the
next episode of Cryptid
Cocktail Party is brought to
you by Immortal Workshop. You
a fan of Metazoo? Then you
need to check out Immortal
Workshop, your go to source
for all things Metazoo
starting on March 31st
preorders for the highly
anticipated Metazoo native
set will be available on
immortal workshop.com. And
that's not all. Immortal
Workshop is also running a
giveaway on their site for a
chance to win $250 in store
credit. So don't miss out on
the chance to stock up on
the prize money. You can
get a free set of cards and
get a little cash while
you're at it. But the fun
doesn't stop there. Join the
Immortal Workshop community
on discord to participate
in their biweekly webcam
tournaments, which are
completely free to enter and
offer exciting prizes. Make
new friends, compete against
other players and improve
your metal zoo skills all at
once. So what are you
waiting for? Head to
immortal workshop.com and
join the Metazoo revolution,
your collection and your
fellow
Hello everyone and welcome back to another episode of Cryptid Cocktail Party, a show
where we have a few drinks, share a few laughs, and take a dive into the unknown.
Today I'm joined by Lisa, owner and operator of Cryptid Comforts and also organizer of
Squonkapalooza.
Lisa, how you doing?
Spectacular, glad to be here.
Yeah, I'm glad to have you.
So, I don't know, where do we start?
Where do we start?
Well, I don't know, wherever you want to, it's your show.
That's fair enough.
It's been a week, okay?
My brain's been all over the place.
I know.
I'm just trying to get back into the swing of things.
I understand completely.
Yeah.
So, like I said, you're the owner and operator of Cryptid Comforts.
For those who may not know while listening to this, what is Cryptid Comforts?
Just so they have an idea.
Well, it is a business that I started a few years back that is mostly cryptid-themed.
I have a little bit of horror too, but mostly cryptid-themed items.
I specialize in handcrafted cryptozoology and extraterrestrial monster-themed stuffies
that I make.
So yeah, that's my specialty, but I also have an assortment of other nonsense.
Cat toys, tumbler, hats, lanyards, pins, buttons, whatever.
You name it, I probably have.
I was going over the Etsy store today, and I didn't notice this the first time I looked,
but I just saw that you have serial killer catnip toys.
I do, yeah.
I saw those and I was like, I love this so much.
Yeah, because it's funny to watch a cat beat up on a serial killer.
So I guess what got you started on making cryptid plushies?
Did it start with plushies or did you start with doing stickers and then move on from
there or have you always been a seamstress type?
Well, I'm not a seamstress type by any means, but it did start with regular plushies, like
regular animals.
Actually, it started with sock animals.
Okay.
Like sock monkey type kind of things?
Yeah.
So it started off with a sock monkey and went from there into other sock animals and then
eventually some fabric animals and then eventually into cryptids and then the cryptids took over
and now that's pretty much it.
Yeah.
Have cryptids always played a big part in your life?
Has it always been like, or is it just something you fell into?
I fell into it completely accidentally.
It was when I was teaching in Portland, I came up with that class for summer discovery
called Unicorns, Dragons and Bigfoots.
Oh my.
So from there, I started learning about cryptids and I often say that Bigfoot is the gateway
drug to other cryptids.
It is kind of a rabbit hole that you just kind of get sucked into the more you find
out about them.
Yeah, right.
And the more I learned, the more I got into it.
And then I did some Bigfoot festivals.
I was hooked at that point and I was doing both things for a long time, regular animals
and then I put in some cryptids.
I mean, started with Bigfoot, then I threw in some Mothman, some Loch Ness Monster.
The classics.
Yeah, aliens, slowly kind of leading to doing the what, the re-film that I do now.
Yeah, you got a big chunk of the cryptozoology in your little store there.
Well then my Etsy store only has a teeny tiny bit of what I've got.
I mean, if you go through my Instagram feed over the last couple of years, you'll see
like there are some that I've just done one-offs of that I haven't made a bunch of, others
that I make thousands of a year.
Mothman particularly.
I was going to say, I feel like that's probably the biggest one, right?
Well yeah, because of the Mothman festival, like I sold through so many Mothman plushies
at last year's festival.
I sold out by like 11 a.m. on Saturday.
So trying to make a lot more of them for this year, but I don't know how I'm going to fit
them all in my car, but we'll figure it out.
You have to get one of those like Build-A-Bear stations at like the festivals so that way
they can just get the loose Mothman and they can just stuff it themselves.
Yeah, exactly.
I don't know if that's like a...
How I travel is, so I make all the skins first and then I travel with them and then I stuff
them when I get to the other side of the country.
So I'm only like stuffing so many per event.
That's how I do most of it because I stay with my family when I'm on my tour in Tennessee.
So I have a studio set up at my parents' house and this year I'm going to stay at my sister's
house for a while.
She's going to set up a studio there for me.
So yeah, I'm lucky to have such a wonderful supportive family who lets me just destroy
their house while I'm in town.
I'm sure just stuffing everywhere.
It's like living with a dog, I would assume.
Something like just tearing open everything.
Yeah, yeah, that's dang.
I'm exactly like a dog.
That's not what I meant.
Yeah, I probably could have worded that a little better.
Okay, I thought it was funny.
It's on me.
I'll take the heat for this one.
But speaking of Mothman being, like you said, your biggest seller so far, I guess we can
dive right into the Scouts Kickstarter.
For those of you who don't know, Scouts is a upcoming off-Broadway musical based off
cryptids, Mothman, gender identity, just a whole bunch of stuff.
Did you offer to be part of the Kickstarter?
They asked me and I was so excited that they asked me.
I've been following them since they kind of started.
I'm very intrigued and I love what they're doing.
And I think it's really cool to do a musical that not only is about gender equality, but
also Mothman.
And I'm like, yes, please.
I'm curious to see how they're going to meld the two stories into one.
I am too, but I love it.
And it seems like Mothman has become kind of iconic in the LGBTQ plus community, which
is interesting.
And I love that.
That is good.
I mean, at one point I think, what was it, the Babadook or the Baba Yaga?
One of those was like, they use that too.
Yeah.
I love that.
I mean, I love it too.
I mean, obviously I am someone who supports equality and human rights.
So the chance to actually do something that involves that is awesome for me.
I love what they're doing and I think it's just fantastic.
And I mean, what a great idea for a musical.
So it sounds like a lot of fun and when they asked me to be involved in their Kickstarter,
I was all in.
And so right now the Kickstarter is at almost 50%.
So let's put it out there.
That it would be really cool if you want to go support the Kickstarter and get a Mothman
plushie while you're at it.
You can, or they have lots of other good swag too.
Some stickers and patches and t-shirts and tickets to the show.
VIP passes if you're in the area.
You can be, also I think like the highest tier, you can get like everything plus like
a credit for being like in the, whatever it's called.
Yeah you can get the program.
Is it called Playbill?
I don't know what it's called.
Yeah, Playbill.
That's the word.
Yeah.
Not program, Playbill.
Yes, that sounds right.
Yeah.
It's been a long time since I did theater.
But anyone who's listening, if you're more curious to find out about Scouts, if you go
to the link in my Instagram, it's at Cryptid Cocktail.
There is a link to the Scouts Kickstarter in there.
So.
Great.
Thank you.
Yeah.
So definitely check it out.
Yeah, that's awesome.
I couldn't have, like I would be worried taking on a project like that if everyone who donates
donated at that level.
You're like, I'd have to make a billion fucking Mothmans on top of the Mothmans you already
have to make.
I'm on it.
Like they originally were going to set the Mothman plushie at a higher rate.
And I was like, honestly, it's not that hard for me to make them.
Let's just do it at a lower rate so I can bust them out for you.
Let's do it up.
I'm sure at this point you can make a Mothman in your sleep.
All right.
I totally can.
I made 25 of them this morning.
Jesus Christ.
Just the skins.
I haven't stopped them.
But yeah, those ones I can make pretty fast.
So I embroider them all ahead of time, then stack them and then do the wings.
All in a stack and then pin them together.
Stitch, stitch, stitch.
Done.
It's like a one man assembly line kind of thing.
It is.
Yes, I have.
But my studio is such a wreck right now.
It's terrible.
We are moving in a couple of weeks, so I will have a bigger space very soon, which will
be so nice for me because I'm definitely too big for an 11 foot room.
When I first started podcasting, me and my wife lived in a one bedroom apartment, so
I'd have to use the bedroom as a studio.
So I'd have to set up everything, break it down, put it away.
So every time we'd have to do an episode.
But thankfully we moved into an apartment with more than one room.
So I know the struggles of having just like a smaller and smaller space.
Right.
Yeah.
No, but that's awesome.
I'm stoked for you.
I'm stoked for the people in Scouts.
Their Kickstarter seems to be doing pretty well so far.
Oh yeah.
The link can also be found on my Instagram page at cryptid underscore comfort.
I probably should be promoting your Instagram more than promoting my Instagram.
The more places that it's easy to find, the better.
And of course it'll be on the Scouts Instagram, which is I believe at the Mothman is Real.
It's at the Mothman is Real.
I honestly didn't even think to say go to theirs instead, but yeah, go to their Instagram
instead.
Go to all of them.
Yeah.
Just whatever you want to do.
So yeah, but everyone's Instagram.
Yeah.
Just really drive up that traffic.
Yeah.
So we covered what you do, what you're doing.
Why don't we cover the future, which is Squonkapalooza coming up in August.
It is so exciting.
Okay.
So for those not familiar with Squonk, let me give a little background on Squonk.
He is the saddest creature in the whole wide world.
He is.
But the most relatable, I feel like, the most relatable cryptid, I feel like.
I will say when people ask at events and I tell them the story of the Squonk, they're
like, yeah, I feel that.
I really...
There's a little Squonk in all of us.
There is.
For anyone who has ever felt self-conscious in any way, you too are a Squonk.
The Squonk, it's part of lumberjack folklore, so it's not technically a cryptid.
It's a folklore creature, but there's so much crossover in those these days that it's fine.
So they're all kind of cryptids if you're not looking...
Some people get real technical about what a cryptid is though, so I like to verify no
Squonks are not actually cryptids.
They're folklore critters.
I've had to do that before.
I did that before the Wendigo episode we did.
I was like, the Wendigo is not a cryptid.
It is a Native American spirit.
Sometimes you have to clear the air so people truly understand the difference between.
Right.
And also, I mean, the furious cryptid zoologists out there, I don't want them to be offended
by the nonsense I say.
But anyone who knows me knows that I'm not a serious cryptid zoologist.
I'm just a good all who likes weird stuff.
But yeah, I enjoy this field and I enjoy all aspects of the cryptids, the folklore.
It's also fascinating to me.
Getting back to the Squonk.
I get off track.
Oh, back to the Squonk.
The running theme on the show is to get off track, so that's fine.
I'm so good at that.
So the Squonk was first featured in the book, Fearsome Creatures of the Lumberwoods, that
came out in 1910.
It's said to live in the northern Hemlock forest in Pennsylvania.
And the story is that this little creature, it cries all the time because it's so ugly.
It has the worst self-esteem of any creeper in the world.
It doesn't even want to see its own reflection and it's puddled of tears.
If it looks down, it gets very, very upset.
And you can't capture a Squonk because if you try to, it would cry so much it would
dissolve itself.
Such a good story.
I love it so much.
Very literally the most pathetic creature in the whole wide world and I love it so much.
His skin's too loose.
He thinks he's ugly.
Yeah.
I've been there.
Me too.
I started making the Squonk plushies back in 2021.
First premiered them at the CryptidCon that year and started spreading the word of the
Squonk to those who didn't know.
And like you said, it's the most relatable cryptid.
So people found it very endearing and it became kind of a popular thing for me.
And as I was making them, I came up with this weird little loose idea of a children's book.
I was going to bring up you wrote a children's book and it's adorable as all hell.
The idea behind the children's book started off as a book about body positivity for children.
And it ended up being a little different than that.
That does have some of that in it, but it's more of a book about friendship and kindness
now.
And it's more of an anti-bullying kind of situation.
So yeah, I wrote the book, me and my friend Brandy, who is a professional songwriter.
So she has great writing skills and I have weird cryptid knowledge.
So together we made a great team and I did all the illustrating myself after debating
whether to hire an illustrator.
I decided I can draw and I should probably illustrate my own book because I couldn't
afford an illustrator.
That's really what it came down to.
I couldn't afford to think of someone else to do it.
So I was like, I'll figure it out.
This is probably around my life.
It's like, I'll figure it out and see how it goes.
And so I learned to draw on the iPad one day and luckily my friend, Elaine, loaned me her
iPad, taught me a few things and gave me the iPad for an unlimited amount of time.
Just said, here you go, have fun.
So nice when people have just extra iPads they can lend me theirs.
It'd be nice to have that kind of disposable income to just be like, oh yeah, my iPad,
you can just take that for however long you need.
She's so nice and so generous and so helpful and I miss her.
She was a friend of mine in Washington and she was my boss and also just a really great
artist and she was super cool and understanding that the art took priority over the job.
I worked at a coffee shop that she owned, but because she was an artist, she understood
that I was going to be gone for months out of the year on tour and things like that.
But then pandemic hit and I was there full time.
And finally it was time for me to go.
She totally understood and was great about it.
So to have that kind of support and workplace is rare and I was very, very lucky for that.
But yeah, so she helped me learn how to draw on the iPad so I could illustrate the book.
And then that book was a labor of love.
It is the hardest I've ever worked on anything in my life.
I am so proud of it.
And yeah, so everyone go buy my book.
Check it out.
It's awesome.
If I do say so myself, it's all that kindness, compassion and friendship.
Except for those two squirrels.
I remember there was two squirrels that were just an asshole to the squawk and I wanted
to fight those squirrels.
Right?
Exactly.
And then the dog man, Kate, I'm spoiling the book.
They're like, oh shit, it's the dog man.
We got to book it.
And I was like, yeah, you fucking better run.
Yeah.
So the point of making dog man the secondary character was because dog man is thought of
as so scary and a freakish, voracious creature.
But it comes down to it that he's not like that at all.
He's actually the sweetest guy.
He's the one who reaches out to the squawk, finds him, befriends him, tells him that he's
perfect and beautiful the way he is.
And you know.
It's like don't judge a book by its cover kind of.
Yeah.
That's kind of the point I was trying to drive home with that.
And also that everyone's feelings get hurt and the dog man, you know, even though he's
a big, strong dog man, his feelings get hurt by people thinking that he's me and that I'm
scary.
So he's just a good boy.
Right.
Exactly.
And so that's why I chose the dog man as my secondary character to kind of give that kind
of feeling of, you know, like everyone's feelings get hurt.
Be considerate about what you're saying to people.
Yeah.
So I wrote the book and then I, you know, just randomly.
I talked to all my friends who are, you know, into cryptic events and things.
We all, you know, have like our little chats on Instagram where we talk about different
events and stuff.
And a lot of them have, are hosting their own events.
And so I kept throwing it out there kind of loosely, like we should do squawk fast.
And you know, kept just kind of throwing it out as a joke.
And no one was fighting until one day I was chatting with Joe of CryptoTeology right before
the Hodak Heritage Festival last year.
Cause we were both going to that.
So we were kind of chatting beforehand on Instagram and I said something to him about
squawking, having a squawk fast.
And he immediately was like, yeah, let's do it.
I live in Pennsylvania.
It's like, oh, okay.
I'm honestly super shocked that there wasn't already a squawk fast, especially with like,
cause I feel like the rise in cryptic festivals has gone up over the years, like exponentially.
Like any, any state that has a cryptic or a folklore tale associated about them, no matter
how small or irrelevant it is, they'll make a festival out of it.
And you know, there's not here in Colorado, there's not, we don't have a fly rock bolter
fast.
We show that it, there's your next endeavor.
I did find out that they have Mike the Headless Chicken Festival though, which unfortunately
I'm not going to be around for that.
Cause that was a fun one.
That is the most like deep dive cryptic folklore story that anyone can.
Yeah.
When I found out they had a festival about that, I was like very intrigued.
I feel like that festival would just be like a regular old state fair.
And it'd be like one of those things where like, you have to like get in a ring and
try and catch a chicken.
And then, you know what I mean?
I feel like it'd be like, it's just like a state fair.
Cause like, I know I grew up in New Hampshire.
So when we have state fairs, we do like the, like you have to get in a pen with a pig.
You catch the pig and I think, and I think you win the pig.
I think that, I don't know.
Well, it's New Hampshire, a lot of farm people up there, but I think that's, I honestly think
that's what it is.
I don't know, but I just assume that the Headless Chicken Fest would be something like that.
I could be way off base.
I have no idea.
But anyway, sorry.
So you, so Cryptid Comforts teamed up with CryptoTeology to start planning and figuring
out Squonkapalooza.
Yes.
Originally, we were calling it Squonkfest.
And then after a while, we changed the name.
Joe came up with Squonkapalooza and I immediately was like, yeah, that sounds great.
The reason we ended up changing it from Squonkfest is kind of hilarious.
I was filling out paperwork for insurance and if it's listed as a festival rather than
like an arts fair, insurance costs three times as much.
I was like, well, okay.
So we just won't call it a festival.
And so we came up with the name Squonkapalooza, which we ended up not even needing that insurance
anyway.
And I had to cancel the policy because we didn't get the whole big fiasco with that.
We're learning a lot about the hiccups in planning an event and things that can go wrong.
But we're also doing a lot of great things with this event, I think.
And I mean, we've got some good speakers lined up.
We're going to be showing a Mothman movie and having a Q&A with the creator.
We've got entertainment.
So we've got a, so far we've lined up like little, she's a clown of some sort, but she's
doing like bubble shows and then balloon animals and things like that.
So excited about that.
And then all around entertainer kind of.
Yeah.
And then my friend Brandy will be coming out and being the festival troubadour.
So she'll be walking around with her guitar and playing.
So that's super exciting and fun.
And it's also the first time that the co-author of Why So Sad Squawk is going to be at an
event.
So it's pretty exciting that she'll be there.
She'll also be able to sign books, which it won't just be me for a change.
And people will like that.
And she's just amazing and wonderful in every way.
But yeah, we've got tons of great vendors signed up.
It's just, it's going to be lots of great art and makers that are mostly cryptid based,
but a few that are.
But the majority of it is cryptid related, folklore creature related.
I'm hoping, yeah, hopefully we'll get some more entertainment and some more food trucks
lined up before the actual event.
Right now all we have is like, you know, sweets and no real food.
We're having trouble.
That's all you need.
No, no, I want a real food truck.
I mean, luckily there are restaurants within walking distance, like around the vicinity.
But I really want a food truck that has actual food out there.
Every good fair has like fair fries and fair, fair fries hit different than like regular
fries.
I did not expect that part to be the challenge.
I assumed food vendors are just a thing everywhere.
I mean, I would, I would assume that there's like an app you can go to that's like hire
my food truck.
Like there has to be a way to find out.
It's incredibly hard apparently to get a food truck to come to your event if you're in Johnstown,
Pennsylvania.
It is, it is a bit out of the way.
I live in Philly right now.
So I, and I think, I think it's like 70.
11 hours from me, which is basically the same amount of distance from me to Pittsburgh.
I always forget how close to Pittsburgh.
I always forget how big Pennsylvania is until I have to go somewhere.
You know, it is, I have not been long state since I was a small child.
I don't know Pennsylvania.
It's long.
It's a long state.
It's not tall, but it's, it's long.
Well, I remember driving through there when I was little on one of our trips, cause we
had lived in upstate New York and then moved to Tennessee.
So it was the drive through at one point with last time I was there.
We stopped at Hershey.
I never been, I don't like chocolate.
I'm not a chocolate guy.
Don't look at me like that.
Come on.
I get that look every time I say that.
And I just don't, I don't know.
I'm not a sweets guy.
I'm a, I'm a salty savory guy.
Is that what you mean?
Everyone else their thing.
So, and apparently whenever I tell anyone that I'm, I'm the wrong, that's the wrong
thing.
No, you're entitled to your opinion.
That's ridiculous as it may be.
But you said that you guys have been finding out the hardships that come with setting up
a festival, like the downs and the ups.
Has it been mostly ups though?
Like have you found, have you found that it's, it's been easy, not easier, but like, have
you hit a lot of roadblocks setting up this festival or has it, has it been kind of just
like a?
Our first roadblock, like we had a location picked out and it seemed like it was going
to be a go on that.
They had us get the insurance for it and everything.
And then it just didn't happen.
So then we had to find another location.
But the second location turned out to be perfect.
It's right downtown.
It's out at Central Park in downtown Johnstown.
And the city of Johnstown has our back and is letting us use the space for free, which
is amazing and helping us along the way with the, you know, some things.
So that challenge got immediately resolved.
I mean, a couple months, you know, stress, but it got resolved.
I feel like that's immediate enough though.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
And once we had the location locked down, like other things started falling into place,
like we opened up the vendor apps and then our vendors filled up in a matter of like
three weeks.
We had all the vendor space this fall and went on a wait list.
And like, so that's amazing.
With so many great vendors too.
I'm so happy about that.
We've got several great sponsors, people helping us out, like Holly, who art, she did our website
for us.
She's amazing.
We've got, you know, just such a cool crew of people helping.
So a lot of things have fallen into place perfectly and are exactly how we wanted it.
Other things are taking some more time, but we're getting it all sorted.
We did have like our first entertainer that we hired was like a juggler act and he had
to cancel on us.
So it was like the day after I announced that he was going to be there, he ended up canceling.
Come on, dude.
But so.
I feel like jugglers are a dime a dozen.
You can find...
You would think.
I would think.
Is that not the case?
No.
And it's also like a lot of them are very expensive.
Then I understand, like it's a rare or interesting talent, but to, for a small festival where
we're not trying to make any money off of it, we just can't afford like some of these
great acts as much as I would love to.
So we're having to, yeah.
I did have someone recently that I was chatting with who does like fire stuff and I was like,
well, like is that safe for like roaming, you know, entertainment?
I'm like, is that a safe thing to do?
And he's like, well, you'd have to have particular barriers and permits and things.
So I was like, oh yeah, I don't want any of that.
So no fire.
But then he was like, well, I can do other stuff.
So I'm still waiting on him to get back to me.
Maybe he can come in and do some juggling and still walking and things like that.
So yeah, we're still several months out.
Things will fall into place.
I feel confident.
And I mean...
You got to secrete it to the universe, like that book, The Secret.
I feel like secreting it to the universe is a gross way to put it.
I don't know how else you say your secretinging.
Secretinging.
I don't know.
Whatever.
All right.
I don't know.
But it sounds like it's going to be a good time.
Yeah, we're going to have games and make and take craft tables, tons of things for the
kids to do.
And speakers are going to be at the state theater.
The movie is going to be showing.
Plus we're going to be doing a story time for children with different cryptic books
with a few different readers.
We've got a lot going on all day and around the town.
They're doing haunted history tours, the night before, which will be cool.
And then the day after, there's an art walk in the park.
So there's stuff going on all weekend, even though our event is only a one day event.
There'll be stuff all weekend.
And so we're kind of co-promoting things with other things going on in town.
So it'll be a really fun weekend, I think.
I'm really excited for everyone to come out and hopefully, you know, it'll be a wild,
crazy fun time.
We're encouraging people to come dressed up and just be silly.
Of course, the Squawk will be running around, which is me in a squawk mascot suit.
Oh, that sounds fun.
I'm adorable.
It's so great.
You may have seen the pictures of the Squawk.
And then there's a Hodag one too.
Was that?
Yes, the Squawk and the Hodag are good friends.
But yes, Ben at the Hodag store definitely inspired me a lot to get my Squawk mascot
suit by seeing how much fun it was having the Hodag mascot suit.
Yeah, he's just so great at promoting and just having fun.
And I'm like, that's what I want to do.
So it's really fun when the two of us get together in our mascot suits, like at Cryptid
Bash last year.
And then we went to Grafton afterwards to visit the Grafton Monster.
We did a silly little photo shoot there and just we had fun.
The Hodag is like the gritty of cryptid mascots, I feel like.
He does not care.
He does whatever he wants.
It's amazing.
But at least I just wanted to say thank you.
I know I ended up sponsoring SquawkaPalooza after the enrollment, I feel like.
OK, we're still accepting sponsors.
If people want to give us money, we're still taking it.
No, that's the mentality you should have.
But I just want to say thank you.
I know I probably won't be able to make it, which sucks, but I'm glad that I could be
a part of it and support it in any way that I could.
I'm glad you can, too.
Yeah, but I just found out that we might not be moving in August, so I might be able to
make it.
Oh, really?
Oh, well, let me know.
Figuring it out.
Yeah, well, let me know.
Yeah, of course.
Well, Lisa, we talked about Cryptid Comforts, we talked about Scouts, SquawkaPalooza.
I think it's time for me to tell you a story now.
OK, great.
All right, so are you familiar with any sort of Russian UFO alien encounters?
I don't think so.
OK, so today I'm going to tell you the story of the Lake Baikal, I think that's how you
pronounce it, Lake Baikal humanoids.
Are you familiar?
I'm not familiar.
OK, I thought this, so I did this because it's like a pretty quick story.
It's like a one-off source story.
In doing research, I didn't realize that it ends in kind of a real bummer, so sorry in
advance, but we'll get through it.
OK.
Are you an alien's person or are you more cryptids?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah?
I mean, me and my sister once decided that all cryptids are aliens, which there's a lot
of people who will fight me for saying that.
I don't know about that.
I definitely believe in aliens.
All right, so let's start with a little backstory.
Lake Baikal is located near the Mongolian border in southeastern Siberia and is considered
the deepest and oldest lake on the planet Earth, with scientists stating that it formed
more than 25 million years ago and it contains a quarter of Earth's freshwater, depths of
over 5000 feet, and is home to a number of plant and animal species that exist only in
this lake.
So it's like a pretty significant lake as far as like planet Earth is concerned.
Yeah.
Now, this region, this region of Russia is no stranger to UFO activity.
Locals claim that they frequently see like strange lights, cigar shaped UFOs, and even
some claiming that there is a subaquatic extraterrestrial base hidden at the bottom of Lake Baikal.
I really hope I'm pronouncing that right.
I'm pretty sure I am.
It's fine.
Someone will tell you if you're not.
Yeah, I'll get some angry comments.
But yeah, but that brings us to the incident we're about to talk to today.
So this is the story of the Russian military's encounter with what people call the Lake Baikal
swimmers.
So in 1982, Soviet military divers were running a routine training exercise in the lake.
While on one of these dives at a depth of about 164 feet, one of the Navy men, I don't
know if they're called the Navy men, but one of the Navy men noticed strange humanoid shapes
swimming nearby.
Now obviously there shouldn't be anyone in the lake because it is a military exercise.
And the Soviet military, and especially the 80s during the Cold War, they're pretty good
at keeping riff raff out.
You know what I mean?
So the diver who first noticed the weird shapes got the attention of the other divers.
Basically what happened is they were watching the shapes and then several humanoid creatures
swim up to them and they were reported to be 10 feet tall, wearing tight fitting metallic
silver suits and a clear domed helmet that covered their entire head.
So at this depth, I feel they were shocked because you should have like modern equipment
to like keep you like pressure out.
You know what I mean?
Like, yeah.
So they were pretty freaked out.
The encounter only lasted just like moments.
And then the creatures kind of like scurried off back to whatever they were doing.
Now obviously they were out of sorts.
So the divers rose to the surface and then immediately were debriefed by their commanding
officer.
And after learning what had happened, and since I'm assuming he wasn't the one who would
have to go back into the water, he ordered seven divers back in to try and capture one,
if not all, of the aquatic humanoid fish alien people.
Which I guess would that be like, all right, so they're aliens and they're trying to capture
one.
Is that considered an alien abduction?
Yes.
I had to throw that in there.
I thought that was a good, I had to.
No, I like it.
All right.
I needed validation for that joke.
It was pretty good.
Yeah, I think so.
As the seven divers descended down into the lake and battling ever dropping water temperatures,
I forgot I wrote this, the Arctic alien aquanauts finally emerged.
And at this moment, one of the divers attempted to capture one of the creatures, pretty much
Looney Tunes style.
He just had like a big net and just like tried to throw it at him.
Needless to say, they were not very excited about the idea of being captured.
So these aliens fought back and they did this by shooting high intensity sonar waves at
the divers, pretty much rendering every single one of the members of the dive team unconscious
and rapidly like shooting them to the surface.
Now I'm not sure if you or the listeners are aware of what happens to the human body when
you're down at very deep depths and then you just ascend at a very high rate.
You get the battens.
Yeah.
So you get decompression sickness, which is known as the bends.
So for anyone listening who doesn't know what the bends is, it's basically gas bubbles
form inside your body tissue during or like right after a sudden decompression ascent.
You know, like being shot by alien shock waves that knock you to the surface.
These bubbles can form or migrate to any part of the body and cause symptoms ranging from
like just like joint pain to like rashes all the way to paralysis and death.
Now as for our submerged Siberian alien hunting squad, which is I shouldn't have wrote that.
That was too much to say.
Three of them are very seriously injured, but did not become affected by the bends.
I got to clear my throat.
I sound like a frog.
Yeah.
So three, three of them were seriously injured, but did not become affected by the bends.
The other four, however, would require immediate transfer to a recompression chamber, which
is basically you go into like a big tube and they just kind of pump oxygen into you in
the room.
So good news.
There was one in the region.
Bad news.
It was only designed to fit two people.
So out of desperation, all four men entered the chamber to save their lives in an attempt
that ultimately ended in tragedy.
Three of the four men losing their lives due to the encounter and those that did survive
were left with life altering disabilities.
And I'm sure like terrible PTSD from obviously being attacked by aliens in the shot to the
surface.
Now following this event, the KGB halted any further attempts at capturing like USOs or
aliens.
And for decades, this encounter was kept hidden by officials at the highest level.
Now I don't know how this story got out.
I've seen it claim that this story was came from like declassified Russian government
documents, which I couldn't find any real evidence or sources for aside from a Fox News
article reporting on a Russia Today story, which is if you don't know Russia Today is
pretty much a state run like Russian news outlet that say that it happened.
And all other sources of this story are pretty much copy and paste of the same information.
I think Nick Pope also did a YouTube video about it.
If you don't know Nick Pope, he's like a UFO researcher like Randall from Forrest, that
kind of stuff.
But I don't know, the Russian government isn't like the most trustworthy when it comes to
pretty much anything.
I didn't bring but yeah, this story is true.
It's like one of the most harrowing alien counters that I have ever heard.
But that is the story of the Lake Baikal swimmers.
It's pretty messed up.
It's not ideal.
No, it is interesting that they're referring to it as aliens rather than mermaids.
I don't know.
Yeah, I don't know.
I think I said the area has been like host to a lot of weird strange activity.
Scientists from the space station took pictures of the lake at one point and there was these
big circular like impressions or like missing parts of like the ice on top of the lakes,
which people say are from UFOs going in and out.
So the idea of an alien base at the bottom of it isn't so far fetched to me.
But like I said, I have no idea.
But also those circular patterns on water when it gets frozen could be from anything.
I'm not trying to like disprove what happened.
Like I said, I don't even know if it's true, but it's pretty weird to say the least.
I didn't mean to bum everyone out.
This was a...
And then everyone's dad.
Yeah, when I started researching, I was like, oh, this is a cool story.
And then I got halfway through and I was like, God damn, this is a bummer.
They're not all happy.
And I think that's what also made me think of mermaids as the killer mermaids of Zimbabwe.
Yeah.
It seemed somewhat similar in the attack aspect.
Yeah, I never heard of anything underwater like hitting you with like a shockwave.
Yeah.
I don't know.
It didn't say like if they pulled out like a shockwave gun.
I don't know what a shockwave gun would look like.
I don't know how they did.
I don't know if it was like a scream and like a banshee scream or something like that.
I don't know.
But yeah, that's the story.
It's fucked up.
Sorry for bumming you all out.
Yeah.
So what do you think?
What do you think of this story?
Do you think it's like I said, it was from the KGB, from Russia.
I don't know.
Like I said, the only thing I could find about it is that they said it's from declassified
Russian documents.
But again, that came from Fox News, which came from RT, which both of those are not.
None of it's trustworthy.
Ideal.
Yeah.
I mean, and that's the thing about any of these stories.
Like I used to tell the kids in my class during my summer discovery classes when they'd say
Ms. Lisa, is that true?
I'd say, well, anything I teach you in this class may or may not be true.
And that's a good little, yeah, that's kind of what cryptozoology is at this point.
I mean, we can't prove it.
Otherwise it wouldn't be crypted.
So it may or may not be true.
And we have no way of knowing because we weren't there to witness it.
I don't think I'd want to be there to witness this though.
Oh, God no.
Definitely not.
First of all, I already don't like open water.
Like if I if I can't touch and or see the bottom of where I am, I won't go in.
There's no way.
Like I can't do it because any little piece of anything that touches my foot, I'll immediately
think sea monster and I will cry and I'll I'll just give up.
I'll just be like, take me.
It's it.
It's over.
Just sink myself to the bottom.
Like I can't do it.
I can't even really swim, but I actually really enjoy the water.
And like I love going out on a boat and floating and things like that.
But I I'll go on a boat.
But like I have like I have to know that that boat is like sturdy.
Like I need to know that it's not going to just like descend to the bottom as soon as
I step foot on it.
Like there's no way.
All right.
Well, Lisa, I had a blast talking to you.
I had such a good time.
Thanks for having me on.
And I know I rambled a lot and got off topic several times, but that's just that's me.
That's who I am.
That's again, just running theme for for any episode we do.
It's fine.
And we're only like 10 minutes past like a normal episode length is.
So well, there you go.
We're all good.
All right.
Thank you so much for listening.
Lisa, if you want to plug whatever you want to plug right now, websites, social media.
Yes.
Anything else?
Squonkapalooza.com Instagram at Squonkapalooza.
CrypticComforts.com Instagram Cryptid underscore Comforts.
That should have all my info.
It's also CryptoTeology.com at CryptoTeology for updates on everything Squonky.
And yeah, if you follow all three, you're definitely going to be in the know about anything
that happens.
Squonk related in the near future.
Well, definitely do all that, please.
Everyone listening.
And everyone go support the Scouts Kickstarter, please.
Do that.
And yeah, you can find links to that in all of our bios, I assume.
You can also just go to at the Mothman is real on Instagram and they'll have links to
all that stuff as well.
But also if you want to follow me on Instagram, it's at Cryptid Cocktail.
Also we just opened up, opened up.
We started a co-fi.
If you want to donate to the show, help us raise money so that we can sponsor other festivals
as well or even try and get to some of these festivals.
It's at it's a co-fi backslash Cryptid Cocktail party.
That'd be greatly appreciated.
But besides that, I don't think I have anything else to plug.
So I guess we'll we'll we'll end the show and then I'll play the inter music now.
Thank you.
All right.
Thank you.