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Hello everybody! Welcome back to another episode of Cryptid Cocktail Party, a show
where we have a few drinks, share a few laughs, take a dive into the unknown. I'm
your host Dave and I'm joined once again by the beautifully bearded, glass-
glasses-faced Luke Farris. Call me four eyes bitch, I don't know dude.
They don't need to know that I am bespectacled. I was trying to do like an
alliteration and then I lost it as soon as it came out of my mouth. It was
immediately. I had no idea where you- I didn't even know you were trying to do
alliteration. That too- well clearly I lost it. What's going on bud? Same shit as
last time. Just got out of work kind of toasty. You're looking good. I know you
were a little late recording today because you had to attempt to beat your
high score at pinball. What game were you playing? That was on Medieval Madness.
Oh. Classic Williams game. Obviously. You're a fool if you don't know what- what is it?
Medieval Madness? What even- Medieval Madness is? Medieval Madness. Yeah. Honestly if you're
into pinball like that's like the Metallica. It was like have you ever
heard of Metallica? And like you're wearing like a metal band shirt. You get
to punch that man. Oh gotcha. Of course I fucking played Medieval Madness asshole
like that's like a basic bitch game. Yeah name four obstacles.
Joust, Peasant Revolt, The King of Pain, and Catapult. I did not think this. I was just trying to make a
riff off the gatekeeping thing but no all right I was- no I got it. I'm glad you're
doing good dude. I ate a bunch of Chinese food for lunch before we started
recording and now I'm like out of breath. I don't know if that's like like a
diabetes thing. Are you allergic to soy sauce? No I'm not like out of breath like I
can't like my throat's closing it's like I'm just winded because I ate so much
food. No I get that. Yeah. Yeah during the summer I have no motivation to eat so I
was called charcuterie summer and I always have a charcuterie board going
through. Cheese can take your breath away. I would like I will let you know. What I
mean like it takes your breath away in the same way that like I don't know
seeing a sunset takes your breath away. No it's different. I lie on my couch with
my shirt off just going for like a while. That's fair. All right well Luke I teased
you earlier about what our episode is gonna be. Now for those of you
listening today's episode is not a it's not a cryptid it's not a monster it's
not an alien it's not a ghost it's not interdimensional it is a theory. It's
ultranauts. No am I correct? No. No Luke today we're gonna delve into the world
of completely insane. It's a theory that people just decided hey centuries of
science be gone. I'm gonna believe in what I want to believe in. Do you know
what it is now? Flat Earth. No close we're gonna talk about Admiral Bird and the
Hollow Earth theory. Oh man. You're so close. All right you ready to dive into
this man? Oh 100%. Okay so much like Flat Earth the Hollow Earth theory isn't a new
concept. Ancient cultures and mythologies around the world have some sort of
variant of it in their belief system. The Greeks and the Romans had Hades. The
Christians have Hell. Tibetan Buddhists had a belief that there's an ancient
city located inside the earth that is called Shambhala. I don't know if I'm
pronouncing that right but I'm just gonna go phonetically with it because
Shambhala sounds like a vibe to be honest. If someone was like on vacationing
on Shambhala I'd be like dude fuck yeah buddy. Yeah that's like an Instagram
influencer's like bitches we in Shambhala look at this yacht. Yeah Abiza first and
then Shambhala for the last couple days. I made sure to order my white linens
when we go to Shambhala because it gets it's warm there it's breezy. So during
the Middle Ages both the Germans and the Russians had stories of portals that
led to the center of the earth. Even the Native Americans believed the earth was
hollow and was accessible through tunnels and caves across America whose
locations would depend on which tribes beliefs that were being
referenced at the time. So like I said it's nothing new and it's completely
understandable that ancient cultures would have believed the earth was hollow
because science hadn't been able to prove it otherwise or you know like
really exist. Much. Yeah so but knowing what we know now with a wealth of
knowledge at our fingertips and centuries of science and data to back it
up just like flat earth theories there has been like a resurgence in belief for
some reason of the hollow earth theory. Now I assume it's either because of like
social media like TikTok or pop culture like the recent Godzilla, King Kong, like
the monster verse like make really big references to it as well as the
Aquaman movies which I've never seen because fuck DC movies. Well I mean
depends the Batman was sick. The Batman was sick. The new Suicide Squad.
The new Suicide Squad was good. No? So how am I saying that the DC movies are bad?
Oh no. I agree with you but you're trying to get people to listen you
just made a bunch of nerds mad. That's fine.
But honestly Marvel sucks too. It's all just kind of they're all the same movie
at this point now. Yeah I'm over it. So Luke what what happened? What happened to
make people decide to just negate years and centuries of science and be like
nah this is this can't be right. What happened here? So here's exactly what
happened. So right when personal computers started gaining access to the
internet yeah the first people to get that were nerds and they did for fun
they had message boards and there were two sides you get assigned a side it's
like a nerdy debate club that mostly the Flat Earth one was bigger but there was
also Hollow Earth and that this one is two sided with Hollow Earth and also
comes down to Hollow Moon. Hollow Moon is almost the topic of this episode. I could
have taught this episode if it was on Hollow Moon but boomers essentially.
Because then after these message boards were fully established yes boomers
ended up finding them and they didn't get the joke. True. They did not know that
they were supposed to like they're using like these bullshit like things to keep
a debate going. Yeah well it was and like message boards back then like
especially like the Flat Earth stuff is that like it was nerds they didn't
really believe in what they were talking about but what you were right they chose
a side and it wasn't trolling it was light-hearted ribbing like I believe
everyone knew that everyone was in on the joke yes and then a bunch of
dum-dums found those and were like oh man these Flat Earthers are making like
a lot of sense. Same thing with Hollow Earth which spoiler for the rest of the
episode they they were not making sense they were just smarter than you talking
about something and you got tricked. That's right. That is so that was one part of it
and then it also comes down to Hollow Moon where technically if you look at the
math our moon shouldn't be no we're not gonna do that now we're not gonna do
okay let's make this a three hour episode come on no just wait Luke all
right well you are partially right on where the modern concept of Hollow Moon
came from it actually started in the 1600s if you want to call that modern
it's not ancient it's closer to where we are now than fucking cell phones right
yeah it's with it with a book called the Mundus Subterranius which was a
straight-up textbook written by Athanasius Kircher which made the claim
that the North and South Poles were connected by like a big old tunnel that
fed water through to either side I think maybe I couldn't find an English version
of the book so I just went off of what Wikipedia had to say on it and even then
it was very minimal because I think that's basically the gist of it is that
in the middle of the world this is hollow it's a giant tube connecting the
North and South Pole that's how the water circulates around the earth I don't
know then in 1692 a dude named Edmund Haley trying to understand why the
Earth's magnetic field was acting all like caddywampus concluded that the
earth must be hollow sort of it wasn't so much like a hollow ball but consisted
of three like three shells the outer shell the one that we're on and it's
only 500 miles thick two inner consent concentric shells and then a core now
these three shells had their own standard right had their own magnetic
poles and rotated at different speeds which explained why the earth's magnetic
field would shift which I mean he is kind of right about like it does shift
because the mag like the core moves around but not so much in the fact that
there's just a bunch of different rings it kind of reminds me of like the
Time Turner from Harry Potter is what he's picturing opening of Game of Thrones
or the opening of Game of yeah that's exactly it that is exactly it one guy in
1780 proposed that caves near the Mississippi River was an entrance to
Hollow Earth and then I'll buy into that just because of hellier and then in 1818
a guy named John Cleaves Sims jr. came up with the idea that the earth is made up
of a single 810 mile thick shell with openings at the poles that were 1400
1400 miles wide and then inside there were four more inner shells with their
own openings at the pole I don't know man this all just sounds like just
like grifter Alex Jones theater like bullshit oh man dude sims got a
statue erected of him in Ohio for just like making shit up but you get the idea
that Hollow Earth is stupid and boring but it's also been around forever
yeah so do you want to get to like a good story about it yeah no Dave no
actually let's skip that one well this is gonna be the rest of the episode so
I'm sorry where are we at right now in Hollow Earth are we are we bored yet
uh there's so much there's so much more other shit like putting my Alex Jones
hat on I'm very mad at the picture of a woman I have near my computer but no
one's been there so no one's been where in the center of the earth yeah cuz
it's that's the that's the hat that I'm wearing right now okay just let it go
cuz it's full of lava I guess magma lava is when it's on magma yeah you were so
ready to fucking correct me you asshole oh man all right um sorry I'm just
trying to decide what beer I'm gonna drink next I got a rye ale IPA called
green weenie or that one I know I'm choosing for you green weenie green weenie
unless the next episode no you already did the hopskin Hopkins ditto goblins
yeah you should have a stroke a little bit all right this is not my first drink
so the story that made the hollow earth theory really jump back into the
mainstream and give it a push on the smooth brain conspiracy theorists was
when in 1997 the flight journal and quote-unquote secret diary of Admiral
Richard B bird detailing his February 19th 1947 flyover of the North Pole got
published his quote-unquote secret diary I'm putting this in quotes because okay
wait first up I think every diary should be a secret diary unless it's on live
journal this that is true the thing I got is that his apparently what after he
died his son released his journal and then some college published it something
I don't know all I know is that move nothing I'm gonna go right there it's a
dick move yeah for your own son just put your shit out on the streets like that
dude you ever read the diary of Anne Frank mm-hmm they should have you
should cut a lot of a lot of that out well I get the historical importance but
like what parts Luke I know the parts you're thinking like parts the 12 year
old girl was finding out about genitals yeah that is fair yeah go to cut that one
out okay I came to the same realization at a certain age as well but we didn't
blast it into common practice reading for schools but a hum it I mean it was
already a very humanizing diary but I mean I guess it kind of humanize was but
you could have left that out fair enough all right but anyways let's get back to
you want to read about a 12 year old girl talking about penises I didn't Luke
let's get back to Admiral Byrd and his secret I like where we're going his
secret diary starts out like this quote I must write this diary in secret and
obscurity it concerns my Arctic flight of the 19th day February in the year of
19 and 7 1947 there comes a time when the rationality of men must fade into
insignificance and one must accept the inevitability of truth I'm not at
liberty to discuss the following documentation at the time of this
writing perhaps it shall never see the light of public scrutiny but I must do
my duty and record here for all the read one little did you know that his shit
fuck of a son is like yo he didn't want anyone to see this hey I got this thing
now now from here he details his flight at 6 a.m. Byrd takes off from the Arctic
base camp around 730 he radios back to camp to check in all is normal besides a
few run ins with some turbulence everything is smooth sailing that is
until a little after three hours into the flight he notices some discoloration
in the snow with some it's yellow with some reds and purples mixed in they seem
to go in a linear pattern now he circles the air a few times to get a better look
when both of his onboard compasses start spinning and wobbling and he's unable to
keep them steady so they're just going ape shit they're just fucking twirling
all around and wait he's near the pole right he's flying over the North Pole
that's what happens yes I know but he also notes that his controls feel slow
and sluggish as if something is slowly moving his plane for him now only five
minutes later at 915 he sees a mountain range in the distance that he has never
noticed before and heads for them when his aircraft finally gets to this
mysterious mountain range 45 minutes later he sees a lush green valley with
a running river flowing through it the mountain sides are covered in thick
forests he lowers his altitude and makes a sharp turn to better examine the
valley and noting that quote the light here seems different I cannot see the
Sun anymore and quote where are we at Luke I don't believe them you don't
believe them oh you froze you froze there for a second so I didn't know what
was happening yeah the audio was fine though um maybe you shouldn't be able to
fly anymore just saying because you can't see the Sun because he doesn't know
how instruments work well I don't think anyone has flown over the Arctic before
I think this is like a new thing was this like the first flight to the Arctic
I have no idea I don't look into that much because I feel like we always
knew how compasses worked true magnet it is a magnet and it points at one thing
this is fair but I guess yeah you are you are at the highest point of north
you can get what else is it gonna do you go over it and all of a sudden it
switches around like yeah you crossed it so like I said he lowers his altitude
makes a sharp turn to better examine the valley noting that the light there is
different he can't see the Sun anymore he makes another left turn so you know
the circle when he spots an animal moving my compass is spinning when he
spots an animal moving in the distance he drops his altitude to a thousand feet
and whips out his trusty binoculars and what does he see I want to give you a
guess what does he see when he pulls out his binoculars what is the animal that
he's seeing the jackalope it's a fucking woolly mammoth ah yeah of course the
ancestor of the jackal it tracks I was I was close you were just a couple you
know but all right so he keeps flying and observing his surroundings and his
instruments which are now telling him that it's 74 degrees outside now mind
you he's supposed to be in the North Pole now it's about around 1130 and he's
now over what appears to be just a beautiful countryside just amber waves
of grain and spots what he believes is a city in states that his plane feels
light and oddly buoyant and the aircraft's controls refuse to respond and
it was pretty much flying on its own so he felt like he should tell a ground
control that he thinks his plane knows what to do yeah pretty much it's a major
time it's then that he notices a strange type of aircraft closing in at a very
rapid rate he states they are disk shape and have a radiant quality to them he
then goes on to write quote they're close enough now to see the markings on
them it is a type of swastika this is fantastic you know what never mind no
and Frank I want to hear everything she has to learn about any more pages to
that book I want it well some people I know your mind immediately went to
Nazis and that the tool society there is a theory that they did enter Hollow
Earth and took refuge there I don't think that's what he's referencing I
remember at the top I mentioned the mythological Buddhist city Shambhala oh
what year was this again 1947 I'm yep no I should hold on so I think that's what
he's talking about considering the swastika was a Buddhist symbol long
before the Nazis or at least that's what I hope considering that bird was a
World War two vet and this is not long after so I consider just like all my
boys I honestly hope you wouldn't be like that stuck to see not he's like oh shit
thank God an ally is here anyways continuing on now after noticing the
craft your ports your reports of voice coming through the radio and he
described it as having a slight Nordic or German accent oh okay oh no all right
so maybe it's attention calm down I'm just saying is ahead of Germanic or
Nordic accent maybe it's not the Buddhist city that we're all thinking oh
yeah no cuz like I lived in Nepal for a little bit and there was swastikas
everywhere but they did not have Nordic and or German accents no I think so
they're all four and a half feet tall and had the accent you would imagine I
think but so the voice relayed the message should I try and do like an
alien like I'm not gonna try and do a German accent no no no yes you are not
that no okay I will I will end this podcast ready yep welcome Admiral to our
domain we shall land you on exactly seven minutes
relax Admiral you are in good hands yeah I loved that because I couldn't tell if
you're trying to do alien or German as combo it was right in the middle I love
that sweet spot if I saw an alien with a swastika on his arm that's I know it's
gonna sound that's exact all right now it's then when he realizes that the
engines to the plane aren't even on and that the plane is moving on its own
completely now at this point the mysterious now controller of Bird's
plane starts starts the landing process Bird describes the descent as though
caught in some great unseen elevator and they touched down with no more than a
slight jolt now it's only 1145 only five hours and 45 minutes from the time it
took to take off from when they ended up touching down in this mysterious
possibly Nazi occupied world now here is what Admiral Bird writes in the planes
flight log just after touchdown quote I am making a hasty last entry in the
flight log several men are approaching on foot towards our aircraft they are
tall with blonde hair in the distance is a large shimmering city pulsating with
rainbow hues of color I do not know what is going to happen now but I see no
signs of weapons on those approaching I hear now a voice ordering me by name to
open the cargo door I comply and log and that is where we will return next week
oh what happened next with Admiral Bird and his adventures into Hollow Earth
because there's so much going on smash that like button hit that Bell there was
so much to cover on this because like after the flight log ends it goes into
him just recounting what happened through memory and it gets fucking wild
and I could not fit it into a half hour long episode so I'm gonna break it down
into segments so I'm saying through new format three hours long this is a
knowledge fight I can't this isn't Dan Carlin's hardcore history I can't have
oh I'm not even thinking hardcore history I'm thinking like astonishing
legends each this is still part one it's just gonna be three hours long we're
gonna delve and go now like they did nine hours on a whole a whole I don't
know how they did it but it was great was it a sinkhole or just just a hole oh
no sir was called Mel's hole it was uh I think I saw that documentary on Pornhub
I found it on Pornhub but yeah
oh shit Luke well here's the thing so we have the rest of Admiral Bird story that
will cover that will cover recover next week but after that this is gonna be a
series because I found out about con convex earth which is that is that we
are not we are actually living we are living inside the Hollow Earth we're on
the outside of the rim baby on the world we're on the inside of the rim
thing imagine yeah yeah it's a whole no no I get you it's a you sounded like you
were making like something a very hard to understand argument no I get it it's
not a but thing I promise yeah like if I look up I can see China which spoiler
alert I can't and also the Sun goes down sometimes but well no so you do you
think about it all wrong oh I think I have no idea but it turns the whole
thing Hollow Earth goes way way beyond what I thought I could fit into a whole
half-hour episode so we're just gonna do that next week oh the level of dumb
dumbest just keeps going my man it's absurd can part 7 be us on a bunch of
turtles well that's what I believe is that we do live on the back of a giant
turtle obviously that goes against my religion of believing Ouroboros holds
the oceans together oh shit well Luke you're coming some turtles aren't friends
you fucking idiot you're coming back next week we're gonna finish this off
and we're not well no because this will happen for probably the next month
because there's gonna be so much of it but if you want to go hollow Earth for
the last our hollow moon for the last one I implore you to write an episode of
high what I will take the reins for that one well we'll percent down we'll finish
it up with hollow moon so everyone get ready for the next month and a half
basically of Luke being on the show and then bonus patreon do the moon tunnel the
fuck is the moon tunnel oh boy I'm working it in don't worry I don't know
the moose out whatever well Luke thank you so much if you want to talk about
weird journals found by weird men the moon tunnel is where it's at I bet there
are a lot weirder journals from a lot weirder madden there's worse things
written by worse people I fucking know that for sure but there's probably worse
things written by better people but either way I mean thank you so much for coming on
make sure everyone who is listening sticks around to next week to hear how
this ends Luke I don't know if you have anything you want to plug I don't know
what's that no fucking follow my Instagram spring-heeled Luke yeah
bring Hilda it's mostly my cat my cat's great it's my cat and pinball scores
yeah so if you're in the pinball follow Luke's Luke works at a pinball bar I
guess he would call it that three years but no well he did work at a pinball
bar yeah and now we just hang out there yeah now he's a barber bar barber bar
bar bar that's attached to the pinball bar bar that I used to work at look at
that's all next time where we just make a lol lol lol sounds for about 45 minutes
well that's that's me my new podcast it's all just gibberish ASMR well probably
get more followers alright everyone thank you so much for listening make
sure you follow us on Instagram at cryptic cocktail just weird
you froze well you froze too our internet's trash all right
follow me on Instagram at cryptic cocktail follow me on Twitter at
cryptic cocktail follow me on tik-tok at cryptic cocktail party this week
follow me on Pornhub at Mel's Hole this week is the last week to pre-order the
cryptic cocktail t-shirts so if you want one make sure you do it because I'm
taking them out of the store as soon as go fuck and get them because I approve
the design Luke did approve by which I mean Dave asked me which one I liked
best and diamonds yeah so snag one please do and with that Luke do you want
to say goodbye to the lovely audience I'm good