Hello one and all and welcome back to Metal Omnicon!
Tonight is episode four. I am your chaotic dungeon master Turk
and I will be the one leading the band through all of the shenanigans tonight.
That's right and as I said it's not only me here but of course I'm also joined with the band.
Say hello band!
Hello band!
That's right!
Hello band!
I'm here with Proudius, Connor and Emmy.
Hello Proudius, how was your day?
Day is good. It's almost my birthday.
It is.
It's-
Yay!
On Thursday-
Yes, I'm doing great.
Shout out everybody. Follow Proudius over there on their channel.
They're doing the freaking stream for their birthday on Thursday.
That's right.
And Connor!
Hello!
I'm having a great day.
Emmy, how was yesterday?
Yes!
Yesterday was fantastic.
Had the double-O here for the weekend.
We got to hang out, take a ride in his 57 Chevy, enjoy the weather, got some ice cream.
It was awesome.
Dude, what the fuck?
That sounds awesome.
God.
A little bit of update time.
First of all, my mustache falls during stream because it's hot in here and mustache wax gets hot
and then that's the way it works.
Secondly, because of scheduling and other kinds of things we will be doing 11 episodes of Metal Omnicon.
Alright, 11.
Put that in your storybooks.
Alright, and if you'd like to check out our schedule you can check out on our website,
thegroundscoutcher.com.
It's a sub-domain, there's no www.
Thank you for that information.
Love you, Steve.
Yes.
Secondly, here's a little bit of a teaser.
We have big plans for the next season of The Groundscouts.
We're going to be doing a very fun improvisational show taking on guests and doing other kinds of things
and it's going to be a part of the main fucking show.
Here's the only hint that you get.
We have a couple different names as works in progress.
Progress, alright.
We've got ImprovQuest and Random Encounters.
Those are the two work in progress names that we're talking about here, okay.
So just be excited for that.
It's going to be happening soon-ish.
Alright, hey, everybody also watching on YouTube, fucking subscribe, dude.
If you're watching episode four then you enjoy the show.
So fucking subscribe, dude.
And if you're listening here on Spotify, rate the show, alright.
Just do it.
We have a lot of listeners here on Spotify but none of y'all have rated the show.
There's five ratings and it was from the crew.
So do me a favor and rate the show.
Thank you.
Yo party people and paranormal punks, it's your spectral bro, Cranium Carl here to break
down the latest chaos from Metal Omnicon.
So strap in because last episode was a riot of ghost goblins and some truly gnarly tunes.
So the curl is hanging in this underground dwarven bar, right.
A radical joint run by anti-racism dwarves that call themselves Dart.
And Roger, dude's educating the crowd on three ways to get titties.
Yeah, you heard that right.
Boop jobs, hormones, or his fave, pumping iron till you kind of sorta got cleavage, dude.
The dwarves are dying laughing.
Thinking he's a total nut job.
But loving him enough to let them sign his foreheads.
Meanwhile, Anaka's hustling band merch she's whipping up by astral projecting into other
universes.
She's finding rad designs and slapping them on tees right there in the bar.
And Eon, well, she's at the bar with Ziggy the dwarf,
reminiscing about their past life in Mortalis.
Talk about a monster hunter reunion.
But it's not all fun and games.
Our band's rolling in dough and chaos.
Anaka's making bank off of Charisma and Roger's trying to fund his own boob job by charging
for autographs.
And Eon, well, she hustles a troll at chess, pocketing a cool tenner.
Post-bar, they meet Mr. Johnson at their notorious gas station.
You know, the one where Roger left the attendant kinda walkin' funny.
And boom, they're off to snag a deed from a haunted mansion to stop the supreme tense
and grabbing it back.
On the way, they hit blood bucks.
Eon's getting a blood latte and Roger, well, he's sickin' his butt out the window and gets
bitten by a vampire.
Classic Roger ends up screaming for Eon to suck out the venom.
Wild, man.
Inside the mansion, though, they're greeted by a ghostly lady throwing stuff and talking
about freedom.
Turns out she's the murdered wife of one of those rich jerks.
The gang explores, battling Poltergeist and a guardian who wants them to choose between
freeing him or freeing the lady spirit.
Heavy stuff.
In the end, they go full metal Omnicon, of course.
Anaka summons a flock of blackbirds to consume the vengeful wrath.
They snatch the deed, some cool loot, and they bolt as the house literally screams at
them like real haunted house vibes, dude.
Man, what a wild night.
Ghosts, ghouls, and rock and roll.
Make sure to tune in this week to see what crazy shenanigans Metal Omnicon gets up to
next.
Stay spooky, stay wild, and rock on, my friends.
Thank you, Carl.
Yes, thank you, Carl.
Okay, boys and girls, it is time to start the show.
Yes, tonight's show is going to start a little bit different.
One second.
Let's get some tunes here.
For me to set the scene.
All right, everybody.
Our show begins tonight with you three in the waiting room of the university.
You're here waiting to meet up with Jillian Vanderbeek.
Oh, Jilly.
Now, this university waiting room is bustling.
Students, professors, the walls are lined with bulletin boards filled with flyers for
magical research and arcane experiments, talent shows, etc.
Comfortable chairs are arranged in clusters and the air hums with the energy of academic
pursuit.
There's a goblin woman with very long pink nails typing away at a computer behind the desk.
You three are sitting in nice comfortable chairs and across from you sits Mr. Johnson
smoking a cigar and next to him is Pickles.
Pickles looks across.
You guys have been here for a little while in the waiting room and Pickles says, oh,
hey, dude.
Hi.
Hey, dude.
Good to see you, dude.
Yeah.
Is this the moron we hit with a brick?
Oh, yeah, dude.
That was that was me, dude.
Hi.
Hello.
He picks up a magazine, starts reading it.
So I'm sorry, are we all here by happenstance or do we invite these jerk wads to come with
us?
Mr. Johnson kind of called you here and decided to meet you here.
And I also would like to change Mr. Johnson's voice a little bit to be a little more nasally.
I figured the way he's been treated this whole time is that he's been treated like a
man. I figured the way he's been treated, it makes more sense comedically.
But Mr. Johnson does sit in the waiting room.
His eyes are sharp and focused as he puffs on the cigar.
But he says, uh, band, I've got a lead on some crazy shit going down.
But first, we just got to speak with Gillian.
So we're here waiting.
And Pickles says, oh, yeah, dude.
And I've got some information on the Supreme 10, dude.
Could be big.
And so Mr. Johnson invited me to join.
Cool.
Is there anything to eat in here?
I am wasting away.
There is a big old bowl of those chalky fucking candies.
They're like different pastel colors and they're all in their own, each individual
wrappings.
Big old crystal bowl on a table in the center of this waiting room.
I'm just going to pick up the whole bowl and hold it and eat.
I'm not even unwrapping them.
I'm just putting the whole thing in my mouth, chewing and then spitting out the wrapper
on the floor.
Like biting the wrapper and like pulling them out.
No, not even that.
The whole fucking thing in my mouth.
Bite it and then spit out the wrapper when I get it out.
As he's doing that, I'm actually going to feel two seats down and just move farther
away from his disgusting mouth sounds.
I'm just going to.
That's such a funny visual, dude.
He's just like.
I love the idea of a visual of a waiting room.
And that's why is the DM I get to do this.
The receptionist looks up from her computer, she stops typing, she goes.
She stands up from her chair and goes into a janitor closet to get a broom.
Might as well bring out the bucket, sweetheart.
Right. And I'll tell you feel a little bit of anticipation and, you know, excitement
finally getting to see Jillian and you can see her door.
Big old name tag on it.
Yeah, this is Jillian.
I can't see that her door says that, but I'll take you right for it.
Yeah, well, you know that it's there.
You've touched it before.
There's actually Braille on the door thing, so you know.
It's embossed.
It's yeah, it's embossed.
All right, Ian, what are you doing in this waiting room?
I am just crocheting away.
I'm working on a scarf now.
It is colorful as hell, and there's little little tiny monsters crocheted along the edges,
and she's making it for Anonka so that she can feel the little monsters around the edges.
Nice. That's fun.
I love that.
Some PA speakers go off, you know, requesting kids go to certain rooms or whatever.
And then there is like a stampede of magic using kids that comes through this office.
All different kinds of people.
They're like Eric Cochran's, other Genasi's, all different kinds of people.
Goblins, trolls, elves, dwarves, all coming out holding books.
They're all different colors and shapes and sizes, and they all kind of stampede straight through.
But as they go through, there's one small elf girl that stops.
Three.
Well, it's not you three, but two of you see her.
And you can see she's holding a binder that has metal Omnicon stickers on it.
And she stops in her tracks.
And she's looking at you three, and she goes, oh my God.
Oh my God.
What?
Where you at?
Hello?
Hi.
Uh, wait.
Um.
Hi.
How are you?
Spit it out, child.
Hey.
Jesus, Roger.
Come here, love.
Come here.
And I'm going to hold out my hand outward.
Come here.
Come let us.
Let us see you.
Walks forward and touches your hand.
She's like, um.
Oh my.
Are you all right?
Do you need help?
Oh my God.
Oh, a fan are we?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
She's got the binder and everything.
Oh.
Somebody bought the binder?
Holy fuck.
Look at that.
I didn't think anybody would buy one of those.
Does it actually hold enough?
Does it hold enough for your schoolwork?
Yeah.
She opens it and on the inside of it, there's like bunches of fan art drawings of you guys
that she has drawn inside of the.
Oh, Ananka.
She's an artist.
Oh, you listen, you graduate from here.
If you want a job, listen, Astral Projecting to get art for this stuff is so hard.
If you want a job, come see us after you graduate.
We could probably work something out.
Oh my God.
Okay.
Could could you three sign my binder?
Sure.
Of course.
Don't worry, we don't bite.
Okay.
And she hands you her binder.
And she uh.
Do you have a marker or a pen?
Oh, I don't get it.
Hold on, hold on.
Johnson, your pencil pusher.
Hand us a pen.
Yeah, okay.
I don't know what I'm gonna do.
Gives you a pen.
Jesus fuck.
Okay.
Oh my God.
And I just hand print the binder.
She's like, oh, that was so cool.
That was the coolest thing.
Let's that dry or you'll get hepatitis.
Oh, yeah, yeah, that was so cool.
Yeah, stay in school kid.
And I flick a lit cigarette at her forehead.
She's like.
That was so cool.
Yeah, don't idolize him.
Stick to the artwork.
He's he's a grumpy.
He's just grumpy.
He's also an idiot.
He's gotta be grumpy.
He's the singer of the band and no one likes him.
It's the most metal thing.
This kid gets it.
True, true.
She passes a binder around.
Do you guys sign it?
Yeah, I'll hold it out for Anonka.
All right.
She says you can make it out to Elizabeth, please.
Oh, Elizabeth.
Of course, Lizzie.
Lizzie, that's such a cool name.
I like that.
That's yours.
I had a girlfriend named Lizzie once.
We called her Lizzie Borden.
She had a way with Knox.
That's so cool.
All right.
You guys sign it and she skip hops away.
Like she just had the best fucking day of her life ever.
And then you hear all the speakers.
Metal Omnicon.
Mrs. Vanderbeek will see you now.
Oh, OK.
You guys sit up from your seats and Mr. Johnson's like, OK, band, we're going to go in here.
And just just all right.
Very respected musician.
Roger, I did bring you something.
What?
And he hands you out of a bag.
You know, like how ground hamburger comes in those tubes?
Yeah, he hands you a tube of ground hamburger.
What do you want me to do with this?
It's what you wanted, sir.
I didn't ask for this.
OK, must be my mistake.
Would you like me to take it back?
No, it's mine.
You gave it to me.
All right, then you may keep it.
Yeah, just focus on that while we're in here.
OK.
God, Aaron, we need to get a new butler.
This guy sucks.
Oh, oh, Roger.
Well, I want to cut up the tube of meat.
I want to cut up the tube of meat and start making balls
and just throwing them on the wall as we were walking.
The janitor goblin, the receptionist goes,
oh, goes back to the janitor closet and gets the mom.
As we walk away from her, I'm going to peg her in the back of the head with one of them.
God, God, God.
Sorry about that.
I don't get paid.
Alicia, I am so sorry.
Alicia, I am so sorry that happened.
That's definitely.
He's he.
Hey, there's no stopping this dunce.
Here we go.
You guys step into Jillian Vanderbeek's office.
Now, Jillian's office is a wonderland of magical artifacts and arcane tomes,
shelves crammed with dusty books that lie in the walls,
interspersed with glowing crystals and ancient scrolls.
And.
Curiosities, the air in here stick with the scent of incense
and the soft glow of enchanted lamps cast a warm, inviting light.
Jillian puts down her phone and looks up and welcomes you guys in.
And I know that Anonka has a vision of probably what Jillian looks like,
even though it's irrelevant to Anonka.
But will you describe?
Well, I mean, Jillian, Jillian has in fact taught me
how to go into the astral plane.
So I have seen at least the essence of who she is on the inside.
Nice.
And.
She she's a little bit of a heavier set woman,
but like a very mothering type vibe.
She's got she's got big round cheeks, a little bit of a belly,
curly red hair that's gray in a bit.
And she she has a voice that makes you want a hot dog real bad.
Oh, nice.
Now, I'm not going to butcher a voice if I do one for her.
But what I will say is the first thing she does when she welcomes you
and she goes, oh, welcome.
Hi, Anonka.
She runs right over to a mini frame.
What grabbing the weenies subscribe to and a half year
sub avertery with you dirty birdies.
I love the way she says your name.
Beating weenies.
I'm not sure.
I don't know if she says your name, but I'm beating weenies.
Cheers.
Thank you so much.
We did.
Yeah, dude.
30 months.
God dang.
Cheers.
I cheers.
But my dog is Lucy's garden.
The door.
True.
OK, she runs right over to a mini fridge
and she pulls out a juice box and she hands it to Roger.
She goes, here you go.
Would you like that?
All right.
Have a seat right here.
We have some toys for you to play with.
And you look over and there's like little hammers
and like rusty bits and like this milk crate.
Have at it.
Goodness.
You sit down as well, but she walks right over to you, Ananka.
And she immediately puts her hand on your chest
and grabs your raven necklace.
And she inspects it.
She goes, oh, is this what you told me about?
Yes, it's a new, different.
Quickly, if you could describe to me, how did this come to be?
We were at a pawn shop and I touched a statue
and the statue turned into an air spirit
that said we had to fight to the death for me to be worthy.
Did you?
But earlier that day, I had a vision of a big black bird
who said I had been chosen.
Okay.
Ananka, this is very important.
What color were the raven's eyes?
Mr. Underscore Abstracto just shared 85 bits.
I throw my bitties in your general direction.
Yes, you do. And we accept them willingly.
My lord.
Cheers, bud.
Okay, Ananka, serious question.
They were black, but with like a hint of yellow.
Yellow, you say?
Okay, this is good.
This is good.
I am sorry, Eon.
I don't have anything for you at this time, but...
Oh, you're fine.
While Roger is busy playing with the ruckus,
if you would pass, Eon, come with me and Ananka.
We must go to my other room.
We have something that must be done first.
And Johnson Pickles, please take care of Roger.
Thank you.
And you guys go to the other room
and she shuts the men out into the door.
And it's just you dudes sitting in there.
And as you leave and the door shuts,
I go, okay, take care of me.
And I start shooting into the ceiling.
You just hear Pickles going like, come on, dude, come on.
And Johnson's like, sir, put the gun down and the door shuts.
She's like, it'll be fine.
It'll be fine.
Magical wards.
Children of Proteus subscribed as shit dog.
Someone killed Roger.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, oh, no. Someone did the thing.
Oh, no. 30 months for you as well, Proteus.
My goodness.
Cheers, friend.
Okay. You step into this room that has this...
It's kind of futuristic.
It's got a lot of tech in here.
There's a lot of computers.
In the center of the room, there's like this glass square
that's on this platform.
Have you ever seen the scene in Spider-Man with Green Goblin?
You know what I'm talking about?
It's kind of like that.
And she looks at you, Anonka, and she says, okay, so you have a choice to make.
You may embrace this spirit of the Raven or you may cast it out.
And we can do that here and now.
The only advice I can give to you is that
every god, they kind of always want what they want.
It wants you for a reason.
We don't know what that is.
You may get benefits from this.
It may be guiding you to a future that it wants to see,
or it could be playing tricks.
So the decision that you make here is all up to you.
Well, the Ravens by nature are little goofy boys.
They're tricksters, but they're wise.
Their tricks come with age.
Their tricks are to benefit the flock.
Sure.
Do you believe this to be the case?
I mean, my experience with them has been that
they're not going to be able to do anything.
They're not going to be able to do anything.
My experience with them has, you know, always been so.
And though if you go back in other mythology,
if a black bird crosses your path, it means death,
which, you know, I wouldn't necessarily not welcome death
because it's part of the life cycle.
But...
I think it's something that has visually lurked in darkness myself
my whole life, I'd welcome.
A creature that has been considered darkness.
And if I was chosen, I'd like to see it through
because obviously it saw something.
And it sounds to me, Ananka, that you've made your choice.
Yeah, I suppose so.
What we can do now is I will have you step up into the platform here.
I'm going to shut the door and I'm going to be setting my machines
to allow you to be able to embrace this energy.
Cheers, ba-da!
Fucking cheers!
Cheers, guys.
I don't know what you're watching.
Oh, man, well, hey, thanks for coming around, Frito.
We still love you, buddy.
We still appreciate you.
Hell yeah.
Cheers, man.
It's lovely to see you, Frito.
We've missed you.
Good to have you back.
Yeah, I do, Drew.
When you get up there, what I'm going to want you to do
is meditate as hard as you can.
If you try to astral project, you will not be able to leave
the confines of the cage, but neither will the spirit.
And I need you to get in there and think positive thoughts about it.
I need you to think and embrace this magic, Ananka.
Okay, I'll...
Let's do this.
Okay.
Eon, you're a long time friend, very wise person of Ananka.
Do you have any input before we make this final decision?
Any words of encouragement?
Well, I think she put it beautifully.
It sounds like poetry.
And if she's willing to accept the spirit and it's willing to accept her,
I mean, sounds like we're on the right path, then.
All right.
Let's do it.
All right, you step up into this thing.
And what do you do before she...
She shuts the door, the glass goes over the computer,
and she's looking at you waiting to begin.
All right.
I'm gonna get the hair out of my mouth first.
But I'm going to open my arms.
They're going to be down, but they're going to be palms facing outwards.
And I'm going to start thinking about the necklace and the raven that I saw in my vision.
And the sweeping feeling of wind beneath wings and the true freedom that is
to fly and be one with the air like many Genosse are.
And welcome the play aspect of being that kind of free and flowing with the universe.
Hell yeah.
She looks up to you, she says, ready?
Ready.
She pulls down this lever and she's like,
I'm going to go and get the necklace.
And she's like, I'm going to go and get the necklace.
She pulls down this lever and you could feel this immense magnetism like pressure on your body,
like pushing you down, like squishing you to the ground.
Then you try to hold back up.
And as you're pushing back up, this raven emerges from your necklace and then another one and another
one and another one and another one.
And before you know it, Eon, you just see this whole glass cage is full of swirling ravens,
cawing and chirping, it's like a tornado.
You can't even see the inside with Ananka sitting in there.
Now, first role of the night, a very special one.
I need you to make me a conjuring wisdom check.
Willpower?
Willpower.
Conjuring check, yes.
Oh, sorry, I had the glitch.
They still like that's a three.
You only had to beat a two and your glitch die is a two.
So nothing happens, but you succeed.
So as these ravens are swirling around you, you begin to commune with them.
One of them comes into your vision like better than you've ever seen before,
because you can see the things around you in this room, like as if the ravens swirling
around you weren't even there.
You can see all of the technology in the tubes.
You can see the ventilation systems and you're in awe.
And then you look forward to see this gigantic crow, like you said, blackish, yellow eyes
standing there.
It's pecking at the floor and it looks up and it sees you.
It sees you for real for the first time and it looks right into your soul.
And it says, you are worthy.
You are worthy.
Are you?
I do hope so.
You hope.
What if you are wrong?
Then I imagine you'd pass your gifts off to the next person who is worthy.
What happens to the world if you fail?
The universe will go on.
But it will not.
Not someone will take my place to take down those who have hurt so many magic users.
Someone will call to action if I fail.
Someone will pick up the altar behind me, as is the way of life.
So is the way of death.
There will always be someone to carry.
So others can eat.
This is.
This is the way of life.
And the way of scavengers.
We eat what is left behind so we may grow and thrive and live another day.
This sentiment is accepted.
And the crow, big ass crow, rushes right at you.
It flaps its wings and even on the outside, Eon, all the papers and shit in this room,
for no reason, just go everywhere.
And then the crow flies directly at you into your body and you fly back.
All the other crows swirling around disappear.
And then you look down at your arms and two huge crow tattoos appear down the sides of your arms.
Oh, new art.
And then the glass opens.
And Jillian says, did it work?
Yeah.
I mean, these are new.
Hold it open my arms.
So, um.
She's like, oh, yeah, you didn't you didn't have those before.
But breaking the wall here, game mechanics, you can now summon crow familiar.
Very cool thing that you can do.
The crow can fly, it can look for you, it can send messages back for you.
You can also summon crow familiar to literally be your eyes.
You can see what it sees at any point that you want to.
At any point that you want to.
Oh, yeah.
That's cool as hell.
Summon crow familiar.
And it doesn't take any kind of check, just takes an action.
But if you want the crow to do things, the crow will make a check.
Yeah, crow vision.
True vision.
I'm the motherfucking crow.
I am the Avenger.
Yes, you are.
She says, OK, well, that's good.
I am very proud of you for doing this.
First of all, I mean, being chosen by, you know, a spirit this powerful is
something to not bat an eye at.
I always knew you would achieve good things, Ananka.
So congratulations.
Thank you, Julie.
I mean, anything you find out about what I mean, I don't even know who this God is.
I mean, yeah, I made a deal because I seem pretty.
Listen, you know me, go with the flow.
Everything happens for a reason.
But if you if you find out like who the God is, I don't even know their name.
Yeah, this is true.
Could be.
I don't know.
But let's go back to my office.
Speaking of things that are meant to be before Roger completely destroys it.
And as they walk over and open the door, Roger, what do they see as they enter back into the room?
Johnson and the other fucking person are holding me down and shooting off.
And she walks over to the mini fridge, pulls out another juice box and hands it to you, Roger.
Here you go.
All right.
Now down to business.
It's so funny because I have juice box in my notes like four times.
OK, she sits down and all of you guys sit in these chairs all the way around and things get pretty intense.
OK, I was going to do that, but let's do this instead.
Very good.
Mr. Johnson stands up and he says, OK, here, gang, there's a vice with a vice.
Here, gang, there's a vice leader of the Supreme 10, a man whom led the massacre against your family.
Anonka, this man is up to some suspicious shit.
And the plan moving forward now is we need you to break into his office, fucking murder his ass
and steal all the data, all the data from his computer.
Mr. Pickles here helps with the locations and whereabouts of this man.
Mr. Pickles, he goes, yeah, dude, so like this guy's a real asshole, dude.
But one thing I do know, dude, is that a man is still working for Mortalis.
He's got the key code to the building that this guy works in, man.
So like, if you want easier access, I go talk to him, dude, and he could maybe get you the code.
What's his name?
Chat.
Chat. Actually, what I can do is I can actually go over to our name from Mortalis.
Yeah, I can go pick a name for more Dallas. That's right.
That's right.
Should we see every time we're murdering Tyler tonight, his name, Tyler.
Sounds like someone who drinks a lot of Mountain Dew and punches through walls.
Well, he might. But the man at Mortalis, Tyler, you know, you don't have to murder Tyler.
He just has the information, the code to be able to get into the vice leader of the Supreme 10.
OK, yeah, get in there, fucking murder his ass because this man. OK, Ben, listen to me.
I have my own. He's in charge of murdering my family.
You don't have to say more. He's a great count and he deserves to be put in the ground.
I thought you had to say sweet cheeks. Good.
Yes. Get in there and fucking murder him. Now, we've also got a Jillian here and we've got her
involved in this mission because she knows a little bit about magical artifacts and Pickles
has something to say about that. And he's like, yeah, dude, so like they're doing something with
a book, dude. I don't know what it is, dude, but they're trying to summon some crazy shit.
And Jillian's like. Well, go ahead, Dion.
What kind of what kind of book did you see it or hear what it was about or anything?
Pickles is like, well, the.
Thank you, Connor. Appreciate that.
Well, punk stank punk stank thunder got
that. I think that's pronounced thumb old.
Dunt punk stank thumb.
Thunderbolt. Yes, he's a vice leader for the supreme 10. He's not one of the supreme 10,
but a lot of these vice leaders work here on the ground doing their footwork.
And from what Pickles has told us, they're gathering things to be able to summon
a world ending creature, something from the deep dark deep down. And oh, oh, that's weird.
Why better? We would like to do our best to avoid that from happening. So.
Yeah, we should stop this guy. We should definitely kill him. That sounds like a bad thing,
right? That's probably bad. So first of all, it is bad.
Punk Stank Thunder, but don't fuck him right in his ass.
For real. Really? You're giving me permission this time?
Roger, I'm giving you permission to murder this man and have sex with his
corpse if you like, because he's a real piece of shit. OK, oh, I don't know if I'm going to
fuck a corpse. That's bad. Come on. Why do you think he's a liar? Are you standard Zello?
I don't know how to please you. OK.
I'd stop trying, honestly, Johnson. There's no pleasing that idiot.
Thunder, but not Kedonk. Yes, as a bad man deserves to die. But we also need all the
information from his computer. So you're going to need to get it. However you get it is up to you.
You guys have the skill sets. You're all very powerful, awakened creatures with good minds.
Two of us. Yeah, is this thing loaded?
Two of us are very powerful, awakened creatures. But yeah.
And Jillian's like, OK, do you guys have any questions for me about anything
before you go? You have your mission. Gilly, we will be in touch. We might have some stuff
to discuss with you without present people available. OK. A little bit later. All right.
But because I'm not saying I don't trust our band manager, but, you know,
he did bring in someone we took down with a brick two weeks ago as a source. So.
Jillian, I've done everything I can for these people. I've brought them cheesecake, hamburger.
You know, I've helped them with concerts. I've done everything I can and they still don't trust me.
I don't know how to please them. Well, cheesecake and hamburger do not sound like nice gifts,
sir. It does sound like someone who'd throw a pizza party for their employees instead of paying
them more, doesn't it? It kind of does. Well, yeah, I do what I can. Mr. Johnson, I do have one
question before we leave. Yes. Any other juice box? What do you know about the mind dragon?
What do you know about the mind dragon? Well, I do believe the mind dragon is a dragon that was
formed from a mind flayer colony brought back to life. They are very powerful creatures.
Why do you ask? Oh, my dragon, these nuts across your face. All right, let's go.
Oh, there it is. That seems right. Yep. Yeah. All right.
Okay, that's where we're going to take our break, everybody. We're going to come right back with
these guys in the band discussing in the bus, discussing what their next plans are, or at least
on the way out. Yes, indeed. So we're going to take our quick five minute break and we'll be
right back. Hey, look, we appreciate y'all for being here. Yeah. I know I haven't read a lot
of chat, but I was honestly having a lot of fun with all this monologue and things that I was
doing tonight. So thank you all for hanging in with me. All right. Yeah. Keep an eye out for
our future show because there's going to be a lot of chat involvement for that shit. All right. Just
be excited for that. That's how consent works. Yes, it is. Yes, it is. Why do I feel like the band's
going to be scapegoats after this job? Ooh, Mira's got ideas. Sucks that. What is scapegoats after
every job? That's the thing. That's why we have a different band name when we're out in public,
the balloon nuts. So nobody knows it. Yeah, we're not distinct people at all. No, no, I look,
I assume everybody looks like me. Do you not all look like this? Well, I put on my glasses when
I'm not on stage. So I'm totally different. So we look exactly the same and you do my makeup. So I
imagine we look exactly the same. If you don't look like me, you're scary and different and I
don't like you. I imagine Roger looks deformed, but I imagine we can hide that with like a hat.
You three walk back out to the waiting room. You wait in the elevator and go down to where your
bus is parked. As you're walking out,
each one of you roll me perception
and be the two.
What is perception again? Logic willpower.
OK, wanted to double check before I rolled a bunch of fucking ones.
Jesus, still got a two though. I got a six. Roger got a six. Yes, he did. He got a two. Out of seven.
All right.
Pretty good. I got a six. Everybody succeeded here. So
as you guys walk out,
you see surrounding your bus are four people in dark cloaks.
The parking lot around you is dimly lit with shadows lurking in between all the rows of cars
and everything is quiet except for the distant hum of traffic. But as you approach, you see these
figures in dark cloaks. They're trying to break into your bus. They're trying to break into your
bus. They haven't seen you yet. So I'm gonna let all you guys to get the surprise round on these guys.
Is Bob not in the bus? Oh, he might be. But you don't know.
Map. I know we don't do maps a lot in tonight's episode four. And I really kind of been wanting
to do a map. I've been feeling it and I was going to do something else, but I'm doing this instead.
So we're doing a map tonight. Hell yeah, everybody. It's map time.
Well, you know what I'm gonna do? Yeah. Can I turn into a bat and fly up on the guy on the farthest
end? Yeah. Yeah. That will be your full movement though. Yeah, it's your full movement. You can
get all the way over there. You should be able to control your tokens. You should be able to.
Yeah. Oh, I'm floating as the bat flies. Is that the extent of my movement right there?
You can get all the way up to him. All right. Well, I just want to sprint all the way up to them.
Town, subscribe. No more ad be town. Cheers, man.
And as soon as I get there, I want to show up right next to the guy and be like,
or, you know, he's looking into the, you know, the bus or whatever. And I'm going to lean in
close behind him and I go, that's my purse. I don't know you. And then I just shoot him.
Nice. Okay. You can make me an attack check. You got to beat a two. You're going to beat a two.
There's no way you don't beat a two.
You did beat a two. It's a six. It means you got four above your damage. Your gun does physical.
How much damage does it do? Well, for this shot that I took, I'm using my big hand gun that I got
and it does 10 physical. Jesus. So that's 14 damage. This guy, you shoot him right in the head
and his brains all over the bus as he falls to the ground. And as his brain splatter on the
windshield, you squint your eyes because you see the head of Bob the zombie licking the windshield.
I'm trying to get the brains and also you got a five on your glitch die. I did roll it,
but you guys can't see it. Hold on. Don't worry Bob, I'll get you a to go box.
Anonka, you did your movement before we let, before we let Eon, you did your movement before
we let Anonka go. Is there something you want to do? Me? Yes. Yes. I would like to poof out of bat
form and go, what you doing? He goes, who are you? And he turns. He's holding a rifle.
Oh, it's, it's time for a birthday fun. And I'm going to pull out my birthday pulse rifle and shoot
him. Oh shit. All right. Beat a four. Oh my God. What do I roll? Oh shit. If you did that,
it's your character sheet should be a firearms check. I'll pull it up with you. Oh God.
Lace umbrella umbrella assault rifle, birthday pulse rifle. You should just be able to click it.
Click both day purse rifle and it'll go. It does eight. It says no defense configured.
What the fuck?
What the fuck? Oh, it'd be physical. Oh yeah. Physical. So maybe now. Okay. Now I can. Nice.
You've got a one. So you hold on. Let me roll the glitch. That's a one. You got a one.
Okay. Well, no matter what you do, you still got a one on that glitch. So you get to, um,
try to succeed again. That's gonna go well. Still one success. Um, explain to us how you fail and
what your extreme glitch is on what happens here. Yeah. So she says it's birthday time and she has
the pulse rifle kind of slung across her chest and she goes to pull it out. And when she does,
she accidentally fires off into the van and makes a huge hole.
Bob's like, Hey man.
I'm Steve underscore forge of law just shared 69 bits. Pull your head out of your ass.
That's funny as shit. Last but not least, Ananka. What do you do?
Uh, I'm going to use chaotic world and I'm going to envelop the three that are still,
I'm going to envelop them all in darkness. Like just say closing void of darkness that makes them
feel like they're closing, being closed in on, uh, but essentially project a voice into the darkness
saying like you you've been chosen as the next to die and become my pulpits. Oh shit. Okay.
Oh God. You're doing the parts of the Caribbean thing now. Why not? Hello.
It spilt differently than that, but good job. Uh, glitched. I was on, but you did get a three.
What is your actual glitch? A four. Um, you got a three. You succeed. Uh, the three of them
look around. You can see they're confused. They look up to the sky. They're like listening to
this voice and they can't say anything. It's pure darkness. Now enveloped around them.
Yeah, they don't see the sky anymore. They're looking up. Like trying to see and um,
one of them just says, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
No. Just, just hand over the hellhound and no one has to get hurt.
Excuse you?
Not Lucy!
You could have taken any one of these fuckers, but you're taking the most important thing
to me!
Now you have to die!
Alright, um, now it's initiative time.
No more surprise round.
Everybody roll initiative.
They got a four.
Which one's willpower?
Which one's initiative again?
Agility willpower?
Is that right?
Yes.
I think it's agility logic is what it is actually.
Oh, okay.
Did I roll the wrong thing?
Oh I did.
I did roll agility logic.
You did, yeah.
Alright.
Agility logic.
Here we go.
Zero.
Jesus.
Four.
Oh, I also got a four.
Okay, so first is Eon.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
You misunderstand.
The dog is surrounded in plot armor.
And she's going to drop the pulse rifle to her side and take out...
No, she's going to reach out and do the mannable at this person right in front of her.
Nice.
Not going to have a snack.
She's fucking eat him.
Beat a two.
Alright.
That's a four!
Hell yeah!
How much damage does it do?
It does six physical, so eight total.
Is that right?
That is right.
Okay.
You blast him back like...
He's like, ah!
Just give us the dog!
I don't know where that came from, but give us the dog!
I'm sorry.
I don't know who you are, but no fucking way.
Stupid fuckers.
Alright, in my game, player goes first on initiative ties.
So Roger, what do you do?
I'm going to climb on top of the man!
Nice.
Pull me.
And agility check.
Okay.
Beat a four.
Nice.
Agility, agility.
So two of them together.
Seven.
Yeah, okay.
You climb up there just fine.
Then what do you do?
I can't attack two people at once, can I?
No.
Not unless you got some special idea of something.
Convince me.
I was just going to do a front flip off of the van and have my feet land on the top of
their heads.
You can land on one of them, for sure.
So the one on the right of you already been hit by the mana bolt and the one on the left
is fresh.
I'm going to do the one that just got hit by the mana bolt.
Nice.
I'm going to crotch first into his face.
Okay.
We're going to do...
With a beautiful front flip.
A melee attack.
You gotta beat a five.
A melee attack.
What is it, strength?
Agility?
Sure.
Yeah.
Let's do it.
Damn.
That's a four.
I'd like to spend my edge.
Okay.
Get it.
I think it just sped up.
I think it just clicked edge on the character sheet.
On the...
There's like a chat box.
There you go.
Nice.
Oh wait.
I don't think I did that correctly.
Why'd you rage face edge?
It's okay.
I didn't get it.
Did you come in here and fart?
I had a dog that's 13 years old.
He's old.
He just came in here.
I smell farts.
He's sitting right next to me.
Aw.
Just a pooping ass.
He just, I'm going to go in the turkeys room and fucking fart at him.
Thanks bud.
Bastard.
He likes the ass acoustics in that room.
I swear.
Good acoustics.
Good air.
Good to know, Steve.
Love potion number nine.
There you go.
There you have it.
Okay.
Now, I do want to remind you that everyone starts the episode with one single couch coin,
which can give them an extra success, but even in this case, you would only tie with
the other guy.
So, what happens is you front flip off of the van, and he's a little bit shorter than
you imagined, but actually, since you fail, why don't you describe what happens as you
land in front of him.
What happens is, I was judging the front flip for my crotch to land in his face, but what
actually happens, my knees hit his shoulders first, and my whole body just face plants
into the pavement behind him.
Nice.
He turns around.
He looks at you.
He's holding his rifle.
He looks at you and he goes, it's the one connected to the hellhound.
And he holds it up even more and he's like, give us the hellhound.
Eat shit and die.
Alright, he's going to try and attack you with his rifle.
You gotta dodge him.
You gotta make me an agility logic check to dodge.
You gotta beat a six.
That's a two.
That means he got four above.
That's a lot.
He does eight physical damage to you as he fires right into your body while you're laying
there on the ground.
Yeah.
The other guy from on the other side of the van is actually going to attack the van itself.
So if I'm actually going to roll for Bob Zombie, we're going to roll like a check for the van
itself to see how much damage he gets to do to it, but he's shooting out the windows of
the van.
So I'm going to make a check here.
He got a five and then in defense, the van and Bob Zombie got a two.
So he shoots out a bunch of windows of the van on this side.
Just blows them all out.
And Bob's like, no, no.
And Lucy's in there just barking like crazy.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
The last guy is going to shoot a non-co.
He's facing that direction.
He's going to shoot over the hood of the van.
Isn't he enveloped in darkness?
Oh, he is.
Yeah.
What does that affect to do exactly?
Does it make them reroll?
Yeah.
I can't see anything.
Yeah.
But what is the so chaotic world affect?
Plus hallucination, distractions.
Targus must reroll one successful die per roll.
OK.
Oh.
Fair enough.
So he got a four.
So we'll reroll one of them successful dices.
And he got a two.
So he only got three successes shooting in your general direction.
And let's see, even with Roger, that would have been the same.
But let's see, just to double check with Roger.
He got a four on you, Roger.
So you only took seven damage instead of eight.
Yes.
But you, Anaka, need to beat a three.
Make me an agility logi.
What do I?
Agility logi.
Agility.
Yes.
Logi.
We'll let the dogs out.
There you go.
Five.
So yeah, he just fires off into the darkness.
No idea.
We're back at the top.
Let's see on Stern, Ian, what do you do?
I didn't get to go.
Oh, you didn't get to go.
Yeah, Anaka, because you got a zero.
You're right.
It's your turn.
Yeah.
I'd like to walk up to this one on the right hand side.
Yeah.
And I'd like to unfurl my monofilament whip around the bottom of its their ankles.
Nice.
And essentially yank it tightly around their ankles.
Just like wrap them up.
It's badass.
Okay.
Well, according to the thing, it's a monofilament whip with thing is almost invisible wire that
can slice through nearly anything.
So let's click on it.
He only got a one.
He got a six.
I think if now were to be the time to give a dice, it would be to me.
This is the first time Anonka gets to use her really cool, badass new filament whip.
And this guy got a way higher defense roll.
So if chat wants to do this, I don't know.
Cheers.
What do we think about maps?
Mirror, more grisly, three-year-old tech.
What do we think?
Fucking love it.
That's the food.
You got a one.
So if you want to spend a couch coin, you're only one so far.
You can succeed.
Yeah, I'll spend the couch coin.
All right.
I'll spend.
Sound effects for couch coins.
No, that just adds.
That just adds.
Okay.
Either way, it was still a one.
So you got one above.
You hit that two.
You wrap up his legs.
How much damage does the whip do?
It says seven P.
So that's eight in total.
Nice.
Badass.
What does it look like?
This is the thing.
It slices through almost anything.
So if I'm going to do this, I'm going to do this.
I'm going to do this.
It slices through almost anything.
So if I've lacerated around his ankles, can I, like, obviously he's not going to be dead,
but can I just have yanked it so it cuts the tendons in both of his ankles?
You can like pull it real tight, like horror movie style.
And so like it's starting to cut at his ankles.
You've got it whipped and you're like pulling it.
He's like, no, no, don't let go.
And it's just like slowly getting tighter and tighter around his ankles.
And you've got him.
He's like on the ground.
Nobody messes with our puppy.
As the dog continues to bark from the inside, I actually picture now that we're at the bottom of initiative,
the windows that were shot out.
Lucy's like standing at the window, like barking out the window down at one of these guys.
Do you command her, Roger?
Yeah, me on the floor shot.
I go, Lucy, sick balls.
All right, roll me in a track Lucy.
Let's go.
Yes, Lucy.
Get him.
Oh, are you going to join this bloody fight, Bob?
He like holds up his head out the window.
So holding it up.
He's like, if you want me to, man, what do I do, man?
I'm not cool like you all, man.
You've got a gun.
He's like, oh, yeah.
I got a shotgun, man.
Do you want to command Bob to shoot something?
Yes.
Take him out.
Why wasn't this your first idea?
There was four of them, man.
Only one of me, man.
All right.
What do you do, Roger?
What does Lucy do?
Got a bloody bus to keep you safe.
Poor heavy web.
Holy shit, Lucy could use heavy weapons.
That's crazy.
She's going to do an elemental attack.
Critter power.
Plus two damage to the armor agility plus logic.
She got four agility to logic that sticks dice.
Nice.
Since he's down on the ground, I'll make it an easy roll as well.
She's only got to beat it to.
Oh, yeah, logic.
Hey, this is going to look kind of weird.
It's OK.
Yeah, fives and sixes are successes only beat down.
And then the little number here just tells you the amount of successes.
So you don't actually have to do any math.
What's the total?
No, a total number is eight.
Here's what I'm going to do.
I'm just going to roll.
86.
That's cool.
And a glitch.
Whoops.
What did you get here?
One success from Lucy.
Oh, no.
Sad.
But Lucy's glitch die.
Is a six.
Cool.
So Lucy doesn't land the attack, but something really cool and positive.
Dayum Steve underscore forge of law used to reroll Lucy.
All right.
Lucy can hit that reroll real quick.
Four.
All right, Lucy succeeds.
Two over and got a six on the glitch die, which means something awesome and positive happens on top of this thing.
First of all, what is the damage Lucy does?
Oh, shit, I just closed.
It is.
Elemental attack.
How that damage of six P plus two damage to armor.
So six damage.
Yes, six.
Hell, yeah.
Yeah.
Hell, yeah.
OK, so which guy is she attacking here?
We'll call the one right now.
Three, two, whichever one shot me.
I feel like she's exceptionally angry at that one.
OK, very good.
She's going to kill this man.
But there's also something awesome that happens.
You can feel free to describe it for us on the glitch day.
Um, well, as I say, sick balls, the guy looks at me when I say that and then looks back at Lucy and Lucy's mouth is wide open.
And then she closes it and looks at the guy and then just fucking huge fireball comes out of her mouth and blows the guy in half with just a smoldering two legs.
Standing there.
He's like running around the parking lot on fire like what is your now that he's dead.
What's your glitch?
What's something cool that happens?
That wasn't cool enough.
No, that was like basic attack, baby.
Oh, well, she has time to get out of the van and start pissing on the other guy.
I don't know.
Nice.
I was going to say that it was me.
I'd say the man that was on fire runs into the other guy that's on fire and lights him on fire.
That's what I would say.
So now he's also screaming.
He's going to take a little bit of damage as well.
Hell yeah.
OK, now that these guys have gone.
Oh, Bob, the zombie needs to go.
He pokes his head out the window, pulls the shotgun at the guy you got on the ground.
And he's like, you want me to shoot him, man?
Looks right at you, Anonka.
Yeah.
What have you been?
OK, sounds good, man.
He's a perfect target.
He can't see shit.
He got three for attack and the guy's defense.
Well, first of all, which guy?
It's a four.
Nothing happened.
The guy's defense is a four.
So he just shoots the concrete.
Does he have to reroll one of those successes because of the spell Anonka has on him?
Yes.
I don't think reroll on defense.
Oh, is that only for attack?
That's what I was thinking.
But either way, it's still.
Oh, I could be wrong.
It would be even or success.
It doesn't.
Oh, that's true.
It does say target must reroll one successful die per roll.
It doesn't say per attack.
It says per roll.
OK, why not?
No, it's a six.
That's a six.
All right, top of initiative.
It's Eon's turn.
What do you do?
All right.
This guy's gone.
So that guy's down.
Do I not get a turn again?
No, no, we're now at the top.
OK, it was them taking turns.
OK.
Yeah.
I'm going to run around here to this guy.
Looks like I just floated over there, but all right.
She does a little twirl past Roger and kind of boops him on the head.
All playful like.
And then she's going to take her hand and smash it right against this guy's chest.
And like this red energy just starts surging through his body as again, I'm going to cast
a man a bolt, but just in a guy that's on fire.
You're touching a man that's on fire.
OK, fair.
Mm hmm.
Fair.
I also love that Roger.
That was good.
You'll see the spin.
I was giving everybody the visual.
Nice.
OK, you got to beat a three.
You got a two, but he has to reroll a success.
You still have five, so it's still a success.
Son of a bitch.
Yeah.
So she reaches back and goes, ow, ow.
Fire.
Not cool.
Roger.
DM Steve underscore forge of low usd rerolling.
In fact, the opposite of cool.
It's quite hot.
Uh huh.
Not cool, Carl.
You got a two again.
It's bullshit.
Wow.
Just really impressive.
Roger, what do you do?
Sure go.
All right.
Well, I'm going to stand up from, you know, being face planted on the concrete.
And while that guy's busy with the Aeon, I'm going to stand up and say, I came here to
kick gum and chew ass and I'm all out of ass.
And then I shoot him.
Nice.
It's just been revoked.
Be the three.
Okay.
You got a one on your glitch die.
You got to major turn that bad boy off, baby.
I see what it actually was, but you got a 10 on your firearms check.
That is so much.
That's seven above to 17 damage.
Cool glitch dies a five, which means nothing.
You don't mess with a man's dog.
It's just rule one.
You don't miss with the dog.
17 damage as you shoot him and he just just obliterates the top half of him like fiery,
like cloak and hair and skin goes flying onto the other car.
Beside you guys.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, yeah.
Last night on the ground.
Hold on.
I'm doing a test.
Okay.
Why does it keep turning it on?
It's like or something.
Yeah, I've turned mine off every single time and it still has been rolling it for a
rolling it without my permission.
Well, how about whenever it does roll it?
We'll just let it be whatever it gets because I thought it was always rolling sixes and
ones.
That's why I was like, let's not do it.
But it looks like it's actually rolling other things.
So I think I trust it more now.
Yeah.
All right.
Moving forward.
We'll do that.
Last guy.
The only one alive looks up at you on his ankles are strapped tight.
You can't move.
He's stuck there.
First of all, he's going to try to make a strength check to get out of your filament
whip.
But before he does, he looks right at you.
You can't tell he's looking at you, but he looks right at you.
And he's like, just give me the hell hound.
Please.
We'll go.
No one has to die.
It's not easy.
It's not easy out here.
We need.
We need the hell hound.
We need her.
Why?
He's going to make his check.
It's going to be contested.
You got a five.
Make me a strength to hold on to that fucking thing.
Just strength, strength.
Oh, for fuck's sake.
Okay.
Yeah.
That's not going to go well for me.
With an only two strength.
You get a zero.
So he wiggles out of it and stands up and begins to run away.
Now it's your turn, Anonka.
So I'd like to use an elemental attack of I want a light.
I want essentially a streak of lightning to pass all the way over to like,
I'm going to target him with lightning.
So one.
That's a wooden six is fantastic.
You got a four.
So he jumps out of the way of it.
Yeah, I'm not.
I'll give her a reroll.
Yeah.
Nothing.
This is just the way things are.
I'm not.
I can't just roll.
Perfect.
I can't just roll 17 above what you're supposed to be able to roll every single time.
Why are you not using this opportunity to be comedic?
You got a reroll for me to roll.
Don't worry.
I'll get him.
Shoots lightning into the car next to us.
That's a two.
Which means you still miss.
Yeah.
Well, it's Lucy's turn now.
What does Lucy do?
Lucy sick balls.
Nice.
There she goes.
She's going to use a bite attack.
Okay.
She's got to be the two.
Yeah.
Bite.
Five P close.
So yeah, she's got to run up and bite him.
Nice.
Uh, let's see.
Well, you think this would be like strength agility?
Yeah, for sure.
So 10 total.
Here as well.
Bite.
Yeah.
Strength agility.
Hell yeah.
Uh.
One.
Holy shit.
Really?
She misses.
Bob the zombie out the back window.
Bitch.
I just shoots.
He got a four.
The defense.
Roger put the bus in reverse.
He also got a four.
He misses.
Top of initiatives.
It's a yawn.
What do you do?
Just just have Bob put the van in reverse.
I'm gonna.
Seeing this guy running.
Hey, get back here.
We need to know what the hell's going on.
Where are you going?
I'm gonna I'm gonna aim at his feet to try to bring him down in a sort of nonlethal way.
If if you'll allow it.
Oh yeah, just shoot off his ankle.
Using the animal.
Nice.
OK.
You gotta beat a two.
You got a four.
Oh, how much damage you do.
I think his ankles are eight.
They're already almost off anyway.
You blow off his ankles and his feet go flying and he falls and hits the ground.
It's like, oh, oh, I can't warn you.
He's bleeding out.
We need to do ask the mouth resuscitation.
And I sit my ass right on his mouth and fart.
That's right.
I'm gonna get your cheeks, bitch.
I'll be on the bus.
Got this man.
He's not running away.
Do you want to interrogate him for your bleeds on dies?
Sure.
What do you say?
Well, first, let me let him lose.
Now, hang on, buddy.
If you agree to answer our questions, I'll heal you up a little bit so you don't just die.
Yeah, this is a healing gun.
Roger, I mean real healing.
Not a gun.
OK.
Would you need the hell hound for our boss?
Our boss said we need the hell hound for a dark ritual.
Who's your boss?
His man.
We don't really know his name.
Powerful.
He works in the old abandoned church downtown.
That's all I know.
So you work for a man you don't know his name?
Mm-hmm.
To do dark rituals you don't know what they're gonna do.
What is your purpose in life?
My purpose is to get the hell hound.
So what happens when you bring the hell hound?
What happens to you then?
The dark ritual commences.
I say what happens to you?
Me?
I participate in the dark ritual.
And what will happen to you?
You're just a peon.
You'll get used as a snack or a face.
Ah!
My life has been for nothing!
I don't have a healing spell for the emotional damage.
I am sorry.
Well, you can't help this kind of stupid.
Well, ow.
I worked so hard for the Dark Lord.
And they don't even know his name.
They don't even know his name.
Oh my, that was rough for him.
Well, I'm gonna make sure he doesn't come back as a zombie.
No offense, Bob.
Oh man, that was a good one.
Save the brains.
Here's what I'm gonna do.
I'm gonna tie a chain to one part of his leg.
And I'm gonna tie another chain to the other part of his leg.
And then I'm gonna straddle a light pole in the parking lot.
You know what I'm talking about?
So like his legs and then the light pole like that.
And then the chains dangle in off the legs.
I'm gonna tie those two chains to the back of our bus.
And then we're gonna get the fuck out of here.
It doesn't have feet anymore, just so you know.
Oh, don't believe me. I'll find a way to get them.
Can I help to paint a picture here for a second?
You guys don't drive away, but you strap it up, Roger,
and you run into the bus and you hit on the gas pedal while Ananka and Eon are still in the parking lot watching this go down.
And this man's body gets ripped in half around the light pole.
And as it does, a book in this man's possession comes flying out almost magically and lands in Ananka's hands.
Well, that's on what's meant to do that.
I knew that was going to happen. Totally me.
A on what to say.
What's on the cover here of this book?
It looks very fleshy. There is an eyeball that is moving on it.
Well, I can tell you it's very creepy.
It looks like some kind of undead shit with with like fleshyness.
And there's an eye.
Oh, good. Well done.
Fleshy book. Will you open to a useful page?
Oh, you want me to open the fleshy book with my hand?
Oh, sure. Oh, I'm going to the book.
Yeah.
Okay.
Romeo Conjuring Willpower.
Why not?
Zero. It's a win.
It was a one. It was a one.
And there's two successes.
So you say that to the book.
The book's eye gets red and then fades back to blue.
Nothing happens.
I'm am I seeing this wrong that it says Conjuring 10?
That's how many days.
Oh, OK. Sorry.
Well, I said I'm not I'm not Roger.
It's never going to work for me.
I have to just hope that I can roll as many days as possible.
That I'll eventually get good rolls and I can be like I can be like Roger.
But it's never going to happen.
This is the only thing I look up to Roger about.
Hey, there we go.
Four.
Pretty exciting. Pretty exciting.
Let's move to this.
The book flips pages.
It lands on a page.
At the top, there are descriptions of vampires, how they came to be, where they came from, where the vampiric curse came from.
There are words in different languages about curing the vampiric curse.
There are words about how long vampires live for, where vampires came from, what their ages are, what fuels them, what thrives them, how to grow vampiric powers,
how to continue to become more powerful of a vampire, how to even become a vampire.
The page flips.
It goes over to the next page and it has details about what would happen if another fake creature became a vampire.
Like it has details about goblins.
It has details about fairy people, elves and dwarves, all of them becoming vampires.
It also has paragraphs about how this is not a common occurrence.
This doesn't happen. It's not usually successful.
Most of the time people just die during the transformation of becoming a vampire.
The pages flip even more.
It's got all this shit about werewolves and how the full moon comes and the blood moon that happens every three months and what happens with that.
And all these ritualistic sacrifices that happen.
The page flips even more all the way over to the end.
And it has a big picture of a hellhound in the center of it.
And it has all of these words about sacrificing a hellhound to gain the hellhound's power.
But it has to be a transformation hellhound.
It has to be a hellhound that wasn't originally a hellhound.
It has to be an awakened hellhound.
And then it closes.
Good. Alright, well I'm gonna keep this book. It's my new.
It's Eons actually. My cute little book.
It was an Eons hand.
You said a Nanka didn't you?
Oh you said a Nanka!
What?
Yeah, you said it on to my hands.
Okay well it was an Eons hands.
It was an Eons hands. My bad.
I fucked that up. I fucked that up.
But I have a book with an I.
You literally do!
Give it to Eon if you can please.
Okay, well that's...
I love to read. It's one of my favorite things to do.
You've seen the Jane Austen collection I've got in the bus.
But this is unsettling.
Oh good.
Where did Lucy go?
Oh, I don't know.
I don't know.
Oh good.
Where did Lucy come from Roger?
You know I was just kind of like
kicking around a dumpster after a show.
And she was in there.
In the dumpster.
Lucy, you sweet dumpster puppy, come here.
She runs over wagging her little flamey tail and like rubs up on you.
Where'd you come from?
She looks at you. She looks back at Roger.
She looks at you.
She looks back at Roger.
And then for a second, Roger, you swear you see her wink.
But she could have just been blinking. You're not sure.
Oh good. I thought she was about to talk.
Then like some shit like,
I am the ancient one.
I wasn't going to be ready for that.
Well, we've got a few things to discuss.
Yeah.
Uh huh.
Yeah.
And maybe, maybe, maybe a guy to kill and a church to visit.
Oh yeah.
Cool.
There's also a little bit of context.
There was a lot going on when that guy's body was literally getting ripped in half.
But I want each of you guys just sitting there thinking about this crazy traumatic thing that just happened with all the books and everything.
And you guys are sitting in silence as you're driving in the bus.
And I want each of you guys to roll me kind of like a memory check.
Make me a logic willpower check.
Just real quick.
Here we go.
You got to be to three.
Ian got a one.
Anonka got a three.
Roger, you want to hit it for me?
Out of 11 dice.
I got a one.
That's crazy.
Okay. What was a three?
You meet it.
What I will give you is this.
Ian failed.
Anonka, what I will give you is this.
As the body was being ripped apart, you didn't really see it, but you have a sense that the book came from inside of the body.
Good.
Not from a pocket.
That explains the drippiness when I touched it.
Yes.
Awful lot of blood on this fleshy book.
You kind of put together the maybe he was a book.
This extreme act of violence summoned this thing.
It was so extreme about it.
Ripping a man in half by chaining him to a parking lot light pole.
That was pretty crazy to me.
Before that, he shot off his fucking feet.
What the fuck?
I don't know.
It's like a regular Tuesday.
This is the thing, Turk.
You're trying to reason with a man who so optimized a gas station attendant for the bathroom key.
In the first five episodes of this campaign, indeed, five minutes of this campaign, indeed.
Mundane, says Steve.
Roger, remember, you're always my idiot.
Always remember this.
I mean, Bork Bork.
Yeah, that's what the best says.
Hell puppy farms are the worst.
Man, I wish I could read.
Has to be a rescued hellhound.
Yeah, she was a rescue.
Use your crow vision to read the book, Mira said.
Ooh, that's fun.
I will.
That was actually my thought I was going to do.
Yeah.
So we're going to hop right back into our story.
You guys are now in the bus together.
A lot has happened in the past couple of hours.
A lot of action.
You guys have some decisions to make.
Do you want to go to the Mortalis contact and try to get the key code to be able to kill this fucking guy?
Or do you want to just go right there?
It's up to you guys, but you're in your bus driving around the city as it stands.
What do you guys do?
Discuss.
I get in a key code would probably do us a benefits with.
The limited amount of smarts and visual aids we have in this community.
Yeah, is there any way I could attempt to heal myself?
I'm not looking too good.
Is it?
Is your armor gone?
My arm is gone and half of my health with it.
I can do a heal spell.
It I'm assuming during battle it can heal one box of physical or stun damage per hit on a sorcery plus willpower test.
If we're just in the van, can I spend time healing him up?
Yeah, absolutely.
You can heal up the whole party.
All right.
Yeah.
All right.
But your armor doesn't come back.
Buy new armor.
OK.
But yeah, I think the key code is probably our best bet.
And it would get us closer and on to getting some vengeance, I think, for you.
I like the idea of engines.
I thought you might.
Made a former life just seeking out vengeance.
And I borrowed that book while we're on our way there, Bob.
Bob, if you can get us to this mortalis guy, that would be lovely.
But can I borrow that book on our way?
Yeah, man.
On the way, man.
And he puts his head on the dashboard and steps on it.
She's still holding the book in her hand.
What?
What are you wanting to do with it exactly?
Read it.
Oh, this feels dangerous.
Are you sure?
Yeah, well, listen, my entire life has been like nothing but like being light and happy
and then having everything shafted into darkness.
There's not much more I can get tainted.
I mean, if you feel that confident, sure, I'll hand it over.
And I'm going to I'm going to sit at the table and I'm going to summon out my crow.
To use as my eyes.
Oh.
Hello, little guy.
Oh, Turk is muted.
Let's go back a sec.
That in the edit.
Don't worry about it.
Thanks, though.
Thanks, Mary.
You grab the book and you can't see this, but the rest of the party can.
You put your hands down on the table and each wing, the tattoos on both of your arms,
each wing comes out of your arm and they each form a crow wing.
And then in the center forms an actual crow and it's little claws on the table.
And it looks down at the book and its eyes glow brighter yellow.
And you can see what it sees.
And you can see the book sitting in front of you on the table is the eyes just looking at you and looking around.
Excellent. Yeah.
And I'm just going to have like, listen, I'm just going to have a cursory flip through at this point,
but I'd like to keep studying it as we go just to see if there's any more we can glean from it.
You try to open the book and it won't budge.
You need to make me a conjuring willpower check to open it.
And you need to think about what exactly you want to learn.
Oh, where's my sheet?
There we go.
Got to be a four.
Yeah, more. I'm going to say more about the hell hound ritual.
Like it means like just what do they need the puppy for?
That's zero for me. So nothing.
Oh, it was a four because the thing turned back on.
Yeah.
So you think about the hell hound in the eye close and looks right into the crow's eye and the book flips open.
You can see it and it's kind of a marvel to you because you've been blind for so long.
You don't get to see normal things like this. So this is awesome.
Even the flipping of pages is the coolest thing to see clearly.
And it flips open in front of you and lands on the hell hound pages.
Now that we're on these pages, you already know everything I said before, but to be able to decipher everything,
it's written kind of crudely and it's in a different strange language like imagine thieves can't bunch of triangles and squigglies and all that kinds of shit.
And you know a little bit of that from your magical experience, but I want you to make me a check to see how much you can decipher.
And I want this to be a logic, logic check.
Be the two.
It's a two, which is the same. And you've already spent your couch coin.
So you can't get a success here, but what you can kind of gather a little bit more in depth from these things you already know.
There's a ritual to sacrifice an awakened hell hound.
By doing this, you will gain the power of the awakened hell hound.
With the crew.
Hit it again.
Scratch that one.
You know, none of that.
I'm just kidding.
But I think with with just looking at the pages, I want to call Lucy over just like to have the crow take a long look at Lucy's face.
Since we do know that it may it would have to be a hell hound that wasn't a hell hound originally.
Just take a long look now that I can see Lucy.
What were you before?
I just like scratching her face and just be like, what were you before love?
Not expecting an answer, but just just logic, logic, charisma for me.
All right, it's going to be a very hard roll.
So it's the D12 I'm rolling.
I only got a fucking two on D12.
Jesus Christ.
I got I got five.
You look deeply into Lucy's eyes.
Roger, you're sitting by watching this go down and you're kind of like, why the fuck is this stupid bitch touching my dog?
But the crow looks right at Lucy and you can see that her pupils are not dog pupils.
They're like human eyes for a second.
They're like crystalline blue eyes that have normal pupils in them.
And they look directly at you.
And you can almost see like a tear coming down from their eye.
But then Lucy looks at Roger and goes over and cuddles next to Roger by his feet.
Keep you safe.
She likes me more.
I mean, she's your dog.
I'd hope she did.
Keep her safe.
No matter what she likes me more than you.
I win.
At least one being in this entire world had to like you more than us.
Yeah.
OK.
This scene kind of ends.
Where do you guys put the book when you're done reading through it and stuff?
Oh, it's going with all my other books.
Where's that?
You don't need to know.
I need something.
She doesn't even know where her books are.
No.
So much.
No, much like how Aeon is like she's got the drop down.
That's a coffin where her bed goes.
The underneath of my bed is also hollowed out.
But it's where I keep all my books and stuff.
Nice.
It just goes in like a cupboard of like my mattress lifts up like a bench that has like hidden storage.
Nice.
Is that a Murphy bed?
Yes, it's a little bit.
Essentially, but it never folds up.
Is there like a, you know, cyberpunk kind of like lock and key on it or is it like just a Murphy bed?
It'd be cool if it was some sort of cyber technique where it needs like my fingerprint.
Nice.
Because obviously I had like tones so you could hear it like dee dee dee dee dee dee dee dee dee dee dee dee.
That's the same song from Funky Town. You know what I mean?
It'd just be a do do do do.
Yeah.
Rrrrrr dee dee dee.
Okay.
All right.
The bus comes to a stop.
After all this, you guys step out of the bus.
You can see in front of you a safe house.
It's a non-district building in a quieter part of town.
And as you guys get a little bit more up the walkway, you can see inside of this, it's like a fortress of security measures with reinforced walls and advanced security systems full of technology and floating cameras.
Even as you guys are walking up this walkway, there are little circles that zoom around you guys and scan your bodies and then fly away.
And as you approach the two large doors, there is just a doorbell.
But before you can even ring it, a voice comes through the doorbell and says, yes, what would you like?
Mr. Johnson, St. Us.
Yeah.
Mr. Johnson.
Don't know Mr. Johnson.
Sick.
Um, we're here to see onk stank.
It's Tyler.
Oh, sorry.
Just kidding.
We're here to see Tyler.
Yes.
Okay.
Let me call it up.
And the voice stops for a second.
And there's a few minutes of like anticipation and a little bit of like anxiety because you guys are just standing there in the silence.
You can hear yourself breathing like you guys can hear your own feet like shuffling on.
Yeah.
On the porch like this little bit of anxiety for a minute because nothing is coming back.
But then something comes back and you it's a nice warm like welcoming voice that says, Anonka.
And Roger, Eon, Eon.
Is that you, Eon?
It is.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Come on in.
I'll unlock it for you.
And the doors.
Okay.
Unlocking the doors.
Slide open to the sides.
Very futuristic steel vault doors.
Slide open.
You guys look inside to see this warm lighting with all these beautiful bookshelves just full of books and like robots walking around with like tables of food and snacks and other kinds of things just tending to the home itself.
And coming down from this large spiraling bookcase is this man.
He's a white man with blonde hair, nice scraggly blonde beard, and he's wearing this red velvet robe.
And he's coming down holding this glass of whiskey and he's taking it step by step.
And he's like, Anonka and Roger, Eon.
Hello.
Is this good?
How are you doing, old sport?
Well, he gets to the bottom of the staircase and he's like, well, of course, Eon, you're a friend of mine.
I've always been a friend of mine.
I know your troubles.
You came to my safe house today and I know your troubles.
I've seen what you've been through.
I've followed the band.
I am a fan of metal music myself.
I believe down with the supreme ten.
It's very good.
This song you guys perform, the one about the frosting on the cake with the goblin.
It's a good song.
Thank you.
Thanks.
You're welcome.
I may have some things in store for you today.
But before you let me know what brings you here, may I offer you some drinks as a good host?
Whiskey.
I have whiskey.
I have excuse me.
You've tried one on, haven't you?
You've tried one on quite well.
I have whiskey.
I've got neon brew.
I've got hazy IPA's.
My bots have been brewing my very own special mortalis IPA.
It's very good.
Let us go to the study, he says.
And he shuffles.
As he shuffles, you guys look and see he's wearing these really nice fancy like pink slippers that have like bunny ears on them.
And he's like shuffling.
He's like, you guys shuffle into a study.
There's this big brown like oak desk and like a beautiful like reddish leather chair that he sits in and puts his feet up on.
And he puts his feet up.
You can see these like calluses and sores clearly from like work boots that he's been working hard.
You guys have caught him on his day off.
And he goes, what can I do?
You should be part of this faction.
What can I do you for?
Oh, we're we're looking for some information from you.
If you would be so kind as to help us.
Yes, Eon, anything for you.
But before I give you some information, maybe we may discuss a little bit.
I know what went down with you and Mortalis, what with your awakening and your vampiric curse.
Just so you know, a lot of us are fine with it.
There's a big percentage of Mortalis that are only after destroying dark, fake creatures, those that seek to do evil and those that are good.
We'd like to keep.
And, you know, of course, a lot of them still think they aren't welcome, but we don't want to harm them.
And there's a few of us that are trying to start a rebellion, you know, to to bring in some friends.
I've actually got a werewolf friend of mine, Steve, and I'm trying to bring him in and, you know, get him and get him into Mortalis.
But a step at a time.
Just you're welcome here is what I'm trying to say.
And a lot of us still think you're welcome here.
You've done so much good work taking down so many different dark, fake creatures and killing so many things over the years that you're welcome here.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
And of course, the old chief, you know, very old school guy.
You and him had a lot of issues back in the day.
He's still alive and kicking.
I think maybe once he dies, we'll be good to go.
You know, just you'll get some laying it on a bit.
Look, I got it.
It's been a long time since I've seen my friend.
But you're right.
I will stop.
Any whom.
What are you here for?
We need a door code.
The door code for.
Vice Admiral.
We're for the Supreme 10 that took down the Tia Bunty compound about 20 odd years ago.
The Tia Bunty compound was legendary.
It was sad.
What happened to those people?
You know, yeah, rumor has it there's still some Tia Bontys out there, you know, fighting and.
It's sad that piece of shit deserves to die.
Well, you're in luck because that's what we've been sent to do.
Nice.
What was that?
What's the vice leader's name?
God damn it, Connor.
It is punk stank thumbledunt.
Well, me, Tyler, I've got an in with punk stank thunderbunt and.
You know, I've worked my way up through the ranks with punk stank thunderbunt.
We did some jobs for him, taking down some dark fail a little while ago, you know, as runners out there doing the things.
And I do know the key code to punk stank thunderbunt's office, and I can provide it to you guys.
But I mean, what you come into my home here at what midnight you want this for me?
I mean, what are you going to do for me here?
I mean, what's what's the trade?
Taking down the vice leader of the Supreme Ten isn't good enough for you.
Why don't you make me a charisma check there, young boy?
You know that he hates this guy, so this kind of makes sense.
Yeah, charisma, charisma.
Oh, I got a three.
You only got a two.
He goes, yeah.
Now, of course, I hate that fucking guy.
I mean, punk stank thunderbunt's a piece of shit and he deserves to die.
But what do you say?
You just owe me a favor.
Oh, see, the problem with that is I don't have a lot of faith in this organization, despite all of your reassurances today.
Seems kind of like maybe are there specifics to this favor?
Because I don't know.
I don't know.
Well, that's fair.
I do understand that Mortalis has been known to kill those who don't need to be killed.
But I could just call you in to kill somebody, steal something for me, you know, snatch and grab.
What have you?
Give me some data.
Answer a question.
You know.
Ian's going to look at Anonka and go, how bad do we need this code?
I mean, I'm fine to kill this guy, too, if we need to.
He worked for Pond Scum Scuba Tank.
You know, that's who knows he wasn't there on the day of the massacre.
So I'm fine with taking out the whole bloodline of anybody who was involved.
You worked up the ranks with him.
You're no better alive to me than you are, did Tyler.
Did you did you have anything to do with that attack specifically?
Not at all.
But I seen it go down.
I'm not going to say that I would like to completely innocent, though.
What would you like to do?
Yeah, it's more callous.
Of course, you're not completely innocent.
And they, yeah, you don't draw the line.
Where do you draw the line?
Oh, one fairy calls you a name in high school and then you take him down
out back and shoot him like old yeller.
I know your type, you prejudiced bunch of thugs.
OK, analyze truth.
What role do you make?
It is. I don't know.
It just says analyze truth.
In fact, Castor can determine whether or not subject is telling the truth.
We've known this before.
I think it's just an action.
It just takes an action.
So like a sorcery willpower role?
Yeah, yeah, I think so.
He's a very strong character.
So let's do it.
Oh, my God.
So many goddamn ones.
There's so many ones, dude.
Look, chat.
Don't write it right.
Roger will roll his dice and get 17 above what is physically possible.
Do you want to use it?
I see you guys are struggling with this.
Shape the fuck up, Amy.
Reroll it.
God damn it.
Doing it.
Oh, my fucking God.
Well, I'll see myself out.
You guys have a good time.
He's like, oh, should we use the bathroom?
I said, you know what?
Yeah, you want us to kill a dude.
That's what I've been hearing.
What I got to say is that I'm not going to say I'm completely innocent.
I was not a part of the job that had killed all those Genasi on the beach that day.
But I do feel like a part of me, I could have stopped it and it eats away at me every day.
There's a lot of kids that died, you know,
just for being awakened fucking supreme 10 assholes.
So if I can call upon you guys for a favor, I will gladly give you the key code.
Gladly.
If this favor has nothing to do with killing somebody that we don't want to kill.
We agree to a snatch and grab favor.
If I call you for a favor that you don't want to do, you can say no.
But the favor will continue.
Hmm.
I say snatch and grab favor and that's it.
Would you be amenable to that?
Yes, absolutely.
All right, we'll do it.
All right.
He slides you a piece of paper.
After he writes down the code, and it's some crazy amount of numbers.
It's like 14, 57, 53, 92, whatever.
It's pretty crazy.
It's like 10 digits.
And he's like, OK, then the deed is done.
Do you guys want anything on your way out or?
Nope.
All right.
Do you two not wake up and do you have anything to sell?
Maybe in the terms of armor?
I do have some things.
Come with me, my goblin friend.
And he goes over to a bookshelf and pulls a book back.
And a bookshelf opens all crazy technology and it's like, and there's like steam that comes out.
And behind this bookshelf is like this big row.
Yeah, exactly.
Like weapons and stuff.
And then there's just like a bunch of like leather armors, like on little coat hangers.
And he's like, would you like to buy some nice leather armors or?
Would you be willing to make a trade?
For money, yes.
Oh.
Well, what do you have?
Oh, fuck.
Well, I mean, I was going to give you this big fucking handgun I have.
I'll give you a handgun for some leather armor.
Sure.
Why not?
OK, cool.
Yeah.
Hands you leather jacket.
To keep it simple and easy, just refill your armor slots.
And he takes your gun from you and he puts it on the shelf and then pulls the book back.
And it shuts.
Yeah.
Handy for leather armor.
There you go.
He's like, all right, friends.
Well, I'll see you soon.
This is Tyler signing off.
And he shuts the doors behind you.
Thanks, buddy.
Remember to eat the rich.
Eat the rich.
That's right.
You guys go back to the problem.
You have the code now.
All right.
Well, this is what we're hitting.
We're going to go kill them on.
You could just turn that kill a man.
Turned on.
You guys hop on the bus and you drive together, all of you in the front seat with intense anticipation.
Looking out the window of this office building that's slowly approaching over the horizon.
Eventually, after a few minutes of driving, you approach it.
The bus comes to a stop in the parking lot across the street.
You guys cross the street and reach it.
The office building in front of you is a sleek, modern structure with glass walls and high tech security.
Inside, you can see the lobby looks pristine with marble floors and a holographic receptionist.
At the very front of the door, there are two opening glass doors.
But in the center, there's a large key code pad.
Now, all over the course of this thing we're about to do together, there's a lot of options and a lot of ways you guys can get through things.
So please feel free to ask me questions as what may or may not be there and what you might see and stuff like that.
If I do not explain it and you have an idea, please feel free to ask me questions.
But that's what's in front of you now.
As we approach the door, I'm going to slip on my cloak of invisibility.
Nice.
Once we get inside, I have an idea, but I'll wait until we actually enter the building.
Cool.
And for clarification, your cloak just helps with stealth.
It's not like exact invisibility.
Yeah, it adds two dice to stealth checks.
Nice. Okay. Very good. Very good.
All right. Go ahead, Ian.
I'm essentially using it as a way to keep my body safe, even when I ask to project.
It just makes my body less noticeable.
Nice. All right.
Do you guys want me to go up there and put in the code as a bat?
Do vampires show up on camera? I'm confused as the lower are there.
That's a very good question.
Chat, what do we think? Who's a mod? Who can run a poll?
Oh, the vampire show up on camera.
That is a very good question. Who can run a poll? Run me a poll.
You're good.
Hell yeah.
I can dance a poll without a shield. Yes, you can be down.
Insert stripper poll.
There you go. You got one minute.
You guys can feel free to vote as well if you want.
Is this it?
Well, I mean, nice. Imagine you guys are going to want to take this stealth approach.
Possibly.
I'm going to go for disguises.
Oh, that is excellent work.
Yeah. Hell yeah. Hell yeah.
Can I actually would like to approach the front door of this place and knock?
Nice. OK, let's wait for this poll to finish.
Damn, such a close race. 101 say yes. Vampires can be seen on camera.
OK, that's fair.
You approach the door and you knock.
And it looks like a man, a receptionist of kind, comes out wearing a very nice bow tie and a suit.
He looks at you through the glass and he goes, guys.
Hello, sir. My name's Terry and I am on foreign exchange field trip.
And I'm getting to learn this city like it's the back of my hand.
Would you mind give me a tour of your house?
Because I need to know what this area's housing looks like.
I love the man with no charisma is doing a deception check, but I need you to do me a charisma charisma check right now.
Beat it to.
I literally have to do both of them.
Both successes plus a couch coin. That's the only way this will work.
No failures. He goes, yeah, get on. We're not doing tours right now.
And he walks away. But sir, you didn't even ask me where I was from.
You're not going to ask me where I'm from, sir. Where are you from?
Texas.
Open the fucking door.
He's like, bulletproof glass, my man.
I'll be the judge of that. Yes, you will.
I sure hope whatever I'm doing is enough of a distraction for anybody else out there that's willing to, you know, act against this foreign body.
OK, let's zoom over to Ian and Anonka. What are you guys doing?
Anonka, is there anything you can do to project?
Well, I mean, if I was in the building, it'd be a bit better to get the idea.
But I mean, really, we just need to get the code into the door so we can get in.
So a quick question is, is the code for the door that we're currently like or that Roger is currently at?
From the way it was explained to you by Pickles and Mr. Johnson, the code works to all the doors.
It's a very complicated code that works everywhere.
All right. Hang on. Wait here.
And I'm going to turn into a bat and go to the where the code is and try to put it in.
OK, go slap right into the glass.
Yeah. All right.
Roger's holding up his gun at this guy like on the side and you're inputting the code over here on the side.
It's a long code. It's a long sequence of events.
It's just like deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep.
It's like, you going to shoot or what?
Because. Yeah, that's what I thought.
And then. You eventually get the code in and the door turns green like it's ready to be opened.
And then I just walk forward.
I don't even bother to put my hand out to like touch the door.
I just bang my gun into it and it opens.
And then as soon as my gun clears the edge of the door, I shoot him in the face.
Jesus. OK.
Roll me a small arms check.
Beat a three.
You got it. Use them small arms.
That's a one. That's a one.
Come out.
Which does it to.
He jumps out of the way.
Turns out the receptionist was a ninja.
He pulls out two samurai swords.
He's like, bring it on, motherfucker.
And he lunges the sword.
I'm going to quickly go back to Anonka and get her to come with me back.
Feels earned.
OK. You got to make me a logic agility check and beat a three or he's going to stab you with the sword.
Damn it.
You take four piercing damages. He stabs you.
Physical damage.
What then? How about you leave?
We roll that.
We roll your logic agility.
Dance.
Rage face.
How about that, motherfucker?
You're going to leave?
You want some more of this?
You stabbed me right in my Texas sized liver.
All right.
We're going to cut back to Eon and Anonka.
You fly back over.
At this point, I'd like to have Eon actually just guide me into the building where Roger is.
The ninja fighting.
I'm going to grab her hand and run.
Nice.
You guys run into the building.
You open the glass doors and you run past where they're fighting.
He looks and sees you and you're running.
He's like, hey, hey, and you guys run over.
There's a staircase and there is an elevator.
Do we really trust the blind woman on God knows how many flights of stairs?
I mean.
Press the button and we'll see what happens.
We'll give it a couple of seconds.
Sure.
I'll press the button.
Push the button and it starts coming down from the top.
It's like four floors up.
You cut back to Roger.
Roger.
There's only four floors.
Oh, I was thinking this was like a 30th floor office building.
That's not what we get for letting the blind women think.
Yeah.
Roger, what do you do?
Well, in the middle of him being distracted by looking at these two, I'm going to sneak my gun into his mouth while he's saying, hey.
Nice.
Make me small arms check.
Oh my God.
Beta three.
Oh, that's a two.
He spits it out and goes, what?
And tries to stab you.
The fuck?
He got a one on attack.
Agility logic.
That's a two.
You dodge out of the way.
He's like, yeah.
I don't know why you're here, goblin delivery man cowboy from Texas with a gun.
What I will tell you is this is not a place to be messed with.
And he holds up his hand and he's got a big red button in his hand.
He's like, I can call security at any second and they'll be right here.
You see them automated turrets on the wall?
They'll do a lot of damage to our office, but it's worth it.
To get rid of goblin cowboy delivery man like you.
Oh man.
Okay.
You got me, man.
That's I don't want that to happen.
Just kidding.
I don't give a fuck.
Die.
Okay.
Well, it is he's the new shop.
But now we're going back to Eon and Anonka.
It's about one four way.
Ding.
Can I reach back there and.
Hmm.
Yeah, no, I'm just going to reach out toward the guy and send out a man,
a bolt at him and be like, Roger, stop fucking around.
Nice.
I love that.
You got to.
I got a four on D six.
That's that sucks.
I'm so sorry.
But Tom Q's three year old Emmy.
No, real turkey.
Shit.
Oh, it's still a three.
Motherfucker.
So you shoot the bolt out and it almost gets his hand and he moves it back.
He's like, who's that?
This is my button.
Oh, I meant Turkey.
Did you really beat down?
I got a two.
OK.
You shoot out your man a bolt.
It hits him in the wrist and his hand with the button falls to the ground.
He's like, oh, my hand.
And there's just a hand and a button on the ground.
Now it's Roger's turn.
Well, I was going to shoot you.
But now that this has happened, I'm going to grab the button.
You're going to dodge rolling, grab his bleeding hand, make me an agility, agility check.
Beat a three.
Fourteen dice.
Seven.
OK, good.
All right, you jump over and grab the hand and you run over the elevator as it opens.
Oh, shit.
And there's just a businessman standing in the elevator as you three pile into the elevator.
Roger's just holding a bleeding hand.
And I really want to paint this picture.
Hold on.
That's so fucking funny to me.
He's going back up with you guys and you're just standing with him.
He's like.
What's up, dude?
So like the weather.
I'm going to let out a huge fart.
He's like.
He says Chris display.
And then the door opens and you three pile out onto the fourth floor.
He's like the doors.
Wait, before the elevator door closes, I'm going to toss him the cowboy hat.
Looks like it's all covered in blood and shit.
On this first floor office, you guys look around, you can see there are just around the corner as you step out.
A guard walks around the corner.
So you can tell the guards are patrolling this whole fourth floor area.
There's a long hallway of a bunch of different offices.
One of these has to be upon scamp bitch asses office.
But which one is it?
Is there a janitor's closet near the elevator?
You bet.
Yes, there is.
Perfect. I'm just going to pop in.
She just pops into the janitor's closet and closes it behind.
You two stand in front of the elevator.
No, I'm going to jump on the ceiling with my freaky parkour powers and crawl around like a demon.
You say that out loud, but we cut over to Anonka.
What are you doing in the janitor's closet?
I'm using my clairvoyance to actually scope out the floor.
Nice. OK.
The effect, the caster can see distant locations as if they were there.
Hell yeah.
I don't think you have to make a roll for this either, do you? It's just like astral projection.
No, it's my shadow amp.
OK. But I want to see how hidden you are in this closet.
So you want to make me a stealth check wearing your cloak?
Sure.
Cool. Just beat a three and you get plus 2d6 to this.
Stealth check, which stealth was agility logic, I think.
Is that what it was?
I have. Well, that's the thing. I also have a skill that is stealth.
Oh, nice. OK. Then yeah, absolutely use that for sure.
And then I'll just add two from my shadow amps to it.
Cool. Hell yeah.
Six.
Six?
Deep down dark in there and you're pretty hidden and you begin to meditate.
And you float through all these offices.
You too can sense Ananka's presence as she rushes out of the breeze, rushes out of the janitor's closet.
And you start going down all the hallways like super fast.
The first one you zoom into, it's like the first door on the left.
There's a businessman having sex with the secretary and you're like, and you zoom out of that one.
The next one you go into, the next man's playing like RuneScape on his computer, like super old school.
Definitely not him. You zoom out of that one.
The next one you go into, it's just full of weird office supplies and boxes and nonsense.
And then the fourth room you zoom into is like real fancy.
It's got like extra plants. It's got like a window view to the outside city.
And there's a man with a real long beard sitting in a really nice chair looking at his computer.
Can I walk around? Can I go around to see what he's looking at his computer?
Yeah, hell yeah.
You go around to look, you like pinch your eyes in.
It looks like he's looking at something about finances with the Supreme Ten.
And there's like arrows going up and down. And there's like a big arrow going all the way up.
And at the top of the arrow that goes up, it says, summoning of the Dark One.
And you say this is the farthest door in the hallway.
Yeah, fourth door.
That's the weirdest Pornhub category I've ever heard.
Summoning the Dark One. You've never watched butthole stuff.
Oh, not on that level, I don't think.
Yeah, it's a fun game you can play. Is this a rose or a prolapsed anus? It's a great game.
Ah, it's like, yeah, compare this picture, you know?
Yeah.
These are both the same pictures.
Mm-hmm.
All right, you tell me what you guys do.
All right, so I'm gonna... I'm gonna pop back to my body.
And peek my head back out of the closet and be like, he's in the final room, the fourth door.
Oh.
Just as you say that, there's a guard in full like, guard outfit, like with a helmet that has like glass on it and everything.
He's just about to come around the corner. You can hear his footsteps.
Into the closet!
Bat form.
We all crab in the closet.
I jump on the ceiling now!
I land in Anonka's hair.
Do you have the ability to jump on the ceiling, Roger?
Well, I have parkour. Hold on, that's one of my things.
Parkour is not spider climb.
No, it's not spider climb, but there should be shit up there I can grab, like reaching in between the fucking...
You know how that particle board ceiling shit is in offices?
Very true. Very true.
I am a small, tiny guy.
So you're gonna try to scale up the wall and jump through the particle board.
No, I'm thinking like I... I'm thinking like I fucking run and jump off of a cubicle in the room.
And just like, heavy up and swing up.
All right, well, roll knee and agility then, my friend. Agility, agility, let's do it.
All right, that's 14 dice, homie.
All right, beat it too.
Holy shit!
That's a one. You got a one.
Glitch dies if I...
Time to choose to reroll, Connor.
Oh fuck, beat down.
Should have left it.
Oh, Thor sneezes in and it finally happened, Connor.
Bad roll night.
That's a five. Tell us what happens.
It just feels nice.
Well, just as the guard is rounding the corner, she turns into a bat and she's, you know, invisible.
I jump off of this cubicle, grab the ceiling and swing up and just stick to the ceiling.
And he walks by, you hear him like... everything seems clear.
And as he says that, he's like looking around and you're just right above him, Roger, as he's like, everything's clear.
And then he continues walking down the hallway and hits the corner.
Roger's got old melted cheese on the bottom of his shoes.
He's sticking to the frickin' ceiling.
That's pretty good.
I just imagine I like, I kick through the ceiling with my feet and it's just like, I'm like toe holding.
Stopping the scaffolding from falling, you're like...
Yeah.
Yeah. Okay.
Does that guard leave totally?
Yeah, yeah, he leaves totally.
As soon as he leaves, the entire fucking ceiling just comes down with me.
And you guys open the door and Roger's just like...
Alright, what do you guys do?
Which direction did the guard go? Toward the door?
So I pictured like three hallways, one in the center, one on the left, and one on the right. So he went around to the right.
Okay.
And we just have to go down the center one, correct?
Yes, correct.
Let's do it, let's go get him.
You guys rush down to the center, to door number four. You're standing on the outside. What do you do?
Is there a keypad?
Yes.
Want to do this?
Oh, let's...
Beep-boop-beep-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop.
Remember the code is 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9.
Zero.
It's a 10 to decode.
The lock turns green
You open the door and right away like hey who's that disturbing me who's there Oh
Hello, mr. Porn cut scum scuba tank. How are you this evening punder dunks scuba dunk to you?
I'm just gonna casually walk across the room and sit in a chair in front of his desk. Ah
Like hello, sir, I I I'm so pleased you could make some time for us this evening
Should I should I call security I can call down the door
I'm just gonna walk across the room and sit in a chair in front of his desk. Ah
I think I should call security. I can call down to the front lobby and have our man call security immediately
You mean this guy and I hold up his arm with the button in it. Yeah. Oh no
Okay, what do you want
What are people with a very specific interest in what you do, sir?
Yes
specifically an incident
Specifically an incident about 20 years ago. Hmm
20 20 remember
You know a certain genosse massacre
Yes, I mean there was a lot of massacres 20 years ago
Yeah
But only one of them involved to me
You who are you
Well, you see
I'm one of the remaining Tia bunties
passed over
Because I was seen as defective for being blind
But I still had to lose every single person I loved and cared about
Every single person that made my life a joy and
You thrust me upon a universe
That is controlled by hate
in prejudice
The communes were a happy place do you mean
Only remaining
Well, you pass me by
And as far as I know
Not a single one of us has ever found each other again
Look I know you're here to kill me
Let me live. Oh, not yet. Yeah. Yeah, I
Can guide you to other
Tia Bundy's
Analyze truth
Oh, okay strong guy so beta one. Oh
God without tonight's oh my god
Seven
When he says that you can see that
He's telling the truth and he believes that he knows of other Tia bunties that are still alive
I'm gonna put my hand on Ananka's shoulder and kind of whisper
He believes what he said
That's assuming I cared about what he believes
And I'm just gonna unfurl my mono filament whip
Oh cool
Roger I'm gonna say I'm gonna sit in his office chair backwards and
Probably had some snacks in here. That's pretty cool
Continue
I
The anger builds up inside of you for this man
It's very intense very hot very
Raging you know you think about the childhood you could have had the things you could have learned
the ways of the Genasi that you still are unaware of and
As you feel this way your body kind of begins to vibrate you look down at your own body
And they're shaking the tattoos on your right and left arm are vibrating above the skin
Ready to unleash
Yeah, okay, let's do this my feathered friend
And I'm essentially going to
Physically just emotionally release into like channeling it into my necklace
And letting letting the bird free in this moment
Give him the bird
Give him the bird. I'm giving him the bird when you
Take a deep breath outward the tattoos rise from your arms
Formed together and then fly right at this man's face and begin pecking out his eyes as he screams
The bird stops standing on its chest and looks back at you for confirmation
Oh, yes, let him be blinded as I was
I
Bites out his eyes completely and he's bleeding from his face and he's like
I can't see
What
Home next then your ears
And the bird pries open his mouth
Grabs his tongue rips it out eats it like a worm
Puts its beak in his ears
Rips out his ears
It's a very gruesome moment as you guys are watching and rogers just eating chips
Just watching this whole thing go down like this is the theater show for roger
But it is fucking brutal and by the end he's left lump in his chair missing his eyes missing his nose
Missing his face just pieces everywhere and the bird flies back into you and you do feel a sense of relief
but then also a
little bit of sadness like
This went down but like is this it is this what you wanted
What does this what what this what does this achieve?
What does this achieve?
Yeah, Bartlett's young the guy that's what was achieved. Oh it achieved so much it's catharsis
But there's more to be done
Hmm he's a peon peon you push the body in the chair to the side and you log on to the computer
And uh
You pull out a drive that mr. Johnson gave you and plug it into the computer and it begins downloading all the files
And you guys stand together in this office
Oh, no, i'm pretending to like hack i'm fully like pretending like hacking into the mainframe
He's just swatting your hand stop it somebody get me a fire extinguisher for this firewall
Oh, I'm a hacker
As things begin to finish it's at about like 80 percent and uh, you hear over the speakers here in the office
um a familiar voice it's the ninja from the
perceptionist room and he says uh
There's intruders
intruders
intruders in the building
There's a cowboy goblin delivery man. I don't know they have my hand
Get them
And the alarm goes off
Wait, how did the alarm go off?
Well, there I think that's only one yeah
I was gonna say roger accidentally press the button while trying to
Is there an is there an intercom in his office like a that's connected to the pa for the building?
Uh, let me see
Hmm let me roll it again
Yes, yes there is if there's any time you could not sound like you please no
Um, i'm gonna turn that on and i'm gonna go
Everyone that was the intruder they have hacked into our pa system
The intruders are at reception. I repeat the intruders are at reception
I think that got it roll me charisma charisma
fuck
Beat a four
He can't beat the four unless chat gives him the four
Unless chat gives him two couch coins to spend. That's the only possible way. Oh my god
It's the only way chat
Couch coin that's one morgues just redeem couch coin one. You got three couch coins. You can spend them all
Couch coin spend them all dm steve underscore forge of law just redeem couch coin or five. That's five couch coins
couch coin
Expand them all just redeem couch coin connor
Okay, these are the couch coins for the successes sir underscorp you just redeem couch coin
Roger you have to do the han solo line though, then we'll give it to you couch coin
Everything is normal here. Everything's super great. Normal. Uh,
Everything's uh normal here. Um, we're we're all doing fine
How are you?
Echoes throughout the speakers the alarms come to a stop
And the mic hits the usb drive hits 100% eon you pull it out
Dm steve underscore forge of law just redeem couch coin that deserves one more you've got all the information
Now you guys need to make your exit. You're on the fourth floor
Um, I also do want to preface by saying when you got to this fourth floor this whole fourth floor is surrounded by glass
It's all windows
Um, and you can even see out this office. There's a window view out down to the city if that's any use to you guys
How do you guys escape?
Do the windows open?
No, no they don't
Is this also bulletproof glass like downstairs?
Do you want to check
That can I throw an office chair at it?
Yeah, you throw an office chair at it. Um six and it's not or
Uh four five or six and it's not
That's a one. Yeah, they're bulletproof glass. Fuck son of a bitch. I hate that. You know what?
No, dm rule. They're not bulletproof glass. The chair goes flying out the window
Oh
Down onto the city cool
Are there any nice shards of glass that are still just sticking up in the frame where it was?
Sure. Yeah
Can I take the body of the the fucking guy we kill walk over
and uh, like pierce him through the stomach with that glass and then
Pull out his entrails
Throw him over and pull out his uh, his intestines like a rope
That's the most this is the most brutal fucking bit of an episode I think we've ever had fucking metal dude
This is the most brutal shit. This is pretty metal
Yeah, okay. Well you do that, but if you want to descend down on his long intestine
I'm gonna need you to make me an agility agility check because it's a slippery baby
And uh, you gotta beat a three
Here's 14 dice
That's a six you make it down to the bottom and you see your friends up there at the top what do you guys do?
Uh, are you able to do any kind of floaty thing? I was gonna see if my
Uh
Oh, you are literally half the size of me you don't but i'm three times as strong
You
You jump further into the office and that's how roger died
Roger died by cooter to the face slamming him into pavement
And that's how I want to go good way to go
Oh it turns out you do know where the g-spot is, uh, anyway, I'm just gonna look at it
Yeah, yeah
So i was gonna see if my feathered friend would be able to allow me to borrow its wings just to like float
Like your whip pull make me a check glide down. Make me a check would you like conjuration willpower?
Oh, that never goes well for me three beat a three
That's a two set all right so the bird doesn't respond
That's fair
Damn steve underscore for just low used real fly you fool fly you fool
Oh
God what a good moment in that movie. I didn't rewatch lord of the rings. It's so good. Was that the hobbit could have been the hobbit
fly
That's still a two that's still a two lousers
Fellowship of the ring. Thank you b town. Um, okay that doesn't work. Do you have another idea?
Uh, yeah, I mean the whip is another idea if I can get
If I can lash it around the neck of this deceased man
and uh
Well, they're talking about all this i'm running to the van or the bus and i'm backing it up
Unless just redeem catch coin where they're coming down from
If you get one more couch coin, you will be able to succeed on this. This is up for chat to decide
Um because I got a three you have a two you need two more to beat my three
That's very good. It's very good. Okay, roger you're running you guys look down
You can see roger running across this parking lot couch coin single godland
underscore for just law just redeem couch coin
I love that
I know uh, uh, uh, uh, I know that was a blast beat. I've i've missed my calling as a dogstep artist
magical moment
What do you say to the bird?
You fulfilled my wishes
To take down our enemy
But now it is time to flee
And I seek
The wind beneath your wings
It says
Back to you
Yes
Now it's your time
to fulfill mine
And the wings come out of your arms and you fly out of the office building not in the direction of the bus but off into the city
Oh so long eon, what do you do? Um
And i'm gonna take off after anonka
What the fuck
in the bus by yourself roger with
Fucking bob zombie you get a message that says for mr. Johnson it says
Excellent work kids. We got confirmation that the target is dead
Confirm this data with us
Once we have it we'll see if this is exactly what we needed
We're getting closer to bringing down the supreme 10
Keep up the good work and we'll see this through to the end
All of you
Eight more karma points
Congratulations
And the bus drives off into the city
And that's where we end it for tonight y'all
Oh shit
Yay
So we're gonna take our last break and we're gonna come back for a breakdown everybody
Breakdown, um, we're gonna come right back for that
Um don't go anywhere
Should be fun
There's a lot of questions to be answered and a lot of things that happened character wise
And if you guys can chat of any questions
Make sure to hang out for them
And also we're gonna do our faction battle
So if you haven't voted in the comments
So if you haven't voted in your faction's chat
Please go ahead and do so in discord
And we'll be right back in a few minutes
Cheers heroes
Followers, followers, followers
Subscribers, resubscribers
The protest meetup
Cheers
The blow ambulance
The
Metal Omnicon
Roger finds his soul in his own dog
Aeon King
Realizes that being a vampire
Isn't as easy as it seems
And Anonka
Finally finds where the bathroom is
Thanks to Braille
Tune in next time on met-
Oh and Turkey finally decides
To uh
Put super glue in his mustache
Until the next time of Metal Omnicon