Hi, hello, everybody. My name is Turk. Welcome
back to the Grouch Couch. You're tuning into
a very special start of a very special campaign
of love, death and dice right here on the Grouch
Couch. Let's meet our players for tonight. Hello,
I am Fishy and I will be playing Merrill Wilson.
I'm Proteus and I will be playing Tilly the Wizard.
And I am Ray and I will be playing Professor
Scoutmaster Wildthorn. You're taking the whole
name, aren't you? So today, we're going to be
starting our magical journey into the University
of Randomonia. We're called Brimstone's University
of Mystics. Today, we're going to be using the
Kids on Brooms rule set. If you've never played
Kids on Brooms before, have no fear. We'll explain
as we play. Players, are you ready? I was born
for this. Of course, our story begins not in
the school, but in the city. The city sprawls
beneath a gray, cloud -covered sky, its streets
packed with workers, merchants, and nobles alike.
Despite the grandeur of its towering buildings
and deep history, there is an undeniable undercurrent
of disdain for magic woven into its daily life.
Here, magic is an unnecessary evil. Corset powers
the lanterns, forges weapons, and keeps the city's
protective barriers intact, but the people resent
those who wield it. Wizards, witches, and warlocks
are even seen as reckless, their power too unpredictable,
too unnatural. But then there's the university
itself. It stands in the heart of the city, completely
invisible to the untrained eye. Those who can
see it find themselves staring at a massive ancient
structure. and possibly tall, its towers twisting
into the sky as if they were drawn by a feverish
dream. The people, they know it's here, but they
pretend that it isn't, refusing to acknowledge
the reality that within those walls, wizards
are trained, curses are studied, and the very
fabric of existence is toyed with like a child's
game. But today, two new students are about to
step into that very world, whether they are ready
for it or not. Our first scene begins in a room.
A dark room. The shadows cling to the corners.
Mero stands in this room. In front of a cracked
mirror. The surface of this mirror is fogged
from the damp air in the room. What do we see
Mero doing? Mero would be standing in front of
the mirror. And then he would try to bring up
his hands and use transmutation type spells to
try and... rekindle the mirror back to its natural
form, but each time he does it, it cracks a little
bit more. He's getting kind of frustrated with
it. Like, he doesn't know what he's doing. He
knows what he wants to do, but it's just not
working right. Roll me a grit roll, Mero. We'll
call it a grit roll difficulty of six. Oh, that's
four. Okay. You, my friend, get to take an adversity
token. Yay. I mean, oh no. As you're trying to
cast magic on this cracked and broken mirror,
try to fix it, put it back into place, your hands
feel heavy with this magic that doesn't seem
to quite be working right. And you look back
up to the mirror as it cracks a little bit more
and something shifts in your reflection. The
shadow behind you rearranges itself and forms
an elegant curling script written in the darkness
itself. behind you. The words on the mirror writhe
and they flicker and shift every time that you
blink. As you lean in closer to the mirror and
begin to read the words, it says, Fate cannot
be avoided. Only accepted. Concerned, but not
too concerned. He's got to read it and just kind
of be like, yeah, this thing's just kind of happened
in life. So it's fine. Weird stuff has been happening
to Merrill for a long time. One would almost
say he's cursed. The words shift again, and it
says, Your magic, yet untrained, unstated. You
have been invited to join Brimstone's University
of Mystics. Well, never really got an acceptance
letter, though. That's probably the best news
I've ever heard in my life. Actually, that's
the only good news I have ever heard in my entire
life. The letters then, they begin to drip like
ink. They almost pool at your feet before you
before slithering up your arm and they form a
swirling mark on your wrist. The shadow pulls
away from the wall and it forms a portal that
yawns open behind you. The whole room lights
up with bright mystic magic. He's got to turn
away and he's got to walk towards the portal.
And then when he walks through the portal, as
soon as he's like completely inside the portal,
the mirror that he was staring into completely
shatters. And lays a little pile of dust on the
ground. And a little wispy black smoke comes
out of it. Nice little ad there. We like that
a lot. You know what? For the ad, take another
adversity token. Why not? Now you have two. That's
a good adversity token. Just because I don't
know what else to give and I think I love that.
Okay, we move away from the darkness side of
the city. We move to where somewhere it's a little
bit more warm. The air is warm. The wind rustling
gently through the trees. And as the camera pans
down to a nice little grassy knoll, we see Tilly.
What is Tilly doing? Tilly is reading a book.
I quite enjoy reading. It's one of my few moments
away from the family. I come from a rather large
family of mages and other scholarly fellows,
so I sneak off to the woods every so often just
to catch up on a lightly reading without any
interruptions. As you're reading, the wind suddenly
begins to pick up. The book that you're reading,
the pages on it begin to flurl. You're having
a hard time holding on to your book. and your
hair, and you're trying to keep everything together.
Not even a magic roll. I would like you to also
make me a grit roll. We'll call it just a four.
I got a five. As the wind whips up around you,
you hold on to your book. As you hold on to it,
how do you keep it close? Just hold it straight
to my chest, baby. We're going to hold it straight
up there. Very good. Very good. As you're standing
there, the leaves all around you that have fallen
off this tree swirl around you. in almost a violent
gust, but it's full of feathers and flower petals,
and it spins faster and faster. And the dry crackle
of the leaves grows louder, and as you hear this
crackle of leaves, it almost sounds like words,
like letters that are etched into the swirling
motion of the leaves themselves. As you stand
in the center of this leafy whirlpool, you hear
the words, your magic. It's too far, too far
chaotic for you to waste alone reading books.
Welcome to Brimstone's University of Magic. See
you soon. Must go tell father at once. As you
say that, the leaves explode outwards. And they
coat you in golden flecks of dust. And then the
ground beneath you completely... vanishes as
a portal appears where the ground once was, and
it pulls you, without a whim, straight into this
portal. Well... At this point, both Mero and
Tilly are pulled into the unknown, yanked forward
through twisting, shifting colors, until suddenly
you both hit the ground. Thud. I want you both
actually to roll me... flight ways to see how
well you come out of these portals. And we're
going to call it a difficulty of six. Seventeen,
darling. Mero got a three. And Tilly got a seventeen,
which is a huge success. So why don't you explain
to us how you gracefully emerge from this portal,
and then we'll let Mero explain how he... I mean,
you know the old saying, a dealing always lands
on its hooves. As we come to the bottom of the
portal, I kind of do a tuck and roll and a dainty
little trot out. And a flourish, as it were.
Incredible. All right, Miro, how do you emerge
from this portal? Right next to Tilly is a table
filled with fine china and books. And, like,
candles. And Mero comes out face first, straight
into the table, clears the table, and then hits
the wall on the other side of the table. Goodness,
are you all right? I'm fine. I've taken worse
falls. It's fine. Like, it's fine. Let me help
you. Let me help you up. Oh, my goodness. That
was quite the tumble you took there, darling.
Yeah. Am I on fire? Mero. Hello. I'm Mero Wilson.
Hello, I'm Tilly Lockwood. Tilly Lockwood. Nice
to meet you. You're quite tall. You're pretty
tall, antlers included. Yes, I suppose so. If
you measure the antlers, I do come to a good
four foot six. Wow, you're quite short. Shorter
than I expected. I actually finally stood up
off my legs and looking around. Did you get an
acceptance letter to the Magical College of Brimstone?
I did, yes. I believe this is what they call
trial by fire. Trial by fire? I thought I wasn't
on fire, though. You're not on fire, darling.
Sorry, slip of the tongue. You're going to have
to show me your ways. You sound like you lead
quite the adventurous life. Yeah, Tilly's quite
concerned at this point, so she's going to be
like, well, it's lovely to meet you. I can't
wait for us to start at the university. I think
this will be quite wonderful, and it's nice to
know that I'll have someone else at the same
level as me. Well, I guess we'll just have to
be classmates. Just don't stand too close. That's
usually how the falling anvils usually catch
the, you know, collateral damage on other people
around me. Uh, gonna have to get you... It's
like a law of physics around you. It's brilliant,
it sounds like. We cut away from you two. You
just entered into... The grounds here. We cut
away to a professor reading a book, standing
outside of the wandering wand shop. He's nervously
adjusting his too tight professor robes. As you
glare at your sleeves, a sharp sounds behind
you. As you turn to see Professor Kaldora Hexworth,
one of the school's senior faculty. She looms
over you. You know her to be strict, cold -eyed,
and she always smells faintly of ink and burnt
parchment. She never smiles. Thorn, you are not
here to make friends. You are here to ensure
that the students do not get themselves killed
before they reach the university gates. Do you
understand? Of course, that mistress would never
dare to go against your better judgment. Good.
The school... has provided funds for their supplies.
Do not let these children spend it all on ridiculous
nonsense. They need wands. They need robes and
books. They will not be spending it on exploding
candy and crazy pranks. Horsehead Mistress, I
would again know how much you implore the students
to have a sense of honor and dignity when enrolling
here at the Bum Universe. Correct. Bum holds
itself to the highest of standards. I know. This
is your first year here. Congrats to saving,
of course, the headmaster's granddaughter. Yeah.
Rewarding you the job. Of course. No small feat
on my part. I'm honestly just glad to have been
able to be of service to not only this prestigious
university, but darling young girl. Thorn, try
not to embarrass yourself and do a good job today.
If I may, headmistress, before you leave, these
two new students, I've never been given an assignment
like this. Are we sure that they're ready? The
word is that the headmaster is trying to recruit
those on the outside of the university, those
who have shown great potential with magic. We
do not know much about these students, but hopefully...
You can keep track of them. Keep an eye on them,
Thorn. I definitely will, headmistress. Thank
you for your faith in me. Can't let you down.
Good. And she begrudgingly hands you a small
leather pouch filled with gold coins. And she's
like, those are for the kids to buy their supplies.
And with that, she turns on her heels and disappears
into a swirling portal, leaving you alone. Soon
as she's gone, it's bitch. All right. Let's go
meet these stupid ass kids. As you say, stupid
ass kids, you turn to face the two students.
Hello, students. Would you like to introduce
yourselves? I am Professor Scoutmaster Wildthorne
of Bum University. I can't do this. I can't do
this. God dang it. Professor things new. You
both just got a weird letter, both got sucked
into a portal, and now you're just standing here
wondering, what's going on? Am I right? Yeah,
bad things happen to everybody. Apparently people
that have magic are just fucking weird, which
I think is bull. I'm sorry, I shouldn't cuss
in front of students. I think this guy is high.
I don't think he's a teacher. Let's just go ahead
and start introductions right again. Professor
Scoutmaster Wildthorn, and you. The lovely individual
with the heart of glow around them, with the
black under their eyes. What is your name? Oh,
hi, I'm Mero Wilson. Mero Wilson. All right,
Mr. Wilson. And you, my dear? Tilly Lockwood.
Tilly Lockwood, Miss Lockwood. So is anyone here
considered a, quote, adult in the race and or
people and or society in which one lives? Ah,
hello. Ah, ah, ah, perfect. All right, so you're
not children. Fantastic. That makes things so
much easier. I'm 22, if that matters. No, it
actually matters. Was it 20, 20, 20? Okay, perfect.
All right, we're in double digits, people. We
are just right here. I'm going to be real with
you guys, because I feel like, you know what?
I'm new to this thing, and I really don't care.
They want to teach you guys magic. Now you each
got your own little magic spark and you can do
things with it. Like for me, I'm here and I literally
like grab a piece of mud on the ground and like
just throw it right in the middle of my chest,
smother it all over me and muddy as hell. And
then I'll be like, and charm roll to get rid
of it. Like just going to. We'll call it a difficulty
roll of you're getting rid of mud. You've done
this before. Difficulty of four. Charm. Hey,
still a seven. That was a critical one. Wow.
Plus your magic die. Crits aren't a thing, and
critical ones aren't a thing, I don't believe.
Thank goodness, okay? So a seven. So it happens,
but it's not spectacular. The thing on myself,
it's weird. It's like the mud kind of like jumps
off of me, forms into like a little clay man,
looks at me, spits on the ground, and then falls
into a piece of mud. After Wildthorne does that...
You guys see behind him a bunch of fireworks
explode above the market district. And all of
you turn to look and see the marketplace. It's
a small street, but on this street, there are
multiple shops that just line it with a bunch
of little wooden signs on the outside stating
what they are and what's on the inside. Of course,
Scoutmaster Wildthorn has already been given
a site tour to help guide you guys through everything.
All right, kids. So again, sorry to have it.
All right, students. This is basically an agreement.
By signing this piece of paper and by coming
through the portal, you agree, but not exclusively
to become a student at Baum University. The last
thing I will say is that you have each been given
a stipend of gold from the university to buy
the necessary items for school. And this is what
I'm telling you. Now, again, you're adults. Go
buy whatever you want. If you want to stick to
the little shopping list. Yeah, just, here's
gold. Here. Go shopping. Meet back here when
you're done. I don't know. Do you want me to
come with you? Do you need, I'll come with you.
Why not? I don't know. Is that what I'm supposed
to do? Chaperone, chaperone, chaperone. Maybe
lay off the coffee, honestly. I've never really
been inside of a market before, but where would
you find a wand? First lesson at Bum University
is to open your eyes and look around. If you
look up to your left here, you'll see a sign.
And upon that sign, it says Wand Shop. There's
a sign, indeed, that says the Wandering Wand
Shop. As you guys follow, you get closer. It
does not look like much from the outside. It's
a wooden sign, kind of creaks in the wind. The
words Wands of Wonder, barely visible beneath
layers of old spellburns and arcane etchings.
As you guys get closer, the door opens on its
own. It was a lovely trick, Mero. How did you
do that? Been practicing. Uh, yeah. Did you notice
how Professor had three first lessons? This is
going to be a really hard college to attend.
I don't know. Did you also notice how Professor
had three first title names? He just got given
the job. Bad things happen to everybody. That
is true, darling. I feel like we need to work
on your self -esteem because, yes, bad things
happen to everybody, but you don't need to focus
on it. Well, you know. It could be worse. But
let's go and check out these wands. I'm really
excited. I want to see if they have a certain
one. All right. Choo -choo begin to step inside.
You smell the air, thick, a scent of ancient
wood. Miro, you follow behind Tilly as you step
in. I need you to make me a flight roll real
quick. Difficulty, four. Six. Early made it.
Very good. Oh, you actually... Your first die
was a lucky break. Congratulations. And then
you got a one on top of that. Plus you won. Very
good. This is my first successful dice roll.
You look behind you to see that there was a small
little creature that was living underneath the
welcome mat. And you almost stepped on it and
tripped. What kind of creature is it? Actually,
can I make the creature? Yeah, absolutely. It's
a tiny little fox ferret. Nice. As you guys step
completely inside, the air thick of wood and
dust, something electric, like the air before
the storm. The shop is narrow and impossibly
tall. As you look up to the ceiling, it seems
like it never ends with just stacks and stacks
of wands. Mero, you immediately notice and take
a step back as if to not. Lean on them or step
on them because you know your bad luck would
be a disaster here. Tilly, as you step in further,
the walls seem to breathe, lined with drawers
that occasionally rattles if something on the
inside is restless. There's a soft glow, kind
of hums from a floating spiral staircase. But
at the front desk, you're welcomed by an elderly
half -elf woman with piercing golden eyes. She
stands in almost absolute stillness. Darling?
Darling? The eyes follow me. It's really scary.
Are you unable to speak? Her hand comes up and
points directly at Miro, and she says, The wands,
they have already chosen you. What? Chosen me?
Come closer. That's usually not a good idea for
other people, but I will. As you step closer,
the shop seems to exhale. As the staircase creaks
above, there are unseen shapes shuffling in the
darkness, and the drawers along the walls begin
to rattle. Something slamming opening and shut
as if its hands are rifling through them. Something
is in panic, an invisible force. The woman tilts
her head towards Ymiru, her golden eyes narrowing
slightly, and for the first time she breathes
in. Then a sound, a deep, slow thud. From the
highest shelf, something falls. A simple, blackened
wand tumbles downward. clattering across the
wooden floor in complete silence, as if the very
air refuses to carry its sound. In the moment
the wand touches the ground, the room goes dark.
A deep chill spreads from the floorboards, tendrils
of black mist curling around your ankles. Mero,
the wand stops inches from your feet, shuddering
slightly as if resisting its own fate. The half
-elf says, Pick up your wand, Mero, if you dare.
It doesn't seem like I really have a choice at
this point. So sure. You'll be okay. Promise.
Professor Thorne says from outside the window,
used to this weird magic shit that happens 24
-7 around him. You'll be okay. Don't be a pussy.
Come on. Do you pick it up? I pick it up. You
reach down. And the moment you touch the wand,
a pulse of darkness explodes outwards, warping
the light in the room. Shadows stretch unnaturally,
pulling towards you. The entire shop itself lets
out a deep groan as if the wood itself is alive
and recoiling. But the wand burns cold in your
grip, way heavier than it should be. And a single
voice echoes in your mind, distant, ancient,
half lost to time. Two words. At last. Then the
shadows retreat, the warmth returns, and the
store snaps back into reality as if nothing happened.
And the woman, watching you carefully, presses
her lips together and says, That wand has been
waiting for a very long time. It's kind of really
cool. It looks like... It looks like it's burnt
peach wood. Peach wood was my mom's favorite
kind of trees. Nice. Please do continue explaining
your wand what it looks like. And as you get
down to the core and where the core meets the
shroud, there is a petrified pink tulip inside
of a crystal that gains and originates all of
its power from. Before she even elaborates on
what just happened to you, Mero, she turns to
Tilly. And she seems brighter, happier, as if
she was vibing off of your guys' emotions to
help pick out the wands. And she smiles for the
first time. She looks at you, Tilly. And she
says, Please. Please, go ahead. And she points
to the stacks and stacks of wands. All right.
I'll proceed forward. And... Step in between
these shelves. It feels a little claustrophobic.
All of them sit still. None of them moving. Some
of the boxes are open. There are some wands just
thrown all over the ground. There are wands up
and down and all around. There are drawers. Baskets.
Where would you start? Come on, Tilly, just let
you find your wand. Or... You find your one.
Mine came to me pretty easily. It should be the
same for you. Well, I think what I'll do, since
I do come from a line of mages, is that I'm going
to summon a bit of chaos magic into my hand and
see if anything's pulled towards it. Very cool.
This is going to be a magic roll. I want something
that will be strong. And courageous. And brave.
I want something that's willing to put up a little
bit of a fight. Nice. I love that. Okay, quickly.
Go on ahead and roll me a grit roll. A magical
grit roll. And you're also trying here to cast
magic. I'm not even going to see what the total
is yet. You're trying here to cast magic without
using a wand. So I'm going to call it a difficulty
of 14. Until he got a 10. Tilly got a 10, okay.
You do have adversity tokens you can spend, or
you can just take an adversity token and let
it be. Let it be. Okay. Go on ahead and take
an adversity token. Now, Tilly, as you reach
out and try to cast chaos magic in your hands
without even using a wand, the woman behind you
sees you doing this and thinks that it's very
strange. She gives you an odd kind of look. But
as you are doing this, instead of light, chaos
magic coming in your hand, you can see on one
of the very top sections of the wands, one of
the boxes begins to light up in this orangish,
pinkish color. And it just lights up and starts
pulsing. Do you have a ladder? Yes, of course,
of course. And she wanders off into the back.
You stand there for a few minutes. She doesn't
return. Where are these shelves? Can I just climb
them with my little hoovesies? You absolutely
can try. Be the adult in the room and stick my
head in and be like, let's not break or potentially
break thousands and thousands of gold pieces
worth of things. If you are needing something,
what, on the top? That up there? Yes. And I'm
going to, without a wand, reach up and just bring
it down. Perfect. Make me a charm magic roll
of six. You've done this before. This is just
force pulling something. It just happens. Super
easy. And again, without a wand. So, like, I
have my wand in my hand, but I use the other
hand to actually, like, just bring it down and
be like, what do you want me to do? As you...
Oh, lovely. You actually, you succeed on this.
You can explain what happens. Yeah, so it comes,
it kind of like, it starts to shudder a little
bit and like, you're like this, there's no way
this is going to work. And then it kind of pops
out and then starts to slowly, like a leaf, and
it leaves like a little bit of a green trail
behind it. And then it turns to orange and red.
And it lands in your hand. And a sense of warmth,
adventure, almost feels like it's talking to
you through, It's like giving you good vibes,
almost. Smells nice, too. Nice. As it lands in
your hand, would you like to explain to us what
it looks like? You know, I'm getting the vibe
from it that it's... Much like how Mero said
it was his mother's favorite wood, this is definitely
a maple wood, which is where I'm from. There's
plenty of maple trees. It's a strong, sturdy,
sweet -smelling wood. But what feels inside it
is a bit of a ferocious animal. A lion's mane.
Ruled by the sun. My little chaos baby. As you
ponder over your wand for a minute, you guys
start walking back towards the front of the store.
Scoutmaster Professor Wildthorn. After you help,
Tilly, you look to your left to see the wand
shop owner. Witnessed you casting magic without
a wand here on the university premises. And she
looks at you. Very, very confused. The legends
are true, I know. Anyway. Are you the first year
professor? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Yes. Yes. I
am Professor Scoutmaster Wildlord. Wow. I am
Madame Tevra. You cast magic without a wand?
Oh. I mean, no, I mean, yes, I mean, it's...
It's complicated. I live and breathe wands, and
this is disturbing news. Please leave. No, I
totally used my wand. You most likely just saw
a shadow. It's totally what happened. Listen,
I will pay you so much gold if you will keep
your mouth shut. I am not even kidding. I will
pull her in close and like, listen, how much
gold do you want? Like, listen, please do not
tell anyone what you saw here. I will literally
just like, how much? I do not need gold, but
my silence will remain. But if... For now. You
own it. Again, I'm going to buy that silence
if you let me. I do not need gold. But of course,
we must remove the tokens from the students by
today. She pulls out her wand and she flicks
it. And you can feel the sack get a little bit,
you know, lighter. And she goes, continue to
bomb university. I will keep my silence. But
you have not heard the last of Madame Terva.
Yes, madam, of course. If I may say, um... Madame.
Yeah, madame, if I may say. How do I put this
lightly? Things are changing, and hopefully for
the better. Yes. Yes. She scoots you three into
the door, and she shuts it behind and locks it,
and she just stands there in that same still
face that she had before. Uh... Professor? Yes,
Mr. Wilson. Is everybody so creepy around here?
Okay. Listen, the university is going to be an
experience. You're going to learn a lot. You're
going to get a lot. There's going to be a lot
of information thrown at you quickly. I'm going
to tell you what. The first few days are going
to be a little stressful. You're going to have
a lot of questions. I'll let you know. I will
be right beside you. Professor, are we bad people?
No. Society just unfortunately has not been kind
to you and given you the tools that you need
to succeed. However, we're hoping at the university
we give you those tools so you can better make
use of your abilities. I'm doing my best here
to sound like a professor, guys. Like, listen,
go get brooms, baby! And as I point, they'll,
in a quick moment, they'll see my wand. It looks
like it was once probably really, really pretty.
Like probably the most ornate and beautifully
carved wand of like this lilac and it's beautiful.
Like, but it's all cracked now and it's all chipped
and it looks very worn and shitty. But if you
look super, super close, you'll see like this
little crack of gold going all the way down.
I'm going to give you an adversity token for
finding a way to organically introduce your wand
to everybody. Very good. We love that. As you
point upwards, all of you guys look to see another
shop with another sign, this time in the shape
of a broom, and the words on said broom say,
swept away. As you read those two words, out
from the doors with the ching -a -ling -a -ling
of the bell is a broom. Nobody on it. It goes
out of the shop and starts running into people.
and taking people's hats as if magically attaching
to their hats and flying around the whole shopping
district with it, trolling everybody. And it
zooms right past all three of you and it takes
Wildthorn's hat right off of his head. It is
now attached to the broom that is zipping around
the shopping district. All right. Well, that
is unfortunate. I was trying to not have my hair
come out today, but here we are. What's the shop
owner's name, if I may ask? Would I go ahead,
would I go ahead and know who that is? His name
is Bixley. B -I -X -L -E -Y. And you tell me
if you would know. Bixley. And I am going to
look up. I am not in the mood today. Not today.
Okay, not today. Any other day? Sure. Not today!
As you said, you hear chaos coming from the inside
of his shop. But I want you to make me a charm
roll. It's going to be a little difficult. We'll
make it a 12 to see if you can get his attention
and get him to listen. Oh. Oh. A one and a two
right back to back. He doesn't listen. Professor
Scoutmaster Wildthorn, you fail. So take an adversary
token. And he does not listen. Um, he doesn't
hear you. There's something else going on that
is stopping him from being able to do these things.
You three now stand in this area as everyone's
hats are stuck to a broom flying around the shopping
district. Wildthorn went, Marrow, do try anything
with your brand new wand. I'm trying to, like,
catch it as it's going by, and then, like, I
want to, um, I'm going to try and cast, like,
a net upon it. Kind of like a little shadowy
net on it. But I don't know how well that would
work, if it would work. We could leave that up
to the dice, huh? A net, but a shadowy net. I
like that. You've never cast anything like this
before, so it's going to ramp up the difficulty
a little bit. But since this is kind of like
an attack net, we're going to make you do a brawn
magic roll, and we're going to make it a difficulty
of nine. That's a nine. Exactly. Congratulations.
That's good. That means you succeed barely. Tell
us what happens. When it's flying back and forth,
the magical shadowy net actually just kind of
pushes it into a tree and it gets stuck in the
branches and stuff. And then with all the hats,
it's all stuck on twigs and stuff. So it's like
trying to fly away, but it's all the hats are
keeping it in place. And the broom. I feel like
you guys watching can see that the broom seems
sad and upset and now as if a creature stuck
in a net is wiggling. And if it could, it would
whine and scream. It's the darkness net just
entraps it. And you've never been taught before,
Mr. Wilson? No, I spent a lot of time just isolated
in my room. It was safer that way. Real quick,
and this... Just for my own curiosity, do animals
ever come and whisper to you in the middle of
the night and tell you deep, dark, horrible things
about your existence and or the future? No. I
mean, sometimes like ghostesses and poltergeists
will do that, which is like fine. Animals usually
just tend to try and eat me, bite me, scratch
me, sting me. So that's that's usually what animals
try to do to me. And you have answered my third,
fourth and fifth question. Thank you. As the
broom is stopped, you gander over and get your
hat. Wildthorn, everyone else gets their hats.
You guys leave the broom there attached to the
tree and you step into the broom store. Inside
this shop, it's not just a store. It's kind of
an experience. Brooms of all shapes, sizes, and
even personalities zip through the air without
order. Some of them jousting with each other.
Some performing aerial tricks and others lazily
floating upside down, just what seems like napping.
The walls, of course, are covered in advertisements,
hand -painted signs that shift their messages
every few seconds. Why walk when you can fly?
30 % off first -time flyers, unless you crash.
Brooms, not just for wizards, also witches, thieves,
and overly dramatic rich people. Of course, there's
no counter. There's just a... massive glowing
chalkboard that updates itself magically with
the words as you step in. If you break it, you
buy it. They just go into a Bix sporting goods.
So you say that behind the chaos stands Bixly
Gear Whistle. He's a gnome with frizzled hair
and he has flying goggles perched on his forehead.
His leather jacket is tightly singed and his
gloved hands are just covered in soot. And Bixly
himself is in mid -argument. And as you guys
turn the corner, he's not yelling at a person,
but he's yelling at a sentient broom, which is
currently trying to strangle him with its bristles.
Hey, fucking get off me! No, you can't get off
me! Oh, yeah! New customers! Hey, hold on one
minute. Oh, stop that! No biting. No biting.
Okay? Okay. We're good. And with a final shove,
he hurls the broom across the shop where it angrily
flutters off to sulk in a corner. He dusts himself
off and looks right at you three. And he goes,
welcome in to swept away, the finest, most temperamental
broom emporium in the city. You break it, you
bought it. And if it breaks you, hey, it's just
part of the learning experience. We got some
new students and a professor. How you doing,
Wildhorn? You knocked off my hat. Or should I
say Cynthia the broom? knocked off my hat oh
yeah she's in the tree downstairs she okay she's
fine everyone's mad at you again oh right they
do that a lot it's hard to keep rooms you know
they're all so bipolar they just like to run
around it's like herding brooms you ever heard
that yeah Yeah, yeah. But anyway, yes, two new
students. They need to buy brooms, and I'm here
to pick up mine that should be done being the
thing that we talked about added. Anyway, yeah,
I'm here to pick it up. Hopefully, we'll see.
But first, Bixly claps his hands. And suddenly,
the brooms all start wandering around like as
if walking on their bristles, and they're all
like eyeballing you guys up and down. Do you
take internships? This place is lovely. I hate
it here. It's so chaotic. It's too messy. Chaos,
you say? Well, you've come to the right place.
Swept away is nothing more than chaos in any
way I say. We live by the skin of our teeth,
don't we? But around here, you don't even need
teeth. In the broom circle. And then a small,
compact broom. suddenly zooms out from the pack,
vibrating with barely contained energy. And it
begins doing circles around you, Tilly, all the
way around your head and nudging you excitedly
before flipping upside down in midair and shaking
itself like a dog wanting its belly to be pet.
I'm going to heed that call. I'm going to give
it a fine stroke and go, oh, look at you, you
little devil. Bixly, of course, chuckles and
he goes, oh! Oh, you've got a hyper one, of course.
That's a really good one. I sometimes call it
the Storm Chaser 3000. Built for speed, no patience
for standing still, but I do hope you like turbulence.
Anyways, you can tell us what it's made out of
and what bonuses it gives you, because we did
that during character creation. So do I remember
what it does? No, because it's the one thing
my roll chart didn't save. But it is called the
Daredevil Duster, and it's a flashy broom. It's
flashy. It's my sweet baby. It's going to...
Listen, we're going to get along lovely. After
that, nothing moves. All the other brooms seem
to back away slightly as if hesitant to be chosen
by Mero. The room goes eagerly still. Even Bixly
looks at his brooms like, What's going on? You
guys never behave this way. Then, a slow creaking
sound. And from the darkest corner of the shop,
you hear a squeak as a couple of sneakers slowly
rise into the air. Unlike the others, they don't
zip around like brooms or try to show off. Instead,
the sneakers drift forward, silent, weightless,
as if moving through water rather than air. The
sneakers are a deep black, almost charred, and
the laces are unnaturally still. Because you
see, sneakers like this have long since forgotten
how to be sneakers. But Bixley's grin fades in
this moment. He sees the sneakers, and he goes,
Oh. Those ones, huh? I think they look rather
nice shoes. I don't ever really get nice shoes.
Can't afford them. The sneakers finally reach
you, Mero, and they hover in front of you, unmoving.
And then its laces, they twitch ever so slightly.
And you hear something. A whisper. Not out loud.
Not in the room. Once again, in your head. As
if the sneakers are talking to you. And the sneakers
say, We ride together now. What in the chariot
gang? Motorcycle gang? Okay. Uh, sure. Uh, wait,
shoes? Shoes? Can I not have a broom? Bixly scratches
his head. And he says, Well, usually, brooms
just kind of, you know, they pick the people
they want to have. And I'm going to tell you,
if the sneakers picked you, then I guess you
got the sneakers. We haven't flown around on
these kind of sneakers in a long, long time.
I mean, brooms came in and sneakers went out,
you know. These are just left over. Might help
with your tricky feet, though, Mero. You got
a bit of the stumbly feet. These might help you
float over obstacles. Maybe. If you've got something
controlling your feet, you better treat them
well, because... Well, it's not like I'm going
to walk all over them or anything. Yeah, you're
pretty funny. Serious moment, though. We call
these the Night Whispers. They don't usually
pick anyone, these sneakers. But it's probably
fine. Yeah, yeah. Definitely, definitely fine.
It's all good. Oh, Night Whisperer sneakers.
You're so smart. Oh, thanks. I mean, I'm not
a professor like you, you know, just running
a shop. Oh, yeah, totally, because I'm a professor.
But for real, do you take internships? Can I
work here on the weekends? This place is brilliant.
Well, absolutely, but you got to bring in a resume,
so. Yeah, sure. All right, settled. The moment,
Mero, that you reach out to touch the sneakers,
the temperature around the room drops and the
air grows thin. weightless okay you're already
in mid -flight and everyone stares at you as
you touch the sneakers what do you do mero kind
of like engulfed in the sneakers and just kind
of hearing like faint whispering sounds but nobody
else can hear it and it's not really actual words
it's just like So he's like trying to kick off
his like really, really tattered boots that you
could see have holes in them. And like his toes
were sticking out of. And then he goes to put
on the sneakers and just kind of like once he
puts them on, it goes quiet. All right, then.
Moving on. Wild Thorn. That's right. You know,
you is the professor. I gave you my broom. I'm
here to pick it up. Right. You know, well, I'm
supposed to be reliable for you. Yeah. You know,
and I know you wanted me to add things. Just
the one thing. Just that one thing. It was that
little enchantment that, like, whenever I'm riding
on it, my hair just kind of, like, naturally
blows when I'm holding it, you know, to, like.
Right, right, right. So, yeah, we did get that.
But the thing is, it may have changed your broom
a little bit. It's personality. It's a little
bit off. It's a little bit off. Anyways, come
on. Come on out. Come on! You know who you're
here for. Calls out to the back, and then this
broom walks on its bristles. And you reach out
to grab it, and the broom jerks back away from
you, Wildthorn. You step forward, it scoots away.
What do you do? I'm going to have to have to
have words with Big Sly. What, what, why, why
is my broom mad at me? Oh, buddy, well, it seems
that... We gave your hair, you know, your broom
a fancy hair enchantment and may have turned
it into a rebel rider, you know? Uh, it turns
out that's what you want, right? No. Oh. I wanted
my broom that I gave you. Well, we can keep the
hair enchantment if you want. Um, get you something
else, you know? Maybe a fancy, um... Mop? I'm
very confused. I gave you my broom. I know. I
needed one magical enchantment added to it. God.
And now I'm coming to pick up the broom, and
it is no longer my broom. It is now altered.
Yes. It seems that you've got the situation all
figured out. You know exactly what's happening
here. It's pretty crazy, right? You said if I
break it, I buy it, correct? That's what the
chalkboard said. Oh, yeah, sure. I'm going to
point my wand at a rack of brooms, and they are
all going to snap. Fucking shit. And as they
do, I'm going to reach into my pocket, drop a
giant sack of gold on the counter. Now. Okay,
well, I need you to make me a brawn roll first.
Sure. This is a violent one with a couple of
brooms, you say. Yeah, I was just gonna, like,
literally knocking a shelf over in anger. Um,
if you're just knocking a shelf over, we can
just make it a brawn roll of eight. Yeah, I know
it's a spell. Yeah. Ooh, seven. It is a seven,
and I will use one of my adversity tokens to
succeed. First one of the game. Tell us how this
shelf falls over. So this seems to be a group
of brooms that are not yet enchanted, or at least
they are in the process. Like they are fresh,
like just regular brooms that have yet to have
the imbued of personality and magic. And just
out of sheer anger, like I. Kind of point the
wand, but it almost like I barely even tilt it
before the shell starts vibrating and literally
all of the broom's bristles start to just shake
away and then fall over to the ground as if slowly
decaying. I'll be like, that broom was older
than anyone. That broom was over 500 years old.
Shit. May I take a look? I have a way with wood,
as it were. What means, Miss Tilly? Don't be
talking all weird like that in front of your
future potential employer. I'm from the forest.
I'm known to old wood. Right, you're a deer.
Yeah, no, you're right. I got that all mixed
up. Look, I'm flustered right now. Usually I'm
really good with brooms and things. And maybe
it's because... of how old it was, and then I
gave it a facelift, and now it's young again.
So, it's got young brain, old broom. Let us see,
because listen, even a young brain, even young
sprouts come out of an old tree. Let's see if
we can't reason with it. I would like to actually
try to perform a little bit of magic to try and
reason with the broom. It is a sentient broom,
after all, and the oldest wood is always a bit
sentient. And since I'm from a place with lots
of old magic wood, I'd like to think that I have
a connection. I would say, like, as I communicate
it, come now. You are not being rejected for
being old. I know we all feel different about
growing older and maybe going back. and repressing
in our emotions. You might feel betrayed, but
know that Wild Thorn loves you just as much as
they always have. Just because they helped you
upgrade a bit doesn't mean that you're showing
your age. You're still young and as vibrant as
ever. Well, this is an important role because
now you might also be impressing your future
employer, but it's still going to be a charm
role. But it's not too bad. We're going to make
it a difficulty of six. So it's a little difficult,
but it's not impossible. It's only a four. Do
you want to spend some adversity tokens? I'll
spend two. I'll spend two adversity tokens. And
then explain to us what happens as you cast your
magic and you succeed. So as I do, as I coo and
pet the broom and let it know, I reach out and
I go, Wild Thorn, darling, may I have your hand?
And I take Wild Thorn's head and I guide it to
the broom and be like, see there, darling. Wild
Thorn still loves and cares about you. The broom
is going to start to grow a little bit warmer
and kind of shake a little bit and just slowly
but surely gravitate towards Wild Thorn. Nice.
So as it like locks into me, it's weird. All
of a sudden, for a brief moment, it looks like
my arm is the broom and my hand and everything
is merged and like binds and flowers. And it's
the most beautiful thing that you've ever seen
in terms of nature. But you blink and it's gone.
You are so beautiful. 50 % off all around. That's
what I'm hearing. It seems to me that you came
in here and I did mess up something or the other.
What I was going to do is just not charge you
at all there, Wildhorn, for all your troubles.
Um, right. I was going to pay you the same amount
anyway. I was just going to pay double if needed.
I hate everything that you stand for, and every
single time I see you, I want to scream and cry.
Awfully dramatic. Yeah, let's keep on this face,
right? Yeah, let's pretend. Anyways, my dear
Ling friend, that was very impressive, what you
just did there, calming down the brooms. I don't
know if I've ever been able to do something like
that, you know? Yeah, so definitely bring back
a resume. We'll see what we can do. Maybe some
school credit, you know, could be in it for you.
Especially because I just lost out on a whole
lot of money enchanting a broom. I'll tell you
about that later. Didn't go well. Anyways, off
you pop. Goodbye. Don't forget, Cynthia's out
downstairs still, stuck in a net. Oh, right.
All right, and as you guys begin to leave, you
hear a lot of commotion, and it almost sounds
like Bixly begins yelling at the brooms for their
behavior. He's, like, mad at them, but they continue
to fly around and don't listen to him at all.
It's like as if there was 500 puppies in a room,
and you're yelling at the puppies to behave,
but they don't understand that command. You just
need to know how to talk to your wood, darling.
I will turn to the students in this moment and
be like, students, I wanted to teach you a lesson.
You need to study. You need to learn. You need
to know exactly what you do with your magic.
Otherwise, I'm going to point back to the shop.
and there's like crashing and shattering and
things are like dust is coming and it's just
you know before you go out into the world and
try to like get people's money maybe know at
least something of what you're doing like you're
supposed to be a businessman that works in brooms
you can't handle a simple enchantment that okay
anyway getting off chat i say that cynthia the
broom looks very sad yeah Like, really, really
sad. Now, you guys continue forward. You're walking
towards what Wildthorne knows as Familiar's Alley.
And, of course, it's not where Wildthorne expects
it to be. It's not a grand store with a sign
hanging above the door. It's not even in this
main shopping district, nor is it really even
advertised anywhere. But, as you guys are walking,
once again, I need Mero. to make me a flight
check this time difficulty of 12. yeah oh wrong
one it was your flight not good that's a two
it's a two oh underneath your feet darts a small
ferret fox on fire it darts through your feet
it knocks you down to the ground flat on your
butt and your new flying shoes flutter in anger
as they're almost caught on fire you have to
look to see the flaming fox ferret dart down
a narrow twisting alleyway to your right. And
a second later, a small flock of pastel colored
birds fluttered past. singing in a language that
no one quite understands, but it's definitely
not bird chirps that you're doing. Then the wind
shifts, and a feel veal of golden mist rolls
across the ground, revealing a space that wasn't
there a second ago. Between two ordinary buildings
stands a shimmering archway of floating lanterns.
Their warm glow casts soft dancing patterns on
the stone. Through the archway, the air kind
of changes, as you can see. It's warmer in there,
and it's alive with movement, but not people,
animals. Monsters. Familiars. And here you will
find your familiar. This will be your pal, your
friend, the thing that can never leave your side
because guess what? If something were to happen
to it, you will learn the ability to resummon
it at your disposal. Isn't that fun? I have one,
Professor. Of course. And I will, out of nowhere,
just without a wand, just kind of like grab the
air and just kind of pull. And it's like this
little rip happens and floating out of it. in
this perfect sphere of water is a little fish
a little it's like a blue and A black and kind
of white patterned fish. It's a beta, and it's
in a little ball of floating water that just
kind of hovers near my head and kind of around.
Like, this is Billy. Billy the beta. I've known
Billy for at least 30 years, and gosh, love having
them around. Oh, look at you, you little fella.
You're quite charming. You can reach into the
water. He is ticklish, of course. May I? Of course
you can pet the fish. Absolutely brilliant. Yeah,
absolutely. Sticking my finger in that wet mess.
That's happening. I would say he probably like
giggles and like kind of rolls around whenever
Tilly touches him. And as soon as Mero touches
him, he just kind of goes. He likes you. No,
I will say, in terms of, like, reading your two's
magic vibes, like, that's a good thing. He didn't
throw up or die, so we love that. Jeez. Is that
a normal thing that happens? Oh, no, Billy has
died multiple times. As you guys step forward,
the alley in front of you is long, winding, and
impossibly deep, stretching further than the
city should allow. Floating, wooden stalls and
makeshift carts line the way, each brimming with
creatures both wondrous and bizarre. As you step
further inside, you can see a stall filled with
crystal glowing frogs. each one croaking in perfect
harmony there's a massive sleepy owl wearing
reading glasses it seems to be offering advice
to the other animals and creatures of course
there's a small cluster of foxes with two tails
each yipping at a merchant trying to hurry their
dinner there's a snake with feathered wings a
basket of just black kittens of course the air
here is full of the smell of lavender and hay
as if someone's trying to cover up the smell
of the animals at the heart of it all a colorful
tint billows in an unseen breeze covered in patchwork
fabric with the tiny blinking eyes that are sewn
into the seams and a gnarled wooden sign swings
above the entrance it says familiars and friends
pick carefully and stepping out from the tent
is a tall gangly woman with silvered hair that's
wrapped up in an elaborate nest of braids at
the entrance of this thing and she steps forward
and says hello my name is mistress periwinkle
You notice she has one single large owl -like
eye in the center of her forehead that does not
blink. Miss Periwinkle, it is always a pleasure
and a privilege to be in your space. I have two
students here that are looking to find their
first familiars as they begin their journey.
You do not. Pick the familiar. The familiar picks
you. Well, yes. Yes, of course. Respect your
craft and all. Billy like her. She's actually
like really legit. Like one of the only legit
people that are on this like run. So like. So
does that mean we can go pick a familiar now?
Yes. Take a gander. Oh, it's like a petting zoo.
You say that. You step forward, Mero. At first,
everything seems fine. I step closer? As you
step closer, the other creatures step back. Take
it like another sad step forward. And they all
step back. On this second step, a flicker of
movement. From the deepest corner of the alley,
where the lanterns burn just a little bit dimmer,
something stirs. A small, wiry creature slinks
forward, moving with the weight of something
ancient, despite its tiny size. Is it a black
cat? Is it a crazy -looking creature? As it steps
forward, its mouth opens wide. Thousands and
thousands of little teeth and eyes dangling off
of its body, and it lunges at you. But as it
does, from the shadows, fiery ferret fox. jumps
from the other side and tackles this weird creature
to the ground. And with a yip, it slinks back
off into the darkness. The fiery fox ferret sits
at your feet, waggling its 50 fiery tails, looking
up at you. Thanks, little dude. And it jumps
up onto your arm. And for a second, your sleeves
catch fire, but you pat it out. And as it goes
further up, it's like fire, but also not fire.
Almost like a magical fire that has no effect
as it sits on your shoulder. What? We're going
to have to figure out a name for you, little
guy. The creature has picked its owner. We love
this. When this happened, congratulations. A
very, very rare creature, too. The only one we
have. Well done, Mr. Wilson. Well done, indeed.
Give you a second to pick. Tilly, what are you?
do i'm going to actually use one of my strengths
that i have uh and i have wild speak that i can
communicate with any species that i have knowledge
of uh and i'm i'm going to just essentially be
able to you know i'm going to just sit on the
ground and see who comes to me as soon as you
sit down almost immediately actually there's
like a Blur. Fur. Energy. Launches itself from
one of the perches. It's like a small, chaotic,
and moving too fast to be identified kind of
animal. It circles around you, Tilly. Just flurrying
up your robes. And then, hopping onto your head,
and then back down, and then back on your head,
and then back down, and a second later, it vanishes
in a puff of smoke. Only to reappear on a nearby
shelf, laughing. It's got brown fur, a wet, black
nose. And its fur, yeah, sure, is constantly
changing between blue and brown and amber. And
its eyes twinkle mischievously, as if it knows
the secrets about the universe, but it refuses
to share them. It wiggles its nose, and then
it casts Minor Illusion, filling the air with
tiny dancing lights, and jumps off the shelf,
through the lights, and into your lap. It is
a capybara with little fairy wings. Oh, look
at you, you little potato. Oh, my. Goodness.
Oh, and I'm immediately going to go in for belly
scratches. I'm going to just give belly scratches
as much as I can. Ah, yes. A troublemaker. Very
fitting. The capybara blinks up at you. I like
her. She's got moxie. Scratching at moxie, you
say? Yes. I mean, look at her. She's a little
lump, but she's ferocious. Aren't you ferocious?
Yes, you are. The capybara blinks up at you,
grins. And then with a dramatic flourish of its
tiny little paws, it bows deeply before climbing
inside of your robes as if it had always belonged
there. It looks like I'm taking this little lady
home. That's what's happening today. Very good.
Very good. You have chosen. Do you students have
names for your familiars? Of course. To keep
them and take them out of familiar alley, you
must name them first. I mean, she's got Moxie.
I think Moxie's a fairly good name. Oh, Moxie.
Very good. Mr. Wilson. We're going to name ours
Kitsu. Very cute. Is there a reason behind your
naming? Uh, I don't know. It's just kind of what
it spoke to me. Oh, very good. Very good. Wildthorne,
you have your own familiar already. Yes. You
know, Billy, of course, the beta. I don't know
how to... I'm going to kind of like try to bring
her a little bit to the side, but not be really
good at being subtle. He seems to be growing.
I don't know what that means, but he seems to
be getting a bit bigger. I sense magic in your
fish. Yes, I've sensed it, too. It's been growing
on me. Either way, I'm sure it's nothing. But
thank you. And of course, make sure you pay.
You're welcome. Yes. She gets real close to Billy
the Beta, almost like puts her nose in the bubble
of water. And then she stares at it. Billy the
Beta stares back. And then with one large, dramatic
blink, Billy the Beta, absolutely for no reason,
actually, that you don't even connect the two,
maybe, your robes turn bright pink. Well, how
about that? Actually, I kind of like this color.
Lovely. It is decided. Familiar likes you. You
dog. All right. So, students, let's see here.
Take a look -see. Because, again, vibes are everything
when it comes to magic. We have our wands looking
stunning. We have our brooms fabulous. We have
our familiars. The whole package deal. You look
like a wizard. A magic person. I think it's time.
You take these students to the university, Mr.
Thorne. Do you remember the way? Of course I
do. Unfortunately, they burn it into our minds
with a spell when we get past professors. We
can't lose our way. So, thank you. You're welcome.
As you guys begin to leave, the golden mist rolls
in again, and the lanterns dim one by one, and
by the time you reach Main Street, the alley
is gone, as if it had never been there before.
But as you stand there, the ground beneath your
feet rumbles. Also, do they realize how silly
of an acronym their university is? No, you'll
see. Oh, it's unironic. Yeah, no, they legitimately
think it's a good name. Listen, this is my first
year teaching here. I have no loyalty to these
people. I mean, I kind of do. It's weird. As
you're leaving... The ground begins to rumble
beneath your feet. Shop signs sway. A potion
bottle falls inside of a shop and shatters and
bubbles with unnatural energy. A bystander mutters,
Yeah, that's the third one this month. Probably
nothing. And he continues walking past you guys.
Wildthorn, you then lead these guys to the entrance
to the university. Of course, it's a ways away
from the shopping district. Walks you guys to
the center of the marketplace. You can see here
there is a giant golden and marble fountain in
the center of the marketplace. Water spills from
the mouths of what seem to be enchanted stone
lions as they walk around the fountain and spit
water back into the fountain as they glow faintly
with magic. As you guys approach, a small elderly
wizard with glasses, way too big for his face,
approaches you guys mumbling. An incantation.
Wildthorn, you know that this man will cast the
spell to open up the portal in the fountain to
get you to the school. All you have to do is
say the code word to transport. Uh -oh. As we
approach, I will say, pay attention, students.
This is the entrance to our lovely university.
At least one of the ones mainly known to everyone.
To enter, you simply approach the fountain. This
is the Samuel. And you just say the incantation
with your wand. I really love being a bum. Is
that what we're going? Diagonally. You know what
I mean? All right. I really love being a bum.
All right. Listen, I don't make the passphrases.
This is, this is. Why do I feel like someone
named Jack Cole Jones made the password? Awesome.
But he definitely had fun with it. All right.
As you say, before you even get to respond to
them, because you say, I love being a bum. And
then without warning, the water from the fountain
rises and it curls around you, Wild Thorn, like
liquid threads. And then the next moment you
vanish in a splash, leaving these two. by themselves.
You want to go next? Meryl, I think you should
go next. That way I can make sure if you don't
get through, at least I can give you a push from
behind. Okay. We're going to try and give it
our best. All right. I'm going to need you to
make, this is transport. I'm going to need you
to make me a flight roll. Difficulty six. It's
easy. Since whenever you do magic for the first
time, it's a little bit more difficult. And then
as you learn it and you've done the spells before,
it becomes easier. So, I mean, like just transporting
to the school shouldn't be this difficult. But
since you've never done it before, it's a little
hard. So say it and wave your wand. I love being
a bum. And the water swirls out of the fountain
around your feet in a circle of water. And then
in a splash, you're gone until he's by herself.
And the old man's like, you're going to go? You're
going to go? All right, I'm going home. No. I
mean, yes, if you want to be sweet. Got my magic,
I'm bouncing. I've got my equipment, I'm going
home. Did you hear? No, I really love being a
bum. As you say that, the water comes out, engulfs
you in a splash, you're gone. And then, in a
thump. All three of you arrive, one at a time,
right in front of Brimstone University. The first
thing you feel is the crackling energy in the
air, thick, again, like the moment before a lightning
strike. The air in this whole area, in this quad
of this school, is filled with magic. and the
ground beneath you you can see is ancient stone,
yet it almost seems like it's alive as it pulses
faintly below your feet. And before you stands
Brimstone's University of Mystics, a fortress
of twisting spires and ancient bridges and staircases
and staircases that move on their own accord.
The walls, of course, are lined with glowing
runes, shifting and rearranging as if whispering
secrets. Above the entrance, floating letters
spell out today's announcement. Welcome new students.
Please avoid the bar. bottomless pit. And, standing
right behind you, as if he'd always been there,
is Headmaster Brimstone, the 39th. He's a tall,
wiry, and grinning man that looks like he knows
every single secret of the universe, and his
robes are half -burned, and he appears to have
misplaced his staff again, but he appears behind
you instantly and says, Eh! Wonderful! You've
made it! I must admit, I had some doubts. Took
you a while to get here, didn't it? What's Headmaster?
Uh, very interesting group this year. Say the
least. And then as you look away for one second,
he appears behind Mero and says, Well, I assume
I should get on with it, shall we? Indeed. Looks
like we have a cool class this year. And again,
he appears way too close, like face on face with
Tilly. He's like, I say we go into the school.
What do you say? After you, good sir. Is this
one deaf? You're caught in the headlights. I'm
scared. Oh, she's scared. Quill! He takes a step
back and he dances and spins as his robe just
flurls in the wind, revealing his bare feet.
He's not even wearing shoes as he dances on the
ancient stone. He claps his hands in the two
large golden gates open to the entrance of Brimstone
University. And he says, welcome to the first
day of the rest of your lives.