Hey everybody.
Welcome back to another episode of Cryptic Cocktail Party, a show where we have a few
fights, share a few laughs, take a dive into the unknown.
I'm your host, Dave, and joined as always my lovely co-host, Sarge the Destroyer.
What's going on, handsome?
What's going on?
I had an eventful day.
Did you?
Someone described it as a main character day.
I see.
Well, hold on.
So I feel like when people are, people describe someone else as a main character, that's not
usually a good thing.
No, no, it's not usually a good thing.
And I recognized that it could be problematic, but I know based on who it was coming from,
that it was like, oh no, you just, you know, you had a lot going on today.
So it's, it's, it's Star Wars day, as we all know.
And there was a fun run at my child's school.
Now my son, he-
There's no such thing as a fun run.
Running is a nightmare.
No, there's nothing fun about it.
Okay.
I'm glad we're on the same page.
It's an evolutionary thing.
I mean, you, you literally only do it to escape from animals, you know, when they were chasing
you.
And then we just, we were like, you know what would be fun is to do this, but without lions.
Behind us.
And I hate it, but my son was like, he loves running.
Right.
And he's like, most kids do dad.
It's a fun run.
You got to run with me.
I'm like, yeah, sure.
But he's like, I'm really fast.
Just so you know.
Okay.
Oh, okay.
All right, good.
So we get about, you know, two seconds into this run and he is sprints, right?
He, you know, jolts forward.
That's not how you do it.
It disappears over the horizon.
Right.
You're going to wear yourself out.
If you just, you got to pace yourself.
Right.
And so my 42 year old ass, I'm like lumbering through and there's my son with his hands on
his knees, trying to catch his breath.
We haven't even made it a hundred yards.
And I'm like, what's going on, buddy?
Let's go.
I thought you were fast.
And so that was awful.
And he just kept stopping the whole time.
And I'm trying, I'm running the whole way through.
Cause I, you know, I'm like a, I'm like a, like a freight train.
I've got two speeds go or stop.
And so I knew if I stopped, it was going to take me too long to get going again.
Yeah.
So eventually I forced him to go through.
We did like an 11 minute mile, which couldn't possibly be slower for me.
I'm not even fast, but I do more than, you know, an 11 minute mile.
I feel like that's not terrible for a child though.
It's not bad, but given how much he hyped himself up, he's like, Oh dad, I'm real fast.
You're going to hold this kid to it.
Yeah.
You're full of shit, but we were wearing matching shirts.
We went to the Red Sox, Star Wars game.
Yeah.
They do like Star Wars nights.
So we both had matching Red Sox jerseys for Star Wars and we were both wearing Mandalorian
hats.
We had it.
We, after we finished, we got medals and that was fun.
And then we went to like a little party that they had at his school.
And so there was tug of war.
My son and I played tug of war and I, you know, I went easy on him cause he's a little
guy.
I'm pulling back and then jokingly, I put the rope over my shoulder and started walking
away from him and he's holding on on his end.
And then I feel it get, get real difficult and I turn around and there's eight elementary
school age children digging their heels in as hard as they can.
And so I was like, Oh, let's do it.
Let's see how far I can go.
I held my own for quite a while.
I actually started to make a little progress and then this little meaty son of a bitch
jumped on the end.
And yeah, he totally stopped my progress and I had to give up cause it was just, it was
too much.
The boy was strong.
Well, like I was telling you is that the husky kids are the ones you gotta look out for.
Okay.
Because, like I said, outside of that soft exterior, the, you know, the, as a husky kid,
they goes, you know, everyone's like, Oh, he's so cute.
Punched the cheeks.
All that.
That's rage.
That causes intense rage.
And like I said, it's mostly just rage and dense bake goods inside.
So like, I believe I said to you, what did I, Oh, uh, uh, husky kids have the density
of a dying son.
They're pretty much, they're pretty much unmovable.
Because they're usually short squat.
Like the center of gravity is there.
So if you get a husky kid to be the anchor in a tug of war match, you're done.
It doesn't matter who you are.
You're done.
Absolutely.
He looks, he looks like, like he's like, he's overweight, right?
He looks like he's, he's a fat guy.
He's built a little bit like Paul Sorvino.
Okay.
You know, from, so anyway, um, but he is solid.
So rude.
I feel like, but it's good.
I like that.
Yeah.
He is immovable.
Yeah.
And I can tell that deep down, if he wanted to, he could destroy most people.
He is just burly, but he looks so unassuming.
He's like quiet.
He's got glasses and braces.
But I swear to God, that boy could punch a hole through a brick wall.
Um, anyway, so after, after my son embarrassed me by inviting all of his friends, um, to
a tug of war, I feel like, I feel like eight on one, like you're good.
It's not embarrassed.
Like no, no, no, no, no, I feel like once it gets to nine, but the thing is like all
the dads were kind of like laughing at me.
I was just going to say, I feel like even then the dads are like nine kids.
That's a lot.
Yeah.
I'm like, well, I'm like thinking to myself, get in here, you dicks.
Like let's go.
Let's all do this.
You know, we can't show these, we can't let these kids win.
We're going to show them who's boss.
Couldn't make these kids fucking dirt.
Fuck these kids.
Right.
You little bastards.
Anyway, they also sort of raise money for the school.
They have a cow and the cow was fenced in this enclosure.
For so long.
No, wait, hold on.
Hold on.
To raise money for the school, they have this cow.
Yeah.
Is it a golden calf?
Is this like a weird fucking like, is this a religious thing or are we like?
This is going to get real country.
And when I say real country, I mean, we live within, within 20 miles of like the, some of
the greatest universities in America.
You're about to say something that only I would understand and New England listeners
will understand.
Yeah.
No.
Okay.
So knowing that we live in a fairly, you know, it's a suburb, but it's still fairly metropolitan
area, like from the top of, of the streets of route one, you can see the Boston skyline.
Okay.
And so there's, there's this field out behind the school and they've got this like fenced
in area.
You know, temporary fencing, of course, in this grids paint spray painted with white
spray paint and they've got the cow.
And basically you pick a square and if the cow happens to shit in that square, exactly
where you're going with this, as soon as you said grid, I knew it was going to be a cow
patty situation.
Now like I can understand this.
If there's a lot of cows in your, in your neighborhood, there's not a cow within like
20 miles of my house.
I don't know where they truck this fat son of a bitch in from, but the cow wasn't having
it.
I'm from New Hampshire.
This makes complete sense to me.
Yeah.
I would expect this in, in New Hampshire.
Like they had to import the cow, you know?
So anyway, this like a Dumbo drops the Jewish fucking fly it in by black and just drop it
out the side.
Yeah, exactly.
So the cow is in this very flimsy enclosure and the cow decided I don't want to be here
anymore.
That tracks.
So this giant son of a bitch breaks through the pen.
I don't know if it jumped over the small fence that was there or like, anyway, it's just
rampaging, but not angry rampage.
Just like, you know, the cow doesn't want to be in there more.
So it was just running, but the whole area is full of children.
So like this cow is going to body one of these kids, I'm sure of it.
Yeah.
And the cow starts running towards me and I'm thinking to myself, I don't want these
kids to get killed.
So let me stop the cow.
And so I get the fuck are you going to do against a cow?
Well, wait.
So the cows wearing this like rope thing around its head so you can control it.
And so I grab onto it and I'm holding onto it and I'm looking at this animal that is
easily three times my weight.
Do you have a smooch?
And I'm looking into its big, you know, sweet brown eyes and I'm like, Hey buddy.
But I'm thinking to myself, okay, now I have the cow.
What do I do with it?
Well, like I caught it if I'm holding its head, but I'm like, if this cow decides it
wants to continue moving, this isn't a tug of war situation.
The cow is going to win.
Yeah, you'll get murdered.
Yeah, definitely.
So I'm like trying to calm it down and be nice to it.
But I'm like also scared because this thing's fucking huge.
And I see this girl running from the distance in the distance and you know that she's running
one because she wants to get the cow away from me and bring it back to its pen.
But two, because she definitely fucked up somewhere along the road and wasn't paying
attention and that's how this like 600 pound beast managed to outrun her.
Yeah.
And so she comes up and she's like, Oh, don't hold the rope like that.
And I'm like, rope like, what are you talking about?
I'm just trying to stop this thing from bodying a six year old.
And so I let it go and she takes it, but the fat ass cow steps on my foot and I was like,
okay, all right, I'm done.
I'm out of here.
It hurt like a son of a bitch because it's, you know, their feet are hooves.
So it just jammed its hooves in the top of my foot.
So eventually I just, I gave up.
I feel like where you fucked up is that you didn't, you, you had the cow, you had its
head, you were facing it, but you didn't do that thing that you do to golden retrievers
where you just put your forehead on his forehead and they just know that you love it.
I feel like that's where you see, that's where you fucked up.
Cause I, I want to give it a smooth.
I want to, you know, Hey girl, well, I was talking real nice to it and I was patting
its face.
I was like, Hey buddy, don't run away.
Cause I don't want to die today.
Well, there you go.
So you called the buddy.
All right.
Yeah.
No, I was being friendly with it, but cows are notoriously known to be female.
Wolves are buddies.
Oh, right, right, right, right.
And uh, we won't stand for that.
You know, I'm actually mildly embarrassed that you say that right now because I remember
when I first saw the cow, I thought to myself, what are that's a boy or a girl?
This should give you out, this should give the listeners a bit of a clue as to how few
farm animals we have on my end in Massachusetts.
Oh, well I'm glad I could clear the air.
That's fucking, I can't believe I thought that.
I'm such a moron.
What if it's a boy or a girl cow?
It doesn't have any others.
Oh, it doesn't have any horns either.
You fucking moron.
Oh man.
I'm glad you're not there.
I'm glad you, I'm glad that was my day.
I'm glad you didn't stop.
I'm glad you didn't get killed by a cow, but I am glad that you stopped it from murdering
a bunch of children, although you did stop what would have been one of the best viral
moments of your town that you live in.
I should have just filmed it frankly.
If anyone recorded it.
Yeah, exactly.
My day wasn't as exciting.
I may have gotten a little bit drunk before we started recording this episode and now
that's okay.
I'll just catch up.
Now I'm drinking this fucking bantha brew.
Oh yeah.
So I was speaking to Star Wars day, everyone.
We're already 12 minutes into this episode.
We haven't even come close to what we're going to be talking about today.
Sorry, I had to tell somebody about the rampaging cow.
No, that's fine.
Real quick though.
I did go to Nishamnee Creek Brewery up in Bristol County, Croydon to be exact, and they
are doing their May the Fourth Brew With You celebration today.
And I picked up some of their Bantha fodder, spring Bach German style lager, 7% alcohol.
I've already had three of these babies.
I'm ready to go.
You're ready to go.
I'm excited.
So real quick before we actually before we start the episode, I might rearrange the segments
of this episode.
And this might be before your cow story.
But we got it.
We got Sarge, pay attention to me.
Look at me.
I'm paying attention.
Look at me.
I'm ready.
All right.
We got a really friendly.
We got a really nice message on TikTok the other day.
It was DM and from a listener.
And I don't normally get a lot of like DMs from people talking about like, hey, like
shows, you know, whatever.
But this actually really touched me.
And I did.
I'm not going to say I got emotional, but like I've done the show for a year.
We're only like 50 episodes in.
And so for like to get feedback at all, it's fucking phenomenal.
But to get a direct message, you know.
So this is a segment I'm going to start calling wholesome content.
And I made a soundbite for it.
Are you ready for this?
I'm ready.
All right.
So, OK, that was aggressive.
So we got a message from a listener and I'm going to read it just because I think everyone
should hear it.
It says, hey, I just wanted to reach out and say I was super excited to have found your
podcast and I really enjoy listening.
I'm listening all week and I swear it's the perfect blend of laughter and learning.
It's just effortlessly from it's just effortless for me to stay engaged and eager to keep listening.
Also bonus points for being a metalhead.
Hope you have a great rest of your week and I can't wait to hear more.
Come on, man.
I love that.
Come on.
That that makes all the work worth it.
I mean, all the work you do.
I do nothing.
I just sit here and talk to you.
But yeah, I mean, the research I because like the thing is, man, you do put a lot of energy
in, you put a lot of work in this.
There's a lot of research that goes into the show.
And you know that that that makes it so worth it to know that somebody out there appreciates
it.
I always go.
Yeah.
I mean, that's just frigging great, man.
So, yeah.
So I guess going forward, if let's do this.
All right.
So if anytime anyone ever leaves a review on Apple or something like that or that's
a DM, if you want to be part of the wholesome content segment, let me know and I'll I'll
do it on the show.
Also real quick before we get into the actual episode starting this week, if you sign up
for our Patreon, it's five dollars a month.
You will get unedited video episodes of the show.
Whoo.
Because the shows that we record tend to be at least an hour.
The actual episode that comes out is 40 to 30 minutes because we go off on things.
Yeah.
So, yeah.
So I'll make sure to keep my shirt on so you don't see my giant pepperoni nipples.
So starting starting this week, if you sign up for the Patreon, you will get unedited
video episodes starting with last week's episode and this week's episode.
So you get two for one this week if you sign up.
It's only five dollars a month.
Not that, you know, like is whatever.
OK, Sarge, let's do it.
We're 15 minutes in.
This is already going to be a nightmare.
We're so far off of.
That's OK.
I'm so excited.
I'm so ready.
All right.
My nipples are hard.
Let's go.
Sarge, I'm going to can I set the scene for you?
Please do.
All right.
On a rural property.
That's how drunk I am on a on a rural property in the Manitash Ridge, nine miles north of
Ellensburg, Washington, a man made a discovery so big that for the past 30 years, 30 years
has gripped the paranormal and conspiracy community with fascination and intrigue.
And this mystery has got everything.
It's got Black Hawk helicopters, clandestine government agents, a dead dog.
I'm so in.
And this all started.
I hope the dog died of natural causes, otherwise going to be very mad at you.
I don't know how it died, but all of this started on February 21st, 1997, when that
man, the owner of this property, called into Coast to Coast A.M. to tell Art Bell.
I love Art Bell.
He called Coast to Coast A.M. to tell Art Bell about his hole.
This man's name is Mel Waters.
And today we are going to be covering the mystery that is Mel's hole.
Are you familiar with Mel's hole?
We're so mature.
Let's be mature for a second.
Are you familiar with Mel's hole?
I have not been inside Mel's hole.
I texted you saying I was going to regret this episode because it's going to be so mature.
Did I not say that to you?
You did say it.
And frankly, you didn't disappoint.
I'm so excited about this.
Tell me more about Mel's hole.
I want to know everything.
Does it require?
Is there an echo?
Surprisingly no.
And we will go over that.
No echo in Mel's hole.
So all right, let's all just take a breath.
So the story of Mel's holes is a rather unbelievable one.
The only source of information about the hole and the surrounding mystery.
The only source of information is some unverified writings on the on the wall of a public restroom.
The only source of information about the hole and the surrounding mystery are from Mel and
his numerous calls to Art Bell over the past few years.
And while Coast to Coast AM is somewhat iffy source, it's kind of like, it's like all we
got as far as this goes.
So without any further delay, Sarge, are you ready?
It's not my fault.
You're talking to me about Mel's hole.
I just wanted to listen.
So any further?
No more about the hole.
How deep is it?
Are you ready?
Are you ready to dive into Mel's hole?
Yes.
I am so ready.
Mel, I want to be inside your hole, buddy.
So according to Mel, located somewhere on his property, there's a big hole in the ground,
obviously.
It's roughly nine feet in diameter with a retaining wall made of stone that goes down
roughly 15 feet.
And then after that, it's just like pure unadulterated darkness.
Now, Mel and the owners of the property before him just assumed that it was like an old well
of sorts.
And both the previous owners, as well as his neighbors and Mel, used the hole as like a
trash pit.
They would throw like old tires, old refrigerators, like just like washing machines.
And just any sort of like big debris or household trash, it just went straight into the pit.
Yeah, I mean, why the fuck not?
Exactly.
But after a few years of this, Mel started thinking like, hey, man, we've been like all
of us have been tossing things into this hole for like a good while now.
Why isn't this thing filling up?
And I feel bad for Mel.
He's desperately trying to fill his hole and just nothing seems to be touching it.
But he also thought like, why couldn't you hear anything ever hit the bottom?
Like you said, you couldn't even hear an echo if you were to shout directly into Mel's hole.
So Mel, being a curious guy, decided he was going to get to the literal bottom of this
hole.
Being the avid fisherman that he was, he grabbed a few large spools of fishing line and he
grabbed a one pound weight and just went to where he just tied it around, tossed it, tossed
in the line and let it unspool the full five thousand feet that the spool had on it into
the hole.
But it never reached the bottom.
So he thought, well, maybe there's like water at the bottom.
So he pulled the line back up.
He attached a roll of lifesavers to the line and cast it down again.
I don't know if he just had them on his person or if he went to the store by it either way.
His thinking was that if there was water, they would come back up dissolved or at least
like at the very least, like wet.
Oh, I'm going to be honest with you.
When you first said he was going to throw lifesavers in there, I was like, is he six?
But they dropping him in there to see if they get wet.
Like, OK, that that's actually a really good point.
I didn't.
I that's pretty that's redneck ingenuity.
Right there.
You know what I mean?
Like he wanted to know if it was wet down there.
And the best way to do that is, you know, throw something in there.
It's OK.
Yeah.
All right, Mel, I feel like you underestimated your whole buddy.
Could it help?
Could it?
You know, the the the weight would have come up wet, but that you whatever.
But it's fine.
But when he reeled the lifesavers back up, they were bone dry.
So he attached another roll of five thousand foot fishing line onto the other five hundred
foot fishing line to see if he could reach the bottom again.
No about he does again and again until he ran out of spools of fishing line.
And by this time, the length of the line was 80,000 feet.
To put that into context, that is 15 miles into the ground with no bottom in sight.
Right.
Fucked up.
But that's insane.
Right.
You got a deep ass hole, bro.
That's what I'm saying.
But besides the whole seeming bottomless, there were other things off about this pit.
Like if Mel brought his radio out to the hole, like just to listen to music while he was
experimenting with this hole, the wording, a little shoddy, smooth operator.
Yeah.
I should have worded this episode a lot better.
I mean, typically when I'm messing around with a strange hole, I try to, you know, set
the mood right.
The signal would cut out and he would start getting broadcasts from somewhere else.
One example he gave was that one day his radio started picking up what he called old timey
music.
So he decided to change the station to the baseball game.
All seemed normal at first until he learns that the baseball game was being played in
1967, which is 30 years earlier.
Now is that weird?
Yes.
Could have been a rebroadcast of an old game.
Sure.
But who listens to 30 year old baseball games?
You know what I mean?
Mel's dogs were also afraid to go near it.
And if you tried to get them closer, they would just straight up like dig their heels
into the ground and refuse to move.
And it wasn't just.
Yeah.
I mean, well, I mean, it's a good rule of thumb.
You genuinely don't want to involve, involve pets in your hole.
It's illegal.
Okay.
It does.
But it wasn't just his dogs, his neighbors' dogs, as well as wildlife in general, just
did not fuck with this hole.
There was no insects around it.
Fuck me.
All right.
Birds flew around it and nature in general just avoided it at all costs.
That a bird never flew out of his hole is what you're saying.
It wouldn't even go near it.
It would fly around it.
But weirdly enough, plants grew very well around the hole.
Then when Mel was going around asking the neighbors if they noticed anything weird about
the hole, one of them told him one of the most redneck things that I have ever heard
in my entire life.
The neighbor told him that not long ago his dog had passed away.
So he did what any good pet owner would do and lovingly and respectfully fucking yeeted
that dead dog straight down the hole.
Just fucking call me.
Let it go.
So after just hooking his best friend into a bottomless pit like he's Gerard Butler in
the fucking 300, he saw his dog running through a little wooded area near the property line
and he knew it was his dog because it was wearing the same collar.
He tried calling out, but the dog didn't respond and acted like it didn't even know who he
was.
Well, of course the dog didn't respond.
You just threw it in a hole.
That was exactly what I wrote down.
And I was like, yeah, dude, you just fucking chucked it down a well.
I mean, my dog loves the shit out of me, but I'm pretty sure if I kicked her into a giant
gaping hole in the ground, she's not going to be my best friend anymore.
Right.
Like even dogs have standards.
Sorry, I love you.
Love you to death.
But if you were to eat me into a bottomless pit and somehow inter-dimensionally came back
through and like was in the woods, right.
I'd be like, I'm going to get away.
I'm not going to come over to you.
Fuck you, dude.
But I'll say it was dead.
So I don't know anyways, but anyways, honestly, like I would come up if you had done that
to me, right.
If you thrown me into a hole and I popped through like an interdimensional portal and
came out somewhere else, I'd be like, dude, you got to try this.
I mean, that would be, let's go check it out.
But also you were dead and now you're alive.
So I feel like the dog should be grateful.
He just, you did him a favor, right?
Exactly.
And also the disrespect.
But anyways, after more fishing line, more stories from neighbors about weird things
surrounding the hole and now interdimensional dogs popping up left and right, it was becoming
a little too much for Mel and he decided it was time to reach out for some advice.
And he did that by being a call in guest on coast to coast AM with Art Bell.
Now as soon as there's no other place you can go to get reasonable hot takes on things
than to go to Art Bell on coast to coast AM.
Art Bell's a fucking legend.
I will never speak ill of Art Bell.
RIP.
Who was the guy before him?
You know, it was Art Bell and then it was George Norrie.
Oh, that's right.
George Norrie was the guy after Art Bell.
Yeah.
I love both of them.
George Norrie's fucking, Art Bell's.
If you want someone to believe you immediately on no matter how crazy what you're about to
say is that's George Norrie.
Coast to coast AM is a place to go.
George Norrie always believes everyone.
Art Bell.
I think he played into it because he was a showman and he's really good at what he did.
And he because like we'll get into it later on.
Trust me.
Yeah.
But as soon as Art Bell's audience heard the story, like at least the story up to now,
it instantly became like a hot topic.
And at first, like this was a good thing.
People were giving Mel good advice on what to do to like, like to determine like the
depth of the hole, like using lasers or sonar to try and measure the depth, things like
that.
And then the downside coast to coast.
I don't know if people know this, but coast to coast is listened to by like millions of
people worldwide.
Yeah.
And thanks to context clues given by Mel on his appearance on the show, that means that
like millions of people now have like a pretty good general idea of where of where Mel's hole
and his property were located and not just fans of Art Bell's program, but the government
as well.
See, so Mel's first appearance on Coast to Coast wasn't very long.
It was like an hour.
You want to keep the government out of your hole for the most part.
It was that that rings truer now than it did in 1997.
Mel's first appearance on Coast to Coast wasn't very long.
It's like an hour or so.
And in the first call, he disclosed that he wasn't on the property at the time that he
was giving the interview, but he was actually in the nearby city of Ellensburg for a couple
days and he did the interview from there.
But when it was time for Mel to return home, he headed up to the access road that led to
his property and it found that it was blocked off by the military.
And he'd also noticed that evidence of some heavy machinery that had been brought through
it, I'm assuming like tracks, like caterpillar tracks, like up to the thing.
So Mel was he asked like, what's going on?
It was told that there had been a plane crash on this property and he couldn't go home even
though there had been like no reports of a downed plane.
And as far as Mel could tell, there was no there was any evidence of anything like a
red light.
There was no smoke.
There was no fire like you couldn't see anything.
Do we know?
Serious question.
Do we know how big how big Mel's property was?
Yes, but is this like acres and acres of property or it's like a ranch.
OK, kind of deal.
Now Mel was told that he wouldn't be able to return home until the crash was cleaned
up and fully investigated like an investigation had been done.
And well, Mel, he didn't like that answer so much.
So he demanded to speak to someone in charge as I feel like we wanted to talk to the manager.
I get it.
I feel like this is the one time we're being a Karen might actually pay off.
I mean, it's his property.
Exactly.
I'd be fucking furious if the government was like, no, no, no, you can't go in your own
yard.
I'd be like, go fuck yourself.
I own this property.
You can't just.
Yeah.
My home is there.
My food is going to go bad.
You're going to you're going to replace my milk.
Milk is expensive.
Yeah.
Like, what the fuck?
That's messed up.
Uh huh.
So he demanded to speak to someone in charge and he was soon met by a man in plain civilian
clothes and was told that he could not access the land and that as of now, the land technically
wasn't his anymore.
And he told Mel that if he didn't leave right away, they might just happen upon a drug lab
or a weapon stash, something somewhere on Mel's property.
Mel said, fuck that and threatened to go to the press about all of this, to which the
man was like, fucking dude, go ahead.
No one's going to believe you.
But see, that's where for it.
That's where he was wrong.
OK, Mel did go to the press and there were people that did believe him.
And that newslet again was Coast to Coast.
So just you want to find you want to find people who completely believe that you've
got a very unique hole.
There's a couple of places you can go besides only fans and Coast to Coast AM is the way
to go.
Yeah.
Now, just a few days after this encounter with this deep state operative, deep state
operative, sorry.
That's OK.
Art Bell actually called up Mel for an update.
Sarge, it's with this second call that we will pick back up for part two and dive deeper
into Mel's hole hole.
I'm going to suit up and I'm going in.
I had to do it.
Holy shit.
I didn't even realize it.
I was so wrapped up in the story that it's three.
We've been recording for like 40 minutes.
Yeah.
Well, it says 32 minutes, but that's fine.
Oh, no, we've been doing it.
Oh, ready.
Yeah.
So no, that's a good place to leave off because this is going to go for a bit and I want more
of Mel's hole.
But this story goes on so fucking long that it is like the I want to gaze into Mel's hole.
It's not even like you're a big fan of like the paranormal.
And you told me that you've done episodes of your podcast and like QAnon conspiracies
and all this stuff.
And I feel like this like this story fits into all of that because it is it is in 97.
There wasn't you couldn't do online conspiracy.
You couldn't do a QAnon style conspiracy in 1997.
You could.
But it was like, oh, yeah, no, you had to go to like you had to go to like gun shows
and there's some shady dude handing out pamphlets.
Yeah.
Who's wearing like Vietnam era camouflage and coast to coast was really good.
And I think that's the thing about like at least with Art Bell, not with George Norrie,
George Norrie literally believes everything that is ever said to him.
Art Bell was very much a skeptic, but he didn't turn away people's stories.
He he's like he's like me.
We're like, if he doesn't believe the story, he's not going to straight out tell you.
But he does believe that you believe something has happened.
You know what I mean?
Exactly.
He was Art Bell was a showman.
George Norrie is a fucking shill.
Yeah.
I hate to say it, but I agree with you.
The thing is, I'm I'm a huge skeptic, but at the same time, you have to recognize that
there are going to be things I think would be incredibly arrogant to be the kind of person
who like just believes you know everything.
And I always find myself like somebody will say something kind of crazy.
And I'm like, wow, you're out of your mind.
And then in my head, I'm like, wait a minute, wait a minute.
Just because it sounds a little crazy doesn't make it completely untrue.
Maybe I just don't understand it yet.
Maybe I need to learn a little bit more.
And there have been so many times where I have heard something crazy and then looked
into it a little bit and been like, you know what?
You know, it's not real, but there's some real elements to it.
Yeah.
I'm the same way with conspiracy theories.
Like I I don't believe conspiracy theories.
Do I?
Yeah, me neither.
Do I entertain them?
I do in a sense that I don't entertain that they're real.
I do in the sense that they're entertaining to me.
Yes.
And I do.
And I do understand that people will believe them.
And I actually have been trying to reach out to people because May.
Wait, where are you?
This is May, right?
Are we in May?
Yeah.
May?
Still.
May has just started.
May is Mental Health Awareness Month.
And I do want to try and get someone who is more of an expert than us on I want to have
a good discussion on conspiracy thought and why people get into conspiracy thought.
Yes.
And I'm working on that now.
So hopefully by the end of the month, we'll have like a good mental health awareness style
episode on that.
That's I'm in.
But I feel like this like coast to coast AM is a good.
Coast to coast AM is a good breaking point from where you go from like the coast to coast
is where you go when you're like intrigued by aliens and conspiracy thoughts.
But it's a weird gateway drug because I listened to coast to coast AM because it was entertaining
and it was funny.
Coast to coast other listeners, they'll listen to coast to coast and then they'll branch
off and they'll take it seriously and they'll go to.
And then Alex Jones becomes something that doesn't sound as crazy.
They'll go to Alex Jones or even later on.
Like nowadays, it's like Steven Crowder or like who's that dude that was with Kanye fucking
Fuentes, Nick Fuentes, that kind of stuff like coast to coast AM has that weird thing.
But Mel's hole was one of those things where like God damn episode two, we got to tighten
it up.
We got to tighten it up.
You got to tighten that hole up.
Yeah, but it's too loose.
The hole is too loose.
But Mel's hole, like it's one of those things that like it didn't matter if it was like
a are like people truly like were like kind of concerned for this man.
Like it was like a weird thing.
Like they people rallied around him.
You know what I mean?
Like I'm going to say this and it's going to sound funny.
I don't mean it to be funny.
People wanted to get to the bottom of Mel's hole.
Yeah, no, they did.
They did.
Yeah.
And I'm not saying that to be a smart ass.
It's going to sound funny.
The truth is, I want to know what the fucking deal with the with Mel's hole is like, I want
to know what's going on in there.
Well, God damn it.
I can't you can't help it, but sound ridiculous when you say Mel's hole.
So you know, it's fucked up is that it's not fucked up.
It's cool.
But Mel's hole actually inspired a TV show starring Josh Brolin.
And it's on Amazon.
Season.
What's it called?
Season two comes out this week.
It's called Outer Range.
It's really good.
OK.
It's literally Mel's hole.
Like it's like it's you can't watch the watch season one.
Now knowing the story.
That's what I'll check it out.
It's good.
But spoiler alert for episode two.
There might be more than one of Mel's holes.
Mel's Mel's got more than one hole.
He said double penetration situation.
Mel may have more than one hole.
He's just getting filled out like an application, isn't he?
I think that's a good deal.
I want to put I want to put my finger Mel's hole.
Well, I can't give you any spoilers, so we're just going to move on.
All right.
Thank you so much for listening, everyone.
Sorry for how immature this episode.
I'm a big child, guys, and I apologize for my behavior.
I am being serious when I say I genuinely do want to know how where this story goes,
because I'm actually very fascinated now.
I've never heard of this before.
This might be a three partner.
There's a lot to this.
I'm OK with that.
I'm along for the ride.
I now have learned that I got to choose my words carefully.
There's a lot going on in all things.
So it might be a three party.
Anyways, if you want to follow us on Instagram, follow us at Crypto Cocktail,
Tick Tock Crypto Cocktail Party.
If you want to follow Sarge on all of his social medias, you can do that by following
the link tree in the Crypto Cocktail Instagram.
Sarge, you got anything you want to plug?
Yes.
Citizens Guide to the Supernormal, my podcast.
We went on hiatus for a long time.
We are coming out with a new episode.
I don't know exactly when it's going to drop.
It'll probably drop before.
Our next episode drops, but that's OK.
I'm going to let you know about it when we record next week.
I will let you know when Citizens Guide to the Supernormal is coming out.
Hell yeah.
We are.
Our first episode is actually going to be about execution methods because we like to
cover weird shit.
So it's Citizens Guide to the Supernormal and we are on all podcast platforms as well.
So yeah, I'll keep you guys posted.
But that's coming up.
I'm working with Maynard, who is actually my next door neighbor, and his lovely wife,
Laura.
And we are not as well researched as this podcast, but we do like to make immature jokes.
So Mel's Hole is certainly going to be something that we are all going to listen to and laugh
about.
Yeah.
But yeah, thank you.
Find us on Instagram and all the other socials and Citizens Guide to the Supernormal should
be coming out soon.
Awesome.
And if you want to support us on Patreon, me and Sarge, and by that I mean me.
Just kidding.
Yeah, just him really, because he's got to pay for the show.
I just I just show up.
He does all the work.
It's a yeah.
I'm emotional support.
I'm an emotional support, Sarge.
Patreon.com.
Go to the cocktail party and it's five dollars a month.
You'll get unedited full video of the show.
And I think that's you know, we'll and then we'll come up with some other stuff, maybe
some stickers, but it doesn't matter.
Either way, it's five dollars a month.
I'm happy.
I'm happy to like, I don't know, have a weird reaction to a statement for you on video.
You want me to wish somebody a happy birthday that I don't know?
Yeah, I'll do whatever.
Yeah, he'll literally do whatever for five dollars.
It doesn't matter what it is.
Yeah, I've got I'll show you my nipples.
We'll do that.
All right, sorry.
Do you want to say goodbye to everyone?
I love you.