Hey everybody, welcome back to another episode of Cryptic Cocktail Party Show where we have
a few drinks, share a few laughs, take a dive into the unknown. I'm your host Dave and today
I'm joined by Justy Boy, co-host of the Cool Parents podcast. What's going on handsome?
What's going on? Thanks for having me. You're so professional. What am I? You're so professional.
You know, it's a nice, it's a nice change of pace. I didn't expect to hear that theme
song. You didn't hear it? I'm here. No, no, that goes in in post where I come from. Oh
no, I got a, I got a soundboard and everything, man. I'm, I'm balls to the wall with this.
All right, Justin, you ready to saddle up partner? Oh, I was born ready mister. Oh, we're going
to be saddling up. We're going to be hitting the old dusty trail heading out West to spin
a few yards. Yeah. Some UFOs in the wild West. I almost, I almost loaded up. I'll add it
in post. Yeah. No, I, I, I got this idea actually from one of the, an episode of your show where
you guys are doing commentary on the, uh, some like cowboy alien show. Yeah. It was
on the road. It was on the Roku channel. Yeah. Uh, I forget what it was called, but yeah,
it was, it was a hoot. It was, it was a hoot for sure. But yeah, so I, uh, I came up with
the idea to do UFO encounters with the wild West and I figured who else to do it with
then, cause you're a big fan of cowboys. You're a big fan. Well, I reckon, I reckon, uh, you
ready to dive into this? I don't know. I don't know about all that partner, but uh, yeah,
I know a thing or two. I know a thing or two about a chain and you know, the farm and
bull whip is a bull whip from the prayer. All right. So a bull whip on me. I got my cowboy
hat on. I'm ready to spit. All right. So Justin, our first tale comes out of Missouri in the
year of our Lord 1865. James Lomley was trapping in the mountains. I'm not going to do an accent.
I can't do it. Jim Lomley, Jim Lomley was trapping in the mountains of Codote pass late
one night when he saw what the, what he described to the Missouri Democrat as quote, a bright
luminous body in the heavens, which was moving with a great rapidity in an Easterly direction.
James Lomley said that the object was visible for roughly five seconds when suddenly separated
into pieces like the bursting of a sky rocket is what he said. I'm assuming he means like
a firework. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know what a sky rocket is. Um, no, not even a minute
after seeing the object streak across the sky. James heard a massive explosion. It was
so big that he could feel the ground shake in the air and the rush of air coming through
the woods from the impact. And then the smell of sulfur filled the air. Sulfur sulfur, stink
smell egg smell. Now at this point it was already late. So James decided that the following
day he'd go and investigate whatever it was that had crash landed that night. So the next
day, I reckon I'm going to go on out there, take a, take a gander. What's going on here
on the prairie. So the next day James is hiking in the direction of the crash. And when he
got about two miles from his camp, he encountered what one source described as a trail of destruction
had been cut through the forest. Whatever it was that crashed through there, it left
like a path of like uprooted or just straight up broken in half trees. It shaved off, it
shaved off a hilltop and gouged the earth as it came through. The newspaper described
the scene as quote great and widespread havoc was everywhere visible. So Jim being the big
old mountain man that he was decided to follow the trail of destruction all the way to a
massive quote stone that was driven into the side of the mountain. James said that it looked
as though it was divided into compartments and that there was shards of what looked like
broken glass. A dark liquid is all around the scene of the crash as well. But what's
weirder and I think you're really going to enjoy this part is he described whatever it
was as being covered quote in curious hieroglyphics.
Oh wow. All sorts of mysteries with this one. For some reason this like this one little
tidbit prompted the newspaper to speculate that maybe the object came from mercury or
Uranus based on absolutely nothing. The fact that that hieroglyphics is it's weird speculation
I worked and that's weird speculation. I came out here to avoid animal noises and there's
a fucking dog barking. I can't hear it. You're fine. I'm sorry. Okay. No, this one had mentioned
it just in case you do. No, that's good. No, obviously this is probably just a meteor that
crashed into the mountain. But the fact that I don't know about that. You don't know what
it what is your what is your take on what you think this is. It's probably a craft some
sort of some sort of craft. Now the fact he stated there were hieroglyphs carved into
it and that he was certain they were quote the works of human hands. It is kind of weird
and I'm sure like ancient alien believers probably cite this story as like like a holy
grail of evidence. But I don't know. So yeah, so that's the first story. That's the story
of Jim Lomley and he's in Canada. Oh Jim Lomley. Jim Lomley down Missouri way. The next story
is called. You know what to do. You know what to dive deeper into Jim Lomley. No, that's
that's really all there was. There's that like one newspaper article. But I got a couple
stories for you. There's no more information out there on Jim Lomley. That's it. That's
all we got. I think we can reach out to the estate. We get a get a quote from old Jim.
I bet he's still around. When was this? This is the eighteen hundreds. Yeah, he's still
around. This is eighteen sixty five. So there's not a lot going on there. You know, I'll put
in a FOIA request and see what I can find out. We'll find out. Yeah, we'll do it. We'll
get to the bottom of it. We'll do an update later later down the line. But me personally,
I think it was a craft. He was a craft, some sort of saw some kind of some sort of hovercraft
piloted by a little little little boy. Oh, well, if you want to know about pilots, here
it was. Here we go. So this one is the story of the Aurora alien in the early in the early
morning of April 17th, 1897 in the town of Aurora, Texas. Local saw a strange object
streak low across the sky. Just had a stroke streak low across the sky. It was heading
in a northerly direction, crossing over the town square. And soon after it crashed right
into Judge J.S. Proctor's windmill, causing the craft to explode, creating a debris field
covering several acres and even destroying the judges prize flower garden in the process.
This was all in the newspaper. They had to really point out that it's his windmill and
his flower garden got fucking just completely destroyed. It created a path of carnage. No,
a ton of hieroglyphs everywhere. Just hold on now. A ton of residents witnessed the object
and it's just in its destruction. But they were also witness to something more than just
a fiery crash and debris. They also witnessed the pilot. Oh, according according to the
night to the April 19th, 1897 article in the Dallas Morning News about the incident, quote,
the pilot of the ship is supposed to have been the only one on board. And while his
remains are badly disfigured and enough of the original has been picked up to show that
he was not an inhabitant of this world, end quote. And then it went on to say that papers
found on this person, evidently the records of his travels are written in some unknown
hieroglyphs and can't be deciphered. Oh, maybe it's maybe it's the cipher. Maybe it's the
cipher for the story. Yeah. The original story is the original cipher. You know, so they
need the cipher. They need a ciphering stone to decipher this guy's hieroglyphs on the
paper in his pocket. That's right. All right. Now that's right. It's like a like a zodiac,
but instead of killing people, it's just creating paths of carnage with their just aliens fucking
up towns left and right. That's right. Yeah. Just doing property damage for no good reason.
Well, there is a good reason. You got to read the glyphs. You got to read the glyphs. They
hold all the secrets. I reckon you got to read the glyphs a little bit. I reckon. Yeah.
All right. The article also concluded with a quote, the pilot's funeral will take place
at noon tomorrow. And according to reports, the funeral actually did indeed happen. And
the quote unquote pilot was buried in the Aurora cemetery with full Christian rights. And there
was a headstone and everything. Wow. So there's an alien buried in Aurora cemetery and nobody's
fucking dug it up or anything. Nothing. No, some guy apparently was like doing research
and he did one of those, like the thing where they move the thing across the grass back
and forth and it kind of like pump sonar and there is a tiny casket in the ground. So I
mean like there was no one at the fucking funeral. Like no one saw. Oh no, there was
people there. Yeah. Close, close, close, close casket. His body was very badly charred and
burned. It was like a nice smoked brisket. Well, I mean, I saw, I saw what they were
able to do with my papi's corpse. I reckon they could do some magic working. Yeah. So,
but yeah, that's the story of the Aurora alien. Now there's more to the story. Some guy apparently
ended up buying the farm that it crashed into like the past. He passed away. The windmill.
No, but he bought the farm, but apparently, but like about papi bought the farm, but apparently
the like the debris from the spaceship, instead of like disposing of it properly, they just
threw it in the well that was under, that was under the windmill. And that's fucking
awesome. So he was cleaning out that he was cleaning out the debris and apparently he
wanted to use the well for water, like it's intended purpose. And he, he apparently, but
after handling all the debris, he got like one of the most severe cases of arthritis
that anyone's ever heard of. So he just threw the debris back into the well and then covered
it with a building so that no one can get to it ever again. And then his arthritis magically
disappeared overnight. I don't think so, but that would've been fucking good if that's
how it went down. That would be pretty fun. Oh shit. All right, Justin. So this is going
to be the last of the stories. This is a little longer one. This is the, this is the story
of the unsolved case of the mystery airships. I like the name, the mystery airships or phantom
airships was an unidentified flying object that was seen by thousands of people across
the country in the late 1896 and early 1897 and are considered to be like the spiritual
predecessor to like modern UFO sightings. Yeah. Sightings of the mystery airship usually
occurred at night with people seeing strange lights in the sky, but more detailed and up
close like sightings described it almost like a zeppelin, like a, like an air, like a fucking,
what was the Hindenburg? It's like kind of like that. Yeah. But, uh, when was this? This
is 1896. I remember, remember, remember the year. Well,
it's, uh, but I mean what they're kind of describing is what I guess they would call
in the UFO community, a cigar shaped UFO. I don't know if you, yeah. Yeah. Oh, I'm familiar.
I'm familiar. I figured you would be now. Uh, the first wave of reports of about the
mystery mysterious ship started in November 17th, uh, started in November 17th to sometime
ended in like mid December of 1896 and it was confined mostly to the west coast of the
United States, like California, that kind of shit. Uh, with the first sighting taking
place in Sacramento, when witnesses saw a slow moving light just 1000 feet off the ground
with some witnesses claiming they could see like a dark shape behind the light. And then
one, one witness RL Lowry claimed he heard a voice coming from inside the craft, shout,
shouting orders to increase altitude to avoid crashing into the steeple of a church. Uh,
others claimed that they could hear singing as it passed overhead. And then our Lowry
claimed that he saw the people piloting it and they were, uh, it was just two dudes and
they were using, uh, it was like a bicycle pedal powered, like there's just two dudes
just going to apeshit some bicycle pedals. That's awesome. That's a great mental image.
Uh, we're just piloting the cigar. That's all, you know, a couple of guys, a couple
of guys, just two dudes, just vibing. Uh, then on November 9th, what do you got? Wait, before,
before you continue, I just got to, I have to say how happy I am that there's more than
one RL in the world. I've only heard of Stein before. I'm happy that another one exists.
Yeah. He really is the only one, isn't he? He's only on the matters. Yeah. He's, RL's
got the, he's kind of like the monopoly of, uh, RLs these days. Yeah. Cause this, this
guy's got all the power. This RL Lowry is a long, long since expired. Well, you never
know. You think that this man, that's about, he could be, I don't fucking know. So we're
talking to, so what do you got? So RL Stein. So, uh, the next sighting was, this guy possibly
still alive from the 1890s. Possibly. Uh, the next story is on November 19th, 1896,
the daily mail out of Stockton, uh, printed an article that featured what would be like
the earliest accounts of an alleged alien craft and attempted abduction. This is probably
my favorite alien abduction story I've ever heard by a entire life. So the story goes,
I've never heard an attempted abduction before. I've only heard of, uh, you know, a hundred
percent success rate for the most part. This is the story goes that Colonel H. These weren't
aliens at all. It was just two guys inside of fucking cigar, dude. Dude, it kind of,
when you hear what happens during this abduction, you're going to just assume that's what it
is. Cause the story goes that Colonel H. G. Shaw was driving his horse and buggy on a
country road in Lodi. Uh, when he saw what he claimed to, uh, have been a landed spacecraft
that he described as having a metallic surface that was completely featureless aside from
a rudder, it was about 25 feet in diameter and about 150 feet in length. He then said
that three slender, seven foot tall extraterrestrials came out of the ship and approached him all
while making like a strange warbling noise. I don't know what that could be, but in my
head it's like, like that's what the sound I hear. Uh, he said, he said, he said the
aliens then examined his buggy before trying to physically force him off of the buggy and
back to the ship. But they gave up pretty quickly when it became apparent that they
lacked the strength to force him off of his buggy. So they, uh, once they realized they
were like weighing over their heads, uh, they just hauled ass back to their ship and then
promptly just got the hell out of there. They couldn't peel me off the buggy. I'm too fucking
strong. Yeah. He's like, I just pictured them being like, come on, come on. And he's like,
fuck. And I just went fucking dead weight. They couldn't pull me if they tried. I don't
know why, but Shaw for some reason decided that the creature creatures were of Martian
Martian origin and believe they were sent to kidnap an earth earthling for quote unknowable,
but potentially nefarious purposes. So then just, I love it. Then just two days later
on November 21st, the lights reappear over Sacramento as well as over Folsom Oakland,
San Francisco, Modesto, and a whole bunch of other cities later that night, uh, being
witnessed by hundreds of people with a few more sightings occurring up into December.
Now the second wave of sightings took place from January to may of 1897, but this time
in central and Eastern United States. And there's a bunch of these stories, but I'm
just going to tell you like a few of my favorite ones. Uh, one witness in Arkansas was supposedly
told by a pilot of one of these airships that he was heading to Cuba to use his Hotchkiss
guns to kill Spaniards. Oh my goodness. Then, oh my goodness. On April 10, 1897, a newspaper
in St. Louis, uh, published a sighting from a man named WH Hopkins who said he encountered
a grounded airship near Springfield, Missouri. He claimed the ship was being crewed by a
beautiful nude woman and a bearded man who was also nude. Uh, he tried to communicate
with them to figure out like where they were from. And after some time they eventually
understood what he was trying to say. And they just pointed to the sky and quote, uttered
something that sounded like the word Mars. So all right. I love it. Uh, that was me.
Yeah. Several newspapers and wait, does it say how was, how was, how was the hog on him?
Oh, it was he corked out or what? Does it, does it say no, but I mean, I'm assuming
he's fucking corks, dude. He's probably got a fucking mass. It's probably pretty nice
one. He's an, he's an alien. I'm sure. Nice one on him. Yeah. Uh, no, several news. It
wasn't big, but it was nice, dude. It was nice. Smooth, very smooth. Right. Right. Uh,
that's what you want. No. So several newspapers in Minneapolis reported that on April 13th,
a doctor was abducted at gunpoint to care for the captain of an airship that was sick
from the flu. Uh, the doctor managed to escape after like a bit of a struggle by jumping
from the airship 40 feet down into the lake that was beneath them. Uh, this story was
later found to be fake and the doctor just, the real story is that he just fell through
the ice and the lake while he was trying to cross it. If not because he jumped from an
airship. Yeah. He just wanted it to sound cooler. I get it. Yeah. I mean, you don't
want to seem pretty dumb. It's just crossing a frozen. Like you gotta come up with something
good. He's a doctor too. Right. But also why would an alien need to abduct you at gunpoint?
I feel like these alien abductions are not, they weren't smooth in the 1800s. Not like
today. No, no, no. This is like some real amateurish shit. Uh, did you say the guy was
a doctor too or did I make that up? He was a doctor. He was. Yeah. Okay. He didn't want
people to think he was a fucking dumbass. Can't even walk across the ice properly. Let's
you're a doctor, dude. You're supposed to know. He's just trying to say everything.
The last one happened sometime around April 19th of 1897 in Leroy, Kansas, when Alexander
Hamilton, not the president, his son and some dude that was living with them at the time
said, uh, they saw an airship hovering over their cattle pen. After some examination of
the situation, they noticed a red quote unquote cable coming from the ship that was lassoed
around one of Hamilton's heifers. Unfortunately for the airship, it also got that cable tangled
around the fence post of the pen. So Hamilton used this opportunity to try and save his
cow, but he wasn't able to free it. So instead he cut away a portion of the fence. Then he,
then he quote stood in amazement to see the ship cow and all rise slowly and sail off.
Now some have suggested that this could possibly be one of like the first attempts at like
cattle mutilation. Yeah. But in reality, uh, this story was debunked in 1977 when a UFO
researcher did some digging and discovered that the whole story was a very, very successful
attempt by Hamilton, uh, to win a liar's club competition to come up with the most outlandish
story and I believe he did win that. So, Oh, hell yeah. I like that. Good for him. Good
for Hamilton. Yeah. Uh, but yeah, that's it. These are the, these were, uh, these were
the stories of UFOs in the wild west. How you feeling? I reckon I feel pretty good about
it. I reckon I'm all right home about it. Yeah. Yeah. You got any, uh, you know, comments,
questions, you know, you got any theories? Yeah. I got a lot of them. I got a whole lot
of them, Dave. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know if you pay attention to that. I don't see pay
attention to, uh, Tom DeLong's tweets about aliens sometimes. Oh man. The last time I
read something that he wrote, he just, he just writes these really vague things and
people are like, Oh, he's so smart. He wrote, uh, he wrote, uh, that these aliens are from,
they're from time. Or as he says, time. What does that even mean? I don't know. Like they're
like time beings. Yeah. I think he's implying that they're like future humans or something
like that, which would explain the guys growing in the fucking cigar. They weren't from like
that far in the future. That's like, you know, no, yeah, they, they small leaps and bounds,
just tiny ones to advance a little bit further. No. Uh, but I mean, I've heard that theory
that aliens are just humans from the future. Yeah. It's like a whole like theory that the
moon doesn't didn't exist until like not that long ago. Oh yeah. Like it just appeared in
the sky because future humans built the moon and then put it there. Yeah. I don't know.
So I, I heard there was some sort of mining operation underneath the surface and you can
see documentaries. Oh yeah. Yeah. Those shit on YouTube. It's like you fall down that rabbit
hole. You'll be there all day. Yeah. There was a, there was a documentary on Netflix
called like structures on the moon. That's what it was actually. It was, it was on, it
was on Netflix. It was a secrets of the moon exposed. That's when it was. I want to use
it again. I don't think it's on there anymore, but oh God, probably not. Very informative.
Very informative. It was well, Justin, that's the end of the episode. I want to see the
smoke stacks. What? Under the surface of the moon. You could see them. God damn it. They
said there were smoke stacks. I could see them with the satellite. Oh, obviously. Yeah.
Duh. This is a very smart documentary. Really smart stuff. Anyway, I don't believe that.
Um, all right, Justin, well, you got anything you want to plug? You want to plug something
real quick before we sign off? I do a podcast. Do the cool parents podcast with Curtis Charles,
who's on the year show before early on, right? Yeah. And where, where can they find you?
You talked about, you talked about Danny DeVito a lot. Yeah. Um, yeah, they can find it's
a Spotify iTunes, Apple pie and all that shit everywhere. Cool parents podcast in parentheses,
not a parenting podcast. Yeah. Is that new? Yeah, that's new. Yeah. Cause we were, yeah,
we were getting some targeted things that were, yeah, just getting the wrong idea. Um,
and yeah, we have a band, cool parents too. We have a record as in, you know, it's all
online. You can find it anywhere. Yeah. I mean, I'll, I'll put a link in the description
anyways. Um, all right. Yeah. Uh, but if you want to follow us, just go to, uh, at cryptic
cocktail on Instagram, create a cocktail party on tick tock. Uh, we've got a Patreon. It's
like $5 a month. I think I don't remember how much I said, but I'm doing some cool shit
over there. You guys watching like QB Halloween. You watching QB Halloween with the commentary
or no, no. No. All right. You want me to say bye? Yeah. Say bye. Well, God bless you. Thank
you for coming. God bless you. I reckon it's time for me to be a hit.