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Hey everybody, welcome back to another episode of Cryptic Cocktail Party Show where we have

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a few drinks, share a few laughs, take a dive into the unknown. I'm your host Dave and today

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I'm joined by Justy Boy, co-host of the Cool Parents podcast. What's going on handsome?

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What's going on? Thanks for having me. You're so professional. What am I? You're so professional.

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You know, it's a nice, it's a nice change of pace. I didn't expect to hear that theme

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song. You didn't hear it? I'm here. No, no, that goes in in post where I come from. Oh

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no, I got a, I got a soundboard and everything, man. I'm, I'm balls to the wall with this.

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All right, Justin, you ready to saddle up partner? Oh, I was born ready mister. Oh, we're going

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to be saddling up. We're going to be hitting the old dusty trail heading out West to spin

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a few yards. Yeah. Some UFOs in the wild West. I almost, I almost loaded up. I'll add it

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in post. Yeah. No, I, I, I got this idea actually from one of the, an episode of your show where

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you guys are doing commentary on the, uh, some like cowboy alien show. Yeah. It was

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on the road. It was on the Roku channel. Yeah. Uh, I forget what it was called, but yeah,

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it was, it was a hoot. It was, it was a hoot for sure. But yeah, so I, uh, I came up with

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the idea to do UFO encounters with the wild West and I figured who else to do it with

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then, cause you're a big fan of cowboys. You're a big fan. Well, I reckon, I reckon, uh, you

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ready to dive into this? I don't know. I don't know about all that partner, but uh, yeah,

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I know a thing or two. I know a thing or two about a chain and you know, the farm and

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bull whip is a bull whip from the prayer. All right. So a bull whip on me. I got my cowboy

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hat on. I'm ready to spit. All right. So Justin, our first tale comes out of Missouri in the

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year of our Lord 1865. James Lomley was trapping in the mountains. I'm not going to do an accent.

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I can't do it. Jim Lomley, Jim Lomley was trapping in the mountains of Codote pass late

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one night when he saw what the, what he described to the Missouri Democrat as quote, a bright

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luminous body in the heavens, which was moving with a great rapidity in an Easterly direction.

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James Lomley said that the object was visible for roughly five seconds when suddenly separated

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into pieces like the bursting of a sky rocket is what he said. I'm assuming he means like

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a firework. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know what a sky rocket is. Um, no, not even a minute

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after seeing the object streak across the sky. James heard a massive explosion. It was

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so big that he could feel the ground shake in the air and the rush of air coming through

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the woods from the impact. And then the smell of sulfur filled the air. Sulfur sulfur, stink

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smell egg smell. Now at this point it was already late. So James decided that the following

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day he'd go and investigate whatever it was that had crash landed that night. So the next

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day, I reckon I'm going to go on out there, take a, take a gander. What's going on here

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on the prairie. So the next day James is hiking in the direction of the crash. And when he

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got about two miles from his camp, he encountered what one source described as a trail of destruction

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had been cut through the forest. Whatever it was that crashed through there, it left

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like a path of like uprooted or just straight up broken in half trees. It shaved off, it

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shaved off a hilltop and gouged the earth as it came through. The newspaper described

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the scene as quote great and widespread havoc was everywhere visible. So Jim being the big

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old mountain man that he was decided to follow the trail of destruction all the way to a

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massive quote stone that was driven into the side of the mountain. James said that it looked

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as though it was divided into compartments and that there was shards of what looked like

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broken glass. A dark liquid is all around the scene of the crash as well. But what's

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weirder and I think you're really going to enjoy this part is he described whatever it

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was as being covered quote in curious hieroglyphics.

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Oh wow. All sorts of mysteries with this one. For some reason this like this one little

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tidbit prompted the newspaper to speculate that maybe the object came from mercury or

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Uranus based on absolutely nothing. The fact that that hieroglyphics is it's weird speculation

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I worked and that's weird speculation. I came out here to avoid animal noises and there's

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a fucking dog barking. I can't hear it. You're fine. I'm sorry. Okay. No, this one had mentioned

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it just in case you do. No, that's good. No, obviously this is probably just a meteor that

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crashed into the mountain. But the fact that I don't know about that. You don't know what

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it what is your what is your take on what you think this is. It's probably a craft some

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sort of some sort of craft. Now the fact he stated there were hieroglyphs carved into

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it and that he was certain they were quote the works of human hands. It is kind of weird

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and I'm sure like ancient alien believers probably cite this story as like like a holy

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grail of evidence. But I don't know. So yeah, so that's the first story. That's the story

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of Jim Lomley and he's in Canada. Oh Jim Lomley. Jim Lomley down Missouri way. The next story

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is called. You know what to do. You know what to dive deeper into Jim Lomley. No, that's

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that's really all there was. There's that like one newspaper article. But I got a couple

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stories for you. There's no more information out there on Jim Lomley. That's it. That's

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all we got. I think we can reach out to the estate. We get a get a quote from old Jim.

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I bet he's still around. When was this? This is the eighteen hundreds. Yeah, he's still

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around. This is eighteen sixty five. So there's not a lot going on there. You know, I'll put

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in a FOIA request and see what I can find out. We'll find out. Yeah, we'll do it. We'll

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get to the bottom of it. We'll do an update later later down the line. But me personally,

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I think it was a craft. He was a craft, some sort of saw some kind of some sort of hovercraft

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piloted by a little little little boy. Oh, well, if you want to know about pilots, here

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it was. Here we go. So this one is the story of the Aurora alien in the early in the early

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morning of April 17th, 1897 in the town of Aurora, Texas. Local saw a strange object

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streak low across the sky. Just had a stroke streak low across the sky. It was heading

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in a northerly direction, crossing over the town square. And soon after it crashed right

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into Judge J.S. Proctor's windmill, causing the craft to explode, creating a debris field

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covering several acres and even destroying the judges prize flower garden in the process.

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This was all in the newspaper. They had to really point out that it's his windmill and

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his flower garden got fucking just completely destroyed. It created a path of carnage. No,

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a ton of hieroglyphs everywhere. Just hold on now. A ton of residents witnessed the object

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and it's just in its destruction. But they were also witness to something more than just

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a fiery crash and debris. They also witnessed the pilot. Oh, according according to the

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night to the April 19th, 1897 article in the Dallas Morning News about the incident, quote,

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the pilot of the ship is supposed to have been the only one on board. And while his

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remains are badly disfigured and enough of the original has been picked up to show that

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he was not an inhabitant of this world, end quote. And then it went on to say that papers

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found on this person, evidently the records of his travels are written in some unknown

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hieroglyphs and can't be deciphered. Oh, maybe it's maybe it's the cipher. Maybe it's the

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cipher for the story. Yeah. The original story is the original cipher. You know, so they

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need the cipher. They need a ciphering stone to decipher this guy's hieroglyphs on the

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paper in his pocket. That's right. All right. Now that's right. It's like a like a zodiac,

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but instead of killing people, it's just creating paths of carnage with their just aliens fucking

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up towns left and right. That's right. Yeah. Just doing property damage for no good reason.

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Well, there is a good reason. You got to read the glyphs. You got to read the glyphs. They

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hold all the secrets. I reckon you got to read the glyphs a little bit. I reckon. Yeah.

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All right. The article also concluded with a quote, the pilot's funeral will take place

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at noon tomorrow. And according to reports, the funeral actually did indeed happen. And

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the quote unquote pilot was buried in the Aurora cemetery with full Christian rights. And there

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was a headstone and everything. Wow. So there's an alien buried in Aurora cemetery and nobody's

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fucking dug it up or anything. Nothing. No, some guy apparently was like doing research

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and he did one of those, like the thing where they move the thing across the grass back

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and forth and it kind of like pump sonar and there is a tiny casket in the ground. So I

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mean like there was no one at the fucking funeral. Like no one saw. Oh no, there was

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people there. Yeah. Close, close, close, close casket. His body was very badly charred and

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burned. It was like a nice smoked brisket. Well, I mean, I saw, I saw what they were

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able to do with my papi's corpse. I reckon they could do some magic working. Yeah. So,

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but yeah, that's the story of the Aurora alien. Now there's more to the story. Some guy apparently

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ended up buying the farm that it crashed into like the past. He passed away. The windmill.

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No, but he bought the farm, but apparently, but like about papi bought the farm, but apparently

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the like the debris from the spaceship, instead of like disposing of it properly, they just

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threw it in the well that was under, that was under the windmill. And that's fucking

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awesome. So he was cleaning out that he was cleaning out the debris and apparently he

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wanted to use the well for water, like it's intended purpose. And he, he apparently, but

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after handling all the debris, he got like one of the most severe cases of arthritis

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that anyone's ever heard of. So he just threw the debris back into the well and then covered

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it with a building so that no one can get to it ever again. And then his arthritis magically

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disappeared overnight. I don't think so, but that would've been fucking good if that's

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how it went down. That would be pretty fun. Oh shit. All right, Justin. So this is going

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to be the last of the stories. This is a little longer one. This is the, this is the story

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of the unsolved case of the mystery airships. I like the name, the mystery airships or phantom

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airships was an unidentified flying object that was seen by thousands of people across

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the country in the late 1896 and early 1897 and are considered to be like the spiritual

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predecessor to like modern UFO sightings. Yeah. Sightings of the mystery airship usually

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occurred at night with people seeing strange lights in the sky, but more detailed and up

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close like sightings described it almost like a zeppelin, like a, like an air, like a fucking,

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what was the Hindenburg? It's like kind of like that. Yeah. But, uh, when was this? This

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is 1896. I remember, remember, remember the year. Well,

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it's, uh, but I mean what they're kind of describing is what I guess they would call

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in the UFO community, a cigar shaped UFO. I don't know if you, yeah. Yeah. Oh, I'm familiar.

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I'm familiar. I figured you would be now. Uh, the first wave of reports of about the

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mystery mysterious ship started in November 17th, uh, started in November 17th to sometime

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ended in like mid December of 1896 and it was confined mostly to the west coast of the

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United States, like California, that kind of shit. Uh, with the first sighting taking

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place in Sacramento, when witnesses saw a slow moving light just 1000 feet off the ground

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with some witnesses claiming they could see like a dark shape behind the light. And then

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one, one witness RL Lowry claimed he heard a voice coming from inside the craft, shout,

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shouting orders to increase altitude to avoid crashing into the steeple of a church. Uh,

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others claimed that they could hear singing as it passed overhead. And then our Lowry

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claimed that he saw the people piloting it and they were, uh, it was just two dudes and

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they were using, uh, it was like a bicycle pedal powered, like there's just two dudes

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just going to apeshit some bicycle pedals. That's awesome. That's a great mental image.

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Uh, we're just piloting the cigar. That's all, you know, a couple of guys, a couple

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of guys, just two dudes, just vibing. Uh, then on November 9th, what do you got? Wait, before,

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before you continue, I just got to, I have to say how happy I am that there's more than

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one RL in the world. I've only heard of Stein before. I'm happy that another one exists.

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Yeah. He really is the only one, isn't he? He's only on the matters. Yeah. He's, RL's

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got the, he's kind of like the monopoly of, uh, RLs these days. Yeah. Cause this, this

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guy's got all the power. This RL Lowry is a long, long since expired. Well, you never

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know. You think that this man, that's about, he could be, I don't fucking know. So we're

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talking to, so what do you got? So RL Stein. So, uh, the next sighting was, this guy possibly

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still alive from the 1890s. Possibly. Uh, the next story is on November 19th, 1896,

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the daily mail out of Stockton, uh, printed an article that featured what would be like

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the earliest accounts of an alleged alien craft and attempted abduction. This is probably

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my favorite alien abduction story I've ever heard by a entire life. So the story goes,

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I've never heard an attempted abduction before. I've only heard of, uh, you know, a hundred

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percent success rate for the most part. This is the story goes that Colonel H. These weren't

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aliens at all. It was just two guys inside of fucking cigar, dude. Dude, it kind of,

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when you hear what happens during this abduction, you're going to just assume that's what it

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is. Cause the story goes that Colonel H. G. Shaw was driving his horse and buggy on a

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country road in Lodi. Uh, when he saw what he claimed to, uh, have been a landed spacecraft

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that he described as having a metallic surface that was completely featureless aside from

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a rudder, it was about 25 feet in diameter and about 150 feet in length. He then said

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that three slender, seven foot tall extraterrestrials came out of the ship and approached him all

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while making like a strange warbling noise. I don't know what that could be, but in my

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head it's like, like that's what the sound I hear. Uh, he said, he said, he said the

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aliens then examined his buggy before trying to physically force him off of the buggy and

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back to the ship. But they gave up pretty quickly when it became apparent that they

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lacked the strength to force him off of his buggy. So they, uh, once they realized they

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were like weighing over their heads, uh, they just hauled ass back to their ship and then

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promptly just got the hell out of there. They couldn't peel me off the buggy. I'm too fucking

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strong. Yeah. He's like, I just pictured them being like, come on, come on. And he's like,

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fuck. And I just went fucking dead weight. They couldn't pull me if they tried. I don't

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know why, but Shaw for some reason decided that the creature creatures were of Martian

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Martian origin and believe they were sent to kidnap an earth earthling for quote unknowable,

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but potentially nefarious purposes. So then just, I love it. Then just two days later

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on November 21st, the lights reappear over Sacramento as well as over Folsom Oakland,

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San Francisco, Modesto, and a whole bunch of other cities later that night, uh, being

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witnessed by hundreds of people with a few more sightings occurring up into December.

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Now the second wave of sightings took place from January to may of 1897, but this time

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in central and Eastern United States. And there's a bunch of these stories, but I'm

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just going to tell you like a few of my favorite ones. Uh, one witness in Arkansas was supposedly

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told by a pilot of one of these airships that he was heading to Cuba to use his Hotchkiss

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guns to kill Spaniards. Oh my goodness. Then, oh my goodness. On April 10, 1897, a newspaper

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in St. Louis, uh, published a sighting from a man named WH Hopkins who said he encountered

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a grounded airship near Springfield, Missouri. He claimed the ship was being crewed by a

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beautiful nude woman and a bearded man who was also nude. Uh, he tried to communicate

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with them to figure out like where they were from. And after some time they eventually

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understood what he was trying to say. And they just pointed to the sky and quote, uttered

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something that sounded like the word Mars. So all right. I love it. Uh, that was me.

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Yeah. Several newspapers and wait, does it say how was, how was, how was the hog on him?

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Oh, it was he corked out or what? Does it, does it say no, but I mean, I'm assuming

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he's fucking corks, dude. He's probably got a fucking mass. It's probably pretty nice

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one. He's an, he's an alien. I'm sure. Nice one on him. Yeah. Uh, no, several news. It

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wasn't big, but it was nice, dude. It was nice. Smooth, very smooth. Right. Right. Uh,

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that's what you want. No. So several newspapers in Minneapolis reported that on April 13th,

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a doctor was abducted at gunpoint to care for the captain of an airship that was sick

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from the flu. Uh, the doctor managed to escape after like a bit of a struggle by jumping

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from the airship 40 feet down into the lake that was beneath them. Uh, this story was

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later found to be fake and the doctor just, the real story is that he just fell through

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the ice and the lake while he was trying to cross it. If not because he jumped from an

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airship. Yeah. He just wanted it to sound cooler. I get it. Yeah. I mean, you don't

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want to seem pretty dumb. It's just crossing a frozen. Like you gotta come up with something

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good. He's a doctor too. Right. But also why would an alien need to abduct you at gunpoint?

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I feel like these alien abductions are not, they weren't smooth in the 1800s. Not like

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today. No, no, no. This is like some real amateurish shit. Uh, did you say the guy was

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a doctor too or did I make that up? He was a doctor. He was. Yeah. Okay. He didn't want

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people to think he was a fucking dumbass. Can't even walk across the ice properly. Let's

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you're a doctor, dude. You're supposed to know. He's just trying to say everything.

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The last one happened sometime around April 19th of 1897 in Leroy, Kansas, when Alexander

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Hamilton, not the president, his son and some dude that was living with them at the time

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said, uh, they saw an airship hovering over their cattle pen. After some examination of

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the situation, they noticed a red quote unquote cable coming from the ship that was lassoed

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around one of Hamilton's heifers. Unfortunately for the airship, it also got that cable tangled

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around the fence post of the pen. So Hamilton used this opportunity to try and save his

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cow, but he wasn't able to free it. So instead he cut away a portion of the fence. Then he,

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then he quote stood in amazement to see the ship cow and all rise slowly and sail off.

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Now some have suggested that this could possibly be one of like the first attempts at like

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cattle mutilation. Yeah. But in reality, uh, this story was debunked in 1977 when a UFO

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researcher did some digging and discovered that the whole story was a very, very successful

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attempt by Hamilton, uh, to win a liar's club competition to come up with the most outlandish

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story and I believe he did win that. So, Oh, hell yeah. I like that. Good for him. Good

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for Hamilton. Yeah. Uh, but yeah, that's it. These are the, these were, uh, these were

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the stories of UFOs in the wild west. How you feeling? I reckon I feel pretty good about

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it. I reckon I'm all right home about it. Yeah. Yeah. You got any, uh, you know, comments,

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questions, you know, you got any theories? Yeah. I got a lot of them. I got a whole lot

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of them, Dave. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know if you pay attention to that. I don't see pay

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attention to, uh, Tom DeLong's tweets about aliens sometimes. Oh man. The last time I

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read something that he wrote, he just, he just writes these really vague things and

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people are like, Oh, he's so smart. He wrote, uh, he wrote, uh, that these aliens are from,

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they're from time. Or as he says, time. What does that even mean? I don't know. Like they're

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like time beings. Yeah. I think he's implying that they're like future humans or something

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like that, which would explain the guys growing in the fucking cigar. They weren't from like

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that far in the future. That's like, you know, no, yeah, they, they small leaps and bounds,

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just tiny ones to advance a little bit further. No. Uh, but I mean, I've heard that theory

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that aliens are just humans from the future. Yeah. It's like a whole like theory that the

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moon doesn't didn't exist until like not that long ago. Oh yeah. Like it just appeared in

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the sky because future humans built the moon and then put it there. Yeah. I don't know.

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So I, I heard there was some sort of mining operation underneath the surface and you can

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see documentaries. Oh yeah. Yeah. Those shit on YouTube. It's like you fall down that rabbit

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hole. You'll be there all day. Yeah. There was a, there was a documentary on Netflix

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called like structures on the moon. That's what it was actually. It was, it was on, it

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was on Netflix. It was a secrets of the moon exposed. That's when it was. I want to use

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it again. I don't think it's on there anymore, but oh God, probably not. Very informative.

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Very informative. It was well, Justin, that's the end of the episode. I want to see the

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smoke stacks. What? Under the surface of the moon. You could see them. God damn it. They

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said there were smoke stacks. I could see them with the satellite. Oh, obviously. Yeah.

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Duh. This is a very smart documentary. Really smart stuff. Anyway, I don't believe that.

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Um, all right, Justin, well, you got anything you want to plug? You want to plug something

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real quick before we sign off? I do a podcast. Do the cool parents podcast with Curtis Charles,

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who's on the year show before early on, right? Yeah. And where, where can they find you?

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You talked about, you talked about Danny DeVito a lot. Yeah. Um, yeah, they can find it's

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a Spotify iTunes, Apple pie and all that shit everywhere. Cool parents podcast in parentheses,

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not a parenting podcast. Yeah. Is that new? Yeah, that's new. Yeah. Cause we were, yeah,

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we were getting some targeted things that were, yeah, just getting the wrong idea. Um,

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and yeah, we have a band, cool parents too. We have a record as in, you know, it's all

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online. You can find it anywhere. Yeah. I mean, I'll, I'll put a link in the description

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anyways. Um, all right. Yeah. Uh, but if you want to follow us, just go to, uh, at cryptic

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cocktail on Instagram, create a cocktail party on tick tock. Uh, we've got a Patreon. It's

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like $5 a month. I think I don't remember how much I said, but I'm doing some cool shit

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over there. You guys watching like QB Halloween. You watching QB Halloween with the commentary

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or no, no. No. All right. You want me to say bye? Yeah. Say bye. Well, God bless you. Thank

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you for coming. God bless you. I reckon it's time for me to be a hit.