1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:28,080 Hey everybody, welcome back to another episode of Cryptid Cocktail Party, a show where we 2 00:00:28,080 --> 00:00:32,360 have a few drinks, share a few laughs, take a dive into the unknown, I am your host Dave, 3 00:00:32,360 --> 00:00:38,840 and today I am joined once again, not once again, again by a friend of the show, Cryptid 4 00:00:38,840 --> 00:00:40,320 Clyde, how you doing bud? 5 00:00:40,320 --> 00:00:42,320 I'm alright, how are you? 6 00:00:42,320 --> 00:00:44,320 I'm fantastic, kinda. 7 00:00:44,320 --> 00:00:45,320 Excellent. 8 00:00:45,320 --> 00:00:46,320 Kinda. 9 00:00:46,320 --> 00:00:47,320 Just kinda? 10 00:00:47,320 --> 00:00:53,080 I ate a bunch of, not a bunch, I ate a few peanut butter and fluff sandwiches before 11 00:00:53,080 --> 00:00:58,160 we recorded, and now my guts are just kinda like real heavy. 12 00:00:58,160 --> 00:01:01,520 I had a PBJ before this too, so right there. 13 00:01:01,520 --> 00:01:06,760 Oh, but yeah, I'm glad you're doing good, you're looking good. 14 00:01:06,760 --> 00:01:07,760 Thank you, thank you. 15 00:01:07,760 --> 00:01:08,920 You know that's what I'm here for. 16 00:01:08,920 --> 00:01:13,640 And you're rocking that mustache man like no other, like the PI up here, yeah. 17 00:01:13,640 --> 00:01:17,000 I'm just glad I can grow a mustache. 18 00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:21,280 Facial hair in general, I know a lot of people who can't and it bums me out. 19 00:01:21,280 --> 00:01:22,280 There's that awkward phase. 20 00:01:22,280 --> 00:01:27,000 I just went for it in high school and just over one summer, just like I'm getting this 21 00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:29,280 out, no patchiness, we're getting this full blown. 22 00:01:29,280 --> 00:01:33,000 You just kinda wield it into existence kinda like? 23 00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:34,000 Exactly. 24 00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:38,040 That's what people need, they need to secrete more stuff to the universe and it'll happen. 25 00:01:38,040 --> 00:01:39,040 Exactly. 26 00:01:39,040 --> 00:01:42,880 You gotta manifest your facial hair, yeah exactly. 27 00:01:42,880 --> 00:01:44,840 Oh shit. 28 00:01:44,840 --> 00:01:47,800 Well Clyde, I think I have a good episode today. 29 00:01:47,800 --> 00:01:48,800 I'm excited. 30 00:01:48,800 --> 00:01:55,640 It is, it's not a cryptid and it's not folklore and it's not like an urban legend, something 31 00:01:55,640 --> 00:02:00,920 a little different, but since it's February I think it's something we should do. 32 00:02:00,920 --> 00:02:03,880 Now Clyde, do you consider yourself a romantic? 33 00:02:03,880 --> 00:02:04,880 Oh of course. 34 00:02:04,880 --> 00:02:08,760 Yeah, like a hopeless romantic or are you just all about it? 35 00:02:08,760 --> 00:02:12,880 The hopeless part absolutely, that's accurate. 36 00:02:12,880 --> 00:02:23,480 No, but it's February, we got Valentine's Day coming up this week, so I figured what 37 00:02:23,480 --> 00:02:28,320 we would do, cause I don't know anything about Valentine's Day or its origins or where it 38 00:02:28,320 --> 00:02:34,440 came from, so I figured today we would explore the origins and the old timey traditions of 39 00:02:34,440 --> 00:02:36,880 the original Valentine's Day. 40 00:02:36,880 --> 00:02:39,140 Oooh, okay. 41 00:02:39,140 --> 00:02:48,740 Because when I looked into it, it's kinda fucked up and it's not as romantic or commercialized 42 00:02:48,740 --> 00:02:49,880 as it is today. 43 00:02:49,880 --> 00:02:52,880 It's fucking wild. 44 00:02:52,880 --> 00:02:58,480 Alright, it might be a little bit shorter of an episode, but I think the content's there, 45 00:02:58,480 --> 00:03:00,840 it doesn't matter, I think we're gonna get through it just fine. 46 00:03:00,840 --> 00:03:03,320 That's right, it's about the meat of it, yeah yeah yeah. 47 00:03:03,320 --> 00:03:07,040 Yeah, and you know, podcasts should only be as long as the subject matter needs it to 48 00:03:07,040 --> 00:03:08,040 be. 49 00:03:08,040 --> 00:03:09,040 Exactly. 50 00:03:09,040 --> 00:03:13,280 So I guess with that out of the way, we'll stop killing time and just get right into 51 00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:14,280 it. 52 00:03:14,280 --> 00:03:15,280 Alright yeah, dive right into this. 53 00:03:15,280 --> 00:03:20,360 Alright, so Valentine's Day, the day for love, romance, and the possibility of your partner 54 00:03:20,360 --> 00:03:24,760 letting you do that one thing you like in bed, you know the one, you know the one, everyone 55 00:03:24,760 --> 00:03:25,760 knows the one. 56 00:03:25,760 --> 00:03:26,760 Oh yeah, once a year. 57 00:03:26,760 --> 00:03:31,880 But what if I told you Clyde, that like most other holidays we have, the Valentine's Day 58 00:03:31,880 --> 00:03:35,740 wasn't always centered around Hallmark cards, chocolates, and the promise of some light 59 00:03:35,740 --> 00:03:40,840 butt stuff in bed, but actually comes from a pagan tradition that was steeped in lust, 60 00:03:40,840 --> 00:03:43,680 fertility, and animal sacrifice. 61 00:03:43,680 --> 00:03:47,320 As long as there was butt stuff involved, that's on board for me. 62 00:03:47,320 --> 00:03:48,960 A hundred percent there was. 63 00:03:48,960 --> 00:03:53,040 But also I assume you wouldn't be, no one would be surprised by me saying that. 64 00:03:53,040 --> 00:03:58,160 It started out as a fucking pretty cool pagan ritual, and then we kind of just ruined it 65 00:03:58,160 --> 00:03:59,160 over time. 66 00:03:59,160 --> 00:04:00,160 Cause that's how Hallmark them are. 67 00:04:00,160 --> 00:04:04,080 Yeah, yeah, they come to the party and ruin it for everybody man. 68 00:04:04,080 --> 00:04:12,480 So like I said, today we're going to go over just one of the possible origins for Valentine's 69 00:04:12,480 --> 00:04:13,480 Day. 70 00:04:13,480 --> 00:04:14,480 Alright. 71 00:04:14,480 --> 00:04:17,640 How it started, how it may have gotten its name, and if time allows we'll try to figure 72 00:04:17,640 --> 00:04:23,320 out just how it became, you know, the commercialized chocolate filled holiday that we've come 73 00:04:23,320 --> 00:04:25,320 to know. 74 00:04:25,320 --> 00:04:28,800 Spoiler alert, it was the Christians, the Catholics. 75 00:04:28,800 --> 00:04:30,040 What? 76 00:04:30,040 --> 00:04:32,640 When has that ever happened in history? 77 00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:34,480 Alright. 78 00:04:34,480 --> 00:04:41,200 So like I said, there's a metric shit ton of different stories and theories for when 79 00:04:41,200 --> 00:04:44,600 and where Valentine's Day originated. 80 00:04:44,600 --> 00:04:46,400 That's even including the name itself. 81 00:04:46,400 --> 00:04:49,760 I read over a few of the different ones and they're kind of cool and all, but there was 82 00:04:49,760 --> 00:04:55,920 one that was just like the most intense when it comes to the actual celebration, which 83 00:04:55,920 --> 00:05:03,480 was basically a three day wine filled sexually charged BDSM festival held by none other than, 84 00:05:03,480 --> 00:05:06,360 I'm sure you can guess, the Romans. 85 00:05:06,360 --> 00:05:07,360 Hey! 86 00:05:07,360 --> 00:05:12,400 If there's one thing they do right, it's their orgies man. 87 00:05:12,400 --> 00:05:15,240 Forget democracy, they have a foundation of this, you know. 88 00:05:15,240 --> 00:05:21,760 Oh God, wine, sex, it's, yeah, pretty much, that's just, that's it. 89 00:05:21,760 --> 00:05:23,200 That's all the rules. 90 00:05:23,200 --> 00:05:24,200 Yeah. 91 00:05:24,200 --> 00:05:27,000 That's why everyone loves going to Italy, it's just everything you want. 92 00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:28,000 And pasta. 93 00:05:28,000 --> 00:05:29,000 Yeah, pasta. 94 00:05:29,000 --> 00:05:32,000 Endless breadsticks. 95 00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:39,000 No, the festival that they had originally started was called Lupercalia, I hope I'm 96 00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:44,800 pronouncing that right, Lupercalia and was held from February 13th to the 15th and I 97 00:05:44,800 --> 00:05:49,180 don't know if this is the right word, but it was marketed as a festival to purify the 98 00:05:49,180 --> 00:05:53,560 city of evil spirits and promote health and fertility. 99 00:05:53,560 --> 00:05:57,960 Now the origins of how the festival started is pretty much like anyone's guess at this 100 00:05:57,960 --> 00:06:03,960 point but scholars have traced this celebration to as far back as the 6th century BC and think 101 00:06:03,960 --> 00:06:08,200 that it has something to do with Rome's creation story of Romulus and Remus. 102 00:06:08,200 --> 00:06:09,200 Okay. 103 00:06:09,200 --> 00:06:15,920 Yeah, so for anyone listening who may be unfamiliar, here's like the most basic quick breakdown 104 00:06:15,920 --> 00:06:19,160 that you can give of the creation of Rome. 105 00:06:19,160 --> 00:06:20,600 Oh, it's bizarre. 106 00:06:20,600 --> 00:06:25,080 Yeah, so King Amulius, I think that's how you pronounce his name, ordered his nephews 107 00:06:25,080 --> 00:06:30,760 and future founders of Rome, Romulus and Remus, to be thrown in the river, kind of like Shutter 108 00:06:30,760 --> 00:06:35,920 Island style, basically just murder your children in the river kind of thing, because their 109 00:06:35,920 --> 00:06:40,320 mother had apparently broken her vow of celibacy and these kids technically shouldn't have 110 00:06:40,320 --> 00:06:41,320 even been alive. 111 00:06:41,320 --> 00:06:45,840 Luckily, the servant who was supposed to go all Casey Anthony on them took pity and 112 00:06:45,840 --> 00:06:49,440 put them in a basket where they floated down the river. 113 00:06:49,440 --> 00:06:53,320 They were discovered by a wolf who took them in and raised them as her own in a den at 114 00:06:53,320 --> 00:06:57,320 the base of the Palatine Hills where Rome was later founded. 115 00:06:57,320 --> 00:06:59,680 The twins were later adopted by a shepherd. 116 00:06:59,680 --> 00:07:04,760 Once they were old enough, they killed their uncle and returned to the cave, named it Lupercal. 117 00:07:04,760 --> 00:07:11,080 So that's where that's the story of that's pretty much the very quick breakdown of it. 118 00:07:11,080 --> 00:07:16,640 But also this might be where the festival got its name Lupercalia, lupus meaning wolf, 119 00:07:16,640 --> 00:07:17,640 history. 120 00:07:17,640 --> 00:07:20,640 There you go. 121 00:07:20,640 --> 00:07:25,880 So now, Clyde, you're probably asking yourself, well, what did they do with this festival? 122 00:07:25,880 --> 00:07:28,000 Because I'm sure you're curious. 123 00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:30,320 I have a feeling it's going to be more like what didn't they do? 124 00:07:30,320 --> 00:07:33,320 But yeah, let's let's go. 125 00:07:33,320 --> 00:07:37,280 The Romans, you can probably already guess kind of what was going on. 126 00:07:37,280 --> 00:07:41,480 But at the same time, I don't think you can. 127 00:07:41,480 --> 00:07:42,480 Let's get into it, man. 128 00:07:42,480 --> 00:07:43,480 Let's get messy. 129 00:07:43,480 --> 00:07:48,960 So the Romans, like we've been kind of discussing, weren't really known for being tame when it 130 00:07:48,960 --> 00:07:49,960 comes to their parties. 131 00:07:49,960 --> 00:07:53,920 And this one was 100 percent no exception. 132 00:07:53,920 --> 00:07:58,240 It was celebrated in a couple of different spots, the Lupercal cave, obviously, and an 133 00:07:58,240 --> 00:08:04,200 open air meeting place called the Comitium, which was unfortunately also located in Pompeii. 134 00:08:04,200 --> 00:08:09,440 So in the future, RIP Comitium. 135 00:08:09,440 --> 00:08:13,600 And I think later on it was celebrated at the Coliseum. 136 00:08:13,600 --> 00:08:15,440 But I don't know how true that is. 137 00:08:15,440 --> 00:08:17,240 I only saw it mentioned once. 138 00:08:17,240 --> 00:08:21,080 But Caesar makes reference to like someone giving him like a crown. 139 00:08:21,080 --> 00:08:24,080 So I'm assuming it was probably had to be near there. 140 00:08:24,080 --> 00:08:25,080 I really don't know. 141 00:08:25,080 --> 00:08:30,280 But anyways, so to kick things off, it starts at the Lupercal cave with none other than 142 00:08:30,280 --> 00:08:33,880 a good old fashioned animal sacrifice. 143 00:08:33,880 --> 00:08:41,320 The priests or a Luperci, maybe they would kill one or more male goats, which I guess 144 00:08:41,320 --> 00:08:45,240 were representations of sexuality, maybe because they're horny. 145 00:08:45,240 --> 00:08:52,520 I've been waiting to use that button. 146 00:08:52,520 --> 00:08:54,940 But now this is where it becomes a bummer. 147 00:08:54,940 --> 00:08:56,100 They would also sacrifice a dog. 148 00:08:56,100 --> 00:08:59,240 So they'd kill a dog. 149 00:08:59,240 --> 00:09:03,960 But once the sacrifice was completed, they would take the knife and smear the blood of 150 00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:09,480 the animals on the foreheads of two naked priests who then and this part was really 151 00:09:09,480 --> 00:09:10,480 important. 152 00:09:10,480 --> 00:09:12,320 They really had to make sure that you knew this part. 153 00:09:12,320 --> 00:09:17,480 They would clean the blood off with a wool soaked in milk as the naked blood covered 154 00:09:17,480 --> 00:09:20,000 priests laughed hysterically. 155 00:09:20,000 --> 00:09:23,080 So I don't know why that was such an important part of the ritual. 156 00:09:23,080 --> 00:09:26,520 But you know, I mean, it's pretty funny. 157 00:09:26,520 --> 00:09:28,800 So it's not bad to try too hard. 158 00:09:28,800 --> 00:09:33,680 But but once that was completed, the feast would begin. 159 00:09:33,680 --> 00:09:39,720 And since it was Rome, it was a huge feast, just food, wine, everything, obviously, anything 160 00:09:39,720 --> 00:09:41,360 you could think of. 161 00:09:41,360 --> 00:09:46,580 But once the fun once the feast was finished, that's where the fun if that's what you want 162 00:09:46,580 --> 00:09:51,800 to call what happens next begins. 163 00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:58,120 So the priests would cut strips of hide from the newly sacrificed goats into strips called 164 00:09:58,120 --> 00:10:03,760 thongs or februa, februa, february, february. 165 00:10:03,760 --> 00:10:06,600 And they would hand them out to the men. 166 00:10:06,600 --> 00:10:09,040 Everyone then got butt ass naked. 167 00:10:09,040 --> 00:10:13,640 And the men would chase the women down and whipped any one of them that was in striking 168 00:10:13,640 --> 00:10:16,320 distance with the goat hide strips. 169 00:10:16,320 --> 00:10:17,320 Yeah. 170 00:10:17,320 --> 00:10:18,320 Okay. 171 00:10:18,320 --> 00:10:24,480 Yeah, no, this is I get why it's the holiday of love. 172 00:10:24,480 --> 00:10:26,840 After all that, of course, that checks out. 173 00:10:26,840 --> 00:10:31,740 I mean, it sounds pretty brutal, but the young woman of the time kind of welcomed the lashings 174 00:10:31,740 --> 00:10:40,660 because as because being struck by one of these thongs was meant to bring on fertility. 175 00:10:40,660 --> 00:10:44,800 And then once was all once all this was said and done, all the women would put their name 176 00:10:44,800 --> 00:10:50,600 into an urn for the men to draw from, kind of like a like an ancient like an ancient 177 00:10:50,600 --> 00:10:59,680 key party, and if your name was chosen, you were coupled together for the rest of the 178 00:10:59,680 --> 00:11:05,320 festival to quote unquote get to know each other. 179 00:11:05,320 --> 00:11:10,160 And sometimes those couples would have but actually stay together after the festival, 180 00:11:10,160 --> 00:11:12,260 even falling in love and getting married. 181 00:11:12,260 --> 00:11:16,000 Some would just stay together until next year's festival where they would just swap keys again 182 00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:17,080 pretty much and go home. 183 00:11:17,080 --> 00:11:20,920 So I don't know how anyone ever got married back then if this is what they were doing. 184 00:11:20,920 --> 00:11:24,320 I mean, yeah, but honestly, though, this sounds like a great meet cute. 185 00:11:24,320 --> 00:11:26,920 It sounds like a great basis for a romcom. 186 00:11:26,920 --> 00:11:31,600 Honestly, I just I just picture like what if every year you're trying to get rid of your 187 00:11:31,600 --> 00:11:36,040 partner by pulling a new name from the hat and you're just getting the same person every 188 00:11:36,040 --> 00:11:37,040 day? 189 00:11:37,040 --> 00:11:38,040 Oh, damn it. 190 00:11:38,040 --> 00:11:39,040 Cassandra again. 191 00:11:39,040 --> 00:11:43,520 Come on, Maximus for the third year in a row. 192 00:11:43,520 --> 00:11:45,520 God damn. 193 00:11:45,520 --> 00:11:48,560 Where are we at so far? 194 00:11:48,560 --> 00:11:51,880 How are you feeling about what's going on? 195 00:11:51,880 --> 00:11:52,880 It's good. 196 00:11:52,880 --> 00:11:56,060 Honestly, it's interesting to me about the strips thing, because I feel like that's part 197 00:11:56,060 --> 00:12:04,920 of some Krampus stuff too, as well as like with whipping women with like the switches 198 00:12:04,920 --> 00:12:08,000 being a good thing despite being a painful thing. 199 00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:11,680 Interesting that that's the tradition is beating somebody with a stick. 200 00:12:11,680 --> 00:12:16,400 What's kind of weird, though, is that so they would cut this cut the strips of flesh into 201 00:12:16,400 --> 00:12:20,920 like strips like what people with but they're not tanned or leathered. 202 00:12:20,920 --> 00:12:27,760 Like it's just oh, yeah, it's just fresh, loose, wet, juicy. 203 00:12:27,760 --> 00:12:34,820 So everyone's just covered in blood, drunk off their ass, naked as fuck. 204 00:12:34,820 --> 00:12:40,580 And then they would just whip each other with raw goat skin and then presumably just fuck 205 00:12:40,580 --> 00:12:41,580 all night. 206 00:12:41,580 --> 00:12:42,580 Yeah. 207 00:12:42,580 --> 00:12:44,880 I mean, it sounds like Burning Man at some point. 208 00:12:44,880 --> 00:12:52,320 I'm just saying it doesn't sound like the worst time, but it also doesn't sound like 209 00:12:52,320 --> 00:12:53,320 great. 210 00:12:53,320 --> 00:13:00,000 No, no, you know, you got to really you got to really like your community to show up to 211 00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:03,240 that festival every year, you know. 212 00:13:03,240 --> 00:13:08,880 But unfortunately, all good things must come to an end. 213 00:13:08,880 --> 00:13:13,860 Over time and with the rise of Christianity, the festival kind of lost its spark. 214 00:13:13,860 --> 00:13:14,960 No one was naked. 215 00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:18,760 The festival only ended up lasting one day instead of the three. 216 00:13:18,760 --> 00:13:24,640 The women were still whipped, though, but just on their hands and they were fully clothed. 217 00:13:24,640 --> 00:13:26,240 So that's a bummer. 218 00:13:26,240 --> 00:13:31,840 But man, you can kind of see how it's starting to change into what we know it as. 219 00:13:31,840 --> 00:13:38,540 I mean, as far as I know, we don't whip women with raw goat skin today. 220 00:13:38,540 --> 00:13:39,540 But I mean, I don't know. 221 00:13:39,540 --> 00:13:43,080 I don't know all the traditions around the world. 222 00:13:43,080 --> 00:13:46,440 So now, how did it become what we know now? 223 00:13:46,440 --> 00:13:52,200 Well, the ancient Romans inadvertently may have also been responsible, at least in the 224 00:13:52,200 --> 00:13:57,480 naming of it, because one origin story I read was that two at two different points in the 225 00:13:57,480 --> 00:14:01,840 third century, Emperor Claudius executed two Catholic priests. 226 00:14:01,840 --> 00:14:07,760 They were like practicing in secrecy because Catholicism wasn't like super cool at the 227 00:14:07,760 --> 00:14:11,360 time around. 228 00:14:11,360 --> 00:14:14,880 And coincidentally, they were both named Valentine. 229 00:14:14,880 --> 00:14:20,700 And in both instances, the executions took place on February 14th. 230 00:14:20,700 --> 00:14:24,740 And if there's one thing we know about the Catholic and Christian churches that they 231 00:14:24,740 --> 00:14:26,440 love a martyr. 232 00:14:26,440 --> 00:14:28,140 So they may do they. 233 00:14:28,140 --> 00:14:31,280 So they eventually made one of or maybe both of them. 234 00:14:31,280 --> 00:14:36,920 I don't really know or care into saints and dubbed that day St. Valentine's Day. 235 00:14:36,920 --> 00:14:42,240 Now with the spread of Catholicism, so to spread St. Valentine's Day in the fifth century, 236 00:14:42,240 --> 00:14:48,400 Pope Galsius, the first combined St. Valentine's Day with Lupercalia because you can't have 237 00:14:48,400 --> 00:14:54,280 those filthy pagans practicing their own religious holidays and stated above made the whole 238 00:14:54,280 --> 00:14:55,320 thing a bummer. 239 00:14:55,320 --> 00:14:56,320 No one was naked. 240 00:14:56,320 --> 00:15:00,280 There wasn't a drunk fuck fest like it was back in the day. 241 00:15:00,280 --> 00:15:03,080 It was still a day of like fertility and fucking kind of. 242 00:15:03,080 --> 00:15:05,160 But like, was it though? 243 00:15:05,160 --> 00:15:07,840 You know, marital, marital boning. 244 00:15:07,840 --> 00:15:08,840 Yeah. 245 00:15:08,840 --> 00:15:17,440 Now it was around this time, around this time, there was another holiday being practiced, 246 00:15:17,440 --> 00:15:19,720 I guess, by a group of people called the Normans. 247 00:15:19,720 --> 00:15:21,080 I don't know what that is. 248 00:15:21,080 --> 00:15:22,400 I didn't bother looking it up. 249 00:15:22,400 --> 00:15:23,400 I probably really shut up. 250 00:15:23,400 --> 00:15:26,920 I believe they're they're French, like Normandy. 251 00:15:26,920 --> 00:15:27,920 Oh shit. 252 00:15:27,920 --> 00:15:34,080 Yeah, I did not even think of that. 253 00:15:34,080 --> 00:15:38,320 I was going to say like Norway, but that doesn't make any sense. 254 00:15:38,320 --> 00:15:42,920 But they had a holiday called Gallatin's Day. 255 00:15:42,920 --> 00:15:47,960 Gallatin, I guess, means lover of women. 256 00:15:47,960 --> 00:15:48,960 And I don't know. 257 00:15:48,960 --> 00:15:54,920 I don't know exactly what the celebrations were or what took place at during the holiday. 258 00:15:54,920 --> 00:16:00,280 But people think that Gallatin's also got got kind of like absorbed or conflated with 259 00:16:00,280 --> 00:16:07,080 Valentine's Day, mostly for the reason that they just kind of sounded super similar. 260 00:16:07,080 --> 00:16:09,520 That's really the only reason. 261 00:16:09,520 --> 00:16:14,840 But by this point, it still wasn't like the super romantic love filled day that we that 262 00:16:14,840 --> 00:16:16,040 we know now. 263 00:16:16,040 --> 00:16:20,920 And that wouldn't happen for a few years when a couple of a couple of literary hacks named 264 00:16:20,920 --> 00:16:26,080 Shakespeare and Chaucer started romanticizing in their writings. 265 00:16:26,080 --> 00:16:29,880 And that caused it to spread all throughout Britain, which eventually meant that it spread 266 00:16:29,880 --> 00:16:35,480 throughout Europe, because if we know anything about the British, they can't set still. 267 00:16:35,480 --> 00:16:39,440 No, not at all. 268 00:16:39,440 --> 00:16:43,920 People started giving out handmade cards and little gifts to their potential fuck friends. 269 00:16:43,920 --> 00:16:47,320 And then eventually it made its way to the colonies. 270 00:16:47,320 --> 00:16:53,060 And then from there, only a few centuries later in Kansas City, Missouri, Hallmark Cards 271 00:16:53,060 --> 00:16:57,360 opened its doors in 1913 and started mass producing Valentine's Day cards. 272 00:16:57,360 --> 00:17:02,320 It started a marketing campaign that to this day causes everyone to drop at least a paycheck's 273 00:17:02,320 --> 00:17:05,920 worth of money on flowers, jewelry, chocolate and just like shit that will be forgotten 274 00:17:05,920 --> 00:17:08,600 about like as soon as it's gifted to them. 275 00:17:08,600 --> 00:17:09,600 Absolutely. 276 00:17:09,600 --> 00:17:10,600 Wow. 277 00:17:10,600 --> 00:17:11,600 But there you have it. 278 00:17:11,600 --> 00:17:16,160 That is maybe possibly the history of Valentine's Day. 279 00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:23,520 How it started out as a brutal blood soaked fuck fest to you might get a hand job under 280 00:17:23,520 --> 00:17:26,360 the covers from your wife. 281 00:17:26,360 --> 00:17:32,120 You know, if you give her a job on Valentine's Day, it's very funny to just consider it went 282 00:17:32,120 --> 00:17:35,440 from basically pulling names out of a hat to see who you're hooking up with that night 283 00:17:35,440 --> 00:17:40,200 to, you know, kids in school just dropping in little cards and shoe boxes on everyone's 284 00:17:40,200 --> 00:17:41,200 desk. 285 00:17:41,200 --> 00:17:42,600 You know, you see the origins of it. 286 00:17:42,600 --> 00:17:43,600 It feels a little. 287 00:17:43,600 --> 00:17:44,600 Yeah. 288 00:17:44,600 --> 00:17:45,600 Yeah. 289 00:17:45,600 --> 00:17:51,560 But I mean, that's, but that's, you could say that about any, I guess, like Christian 290 00:17:51,560 --> 00:17:52,840 or Catholic holiday now. 291 00:17:52,840 --> 00:17:53,840 Do you know what I mean? 292 00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:54,840 Sure. 293 00:17:54,840 --> 00:17:58,680 I remember I was in a robe this way way before back in the day and they were all awesome. 294 00:17:58,680 --> 00:18:00,160 They were all, everyone's in a robe. 295 00:18:00,160 --> 00:18:03,240 There's animals getting their fucking heads cut off. 296 00:18:03,240 --> 00:18:09,520 And now it's just like, ah, Uncle Jerry's drunk again and saying something terrible 297 00:18:09,520 --> 00:18:10,520 that he shouldn't say. 298 00:18:10,520 --> 00:18:11,520 Yeah. 299 00:18:11,520 --> 00:18:15,560 The holidays used to be real fucking metal and now they're just kind of like everybody's 300 00:18:15,560 --> 00:18:17,160 Facebook feed basically. 301 00:18:17,160 --> 00:18:18,160 Yeah. 302 00:18:18,160 --> 00:18:21,080 We're actually, we're actually recording this on Superbowl Sunday. 303 00:18:21,080 --> 00:18:22,080 Hey. 304 00:18:22,080 --> 00:18:26,680 And then the fucking back in the day, like the, like the Olympics used to be all naked 305 00:18:26,680 --> 00:18:30,400 and there was people fucking, probably animals getting sacrificed then too. 306 00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:35,920 Like it's just now they got helmets and things to stop TBI's like, come on. 307 00:18:35,920 --> 00:18:37,840 Where's the fun in that? 308 00:18:37,840 --> 00:18:39,400 This is the softening of our culture. 309 00:18:39,400 --> 00:18:43,880 You know, this is the soy boy cucks of 2024. 310 00:18:43,880 --> 00:18:44,880 Right. 311 00:18:44,880 --> 00:18:48,240 I want someone to get their head cut off. 312 00:18:48,240 --> 00:18:50,360 I want eye gouging back in sports, man. 313 00:18:50,360 --> 00:18:51,360 Bring it. 314 00:18:51,360 --> 00:18:52,360 I'm waiting. 315 00:18:52,360 --> 00:18:53,360 Fucking. 316 00:18:53,360 --> 00:18:54,360 Yeah. 317 00:18:54,360 --> 00:18:55,760 I mean, Mike Tyson had it right, man. 318 00:18:55,760 --> 00:18:57,760 He was doing it the old way. 319 00:18:57,760 --> 00:18:58,760 Oh shit. 320 00:18:58,760 --> 00:19:04,600 But yeah, no, that's so, it's a little bit shorter of an episode, but I think, I think 321 00:19:04,600 --> 00:19:05,600 that's fine. 322 00:19:05,600 --> 00:19:11,880 Yeah, no, it's such a weird holiday, but it is fun to learn it's dark history, but also 323 00:19:11,880 --> 00:19:15,280 that it actually legitimately was a Hallmark holiday. 324 00:19:15,280 --> 00:19:16,280 Yeah, basically. 325 00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:17,960 It really, it really was. 326 00:19:17,960 --> 00:19:23,160 Like, I guess, like, I guess like during like the industrial revolution, they started mass 327 00:19:23,160 --> 00:19:25,680 producing just like holiday cards. 328 00:19:25,680 --> 00:19:31,080 Like you could eat, but like Hallmark really propagated the whole like Valentine's day. 329 00:19:31,080 --> 00:19:32,080 Oh yeah. 330 00:19:32,080 --> 00:19:36,400 To an extent, it's like when De Beers or whatever like started like false falsely false, false 331 00:19:36,400 --> 00:19:37,400 scarcity of diamonds. 332 00:19:37,400 --> 00:19:38,400 Yeah. 333 00:19:38,400 --> 00:19:39,760 Like it was like that kind of shit. 334 00:19:39,760 --> 00:19:41,160 And they probably worked in cahoots. 335 00:19:41,160 --> 00:19:42,160 There's no way. 336 00:19:42,160 --> 00:19:44,160 Like, hey, listen. 337 00:19:44,160 --> 00:19:45,160 Oh yeah. 338 00:19:45,160 --> 00:19:50,400 I mean, those ad campaigns were like all super guilty to like, oh, you would love your person 339 00:19:50,400 --> 00:19:53,840 if you gave them a diamond, but I guess, I guess you don't care about that much if you're 340 00:19:53,840 --> 00:19:56,520 not spending, you know, two paychecks on a diamond. 341 00:19:56,520 --> 00:20:01,360 Yeah, they really, I guess gaslighting probably isn't the right word, but they definitely 342 00:20:01,360 --> 00:20:03,640 like really made you feel bad about yourself. 343 00:20:03,640 --> 00:20:04,640 Yeah. 344 00:20:04,640 --> 00:20:09,080 They got real into that, that subconscious just, I'm a bad person vibe. 345 00:20:09,080 --> 00:20:10,080 Oh man. 346 00:20:10,080 --> 00:20:11,080 So yeah. 347 00:20:11,080 --> 00:20:15,080 So we don't really have anyone to blame besides ourselves for turning it into what it is. 348 00:20:15,080 --> 00:20:18,720 Now, you know, but that's every holiday now. 349 00:20:18,720 --> 00:20:22,840 The only holiday that isn't unless you're Guinness, like St. Patrick's day isn't really 350 00:20:22,840 --> 00:20:23,840 commercialized. 351 00:20:23,840 --> 00:20:26,840 You know what I mean? 352 00:20:26,840 --> 00:20:32,600 Like, you have that market, but at the same time, they're doing fine all year round. 353 00:20:32,600 --> 00:20:33,600 Yeah. 354 00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:36,880 That's just an extra bonus at the end of the year for them with the paycheck. 355 00:20:36,880 --> 00:20:42,640 You know, St. Patrick's day pays for their Christmas party is pretty much what exactly 356 00:20:42,640 --> 00:20:48,360 Hallmark on the other hand, they're just fucking, yeah, they really found that niche market 357 00:20:48,360 --> 00:20:51,520 and just fucking drove it home. 358 00:20:51,520 --> 00:20:55,520 Cause then fucking Christmas happened and they're like, ah shit. 359 00:20:55,520 --> 00:20:56,520 Oh boy. 360 00:20:56,520 --> 00:20:58,240 Everybody got a piece of Christmas too. 361 00:20:58,240 --> 00:20:59,680 It wasn't just the Hallmark company. 362 00:20:59,680 --> 00:21:02,120 It was everybody's in it now, man. 363 00:21:02,120 --> 00:21:04,760 Maybe this will be the beginning to a new series. 364 00:21:04,760 --> 00:21:09,080 Whenever a new holiday is about to come around, I'll just do like the fucked up origin. 365 00:21:09,080 --> 00:21:10,080 Honestly? 366 00:21:10,080 --> 00:21:12,480 I'm all for that. 367 00:21:12,480 --> 00:21:13,480 That sounds like a great idea. 368 00:21:13,480 --> 00:21:18,280 Well, cause yeah, doesn't St. Patrick's day like he's driving the snakes, AKA the pagans 369 00:21:18,280 --> 00:21:19,280 out of Ireland. 370 00:21:19,280 --> 00:21:20,280 Yeah. 371 00:21:20,280 --> 00:21:24,600 It's got some, some undertones to it that maybe aren't great. 372 00:21:24,600 --> 00:21:31,960 You know, and a lot of erasure of, of Celtic culture and whatnot because of Christianity. 373 00:21:31,960 --> 00:21:33,680 The also great no problematics. 374 00:21:33,680 --> 00:21:35,680 He was murdering the pagans. 375 00:21:35,680 --> 00:21:36,680 Yeah. 376 00:21:36,680 --> 00:21:37,680 That's what it was. 377 00:21:37,680 --> 00:21:38,680 Yeah. 378 00:21:38,680 --> 00:21:39,680 Okay. 379 00:21:39,680 --> 00:21:40,680 The snakes. 380 00:21:40,680 --> 00:21:42,680 Oh shit. 381 00:21:42,680 --> 00:21:46,520 Well, Clyde, we come to the end before we sign off. 382 00:21:46,520 --> 00:21:50,120 Is there anything you want to plug direct to people where to go? 383 00:21:50,120 --> 00:21:56,960 Hey, no, I'm just not really particularly, but I'm on Instagram, cryptic Clyde underscore 384 00:21:56,960 --> 00:21:59,320 in between there, cryptic underscore Clyde. 385 00:21:59,320 --> 00:22:03,840 And then my first, first show of the year is going to be frog man in a little Ohio on 386 00:22:03,840 --> 00:22:04,840 March 2nd. 387 00:22:04,840 --> 00:22:06,800 So hell yeah, man. 388 00:22:06,800 --> 00:22:07,800 I'll see folks out there. 389 00:22:07,800 --> 00:22:08,800 Super, super jealous. 390 00:22:08,800 --> 00:22:09,800 Wish I was gone. 391 00:22:09,800 --> 00:22:11,720 I'll see, I'll see you out there a few times this year. 392 00:22:11,720 --> 00:22:12,720 I'm pretty sure. 393 00:22:12,720 --> 00:22:13,720 Right. 394 00:22:13,720 --> 00:22:14,720 I'll be around. 395 00:22:14,720 --> 00:22:17,640 Maybe not as a vendor, but I'll definitely, I'll be, I'll be making my rounds to some 396 00:22:17,640 --> 00:22:19,080 cryptic festivals this year. 397 00:22:19,080 --> 00:22:20,080 Don't you worry about it. 398 00:22:20,080 --> 00:22:21,080 Well, I'll see you out there. 399 00:22:21,080 --> 00:22:22,080 All right. 400 00:22:22,080 --> 00:22:23,080 All right. 401 00:22:23,080 --> 00:22:24,080 All right. 402 00:22:24,080 --> 00:22:25,080 So yeah. 403 00:22:25,080 --> 00:22:26,080 So follow Clyde on Instagram, cryptic underscore Clyde. 404 00:22:26,080 --> 00:22:27,080 Do you have a website? 405 00:22:27,080 --> 00:22:28,640 You have a website, don't you? 406 00:22:28,640 --> 00:22:30,040 It just goes to my Etsy shop. 407 00:22:30,040 --> 00:22:34,160 So it's not really a website, but I'm sure there's a link to it on his Instagram. 408 00:22:34,160 --> 00:22:37,520 If you want to follow us on Instagram, it's a at cryptic cocktail. 409 00:22:37,520 --> 00:22:40,400 Follow me on TikTok, a cryptic cocktail party. 410 00:22:40,400 --> 00:22:43,000 I do have a Patreon, it's $5 a month. 411 00:22:43,000 --> 00:22:46,400 That's not, I haven't really done much with it, but I mean, beer's expensive. 412 00:22:46,400 --> 00:22:50,760 So if you want to help me get drunk while talking to guests, that's cool too. 413 00:22:50,760 --> 00:22:52,640 I have a discord now. 414 00:22:52,640 --> 00:22:54,040 It's just cryptic cocktail party. 415 00:22:54,040 --> 00:22:55,280 It's very lonely in there. 416 00:22:55,280 --> 00:22:57,160 There's like 11 people maybe. 417 00:22:57,160 --> 00:23:02,240 And let's just say it's not popping off, but you could change that by going to the link 418 00:23:02,240 --> 00:23:08,960 in our Instagram and hitting the invite link and talking. 419 00:23:08,960 --> 00:23:09,960 Everybody should get in there. 420 00:23:09,960 --> 00:23:11,360 I think everyone should get in there. 421 00:23:11,360 --> 00:23:12,360 If you're not, absolutely. 422 00:23:12,360 --> 00:23:14,400 You're missing the party. 423 00:23:14,400 --> 00:23:15,400 Yeah. 424 00:23:15,400 --> 00:23:16,960 Says more about you than it does about me. 425 00:23:16,960 --> 00:23:17,960 All right. 426 00:23:17,960 --> 00:23:18,960 All right. 427 00:23:18,960 --> 00:23:24,840 Well, with that out of the way, Clyde, would you like to say goodbye to everyone? 428 00:23:24,840 --> 00:23:25,840 Sure. 429 00:23:25,840 --> 00:23:34,920 Bye. 430 00:23:34,920 --> 00:23:52,640 Bye everyone.