But we pick up right off where you guys just left the leatherworking shop as the guards
entered.
You guys step back out into Salt Haven and smell the beautiful salty fresh salt air from
the ocean.
You're into it.
There are places all around.
You're still standing in the central-ish area of this wonderful marketplace.
You guys have some time to kill.
As you can see, the sun may be about an hour or so before the sun sets over the horizon.
You have some items you still need to go back and pick up.
But until then, and before you find a place to maybe rest for the night or anything like
that before you go on your next grand adventure, what and where would you guys like to go?
Go to the bathroom.
And then you just see him kind of like pause for a minute and say, okay, Shmee's good.
You're starting to smell.
I don't want to slow you down, Captain.
You know, Shmee takes time to go to the bathroom.
That's more time Shmee could be serving, Captain.
Smell like success.
You actually make me want to vomit.
Captain, Shmee's never felt so good about himself.
Thank you, Captain.
Shmee just kind of like walks away looking so proud.
I would like to find the red-skinned woman to discuss the potential armor sale.
All right.
Earlier this day, you remember seeing her, the building that was directly across from
the empty net tavern where you originally started.
Would you like to walk all the way back across town to get there?
Yes, but would there be any points of interest between where we are now and where she is?
So as you guys walk across town, I will describe some points of interest just for you.
You guys walk past a popular, what seems to be a popular inn.
There are people outside kind of enjoying themselves.
There's a sign that says the snapping line inn.
And this place looks like it was built from the planks and holes of half a dozen decommissioned
ships.
Its decoration is particularly nautical in theme, and it seems that it might be a good
place for traveling fishermen to sleep.
And then once again, you guys walk past the weekly market, but at this time, you can tell
that a lot of the stables and stalls and whatnot are kind of wrapping up what they were doing.
It's a lot of like random kind of shipping accessories and fishing accessories like ropes,
nets, crates, barrels.
You see, notice Shmee as he walks by a few of these places kind of just like hides his
face from the...
Let's keep moving.
Shmee, tell me the truth.
I be your captain after all.
Captain, Shmee...
Shmee has no friends, captain.
I do not think of us as friends.
You see him kind of like a little light kind of light up in his eyes.
He looks at he goes, Captain, you're friends with Shmee?
Aye, Shmee.
You see Shmee just like burst with glee as he runs into the nearby shop and he goes,
eat it.
Don't you Shmee has friends?
Don't you people like Shmee?
And he just kind of leaves.
And then you see him run to the next one and just like break in and say the same thing.
Okay, well, the next one you break into, all you guys, you three, you've never seen this
place before, but he runs right in.
There's a sign out front that says Carpenter's Guildhall.
And whenever he swings the door open and says, eat it, you can see there's a table.
It's a small table though, which seems kind of odd.
But then you see that what looks to be a snobby gnome holding a very large hammer behind the
table is Shmee bust in the door and yells.
And then the gnome yells back and she's like, God damn it, Shmee, if you don't get the
you fucking stink, get out of the Carpenter's Guildhall.
Come in here one more time and you're going to get a hammer to the face, Shmee.
Okay?
Shmee knows he stinks, but Shmee has friends.
And he just kind of like turns right.
He's like, he kind of just runs out all happy.
So this building that Shmee just ran in and ran out of, you guys can see that this whole
building is actually kind of like a marvel of worksmanship.
And it's much nicer than anything else in this area.
You can see that it was made without even a single nail.
But all of the wood on it is very, very nice.
Like it's not all rotted and kind of falling apart from the sea spray like all the other
buildings are.
The gnome on the inside goes right back to work, but leaves the door open as she continues
hammering away.
So Carwin is extremely like just oogling this because, you know, she's a shipwright and
does lots of carpenter work.
And then of course, Melvin always had some sort of something going on.
And like that kind of architecture on that is just fascinating.
So she's just, even if she's following people, her head is like on a swivel just staring
at this gorgeousness of a building.
Nice.
The gnome kind of walks out and takes a look at you and sees that you're also kind of made
of wood.
And she walks all the way out to you and she goes, oh, well, hey, my name is Jilly R. Kanklestein.
I'm the leader here, the Carpenters Guild Hall.
What kind of wood are you made out of there, friend?
Today there was a special wood I was made out of, but today it's weathered pine that
he could find to make me.
He did have wonderful wood that I was made of, but today it's just some weathered pine.
It helps me be buoyant.
Perhaps, perhaps.
It's a rare sight when I see some good woodworking.
So I had to come out and say hello to you.
I don't know why you're traveling with Shmi, but I'm sure, of course, he probably has told
you that I will pay very handsomely for any kind of rare wood.
I am obsessed with rare woods.
As a gnome, I can really gawk over some good wood.
I could go on a huge list of all the wood I've handled.
Oh, I see that you're a fan of some good wood yourself.
Aye, I love to have wood in both me hands.
Me too.
I love to work with wood.
I like to sand it down real good, up and down, up and down, up and down, until it's nice
and smooth.
And I like to use that wood to pleasure people with the sight of good wood.
A gnome speaking after me own heart.
I will keep an eye out for some good wood for you.
Well, good.
If you ever find yourself in the Hool Marshes or even the Drowned Forest and the Dreadwood,
you let me know.
There's a couple of things I am looking for, and if you can find anything great, you let
me know.
Well you know what, here, one second.
And she runs inside and she comes back out with this list and she's flipping through
the paper and then she stops on a page and she's like, I would love and I would pay handsomely
for a shard of treants bark.
Alright?
But it has to be given to you freely.
It can't be taken.
I know that sounds weird, but it has to be given.
And also, hey, a wooden stake that was used to impale a vampire, I would pay greatly for
that.
Or even some splinters from a tree that was struck by lightning.
Oh my gosh.
I really like some good wood.
And I especially like rare wood.
Wood that no one else has touched before.
Like some virgin wood.
Bob taps Karwin on the shoulder and says, how thinks they talk about claspers?
About what?
So, a clasper is a shark penis.
Oh, okay.
For those of you viewers out there who didn't know, a clasper is a shark penis, apparently.
I didn't know that.
Yeah, feel free.
Remember, we're not just a podcast.
We are education.
Yes.
We'll teach you all about penises.
The more you know.
That's exactly right.
I too am sometimes confused by the way people speak, but I miss Jillyard, is it?
My name is Jillyard Kanklestein.
Jillyard.
I apologize.
I said it incorrectly.
I am too on a search for a special piece of wood that was originally part of my body that
was completely carved and placed there lovingly by my creator, but I can't find it.
Have you come across some ornately carved wood lately?
What kind of wood was it?
I have wood coming and going in me and around me, around my shop all the time.
So what kind of wood was it?
I might remember some fancy wood that came inside the shop.
Oh, Shmecie's what you're all doing.
I get it now.
It was actually Wenge.
I have heard tales of a humanoid, short shaped Wenge and I have heard tales and I don't know
a lot and it definitely has not come through here, but I might have a lead on it.
I tell you what, if you're around here long enough, just stop on back by and if I know
anything about it, I'll let you know.
If you have any more descriptors or anything like that and I might be able to help you
out, especially a fine lady who loves wood and is made of wood, just like me, you know,
you've got to help each other out.
Indeed.
Well, Wenge sticks out amongst all wood because of its dark, deep dark color.
So seeing that type of wood in general is extremely rare.
However, this was covered with it was mostly my torso piece that would have shown right
here and she points to her, like the open spot where you see the wood on her abdomen.
Here it would have been completely ornately carved with swirls and to match my tattoos.
And I mean, she calls them tattoos because that's what everybody else understands them
to be.
But they're they're like squirrel marks and they would have all matched.
So, okay.
Well I'll keep an eye out.
I and you guys let me know if you find any kind of rare wood.
Okay, and you bring it back here and I'll keep an eye out for this wood for you, my
lady.
They called you Carwin.
Of course, I'll keep an eye out for you.
And again, if you find a, you know, a steak that was used to kill a vampire or even a
branch of a tree that was used to hang some kind of murderer or, you know, tendrils that
were harvested from a shambling mound, you know, that would be cool or even some planks
of like a deck from a stolen pirate ship.
That would also be really cool.
Just any kind of rare wood.
And besides that, if you ever need repairs in your ships, of course, that's how I normally
make my money.
So if you need repairs, come around here.
So I am far away from my creator.
Would you be able to help me?
Should I have issues with my wood?
Of course, I can help anybody with their wood.
You know?
I'm real good at helping people out with their wood.
You know, sometimes I get stuck doing laundry and I can't move and then someone comes around
and they need help with their wood and I just help them out.
Oh my God.
If you're so good at helping people with their wood, do you have any deck stain?
Oh, I got all kinds of deck stain.
If you need some good deck stain.
Aye.
We'll keep you in mind and trust me.
I think I'll be going out of my way to find Mia Hangman's branch.
Shmee, how strong is your neck?
Captain Shmee, you know, he doesn't want to brag and you just see him kind of like flexing
and just really try to impress you with his neck muscles.
You'll do fine, lad.
Okay, Captain.
Thank you, Miss Kanklestein.
I will make sure I write it in my book that you were looking for wood with a story.
Yes, wood with a story.
That's the best way to call it.
Okay.
You guys be good and yarr to ye.
All right.
Let the sun and always be at your back and the wind always be in your sails.
And good luck with your penises.
God damn it, Shmee.
Like a hammer comes flying.
You know, when I was reading this bit, I didn't even think about the wood joke and it just
kind of came out and then it's just beautiful.
And I also didn't think about it being a part of your main story there, Carwin.
So that's wonderful.
That's very cool.
Yeah.
And dang it.
That's not how I meant for my character to be.
That my creator's wood was.
Oh, come on.
Definitely not a G rated character anymore.
That's it.
And you guys walk back over the bridge, right?
Back over to the empty net tavern to refine this lady with the red skin before you figure
out what you're going to do for the night.
And again, you could see the single large bridge.
It spans over the river and it does have shops and homes along its length.
Most of them kind of wrapping up for the night at this point.
And it does this bridge, you can tell once again, it looks like it predates this village.
I mean, it's fricking old.
Even as you walk over it, you kind of look over the sides and you can see that maybe
it's not the sturdiest.
But eventually you make it to the other side and you make it past the empty net tavern.
Eventually you make it to this place and there's a sign that says the faithful quartermasters
of Luz outside.
There looks to be some kind of trade delegation again.
And you can see that there are people coming and going, like kind of wrapping up for the
night.
They have like large, large crates of fish and they are like taking them all the way
down to the docks down by the empty net and kind of putting them in this ship and then
coming back up.
And you can't see the red skinned lady standing on the front porch anymore like she was before.
But you do figure maybe she's on the inside or in the area or something.
The door is wide open and there are people coming and going like around the back with
these large crates.
You guys stand to front and across the street from you is the empty net and you could hear
like parry in there kind of like still sweeping and preparing things for the night as the
sun is setting.
So what do you guys do?
I just want to head into the building with the open door and see if she's in there.
Does everyone follow?
Yeah, she may have followed the captain.
I don't see any reason why help wouldn't follow.
As you swing wide and you get inside of this building, you can see this woman.
She's wearing almost a full leather, a billion of like black leather and kind of like a greenish
brownish looking leather full outfit.
She has golden rings like she has a golden ring around her arm and around her fingers.
Her skin is fully red, her eyes completely yellow and her hair is very silky and smooth,
but it's black, black hair runs all the way down past her chest.
And then she's sitting in this chair kind of like leaning back.
Two legs are up in the air of the chair.
She's got her feet up on the table in front of her and she's kind of rocking back and
forth counting gold pieces.
And as you guys walk a little bit closer, you see her tail kind of like swing out from
behind her behind the chair, like as if she was almost going to fall in the chair, but
then her tail kind of rebalanced her and put her back on track.
And you can see that even her tail has like three little golden rings that go up her tail
to the front.
And as you guys kind of walk inside and walk closer, she goes, ah, yes, more, more, more,
more.
What can I do you for?
Perchance you might be interested in a set of water breathing scale mail.
The leather worker pointed us to your direction.
Good, good, good, good, good.
I like that lady.
She's very, very nice.
Not very smart though.
She follows the guards with a blind eye.
Not not.
I had a feeling about that.
Well I guess pleasantries are in order before we do business.
My name is Captain Zendros.
I am here of the faithful quartermasters of Luz.
I come and I sell and I do my bidding.
It's not very often that I get to buy and trade and sell and magical whatnot.
But I do.
I do.
So what are your names?
How do I know I can trust you before I just go off buying something?
I'm Shmi.
You know Shmi.
Hey, it's Shmi.
Hmm.
Yeah, I am.
Wait.
Shmi, what have you done to this one?
I don't think anything, Captain.
Oh yeah, he hasn't done nothing, but I've seen him.
You want me to wrap them, Captain?
Shmi can wrap them.
Just just just just hold on.
Hold on.
I'm being pretty good at it.
I I I I know Shmi.
I know Shmi.
But we're whispering right in front of her and it's she's looking at us with a bit of
suspicion now.
Right.
You know Shmi's hearing talking loud enough so everyone can hear us, Captain, to be rude
not to.
I know.
But I'll talk about this later.
Okay.
Yeah.
Aye.
Anyway, lass, I be coxswain of the sea.
Crew assert yourselves.
You have a crew, so then you have a ship.
Is it a nice ship?
It floats.
That is the only descripting factor of a boat, I guess.
Aye.
Okay.
Well, here's the deal.
Coxswain and your faithful crew, as she like holds up her fingers and does like quotation
marks and the like three gold coins she was kind of like spinning around in her hand almost
like disappear.
She holds her hands up and does the quotations as if she like somehow put them away without
you even realizing.
And she says, here's the deal.
I do buy magical items and I do sell magical items.
But if you want to buy from me, there's a deal we have to work out.
So if you're interested, we can do that.
But if you're only here to sell, then I will buy and then we'll go on my way.
But there's no telling if you'll ever see me again, because I come and I go as I please.
Unless of course I have deals.
What is it that you want us to do for you?
So if you would like to buy from me, I search and I buy and I search and I buy and I bring
things back here to Salthaven.
And if you want to buy from me, then you must pay me a 50 gold piece retainer to engage
in my services as a magical item broker each week.
Okay, hand it over.
Per week?
Is that?
Wait, I'm just this is Melody or Odie.
I'm just making sure that's what you said, right?
Per week.
Yep.
So you could you could pay the 50.
All right, you can come back in a couple of days and see what items she has and you can
buy them.
And if you choose, you can pay the retainer again.
So on and so forth.
Odie said per week?
Yeah.
You guys are fucking like level twos, right?
You're broke as shit.
So but once you get up there, 50 gold really won't be enough.
You know what I mean?
The way that this works, I'm let you guys know, even here in this book here, what happens
is once you guys come back to her, I go to a magical item table that is already in the
D&D book and I roll five times and then those will be the items.
They're like random.
Those will be the items she has for sale.
That's what it says to do here in this book.
But I also might pull out some cards from our, you know, drunk of magical deck of card
items, right?
Or even throw in some homebrew things here and there.
If you guys continue to keep up the retainer.
So that's kind of how that works.
OK, that's a little bit more palatable.
Hi, Odie.
Do you not trust your captain?
I didn't say that in character voice.
Oh, yeah.
He just said that out loud.
Hi, Odie.
Yeah.
Zendros kind of pipes up.
She's like, who the fuck is Odie?
Is this man crazy?
Never you mind, Erla.
Hey, Shmee.
Yeah.
Do you trust this man?
I do.
Hey, Shmee.
Well, I mean, he's tall.
OK.
He is tall.
How does not know who he talking to?
As this right hand man.
You've just been dealing with this for years.
So now that you've paid my 50 gold retainer, return to me in a few days.
When you see me here, come through and I will show you what I have to say.
Additionally, if you want a specific item, I can fulfill requests.
But that takes me one day for weeks of work and her asking prices based on the items rarity
as given in a table below here in the book.
And these items can come from table F or table G of the magical item section and the Dungeon
Masters guide if you're interested.
So if you want me to fulfill a request, you let me know.
Now let's bata over this set of mail we originally came here to discuss.
OK.
She takes the 50 gold from you and it almost like disappears in a poof of like a red flame.
And then she pulls out this little eyeglass and looks down at the armor and she goes,
hmm, yes, yes, yes, yes.
I sold this to a man recently.
A man afraid of drowning.
Well, to me, a man.
He did have wood after all.
You know what they say.
But he was a hobgoblin.
And I wonder what happened to him.
Anyways, it seems that you've gotten it back.
So I'll tell you what, I'll buy it back from you what I sold it to him for.
Even trade.
And how much did you sell it to him for?
250.
Carwin's just been like watching her analyzing her movements and stuff like that.
Does it sound I mean, I don't know her from anybody, but does it sound like she's being
truthful for how much she wants to roll me an insight check?
Oh, you could definitely tell that maybe she's kind of pushing the truth a little bit, but
it ain't much.
You think that, you know, maybe she sold it for more, but she's trying to run a business,
you know.
That's fair.
I'll take your deal.
Sounds good.
You know, gotta run a business.
She takes the item and then in a poof, it's gone.
She's like, all right, I'll see you in a few days.
Now get out of here for the guild masters of love get mad at me for having too many
guests.
Shmee.
Yeah.
You fucking stink.
Yes.
Take a shower next time before you come in here.
But captain likes the smell.
I never said that.
Is that true?
Well, you do talk to other worldly creatures, so I wouldn't put it past you.
Like the smell of a homeless goblin.
I roll my eyes and just walk out shaking my head.
Fuck yeah.
Is Shmee filled with fish?
I don't know.
Shmee's eaten a lot of fish in his day.
A lot of fish.
How want fish?
I picture you guys already kind of walked out and you know for a fact she definitely
ain't selling fish.
Retcon that.
I hope you want some fish.
Let's go find you some fish.
Back to the town.
You guys could absolutely go back to the empty net tavern if you want to.
You did while you were wandering around the town did also see there are two inns and it's
the first inn that you guys walked passed by that was directly across the street from
the Dwarven Anvil where Help is getting his awesome trident made.
The one that's made out of ships.
And there is another inn that was called the Whiskr goat, if I remember correctly.
And the Wicker goat is full of guards and it's basically like a guard inn.
So you guys have three options.
How like to eat with mouth?
You're missing out there's so much more you can use.
This shark man and the robot lady look hungry.
Shmee knows a spot that's good food.
It's cheap.
Real cheap.
Shmee I am like would put a hundred gold down to say that you've eaten out of a dumpster
before.
Of all things dumpster is where he draws the line.
Wouldn't bring his friends to a dumpster.
He knows Shmee knows way nicer places in town.
Right.
All right.
Let's go.
You kind of see Shmee take you guys downtown.
You're around a corner and you see this.
What I picture would be like a really nice kind of restaurant.
It's a bit of a lineup.
You have some orcs wearing some suits.
All right.
Wait a minute.
I thought you were going to say there's like a fancy dumpster.
There is absolutely not fancy orcs wearing suits.
For sure.
We can't get that crazy.
What I pictured he would walk past the restaurant and bring you guys around back to where the
compost bin was.
Captain thought it was a dumpster.
No food in a dumpster captain.
Look.
He kind of looks up and there's just like a bunch of old salad and half eaten meals.
All right.
Fuck it.
We'll take it.
It's mostly all fish heads and shit though because this is a fishing town.
For once I'm very glad I do not eat things.
Okay.
Fine.
If this is what we're doing fine.
I'll let it happen.
You don't get very many improv moments to build shit and this is what you went with.
So you know what?
In front of you sits a compost bin that is made out of slats of wood like fencing but
it's like three feet high and like five feet across like slop almost where pigs would eat
out of if pigs were three feet tall which they're not but it is wide and there is loads
and loads of fish guts and fish heads and what looked to be kind of like branches and
sticks from like vegetables maybe even like some old wheat and like peels from onions
and it's just kind of like flowed all the way down and as you guys walked around this
corner you seen it and smelt it and yes, Halp, he started jumping up and down so very excitedly
and there really isn't much else behind this here building, this pop-up restaurant that's
here right now but probably won't be later.
It's a pop-up restaurant for fancy orcs.
Would you become the DM for a moment?
Brought to you by Nate.
I'm giving it to you, okay?
I love how it's like you made it like a hipster pop-up that's run up and down.
One night only.
Yeah.
What do you guys do?
There's like two pirates.
Halp, you first.
What do you do?
Halp's going face first into the waste and just devouring.
The whole time.
Just do that for a little bit so I can edit it in to make it go for a while.
I want to say you jump up and start like swimming back and forth in it.
Now while you guys are talking about maybe what you're doing just remember that Halp
making that noise is probably in the background.
I'm going to pick Shme up.
Well Shme, if it's good enough for you.
I throw him in.
Ah, thanks Captain.
Look out for the shark.
He's beyond a feeding frenzy.
This is dangerous.
So you're guys' first night officially in Salt Haven to do whatever you want and this
is where you've ended up.
Captain, this is the best day Shme's had in years.
Additionally Shme, please roll me a Dexterity save as Halp is eating so fast.
I want to make sure you can get out the way.
Dexterity is my specialty.
That's a seven.
As you get a Shme like hand in your mouth, Halp, you can kind of see it.
Do you bite down and continue eating or not?
Can I roll something to determine that?
If you want.
Sure.
What would that be?
You could just do a d20 and judge it for yourself.
Now remember Shme's already missing some fingers so he might be missing some more.
Do like a wisdom check maybe.
Yeah.
Isn't he pretty intelligent?
He is.
He's pretty damn smart.
Okay, I don't bite.
Okay.
So you come to a complete stop right in front of Shme.
Maybe you smell the rancidness of Shme.
It kind of cuts through the fish guts and so you come to a complete stop because you
can smell him there so you don't bite down on him.
I did take the liberty to roll a sleight of hand.
Do you think a 19 is enough to just steal food out of Halp's mouth?
Just mine.
His hand was there, he just grabs it.
Sure.
Jesus Christ.
So Karwin is just has her arms crossed and is looking like standing at the tee in the
alleyway that I'm sure is behind it and right next to the building and she's just watching
other people and just ignoring the scene that's next to her because she's used to them being
dumb or help going into a feeding frenzy and she has to play lookout because she has to
make sure that people don't get near him so she's just kind of standing there with her
arms crossed and all of her weight on one foot and just shaking her head.
Adding compost bin full of fish guts to approved food list.
I can do that.
Eventually the sun begins to set over the horizon and the town kind of goes into a
very low rumble as all the sailors and the pirates begin to party around you and some
fog kind of starts to roll in off the sea as night begins to set and you guys wrap up
what you're doing here in this alleyway.
If there's anything you want to do or take with you or whatever please let me know but
the sun is beginning to set.
Is there an equipment shop that we could go to?
Absolutely and you're very lucky.
I decided at the beginning of this campaign to make shops open late just because I knew
something like this was going to happen where you all were going to hang out in an alleyway
eating all night instead of buying equipment for the adventure at hand.
Just very good and also I guess we'll say the sun's still setting.
It's not completely set but it's still kind of there's a little bit of light out so even
help if you want to go get your last harpoon, wait not harpoon, a trident before the sun
sets we can do that as well.
Carmen is questioning the captain.
When we use the lantern what is your plan?
I don't quite know yet.
I'm hoping that we get a signal back and we can go out there and perhaps sink the ship.
I had been thinking about the options we have at hand and for my particular skill set that
I provide for you I do believe that making holes in the ship is the exact opposite of
what I would typically do on a ship so I might be able to help you with this.
We could raise the ship and we could attempt to kill everyone on board but that one is
a little more tricky I do believe especially when we do not know the number of persons
on board.
I was having the same thoughts.
Garwood is there any way that you might be able to fit the boat upside down temporarily?
Let me think on that a little while.
As you guys walk before you make it to the Dwarven blacksmith area to pick up the things
I'm on your way to of course get Sheme's coat.
You guys pass by a store and it's called Winston's Store and behind on the inside you can see
through the window behind the counter there sits a man with a black hood over his face
and he's got a long beard and he's kind of like just sitting there spinning around a
dagger.
I think we should head on into the store and see what merchandise this man has.
Help follows.
You guys walk inside.
I need to get that like just as a sound effect so I can just add it in everywhere.
You walk inside and as you walk in the man with the long black beard and the black cloak
looks up and he goes, Hi, Coxen, when did you end up in this town here?
Dixon?
Tis I Dixon the Wind.
It's good to see you Coxen the Sea.
It's been a while.
Oh it has, it has.
Looking for a few certain things like some potions and maybe something we could take
over a boat with.
Ah we're going to luck brother.
Cause you see I spent years lurking out there in the marshes before a raid on an army payroll
caravan netted me enough loot to open up my own business right here in the free town of
Salt Haven.
Well you know until all the fucking dwarves and all the other shit moved in and now the
town's not as free as it was anymore and I'm mad about it.
But anyways I've got stuff and good that I was able to open my business before I had
to pay taxes.
Aye!
Anyways needless to say the increased presence of law enforcement here in Salt Haven has
me on edge and I am concerned that their involvement will ruin something.
But in the meantime being that we're brothers I will give you an old 10% discount on all
me goods and I've got everything a good adventurer will need.
I've got some minor healing potions and he starts like throwing things out onto the
counter from like this crate that he had back there.
Certainly in this it's completely lit up by candlelight but in here there's like nothing
on the walls it's like bare like there's no like back room.
There's like one counter where he was sitting so he just pulls out this box and like this
is all he has and he's got like minor health potions he lines them up he's got like little
bottles of oil he's got like some rope that have like little hooks at the end you know
what I mean like rope and hook.
He's got like little tinder boxes and like lock picks and all other kinds of fun little
stuff and he's like alright coxswain I'll give you and your friends a 10% discount on
whatever it is that you may need.
So what is it that you need?
Alright we definitely need some healing potions and we'll take a few of those rope and hook
things because those will be good for scaling a ship.
And those oils there what temperature do they burn at?
Well I'd say fairly hot.
I used them to take down a whole guard caravan one time.
Aye.
So the healing potions are 50 gold as it says here in the book but he'll sell them to you
for 45 if you want them and I do believe they're normal healing potions which I do believe
are D4s.
Aye.
Well we'll definitely take four of the potions and two of the grappling ropes and how much
are those vials of burny potions?
Well let me see I gotta do the math here and you know I'm awful at math so what is that
45 plus 45 plus 45 shit is that what?
One eighty for the potions.
Okay and then the oil I'll just give me 200 gold and I'll give you all this crap just
take it.
Aye sounds good there brother.
To me you considered stealing everything in here but the discount makes me feel like I
probably shouldn't anger this guy.
Shmee this here be my brother I will kill you.
I didn't say that out loud.
Shmee didn't say that.
I was talking in character.
Shmee's like looking at you like what?
I didn't say anything captain.
So then Dixon's like why are you gonna kill your goblin friend that was weird of you to
just say out loud.
Shmee's like I'll stand over here captain Shmee sorry for saying whatever he said.
Shmee this is my brother I will kill you.
And he's like I mean I am your brother but there's no reason to kill a fellow.
Jesus Christ Shmee I'll fucking kill you.
Holy shit.
Okay write it down we're gonna do four vials of oil like burning oil we're gonna do two
rope and hooks and four healing potions.
Hell yeah.
And then pass out one potion to each person so they all have one for themselves.
Don't don't hand Hop one.
You'll eat it.
I will eat it.
I mean well like fine help go.
There's a reason why he hasn't asked to hold the goblin.
I was picturing like you would have like in the background where you're still talking
to the shopkeep and we dive about the items you would have gave help when he's like almost
eating it and she's like no no no no.
Now and he's like trying to like get it from him and helps trying to eat it.
She meets like hanging on to his arm trying to pull the potion from him and no no no slapstick
stick.
Hope to God that help is full after he just ate a three foot by fucking eight foot like
thing of compost.
Yeah.
Patch of fucking compost.
I'm hoping he's good to go.
You know what I mean.
That was kind of the purpose of that.
At least for a while.
So wait I'm trying to add something to my inventory and what kind was a potion.
It was just potion of healing just like normal.
All right there coxswain.
Thanks for buying me out.
I'm gonna get some more stuff.
If there's anything you need let me know.
Come by I'll give you a deal.
It's good to see you in town.
It's good to have another brother of the whatever we are around.
As you guys leave I don't want to block you guys from doing anything you want to do.
Does anyone else want to talk to him or do anything in here before you leave.
Yeah after that threat of food.
He's okay.
We had a compost patch.
That's not what I meant.
Like for later.
No you just not.
For people not me that need food.
Yeah I forgot to mention at the compost pan I was gonna try to store some for later but
yeah that might be something.
Shmee would like do we see any food in here.
No this fucking place is empty.
That's what I thought yeah.
It's not have food yeah.
But um who knows you just gave him some money maybe he'll get more things and upgrade you
know.
But no I have to I have two rations I'm okay personally.
Odie you don't need to eat do you?
Nope.
All right.
Chingalingalingalingaling.
You guys leave.
You walk across the street.
You can see Mafera standing there with this crazy looking trident.
It's got like little curves at the tip that almost make like seas but they go off in two
different directions.
So they're like crazy little hooks on all three different tips and it's made out of this
crazy like super silver like steel and it's still got like some black kind of like oily
bits about it like she didn't clean it very well but the handle of it is like thicker
and like it's got like these nice little like designs in it for like grippiness.
It's all kind of like different kinds like lines and like swirls all over the handle
that kind of like comes up at like a cusp around the tip and around the bottom where
your big large shark hand might fit in there perfectly.
And she's standing there with it proud as you guys approach.
And I don't remember what I made her sound like.
For everybody in their listening land it's it have I these episodes go up in really weird
fashion so I don't know how long it's been for you but it's been a week or so for us.
All right.
How ready for Trident.
How that is absolutely gorgeous.
When you say that you're standing across the street still she throws it.
Will you roll me side of hand maybe to see if you can catch it as she fucking throws
it at you.
And it like whistles whenever she throws it across.
She throws this is like with the fucking steel she made it out of is so beautifully thin.
It whistles.
It's a nine.
All right.
That's still OK because it hits right inside of Dixon the wind's like wall of his building
right next to you.
You can hear him inside.
He's like oh and like tingling like it hits right in the wall and it's like you turn
your head and you're like it's right where your head was just sticking in the wall and
you kind of like grip your hands around it.
Roll me a strength save to pull that bitch out.
Just not doing well today.
You like trying to keep you put your legs up on the wall and you're like what what is
going on.
How very confused.
As you fall down with it it finally like slants and then pops out of the wall and you find
yourself sitting in front of Dixon the wind shop with two tridents in your hand and the
lady across the blacksmith she just yells and she goes take care of that one.
It's real nice.
Yes I take care of stabby step.
I bet you're going to enjoy it.
Hey one last thing.
If you want any upgrades or anything like that please make sure to bring it back.
I spent a long time on that.
Bring what back.
Yourself just just come back here.
You upgrade help.
Yes.
Help.
She's talking about your trident that is absolutely gorgeous.
Oh.
Okay.
All right well have a good night.
Have a good night.
So this trident has three points right.
So like the original trident looking points are very pointy and very sharp but coming
off of each one of the points to the left and to the right there are two other little
pieces of metal that almost curve like little C's and they like curve out kind of like little
S's.
So each point itself has like three little points.
Nice.
Yeah.
So it's like a trident of little tridents.
Yeah exactly.
A barbed trident.
There's no dwarf in the party but I was going to say if there was a dwarf here they'd be
able to realize that was made from dwarf and steel but there's no one here.
I would.
Technically.
Indeed.
I shouldn't have said anything then.
I made it made of wood and very gorgeous steel.
That's why she kept saying it's gorgeous.
Yeah.
Halp is looking the trident up and down and he gets kind of a very toothy shark smile
and says this is fin-tastic.
Oh Halp it's good to see that you're happy.
Are you happy?
Did Carwin pick the correct emotion?
Halp thinks so.
Boy's got a full belly and a brand new trident.
Fucking better be happy.
To the greatest extent of what he knows happy to be anyway.
Sweet.
All right.
Last but not least you guys of course you continue wandering down the street until you
make it back to of course the Kester Leatherworker store.
Before you guys go in you can see her kind of standing back there all by herself looks
like she's like whistling or something.
She's not working on anything.
Is there anything you guys want to say or do before you go inside?
Yeah no Schmiesfiller.
Are there any guards about?
There are not.
For the first time it looks like Kester's doesn't have any guards about.
And Carwin remembers that the Captain Z because I don't know if I can pronounce her last name
properly.
Had talked to.
Had said she follows guards with a blind eye.
Yeah Zendros was her name.
Captain Zendros.
Zendros.
Okay.
It's actually spelled with an X.
You know how D&D likes to spell all names with X's because they think they're edgy and
fucking fancy.
It's like stop.
Just delete that whole part.
Zendros?
That doesn't work.
So I think Carwin is kind of trepidatious in attempting to sell that silk to her.
I feel like she now has additional new information and so because she has not weighed all of
the potential options and things that could or couldn't, the pros and cons, that she would
not want to do anything.
That is very smart.
So chingalingalingalingaling.
You guys walk into the shop and she looks up and she goes, oh my goodness.
Welcome back.
Little Goblin, Little Goblin, please please come here.
I'm very excited.
I'm very excited to show you.
Oh, you make it nice for Shmi.
Of course.
I made it wonderful and it was a really good project.
And weirdly enough, I feel like I had worked on this before.
There was threads in here that I actually helped work on before and they were my threads,
which I found odd because I've never met you personally before.
You've never been in my shop before.
Yeah, it's so weird.
Yeah.
Is the jacket on the counter?
Yeah.
He's like, yeah, it's so weird.
He just kind of jumps up and grabs it.
He's like, I guess crazy.
He needs to go for just putting it on.
Like you're just pandering to her like, yeah, sounds good, man.
Yeah.
He's like, okay, well, I hemmed it up so it should land right at your feet and you shouldn't
trip over it anymore, which is really good.
I even hemmed up the sleeves for you and I left the inside real big and you only had
two pockets before.
Guess what?
Now I'm going to roll a dice here.
Now you have one.
I swear to God, I just rolled a one.
I'm going to reroll that.
No, you have one more pocket.
No, you had two.
Now you have one.
I'm going to reroll it.
Now you have nine pockets.
Wow.
That's so much better than one.
I almost did one, but then I thought about it and I was like, he might actually like
more than that.
So I rethought about it.
Now there's nine.
He's like, think of all the things he could put in there and he kind of starts looking
around the store right darting.
Like he's like, how much do I owe you lady?
Well, you already paid me.
I do believe, right?
You paid me eight gold plus.
Yeah, that's right.
Right.
Thanks.
You guys did actually, right?
I'm not sure.
Yes.
Okay.
Yeah, totally.
All right.
So that's all I can do you for for now.
I actually have a meeting with the guard.
I'm going to be eating some food with the guard at the wicker goat very soon.
And so I have to go now.
I'm going to close up, but if you ever need anything, please come on back.
Can Shmeekum?
You said if Shme needs anything, he could use food at the wicker garden.
Oh, no.
Hey, I'm actually going to go on a date with him, sweetheart, but maybe next time.
You said if Shmeekum needs anything.
Uh huh.
Anyways.
Oh, here's also this.
And she hands you a bag of like leather scraps.
She said you wanted this.
Thank you so much.
I did.
Thank you very much.
All right.
You bought chips, Carwin?
Shmeekum likes chips.
In a way.
I like one or two.
They are leather chips.
Yeah.
I see that.
I have a project I would like to use them for.
Okay.
So may I keep them?
Shmeekum.
And you can put like some salt on them or.
Please talk out the door, out the door, chingaling.
Okay.
She opens it and shoes you guys out and then she shuts the door.
Chingaling.
Well, now what?
I rarely say no, but I do have a project for this, Shmeekum.
Okay, but you know, if we find something that Shmeekum can make into chips, you'll help?
I cannot promise, but I.
No, you promise me.
It's almost like you have a lisp and you're like, you promise me.
You promise me.
Okay, so I hate to interrupt you guys from improving because I love it.
But you guys now stand on the furthest point of this town.
The leatherworking shop is one of the furthest points on this side of the town.
To your left, up the road, goes back up the hill towards the haunted house.
And to your right, it goes back into town towards the marketplace.
And at this point, the sun has for sure set and the fog is kind of starting to drift on
in.
And you can see what looks to be possibly a faint light out at sea, even from where
you're standing right now.
But you can only see it because you are already kind of looking for it.
You know that if no one was looking for this, they wouldn't see it because it's so far
off and to the left.
And you, knowing what's going on, you feel like you can kind of see it.