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Hello everyone.
Welcome back to another episode of Cryptid Cocktail Party, a show where we have a few
drinks, share a few laughs, take a dive into the unknown.
I'm your host Dave and I am once again joined today by the energy boy himself, Colby Clark.
How you doing handsome?
I'm so full of energy right now, Dave.
I ate food and I processed it and I made it into energy.
Can you believe that?
Yeah, you ate, you turned carbs into energy, protein into energy.
Whatever they got.
Energy into energy.
You are just, what did you say earlier?
You are just a liquid ball of energy after any good meal.
Liquid energy.
As it should be.
Fucking get those gains, King.
How's it?
Yeah.
So how you been?
How's life?
What's going on?
Is this the last time I talked to you about a week ago?
I'm doing good.
Same old, same old.
Just chugging along, you know?
Yeah, well, you are a guitar player, so I wouldn't expect anything less.
Hey.
And the best one's coming, I don't even mean to.
How have you been?
I've been good.
I've been getting really, so I downloaded TikTok and I was going to use it just to like
look for weird cryptids and alien shit, but I got really big into, now hear me out.
Okay.
There's a TikTok where it's just a dude who goes around with a metal rake and finds clogged
drains like on the side of the road and he unclogs them and then all the water just goes
into the drain.
That's the most satisfying.
I seriously was scrolling for like an hour and a half earlier today just watching those
videos.
That's what I was going to say.
I bet it's, you would think initially like, oh, that's a really nice thing he's doing.
That gives me a lot of satisfaction.
He's cleaning those.
But then really what everybody's getting from it is that it's just, it's so satisfying.
Dude, it's.
All the yuck.
I'm like almost embarrassed to like, but dude, it's a game changer.
If you ever just need to like vibe for a minute, just watch those.
The world melts away.
Oh, I love a good clean drain.
You know, I just threw some, just threw some drain in my bathroom thing earlier and I tell
you, I like it.
Get the foam, the foam, the foaming one.
It did not.
It didn't foam.
So I don't think so.
I don't know.
I don't know if I think it's.
All right, Colby.
Well, introductions out of the way, you said your piece about how you're doing.
Sure.
How do you feel about the state of Kentucky?
Fried chicken and just like that part of the country.
I didn't.
I didn't ask what comes from Kentucky.
Ask how you feel about it.
Unless, unless fried chicken is an emotion that you feel on a daily basis.
You are the energy boy.
Same answer.
OK.
That's, that's really the only feeling I'm, I'm, you know, I'm neither here nor there
when it comes to Kentucky.
Never been.
OK.
Yeah.
I know it's a state in the United States of America.
Oh, that's right.
Oh, they mash.
They do the monster mash.
I was waiting for it.
I knew it was coming.
Oh, all right, Colby.
Well, today I'm going to tell you a story.
It's probably one of the most harrowing and crazy UFO slash alien encounters that I've
probably ever heard of.
And it's probably one of the most important ones.
It's one of the most well documented ones.
I don't know if there's like a ranking system as far as like important alien slash UFO sightings,
but this definitely ranks up there.
This is called the Kelly Hopkinsville encounter with the Hopkinsville goblins.
Oh, goblins.
Goblins.
I like that.
All right.
I like that goblins did something important in history.
Really makes a staple for them.
I feel like they've they're always just kind of, yeah, whatever goblins.
They get a bad rap.
I'm worried about them.
Yeah.
I mean, this does not paint them in a in a good light either, but at least they made the
news, you know.
Sure.
Hey, I feel like a lot of a lot of goblin news has swept down to the rug thanks to the
liberal media.
But no goblin news is good news.
I mean, that's probably true.
But anyways.
Yeah.
So the story goes that on the evening of August 21st and August 21st, 1955, in the small farming
village of Kelly, Kentucky, just a short drive north of Hopkinsville, Elmer Sutton, his
wife, Vera, their friends, Billy Ray and June Taylor were visiting his mother.
Those names are definitely from Kentucky.
They were visiting Elmer's mother, Glennie Langford and his half siblings, Lonnie Charlton
and Mary Langford at his mother's very small farmhouse.
His brother, J.C.
Sutton was also there with his his wife, Elena, and her brother, Opie Baker.
So you really made sure to get all their names this time.
This is this involved.
I really appreciate that.
This involves 11 people in this very small farmhouse, just like crammed in there.
Yeah.
Now, as far as I could gather in researching this, which I did very minimal of mostly because
everything I read and listened to and watched, it was all the same thing.
So I kind of just get all my information from one or two sources.
But as far as I gather, there was no running water, only a couple of electric light bulbs
and no bathroom, just like an outhouse out on the edge of the yard.
Now I'm not I'm not giving you these details to be like, look how poor these fucking hillbillies
are.
I just want to illustrate how rural and out there that this farmhouse is like.
OK.
How far away from help they might be.
Exactly.
If if there were a goblin scare, if there were if there was a goblin attack, you need to
know what you like the terrain you're going to be working with.
But anyways, back to the story.
So around sunset, like seven o'clock or so, after the family's just finished eating the
dinner prepared by Mrs. Lankford, everyone started to settle in to play a game of cards.
Now Billy Ray, feeling a bit parched, decided to step out real quick to go to the well.
Again, there's no running water.
So he had to go up the bucket and fetch some drinking water.
As he gets to the well, he notices in the sky, he saw a metallic object streaking through
the sky that he described as looking like an egg shaped metal tub with an exhaust trailing
behind it that he said contained all the colors of the rainbow.
Is that a vacuum?
Yeah.
For a second there, I thought aliens were interrupting our signal for a minute.
And I was like, God damn, this is not perfect timing.
I don't know what is.
It's a little tiny little tiny carpet goblins.
Get them now.
But yeah, so you saw what he said was an egg shaped metal tub with an exhaust trailing
behind it that he said contained all the colors of the rainbow.
He then watched it slow down and then descend down below some trees a bit aways from the
farm.
Now coming back into the house, Billy Ray told the group what he had just witnessed
and was immediately met with laughter and ridicule.
And they were writing it off as him just having witnessed a shooting star or something like
that, which I mean, I get that sounds pretty insane to say to someone.
But also what he described kind of does sound like that minus the stopping midair and landing
behind a bunch of trees.
I mean, I was going to say was there's something in that well, you know, but if they're all
drinking the well water, do you mean like something like a brain parasite that made
them all kind of slowly go insane or psychedelics, but similar?
Yeah.
OK.
Yours is probably more plot.
I feel like they both could happen, but that's not what happened.
Every color.
Who describes something as having every color other than somebody who is in in that area?
You know, I don't think they mean like it was every color all at once.
It was like it was like a rainbow.
Point to me on on the egg shaped tub chartreuse, my friend.
Every color of the rainbow, Colby, not like.
Not every color.
I got a different rainbow than you.
Fair enough.
But even his wife, June, when asking for reassurance with her that she believed him, she couldn't
hold it together and just laugh straight in his face, which is not going to lie.
I hope my wife would respond the same exact way.
That's the proper response.
It really is.
Yeah.
Now, about a half hour to an hour later, around 8 p.m., the family dog, whose name I don't
know, but I'm assuming it's the bestest of boys, began to bark aggressively and violently.
Now wondering what all the hullabaloo was about Billy and Lucky.
I forgot.
Does it got him lucky?
How did he get that name?
No, oh, Lucky got his name because he worked for a traveling carnival.
And while he was working with the traveling, he's this is this is Emmett or Emirate, whatever
his name is, that his nickname is Lucky.
He got tattooed on his knuckles.
The word lucky like on his fingers and no, all of them, including the thumb.
Don't.
OK, I was going to say we are in Kentucky.
Spell things however you want.
Ain't no laws about spelling.
Yeah.
So he's they're all visiting his mother because he's on break from the traveling carnival.
But I should I forgot to mention that his nickname was Lucky.
But Billy and Lucky got up.
I did you a disservice.
I'm sorry that it's like as like a side story, like a B story.
He's making this up.
There's no way.
Like I was just going to say it was like a flip of a coin.
And then they were good.
Like, well, no, you call them lucky.
I guess he got his name because he worked for a traveling circus and got lucky tattooed
on his hands.
That's fantastic.
Yeah.
But so Billy and Lucky, sorry, Billy Ray and Lucky got up to investigate.
They head out the back door to check on the dog, which when they got out there, the dog
got really quiet, its tail tucked between its legs and it hit under the house and they
didn't see the dog again until the next day.
It was then that they looked out into the fields and saw an odd glow coming towards
them as it got closer.
They made out what looked like a small man.
Once it got even closer, they realized that what they were seeing was not a man at all,
but something not of this world.
Now, according to the witnesses and the Center for UFO Studies casebook on the encounter,
which I got a lot of this information from the creature they saw, they described as being
about three and a half feet tall with an oversized, almost perfectly spherical head, arms that
were too long.
They almost scraped the ground with massive hands that had talons on the ends of it.
It had big eyes that glowed yellow and the eyes were neither on the front of the head
or on the side.
It was like somewhere in the middle.
It kind of looks like a like a nightmare Funko pop, if you know.
Right, right.
No, I mean, that's that's Mike Wazowski for sure, until you said two eyes.
Oh, just before that, that was fucking Mike Wazowski.
My friend had a body just didn't have a neck.
So it had it had like an almost perfectly round head just sitting on top of shoulders.
Nice.
I mean, evolution has finest, right?
What do I need a neck for?
What is it doing there?
Just mouth to stomach.
That's all I need the food to do.
We got to be able to like, I guess you could just turn your whole body the look like look
driving with.
Oh, yeah.
It sounds like a nightmare.
You kidding me?
I have to swivel my entire being just to take a left.
Yeah, no, that's not ideal.
No, but definitely not put it on the blinker then.
So the creature was also said to look as though its whole being was made of silver metal that
emitted light just like that of the quote radium dials on a watch.
Just to remind you again of the time period we're in back when they used to put nuclear
waste on watches to make them glow.
That's a thing.
You didn't know that?
No, no.
Oh, dude.
So a bunch of women back in like the 50s or 60s, they all got cancer and they all like
almost died.
And it turns out because they were dipping their paint brushes in radioactive material,
the paint on the watches, so the clock glue, but they would lick the they would lick the
paintbrush every time they before they did it, not realizing what was happening.
They all got cancer.
Yeah.
They're called the irradiated ladies.
Look it up.
Dang.
We should do an episode on that.
I don't know if that's it's not it's just pertinent to goblins.
But damn, it's wild.
Yeah, dude, the 50s and 60s were a wild time.
But lawless, lawless land.
So the creatures, the creature was approaching the two men with its hands raised and moving
with his hands raised above his head like someone else like like, I don't know if it
was like I come in peace or I don't know if it was trying to act do or maybe it was like
he saw taller animals and they did like what you do to bears.
Just make yourself big.
True.
Yeah.
They don't get many channels in space, but they do get in that geo.
Now, like any good story that I've ever told involving aliens, cryptids or the unknown,
the two men upon seeing this metallic Danny Devito esque type creature, they immediately
armed themselves.
Now lucky grabbing his 20 gauge shotgun and a 22 rifle for good old Billy.
They move slightly into the house for cover.
The two men waited for the goblin to get within 20 feet of the back door when they both opened
fired on it.
And upon being shot at, the goblin made the most grandest of exits by doing a bunch of
flips and shit and then just ran into the woods.
No.
Is a gymnast, too?
Dude, it just was.
Now the two men retreated back in the living room where the rest of the group was gathered
when another creature appeared in the living room window.
JC, now the one armed with the shotgun, along with Billy and his 22 fired through the window
at it and apparently hitting it where again it did another flip and then vanished.
So the men decided now was a good time to go outside and investigate.
They wanted to know if they actually hit the thing.
So Billy was the first out the door armed with his rifle.
And as he was about to step off the porch, the rest of the group inside watching noticed
a large hand come down from the overhang and with its clawed hands, grab at his hair.
Now Billy's wife grabbed him, pulls him back inside and Lucky runs out quick past him off
the porch, swings around, fires the shotgun up at the overhang and blasts that fucker
straight off the roof.
Now at this point, Billy notices another one up in the maple tree off to the right.
So Lucky and Billy fired up at it, knocking it back off the tree where it floated down
to the ground where they shot it again before it ran off into the woods.
At the same moment, another one comes out from around the corner of the house right
in front of Lucky.
It's uncertain if this was a new one or the same one that he had blown off the roof upon
going outside.
But other way, he raised his shotgun, fired at it point blank range.
Lucky said that the sound it made when he shot it was like shooting a metal bucket.
But just like the others, this little fucking creature did its little gymnastics routine
when shot and then just scurried away.
Unsure what to do now, considering that these little bastards seem unfazed by mortal munitions.
The two men retreated back into the house to like devise a plan.
It was then that someone decided to turn on the outside lights.
Why they waited until now?
I have no idea.
But once the outside lights were on, they noticed that the creatures would only approach
from the darkened parts of the yard because the entire yard wasn't illuminated.
I think it was just the front and the back.
So I don't know if this was like a tactic to stay hidden, like as they advanced towards
the house or because they had a version to light.
I don't really know.
But who knows?
Yeah.
So Dracula's little Mike, little Mike was outskis that feed on was outsky blood.
Yeah.
Little Danny DeVito Dracula's dude at first.
When you said he appeared from the window, like it like was like, oh, that sounds super
spooky.
Like, I just can't not picture a little green white Mike was out here now and it's ruining
the darkness of this.
So far as a wild story, though, right?
Yeah, absolutely wild.
Look, Lucky is is, you know, the guy that you need when shit's going down.
He's like, watch his box ran right out there, flipped around.
He's like hillbilly John Wick, dude.
He's fucking shooting left and right.
His instincts were on point like fucking shits in a tree. She's on the roof and he's fucking bum bum bum like
Okay, like he's a fucking badass dude. He's fucking Keanu crick
Don't matter crick he's by you Reeves
Now the timelines events after this are kind of spotty
Because it's like everyone in the house wasn't like keeping a fucking
Journal of when what events happened when they just know that these events happened
But what I could gather barely turn the lights on see I don't write some surprise they worked now
Right then and shoot them all up
Fucking dude, right? They were just blasted. Just this is the perfect Danny DeVito, and then I started blasting
Also in the middle of nowhere. I almost forgot that yeah, they're nowhere. It's farm. Yes
Yeah, there's no there's no streetlights. No, dude. There's all they have is like the moon
And I don't know if you've seen the moon lately
The bitch ain't that bright
Dim the dim light
Yeah, it could be better. We could do better
Yeah, it's 2023 guys. Can we get a brighter moon or what thanks Biden?
Another lost for the left
I
Just know it was him. There's no way it was in him. He dimmed the moon by 2% I know it. Let's go Brandon
Go Brandon all right
Now like I said the timeline of events of this are kind of spotty
But from what I gathered the next thing that happened is they heard a tapping noise on the roof
So the two men went out back and shot it off the roof where it floated to the back fence
Is he those these things don't fall they float I don't know if floating yeah, yeah, so so it floated down
Off of the off of the roof on and it floated to the back fence about 40 feet away where it perched for a bit before
They shot it again knocking it to the ground where it ran away on all fours
That was around 11 p.m.
when the Sutton slash Langford families decided
They got to make a break for it
So they all got out of the house hopped into two different cars and sped down to the Hopkinsville police station
Which is about I think it said like a half hour away, and they were speeding the entire way
So I'm assuming if they were doing the speed limit was probably a lot further away
Right right yep now the whole confrontation from when Billy saw the UFO to when they decided to get the fuck out of there
It lasted four hours the number of rounds fired that night is unknown
But according to one researcher he said that the neighbors who could hear the shots in the distance described it as sounding like a small war
There is also no telling how many of these things there were some reports put the number at 12 to 15 others say it was no more than four
That just kept coming at them from all directions
There were several times when they thought they drove them away for good only for them to advance on the house again all in all
This happened six different times. There's six different waves in that four hour span
Which should probably explain why they waited so long to leave the house to go for help because they didn't know if these fuckers
Was like waiting in the tree lines just like waiting true like true. I don't know if it's one or many
Yeah, all right. That's where we're at right now in this war. It could be you never I don't know in this more
Yeah, it's all it's all a nightmare
Absolutely, so once they arrived at the station
They were so visibly shaken and filled with like genuine terror that the police even after hearing a group of people got into a one-sided
Firefight with three foot tall metallic aliens had like no choice, but to like believe their story as genuine
So this is the city police the state police three deputy sheriffs from different jurisdictions
As well as military police from the nearby army fort fort Campbell were all dispatched to the farmhouse with the family following behind
Okay. Now once they're the authority authorities at a thorough investigation of the property
And the house with the family refusing to go back inside until they were certain that they were gone
And once the cops gave the all clear and after obviously cracking jokes at the family's expense
The Suttons and the family they all they all went inside to try and get some rest but
dot dot dot
That wouldn't last very long because the matriarch of the family mrs
Langford was laying in bed and in around 2 30 a.m
She noticed a faint glow coming from her bed bedroom window
She looks over and sees one of the creatures come up and put its hands on the window and just stare into the room
So so wait so have these creatures ever like
Was it reported that they attacked at all or they just kind of like they just want to watch well
here's the thing so I didn't put this in the story because
It's just like it was the whole thing, but so mrs. Langford the mom of everyone and like the grandmother of everyone
Mm-hmm. She was the only one who was like they're not they haven't attacked anyone
They've been coming here with their arms up like we should stop we should stop shooting at them like
Sure, just kind of just let them be like maybe they'll just
Investigate then move on because I don't on our five somebody put some logic was like well, you know
Why don't what if we thought about this a different way?
No
They never actually attacked the only time they that they anything was when one of them reached down off of the
Overhang at the front door to like in like grab Billy's hair, but I don't know if that was just like a
So you got yeah, because I picture him having I picture him having a mole. It was Billy Ray Cyrus
Right. He shook his little rat tail. He's like this is how we say hello right? You don't know you just have fun
He's like a cat, you know cats hide behind a door and then when you walk by a bats your leg
Right, just if aliens came down to earth and they saw like dogs playing they'd be like stop them. They're hurting each other
No, that's just how they play. Yeah, it's a message that that's how Mike
Mike
Frank
Trying to I'm trying to combine the names now. I got you like me like Mike Vito
So she says hello
She called out to the rest of the family to come out check out this intergalactic peeping Tom and of course lucky
Perks right the fuck up and is like I'm a shoot it and the mom just like
For fuck's sake don't shoot it. But like he's like, yeah, nah, dude
I'm a shoot it so he does and obviously doesn't do shit
Yeah, not much. Not much is known about the second wave of visits that day
But the creatures came and went throughout the night and early morning with the last being spotted just before sunrise
of that Monday August 22nd
the
subsequent investigation the morning after
Turns up nothing but the story makes national news
It's actually from this encounter that the term little green men is coined
So if you ever heard anyone in pop culture referring to little green men
It's because of this and it's because of a misquote in a newspaper
They said little gray men, but they misquoted them as little green men and then it kind of just took
Look off from there. All right
so obviously with this being a national news story of
Word got around town and obviously
The family was ridiculed and made fun of because it is rural, Kentucky in the 1950s
So about ten days after this the family just uproots and moves to escape the gossip
We were to cool from the town folks and they stay away for all for a few decades
After a while life just kind of goes back to normal and no one really thinks about it. This is until
2010 when the town of Kelly or sorry the village of Kelly
Demoted no, they were always a village they were hurting for money and it needs some of those
They're they just need some of that sweet sweet tourism money son
We're right
So a group of residents remember that time back in the 50s when a family was terrorized by aliens and then driven away from their
Home due to the town talking shit about them. So they decided to throw the first annual little green men festival
Nice nothing more American than profiting off the misery of your neighbors, but whatever
I think it's fucking disgusting and they should all be ashamed
But yeah, so
That's a story of the Kelly Hopkinsville incident in the Hopkinsville goblins
Dang. Yeah goblins, man
You know is
You don't often think about the goblins and and and they're and they're you know goblin hordes
But you know whenever I'm reminded of the goblins and
And what they do I just I just think they're a fun bunch and just nobody gets them, you know, right?
They're really misunderstood. They came out there with their hands up
Now again either to symbolize that they were coming in peace or they were afraid of you
I thought you were some sort of barons wanted to make themselves bigger
Right. He was saying dude. Do I have something on my belly? Can you look underneath my belly and see please?
Oh, sir. I just call you in passing. Oh, please. Oh, you're
shooting at me
I'm sorry to tell you you're not gonna get by my bulletproof skin, but you can keep going. I'm just oh
training for the Olympics now
Here we go
Sounds like a really sweet sweet creature, right? He's a good boy. I
Don't really know somehow this ties into the flatwoods monster in some way
And I don't know how or why and I didn't bother looking into it
But I always these two stories are always told kind of simultaneously
Okay. All right, not interested. No
I'm sorry. The flatwoods monster is what you refer to as the flat-footed creature. Oh
Yes, right
Well, that was a that was a mix-up on my part. How's it the best has
Very uneven feet. Oh
All right, uh, well Colby that's the episode. Thank you for joining. I hope you enjoyed the story. It got kind of crazy
Dude, that was a really good one. It got wild right and you as my seat
There's stuff that I left out because there was so much
Part two
No, there's no part two. This is this is pretty much it but there was like more just like
Them going to the police station what everyone to say in and but no one wants to hear that you can look into this on
Your own again. There's a there's a
the office of UFO
Research or whatever some shit that I got all this information from I'll put a link somewhere you can find it
I really just needed like a
transcript
Specifically of the conversations that were had with lucky because I mean there's a reason reason why his name's not logic
You know I'm saying like his name's lucky. He's shooting. I want to hear
Conversations and read them out loud. I
Can I can send it to you?
This so the this is a case book that the UFO research did it's
Something they went there and interviewed all these people and talked to them
So they do have like transcripts of conversations between lucky and the mom and all that stuff
So you I will send it to if you really want to read it
right I I
Feel like it's gonna be good. Can you can you maybe we can do an audio play?
Yes
Maybe we could do like a sketch. Yeah sketch of it
It would like stick figures of what lucky was trying to say and we'll draw it out for you. He's he's that I'm a shoot
I'm a shoot it
Scene it's like that mean creature
It's like that meme of
David Duchovny in the X-Files where it's like he's like fuck these aliens. I'm gonna keep looking though
But instead it's lucky being like fuck these aliens
I'm gonna keep shooting now
It's basically that yeah, I like it I like it
Alright everyone. Well, thank you so much for listening. I hope you enjoyed the story. This was really fun
I had a good time with this one
Colby, I know you're the guest last episode, but do you have anything you want to plug or say anything?
You got you got you got your sloppy steak fest coming up
Yeah, we know we're slapping it up
on the litchfield
No excited about that. I
Was talking to Ben about trying to get into flight and play some shows over there
they'll be fucking sick might be trying to put together a show to red alert and
Apparently the strand this time
and apparently the strand is still doing shows I
didn't even know the strand was yeah a destination anymore, but
Looked into all three and trying to put some shows together this this this somehow
Hell yeah, man
Well, if anyone wants to keep track of what Colby's going on with this band follow lanterns last light on Instagram Facebook the whole thing
Follow us on Instagram at cryptic cocktail follow us on Twitter at cryptic cocktail
Follow me on tik-tok at cryptic cocktail party having a lot of fun over there. Just making the dumbest fucking memes
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But it is right right right
Also, if you want to help support the show there's a link in the episode description
I hit that link and you can do that but with that
See you guys later. Bye
Okay, see ya