1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:05,520 Hello everyone and welcome to the first ever episode of the Cryptid Cocktail Party. 2 00:00:05,520 --> 00:00:07,920 My name is Dave, I'll be your host. 3 00:00:07,920 --> 00:00:08,920 And today I am... 4 00:00:08,920 --> 00:00:09,920 Oh no, that's not good. 5 00:00:09,920 --> 00:00:11,920 I gotta tell them what the show's about, right? 6 00:00:11,920 --> 00:00:13,960 Right, yeah, yeah, yeah. 7 00:00:13,960 --> 00:00:18,360 Hello everyone and welcome to the inaugural episode of the Cryptid Cocktail Party. 8 00:00:18,360 --> 00:00:19,360 My name is Dave. 9 00:00:19,360 --> 00:00:21,760 No, I fucked up again. 10 00:00:21,760 --> 00:00:22,760 I got it. 11 00:00:22,760 --> 00:00:23,760 I got it. 12 00:00:23,760 --> 00:00:24,760 You ready? 13 00:00:24,760 --> 00:00:49,040 Let's do this. 14 00:00:49,040 --> 00:00:53,120 Hello everyone, welcome to the very first episode of the Cryptid Cocktail Party, a show 15 00:00:53,120 --> 00:00:58,400 where I talk to my friends, have a few drinks, and make them listen to me rant about cryptids 16 00:00:58,400 --> 00:01:01,240 for a half hour to an hour. 17 00:01:01,240 --> 00:01:05,840 I'm your host Dave and joined today for the very first episode is my good friend, Colby 18 00:01:05,840 --> 00:01:06,840 Clark. 19 00:01:06,840 --> 00:01:07,840 How you doing, bud? 20 00:01:07,840 --> 00:01:08,840 I'm doing good. 21 00:01:08,840 --> 00:01:09,840 Hi there everybody. 22 00:01:09,840 --> 00:01:10,840 Hi there David. 23 00:01:10,840 --> 00:01:11,840 Yeah, you look good. 24 00:01:11,840 --> 00:01:12,840 Well, thank you. 25 00:01:12,840 --> 00:01:13,840 Yeah. 26 00:01:13,840 --> 00:01:21,920 It's just me, you know, just still, still, you know, just chugging along, living, you 27 00:01:21,920 --> 00:01:22,920 know. 28 00:01:22,920 --> 00:01:27,080 You look like a roofer from Danvers, Massachusetts right now with the Carhartt hat on. 29 00:01:27,080 --> 00:01:28,080 Nice. 30 00:01:28,080 --> 00:01:29,080 Nice. 31 00:01:29,080 --> 00:01:30,080 Yeah. 32 00:01:30,080 --> 00:01:35,360 You know, being a contractor, you got to assimilate, you know, you got to blend in, look the part. 33 00:01:35,360 --> 00:01:36,360 Is that what it is? 34 00:01:36,360 --> 00:01:37,360 I got a Carhartt hat. 35 00:01:37,360 --> 00:01:38,360 Yeah, I got a couple. 36 00:01:38,360 --> 00:01:39,360 You got a couple? 37 00:01:39,360 --> 00:01:41,400 You have multiple Carhartt hats? 38 00:01:41,400 --> 00:01:43,480 I got different colors, man, you know. 39 00:01:43,480 --> 00:01:44,480 No, I mean, I guess. 40 00:01:44,480 --> 00:01:45,480 You got to accessorize. 41 00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:46,480 I know. 42 00:01:46,480 --> 00:01:47,480 You got that Carhartt drip. 43 00:01:47,480 --> 00:01:48,480 I like it. 44 00:01:48,480 --> 00:01:51,160 Well, Carhartt's like actually, apparently like it's in fashion now. 45 00:01:51,160 --> 00:01:52,160 It is. 46 00:01:52,160 --> 00:01:58,120 It is in fashion until you got to drive a fucking big truck or something. 47 00:01:58,120 --> 00:02:05,040 Did you know that Carhartt has a, Carhartt has a like a street wear like branch off of 48 00:02:05,040 --> 00:02:06,040 Carhartt? 49 00:02:06,040 --> 00:02:07,040 Oh, OK. 50 00:02:07,040 --> 00:02:08,040 Nice. 51 00:02:08,040 --> 00:02:13,920 I only know this because we, we went to San Francisco recently and Allie wanted to get 52 00:02:13,920 --> 00:02:20,160 a bag to carry like our wallets and passports and shit in. 53 00:02:20,160 --> 00:02:25,120 And so she got like, you know, those like really tiny like strap bags that like everyone 54 00:02:25,120 --> 00:02:26,120 wears. 55 00:02:26,120 --> 00:02:27,640 It's that, it's Carhartt, it's camo. 56 00:02:27,640 --> 00:02:28,640 It's pretty sick. 57 00:02:28,640 --> 00:02:29,640 Nice. 58 00:02:29,640 --> 00:02:30,640 Anyway. 59 00:02:30,640 --> 00:02:31,640 Hell yeah. 60 00:02:31,640 --> 00:02:34,560 They make quality stuff, you know, we're looking to get sponsored here. 61 00:02:34,560 --> 00:02:35,560 Are we? 62 00:02:35,560 --> 00:02:36,560 By Carhartt? 63 00:02:36,560 --> 00:02:40,640 Well, I guess I'm going to, if I'm going to go fucking hunting for cryptids, I guess I 64 00:02:40,640 --> 00:02:42,200 need the best gear. 65 00:02:42,200 --> 00:02:43,200 And who makes the best gear? 66 00:02:43,200 --> 00:02:44,200 You do? 67 00:02:44,200 --> 00:02:45,200 Carhartt. 68 00:02:45,200 --> 00:02:46,200 There you go. 69 00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:47,200 Boom. 70 00:02:47,200 --> 00:02:48,200 Sponsor us, please. 71 00:02:48,200 --> 00:02:53,120 All right, so like I said in the intro, this is Cryptid Cocktail Party, a show where we're 72 00:02:53,120 --> 00:02:54,560 going to have a couple of drinks. 73 00:02:54,560 --> 00:02:59,540 I'm going to talk at Colby about cryptids, because I feel like if you're talking to anyone 74 00:02:59,540 --> 00:03:03,600 about cryptids, aliens, high strangers, you're never talking to them. 75 00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:05,240 It's mostly just talking at them. 76 00:03:05,240 --> 00:03:06,240 Right. 77 00:03:06,240 --> 00:03:07,240 Understood. 78 00:03:07,240 --> 00:03:08,240 Yeah. 79 00:03:08,240 --> 00:03:09,240 Hit me. 80 00:03:09,240 --> 00:03:12,160 Colby, you're not a cryptids, aliens type guy. 81 00:03:12,160 --> 00:03:13,800 I know you like the X-Files. 82 00:03:13,800 --> 00:03:16,680 I know you like, what was that other one? 83 00:03:16,680 --> 00:03:18,040 Twin Peaks, like that kind of stuff. 84 00:03:18,040 --> 00:03:19,640 But you're not like a big. 85 00:03:19,640 --> 00:03:27,360 I mean, I don't go like looking for the information and like diving deep into the interwebs or 86 00:03:27,360 --> 00:03:28,360 anything like that. 87 00:03:28,360 --> 00:03:31,440 I haven't really read any cryptid books or anything like that. 88 00:03:31,440 --> 00:03:33,640 I'm sure there's a wealth of knowledge out there. 89 00:03:33,640 --> 00:03:36,160 I'm definitely interested. 90 00:03:36,160 --> 00:03:38,680 And that's what intrigues me about this podcast for sure. 91 00:03:38,680 --> 00:03:44,800 But yeah, and the X-Files, I don't know how we got wrapped up in X-Files watching that. 92 00:03:44,800 --> 00:03:49,640 It's Twin Peaks too, but yeah, I'm interested in the spooky. 93 00:03:49,640 --> 00:03:50,640 Yeah. 94 00:03:50,640 --> 00:03:53,720 It's not something you're not going to, you wouldn't kick out of bed for eating. 95 00:03:53,720 --> 00:03:54,720 You know what I mean? 96 00:03:54,720 --> 00:03:56,400 Like you're welcome to it. 97 00:03:56,400 --> 00:03:57,400 No. 98 00:03:57,400 --> 00:03:58,400 Yeah. 99 00:03:58,400 --> 00:03:59,400 We eat in bed all the time. 100 00:03:59,400 --> 00:04:00,400 Most of our meals are eaten in bed. 101 00:04:00,400 --> 00:04:01,400 All right, Colby. 102 00:04:01,400 --> 00:04:05,680 Well, I gave you two options before we started recording and you chose option one for what 103 00:04:05,680 --> 00:04:06,840 we're going to talk about today. 104 00:04:06,840 --> 00:04:10,560 So today we're going to travel not only back in time, but down to the South. 105 00:04:10,560 --> 00:04:15,200 We are heading to West Virginia. 106 00:04:15,200 --> 00:04:16,200 Right there. 107 00:04:16,200 --> 00:04:19,440 I'm going to edit in John, John Denver singing that part. 108 00:04:19,440 --> 00:04:20,440 Take me home. 109 00:04:20,440 --> 00:04:21,440 Yeah. 110 00:04:21,440 --> 00:04:22,440 Yeah. 111 00:04:22,440 --> 00:04:23,440 Place where I belong. 112 00:04:23,440 --> 00:04:24,440 Yeah. 113 00:04:24,440 --> 00:04:25,440 So today we're going to talk about the Flatwoods monster. 114 00:04:25,440 --> 00:04:28,120 Are you familiar with the Flatwoods monster at all? 115 00:04:28,120 --> 00:04:29,120 Never. 116 00:04:29,120 --> 00:04:30,120 Never? 117 00:04:30,120 --> 00:04:31,120 Never. 118 00:04:31,120 --> 00:04:32,120 Not even once, Kev? 119 00:04:32,120 --> 00:04:34,680 No, not even once. 120 00:04:34,680 --> 00:04:38,880 Save your save, save your Boston accent for later because that's going to come into play. 121 00:04:38,880 --> 00:04:39,880 Yeah. 122 00:04:39,880 --> 00:04:40,880 I don't know. 123 00:04:40,880 --> 00:04:41,880 It just came out. 124 00:04:41,880 --> 00:04:42,880 All right. 125 00:04:42,880 --> 00:04:43,880 So you're ready to dive in. 126 00:04:43,880 --> 00:04:46,440 I'm going to give you so much fucking knowledge. 127 00:04:46,440 --> 00:04:51,000 I spent forever writing this and by forever, I mean, I did about two hours of research 128 00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:53,520 and then wrote down basically what I read. 129 00:04:53,520 --> 00:04:55,160 I just plagiarized this whole thing. 130 00:04:55,160 --> 00:04:56,160 Oh, perfect. 131 00:04:56,160 --> 00:04:57,160 Okay. 132 00:04:57,160 --> 00:04:58,160 All right. 133 00:04:58,160 --> 00:04:59,160 Yes. 134 00:04:59,160 --> 00:05:00,160 Yes, I'm ready. 135 00:05:00,160 --> 00:05:01,160 All right. 136 00:05:01,160 --> 00:05:07,040 So on September 12th, 1952 in the small village of Flatwoods, West Virginia, four young boys, 137 00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:11,480 Eddie, Freddie, Teddy and Nettie, not really. 138 00:05:11,480 --> 00:05:16,480 Come on. 139 00:05:16,480 --> 00:05:20,120 How do I become friends with all these people? 140 00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:25,640 Four young boys, Eddie and Freddie May, who are brothers, Tommy Hire and Neil Nunley were 141 00:05:25,640 --> 00:05:32,200 playing whatever the 1950s version of Pokemon was outside of the Flatwoods Elementary School. 142 00:05:32,200 --> 00:05:33,920 I don't know what that would be. 143 00:05:33,920 --> 00:05:37,080 I think they were actually playing football, but in my mind, it's funnier to imagine them 144 00:05:37,080 --> 00:05:43,480 playing like Jax or whatever that stick ball game, the one with the cup and it's like attached 145 00:05:43,480 --> 00:05:44,480 to it. 146 00:05:44,480 --> 00:05:45,480 Yeah. 147 00:05:45,480 --> 00:05:47,160 I don't know where it could physically hurt you. 148 00:05:47,160 --> 00:05:49,560 That's the 1950s small toys for you. 149 00:05:49,560 --> 00:05:52,480 Dude, that was a lawless time. 150 00:05:52,480 --> 00:05:53,480 Let's all just be honest. 151 00:05:53,480 --> 00:05:57,120 I just gave kids shit that could hurt them like have fun. 152 00:05:57,120 --> 00:05:58,480 I mean, we had to know better. 153 00:05:58,480 --> 00:06:02,480 Our fucking playgrounds are made out of twisted steel inside of rocks. 154 00:06:02,480 --> 00:06:04,480 So right. 155 00:06:04,480 --> 00:06:05,480 The fuck out of that? 156 00:06:05,480 --> 00:06:07,680 You know, they got what do they got now? 157 00:06:07,680 --> 00:06:08,680 Like rubber? 158 00:06:08,680 --> 00:06:09,680 Yeah, basically. 159 00:06:09,680 --> 00:06:10,680 Nice. 160 00:06:10,680 --> 00:06:11,680 All right. 161 00:06:11,680 --> 00:06:13,160 Kids these days. 162 00:06:13,160 --> 00:06:17,160 So it was around 7 p.m. It was almost full, fully dark when all of a sudden they see a 163 00:06:17,160 --> 00:06:23,920 bright red light streak across the night sky and then crash onto a hillside, which belonged 164 00:06:23,920 --> 00:06:25,120 to G Bailey Fishers. 165 00:06:25,120 --> 00:06:26,720 It was right on this farm. 166 00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:31,080 So the boys were joking about it being a flying saucer and alien invasion. 167 00:06:31,080 --> 00:06:34,800 One of the boys said that was most likely a meteor and that they should go retrieve 168 00:06:34,800 --> 00:06:39,080 it and bring it to the geological society like a fucking intergalactic narc. 169 00:06:39,080 --> 00:06:40,800 I'm going to guess that was Neil. 170 00:06:40,800 --> 00:06:45,000 That sounds like Neil has a Neil's a fucking nerd. 171 00:06:45,000 --> 00:06:48,920 I don't really know that for to be true, but his name is Neil. 172 00:06:48,920 --> 00:06:49,920 Right. 173 00:06:49,920 --> 00:06:53,920 He read a couple too many books early on and his friends started picking on him. 174 00:06:53,920 --> 00:06:54,920 He had to own it. 175 00:06:54,920 --> 00:06:58,960 Well, I think I think what I read was, you know what I read was I think one of their 176 00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:03,200 teachers or something said that if you see a meteor, that's what you should do. 177 00:07:03,200 --> 00:07:11,120 So I mean, don't alert the wrong authorities, you know, because they're just going to cover 178 00:07:11,120 --> 00:07:12,120 it up. 179 00:07:12,120 --> 00:07:16,640 You want to alert the right people, you know, the geological society. 180 00:07:16,640 --> 00:07:18,200 Maybe maybe he was right. 181 00:07:18,200 --> 00:07:21,680 Maybe he was like, yeah, let's inform a scientist. 182 00:07:21,680 --> 00:07:25,640 You would think, but it's not what happens. 183 00:07:25,640 --> 00:07:29,240 Fucking Neil, fucking Neil. 184 00:07:29,240 --> 00:07:31,000 Either way, the boys interests were piqued. 185 00:07:31,000 --> 00:07:36,320 So they decided to investigate as all small children do when they decide to when they 186 00:07:36,320 --> 00:07:39,680 see a fucking something crash into the side of a hill. 187 00:07:39,680 --> 00:07:41,280 You run towards it. 188 00:07:41,280 --> 00:07:42,280 Yeah. 189 00:07:42,280 --> 00:07:43,580 So the May boys home was on the way. 190 00:07:43,580 --> 00:07:47,400 So they popped in to let their mother, Kathleen, know what they had just witnessed. 191 00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:52,520 And they were setting off on like a standby me type adventure to go poke dead alien bodies 192 00:07:52,520 --> 00:07:53,760 with sticks or some shit. 193 00:07:53,760 --> 00:07:54,760 I don't know. 194 00:07:54,760 --> 00:08:01,680 But Kathleen being best mom ever, she was like, oh, hell yeah, I'm in. 195 00:08:01,680 --> 00:08:04,240 Just got to make a quick phone call first. 196 00:08:04,240 --> 00:08:05,240 Hold up. 197 00:08:05,240 --> 00:08:12,000 Now, Colby, who do you think she called upon hearing that her two sons and their friends 198 00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:16,320 just witnessed a fireball crash into the side of a hill on a farm? 199 00:08:16,320 --> 00:08:19,120 Was it A, the police? 200 00:08:19,120 --> 00:08:22,120 B, a 17 year old boy? 201 00:08:22,120 --> 00:08:25,160 D, the Air Force? 202 00:08:25,160 --> 00:08:28,160 Loaded question. 203 00:08:28,160 --> 00:08:30,120 Oh, wow. 204 00:08:30,120 --> 00:08:36,000 I mean, if I'm pulling this thing apart, the police, they got nothing to do with the sky. 205 00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:39,360 The Air Force is like the police of the sky, right? 206 00:08:39,360 --> 00:08:41,440 Or Marines in the sky. 207 00:08:41,440 --> 00:08:44,040 I'm really hoping that she called the Air Force. 208 00:08:44,040 --> 00:08:45,360 I think that's the best answer. 209 00:08:45,360 --> 00:08:47,640 But I'm pretty sure she called the 17 year old boy. 210 00:08:47,640 --> 00:08:48,840 Why would you put that in there? 211 00:08:48,840 --> 00:08:53,400 Well, she called upon a 17 year old boy named Eugene Lemon, who, to be fair. 212 00:08:53,400 --> 00:08:55,960 Yes, he lemon all these people names. 213 00:08:55,960 --> 00:08:58,000 They're all names are awesome. 214 00:08:58,000 --> 00:08:59,000 So good. 215 00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:05,000 But to be fair, he was a national guardsman at the time. 216 00:09:05,000 --> 00:09:12,440 And so she called him to escort her, these four young boys and their family dog onto 217 00:09:12,440 --> 00:09:15,160 someone else's property to investigate a crash. 218 00:09:15,160 --> 00:09:16,160 That was a twist. 219 00:09:16,160 --> 00:09:21,680 That was a twist in your questioning, because you could have said a member of the National 220 00:09:21,680 --> 00:09:24,120 Guard who happened to be 17 years old. 221 00:09:24,120 --> 00:09:25,120 Yeah. 222 00:09:25,120 --> 00:09:27,320 But also, was the 1950s a different time? 223 00:09:27,320 --> 00:09:31,680 I thought you can you join the military 17 in 1950? 224 00:09:31,680 --> 00:09:39,880 Yeah, it was probably like as soon as you can see 50 yards away in the scope of a rifle, 225 00:09:39,880 --> 00:09:42,720 we're throwing you out there, son. 226 00:09:42,720 --> 00:09:44,120 I feel like it was harsher. 227 00:09:44,120 --> 00:09:47,880 Well, I think at this time was I think the Korean War was happening at this time. 228 00:09:47,880 --> 00:09:53,080 So maybe they loosened up on there. 229 00:09:53,080 --> 00:09:54,080 Like I don't know. 230 00:09:54,080 --> 00:09:59,920 Anyways, so this amateur team of ragtag segregation era paranormal investigators were approaching 231 00:09:59,920 --> 00:10:03,440 the crash scene. 232 00:10:03,440 --> 00:10:06,440 They noticed this mist hanging in the air. 233 00:10:06,440 --> 00:10:12,000 Now this mist, it burnt their eyes, mouths and lungs and was they said it smelled like 234 00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:19,040 sulfur or burning metal, which not going to lie right then and there, I would have bailed. 235 00:10:19,040 --> 00:10:20,040 Yeah. 236 00:10:20,040 --> 00:10:21,040 Yeah. 237 00:10:21,040 --> 00:10:22,760 If not before that, then yeah. 238 00:10:22,760 --> 00:10:25,080 Yeah, I wouldn't have gone to begin with. 239 00:10:25,080 --> 00:10:26,480 Like, okay, my eyes hurt. 240 00:10:26,480 --> 00:10:28,040 I'm going to go wash them out. 241 00:10:28,040 --> 00:10:29,040 Yeah. 242 00:10:29,040 --> 00:10:31,720 But anyway, so they continued on to the site. 243 00:10:31,720 --> 00:10:35,880 And when they did, they could see what appeared to be some sort of craft. 244 00:10:35,880 --> 00:10:38,520 It was emitting a bright red pulsating light. 245 00:10:38,520 --> 00:10:41,280 And by this time, the family dog noped out. 246 00:10:41,280 --> 00:10:44,000 He's like, fuck this and bales. 247 00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:50,040 But the group, the group pressed on when one of the boys noticed two glowing orbs off to 248 00:10:50,040 --> 00:10:51,160 their left. 249 00:10:51,160 --> 00:10:55,880 So Eugene shine the flashlight into the direction of the one lone oak tree that was sitting 250 00:10:55,880 --> 00:11:00,320 in the field and what they saw would change their lives in the town of Flatwoods forever. 251 00:11:00,320 --> 00:11:02,760 Colby, what do you think they saw? 252 00:11:02,760 --> 00:11:04,560 So is around the orbs. 253 00:11:04,560 --> 00:11:10,320 They saw orbs and then they saw they saw they saw two orbs standing by an oak tree. 254 00:11:10,320 --> 00:11:12,160 They shine the flashlight over. 255 00:11:12,160 --> 00:11:14,840 What did they see? 256 00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:24,120 A flat footed beast of the flat footed monster, alien nature. 257 00:11:24,120 --> 00:11:28,920 And also when he hit the woods, he became part yeti. 258 00:11:28,920 --> 00:11:29,920 Yeti. 259 00:11:29,920 --> 00:11:30,920 I don't know. 260 00:11:30,920 --> 00:11:33,640 I get like a real woodsy vibe right now. 261 00:11:33,640 --> 00:11:34,640 All right. 262 00:11:34,640 --> 00:11:38,000 Well, anyway, so standing there, being in the light of the flashlight was a 10 foot 263 00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:44,480 tall creature with bright glowing eyes, a spade shaped head and long claw like hands. 264 00:11:44,480 --> 00:11:46,040 It didn't appear to have any legs. 265 00:11:46,040 --> 00:11:51,360 It just seemed to kind of like hover there above the ground. 266 00:11:51,360 --> 00:11:56,240 The May brothers later on both agreed that it didn't appear to be living, but rather 267 00:11:56,240 --> 00:12:02,200 mechanical in nature, kind of like a like a Cronenberg version of Rosie from the Jetsons. 268 00:12:02,200 --> 00:12:03,200 Right. 269 00:12:03,200 --> 00:12:04,200 Right. 270 00:12:04,200 --> 00:12:05,200 Yeah. 271 00:12:05,200 --> 00:12:06,600 You said spade shaped head like. 272 00:12:06,600 --> 00:12:07,600 Yeah. 273 00:12:07,600 --> 00:12:08,600 Like a spade. 274 00:12:08,600 --> 00:12:09,600 Here, I'm going to I'm going to text you. 275 00:12:09,600 --> 00:12:10,600 Dang. 276 00:12:10,600 --> 00:12:13,760 I'm going to text you a photo of what they saw. 277 00:12:13,760 --> 00:12:16,120 And I just want to get your opinions on it. 278 00:12:16,120 --> 00:12:17,540 Not going to lie. 279 00:12:17,540 --> 00:12:19,240 It's not a good looking creature. 280 00:12:19,240 --> 00:12:20,240 It. 281 00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:21,240 Hmm. 282 00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:25,840 If I if I was like 10 years old and I saw this, what do you think? 283 00:12:25,840 --> 00:12:28,240 What are your first thoughts on this beast? 284 00:12:28,240 --> 00:12:29,240 That's fucking wild. 285 00:12:29,240 --> 00:12:30,240 Right. 286 00:12:30,240 --> 00:12:32,640 So, Colby, describe what you're seeing right now. 287 00:12:32,640 --> 00:12:48,200 I mean, the first one is the most horrific, nightmarish, black and white photo of R2D2 288 00:12:48,200 --> 00:12:52,520 on a playing card with a dress on. 289 00:12:52,520 --> 00:12:54,120 Is that what you're taking away from it? 290 00:12:54,120 --> 00:12:55,920 Yeah, that's what I'm going to. 291 00:12:55,920 --> 00:12:57,640 I'm going to call that one. 292 00:12:57,640 --> 00:12:58,640 OK. 293 00:12:58,640 --> 00:13:06,920 The second one seems more like human like, I guess a little bit in the face, but still 294 00:13:06,920 --> 00:13:10,120 very, very strange. 295 00:13:10,120 --> 00:13:16,280 Yeah, like there's there's probably never I don't want to say alien, but there's never 296 00:13:16,280 --> 00:13:18,360 been any aliens that have been like this. 297 00:13:18,360 --> 00:13:19,360 Right. 298 00:13:19,360 --> 00:13:20,360 And this isn't like a typical. 299 00:13:20,360 --> 00:13:22,120 No, this is like a weird one. 300 00:13:22,120 --> 00:13:27,280 Yeah, this isn't like your normal gray alien, you know, that you would normally say this 301 00:13:27,280 --> 00:13:28,280 is something. 302 00:13:28,280 --> 00:13:32,240 It didn't appear to be living. 303 00:13:32,240 --> 00:13:38,240 It appeared to be almost metallic, a mechanical type creature, I guess, which. 304 00:13:38,240 --> 00:13:39,240 OK. 305 00:13:39,240 --> 00:13:41,160 I mean, at that point, would you call it a monster? 306 00:13:41,160 --> 00:13:42,160 I don't know. 307 00:13:42,160 --> 00:13:44,160 But I guess that's not for us to decide. 308 00:13:44,160 --> 00:13:49,240 No, no monster inside of us. 309 00:13:49,240 --> 00:13:53,040 The third one, though, boy, what? 310 00:13:53,040 --> 00:14:01,960 Come on, that seems like animalistic in nature, almost like almost like an owl with, you know, 311 00:14:01,960 --> 00:14:06,000 like the feathers on the neck, chest area. 312 00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:08,360 And then they keep putting them in a dress. 313 00:14:08,360 --> 00:14:10,360 Him, it's probably. 314 00:14:10,360 --> 00:14:11,360 It's asexual. 315 00:14:11,360 --> 00:14:12,360 It's a robot, man. 316 00:14:12,360 --> 00:14:19,360 It can't be just just sticks the spade in. 317 00:14:19,360 --> 00:14:22,080 That's how he. 318 00:14:22,080 --> 00:14:30,040 See, my my first thoughts on looking at is that it reminded me of the aliens from Independence 319 00:14:30,040 --> 00:14:34,080 Day, almost that same style head and stuff like that. 320 00:14:34,080 --> 00:14:35,080 OK. 321 00:14:35,080 --> 00:14:40,520 Obviously, Independence Day didn't come out for another 50 years, but you can kind of 322 00:14:40,520 --> 00:14:41,520 see that inspiration. 323 00:14:41,520 --> 00:14:43,240 Well, anyways, right. 324 00:14:43,240 --> 00:14:46,400 Let's move on to the story. 325 00:14:46,400 --> 00:14:50,000 So at first, the creature didn't seem to notice the group. 326 00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:51,000 OK. 327 00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:56,240 And as soon as Lemon, being the fucking 17 year old, he is once he's shown his flashlight 328 00:14:56,240 --> 00:14:57,920 on it, it turned its gaze to them. 329 00:14:57,920 --> 00:15:01,240 They said that the eyes almost look like portholes, like they were almost empty and the light 330 00:15:01,240 --> 00:15:04,120 was emitting from inside of the creature. 331 00:15:04,120 --> 00:15:09,000 So at this point, terrified, Lemon dropped the flashlight and fell backwards. 332 00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:14,120 As that happened, the monster sprayed a sort of oil onto them, like an extraterrestrial 333 00:15:14,120 --> 00:15:18,620 like bukkake video before unleashing a high pitched hissing sound and gliding towards 334 00:15:18,620 --> 00:15:19,620 the group. 335 00:15:19,620 --> 00:15:26,640 And at this point, this is when they decide we should probably like. 336 00:15:26,640 --> 00:15:27,640 Get up on out of here. 337 00:15:27,640 --> 00:15:28,640 Yeah. 338 00:15:28,640 --> 00:15:29,640 Yeah. 339 00:15:29,640 --> 00:15:35,440 Well, you know, yeah, it wasn't the the burning I missed or the fucking house size UFO. 340 00:15:35,440 --> 00:15:37,680 No, it was when they were actually in danger. 341 00:15:37,680 --> 00:15:40,280 This group of people has no sense of self preservation. 342 00:15:40,280 --> 00:15:41,280 And I love it. 343 00:15:41,280 --> 00:15:42,280 It's 1950, man. 344 00:15:42,280 --> 00:15:43,280 They're right. 345 00:15:43,280 --> 00:15:47,560 You know, it's it's different time. 346 00:15:47,560 --> 00:15:50,000 It's a very different time. 347 00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:54,000 That's that's absolutely horrifying. 348 00:15:54,000 --> 00:16:01,080 Something started spraying like a was that thing that got Newman in the Jurassic Park 349 00:16:01,080 --> 00:16:04,080 type oil. 350 00:16:04,080 --> 00:16:06,440 I'm out. 351 00:16:06,440 --> 00:16:07,440 That's when you'd be out. 352 00:16:07,440 --> 00:16:10,200 Not any time before that. 353 00:16:10,200 --> 00:16:11,200 I'd be curious. 354 00:16:11,200 --> 00:16:12,200 It's 1950, man. 355 00:16:12,200 --> 00:16:13,200 You know. 356 00:16:13,200 --> 00:16:14,200 Why you keep saying that? 357 00:16:14,200 --> 00:16:15,200 What does that mean? 358 00:16:15,200 --> 00:16:17,640 We haven't found that many serial killers yet. 359 00:16:17,640 --> 00:16:18,640 People aren't as protected. 360 00:16:18,640 --> 00:16:19,640 That's fair. 361 00:16:19,640 --> 00:16:20,640 We're curious. 362 00:16:20,640 --> 00:16:23,560 We want to know. 363 00:16:23,560 --> 00:16:29,120 So after they get sprayed with the goo and the monster starts coming at them, they run 364 00:16:29,120 --> 00:16:30,760 back to the may home as fast as they could. 365 00:16:30,760 --> 00:16:34,560 At this point, everyone's sick in the house, devolves into chaos. 366 00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:37,520 Everyone's puking, coughing, crying. 367 00:16:37,520 --> 00:16:39,040 They're covered in space. 368 00:16:39,040 --> 00:16:44,920 Jizz and no one knows what the hell they just saw. 369 00:16:44,920 --> 00:16:48,560 You know that scene from Family Guy when they all take Ipacax here and they all just start 370 00:16:48,560 --> 00:16:49,560 puking on each other? 371 00:16:49,560 --> 00:16:53,200 It's basically that inside this household. 372 00:16:53,200 --> 00:16:58,400 So Kathleen, the mother, immediately gets on the phone and calls the sheriff's department, 373 00:16:58,400 --> 00:17:01,680 which I feel like she should have done from the beginning. 374 00:17:01,680 --> 00:17:03,200 But whatever. 375 00:17:03,200 --> 00:17:06,400 She calls them, let them know what they had seen and that there were some boys there who 376 00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:09,520 probably need to see a doctor. 377 00:17:09,520 --> 00:17:15,320 I brought some small boys with me. 378 00:17:15,320 --> 00:17:18,560 It was the smartest choice at the time, I promise. 379 00:17:18,560 --> 00:17:24,800 Well, apparently there's a very busy night in the West Virginia skies because it seems 380 00:17:24,800 --> 00:17:29,480 like the entire police force was out investigating other crashes reported throughout the county. 381 00:17:29,480 --> 00:17:34,000 A hitchhiker had called in to report something crashing into a hill. 382 00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:38,160 Another person reported seeing something similar not too far away. 383 00:17:38,160 --> 00:17:41,400 Like shit was popping off in West Virginia this night. 384 00:17:41,400 --> 00:17:47,280 So with no one to staff, they send a local reporter to the house. 385 00:17:47,280 --> 00:17:48,280 I don't know. 386 00:17:48,280 --> 00:17:52,120 But apparently this is something that the police have done ever so often. 387 00:17:52,120 --> 00:17:55,200 It's a small town, so it's not like they have like a huge police force. 388 00:17:55,200 --> 00:17:57,160 So I'm sure this dude is happy. 389 00:17:57,160 --> 00:17:58,720 I didn't get his name. 390 00:17:58,720 --> 00:18:02,800 Every report, every story I've read about the Flatwoods Monster, they're all different. 391 00:18:02,800 --> 00:18:07,440 So I just chose my favorite one and kind of based my research around that. 392 00:18:07,440 --> 00:18:08,440 OK. 393 00:18:08,440 --> 00:18:12,160 Either way, he interviewed everyone, went to the spot where the sighting had happened. 394 00:18:12,160 --> 00:18:16,120 But the ship, the fog, the monster, nowhere to be found. 395 00:18:16,120 --> 00:18:20,680 However, a later investigation of the site revealed what looked like to be an imprint 396 00:18:20,680 --> 00:18:22,120 where the craft was. 397 00:18:22,120 --> 00:18:24,320 And the ground did smell odd. 398 00:18:24,320 --> 00:18:30,080 A national guardsman who went out and investigated said it smelled almost like mustard gas, which 399 00:18:30,080 --> 00:18:35,880 is, I mean, the symptoms that they were experienced kind of lines up with mustard gas. 400 00:18:35,880 --> 00:18:41,160 I don't know, I've never been mustard gas, so I can't really tell you. 401 00:18:41,160 --> 00:18:45,520 But they also found what appeared to be skid marks leading from the oak tree where they 402 00:18:45,520 --> 00:18:49,040 spotted the creature down to where the craft would have been. 403 00:18:49,040 --> 00:18:53,360 But besides that, it's as if like none of it had ever happened. 404 00:18:53,360 --> 00:18:56,680 So it's really just the testimony of these small children and this woman. 405 00:18:56,680 --> 00:19:05,280 Now, Colby, no good UFO story would be complete without a good old visit from the men in black. 406 00:19:05,280 --> 00:19:06,280 Awesome. 407 00:19:06,280 --> 00:19:07,280 OK. 408 00:19:07,280 --> 00:19:08,280 Cool. 409 00:19:08,280 --> 00:19:14,560 So soon after the incident, two men in very nice suits arrived at Mrs. May's doorstep 410 00:19:14,560 --> 00:19:18,240 saying they were reporters from a neighboring city and wanted to do an interview and see 411 00:19:18,240 --> 00:19:21,140 the area where the sighting had occurred. 412 00:19:21,140 --> 00:19:23,560 So she brought them to the farm. 413 00:19:23,560 --> 00:19:25,080 Also, this is someone's farm. 414 00:19:25,080 --> 00:19:27,040 Where the fuck is the farmer in all this? 415 00:19:27,040 --> 00:19:28,040 They don't bring him up. 416 00:19:28,040 --> 00:19:29,040 He's not. 417 00:19:29,040 --> 00:19:30,040 He's never mentioned in this at all. 418 00:19:30,040 --> 00:19:31,040 He's smart. 419 00:19:31,040 --> 00:19:32,040 He's a smart man. 420 00:19:32,040 --> 00:19:34,920 You know, he was the first one that was like, all right. 421 00:19:34,920 --> 00:19:36,680 I guess I'm not a farmer anymore. 422 00:19:36,680 --> 00:19:39,600 I'm going to pack up and head out of here. 423 00:19:39,600 --> 00:19:40,600 Bail. 424 00:19:40,600 --> 00:19:42,280 He's like, all right, I'm out. 425 00:19:42,280 --> 00:19:44,600 Throw the baby out of the bath water, you know? 426 00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:45,600 I mean, I guess. 427 00:19:45,600 --> 00:19:47,520 But anyway, she brought him to the farm. 428 00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:48,520 They investigated the site. 429 00:19:48,520 --> 00:19:53,400 There was still some oily residue on the ground and they were just like raw palming that shit. 430 00:19:53,400 --> 00:19:57,440 They were just touching it with their hands, getting all of their suits. 431 00:19:57,440 --> 00:20:00,960 Did not did not care what it was, which seems pretty reckless. 432 00:20:00,960 --> 00:20:02,840 But also, I can't believe that would be protocol. 433 00:20:02,840 --> 00:20:04,600 No, this is early. 434 00:20:04,600 --> 00:20:07,320 Early M.I.B. is that was that what it is? 435 00:20:07,320 --> 00:20:12,040 Yeah, they were just just kind of forming some stuff. 436 00:20:12,040 --> 00:20:13,520 They were really just curious. 437 00:20:13,520 --> 00:20:15,160 No, I got you. 438 00:20:15,160 --> 00:20:16,160 All right. 439 00:20:16,160 --> 00:20:19,880 So as they go back to the maze home, where they question her some more and they say they 440 00:20:19,880 --> 00:20:24,840 want to sample the oil, which I mean, they could have easily got from the fields. 441 00:20:24,840 --> 00:20:30,480 So she offers them up the dress she was wearing the night of the incident because it was covered 442 00:20:30,480 --> 00:20:34,320 in the Martian splooge and she hadn't washed it yet. 443 00:20:34,320 --> 00:20:35,800 This is she gives it to them. 444 00:20:35,800 --> 00:20:37,560 They're like, hey, thanks. 445 00:20:37,560 --> 00:20:41,400 So listen, look, we're not reporters. 446 00:20:41,400 --> 00:20:43,120 We work for the Pentagon. 447 00:20:43,120 --> 00:20:44,440 Thanks for the dress. 448 00:20:44,440 --> 00:20:46,560 Don't tell anyone about this. 449 00:20:46,560 --> 00:20:48,560 We'll get the dress back to you, promise. 450 00:20:48,560 --> 00:20:52,160 And then they just left. 451 00:20:52,160 --> 00:20:55,140 So yeah, like I said, they said, don't tell anyone about this. 452 00:20:55,140 --> 00:20:58,480 But I want you to think back to a few minutes ago. 453 00:20:58,480 --> 00:21:02,880 Who did the police send to the house the night of the incident? 454 00:21:02,880 --> 00:21:03,880 A reporter. 455 00:21:03,880 --> 00:21:06,840 So soon the story was everywhere. 456 00:21:06,840 --> 00:21:07,840 All right. 457 00:21:07,840 --> 00:21:11,120 Local newspapers, local news. 458 00:21:11,120 --> 00:21:16,920 Eventually the national fucking spotlight was shown down on Flatwoods, Virginia for a while 459 00:21:16,920 --> 00:21:19,580 after this. 460 00:21:19,580 --> 00:21:25,080 But ever since the sightings in 1952, the creature has never made another appearance, 461 00:21:25,080 --> 00:21:31,520 but his presence is felt all around the region and beyond driving tourism to the area with 462 00:21:31,520 --> 00:21:33,800 museums, ice cream shops. 463 00:21:33,800 --> 00:21:40,160 They even built like these giant chairs in the image of the monster. 464 00:21:40,160 --> 00:21:48,040 But the Flatwoods monster or Braxy, I guess, as the locals call it, has been featured in 465 00:21:48,040 --> 00:21:54,680 a bunch of pop culture, movies, comics, video games, most notably the Legend of Zelda Majora's 466 00:21:54,680 --> 00:21:57,800 Mask and Fallout 76. 467 00:21:57,800 --> 00:22:02,400 Now even though the May brothers, who as far as I know are still alive to this day, have 468 00:22:02,400 --> 00:22:06,120 said that they wish it had never happened and that they could forget the whole thing, 469 00:22:06,120 --> 00:22:11,920 it seems as though the world isn't quite ready to move on from the legend that is the Flatwoods 470 00:22:11,920 --> 00:22:12,920 monster. 471 00:22:12,920 --> 00:22:17,400 Also, she never got her dress back. 472 00:22:17,400 --> 00:22:20,440 Son of a bitch. 473 00:22:20,440 --> 00:22:23,720 Is that why they put the dress in all the photos? 474 00:22:23,720 --> 00:22:26,280 You think they gave it to the Flatwoods monster? 475 00:22:26,280 --> 00:22:28,520 They're just poking at her. 476 00:22:28,520 --> 00:22:31,720 It was like, yeah, I remember that dress. 477 00:22:31,720 --> 00:22:36,840 So Colby, that is the story of the Flatwoods monster and the legend that precedes it. 478 00:22:36,840 --> 00:22:38,120 What did you think? 479 00:22:38,120 --> 00:22:39,120 That's cool, man. 480 00:22:39,120 --> 00:22:40,120 I don't know. 481 00:22:40,120 --> 00:22:47,760 I mean, Russian activity, possibly, you know, and they just never sent that creature out 482 00:22:47,760 --> 00:22:48,760 again. 483 00:22:48,760 --> 00:22:51,720 They're like, well, that was didn't work out well, did it? 484 00:22:51,720 --> 00:23:00,240 Well, apparently, sometime later, Kathleen May said in an interview that she received 485 00:23:00,240 --> 00:23:07,360 a letter from the Pentagon saying that it had been that that night, apparently they 486 00:23:07,360 --> 00:23:12,400 sent out five experimental rockets, one of them crash landed. 487 00:23:12,400 --> 00:23:19,800 And what she saw was one of the pilots or something like that, which, OK, I don't buy 488 00:23:19,800 --> 00:23:20,800 that. 489 00:23:20,800 --> 00:23:22,280 It always is, though, isn't it? 490 00:23:22,280 --> 00:23:23,280 Right. 491 00:23:23,280 --> 00:23:24,280 Yeah. 492 00:23:24,280 --> 00:23:30,720 Whether you're a human or a human from the future. 493 00:23:30,720 --> 00:23:34,200 It's never really an alien, you know? 494 00:23:34,200 --> 00:23:35,200 Yeah. 495 00:23:35,200 --> 00:23:38,160 But it's funny that you brought up when you're looking at the photos that one of them looks 496 00:23:38,160 --> 00:23:46,020 kind of like an owl, because that was another popular theory was that what they saw was 497 00:23:46,020 --> 00:23:50,280 actually just a barn owl sitting atop a branch. 498 00:23:50,280 --> 00:23:51,280 Right. 499 00:23:51,280 --> 00:23:57,320 But that doesn't make any sense, either, do do owls just like fucking piss oil all over 500 00:23:57,320 --> 00:23:58,320 you and screech? 501 00:23:58,320 --> 00:23:59,560 I guess they do screech at you. 502 00:23:59,560 --> 00:24:00,800 But I don't know. 503 00:24:00,800 --> 00:24:03,160 I don't mean maybe it's just the perfect storm. 504 00:24:03,160 --> 00:24:04,160 Right. 505 00:24:04,160 --> 00:24:12,120 You see an owl, this thing shoots a completely different thing is like spewing oil everywhere. 506 00:24:12,120 --> 00:24:13,800 And then over here, you got something else. 507 00:24:13,800 --> 00:24:15,680 And it's just all these things at once. 508 00:24:15,680 --> 00:24:17,840 Is that what you think happened? 509 00:24:17,840 --> 00:24:22,080 I think I think the government set it all up, man. 510 00:24:22,080 --> 00:24:25,960 I think they they they threw this all out there. 511 00:24:25,960 --> 00:24:29,120 And I think it was like a 1950s version of Dwight. 512 00:24:29,120 --> 00:24:32,200 It's just like, you know, let's let's see what they do. 513 00:24:32,200 --> 00:24:35,600 Oh, you think it was like him like setting the fire in the office? 514 00:24:35,600 --> 00:24:36,600 Yeah. 515 00:24:36,600 --> 00:24:37,600 Yeah. 516 00:24:37,600 --> 00:24:40,840 And then he's like, oh, shit, well, I probably shouldn't do that again. 517 00:24:40,840 --> 00:24:41,840 I don't know. 518 00:24:41,840 --> 00:24:44,400 Well, anyways, there's having to be an owl there. 519 00:24:44,400 --> 00:24:45,400 Yeah. 520 00:24:45,400 --> 00:24:48,000 All right. 521 00:24:48,000 --> 00:24:54,760 Well, Colby, thank you so much for listening to my story. 522 00:24:54,760 --> 00:24:55,760 I hope you enjoyed it. 523 00:24:55,760 --> 00:24:58,400 I hope everyone listening enjoyed it to me. 524 00:24:58,400 --> 00:24:59,400 Yeah. 525 00:24:59,400 --> 00:25:01,560 Our first episode in the books, I think it went pretty well. 526 00:25:01,560 --> 00:25:04,120 I'm still getting used to the whole reading and writing scripts. 527 00:25:04,120 --> 00:25:07,640 So if I stumbled a few times, I'm sorry, everyone, please don't abandon us. 528 00:25:07,640 --> 00:25:08,880 I think it'll get better. 529 00:25:08,880 --> 00:25:13,800 Maybe Dave's literacy is going to shoot through the moon after this. 530 00:25:13,800 --> 00:25:16,960 All right, well, thank you, everyone, so much for listening. 531 00:25:16,960 --> 00:25:18,400 Thanks again to Colby for joining us. 532 00:25:18,400 --> 00:25:24,400 Be sure to tune in next week where Colby will also be joining me for option two of the two 533 00:25:24,400 --> 00:25:51,040 options that I gave him.