1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:27,880 Hey everybody, welcome back to another episode of Cryptic Cocktail Party, a show where we 2 00:00:27,880 --> 00:00:31,840 have a few drinks, share a few laughs, take a dive into the unknown. I'm your host Dave 3 00:00:31,840 --> 00:00:37,880 and today I'm joined once again by Sarge minus Maynard. How's it going buddy? 4 00:00:37,880 --> 00:00:45,800 Hey oh, sorry that Maynard couldn't make it. I'm disappointed that Maynard couldn't be 5 00:00:45,800 --> 00:00:49,600 here but he had a family engagement. 6 00:00:49,600 --> 00:00:50,600 Oh okay. 7 00:00:50,600 --> 00:00:55,560 No, it's not another funeral, it's fine. It was a family thing. 8 00:00:55,560 --> 00:00:58,760 You said family and I thought it was going to be family emergency and that was going 9 00:00:58,760 --> 00:01:02,240 to feel like a huge piece of shit. 10 00:01:02,240 --> 00:01:06,440 No it was a family engagement. I would have given you a heads up if like someone died. 11 00:01:06,440 --> 00:01:11,120 No, he just he had some family stuff, you know, some get together with fam and so he 12 00:01:11,120 --> 00:01:16,200 couldn't be here. So I'm going to be here for both of us. And I'm joined by my my eight 13 00:01:16,200 --> 00:01:21,640 year old son who's hiding currently. But he is going to be getting me beers while we record. 14 00:01:21,640 --> 00:01:27,360 So God, I need kids now. That's that sounds like the I mean I could train my dogs to bring 15 00:01:27,360 --> 00:01:29,080 me beer. I feel like that's a thing. 16 00:01:29,080 --> 00:01:37,200 He also does an excellent an excellent chupacabra impression. But he's yeah, you can kind of 17 00:01:37,200 --> 00:01:43,040 hear him in the background. He's just making weird noise. That's my boy. Very proud of 18 00:01:43,040 --> 00:01:44,040 him. 19 00:01:44,040 --> 00:01:46,920 But how's it going man? You're doing good. You're looking good. I know you just got a 20 00:01:46,920 --> 00:01:48,720 thank you. You just got your degree. 21 00:01:48,720 --> 00:01:54,720 I did. I got a master's degree. You talked about it on the last episode. That was that 22 00:01:54,720 --> 00:01:56,800 was forever ago. How long ago was that? 23 00:01:56,800 --> 00:02:02,720 Oh, God, I can't even remember. I feel it feels like it was a long time ago. But time, 24 00:02:02,720 --> 00:02:10,640 you know, it's a flat circle as as we found out from True Detective One. It's I have no 25 00:02:10,640 --> 00:02:16,720 concept of time because I've been working so much in doing college and raising children 26 00:02:16,720 --> 00:02:20,200 and training the service dog. So I have no concept of time. 27 00:02:20,200 --> 00:02:23,000 Either way, it feels like it was a really long time ago. 28 00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:27,400 I'm proud of you, bud. That's fucking awesome. I don't have a degree. My my my I know the 29 00:02:27,400 --> 00:02:32,120 struggles of getting your master's just because my wife did it. So I I was I was I was the 30 00:02:32,120 --> 00:02:34,600 supportive spouse, which I'm sure. 31 00:02:34,600 --> 00:02:38,440 Honestly, you have a degree by proxy. You suffered through it. 32 00:02:38,440 --> 00:02:43,600 Yeah, because now eventually she'll make enough money for me to be like a stay at home husband. 33 00:02:43,600 --> 00:02:46,840 You know, so it's fine. Oh, God, that's a fucking dream, isn't it? 34 00:02:46,840 --> 00:02:51,280 Oh, but I'm glad I'm shoving myself to work every day. 35 00:02:51,280 --> 00:02:56,480 You're right, dude. I'm pretty sure you told me off air that you work from home. So yeah, 36 00:02:56,480 --> 00:03:02,400 no, it's a it's a hell of a commute, though. I wake up and I have to walk over to my desk. 37 00:03:02,400 --> 00:03:07,320 It's fucking nuts. Bed. Bed to office is a is a struggle. I get it. 38 00:03:07,320 --> 00:03:12,920 It is. It is. Well, we also talked about our our struggles with our former retail life. 39 00:03:12,920 --> 00:03:20,600 Yeah, we share the we share the retail scars, the emotional scars on our bodies, both physical 40 00:03:20,600 --> 00:03:25,600 and mental. So I say emotional scars, but, you know, there's plenty of physical scars. 41 00:03:25,600 --> 00:03:30,320 I've never been in the service you have, though, but I always agree my time in retail as being 42 00:03:30,320 --> 00:03:34,440 like it's like people that say like if you've never worked in a kitchen, you'll never understand 43 00:03:34,440 --> 00:03:37,960 kitchen life. It's the same thing. Right. You'll never understand retail life until 44 00:03:37,960 --> 00:03:42,480 you've worked in retail. And we both worked in the shittiest parts of retail. 45 00:03:42,480 --> 00:03:48,280 Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Absolutely. I'll tell you right now. I there are a few things in 46 00:03:48,280 --> 00:03:57,760 the world that made me miss Iraq. But working at Target during Covid is at the top of the 47 00:03:57,760 --> 00:04:04,280 list because at least when I was in Iraq, I knew who the bad guys were. Yeah. You know, 48 00:04:04,280 --> 00:04:09,200 because if they were shooting at me, they were a problem. But at Target, it was it was 49 00:04:09,200 --> 00:04:13,560 your friends that were trying to take you down sometimes. Yeah, it was it was it was 50 00:04:13,560 --> 00:04:18,760 it was the the the top brass, if you will, of Target. Yeah. Just trying to just bring 51 00:04:18,760 --> 00:04:23,600 you down. And it's a nightmare. It's all bad. Exactly. At least at Target, you knew not 52 00:04:23,600 --> 00:04:30,720 to trust the locals at all. Well, did they not? I'm sorry. In Iraq, in Iraq, you didn't 53 00:04:30,720 --> 00:04:35,440 you knew not to trust the locals at Target. You had no idea what you were coming up on. 54 00:04:35,440 --> 00:04:38,480 You had no idea what you were coming up against. They were either going to be a friend or they 55 00:04:38,480 --> 00:04:42,640 were going to try to get you to give them 10 percent off because there was a tear in 56 00:04:42,640 --> 00:04:49,360 the packaging. But I worked there during Covid. If you got if you got your Target circle card, 57 00:04:49,360 --> 00:04:55,480 you get 10 percent off. Oh, so it doesn't matter. You know, the Target circle card. 58 00:04:55,480 --> 00:04:59,280 You know, it was awkward. It was calling up Target afterwards and being like, hey, I got 59 00:04:59,280 --> 00:05:04,800 fired. I need my circle card moved to my personal email. Yeah. No, I did the same thing. It 60 00:05:04,800 --> 00:05:08,460 was it was an awkward and I told you that I know called no showed. I just didn't go back. 61 00:05:08,460 --> 00:05:19,240 So yeah, you know, it's even worse is that I after I had quit, scheduled my Covid my 62 00:05:19,240 --> 00:05:26,360 Covid shots at the CVS pharmacy at the Target I worked at. So I had to go in. I love that 63 00:05:26,360 --> 00:05:31,040 after I just no called no showed and like tried to be like I did hood up like fucking 64 00:05:31,040 --> 00:05:36,600 like I was like Eminem and eight mile like and just like real quick. That's a total boss 65 00:05:36,600 --> 00:05:42,560 move. That's a boss move right there. It was bad because like our the CVS, the pharmacy 66 00:05:42,560 --> 00:05:46,320 was right next to where the the locked door is where you put in your number to get into 67 00:05:46,320 --> 00:05:52,200 like the office. Yep. So I was like, fuck, I really hope no one comes out that that sees 68 00:05:52,200 --> 00:05:58,700 me. It'd be so bad if anybody wants the code to the the Target door in Lemonster, Massachusetts, 69 00:05:58,700 --> 00:06:04,240 you just let me know. I'll pass it on. Oh, yeah. Well, our our store had to change because 70 00:06:04,240 --> 00:06:10,960 you. Sorry, excuse me. I don't know if I should say this, but most Target locked doors, the 71 00:06:10,960 --> 00:06:23,720 code is the store number. Yep. I don't know if I should say that. Really trying to keep 72 00:06:23,720 --> 00:06:28,720 you out of there. You can't find it as long as you don't know how to Google the store. 73 00:06:28,720 --> 00:06:33,400 All right, Sarge. I love you, buddy. Thank you so much for coming on. I know I made you 74 00:06:33,400 --> 00:06:38,880 wait a little while. That's OK. It was worth the wait. You're a big cryptids guy. Maybe 75 00:06:38,880 --> 00:06:44,400 not big. I really don't know your affiliation. No, I am. I am. I have I actually have a Mothman 76 00:06:44,400 --> 00:06:49,360 action figure. And last episode you were wearing your Mothman hat and I believe a T-shirt as 77 00:06:49,360 --> 00:06:55,480 well. You were you were decked out even though you were sitting so far back compared to Maynard 78 00:06:55,480 --> 00:07:01,880 Maynard was full. I wanted you to see it. I wanted you to know how I felt about cryptids. 79 00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:07,400 Now I'm wearing my more trees, less assholes shirt. I was going to wear I have a Bigfoot 80 00:07:07,400 --> 00:07:12,840 shirt, but it's all it's all wrinkly and messed up because I just I don't do laundry. Well, 81 00:07:12,840 --> 00:07:17,560 I just kind of wash it and then throw it in a pile. So that's a great segue into our episode 82 00:07:17,560 --> 00:07:22,280 today. Oh, is it? It is. I'm glad I brought it up. Are you are you a believer? Are you 83 00:07:22,280 --> 00:07:28,880 a believer in Bigfoot? I feel like it would be naive for me to assume that that there 84 00:07:28,880 --> 00:07:35,760 are no cryptids, right? Because back back in the in the in the late 1800s, they were like, 85 00:07:35,760 --> 00:07:39,840 there's no way there's cryptids. And then they discovered gorillas. Yeah. And that's 86 00:07:39,840 --> 00:07:46,240 a pretty big fucking animal to not know that was there, you know. So I feel like there's 87 00:07:46,240 --> 00:07:50,160 a chance that there's some weird shit out there that we don't know about yet. I don't 88 00:07:50,160 --> 00:07:57,140 know if Bigfoot is one of them. If I drink a root beer, I might go into a deep story 89 00:07:57,140 --> 00:08:04,680 about possibilities of interdimensional travel. And that's why all the footage is blurry, 90 00:08:04,680 --> 00:08:10,320 because that you know, but long story short, I don't close the door on anything. Like I'm 91 00:08:10,320 --> 00:08:15,520 an atheist, but I'm still not going to, you know, piss off God if I can avoid it. Same 92 00:08:15,520 --> 00:08:20,160 thing. I'm exactly the same way. I am an atheist, but at the same time, like not believing God 93 00:08:20,160 --> 00:08:27,120 won't make me not be a good person. Yeah. Yeah. I want to fuck over people. But two, 94 00:08:27,120 --> 00:08:31,040 just in case there might. Yeah. I feel like that's more agnostic than anything, but I'll 95 00:08:31,040 --> 00:08:35,360 still say I'm an atheist. You know, but anyways, I only ask you this so I can segue into my 96 00:08:35,360 --> 00:08:40,040 own script that I had written. I know you've been desperately trying to segue and I keep 97 00:08:40,040 --> 00:08:44,920 fucking sandbagging you. Your shirt was the segue, but now your answer is segueing into 98 00:08:44,920 --> 00:08:51,160 my script because I wrote down my response to your answer just now. So, okay, good, good, 99 00:08:51,160 --> 00:08:55,320 good. I mean, I can just do this from the top of my head. I am not a huge believer in 100 00:08:55,320 --> 00:09:00,120 Bigfoot and I've mentioned this like in passing on the show before, like several times and 101 00:09:00,120 --> 00:09:06,880 I don't really have a good reason to like not believe in Bigfoot because I believe in 102 00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:12,040 a lot of stupid shit. Do you know what I mean? Like maybe, well, yeah, you know what I mean? 103 00:09:12,040 --> 00:09:18,000 And I think the reason behind it is because like there's been fucking way too many sightings 104 00:09:18,000 --> 00:09:22,080 of a Bigfoot and not enough like concrete evidence. Do you know what I mean? Like there's 105 00:09:22,080 --> 00:09:29,600 been something like 10,000 reported Bigfoot sightings in the US alone. But like all we 106 00:09:29,600 --> 00:09:37,040 get from it is either like Motorola Razr, like flip phone quality photos and videos. 107 00:09:37,040 --> 00:09:38,040 Come on. 108 00:09:38,040 --> 00:09:42,040 Yeah. And I'm trying to figure out, like this is my problem with Bigfoot. I want to believe, 109 00:09:42,040 --> 00:09:47,920 I desperately want there to be a large hairy man who lives in the woods that isn't me. 110 00:09:47,920 --> 00:09:55,600 But the problem that I have is that all of the camera footage is blurry and cell phones 111 00:09:55,600 --> 00:10:00,760 have just come too far for them to still be blurry. I can take a picture of the moon and 112 00:10:00,760 --> 00:10:01,760 you can see. 113 00:10:01,760 --> 00:10:09,720 I'm filming this on a phone. You know what I mean? Like, I should be, I'm in focus because 114 00:10:09,720 --> 00:10:13,760 you know what, like, I mean, but there are theories that like, oh, people are afraid 115 00:10:13,760 --> 00:10:17,520 they're general is rushing. So they're shaking and they take the picture, but like, come 116 00:10:17,520 --> 00:10:23,520 on, come on. I got a picture. I get a picture of the sun from my cell phone during the eclipse 117 00:10:23,520 --> 00:10:30,520 and you can see a sunspot. So yeah, knock it off. All right. Let's, let's be real. You, 118 00:10:30,520 --> 00:10:34,840 your buddy put on a funny gorilla suit and was walking around in the woods. You wanted 119 00:10:34,840 --> 00:10:41,520 to play it off, but let's not pretend that that's, that's real Bigfoot. Like I, if I 120 00:10:41,520 --> 00:10:48,440 see a good photo of Bigfoot, like I'm not even asking for like, you know, perfect quality. 121 00:10:48,440 --> 00:10:54,160 You're not looking for 4k HD, like posed picture, like just something that's not like, and half 122 00:10:54,160 --> 00:10:59,240 the times I feel like the photos of Bigfoot that we see is just like a dark spot behind 123 00:10:59,240 --> 00:11:04,600 leaves and like the leaves are making, are making the facial like, cause our brain does 124 00:11:04,600 --> 00:11:10,360 this thing where we do try to like make faces out of things that aren't there. So we could 125 00:11:10,360 --> 00:11:15,240 just being the, we could just be seeing the trunk of the tree and then like the leaves 126 00:11:15,240 --> 00:11:21,720 and like the little swirls. Exactly. But also there's too many types of Bigfoot's. All right. 127 00:11:21,720 --> 00:11:26,240 We got bad. Just like hold your phone steady so we can figure out what the shit is. My 128 00:11:26,240 --> 00:11:31,400 eight year old has ADD so bad that he looks like he's vibrating all the time and I can 129 00:11:31,400 --> 00:11:37,000 still get a good solid picture of him on my phone. Yeah. Like a Chihuahua. Yeah. He's, 130 00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:42,640 he's basically, he's just constantly shivering from energy. Yeah. But also, like I said, 131 00:11:42,640 --> 00:11:47,680 there's also too many different types of Bigfoot. So we got, we got bat squash, which is Bigfoot 132 00:11:47,680 --> 00:11:52,080 with wings, the Yeti that's cold Bigfoot. We've got the woods devil, Skunk Ape, we've 133 00:11:52,080 --> 00:11:56,220 got the woods devil New Hampshire, which is just skinny Bigfoot and on and on. But there's 134 00:11:56,220 --> 00:12:00,740 one classification of Bigfoot that I think is just way too good to not cover, even though 135 00:12:00,740 --> 00:12:08,040 I don't fully believe in the whole concept of it. And that is laid on me. This class, 136 00:12:08,040 --> 00:12:12,240 I need to know this classification was coined by famed you, you, you, you, you, you, you, 137 00:12:12,240 --> 00:12:17,920 ufologist, ufologist, however you want to pronounce it, an author of the Mothman prophecies, 138 00:12:17,920 --> 00:12:25,880 John Keel. And that classification of Bigfoot is abominable swamp slobs or ass for short. 139 00:12:25,880 --> 00:12:32,320 This is 100% true. I feel like he knew what he was doing when he named that. Yeah. He's 140 00:12:32,320 --> 00:12:38,440 like, I'm going to make everyone giggle with this. So, so asses are used to or abominable 141 00:12:38,440 --> 00:12:44,760 swamp slobs. Are you? He wins. He wins because I laughed. Are used to describe humanoid cryptids 142 00:12:44,760 --> 00:12:51,000 that mainly are reported around wetlands, rivers, lakes, bayous of the United States 143 00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:55,760 has been used to describe, like you said, the skunk ape, also the, the, the Fuque monster 144 00:12:55,760 --> 00:13:00,720 and the Enfield monster. They're all examples of asses. All right. Okay. But there's one 145 00:13:00,720 --> 00:13:06,340 ass in particular that I want to talk about today. And that ass is known as the Murfreesboro 146 00:13:06,340 --> 00:13:10,960 mud monster. Are you familiar with the Murfreesboro mud monster? No, but I'm going to be honest 147 00:13:10,960 --> 00:13:16,540 with you. When you're talking about mud and asses, I immediately went to Taco bell in 148 00:13:16,540 --> 00:13:23,600 my head. That's why it's such a fun subject in the way. Just a mud dragon is what it is. 149 00:13:23,600 --> 00:13:29,960 So, so, so Murfreesboro is a small town in Illinois that boasts about a population of 150 00:13:29,960 --> 00:13:35,680 about like 7,000, I think it's like 7,100 kind of thing. Uh, and according to its Wikipedia 151 00:13:35,680 --> 00:13:41,920 page has no one of note hailing from there. Uh, yeah, that tracks that are, that are like 152 00:13:41,920 --> 00:13:47,960 currently alive. And anyways, uh, besides the us house representative, Mike boast boss, 153 00:13:47,960 --> 00:13:53,480 I don't know who that is, but it was the setting for Melissa McCarthy movie and was featured 154 00:13:53,480 --> 00:13:59,120 on TLC show, uh, barbecue pit masters. So that's kind of fun. Okay. That's enough of 155 00:13:59,120 --> 00:14:03,000 a reason to go there. I'll go anywhere for barbecue. Yeah. But we're not here to talk 156 00:14:03,000 --> 00:14:10,440 about the barbecue. We're here to talk about the asses. So the, the, the Murfreesboro mud 157 00:14:10,440 --> 00:14:17,800 monster also known as the big muddy monster was first spotted around. Get it together 158 00:14:17,800 --> 00:14:23,480 man. We're trying to do an episode here. There have been so many times where I have gotten 159 00:14:23,480 --> 00:14:28,920 thoroughly intoxicated and eaten Chinese food. And then the next morning created the exact 160 00:14:28,920 --> 00:14:33,880 same thing. The Murfreesboro mud monster. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Or the, or the big muddy monster. 161 00:14:33,880 --> 00:14:42,280 Either, either works just fine monster. So the launching of the SSC pickle, the Murfreesboro 162 00:14:42,280 --> 00:14:49,800 mud monster was first spotted on midnight on June 25th, 1973, a young couple named Randy 163 00:14:49,800 --> 00:14:55,280 Needham and Judy Johnson were parked near the old boat ramp in Riverside park. Uh, probably 164 00:14:55,280 --> 00:15:00,000 doing some neck and whatever it is couples back in the seventies. Yeah. You know, yeah. 165 00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:03,580 So the couple was tearing it up. I get it. The couple was sitting in their car listening 166 00:15:03,580 --> 00:15:07,560 to the radio or at least that's what they told people. I'm good. I'm assuming that Randy 167 00:15:07,560 --> 00:15:17,280 was just straight up knuckle deep at this point. Maxi ear muffs finger blast in his 168 00:15:17,280 --> 00:15:22,960 way to glory. Oh, for sure. Uh, when all of a sudden they heard an ear piercing roar that 169 00:15:22,960 --> 00:15:27,320 seemed to be coming from the thick underbrush near where they had parked. Randy equated 170 00:15:27,320 --> 00:15:32,680 the roar to that of an eagle shrieking into a microphone, which is the most American thing 171 00:15:32,680 --> 00:15:39,120 that I could think of. So that is God bless our troops. That's, that was fucking amazing. 172 00:15:39,120 --> 00:15:42,920 Now instead of just calling it a night and getting like the fuck out of there, Randy 173 00:15:42,920 --> 00:15:49,080 decided that he wanted both of them to become real life horror movie victims. Uh, he turned 174 00:15:49,080 --> 00:15:53,800 off the radio and scanned the surrounding area, listening and looking very carefully 175 00:15:53,800 --> 00:15:59,440 to see if he could spot whatever it was that made that noise suddenly another roar. But 176 00:15:59,440 --> 00:16:04,080 this time they caught a glimpse of some movement in the brush. So Randy flipped on his headlights, 177 00:16:04,080 --> 00:16:09,600 which I mean, that should have been the first thing you did when you heard the first roar. 178 00:16:09,600 --> 00:16:14,200 Yeah. I mean, hold on, give Randy some credit. Maybe it was just an aggressive queef. You 179 00:16:14,200 --> 00:16:20,440 don't know. That is the problem when you, you know, when you're quote unquote finger 180 00:16:20,440 --> 00:16:25,360 blasting your way to glory is that you get a little digging when you're digging for gold, 181 00:16:25,360 --> 00:16:29,640 you get a little, you don't know what's coming up. You get a little too aggressive. That 182 00:16:29,640 --> 00:16:35,680 makes sense. But illuminated by the car's headlights, they both saw a massive stinky 183 00:16:35,680 --> 00:16:41,600 as hell creature moving towards them. Uh, Randy, Randy put that shit in gear and got 184 00:16:41,600 --> 00:16:48,280 the hell out of there as fast as he could. Now once the couple had made it back to civilization, 185 00:16:48,280 --> 00:16:52,000 they drove around a bit and like a pretty much like a deafening silence inside the car 186 00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:56,040 before having the conversation of what to do next. You know, do they keep quiet? Do 187 00:16:56,040 --> 00:17:00,960 they go to the police? Do they just fucking go to another secluded spot to continue whatever 188 00:17:00,960 --> 00:17:07,640 they were doing beforehand? Either way, I mean, an aggressive, like a serious, heavy, 189 00:17:07,640 --> 00:17:17,120 thick silence also follows a queef. So the story is not good. Well, so the reason why 190 00:17:17,120 --> 00:17:20,960 they're trying to figure it out, like, like for most people, when you encounter like a 191 00:17:20,960 --> 00:17:25,040 cryptid or an alien or something paranormal, not wanting to go to the police or report 192 00:17:25,040 --> 00:17:30,040 it and like in any like official capacity, it's like a normal thought process. But usually 193 00:17:30,040 --> 00:17:35,120 that's because the witnesses, they're afraid of like ridicule, like what the town will 194 00:17:35,120 --> 00:17:39,040 think of them. You know, the young kids, they're necking in the woods. They don't want to tell 195 00:17:39,040 --> 00:17:42,560 anybody they were fooling around in the woods. I get it. Well, that's kind of the thing. 196 00:17:42,560 --> 00:17:46,200 So for, for Judy and Randy, it was like, it was like a little bit different. So their romance 197 00:17:46,200 --> 00:17:52,080 was technically a forbidden one. Apparently, Judy's dad didn't approve of Randy. So Judy 198 00:17:52,080 --> 00:17:56,800 knew that going to the police would reveal like their illicit affair. As a father of 199 00:17:56,800 --> 00:18:01,840 a 15 year old girl, I don't approve of any man named Randy dating my daughter. You know, 200 00:18:01,840 --> 00:18:09,040 it's wild. Not the only Randy in the story. That is alarming more than anything. I'm concerned 201 00:18:09,040 --> 00:18:14,240 at this point. But, but Judy being the patriotic citizen that she is knew that whatever trouble 202 00:18:14,240 --> 00:18:19,440 she got into with her dad was nothing compared to what would happen if this big hairy ass 203 00:18:19,440 --> 00:18:25,160 were to go to a rampage through town. So they headed to the Murfreesboro police station 204 00:18:25,160 --> 00:18:29,760 to give their statement. Now you never want to get in the way of interrupting. You never 205 00:18:29,760 --> 00:18:35,760 want to interrupt the emergence of a mud monster, you know? No, the couple filled out what is 206 00:18:35,760 --> 00:18:41,180 apparently known as an unknown creature report. And I did not know that this was like a thing 207 00:18:41,180 --> 00:18:45,440 that the police just had. I don't know if it was like a form like, oh, here's an unknown 208 00:18:45,440 --> 00:18:50,040 creature report form. But anyways, they filled out an unknown creature report. They stated 209 00:18:50,040 --> 00:18:55,960 in the report that they witnessed an oversized, they described it as an oversized gorilla 210 00:18:55,960 --> 00:19:02,400 standing roughly eight feet tall with white matted mud streaked hair. Ron, Ron, I don't 211 00:19:02,400 --> 00:19:08,640 know how to pronounce his last name. Ron Marwet, Mar, man wearing, man warring. I don't know. 212 00:19:08,640 --> 00:19:14,160 He was a patrolman at the time. And he remembered this incident, uh, like off the top of his 213 00:19:14,160 --> 00:19:18,400 head when he was interviewed later on. And he said that quote, the first report came 214 00:19:18,400 --> 00:19:24,600 in just before midnight on June 25th, a couple had been parked, quote unquote. And that's 215 00:19:24,600 --> 00:19:29,920 in his statement near the boat dock on the southwestern edge of Riverside park next to 216 00:19:29,920 --> 00:19:35,520 the woods. The two who were not married said they heard a loud screaming sound in the wooded 217 00:19:35,520 --> 00:19:40,320 area and observed a large creature, approximately seven to eight feet tall. The creature appeared 218 00:19:40,320 --> 00:19:44,200 to have needs to settle the fuck down. Who cares if they weren't married? Why is that 219 00:19:44,200 --> 00:19:50,020 even included in this? It comes up again. Okay. All right. The truest thing you've said 220 00:19:50,020 --> 00:19:55,720 so far is that there's a cop named Ron in the small town. Yeah. Oh dude, just wait about 221 00:19:55,720 --> 00:20:03,920 small town cops. You get ahead of yourself. Uh, so if there's a skeeter, I'm out. The 222 00:20:03,920 --> 00:20:08,200 creature appeared to have white colored hair, matted with mud. The creature appeared to 223 00:20:08,200 --> 00:20:14,200 be walking on two legs and was proceeding towards the car. End quote. Now officer man 224 00:20:14,200 --> 00:20:19,520 warring to his credit kind of believed the young couple or at least believed that like 225 00:20:19,520 --> 00:20:25,840 they believed what they had saw kind of thing. Okay. Uh, his reasoning as to why he believed 226 00:20:25,840 --> 00:20:30,520 them was quote, there was no advantage of them coming. There's, there was no advantage 227 00:20:30,520 --> 00:20:36,480 of them to come up and report this end quote. And the reason, right. Because they, you know, 228 00:20:36,480 --> 00:20:41,240 if they reported the police, they're basically risking like exposing their secret relationship, 229 00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:46,440 which in turn would bring ridicule from the town due to the fact that as he said it before, 230 00:20:46,440 --> 00:20:51,680 they weren't married and they were parked by the river. Clearly finger blasting and 231 00:20:51,680 --> 00:20:57,200 sin. There we go. Uh, but also they were going to, Judy's dad was going to be pissed and 232 00:20:57,200 --> 00:21:01,200 they, they really stressed about Judy's dad. There's no information about Judy's dad, but 233 00:21:01,200 --> 00:21:04,560 it sounds like he's a piece of shit. Like everyone in town. Yeah. He's a real dick. 234 00:21:04,560 --> 00:21:11,360 It sounds like he was. So he kind of really had no look, Judy's dad. He's just trying 235 00:21:11,360 --> 00:21:19,180 to get some guts. Let it go. Not a big deal. So pretty much he really had, they're trying 236 00:21:19,180 --> 00:21:25,280 to christen the Volvo. Calm down, bro. But yeah. So, so the officer really had no choice 237 00:21:25,280 --> 00:21:32,760 to like kind of take the matter somewhat seriously, but also skeptical. So he dispatched two patrolmen 238 00:21:32,760 --> 00:21:36,800 who were tasked with like heading out to the area to check out the claims. And those were 239 00:21:36,800 --> 00:21:42,480 officers, Merrill Lindsay, which is two girls last night, first names, which I love and 240 00:21:42,480 --> 00:21:48,160 Jimmy Nash. Is this like a boy named boy named Sue situation? It's very much like you need 241 00:21:48,160 --> 00:21:55,120 to be tough Merrill. So they arrived just minutes after like the initial sightings occurred, 242 00:21:55,120 --> 00:22:00,440 not long after arriving officer Nash discovered some weird tracks that he says they were about 243 00:22:00,440 --> 00:22:06,200 10 to 12 inches long and about three inches wide, deeply imprinted in the mud. That's 244 00:22:06,200 --> 00:22:11,640 not that big for an eight foot tall creature, right? Right. I feel like that's a little 245 00:22:11,640 --> 00:22:20,240 small. Yeah. What state did you say this was? Illinois. Not that I'm an expert in mud consistency 246 00:22:20,240 --> 00:22:25,960 state to state, but you know, in New Hampshire, when you go hiking in the woods, I mean, if 247 00:22:25,960 --> 00:22:29,360 the, if, you know, if it's wet enough, you're going to leave, you're going to leave a deep 248 00:22:29,360 --> 00:22:34,520 imprint. It's just a normal size person. Yeah. You're going to leave like, you know, up to, 249 00:22:34,520 --> 00:22:37,920 up to six inches, you could leave in the mud up there or you'll lose your whole goddamn 250 00:22:37,920 --> 00:22:41,040 boot. You know, an imprint when you see it. They also said that this, I didn't get this 251 00:22:41,040 --> 00:22:45,060 from this source or sound the script, but I did read that like the, the officer said 252 00:22:45,060 --> 00:22:50,120 that it was almost like a man wearing a shoe and that maybe quote unquote, the toes weren't 253 00:22:50,120 --> 00:22:55,720 imprinted in the mud. Come on. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like this is a dude in 12 inch 254 00:22:55,720 --> 00:23:02,560 shoes. They're just going a long way to cover up this aggressive queef is what I'm saying. 255 00:23:02,560 --> 00:23:06,520 They're like, that was loud. I know people in town heard it. Let's get the boot with 256 00:23:06,520 --> 00:23:13,480 the, with the, let's pretend it's Sasquatch. It was midnight in a small town in Illinois. 257 00:23:13,480 --> 00:23:18,600 If that would have reverberated off the water, they're on the water that water carry sound. 258 00:23:18,600 --> 00:23:24,120 You ever heard a loon that loon could be miles away and you're hearing it off the water. 259 00:23:24,120 --> 00:23:33,760 So she, she might want to get checked out. So like I said, it seems a bit small, but 260 00:23:33,760 --> 00:23:39,520 as Nash bent over to inspect the prints further, he claimed he heard quote, the most incredible 261 00:23:39,520 --> 00:23:46,000 shriek I have ever heard. It was in the bushes. It was no Bobcat or screech owl and quote 262 00:23:46,000 --> 00:23:51,600 the officers officers had estimated that whatever made the sound was less than 300 feet away 263 00:23:51,600 --> 00:23:58,580 from them, which is also very far. So they fucking booked it out of there. And Nash, 264 00:23:58,580 --> 00:24:05,640 the officer was so startled and moved so quickly that he dropped his gun in the process. Now, 265 00:24:05,640 --> 00:24:14,160 can you imagine being so scared? You drop the one thing that's going to protect you. 266 00:24:14,160 --> 00:24:18,400 Exactly. But also I had to imagine it was holstered. Like I don't think he had it out. 267 00:24:18,400 --> 00:24:23,480 So he had to, he had to have moved in a fucking hurry to have it just pop out of his holster. 268 00:24:23,480 --> 00:24:27,920 That is the most small town cop thing I've ever heard in my entire life. Nash comes back 269 00:24:27,920 --> 00:24:33,760 to the story as well. He is the reason why military police officers in the military, 270 00:24:33,760 --> 00:24:42,960 I'm sorry, in the army, we have to have lanyards on our guns. He gets so scared you drop your 271 00:24:42,960 --> 00:24:46,800 gun in the holster. That's amazing. He was probably one of those like tiny revolvers 272 00:24:46,800 --> 00:24:52,800 to it was a revolver. It was a revolver. That's what they said. Now the two men, once they 273 00:24:52,800 --> 00:24:57,080 were back at the station, reported their findings and wrangled up a posse to go search for the 274 00:24:57,080 --> 00:25:01,640 monster. So now at this point, like I said, the initial sighting happens like right before 275 00:25:01,640 --> 00:25:08,080 midnight. So by now it's like 2am the next day. So that'd be what? June 20, June 26th. 276 00:25:08,080 --> 00:25:13,400 Now officers Nash and Lindsay are now joined by two more officers, Bob Scott and Needham. 277 00:25:13,400 --> 00:25:18,120 I don't know Needham's first name. There wasn't any sources that I could find, but they found 278 00:25:18,120 --> 00:25:23,920 another set of tracks almost immediately upon arriving. So Lindsay decided to grab a camera 279 00:25:23,920 --> 00:25:27,640 while the rest of the officers followed the tracks down the river bed. They didn't make 280 00:25:27,640 --> 00:25:32,400 it very far before they heard the same scream, the same scream that all the others had heard 281 00:25:32,400 --> 00:25:37,680 and said, fuck that and called off the search just like cower in their patrol car. So I'm 282 00:25:37,680 --> 00:25:42,280 out. The officers were eventually able to collect themselves and continue the search. 283 00:25:42,280 --> 00:25:46,640 But besides some tracks and some splashing sounds in the distance, they said the splashing 284 00:25:46,640 --> 00:25:51,120 sounds sounded like, like you ever been like in like knee deep water and try to move really 285 00:25:51,120 --> 00:25:54,920 fast? Yeah. That's the kind of like they said it sounded like a large creature, like trying 286 00:25:54,920 --> 00:25:59,560 to like run in knee deep water, but they didn't find anything besides just hearing that couple 287 00:25:59,560 --> 00:26:04,520 of things. So they figured, meh, whatever, you know, it was probably like a, like a misidentification 288 00:26:04,520 --> 00:26:08,960 or shadows and sounds in the night, like playing tricks on us. So once the sun came up, they 289 00:26:08,960 --> 00:26:13,680 decided to call the search, call it a day and figured that this would be like the last 290 00:26:13,680 --> 00:26:21,000 they heard of it. But they were, they were very wrong. So yeah, clearly because you're 291 00:26:21,000 --> 00:26:27,040 not going to stop the mud monster. No, you can't. I've tried coffee, brand muffin train 292 00:26:27,040 --> 00:26:31,000 ride. It's coming. You just got to get off the train quick enough to make sure you don't 293 00:26:31,000 --> 00:26:41,880 make a mess. So that night at about 1030 a PM, Christian Christian barrel, a five year 294 00:26:41,880 --> 00:26:47,840 old child was in his backyard catching fireflies in a mason jar. When from behind his neighbor, 295 00:26:47,840 --> 00:26:52,480 neighbor's fence, he saw a massive white figure standing on the other side. Pretty much scared 296 00:26:52,480 --> 00:26:57,760 shitless at this point. He drops the jar, ran into his house crying and screaming, daddy, 297 00:26:57,760 --> 00:27:01,920 daddy, there's a big ghost in the backyard. And his dad was like, calm down son. It's 298 00:27:01,920 --> 00:27:10,760 just a Mormon. So he said, well, so obviously the dad was like fucking, yeah, sure bud, 299 00:27:10,760 --> 00:27:15,920 whatever you say. But that is until the neighbors, the Ray family confirmed what the kid had 300 00:27:15,920 --> 00:27:21,520 seen. So at the same time, it was a Mormon son. Glenn Beck was in the backyard. So at 301 00:27:21,520 --> 00:27:27,920 the same time, the small kid that had seen this quote unquote ghost, Cheryl Ray and Randy 302 00:27:27,920 --> 00:27:32,960 Creath were sitting on the back porch with the light off, just like stargazing and talking 303 00:27:32,960 --> 00:27:36,960 when they heard a rustling in the bush, just feet away from the porch. They thought it 304 00:27:36,960 --> 00:27:41,160 was the neighbor's kids spying on them. And it turned out it was just that couple finger 305 00:27:41,160 --> 00:27:47,160 banging and they just didn't shave back then. So the bush rustling made sense. That tracks. 306 00:27:47,160 --> 00:27:52,920 So Cheryl went to turn on the light while Randy got up to, I guess, fight a small kid. 307 00:27:52,920 --> 00:27:58,660 I don't, he was pissed. But as, as the light turned on, they were greeted with the same 308 00:27:58,660 --> 00:28:03,240 creature so many had encountered the night before staring directly back at them. Cheryl 309 00:28:03,240 --> 00:28:09,960 described it as real tall, dirty, matted white hair, and it emitted a real bad odor that 310 00:28:09,960 --> 00:28:15,880 she said was quote really rank. The couple and the creature locked eyes and just kind 311 00:28:15,880 --> 00:28:20,060 of like stared at each other. The couple said that it felt like forever, but it was probably 312 00:28:20,060 --> 00:28:26,520 only like 30 seconds, which is still kind of like a long time to be like a staring contest 313 00:28:26,520 --> 00:28:30,760 with like a monster. But one thing that was in like their description that wasn't in any 314 00:28:30,760 --> 00:28:36,080 of the others is that they claim that the creature's eyes were glowing red. Cheryl said 315 00:28:36,080 --> 00:28:40,560 that it was a glow from a nearby streetlight, but Randy insisted that it was like actually 316 00:28:40,560 --> 00:28:48,520 like emitting red light. But either way, fuck that. And I don't want, so like the big foot 317 00:28:48,520 --> 00:28:56,100 had conjunctivitis as well. Pretty much. Yeah. It was a, yeah, it was very much pink eye, 318 00:28:56,100 --> 00:29:02,320 but also, but also, but also that makes that tracks. He's, he, he is an ass. So, yeah, 319 00:29:02,320 --> 00:29:09,960 yeah, no. I mean, I just, I just literally just recovered from conjunctivitis myself, 320 00:29:09,960 --> 00:29:15,480 but I got mine the day after the eclipse. So I blame the sun and possibly the moon. They 321 00:29:15,480 --> 00:29:19,320 might've been in cahoots with each other, but I needed a pregnant zone to get rid of 322 00:29:19,320 --> 00:29:24,520 it. I couldn't even take regular antibiotics and needed steroids as well. I feel like the 323 00:29:24,520 --> 00:29:29,440 moon, the moon seems like kind of like a bitch, right? Moon's kind of a dick. Yeah. Right. 324 00:29:29,440 --> 00:29:34,280 Like the moon is, the moon is that kid in high school who's like, wants you to believe 325 00:29:34,280 --> 00:29:43,120 he's a vampire, but he really just, he really just had a dad who was super absent. So he, 326 00:29:43,120 --> 00:29:47,480 you know, had to come up with his own personality that tracks, but he didn't have anybody be 327 00:29:47,480 --> 00:29:53,840 like, Hey, Kevin, don't wear a cape. That's weird. The mom's like, she's just creative. 328 00:29:53,840 --> 00:29:58,320 No, he's fucking weird. He's fucking weird. Samantha, Kevin, stop wearing the cape. But 329 00:29:58,320 --> 00:30:05,560 anyways, after the staring contest was over, the mud monster simply just like turned around 330 00:30:05,560 --> 00:30:11,120 and headed back down towards the nearby river. Now the couple called the cops, obviously 331 00:30:11,120 --> 00:30:16,000 and officer manwhoring, the guy who was obsessed with the fact that this couple was not married 332 00:30:16,000 --> 00:30:21,280 and officer Nash, the kid who drops his gun, who were first on the scene and immediately 333 00:30:21,280 --> 00:30:25,900 were hit by the odor that the thing left in its wake. They also found the same tracks 334 00:30:25,900 --> 00:30:30,560 as a previous night. Upon learning of this discovery, the chief of police at the time 335 00:30:30,560 --> 00:30:37,760 dispatched the entire police force to the residence. All two guys, all 14 officers. 336 00:30:37,760 --> 00:30:43,600 All right. Still alarmingly small. He also called in a canine unit from the neighboring 337 00:30:43,600 --> 00:30:49,400 town to assist. So this fucking small platoon of officers armed with rifles, pistols, and 338 00:30:49,400 --> 00:30:54,320 now a dog start their search for the monster. The first thing they noticed was a mysterious 339 00:30:54,320 --> 00:31:01,200 black slime that led from Cheryl's back porch all the way down to the river. The dog, whose 340 00:31:01,200 --> 00:31:05,720 name I learned was Reb, almost immediately picked up the scent and took off through the 341 00:31:05,720 --> 00:31:10,480 path of broken tree limbs and trampled brush left behind by the massive creature just moments 342 00:31:10,480 --> 00:31:17,320 ago. So the dog was able to track it through the woods down a steep embankment into a small 343 00:31:17,320 --> 00:31:23,560 pond, but the brush was, it was like too thick to continue any further. The officers shown 344 00:31:23,560 --> 00:31:28,200 their flashlights around looking for any clues or wherever as to where the creature could 345 00:31:28,200 --> 00:31:34,240 have gone. But suddenly Reb got wind of the monster scent and took off toward an abandoned 346 00:31:34,240 --> 00:31:39,440 barn located to the east of Cheryl Ray's house and north of the river, but stopped short 347 00:31:39,440 --> 00:31:45,960 of the barn barn door and started trembling and yelping in fear. Now, so this dog, like 348 00:31:45,960 --> 00:31:50,840 if this was a normal dog, I get it, but this is like a seasoned professional tracking dog 349 00:31:50,840 --> 00:31:57,760 who is like a hardened off, like they know this dog is very like he'll fucking kill anyone 350 00:31:57,760 --> 00:32:02,120 if he gets a chance to. So like the behavior of the dog at this point would kind of like 351 00:32:02,120 --> 00:32:07,080 stump the officers and its handler. So his handler attempted to like to get the dog to 352 00:32:07,080 --> 00:32:11,680 enter, but Reb dropped to his belly and started like scooting backwards, whimpering. I feel 353 00:32:11,680 --> 00:32:18,120 like there's two options here. It's either, it's either, you know, this mud monster or 354 00:32:18,120 --> 00:32:24,960 perhaps it's just a, you know, extremely tough cat. I mean cats, because my dog is terrified 355 00:32:24,960 --> 00:32:33,080 of my cat. So yeah, I mean either way, but whatever, sorry, whatever your theory is, 356 00:32:33,080 --> 00:32:37,800 Chief Berger decided that if whatever is in that barn, Chief Berger, time out, is this 357 00:32:37,800 --> 00:32:42,720 the first time we're addressing this name? I said Chief Berger, I said Chief of Police 358 00:32:42,720 --> 00:32:47,160 earlier, I did not say his name. His name is Chief Berger. I love it so much. It makes 359 00:32:47,160 --> 00:32:54,520 me so happy. Chief Berger and the Hamburglar. Chief Berger is probably lead detective on 360 00:32:54,520 --> 00:33:01,440 the, on the special prosecution team coming after the Hamburglar. I took that far longer 361 00:33:01,440 --> 00:33:06,600 than I needed to. I took that way too far. Moving on, moving on. Chief Berger. Chief 362 00:33:06,600 --> 00:33:12,020 Berger, he decided that if whatever is in the barn that could make it the most ruthless 363 00:33:12,020 --> 00:33:19,040 tracking dog that he's ever known acting this way, he needed backup. Yeah, I would, I would 364 00:33:19,040 --> 00:33:23,880 call for backup. So he radioed neighboring police departments for help and within just 365 00:33:23,880 --> 00:33:32,320 a few short hours, over a dozen police cars were on scene and ready to walk into a barn. 366 00:33:32,320 --> 00:33:39,000 Well, it didn't matter either way because in the hours between Reb cowering and fear 367 00:33:39,000 --> 00:33:43,920 and the cavalry arriving, the monster just kind of slipped out the back. There was nothing 368 00:33:43,920 --> 00:33:49,800 in there. So disappointed. They kind of have to search and then everyone just kind of like 369 00:33:49,800 --> 00:33:57,440 left. I wish there was a recording in that phone call. Excuse me. Colonel, Colonel hot 370 00:33:57,440 --> 00:34:06,960 dog. Yes. It's Chief Berger. We've got a poop monster in a barn or a large cat or a large 371 00:34:06,960 --> 00:34:11,400 house cat. I don't know what it is, but we need all your guns. Send everyone pretty much. 372 00:34:11,400 --> 00:34:15,600 So the Murfreesboro mud monster would continue to play the community for the next week and 373 00:34:15,600 --> 00:34:21,080 a half. It was only spotted two more times after this, but it was more like the community's 374 00:34:21,080 --> 00:34:25,600 reaction to the thought of a giant monster in town. Well, yeah, I mean, I wouldn't respond 375 00:34:25,600 --> 00:34:31,480 well to that. They were like, there's a giant monster harassing people as they finger bang. 376 00:34:31,480 --> 00:34:36,480 I'd have a problem. Yeah. So armed posses were popping up left and right looking for the 377 00:34:36,480 --> 00:34:40,840 creature and the police were more worried about them shooting a dude thinking it was 378 00:34:40,840 --> 00:34:45,720 the monster than the monster itself. Because if we learn anything from the Enfield monster 379 00:34:45,720 --> 00:34:51,800 when I'm small town America, yeah, when when aren't posses, whenever they see this, the 380 00:34:51,800 --> 00:34:56,880 slightest of movement in a brush, they will fire upon it. We saw it with the Enfield monster, 381 00:34:56,880 --> 00:35:03,440 the fucking van meter visitor. Almost actually, you know, almost every cryptid I've ever covered 382 00:35:03,440 --> 00:35:09,720 on the show, there has been someone shooting at it. So it's safe to say that nothing really 383 00:35:09,720 --> 00:35:14,840 says America like, hey, that's weird. Let's shoot at it. Yeah, no. Well, we did it in 384 00:35:14,840 --> 00:35:19,940 the episode you were on with the the Devil of the Dunes. They wanted to shoot the fuck 385 00:35:19,940 --> 00:35:24,060 out of that guy. And that was in Provincetown. Yeah. If you're if you're going to get shot 386 00:35:24,060 --> 00:35:29,780 at in Provincetown, you have no chance in Illinois. To be fair, the Devil of the Dunes 387 00:35:29,780 --> 00:35:33,800 in Provincetown was a tall, dark figure. So the police shooting at it is nothing new in 388 00:35:33,800 --> 00:35:39,240 Massachusetts. Just going to say that real quick. Now, the next sighting was about 10 389 00:35:39,240 --> 00:35:44,860 days later at 2 a.m. on July 7th. There was a traveling carnival in town and they set 390 00:35:44,860 --> 00:35:50,740 up shop in Riverside Park, which is where, if you remember, the first couple who were 391 00:35:50,740 --> 00:36:01,920 mid coitus stumbled upon the monster and a couple of carnies named Otis Norris, Ray Adkerson 392 00:36:01,920 --> 00:36:08,960 and Wesley Lavender were so happy about the carnies sitting by one of the carnival rides. 393 00:36:08,960 --> 00:36:16,840 There's eight teeth between them discussing the day's finances. I don't know. I got three 394 00:36:16,840 --> 00:36:23,520 balls of two bottle caps and a cotton candy stick. Pretty much. Yeah, that's valid. When 395 00:36:23,520 --> 00:36:27,940 a couple of Shetland ponies that they had tied up on the other side of the vehicle they 396 00:36:27,940 --> 00:36:32,520 were sitting behind started making some noise when they got up to see what all the commotion 397 00:36:32,520 --> 00:36:37,480 was about. They saw the usually calm ponies because these are like the ponies that you 398 00:36:37,480 --> 00:36:41,520 do take your kids to get a pony ride. They're usually pretty. What's the word I'm looking 399 00:36:41,520 --> 00:36:49,000 for? Pretty calm. Suicidal. That's the one. That's it. They saw that these usually calm 400 00:36:49,000 --> 00:36:53,560 ponies slash suicidal ponies were just like going ape shit. Like their eyes were rolling 401 00:36:53,560 --> 00:36:59,440 in terror. They were tugging on the ropes. Like, we want to die, but not like this. Exactly. 402 00:36:59,440 --> 00:37:05,520 No, that's exactly. They wanted to go out on their own terms. It's not how they wanted 403 00:37:05,520 --> 00:37:10,560 to go out. So the men looked for what it was that would like be causing the ponies to act 404 00:37:10,560 --> 00:37:15,520 this way. And that's when they noticed what they described as an eight foot, 400 pound 405 00:37:15,520 --> 00:37:21,960 white bigfoot man just calmly watching the ponies. He was just checking them out. The 406 00:37:21,960 --> 00:37:26,360 men took off running for help. And about an hour later, while the other men were so was 407 00:37:26,360 --> 00:37:34,240 Glenn Beck pretty much about another about an hour later, as the other men were like 408 00:37:34,240 --> 00:37:39,200 running for help, another carny who I don't know his name, I'm going to assume is fucking 409 00:37:39,200 --> 00:37:47,720 Bisco Bob or sticky, sticky Pete skids. We'll go skid. He claimed that he saw the creature 410 00:37:47,720 --> 00:37:52,600 just he was like still watching the ponies, but like with its head cocked to the side, 411 00:37:52,600 --> 00:37:56,120 like it was confused or trying to figure out just like what the fuck a pony is kind of 412 00:37:56,120 --> 00:38:01,400 thing. And as far as we know, this was the last eyewitness report of the creature with 413 00:38:01,400 --> 00:38:04,940 the few exceptions of like a few one offs here and there over the years, but nothing 414 00:38:04,940 --> 00:38:13,880 like really exciting. Now, after this, after the card, he saw this. There were more on 415 00:38:13,880 --> 00:38:19,240 posse's just fucking strolling the park at night, which is, of course, yeah, there was 416 00:38:19,240 --> 00:38:24,440 bigfoot hunters like Harkin Sorkin, crypto zoologists went to investigate like Lauren 417 00:38:24,440 --> 00:38:29,480 Coleman, the guy who runs the crypto museum up in Portland, Maine. Also, I think he coined 418 00:38:29,480 --> 00:38:35,240 the term Bridgewater Triangle like he's OK. He went there and like try to figure out. 419 00:38:35,240 --> 00:38:40,200 He sent us a very nasty email when my podcast covered the Bridgewater Triangle. Oh, is it 420 00:38:40,200 --> 00:38:45,040 because you use the term Bridgewater Triangle and he is very litigious about that? No, it's 421 00:38:45,040 --> 00:38:50,680 because we made fun of him a lot and didn't cite his stupid YouTube channel. Yeah, no, 422 00:38:50,680 --> 00:38:55,760 he's he's kind of a dickhead. So fuck that guy. And I don't care if anyone hears this, 423 00:38:55,760 --> 00:39:03,080 but you're not the first person I know who has run afoul of him. And because he. See, 424 00:39:03,080 --> 00:39:07,960 I'm doing the thing I did on the other. It's fine. It's fine. Let's move on. Let's move 425 00:39:07,960 --> 00:39:12,640 on. The media obviously became a dissident, become like national news, like the fucking 426 00:39:12,640 --> 00:39:15,960 pesco guala aliens or anything like that. But the media did come through and start writing 427 00:39:15,960 --> 00:39:21,960 articles about all this. Yeah. But they all came to town doing their thing. And while 428 00:39:21,960 --> 00:39:26,400 some of us interesting, I'm not going to cover any of that in this episode because this episode 429 00:39:26,400 --> 00:39:35,080 is about one thing and one thing only. Asses. Abominable swamplocks. So, so anyway, Sarge, 430 00:39:35,080 --> 00:39:38,840 you know, when he told me this episode was about asses, I thought we were talking about 431 00:39:38,840 --> 00:39:45,920 a very different subject. No, no. Hey, it's all about fucking expect one thing. The old 432 00:39:45,920 --> 00:39:49,200 bait and switch. Exactly. And you know what? You got me. You got me because I'm still here 433 00:39:49,200 --> 00:39:53,960 and I'm in. Let's talk about this. Well, we can talk about it. But unfortunately, that 434 00:39:53,960 --> 00:39:59,040 is the story of the abominable swamp slob known as the Murphy's Borrow Mud Monster. 435 00:39:59,040 --> 00:40:04,280 The Murphy's Borrow Mud Monster. There needs to be a minor league baseball team out of 436 00:40:04,280 --> 00:40:10,700 Murphy's Borrow. Oh, shit. We call the mud monsters. Yo, new merch drop was to collab. 437 00:40:10,700 --> 00:40:16,000 It's going to be baseball. It's going to be. Yes. There needs to be baseball teams for 438 00:40:16,000 --> 00:40:20,280 every cryptid I've been trying to do. I've been trying to do. I've been trying to get 439 00:40:20,280 --> 00:40:24,160 the flat was monsters like. But I want to like the old baseball teams where it's like 440 00:40:24,160 --> 00:40:29,280 the big swoopy like thing like the. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I know. It's got to be the big. I don't 441 00:40:29,280 --> 00:40:33,240 want a modern one. It's going to be flat was with the swoopy thing. And then inside this 442 00:40:33,240 --> 00:40:37,520 thing is his monster. You mean like that kind of shit? Yeah, no, absolutely. Absolutely. 443 00:40:37,520 --> 00:40:43,960 So who I'm all about this. Who do we got to talk about this audience? Comment on this 444 00:40:43,960 --> 00:40:51,000 video and tell us what you want to see for for a baseball tee. But I love this idea. 445 00:40:51,000 --> 00:40:57,600 I am. I'm such a nerd for minor league baseball teams as it is. I have I have I have a Toledo 446 00:40:57,600 --> 00:41:03,120 Mud Hens tee. I'm so about this. Can't be a jersey. Has to be a baseball tee. Quarter 447 00:41:03,120 --> 00:41:09,160 sleeves. Yeah, yeah. You know, and the color of the sleeves has to match whatever the monster 448 00:41:09,160 --> 00:41:14,520 is. So flat was such a shitty. It's got to be such a shitty minor league team that they 449 00:41:14,520 --> 00:41:19,720 can't afford the jersey. They just have the quarter length sleeves. Yes. Portland Seed 450 00:41:19,720 --> 00:41:29,520 Oaks. There you go. Yeah. So Sarge, Murphy's Bro Mud Monster. That is a story. How we feeling 451 00:41:29,520 --> 00:41:36,160 about it? Thoughts, questions. I do. I really want to be a skeptic. But at the same time, 452 00:41:36,160 --> 00:41:40,960 I desperately want these things to be real, because I think there's nothing better than 453 00:41:40,960 --> 00:41:46,400 for like people to just be living their normal lives. You know, they're worried about politics. 454 00:41:46,400 --> 00:41:53,200 They're worried about inflation. And then a giant, stinky white monster is based on 455 00:41:53,200 --> 00:42:04,320 politics and inflation. I can't help it. I want there to be some whimsy. I want there 456 00:42:04,320 --> 00:42:08,960 to be weird shit that you can't control. I want there to be some crazy mud monster that's 457 00:42:08,960 --> 00:42:17,760 just going to ruin the local election. For sure. But I want there to be a Trump rally 458 00:42:17,760 --> 00:42:22,840 where Trump just gets taken out by Mothman. No, you know, like I want something to be 459 00:42:22,840 --> 00:42:28,480 weird. I want I want there to be weird shit so that we can stop being dumb about stuff 460 00:42:28,480 --> 00:42:34,840 like, oh, I'm so mad about trans rights and books that I got swears in them. And then, 461 00:42:34,840 --> 00:42:41,320 you know, you change your mind because Bigfoot is trying to eat your daughter who's getting 462 00:42:41,320 --> 00:42:47,400 finger blasted by Randy out in the Oldsmobile in a swamp. Like I the fact that there was 463 00:42:47,400 --> 00:42:51,880 two Randys of the story and one of them wanted to fight a kid and the other one was just 464 00:42:51,880 --> 00:42:55,840 a apparently a huge piece of shit, according to Judy's dad. I don't know what the fuck. 465 00:42:55,840 --> 00:43:01,760 I don't know what Randy's problem was. But also, fuck Judy's dad. That boy was able 466 00:43:01,760 --> 00:43:09,600 to afford a car. Right. He's doing fine in 1973. Yes. Small town Ohio, small town Illinois. 467 00:43:09,600 --> 00:43:14,440 The kid could afford a car. Yeah. He had a girlfriend. I feel like he's crushing it. 468 00:43:14,440 --> 00:43:22,800 Yeah. No, I want there to be cryptids because I want I want the world to be still weird. 469 00:43:22,800 --> 00:43:27,240 We know too much about the world. I want we go digging around in the ocean. And every 470 00:43:27,240 --> 00:43:32,200 time we find a crazy fish, we have a heart attack because we've learned too much. We 471 00:43:32,200 --> 00:43:37,480 need to be afraid of things anyway. All right, Sarge. Well, that's the end of the episode. 472 00:43:37,480 --> 00:43:43,840 Is there anything you want to plug before we sign off? You can find me on the Internet. 473 00:43:43,840 --> 00:43:51,360 Just Google Sarge the Destroyer and you'll find all my socials on Instagram, TikTok. 474 00:43:51,360 --> 00:43:56,240 I'm on I'm on Twitter. I'm not calling it X. If you call it X, that's your problem. 475 00:43:56,240 --> 00:44:02,600 No. But I mostly I'm most active on TikTok and Instagram. So you can find me there. Hell 476 00:44:02,600 --> 00:44:07,560 yeah. And if you want to find us on Instagram, it's at Crypto Cocktail. Find me on TikTok 477 00:44:07,560 --> 00:44:12,400 Crypto Cocktail Party. It's not as exciting as Sarge's. So definitely follow him before 478 00:44:12,400 --> 00:44:18,520 you follow us. It's we're all exciting in our own way. Sure. I also got a Patreon. If 479 00:44:18,520 --> 00:44:22,960 you want to support the show, it's five dollars a month. You don't get any bonuses because 480 00:44:22,960 --> 00:44:27,360 I don't have the money to give you bonuses, but it does help support the show. Hosting 481 00:44:27,360 --> 00:44:32,000 the show, hosting and beer isn't free. So, you know, anything else? And we drink a lot 482 00:44:32,000 --> 00:44:39,080 of cocktails on the show. Exactly. And then I think that's I got a Discord server. It's 483 00:44:39,080 --> 00:44:44,520 you can join it. It's whatever it is. Like no one's in it. No one talks in it. It's very 484 00:44:44,520 --> 00:44:50,560 desolate and lonely. But yeah, that's it. And with that, Sarge, do you want to say goodbye 485 00:44:50,560 --> 00:44:57,240 to the audience? Hey, thank you for listening to this and believe in cryptids because reality 486 00:44:57,240 --> 00:45:14,600 is crushing and terrifying. I love you.