Yeah, it's pretty spot on. And

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also the government. Yeah, we police our holes. This police is the government policing our

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holes and the government saying this is our land now is that's quintessential America.

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That's like this is a very topical story, frankly. It really is. That's what it is.

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I like to do topical stories, but it's the subtext of the story is the topical part.

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Put policing holes, stealing lands. But yeah, so the government said, fuck you, get out

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of here. We're going to frame you for a crime. You could talk to the press if you want to

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know it's going to believe you, to which Mel replied, yeah, the listeners across the coast

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are going to believe me. They're all going to believe me about my hole. Yeah. I think

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that pretty much sums up where we last left off, right? Yeah. OK. Yeah, I think so. So

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a few days after Mel was kicked off of his property and the government was probing around

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his hole, Art Bell finally got in touch with Mel for an update. Now, Mel told Art in the

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audience pretty much everything up to the point that we had discussed. He went home,

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the government being there, the flimsy story of a plane crash, all that jazz. He then went

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on to say he had spoken to a neighbor about what was going on. And the neighbor told him

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that while he was gone, the neighbor had seen a dark beam shooting out of the hole and into

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the sky. And that beam was darker than anything he had ever seen in his life. Like think think

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of like the blackest thing you could think of. Blacker than that. You know, that paint

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they made that like light doesn't escape from. That's what I picture. Yeah. Yeah. I think

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of like a matte black car. Yeah. Like like just my brain is very simple. Yeah. Yeah.

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We'll go with a matte black car. Sure. So here's here's my question. When did he did

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it? When did the beam emit? Was it like an evening beam? Because how would he have seen

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it? It was black. It went into the sky. So I'm assuming it was during the day. It was

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at night. You wouldn't be able to see it unless it was like one of those things like, you

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know, when people say they see shadow people and the shadow people are darker than the

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shadows. OK. But if you but also a beam to me is light. I don't know what a black. Yeah,

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that's what I'm saying. Like that's why I'm so confused. I don't know. It's a column of

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darkness. It's paranormal, dude. Who the fuck knows? Yeah. No, that's true. I should I shouldn't

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be pushing. Well, you know how like in The Mandalorian when the dark saber kind of glows

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anyway. Yeah, I think that that'll be how I think about it. Like the edges lit, but

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not the actual right. But then. If the edge was lit, it would just look darker than it

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actually is on the inside, I feel like. I don't know. I feel like maybe that could be

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a two. Yeah, we're really digging deep in the mills hole here. We should. I think it

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was during the day. It was not specified in the call. Now, another neighbor told him that

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years ago, the hole used to be surrounded by stone columns. Think like Stonehenge, both

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out like the cross. It's just like giant stone pillars. That's the end of that. That's what

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America's missing is we really do need more hinges. Well, we there is a there is an American

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Stonehenge. I think it's in New Hampshire, actually. Yeah, we just have one, though.

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We need like a couple. Oh, we need like several. I got several hinges, especially now that

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Georgia guide stones have been destroyed. We just need more tall stones that we can

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carve penises into. I mean, we can. That's pretty much every every bathroom. We can do

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that if you want. Don't stop. Mel's hole into a into a truck stop. Is that is that a glory

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hole reference? Make of it what you will. Gotcha. Now, callers called in to talk to

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Mel and Art Bell during this conversation and called in with like their own theories

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and topics of discussion. Some thought that maybe the hole was located on a ley line.

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Now, for those of you listening who may not know what ley lines are, they're pretty much

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just like straight lines connecting different historical structures, prehistoric sites and

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prominent landmarks that some say are like energy lines or they hold some sort of mystical

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power or they're connected by aliens or something. I don't really know. I don't put a lot of

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stock in ley lines, but it's like the fucking pyramids of Giza or in a straight line with

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like Stonehenge. It's like that kind of shit. I don't really know. I mean, when you think

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about it, though, you could pretty much draw a straight line between any two points. I

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mean, it's technically a ley line between my house and, you know, the Empire State Building.

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That doesn't mean. Yeah. But I mean, I don't think I think it actually, you know what?

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I did look up a map of ley lines and you're right. They're just kind of like straight

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lines. You can make a straight line. Well, if it's two points, it's going to be a straight

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line. I think I don't I don't fuck with ley lines because a lot of what's weird is that

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a lot of because it's silly. Yeah. But a lot of the cryptid stories and shit like that,

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that we do cover, there's always someone somewhere being like, well, you didn't mention that

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it was on a lay. It's like the Dover Demon episode I did. Yeah. Like when I first started

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the show, I got someone was like, we didn't mention the fact that the Dover Demon was

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crawling along a ley line. And I was like, a ley line from where in fucking Dover, Massachusetts,

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is there a late like what is it connecting to? Nothing like go fuck yourself. But anyways,

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I want to know what kind of weird shit happens in the ley line between Art Bell's house and

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like George Norris house. Let's be honest. They're they were roommates. It's a very

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short ley line, but a ley line. It's just ghostly cockroaches and like mice with a third

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eye. Well, anyway, so some callers thought that if it was on a ley line, there might

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be like a portal to another dimension or even like a portal through time. That's why even

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after years of just tossing trash and old snow tires into it, everything just disappeared.

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And pretty much saying that like somewhere in another time or place, there's just like

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a pile of like old dishwashers and dead dogs just like piling up. You can fit anything

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in Mel's hole if you're brave enough. But it but it means like, like a time displacement

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kind of kind of makes sense. Because remember we talked about the guy threw his dead dog

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down there and then it showed back up. We don't know if it was like the same dead dog

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because it didn't give that guy the time of day at all. But it would have to be right.

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Sometimes dogs just look alike. Maybe, you know, if he threw like a golden golden retriever

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down there and like another golden retriever popped back up like he's going to be like,

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hey, look, it's Steve. Now that's, you know, somebody else's dog, bro. True. Every every

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Jack Russell, I have a Jack Russell and every Jack Russell I've ever seen looks exactly

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like my Jack. Yeah. Like they all look like wishbone from that old TV show. If anyone

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listening, anyone listening under the age of 33, there you might get that reference.

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Other people thought that this hole could be an entrance to hollow earth, which if you

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want to know more about hollow earth, you can check out a series I did with my buddy

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Luke spoiler. Hollow Earth theory is 100 percent for sure. Nazi propaganda. There's no way

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it's not. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not. Hitler literally sent Nazis to go check out what

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he thought to be an opening of the hollow earth. Yeah. In hollow earth, they quote unquote

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in hollow earth, they fly these flying saucers. The flying saucers are called flugel rads

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and there's swastikas on them. And I found out that the flugel rad is actually a discarded

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Nazi project of them trying to make UFOs. So yes, take with that what you will. Others

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think that the portal might be aliens. So in the end, all these callers calling in to talk

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to Mel, they didn't really give him anything really useful. But to be fair to everyone,

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like the Pacific Northwest is like a hotbed for some really weird ass shit. So who knows?

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Like it is like the home of like Bigfoot and like a lot of different alien and UFO encounters.

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But before Mel disconnects one caller and probably the most rational of the bunch tells

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him that calling into coast to coast talking about this portal on his property and at such

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great lengths is probably a really bad idea because the government is for sure listening

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now. If they weren't before, they definitely are now. Oh, yeah. Now they're a part of it.

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Yeah. And Mel pretty much is like, you know what? Yeah, that's that's a really good point.

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And then and then agrees to come back on for an update. But good idea. I'll be back tomorrow

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for more. But when the time came for Mel to come back on the show, Mel was nowhere to

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be found. He was a no call no show. He just fucking vanished. Oh, no. What do you what

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I want to know? Because I'm going to tell you what happened to him. But I want you to

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give me your theory on what you think. I mean, my theory is my theory is he fell into his

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own hole. He divided by zero.

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I mean, OK, all right. It's a plausible theory, Sarge. I'll give you that. But remember, it's

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like a black hole. He got sucked in, you know, and then it became like an infinity loop.

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OK. Got him. Did you have any? All right. No, you did not. You did not get sucked into

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his own hole for infinity. It was it was an Oroboro situation. Just eating his own tail.

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So Mel would actually go radio silent for close to three years before he resurfaced

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and made another appearance on Coast to Coast. Now on this shit on this call, he would tell

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Art in the audience that he was offered three million dollars a year to lease out his property

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to persons unknown, the government. But as part of the lease agreement, he was forced

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to sign an NDA and he had to leave the country and never return, which I mean, yeah, I would

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I would take that deal. Fuck it. Like, why not? Yeah. Well, I mean, it's millions of

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dollars. I mean, I'll fucking abandon my house for one hundred thousand. So that works. Yeah.

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But obviously he broke that arrangement. Mel says that after taking it naturally, after

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taking the deal, he moved to Australia for two years, but started getting homesick. He

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missed his family. He's his friends. He probably also missed being in a country where nature

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wasn't actively trying to kill you for like twenty four seven, which was a bad idea since

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he was explicitly warned when signing this lease agreement to not do this. I guess when

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Mel first made it back to the States, he had gotten in touch with Art and was supposed

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to come on the show sooner. But like last time was a no show. Apparently what had happened

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was was that Mel was on a bus going to visit a relative. I think it was a nephew. But while

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he was on the bus, some sort of fight or altercation, something something happened on the bus where

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it had to pull over and the police were called. He remembers being questioned, put on a different

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bus and then waking up 12 days later in an alley in San Francisco. His wallet and keys

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are missing. He has tape marks and a hole in his arm as if he had been placed on an

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I.V. and his back teeth were missing. All right. Can we just take a look? I feel like

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this is just kind of a rough night. I mean, I've had those. Yeah. Yeah. You have like

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a chemical time machine where you just had enough substances where you wake up a couple

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days later and you're like in an alley where I was. We've all woken up. Let's not pretend

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we haven't all woken up in an alley with a needle mark in our eyes and our back teeth.

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I don't I want to know why, because like there's no reason for this. I don't understand the

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back teeth thing. So the government was presumed that the government did this. The government

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was nice enough to remove his wisdom teeth for him, right? And then give him a vacation

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to San Francisco. True. I went to I went to San Francisco like two years, two years ago

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maybe. I don't know. But it was it was lovely. It was a great time. You got to make sure

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you don't leave anything in your car because they'll smash out your windows and steal it.

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Apparently, it's a huge thing in San Francisco. Yeah. And you also want to make sure that

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you don't wear sandals because there's poop on the ground everywhere. See, I didn't see

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any poop, but I did get to go to the Redwood Forest where they shot Return of the Jedi.

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Oh, awesome. I don't understand the teeth thing, though. I don't think like I don't

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know if it's like a maybe he's thinking like weird conspiracy show, like maybe he had fucking

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fillings back there and maybe he thought like they took about so he can get radio frequencies.

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I really don't. I don't understand if this is a hoax, like why that part? It makes no

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sense to me. I mean, think about it this way, though, like you're you're in the government,

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right? And you were trying to make somebody feel as crazy as possible. There's few things

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you could do that are weirder than taking out someone's fucking back teeth. Yeah, but

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this is like that's like a weird like gang stalking kind of maybe not gang. Yeah, that's

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what I'm saying, though, is like it's like no one's going to be like, oh, the government

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took your teeth. It's like gaslighting and gang stalking all in one. It's like exactly.

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Exactly. It's gas in East Germany. The Stasiants East Germany, the secret police back when

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East Germany was a communist proxy owned by Russia and whatever. Thank you. I used to

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go into people's houses. Thank you. Thank you, David. But they used to go into your

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house and move shit around. And their idea was to kind of like subtly fuck with you,

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to make you think you've gone crazy. That's amazing. And so maybe that's what they're

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doing. So he's he's got this legitimate weird shit in his backyard. The government wants

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to test it. He obviously can't be trusted because he violated his NDA. So the next step

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is like, all right, well, you know, let's let's knock him out for 12, 12 days. So everybody

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thinks he's drunk. We'll drop him off in San Francisco. So people think he's probably hanging

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out with hippies doing psychedelics. And we'll just take his back teeth. And he's going to

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be like, they took my back teeth. And I was going to be all right. All right, Mel, you're

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fucking crazy. Just running, running after random people on the streets of San Francisco.

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The government took my teeth, which I mean, not going to lie, that is something that I

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did like I borderline experienced that one in San Francisco. Just like the government

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stole my teeth. Yeah, sure they did. But cool. Exactly. This is what I'm saying. Who knows

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how many of the crazy, like homeless people on the streets of San Francisco, not to disparage

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homeless people, I know that they are right with like mentally ill people that are just

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disparaged. But how many of them might be victims like Mel of the government stealing

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their teeth? Yeah. And that's why they're on their soapbox on the corner. Yeah, totally

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reasonable, normal guys. Yeah. They stumbled upon a large sinkhole in their backyard that

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the government took interest in. And so they're like, all right, now we're going to take your

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teeth. I woke up with tracks in my arms and now that my teeth are gone. I don't know why

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I did like a Bing Crosby impression. The government took my teeth. Come on, David Bowie, let's

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write a song about it. Sorry, I got Bing Crosby Christmas specials stuck in my head. That was

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good. Thank you. So after finding out that after waking up in the alley, teeth gone,

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IV in his arm or was in his arm. He also found out somehow that there's legal action being

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levied against him for illegal construction on his property that he wasn't responsible

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for power lines, paved roads. I think he said like a septic system was put in. And these

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are all things that the government had put in while he was away for the sorry, quote

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unquote government put in while he was away for those two years. He also finds that his

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bank account has been completely drained. So basically the government has taken everything

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from this man, like his home, his life, teeth. No, during this call and mind you, it's been

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three years since this dude has been heard from some of the coast to coast, more avid

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listeners call in and are like, dude, this is all a hoax, but that didn't deter Mr. Bell,

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who is a mass. He didn't give a fuck if it was a hoax or not. He's a, we talked about

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this last time, he's a showman. He, he knows what he's doing. So he let Mel continue talking

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about this on the show. He even told Mel during this call that a reporter and a TV crew went

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up to the area where the hole supposedly was. And while they didn't find the hole, they

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did find evidence of a military presence and large machinery coming and going from the

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area. It was also noted that a no fly zone had been extended to cover the area and that

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on the website, Tara server, which was basically think like Google earth before there was Google

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earth showed the entire area had been blacked out. And that part is actually true. The area

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where Mel's hole was supposedly located was actually blacked out on this mapping site.

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Now that is amazing. So, but some people who learned about this information about the Tara

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server site said, well, maybe Mel stumbled across this site and he noticed this area

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and he called up creating this like fantastical story about a portal on his property, blah,

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blah, blah. And that, you know, that's possible. And it sounds reasonable. It's like a reasonable

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skepticism that someone would have. The only problem with this theory is that the Tara

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server site had been launched six months after Mel had made his first call to coast to coast.

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So fuck you, rational thinkers, eat a dick. Yeah. Get out of here. Skeptics, you fucking

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clowns, NASA shills. Now, Art and Mel continue talking about what Mel had been up to for

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the last year. So he'd been in Australia for two years, but what about the year in between,

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you know, returning and calling in to talk to our bell? Well, Mel was contacted by a

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Native American tribe in Nevada. They wanted to know if he, if he would be interested in

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helping them research another bottomless pit. And it's with that second hole that we will

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pick up with part three of Mel's hole. God damn it. I told you so many holes. So many

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holes. It's going to be good. I'm excited. This is, yeah, this is a whole thing. I told

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you there's Mel's hole runs deep, bud. It does run deep. This is a whole thing. Fascinating.

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It is a whole thing. Yeah. I'm very surprised about the, about the, the second, the second

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one on Native American land. I want to know what's in there. Dude. Like we got to find

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it. We got it. We need drones. Can I, can I, you need a camera on a rope? Can I give

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you a hint about what's about to, I'll, I'll not a hint, but I will give you a spoiler

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for next week's episode. Alien seal pup. That's all I'm going to say. Oh shit. This is something

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comes up from the hole. I'm telling you right now, I have, I'm so I don't do, I'm not going

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to do any research on this cause I don't want any spoilers. Um, but it is going to be so

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hard not to Google this. Yeah. Cause like this is, this is fun. Like this is a fun conspiracy.

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It's a good one. Yeah. And the fact is it's like, it's harmless. It's harmless regardless

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of the other than Mel's teeth. It's like a, like no one's, no one's going to lose their

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family because they're fascinated with a hole. True. And as far as I know, this, this is

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doesn't get anti-semitic. Most conspiracy theories. They really do. They always, it

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always comes back. It circles back. It's either, it's either anti-semitic. There's blood, li,

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something. But as far as I know, this is a, it's just a, it's harmless. It's good. It's

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fun. No one's getting hurt except for Mel. Yeah. Apparently I always ask. I, so my best

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friend in the world, I've known him since we were five years old. He's Jewish. Um, and

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we've always been close and there, every time I hear a new Jewish conspiracy theory, I'm

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always like, bro, what are you guys doing? What are you planning? Like, yeah, like I,

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I know you run Hollywood. Why don't I have a job? Like you can't call somebody for me.

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You do the same thing I do to, so my boss at work, he's a Freemason. And I am also a

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Freemason, but I always, always whenever he's like, when he was like, Oh, I got to leave

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work early. I got to head down to the fucking whatever in center city. I'm like, Oh, so

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you go to your Illuminati meeting? Like where? That's the funniest thing is like, I'm a,

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so I'm also a Freemason. Um, there was actually a Freemason youth group. It's still around

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and I was in the youth group first. And then just before I joined the military, I joined

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the Freemasons and, um, I'm nothing special. I'm just a third degree Mason. My brother

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is a 32nd degree Mason. Um, and I gotta be honest, he knows what's going on under Dulce

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air base, right? Yeah. He knows all the shit, right? Denver airport, all that kind of stuff.

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Got it. I'm just a stooge. He's, he's the man with the plan. Um, but that's the, the

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thing I was most disappointed about when I started going to meetings is it's just a bunch

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of dudes drinking scotch and bitching about their kids. That's all we do. That's what

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he keeps telling me. He's like, no, just literally just a bunch of dudes. It's one of us. One

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of them pitches like a bad business idea. One of them goes, I'll give you a thousand

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dollars and then, yeah, and then that's it. All right. How do I become a basic? Because

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I will gladly, I have so many bad business ideas that I'll gladly get funded by just

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a dude. Yeah. And then like periodically we go to like a homeless shelter and give out

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food. Yeah. The sinister plan of feeding the homeless. Where are we at right now? We're

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part two Mel's hole. Where are we at? What are you like? What are your feelings on this

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so far? Like how you were like, give me, give me, I genuinely want, I genuinely want to

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like get a GoPro, tie a rope to it and just, just keep buying rope until I can't find any

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more rope on the planet earth. I just want to keep sending rope down there with like

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extension cord after extension cord to keep that GoPro going until we hit the bottom and

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I find out what's down there. I mean, to this day, Mel's hole has never been discovered.

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So we don't know. We don't even know where Mel's hole is other than Pacific Northwest.

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Yeah. It's, it's, we know it's outside of Ellensburg, Washington. Okay. So what we need

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to do is go on Google earth, find like the blacked out spot. Google earth has to be like,

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bingo, there it is. So I can't tell you, I can't tell you. We're gonna wait for episode

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three. I'll wait. I'll wait. I'll wait. Do you have any theories about how this is going

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to end? I want to, cause next week will be the end of Mel's hole. I think Mel disappears.

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Mel disappears. You think he's just gone? Yeah. I just, I just think he's just gone.

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He's in the wind. Do you think it's like a hoax thing or do you think, do you think it's

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like a grifter thing? Cause I don't think he's made any money. Like he's not something

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like Mel's hole merch. You know what I mean? I mean, how much money really is there in,

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I've got a hole in the ground. It's not like you can put that on a t-shirt. I mean, you

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could, but you'd have to sell it at like a books and you know, one of those adult bookstores.

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Mar, sorry. We have, we, there's been many quotes from the past two episodes that I think

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we could have like a whole merch line of Mel's holes merch. What I want to do is I would

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like to make one of those like old timey looking postcards like advertising come gaze into

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the glory of Mel's hole. I was, that's what I did. I literally was just thinking in my

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head, a great t-shirt would be like, like a, like one of those like vintage national parks

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t-shirts. Yes. That's what I'm talking about. That's exactly what I'm talking about. Yeah.

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Oh shit. All right. Well, Sarge, sorry to keep you waiting. I'm sorry to keep you like

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in. I keep, you know, I'm okay with it. I like the suspense. This is really, it's the

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only way to keep you as, as my, my consistent go host is that I need you to be like, well

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fuck now I need to know what, how it ends. Yeah. The, it's the anxiety I'm ready for

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it. Let's go. All right. Is there anything you want to plug? Oh, by the way, uh, citizens

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guide to the super normal new episode. So good. So what, twists and turns that I was

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not expecting, I'm not going to spoil it. I almost spoiled it in the comment on your

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tech talk and then I had to delete it and redo it. Those twists and turns. I gotta say

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when I do my podcast, it, it didn't, it started out as like me just, I get annoyed by like

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crazy misinformation. Um, and so it started out is that, but, but I want also want like

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some wonder there are some things that like, I get really excited about. I'm like, this

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is fucking cool. I can't believe it actually exists. And then I start researching it for

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the podcast and inevitably every goddamn time I find something I'm like, Oh, it's a lie.

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00:32:39,920 --> 00:32:45,720
Great. Awesome. But more bullshit, but you're talking to a guy who researches possible fictional

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creatures. That's true. That's true. Spare time for funsies. Whatever you're feeling.

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I know I can relate. It's heartbreaking sometimes. Yeah. Yeah. There's been a bunch of those,

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but yeah, no, the, the, the show's awesome. Thank you. Episodes. We're going to, we're

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going to get, um, we've got another one we're going to record tonight. I think we're going

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to probably drop, uh, either Tuesdays or Wednesdays, probably Wednesdays, just to give, uh, uh,

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my producer Maynard, who does pretty much all the work other than the script writing,

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uh, to give him some time. But, uh, yeah, uh, we're excited about this next one coming

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up. It's going to be a big one. I don't want to, I can't give out any spoilers because

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there's supposed to be a surprise. Um, and if there isn't a surprise, it'll still be

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good. You know, the, the, the woman on the show, that's Maynard's wife, right? Yeah.

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That's Laura. Uh, she's going to be off tonight cause it's mother's day. So we want to make

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sure we give her a time away from her, her adult children as well. She is, she is, she's

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so she keeps me honest. She's like, she's so, she is not mesmerized by my bullshit in

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any way. I will say this Maynard has the same exact energy on your show as he did when you,

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both of you were a guest on, uh, the Massachusetts. Yeah. He is my next door neighbor. It's like

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dry and like to the point, but like, it's funny. It's good. It's a good show. One of

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my favorite things about him is that he will randomly send me, um, weird mashups online,

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uh, from this guy named DJ Cumberbund. Yes, I know DJ Cumberbund. I fucking love weird

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mashups. And he sends them to me all the time. He's, Maynard is very, very well versed in

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music and so he, uh, he's always got these great takes. Like he posted a meme today about,

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uh, the band fish. Oh, the, uh, I heard a good fish.

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There's like no disrespect to fish, but there is no good fish. So, uh, there is one. All

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right. All right. Uh, there's good, there's good ice cream based on fish, but that's about

367
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it. Um, you can find me on all the socials. Um, just Google Saja destroyer. It sounds

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00:35:09,960 --> 00:35:14,480
so arrogant to say that, but it, I just happened to have a very weird name that no one else

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uses. So you, and I was a prolific tweeter for awhile. So, but also I did add all of

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your socials onto the link tree in the right. Yeah. Crypto cocktail bio on Instagram. So

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if you just hit that, you could find all of this stuff. Uh, where can they find citizens

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guide? I know. So citizens guide to the super normal is on everything. I tend to listen

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on Spotify where hosted off of sound cloud. We're like sound cloud rappers only there's

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no music involved and less facial. Yeah. No facial tattoos. I have no intention of doing

375
00:35:50,560 --> 00:35:56,040
that. Um, but yeah, so you could find this on, on a Spotify. We're probably on iTunes.

376
00:35:56,040 --> 00:36:01,280
I have to imagine or apple or whatever the fuck they're calling it now. Um, yeah. So

377
00:36:01,280 --> 00:36:08,600
check it out. Uh, we've got like 45 episodes out. So hopefully there's something there

378
00:36:08,600 --> 00:36:15,840
to tickle your fancy in your fancy. Um, yeah. Yeah. Go listen to a show. That's good. I'll,

379
00:36:15,840 --> 00:36:21,600
I'll, uh, if I can, I'll find a bunch of different places and I'll put a links to where you can

380
00:36:21,600 --> 00:36:26,560
listen to it on our, on the link tree and crypto cocktail. You know, I have to imagine,

381
00:36:26,560 --> 00:36:30,520
I have to imagine there's like some companion episodes. We've probably covered one or two

382
00:36:30,520 --> 00:36:34,240
of the same topics. Oh, I'm a hundred percent sure. I haven't delved through the entire

383
00:36:34,240 --> 00:36:40,000
back catalog, but I'm sure there's something. Yeah. You'll be able to tell the episodes

384
00:36:40,000 --> 00:36:43,640
that I edited versus the ones that Maynard edited because the sound quality is much better

385
00:36:43,640 --> 00:36:48,880
when he does it. Oh dude, he's a fucking dude. The sound when he does it. He's so good. He's

386
00:36:48,880 --> 00:36:54,520
so good. He knows his stuff. Yeah. All right. Uh, thank you for listening to all this. Thank

387
00:36:54,520 --> 00:37:03,520
you for delving into Mel's hole with us. And I'm very much looking forward to, to really

388
00:37:03,520 --> 00:37:09,080
digging into Mel's hole next week. Yeah. It'll be, uh, it'll be the conclusion hopefully.

389
00:37:09,080 --> 00:37:13,440
I mean, who knows? I'm going to bring a headlamp and some lube and we're just going to get

390
00:37:13,440 --> 00:37:20,240
in there. All right. If you want to slip and slide, if you want to follow us on Instagram,

391
00:37:20,240 --> 00:37:24,520
follow us at a crypto cocktail, uh, follow some Tik Tok, create the cop to cryptid cocktail

392
00:37:24,520 --> 00:37:31,080
party. Uh, we do have a patron. It's $5 a month. You can find, uh, unedited video versions

393
00:37:31,080 --> 00:37:35,360
of the podcast on there. Uh, and we'll get some other things going. I do want to start

394
00:37:35,360 --> 00:37:41,280
a thing where I read, uh, cryptid erotic fan fiction and try not to laugh. I think that

395
00:37:41,280 --> 00:37:46,440
'd be really good. And I think what you need is for me to do that because what you don't

396
00:37:46,440 --> 00:37:53,480
know about me, Dave, is that I was, uh, uh, a well studied theater student for many years

397
00:37:53,480 --> 00:37:59,760
before I came to my senses and joined the military. So, um, I feel like both of those

398
00:37:59,760 --> 00:38:08,480
are like two very different fields, but there's a convergence. Um, well, they do call it the,

399
00:38:08,480 --> 00:38:13,480
uh, they don't, they call like the war, like war theaters, right? It's like the theater,

400
00:38:13,480 --> 00:38:18,040
the theater of war. Yeah. So I just gave up one theater for another, but yeah, I would

401
00:38:18,040 --> 00:38:25,320
love that. What we should do is we should each pick a cryptid erotic fan fiction and

402
00:38:25,320 --> 00:38:31,040
then, and then we'll read them to each other and maybe we'll bring on a guest that is completely

403
00:38:31,040 --> 00:38:35,920
not expecting what we're about to do and make them sit through it. They just sit through

404
00:38:35,920 --> 00:38:41,640
it. But also whoever's reading it, the other two people have to try not to laugh. It will

405
00:38:41,640 --> 00:38:45,840
make a game out of it somehow. Oh, you'll have to like put water in your mouth. Yeah.

406
00:38:45,840 --> 00:38:50,440
I could spit all over my phones. Go fuck. Yeah. I'll just cover my microphone in, in,

407
00:38:50,440 --> 00:38:54,600
uh, pit plastic. Yeah. And then, uh, the other thing that I want to start doing is, uh, we

408
00:38:54,600 --> 00:38:59,280
did, uh, AI creepy pastas for a while. Those were pretty fun. We're going to bring those

409
00:38:59,280 --> 00:39:07,840
back. It'll be good anyways. Uh, so yes, follow us. Sorry. Do you want to say bye to everyone?

410
00:39:07,840 --> 00:39:14,840
I love you. Bye.