Well hello everybody, welcome back to Love, Death and Dice, The Wild Beyond.
Tonight, believe it or not, is episode 10.
So you aren't allowed to run around in Riot, not just yet, but very soon we will run around
in Riot together.
Tonight, of course, we have a very fun fantastical story, but I'm gonna put it out here out
front to all of you guys.
We only have about four episodes left of this here campaign.
Yes, we do, that's it, that's all we've got left because around here we do 10 to 15
episode campaigns.
That's what we do.
We have small little bite-sized stories for you to sink your fucking teeth into, and this
ever-growing world of lore that we are all building together with a forge.
I would call it even a forge of lore.
That's right, so thank you all so much for joining us.
You guys fucking rock.
Of course I am Turk, your Dungeon Master for the night, and I'm here with the lads.
Say hello lads.
Hello lads.
Yeah.
Connor, proteus and fish.
Holy shit, I just had a great idea for a bard character.
Yes?
Yes.
Very good.
Hear me out.
Okay.
You're being heard.
Instead of a Luke.
Playing a great bard character?
Instead, yeah, I know, well, yes, hold on.
But if I ever play one in the future, I'm gonna buy a snare drum and a hi-hat.
Oh god.
And all I do is, as soon as I hear a joke, I'm just, like, I just do that the whole fucking
time.
The entire campaign.
Oh no.
That's pretty good, man.
I don't like it.
That's pretty good.
It will be no pee-pee show.
There is no pee-pee show.
Spiced has formally left the Grouch Couch to focus on their own stuff, so there's no
pee-pee show.
But we do have in the works a fun way to start doing new recaps and other kinds of stuff
like that, so just be well aware that that's where we're at right now.
In a realm where whimsy reigns supreme, the Witchlight Carnival lights up our dreams.
Yes, Magic Carnival, its tents so grand.
Inside a way to the Feywild land.
But secrets lurk, neath its merry band.
We must unravel its mysteries hand in hand.
Through forests deep and fields of gold.
In search of truths, both young and old.
Fairies fly and tales unfold.
Adventure awaits for the brave and bold.
Beauty and wonder laugh and cheer.
But shadows linger and whisper smear.
Through twists and turns and paths unclear.
The Wild Beyond where magics deal.
So gather your courage, don't delay.
Embark on this whimsical journey, they say.
Where every step leads a different way to the Wild Beyond.
Come and play.
No, well, I could still hear you.
Yeah, it was like a bass drop in the intro and Connor parted at the same time.
It was crazy, you guys.
It was hot as fuck.
He said, oh, we're mic'd up.
He has a mighty wind behind him.
Yeah, he does.
Especially since, like, I've recently nared my ass cheeks, so there's, like, no muffling
whatsoever.
You ain't got no buffer zone anymore.
What a good way to start a stream there, Reiner.
What a good way.
Oh, not for me.
It stinks in here.
What are you talking about?
We're all in the same room, very clearly.
We can all smell it.
Sure you do.
So, boys and girls, calm down on the court.
Calm on the court.
As we last left off, you three just managed to take down the second hag.
It's not the right kind of music for us.
So we last left off, you guys managed to take down the second hag.
A lot of things happened, as well as Violet getting recognized as the Princess of the
Fae for being crowned at the Witchlight Carnival.
Dr. Hopps got a brand new Fire Elemental earring, along with a ring that they can use to control
said Fire Elemental, and Reiner bondaged up the hag, and it was insane.
Completely stopping a total encounter.
Now you guys freed all of the children and are now headed back to the treant on your
carriage being pulled by your owlbear, known as P. Townsend.
Maybe this is better.
Cool.
So, while you guys are being pulled, I'm gonna start us off right away with something fun
as hell.
Oh shit, Pizza Death!
Oh my god!
Wait, wait, wait, can I read?
I don't even remember what this does.
Become Calp's Royalty!
Gain the VIP badge here on Twitch.
Your name will be put in our Twitch About section.
You will gain a special Discord role and gain access to a prize in chat.
And you're the first one, Pizza of Death!
Holy shit!
50,000 points!
I'm gonna get that set up for you.
Not today, but soon, my friend, and you will get all the things.
Sick!
This is why Pizza of Death derails the entire Crash Catch production!
Yes, yes indeed.
Saving up all my points.
Well, you can do whatever you want, my friend.
Do whatever you want.
That's fucking awesome.
It's fucking awesome.
So, as you guys are going about on your carriage being pulled by Pete Townsend, you have all
your friends with you.
You've got Acton, the other Herongon, you've got your couple little mushroom friends, you've
got your cats and your baby Displacer Beast with you, and you guys are riding along enjoying
yourselves.
But as you are, there's a mist in the sky.
A rainbow that goes over.
And you look at the ground, you look up, and it says, rainbow is going over.
Sparkles are falling down, and it looks like everything is regaining color.
Like everything seems more beautiful in front of you.
And then through the sky, all these sparkles fall.
And then clops right in front of you as the unicorn lands.
And next to the unicorn is the unicorn's husband that you freed.
Did he turn back from a rocking horse?
He's no longer a rocking horse?
From what you can see, that is correct.
But the male unicorn is still missing his horn.
It's completely off of his head.
And he's standing back in front of you as a unicorn.
Yes.
One of them is black with beautiful shimmering skin, and the other one is white with beautiful
fur, not skin.
And the lady looks at you.
She says, as a tale of reciprocity, you three, I believe a debt is owed.
For I promised, if you were to relieve my husband of his capture, that I would bestow
upon each one of you a blessing.
And I'm here to give back my part of the deal.
Will, each one of you roll me a D8.
First, we'll do hops.
Hops is first.
That's an eight.
Very good, very good, very good.
As the unicorn flails around its tail, it turns around, its tail goes up, and fairy
dust comes out of its ass.
Eww.
It gets you right in the face.
Rainbow fairy dust.
And it bestows a blessing on you.
A blessing in boon of quick casting.
You may now choose one of your spells, first through third level, that has a casting time
of one action.
And now that spell becomes one bonus action for you.
Roll me a D8, Proteus.
And let me know what spell you try.
I also got a knight.
Okay, well I'm not giving you that, but I'll give you the seven, because it doesn't work
for you.
You get, as the unicorn farts in your face, glitter.
And you get the boon of luck.
Now once per day, you can add a D10 to any ability check, attack roll, or saving throw
that you make.
Once per day, you get an extra D10, so you can just use to add to anything.
Excellent.
Well that'll be useful for all the low rolls I get.
So true.
All right now, roll me a D8.
This middle is a road.
Okay.
You get the boon of fate as it farts on you.
When another creature that you can see that is within 60 feet of you makes an ability
check, an attack roll, or a saving throw, you can roll a D10 and apply the result as
a bonus or a penalty to their roll.
But once you use this boon, you can't use it again until you finish a short rest.
The boon of fate.
Is this like real D&D things that I can put on?
Yes indeed.
The boon of fate.
I don't know if you can equip it to your character sheet, but it is a real thing.
Yes.
Glitter made Reiner sneeze.
Embrace the unicorn farts!
Yes.
Yes indeed.
Now have you decided on a spell, Hopps?
Yeah, we're getting the guiding belt.
Guiding belt is now a bonus action.
That's pretty sick, dude.
It's pretty sick.
Hell yeah.
Okay.
Moving on.
Unicorn after it farts on the three of you, turns to its husband, turns back to you, and
it says, I thank you.
From me, the keeper of this area, to you, the princess of the fae.
I wish you good luck and farewell.
Thank you kindly.
You're welcome.
And then he starts his trot, and they take to the air.
Who knew that would be important?
That's ending that little bit.
Each one of you guys have a thing.
Very good, very good, very good.
Now.
Oh.
Go ahead.
Ism, sorry, Ism Oogles in the chat.
Can we do a quick congratulations?
She had a baby this week.
Oh, congratulations on your child, Izzy.
Very good, very good.
Well, this is the child's name.
We shall have the unicorn fart on it.
And bless you.
Happy birthday.
I don't think there's a happy, technically it is a birth.
I don't know.
Don't worry about it.
Happy birthday to you.
I don't like this.
There you go.
Congratulations on ripping your mother open like a Ziploc bag.
Like a Ziploc bag, you say.
OK.
You guys continue on to the forest, looking at the beautiful mushrooms and the trees,
the rainbows and what have you.
Eventually, you start getting back close to the area of the children.
You can see the big tree moving on top of all the other trees, breaking branches as
it normally does.
And it settles and shakes its leaves.
But as you begin to get closer, you see your hot air balloon is here.
And you guys trot up the trail to the tree.
As you get there, there are a few soldiers outside now, playing with all the children.
These soldiers, if you remember, are the ones from the League of Malevolence that promised
Violet they would come here.
And as you approach, a lot of them stop and the kids run over to the cart and they're
all welcoming you guys back.
Some of them are like, Hi Violet.
Are you going to cook us food again?
I would love to cook you food again.
Hi.
Good.
That's so exciting.
They like pull on your shirt and stuff and they're like, is that the guy that wasn't
wearing pants?
They're like, yeah.
He's not a good wiener.
Yes, and now I have pants.
Isn't that something?
One of the kids is like, hey, Violet, those are my pants.
Yes, but would you rather him be pantsless?
Yeah, that's fair.
But you owe me, you owe me pants mister.
That's not true.
I gave you something in return.
Reciprocity.
Oh yeah.
I forgot it's still in my drawer.
Ha ha.
You think I'm cool.
Even the owl bear thinks I'm cool.
Is that right owl bear?
Yeah, you don't have to speak with animals on, but he turns and looks at you.
Cool.
Yeah.
You can tell in his head he's like, cool.
Now as you guys hop off the cart and the kids go back and play with the soldiers, you can
see Elkhorn, who is the kind of like elder soldier who spoke with you last time.
He's speaking with Will as you guys approach.
And he's like, princess, and he puts his sword in the ground and kneels to you and then pulls
it back up and puts it in his sheath and he's like, I've been speaking with this demon.
And it seems to me that his curse is not yet to have been lifted, even though the hag is
dead.
Oh, so you don't want to stick like this weird worm in your ear?
Well, that depends.
Are you sure?
Yes.
Not even if I sing a song about it?
Well, one moment, Will.
I know you are forced to do good by the curse that has been set upon you.
But do you wish to continue to do good, even when the curse has been lifted?
Oh, you're speaking to Will.
Yes.
Will, what say you?
He's like, I don't know.
It's hard to tell.
We had this conversation, didn't we?
Yes, but I imagine there's some part of you still in there fighting.
Yeah, maybe.
Even that, before good or for bad.
There could be a part inside of me that still thirsts for the blood of children.
Ryan, I put the weird worm in his ear.
Oh, it's time to stick this weird worm in your ear.
She's like, what worm?
I did not consent to this.
This worm.
It's time to stick this weird worm in your ear.
Are you going to try and convince him somehow to allow you to do this?
Will, I would say, Will, the way I see it, the way I see it is that my work is still
not done.
There is still another hag in this land, and who knows who cursed you.
And if that curse is lifted in the time that I am gone, I do not want any danger to befall
these children.
This worm helps you do good from what we have seen and helps work you through your own mind
into a place of peace and gentleness.
I would like assurance that these children will not be harmed in that time until I can
return.
If we come back and these children are not harmed.
Very good.
Roll me persuasion.
Let's do it.
Very good.
It's an 11.
He's like, no, I don't think I will do this.
How do I know this isn't a trick?
I have fed these children.
I have given you a cloak that makes you, gives you more chances to survive attack.
We have done, we helped you with your plan against the hag.
What reasons do you have not to trust us?
Albeit, I don't know what this creature is.
I don't know what it is either, but we took it out of a guy that was like really nice.
Would you like to try Reiner?
Without his permission?
Well, to persuade him.
Oh, I mean, yeah, sure.
I could tell him the story of, you know, the rotten apple guy that had this inside his
head and he said the worm was making him do nice things.
And then, you know, like when I took the worm out of him, he was like a total asshole, like
a real prick.
I did not like him.
Okay.
Yeah.
Roman persuasion.
Hell yeah.
Oh, wait.
I'm convinced.
Where is this worm?
I need it to know.
I have a plus 10.
This is a 26.
Okay.
Well, yeah, that sounds good.
That's a good story.
Do it, if you will.
Insert it.
Put a banana in.
I mean, a worm in your ear.
Nice.
You insert the worm.
It doesn't seem to phase him right away.
Elkhorn, he's like, I knew princesses have weird tricks up their sleeves, but worms, this
is how you plan to deal with a demon.
You have your ways, but what will you have of us?
Do we stay?
Do we go?
Should you stay or should you go?
This is a good song.
Have you guys written this song?
This is a good song.
Well what are your plans if we were to leave here?
Well, our original plan was to find our way into the heart's desire, the palace of Sablina.
For there, a man is trapped who has a wand of power that our leader is trying to get
and receive.
There is a rivaling faction here who is trying to get it for themselves and of course, this
is a quest we were sent on.
But you being a princess yourself, we will follow your word and you saved us from death,
starvation, from the hag.
So we owe you that much.
Failers.
My two failures, not the not-failers.
I don't, you know, whatever.
Fails, do we need to have any need of them?
I don't think so.
We've been doing pretty good like, you know, on our own.
So we wouldn't mind if I just left them here as extra security for the tree and the children?
Oh, hell yeah.
Let's do that.
Protect the kids.
Oh, let me get send in and tell them to go ahead, get ahead of us, kind of scout the
area and maybe give us some good informational clues on the hag's lair.
Now there is an option.
Feel free, kind.
I don't mind that idea, huh?
That sounds like a mighty fine idea.
We are at your whim, my lady.
Well, in that case, I suggest you carry on with your task.
But report back to us as we travel through Yon.
I imagine our paths will cross again.
And report back to us with what we might see in store.
This we can do.
And he stands tall above you, almost as tall as you, Elkhorn is.
And he's like, my lady.
And he turns, you can hear his armor clunking as he walks away.
And he's like, crew, men up.
And they're up, up, up, up, up, up.
They all leave the children and the children wave them.
Bye bye, soldier guy.
There'll be peace when you are done.
The demon's like, OK, well, your friend, Clapperclaw, found his way here.
Somehow, he knew that you were here.
He's over there speaking with the oil can.
You look over, you see Clapperclaw next to the balloon.
The balloon looks nice and fixed up.
He's got the little oil can that was talking to you guys before about being able to lead
you to Yon.
And he's talking to it and stuff.
And as you guys approach, he sees you and he, oh, hi.
So I did some upgrades to the balloon.
Will told me you guys had cool chariot and more people.
We won't all fit in balloon.
But if you'll let me, you give me the rest of the night, I can fix the balloon to the
chariot so we can all fit.
That sounds like a mighty fine idea, Clapperclaw.
OK, I can do that.
I wouldn't mind spending the night here anyway.
The squirt can and the squirt can knows the way to Yon.
I don't know the way, but I can fly the balloon.
So fantastic.
I love that idea.
We'll leave you to it then.
We'll leave you to build things.
OK, thank you.
And he gets right on it.
Now, Hobbs, you haven't said anything.
What are you doing?
I just try to stay away from the children, really.
Because I think they like to pet too hard.
Oh, they like pull on your fur.
Yeah.
So it's like kind of like sitting on like on violence back, beating them back with their
step like don't touch me.
Nice.
Agdon, do you want to play with the children?
You're fast on your feet.
You could give them a good chase.
He's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I could totally do that.
Uh, uh, uh, what?
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And he hops up and trumps and starts running around and all the kids are chasing him.
And you see almost all the kids just start trying to reach and grab for his scarf.
And he's just running around in circles around the trees, except one kid who isn't chasing.
She's sitting at the trunk of the tree, fiddling with a bunch of little metal pieces.
It's Trinket sitting by herself.
And that is why I don't mind staying an extra night.
I want some time with Trinket.
And I'm going to approach Trinket and be like, hi Trinket, how you doing?
She goes, hi Violet.
And you can see, uh, before her skin, you know, is red, much like yours and everything
else like that.
Um, but she's actually taken like some sap and like some berries and stuff.
And she put makeup under her eyes just like yours.
You know, you spend enough time in the Feywild, that'll just come naturally.
You don't have to try with the makeup.
Feywild does special things to you.
No, it looks gorgeous.
Okay.
Honestly, it kind of looks like shit, but.
Rhino, shut your goddamn mouth.
I'll kick your ass.
You didn't hear me from all the way over there.
I'm hanging out with the owl bear.
Do you see how big my ears are?
I can hear everything.
Okay.
She's like, yeah, so I'm just working on stuff.
Uh, I don't know.
I, I want to read more and learn more, but there's not a lot of good books here.
And I, I don't know.
I feel like I'm too smart for this place.
Well, I know you made up your own little language, but I imagine I stole a couple of books from
the hag.
Uh, uh, I do have a couple of my own books if you would like them.
Oh, that would, that would be cool.
I could learn things.
I could read one or two, two of them to you.
I recently got that ability back and a lot of memories.
Nice.
That's very cool.
A lot of things I've forgotten and I want you to know how good it is to see.
Yeah.
I was much like you.
I was left in the Feywild by my family.
Well, I'm getting older now and I'm one of the oldest kids here and I don't know if I
should stay here anymore.
I think it's time for me to go anyway.
So I was going to go somewhere.
I don't know.
Where should I go?
I mean, I think you still got a little bit of growing.
You're still pretty young and some of these kids could learn from you.
You could get, you know, I'll be back here.
Maybe we can do a little adventure in ourselves when I'll get, I'll get back.
Okay.
All right.
Do you want to help me cook breakfast?
Yeah.
All right.
So I would like you to make up two, two random book names that you're going to give her from
your collection.
All right.
I'm going to go with A Midsummer Night's Slumber and
The Complete Guide to Flora and Fauna.
Nice.
Hell yeah.
Cause I'm like, can I be like walking back over to Violet?
And she's like digging through the bag.
And then I notice a book inside the bag and it says, Oh my God, fantastical sluts and
where to find them.
Where?
Put that bag.
It's mine.
No, I want it.
Let me read it.
I'll borrow it.
You can listen.
What are you going to do for me in return?
And then you can see back door sluts nine.
What do you mean see it?
I have quite a few books in there.
What?
Like 50 shades of red?
Oh no.
I read better books than that trash.
It's pretty good.
Oh, I got some things that you'll like, Hopps.
I know that.
It's like, it's like Twilight, check out my moon.
It's pretty good.
I got to teach you some better smut, Rhino.
I got to teach you what smut is.
You guys are going to spend the night here at the treant.
So you're going to cook breakfast for these kids.
You're going to do stuff like that.
But I would love to paint the scene of this long rest that we're finally going to take.
And then I know you guys did level up to level six.
So after our short rest, if you guys want to mention anything that you guys did gain
from your level up, feel free to do so.
But before we do that, I'd like you guys to think about all the followers you have and
kind of place them in this scene.
I imagine there's a campfire out by your carriage while Clapperclaw is attaching the carriage
to the balloon.
That's all we have thus far.
Yes.
But we are spending the night here.
Yeah.
I mean, you got to loot to talk to your lady friend.
I guess I could do that.
Did you say you had a sad song you wrote for us, Rainer?
Oh, shit, yeah.
Hold on.
Do you want to sing it?
See if you can find it.
All right.
What do you do, Violet?
She's drinking.
Sorry.
I got mighty parched.
So I'm going to cook a good old stew with a bread for the kids.
I'm going to make a big old pot of stew.
It's going to be like a minestrone with lots of herbs and spices in it with potatoes that
I found and little tubers from around the woods.
As well as just a little dessert on the side, like some sweetbreads, just little things
to perk them up and put them to bed soundly.
And then I'm going to finish out the night reading some of the books out loud to anybody
who'll listen.
And I imagine Agdon and my little displacer kittens wrapped around my legs.
Agdon's just having fun with the kids.
Hell yeah.
Just like this beautiful little book reading sesh happening on the ground.
While Reiner plays music, but first before you get to sing Reiner, Hops, what are you
doing?
And that's when everything outside is going all haywire.
I'm helping the guys try to like attach the balloon to the carriage.
But like there's points where we like forget to tie up the balloon so it's flying away
so we got to go back and go catch it and bring it back.
And then at some point the carriage flies away but the balloon's not attached to it.
I have no idea what's happening out here.
It's a real shit show.
Nobody knows how to tie knots.
It's interesting.
You're just running around like crazy.
I love that.
Okay, Reiner.
So there's like a little like pond lake or something right near.
Sure.
Is there a lily pad on this pond?
Sure.
Oh, tight.
And this is like nighttime so like the fireflies are out.
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
I basically want to be sitting on that lily pad just kind of like floating around.
Nice.
Hell yeah.
It's interesting, this said song.
Okay.
Everyone strap in.
You left me here to fly alone without you, my dear.
Tired wings, other heavy things keep me low and here.
When will I find you again?
When will I get to love you again?
It goes something like that.
Beautiful.
Yeah, man.
Good, good, good work there.
That was, that was beautiful.
That was beautiful.
My goodness.
Oh, thanks for the applause, Steve.
Was that original or certifiable?
Thank you.
Was that original, says Steve.
Yes.
Kind of, except for like the playing, I know there's another song that uses kind of like
the same melody, but I just added my own lyrics.
Nice.
It's fucking awesome.
Okay.
And that, my friends, is how we end our night in front of the tree.
Fixing a balloon, reading to kids and singing songs.
I love painting short rest scenes.
They're my favorite.
And this is, this is definitely one of the top right here.
It's very good.
It's very good, you guys.
So time for more music.
We're going to set another scene that is not so nice.
What is this?
My computer's having a hard time today, y'all.
Having a hard time.
Apologize.
Everybody's just thinking about your music there, Connor.
Oh, I'm writing notes.
I'm sorry.
Hey, totally cool.
I can read and write now so I can take my notes.
Okay, settle down, Polar Express.
That's right.
So we awake in the morning.
The balloon has been built.
All of your friends have climbed atop of it.
And you guys are preparing to set off to yawn.
All the kids have gathered around the chariot.
They're all hugging you guys and saying goodbye.
Everything is beautiful and wonderful here in this part of the Feywild.
You see the unicorns flying over the sky, happy once again, returning happiness to this
part of Tither.
And the kids wave.
Clapper Claw looks at you guys and you see Will down there, arms crossed, just kind of
like twitching his head.
Talking to himself.
Does that come back to Pydus?
Clapper Claw's like, so, um, this is it?
You guys ready to go?
Hell yeah, Clapper Claw.
I think so.
I'm ready.
Okay.
I'm ready guys.
I'm ready.
We think she's ready.
Just don't stand anywhere that has duct tape, super cool, dash, one star or metal.
It's not gonna be easy.
It's best to stand on the crossbeams and if you do find out from underneath, please use
one of the not applied parachutes that the A-9 has provided for you.
All right.
I think I'll sit in the exit seat because I'm clearly the strongest and I can open up
the door if needed.
You know, it's not because I need the extra leg room on each of these.
We have to throw away all the chairs because in order to make weight.
So we just gotta stand.
Okay.
All right.
He pulls on the string and you guys begin to lift.
Pete Townsend is immediately scared as he's an owl bear but has never taken flight before.
He's like shaking in his boots, looking over the edge.
The mushrooms are just singing.
I put my hand on Pete Townsend and I go, hey, it's cool.
You're cool.
It's cool.
Cool.
It calms him down a little bit.
And you guys take flight.
Over Tither and you can see places where it looks like people are traveling once again.
You can see the Goblin Market set up in a different area.
It looks like people are building, doing things.
Once again, you've brought happiness back to this place of Yon or Tither and now you're
headed off to Yon.
Squirt, the little oil can begins giving directions to Clapper Claws.
You guys are flying over.
It takes a little while, about an hour, but then eventually you get into this huge cloud
of just mist and he still keeps guiding him through and guiding him through.
And after a while you break out of this cloud into a new area of the Feywild.
And it's not as pretty as the place you just were.
Where it is raining, it is thundering, and it is dark.
Well this is gloomy.
That's really wet.
Yeah, I don't like the wet.
As you guys make it through the cloud, you get to an area of mountains.
Gray, colorless, stone mountains with winding pathways as far as the eye can see.
Lightning strikes all around you.
Clapper Claw is doing his best to hold on to this thing, to guide it down somewhere
safe.
Lightning strikes, he dodges it.
You guys are all holding on real tight.
Lightning strikes again.
You can see this piece of the balloon that Hops and Clapper Claw put together.
Not so great.
Had some metal pieces on it.
And it gets struck by lightning and falls off.
Can I cast a spell?
Yes.
I have Mending.
So as it flies off, I want to cast Mending to kind of like patch it right back together
where it was.
Nice dude.
I love that.
I love that so much.
You Mended.
The balloon reassumes position.
Finally roll me Perception.
Alright.
Thanks for the waving.
Okay, it's good or no.
You're looking out amongst the clouds as you guys are finally making your descent.
And you can see down below there's like this amongst the rocky crags in the mountainside.
There is a illuminating distance like pinnacle of rock that almost looks like a foreboding
castle was built out of it.
And as you're staring at it, you hear a noise like, and you look down and trinket is holding
to the bottom of the carriage.
And just as you look down and see her, her fingers slip and she falls and she pulls the
parachute that Dr. Hopps provided for everyone.
And she floats gently down into yawn.
Do we have any time to react and like do something about this?
Yeah, like I'm gonna throw Rhino right off this balloon.
Just throw him?
If you have something that you want to do, I will allow you to do something.
But that happens in like an instant.
So can I cast?
Hmm.
Is that other things that I have?
Oh, yes.
Do you think I could do some wand of binding to like bind her to the balloon?
No, that's hold person.
Doesn't really work like that.
But creative.
Is this like a maiden voyage of areonauts where they fly too high and nearly die?
Yeah.
Wow, this read write of Up is crazy.
The wilderness must be explored.
Yeah I don't have anything for this.
I could try to like fly and see if I can catch her.
I don't have anything either.
I don't think I do either because I I mean how many times can I use that though?
How far?
I do have Misty step but I feel like that requires being on the ground.
I can teleport her to the sky but then you're falling with her.
Yeah.
Get denied him.
Ooh.
Misty is laying justly doing random item.
Violet.
I can't wait for another cursed sword.
Give me a cursed sword to help.
Like a spider man bracelet with a web on it.
Whip.
Like no biases.
We're shoveling.
I'm not looking.
No biases.
I hope it helps.
It's just like a ten pound weight.
Hey boots of flying are in here so that is an option.
That is an option.
It's a ten pound weight that just makes it.
Come on flying broom.
You don't think about it as soon as you get the weight and you just throw it at her.
Level of quickness of action.
Alright.
Sounds like a thing.
Very rare.
Doesn't require attunement.
This book contains coordination of balance exercises and its words are charged with magic.
If you spend 48 hours over a period of six days or fewer studying this book and practicing
its guidelines your dexterity score increases by two.
Wow.
Great.
It's fucking cool.
Great, we can save her in 48 hours.
Yeah, I'm gonna stick to my original plan of I'm gonna yell trinket, grab Reiner and
just huck him down the balloon.
It's a catcher.
Reiner can fly his movement speed in distance so he can fly out 30 feet and then in the
rain you're just gonna grab onto her and fall with her.
He doesn't have any strength to pull her up.
I have negative one strength.
She's a few.
No, no, okay, I got an idea.
I got an idea.
Alright, so in a split second I have a rope and I'm gonna hogtie Reiner around the waist.
So my hand's behind my back?
How am I gonna grab her?
No, no, no, I'm gonna grab you around the middle and around your ankles.
I'm loosening you up.
I'm gonna swing you down.
You grab her and then I got the other end of the rope in the basket.
I'm down for that but she's falling fast.
I'm gonna need skill checks.
First you're gonna throw him so I need you to roll me a strength.
If you succeed on your strength you'll give him advantage on him doing work.
You have to grab her, right?
So we'll call it a day.
Alright, so that was a 12.
I'm also gonna use my boon of fate.
Nice.
Advantage or disadvantage.
Certifiable underscore no just redeemed advantage.
Violet.
Okay, you get 12 plus a d4.
She gets plus six as well.
Okay.
And then a d4.
So that's a so 12, 18, that's a dirty 20.
Or you get advantage might as well use it.
Alright alright.
Family.
That's a six.
Oh six.
Okay, so we'll keep that 12.
You chuck Reiner out into the rain.
Lightning strikes.
Couch coin Connor, couch coin.
That was awesome.
Yeah, you really threw him.
Yeah that was good.
Couch coin Reiner.
Now as you're floating through the air you're gonna be positioning yourself to be able to
grab her.
Couch coin.
Since she.
Another world tabletop just redeemed couch coin.
Connor for being yeeted.
Pretty good dude.
Pretty damn good.
That's two.
Two couch coins for you.
Now roll me a deck save.
Just straight up decks.
Just decks to grab her.
Need to roll deeks.
Yeah.
Oh does that sound Australian?
I'm sorry.
Deeks.
Need to roll deeks.
Ah.
Hey yo family.
Is that Slappy?
How you doing bro?
God.
Dammit.
You have a saving throw?
You have advantage because she succeeded.
Not a saving throw.
It's a check.
Okay.
Okay does that seven on eleven.
If it was a saving throw it would be plus five.
So what I'm gonna do then.
She sees you.
One final roll she's gonna roll a sleight of hand to try and grab you.
She's got no bonuses.
The fireball on this corner used to reroll Reina.
Oh reroll Reina.
Reina.
Zed to five.
With advantage.
Oh.
Zed to fourteen now.
Nice.
Okay.
You grab her.
She's like ahhhh.
Ahhhh.
Reina.
Thank god you're wearing pants.
And you guys swing underneath the balloon and you're both like holding on now swinging
at the bottom of the balloon as the balloon's just cascading over these mountain tops.
How long is this rope?
At least thirty feet right?
Yeah.
So they're just swinging now cascading all around as this balloon is just.
Clapper Claw's like should I bring us down?
I'm going to try and pull him up.
Okay.
That would be a strength check.
You start pulling him up as he's bringing the balloon down.
Roll me a strength.
Come on Pete Townsend.
Hand it to the owl bear as well.
Part of the rope.
And I'm just going to start.
There you go.
You want help action?
That's badass.
I mean that would be great since I rolled a fucking one.
Every fucking time I like to roll my D10 that I'm allowed to have.
Your lucky boon.
Let's do it.
That's an eight.
So that makes it.
Nice.
So that's a nine.
Can you see our fingers?
The owl bear assists you by giving you the help action?
No, no, no.
Because I had a four.
My strength is a four.
I just rolled a one, but it was plus three still.
So it's a 12.
And the owl bear is going to give you help.
So you get to do it with advantage.
All right.
Wait.
Help action the creature.
A gains advantage.
That's a two.
Very good.
All right.
So it's a 13.
There we go.
You slowly pull the balloon.
It begins to cascade down and lands on the side of this mountaintop.
You pull Trinket and Reiner back up into the carriage.
You guys settle.
This Clapper Claw brings the balloon down.
It doesn't land very safely.
And you guys are now in the rain and the thunder.
You guys are in the rain.
You guys are in the rain and the thunder.
Underneath the help of the balloon.
The balloon gets a deflate as the fire goes out.
You guys step out of the carriage.
You stand with your whole group on a path that winds between rocky crags on this mountainside.
But before I describe any more of it, you look over at Trinket and she looks embarrassed.
Trinket, what were you thinking, darling?
You could have gotten yourself killed.
I wanted to come on an adventure with you.
I tried to tell you, but I was scared.
And, and I'm sorry.
Am I grounded?
Why would you be grounded?
You would have been, Vaxeia.
Yeah, you could have been grounded.
You're so fucking grounded.
Okay.
Listen, just stay close.
This is a, what we're doing is so dangerous.
You don't start your first adventure by going out and fighting a hag.
I can do it.
I know so much.
I'm so smart.
I can do it.
Okay.
But you stay close and you do what I say, you hear?
Okay.
I don't want you getting hurt.
I don't know what I would do if you got hurt.
Okay.
That would destroy my whole world.
I only just found you.
She is a level one artificer.
Oh, down the street.
You get to build her character sheet.
Oh shit.
She's a level one artificer.
Yes.
You can't trust them with good verbs.
Owlbears are the best.
She's like, okay, I'll stay behind.
So now you look out.
The sky is dark and full of rolling thunderbolts and thunder clouds.
You're greeted by a howling wind.
For a second, lightning splits the sky, striking nearby mountaintops and illuminating that
distant pinnacle of a castle that is built into the side of the mountain.
The winding path walks through the craggy mountains.
Clapper Claw says, well, I'm going to have to fix the balloon again.
I'm at a loss for words.
You know, kid sister just tagged along and almost died at the same time I'm doing.
And I say, we take a short chart, press, gather our bearings, find which way we need to head
and start marching.
This hag is going to take care of herself.
Trick it, Slick.
Yeah, it's a good attitude.
We can do it as a team.
Trinket's all like, let me at him.
Let me at him.
We just ate a scrappy do to our group.
Well, we basically are in the Scooby Doo universe right now with the clouds, the lightnings,
the ominous castle in the distance.
All we are missing is the van.
The van's broken, son.
Like every Scooby Doo episode starts, the van breaks down.
That's how that works.
Wait, let me at him.
Cool.
It's wonderful.
Before, I know what we're about to do, but before we do that, one final thing.
Reiner, you begin playing a soothing tune to soothe the party.
Oh, I do.
This time of need.
As you do, Selena's voice comes through louder this time, more clear, through the lute into
you.
And you hear her voice as long as you're playing.
And she says, Reiner.
Reiner, I can feel you right now.
Not your penis, but your energy.
Oh.
You are near.
Come for me, Reiner.
Don't actually come, but like, arrive for me, Reiner.
I got it, I got it.
You don't have to explain.
I get support.
Are you sure?
Yes.
This is serious.
We've all heard you talking in your sleep.
We know you're into aging.
I'm just a straight goon.
Straight goon.
Come in or to me, Reiner.
Arrive for me.
Arrive for me, Reiner.
Come to me.
Reiner, are you going to arrive?
Please let me know when you're gonna arrive.
Oh, you best believe when I finish from now on, I'm saying I have arrived.
That's pretty good.
Okay, we're gonna take a quick five minute break, everybody.
Don't go anywhere.
We're gonna come back.
We have finally arrived in Yarn.
Let's do it, family.
God, no.
Oh, good heavens, I'm arriving.
We have arrived.
Oh, good heavens, I'm arriving.
He said no, he's a fearsome.
Hi, my goodness.
Hello, everybody.
Welcome back to the Wild PR.
And I am Turk.
I'm here with lads.
Yes, indeed, indeed.
This is the second half of the show.
Thank you all so much for joining us.
Things are getting hot and heavy and drama is unrolling.
That's right, family.
That's right, that's right.
So we're just gonna hop right back into the story, I think.
And did you make your artificer sister there?
I am just about finished setting her up.
I'm just- Fucking call it.
Ranged from above.
DM Steve underscore forge of law just cheered 69 bits.
Things are getting very hot and very heavy.
Yes, they are.
Did you just call me back, Steve?
You son of a bitch.
Oh, my goodness.
Once you're done, let us know.
You know I have a thyroid problem.
Okay.
You guys have gathered up your stuff and begin wandering down this path here in Yon.
As you walk, you look and see how sharp the edges of these mountains are.
You see the water dripping down them as if the rain has been raining on these mountains
for many a year.
And it has caused corrosion in these rocks to make them sharp.
They're full of rivers and pathways, small and old.
As you walk down this winding walkway, look up to see there are two figures standing on
an outcrop of rock outlined against the stormy sky.
One seems to be a slender female elf wearing a crescent moon mask on her face.
And the other is a three-foot tall dandelion with a small repair strapped to its stem and
a honeybee about the size of an orange buzzes around the dandelion's head.
The elf seems to be the first to notice you.
As she points in your direction, the dandelion then draws its repair and assumes a defensive
pose.
The honeybee buzzes more loudly as it flies circles around the two of them, prepared for
defense.
Hello.
Oh, excuse me.
I found something at my feet.
You found?
Oh no, we already have that.
I drew one that we already had.
Sorry about that.
I'm drawing this out of the box.
Save us time from shuffle.
Interesting.
Very, very interesting.
This is good.
I can't, okay.
I maybe have to...
Oh good.
Yes, something at my feet.
Look at this.
Okay.
Interesting.
So they're all the same, so I do have to shuffle because that's not it.
But...
Also, do we now remember what the book I got was called?
I was...
The Manual of Quickness of Action.
Thank you.
There you are.
I just knew how to balance on a skateboard.
I didn't shuffle, so Reiner's item is the Tome of the Stilled Tongue, so it's another
skill book.
But I drew it, so we're going with it.
It's basically the same.
There are only five of these tomes.
So some of these didn't have a stilled tongue.
Oh, this requires attunement by a wizard.
So nope, I'm going to redraw.
Damn it!
Sorry about it.
This is a cloak of invisibility, and there's no art on this card.
That's funny.
Keepsdastit!
It requires attunement, but while wearing the cloak, you can pull the hood over your
head to cause yourself to become invisible.
While you're invisible, everything you carry is invisible.
You can pull it up or down for an action.
Deduct the time you are invisible in increments of one minute from the cloak's maximum duration
of two hours.
After two hours of use, the cloak ceases to function.
So you get two hours of invisibility.
Hell yeah.
That's cool.
Does it require attunement?
It does.
Another one requires attunement, and this is perfect for fishy because fuck you, fishy,
you get the slippers of spider climbing.
While you wear these light shoes, you can move up and down and across vertical surfaces.
You have a free climbing speed equal to your walking speed.
He doesn't walk anywhere.
He rides on my shoulder.
He doesn't walk.
But now you can just walk up the back of you, I guess.
You can thank another world for your spider climbing walking shoes.
That's a long running joke.
The fishy always ends up with spider climb before the end of every season.
Always.
I don't know why it always happens.
Yes.
I personally avoid taking any spell that has anything to do with spider climb.
Not a damn while.
Although I'll know how to do it by the end of this season.
Always.
Okay.
They look out at you, sword drawn.
Also, I finished trinket.
I finished set ear up.
Okay.
I guess before we move forward, then let's look at it.
Another world tabletop just redeem couch speech.
Dr. Hopes tell everyone how fucking awesome spider climb is.
I'm starting to get high.
I didn't do this without eating shit.
One time I actually need to slip and fall.
Fuck.
My stool is starting to get really old.
See, spider climb is great because now you've turned your 2D world into a 3D atmosphere.
So while you're playing 3D chess, I'm playing 5D checkers.
It's going to be great because now I'm going to be able to do stuff from upside down and
I can walk up walls and stuff.
It's really cool.
Thanks, Darn Dad.
All right, get down from that chair, you spider climbing fool.
She's level one, artificer.
Very cool.
She's got wisdom and intelligence.
I love that because she's very smart, very, very smart.
She's got sumatergy.
Nice.
She can do level one magical tinkering.
Very good.
That's classic artificer.
Very good, very good, very good.
Love that.
And I did give her my book.
I did give her the quickness of action manual.
Nice.
Cool.
All right.
Sword drawn.
Back at it.
What do you do?
Oh, hello.
I am Ryna.
Hello.
Like yelling across this walkway.
What's your name?
Um, I just, is this Ry?
What?
Cheers.
Yeah.
Listen, do you know where we can find cover from the rain?
There's an old bit of the two people standing across the lake and that's what I was trying
to do.
You know, what's your name?
I said, Tony.
Slappy balls got it.
Fuck you, Tony.
What?
Fuck you.
She's like, yeah, yeah, follow me.
There's a small cave.
Okay.
Let's follow this sexy woman and her, you know, anthropomorphized plants.
Fuck you, Ezekiel.
Um, you guys follow her.
As you're following her, you notice in the lightning, it strikes.
You notice something off.
Unroll me perception as you're following her into this cave.
Oh my God.
I know a song for this.
I got 15.
Nice.
Oh no, sorry.
That's my bad.
Trinket got a 15.
Rolling on the wrong sheet.
Huh?
I got an 11.
All right.
Um, you guys notice all of you guys do.
You all got above 10.
Um, you notice that she doesn't have a shadow.
Well, Trinket notices you don't, but she doesn't have a shadow.
But she pulls you into this cave.
There's a small little fireplace.
Looks like they've been hunkered down in here for a little bit, um, out of the rain.
And the elf stands tall.
She's, um, kind of wearing warrior garb.
She looks to be like, you know, she's out and about and doing stuff.
But you can tell underneath her warrior garb as you look at her, she has like fancy, like
theater clothes on along with her mask on her face.
It's in the shape of a crescent moon.
Her ears point out behind it.
She's got long brown luscious hair.
And she's like, my name?
She needs a name actually.
I want to use the one from the book, but I'm not gonna, there's enough people here tonight.
Why don't you guys use the name of thing command and give this elf a name, huh?
But she looks at you guys and she says, you look to be new here in Yawn.
What brings you here?
Now, you guys are a quiet bunch of folks, aren't you?
Well, you know, we are looking for, you know, like the hag of this area.
Oh, the hag.
I hate that bitch.
Well, that's good, because we don't intend to let her leave.
Good.
Yes, her name is Indalyn Moongrave.
Of course.
She's in the castle.
There.
She has a theater.
She makes people perform, forces them to.
Or not, she steals them and puts them away in a room of temporal darkness.
He makes them perform?
Yes, forces them.
Would you volunteer?
You could, I guess, but no one wants to perform for her.
Not really, anyway.
Rhino, do I got the gig for you, buddy?
Oh, you have a gift for me?
Not this gig.
What?
Get your hands out of my pants.
Anyways, we can sign right out for like the local talent show.
Could be good.
Oh.
I don't know if that's the way it works, but...
Oh, how does it work?
Well, she captures people and then forces her captors to perform.
I think if you show up there, she might lock you away.
You don't really get to just volunteer and play.
I don't know about talent competition, but okay.
Okay, so she's the top for sure.
Hmm.
Well, I escaped from her, but she still has my sister trapped away in the darkness.
I mean, my sister used to perform together.
See, I was the moon, she was the sun.
We would perform together, and for the hag has seen her future, and the hag believes
that her demise will come on the day of an eclipse, and because we perform as the sun
and the moon, she's tried to separate us.
Like the Fire Nation.
It's like a sentimental eclipse, yeah, like the Fire Nation.
Now this is my friend, the dandelion.
Actually, I have a picture of the dandelion.
How cool!
Do you mind if I ask a question?
I don't mean to pry if this is offensive or whatever, but why don't you have a shadow?
Ah, I see you've noticed.
Yeah, just barely.
I got an 11.
There it is.
Such a little guy.
Oh, look at that little guy.
He's such a sweet little guy.
It's so cool.
And he looks tasty.
Yeah, you don't want to eat him.
Don't eat our host.
Tomorrow, there is an eclipse IRL too, that's crazy how that lined up.
Don't forget tomorrow, Dr. Fire Nation!
Indolent Moongrave has snipped off my shadow by using a pair of magical scissors when she
imprisoned my twin sister, Glister.
The rule of hospitality prevents the hag from harming my sister, Glister, but I can sense
her distress.
And we did used to work as an acrobatic duo, and I believe that the hag is using our shadows
as soldiers, fighting people.
She's using, keeping our shadows, stopping us from leaving Yharn.
People with down and people without shadows.
It's the shadow clone Jutsu, I see.
Indeed.
Powerful magic, I hear.
She straight up Shigemaru'd your ass.
We need to pick a name from chat.
Did any one of these poke out to any of you guys?
I really like Luna.
I think Luna's really good.
I like Moon Pie, but I think that's just my proclivity to southern things.
Not to stroke Connor's ego, but I really like Twilight Doom Moon.
Her name can't be Twilight Doom Moon.
Alright, certified of the wins, we're going with Luna.
It was a gross one, Connor.
I'm sorry, I tried.
I'm sorry, Piper's such a dork.
Well crap.
And of course my dandelion friend, Polinella, the honeybee.
I actually just helped Polinella.
We came across a giant beekeeper who had the bee queen captive and had Polinella stuck
with him, and I managed to help Polinella free.
Now reciprocity, Polinella has agreed to help keep me safe, as you see by their defensive
stance as soon as you approached.
Ah yes.
That's why the plant wanted to fight me.
So I have plans to get my sister free.
You guys are looking for the hag.
Why specifically?
Well, the heads of this realm have stolen shit from us.
Like very not reciprocity.
You know, it's kind of wrong, and we're trying to get all of that back.
You know, the things that they stole.
He's also trying to find Polinella.
Cheers, ba-da!
Ch-ch-ch-cheers!
That's right baby!
Cheers, Viber!
Um, he's like, well she stole stuff from you guys.
Well, we could team up together.
I can go with you and all of your friends.
I picture it now, all of you are crammed in this little cave.
There's like an owlbear and a couple of bunnies, all you guys are just like fucking crammed
in this little cave out of the rain.
She's like, well we could go together, I mean I could help.
And you plan to get Zablina, does that mean you're heading to the Palace of Heart's Desire
next?
That's, yeah, that's what we were planning.
Weirdly enough, it just so happens that I think Polina knows the way there through the
fog.
And the little dandelions are like, hmmm, hee hee hee hee hee hee.
Oh I love him.
So if you help us, then maybe in turn, reciprocity, Polina can show you the way.
Well that sounds like a mighty fine arrangement, thank you.
Well of course, you're very welcome.
You're very welcome.
How do you plan to do it?
Well I was about to ask you the same thing actually.
What were your plans for trying to get into the hag?
We're new to this land.
We would love any Poeners you can give on how to get in there.
Well there are some folks around here in Yon that know their way around the castle, and
my plan was to head around and talk to people, meet people, see if I can get them together,
and we could all together unite against the hag and take her out together.
Maybe someone has some information on how to get in there.
Excellent.
I imagine there's not many places around here that are safe from the un-ended storm.
Yeah, it never stops raining here.
It sucks.
Gonna get a terrible moisture.
My hair does crazy things in the wet.
So I imagine you guys chilling in this cave for a little while, getting some warmth, thinking,
talking.
She shows you the map, which you guys do have already.
I can actually pull it up over here for everyone else watching.
She shows you the map.
It's gonna come up twice, isn't it?
Nah, it's okay.
She shows you the map of all this stuff and everything else going on.
You guys spent some time doing that.
Now Reiner, did you say you had the perfect song for her?
Is that what you said?
Uh, yes, so...I don't have the perfect instrument for it so currently.
But for this place that we are in, it would make sense.
Okay.
What's the perfect instrument for it?
Yeah, you're gonna leave us on a cliffhanger like that?
Well, damn, like, what do you want me to pull, like a full-size guitar out of my ass?
No.
I'd pay to see that.
I have a hundred golds now.
I thought you just liked his gross style.
Why don't you, uh, if you need a guitar, why don't you roll me a D100?
Oh, jeez.
Call it, call it Hyzer Lowe's.
You really want this, don't you?
Always.
It's a 62.
All right, never mind then.
It's always Lowe's, usually, for me.
You didn't call it, so I'm calling it Lowe's.
62, it's over 50, she doesn't have a guitar.
You're in luck.
Maybe next time.
Maybe when we sneak into this bitch's palace, we can, like, find musical instruments laying
around and I'll play it.
Uh, Trinket does have a flute, it turns out.
That's not going to help me.
I don't have any sense.
No.
It's like a flute in here.
Okay.
I wish I had known earlier that that's what we were gonna need, but.
Oh, right.
Well, as you were building her character sheet.
You guys spend some time warming up and then you head back out into the rain.
As you're walking together up these slopes, it's a treacherous walk, the rain is slippery
on the rocks and the sides of the mountains.
But you come across, it looks like a throne.
There's a throne made from boulder and etched with astronomical symbols all around it in
the side of the hill.
Literally a big old throne.
Hops, I want to say as you're looking at this thing, roll me an arcana check.
Yeah, that's a six.
Fuck.
All right, you got nothing.
It's too wet.
I can't see.
Unless you have detect magic, I can't give you shit.
I do have detect magic.
Oh.
I can't get it because the check magic.
So it's a three roll hops.
Oh, all right.
Double double go.
Let's do it.
That's an 18.
Nice.
OK, your detect magic spell reveals all around this throne an aura of divination magic.
And it almost looks like the divination magic is stopping the rain from hitting the throne.
The throne seems almost a little bit dry because of how powerful it is.
As you get closer to it with the arcana check, you see scribbled in an old magical language
on the throne itself.
It says, I am a traveler from a distant land.
My name is Mazekoth, keeper of stars.
Sit on my throne, disciple, and unravel.
With your high arcana check, you recall that Mazekoth was an elf and a celebrated astronomer
who claimed to hail from a black star at the edge of night.
OK.
You sit down in the throne and you begin to feel cold and drowsy.
As you sit on said throne, the sound of the rain stops around you.
As you sit there, you begin to fall into a magical trance.
While in this trance, you're unaware of your surroundings, but you start to dream.
You dream of yourself hurling through space towards a far away dead star.
And at the end of the dream, you arrive at the star's cold surface.
And you wake with a start, having inherited a fragment of Mazekoth's psyche.
You gain proficiency in one of the following skills.
Arcana, deception, history, insight, or intimidation, or survival.
You gain proficiency.
Yeah, we'll take arcana.
Alright, badass.
As you do, you step up from the chair, you guys just watch him there sleeping for like
10 minutes.
And then he steps up from the chair and as he does, the magic fades from the chair.
You alright, Puddin' Pals?
Yeah, I'm fine.
Puddin' Mazekoth came to me and hurled through space, landed on top of his stash, froze a
little bit, and then recited the knowledge of how powerful arcana can be.
Well that's intense.
Have you read out the divination crystals?
No, it can't be.
No, I never read out the divination crystals a long time ago.
Okay.
Good.
He's been drug free for like a week now.
That's what they all say.
You guys continue your journey talking.
The dandelion and of course Luna, just looking at you guys, kind of trying to figure out
your party aspect.
You guys are a little bit wild for them.
As you're walking up this path, once again you come across something else.
But this time, a little bit different.
There are three giant goats.
These goats each have a silvery gray fur, wisened faces, and golden hourglass shaped
pupils that observe all three of you closely.
When you guys get close, the first goat says, baaah.
When the moon obstructs the sun, creeping Lin will come undone.
The second goat says, baaah.
Play to her passions.
Stay on script.
A cat, a horn, or a shadow ripped.
A third goat says, baaah.
The full scepter is the key.
And then all three of them look at you.
Oh, Zed, last one.
You didn't rhyme.
I'm just saying it would have been better if the last one rhymed.
What's the fuck?
Qbert settle down.
Look at me, I'm a wild goat, sir Qbert.
What the fuck?
Listen, only one of us here has horns.
That's the one that's gonna go for the goat.
What's that?
Woo, we riding in time.
Oh my god.
Speaking of goats.
Hey friends.
Awesome, Suni.
Hey, cheers buddy.
How the hell you doing?
Welcome back.
Think of it as 42 months.
Cheers, bud.
It's the longest time, Suni.
Yeah, it is, dude.
The three goats stare at you guys.
Do you say anything back?
Do you do anything?
Thank you for the information, Mr. Goats.
Since they're like clearly working for the hag, everybody sees it, right?
Are they?
They just told us the weaknesses.
Oh yeah, I mean if you wanted to get out of an abusive relationship, how else would you
give advice to people to destroy your significant other?
That checks out.
Well, I'm going to sing a song now.
Okay.
I don't think by the cut the head set the hag has a relationship with three goats.
Sing monkey.
Oh damn, okay.
I wasn't sure if more was going to happen or what.
That's what Slappy says.
Now I'm waiting on your guys' action currently.
Oh.
Maybe I'm not going to sing.
Wait, are they like blockings away or anything?
No, no.
Okay, fuck.
Let's just walk past them.
Shit.
Do all three of you walk past them?
Yeah.
Yeah, okay.
As you walk past them.
Go ahead.
No, wait.
I was going to leave a small portion of my rations as a thank you for the information.
Bad, acceptable reciprocity.
Fourth worth is given and in turn everything is living.
He's self-conscious now because I told him he didn't rhyme.
That was that.
That's what that is.
Oh shit.
As you set the food down, all three of them begin to eat and as you get closer you look
and you see behind them awaiting a rule of non-reciprocity look to be a large rock stone
elemental ready to attack as you get close and set the food down.
But as you set the food down he looks nods his head and then the three of you keep walking.
Saved your asses.
Yes you did.
Now as you walk a little bit further you can see up ahead a place.
There's like a circle of megaliths and in the center of this hinge there's a like a
checkered game board.
It's pretty far up the walk.
And Luna says I think that's where we're headed.
To my knowledge there are clans of Chorids that work around here and maybe they have
some information for us.
Chorids?
Yes.
Do you know what a Chorid is?
I don't believe I'm familiar.
Well first off here's the picture of the stone elemental that you passed up.
He seems like a mighty fine homie.
She looks like the bulldog from Tom and Jerry.
She explains Chorids to you guys.
She's like.
Chaos card.
Sir Underscorp you have just redeemed Chaos card.
Dr. Hopps.
Hell yeah dude.
But she says Chorids are sensitive creatures.
They have strong ties to earth and stone.
They prefer usually to keep to their own company but occasionally consort with creatures that
especially have elemental earth with them.
A tribe of Chorids usually gathers weekly to perform ceremonial dances beating out rhythms
on stone with hoods and clubs.
They typically flee from other creatures or become aggressive so we must approach thoughtfully.
As they currently doing like a ritual?
How big are they?
Not that you can see.
They are small.
Small fey creatures.
They got hooved feet and like stone skin.
Chaos card for Fishy.
Who?
For Hopps.
Do another voice for the next 1d6 minutes.
Roll me 1d6 and pick a voice baby.
One minute.
Like oh my god.
Like this is so tough.
Luna's like what do you think about stone creatures Hopps?
Like stone creatures are like it's like get a fucking job you freeloader.
All you do is just sit around and get high all day.
You fucking stupid stone creatures.
I didn't mean stoned creatures.
I meant stone creatures but you do have a point.
What's the difference?
I guess.
I guess you are correct.
All the same.
Alright that was fun.
Now the ground rumbles on your way up the path.
Is a large cyclops towering above all of you wearing a beekeeper helmet and has a tiny
little beekeeper thing.
You look behind you to see that it looks like Luna and Paulinella are now hiding behind
the rocks as if to not be seen.
I'm pulling up the picture for you.
There we go.
Huge towers above you.
He.
There we go.
He's wearing these beekeeper outfits.
He looks down at you and he's like you stole queen bee.
Mudlump needs queen bee to make honey mead.
Best mead in all of Intoxica.
Mudlumps send mead to Intoxica.
No queen bee no mead for Intoxica.
I'm sorry but we just arrived here.
How could we have stolen the queen bee from you?
Ah I know you have queen bee.
Bees follow queen bee.
Bee lead mudlump to here.
Place is real of reciprocity.
Mudlump won queen bee in duel.
Mudlump now down to duel again for queen bee.
Who will duel mudlump?
What kind of duel do you want to do?
A duel.
A fight.
Yeah you want to do like a music fight or like a dancing fight.
That could be like very courageous and hard to do.
Challenge really.
Only like sleep and poetry.
Poetry.
Poetry like love.
Poetry for people who love things.
Same with music.
Mudlump know no love.
Mudlump don't know what love is.
Ah wait wait.
How do you feel about your mead sir?
Do you love your mead?
I do like my mead.
I don't know if love.
I don't love mead itself but I love what mead do for mudlump.
Difference.
Do you think you could never live without mead ever again if it just ceased to exist?
Yes.
But mudlump be sad.
Then I would say, I dare say, sir that you love mead.
I'm egging for it slappy.
I'm egging for it.
I don't know what love is.
What is love?
Don't hurt me.
No more.
Mudlump want to know what love is.
Mudlump wants rhino to show them.
Oh god no.
What is love?
Well giant beast of the fair wilds.
I shall show you what love is.
I'm just going to cover trinket's eyes.
Fuck the mudlump.
Jesus Christ.
Hold on I'm sinking.
Mudlump want to know what love is.
And they won't do that.
My baby don't mess around because she loves me so.
And this I know for sure.
But I, she really wanted and I can't stand to see me walk through the door.
Can't stand to fight the feeling because the thought alone is killing me right now.
Thank god for mom and dad and you two together because we don't know how.
And you and I.
That is love.
Oh you, oh first I want to just let you take it but you gotta roll me performance.
Okay this is a plus ten.
So that's a fourteen.
Nice that's pretty good.
He's like you show mudlump what love is.
Mudlump feel inside.
Warm sticky wet juicy.
Mudlump mudlump come to deal with fairy.
Yes so here's my deal.
No mudlump have deal.
You find mudlump someone to love.
Mudlump want to show my baby the way around because mudlump know for sure.
You teach mudlump to say hey ya.
Okay mudlump.
You find you promise you find mudlump giant to love.
Cyclops.
And you bring them back to mudlump.
Okay can somebody please clip what he said.
I'm always surprised the direction you go with things.
Hey look I have a brain.
And it's good at a very particular scale of skills.
I am a Turk of many trades master of none.
He brings down his big old hand and you can see he's got hella be stings on it and he's
like you shake on it with mudlump.
And his finger is bigger than your body.
So he just kind of like shoves it into you.
We have deal.
You may keep Pollyanna and queen bee.
And as he walks away he's like humming to himself.
Hey ya.
That didn't go the way I thought it was going to.
But for now.
I really thought I was going to have to fight a giant cyclops.
I did too.
No.
I have to hook.
I'm a matchmaker for giant cyclops now.
Just so everyone doesn't think I'm absolutely completely fucking insane.
In this book one of the solutions to mudlump is explain love to mudlump.
It's in the book.
So I'm not completely insane.
Okay.
I was actually kind of confused on why that worked.
I was just trying to like.
There is honorable duel magical deception explain love to mudlump or murder mudlump.
Those are the five solutions to getting through this encounter.
Yes.
And you explained love to mudlump.
Which in my opinion is the best way to do it.
I think.
I don't know.
Yeah.
I honestly thought I was going to have to fight mudlump.
I thought that's how it was going to go.
Yeah.
Me too.
What do you mean you don't know what love is but you're doing all this shit to like
get me back.
Like you know what love is.
Come on.
You simple creature.
I just love the idea of this canon cyclops that's lonely has been providing me to intoxic
her for years and then he shows up like with a little mudlump children later on in our
campaign.
Love that.
And that's how we get Leela later on in campaigns.
Oh yes.
Leela if we do find mudlump of love and no one name the things her Leela I'll be mad
for now.
Quick thumbnail pose.
We did gifts last week and I still haven't made said gifts.
But they were really good.
They were really good.
And that's why I still got to go make them love it or lump it.
Oh yes.
Certifiable.
Yes.
Lumpy likey.
Yes.
Everybody just do a weird face.
Do a weird face for me for thumbnail.
Things with new stories, new characters, new everything.
That's right.
And tonight we're coming towards the end.
So thank you all so much.
Yon is no yawn.
That's right Steve.
That's fucking right.
I am Turk and I'm here with lads.
Hello.
Hello lads.
Hello.
We return with you three heading up the trail to a small little area that Luna and Paulinella
are leading you towards.
Hey girl hey.
What's up?
Oh the LDND baseball tee.
Hell yeah bud.
Atop a boulder.
A boulder-strone plateau stands a circle of eight megaliths.
As you guys get closer you can see in the center of this hinge a small what looks to
be checker game board with stone playing pieces rests atop the ground near the dying embers
of a campfire.
As you guys approach Luna says shhh.
It's quiet.
There's a way to get them here.
What do we think that would be?
Who are we trying to get here?
The little fillers that do rituals and play stones as music.
The chorus.
Oh well that's easy we just play stones as music.
They don't play stones.
Well they do.
They do play stones as music.
There's this game board.
There's a fire.
What do you guys do?
Well I'm going to find a couple of rocks.
Okay.
I'll be right back.
Violet.
Hops.
You guys get close to the game board.
Both of you make me a wisdom check.
Now remember Violet you can do this as vantage because you finished your personal quest and
got your intelligence back.
Alright well that's a dirty 20.
Nice.
I give it a 14.
Nice.
Small examination of this checker board reveals to you that the pieces depict a game in progress.
Two sets of playing pieces, one made out of shale stone and the other one out of chalk
stone.
They are sculpted in the form of tiny cords.
They are cloven-hoofed creatures with wild beards and hair.
When you guys study this you determine that the shale could probably beat the chalk stone
in a single move.
And Violet I'm going to say that as you're looking at this checker board it brings back
memories of you playing checkers with your father when you were a child.
Whether that brings happiness to you or anger I'll leave that up to you.
Alright well I mean we could try and finish the game.
I mean if we just move that little shale feller over there over to this piece there that's
game win I think.
If I'm reading this board correctly I think we could just move a piece and that.
I don't know if that's going to bring you the closure that you're looking for there
Violet.
I'm not really looking for closure here I'm just saying maybe it will summon the little
fellers because they are.
What sees that these little fellers aren't the stone creatures that because they all
look like the little COVIDs.
What do they call them?
Kriana just redeemed Chaos card.
Violet.
Oh I can't wait.
I knew this was coming.
It was foretold in my pals.
Do you want me to roll to find rocks?
If you want to but I want to let this play out before you do your rock thing first.
I get to shift your camera.
Roll me 1d6.
You're going to be a different colored tiefling for the next few minutes.
Neat.
Hell yeah.
You mean I don't have to paint myself?
That's great let's go.
That's a five.
It's a color that makes you just look normal.
That makes me look beige.
That might be weird looking yeah.
She's regular skid tone.
She's a struggling but she's opening.
No I drew her specifically as color.
Let's see here.
Are you going to play the George Lopez opener?
Are you going to play Lowe Rock?
Very much good.
I found a hollow rock.
And another rock.
Lowe Rock up at a little higher.
I like the blue.
I also like the green.
I was partial to that weird blue and green mixture that happened.
Did you see that one?
It was like a lighter blue.
That's like your logo color right there.
I know.
That's just Children of Proteus.
I love it.
Is that Proteus or what is it Children?
Damn it Janice.
Alright.
Hi I'm Children of Proteus.
I write comic books.
I'm taking the place of Violet Femmes for the evening.
Okay what do you guys do before we let Reiner do his thing?
I mean I'd really like to hear Reiner's rendition of Lowe Rider.
Oh no I can't do that.
No no no.
I wasn't saying I could do that.
No no no.
But I do think that if we just move this one piece maybe that's what sets them free is
the fact that they're mid game.
This could be them themselves.
The race of little guys themselves.
If we finish the game it might set them free.
Chaos card Puberty.
Yes do you do it?
Yeah why not?
Okay.
You slowly you two sit down and then you slowly move the piece forward and you win the game.
As you win the game you guys look behind you and emerging from two of the large stone monoliths
behind you are two of the little creatures.
Two of the Chorids.
One of them's a chalk kind of creature and the other one's of the other stone that was
playing the game.
As they emerge they waddle almost like oompa loompas over to you guys and as a rule of
reciprocity you finished the game and helped the chalk creature win.
It picks up a lump of rock squeezes it tightly between its hands and transforms it into a
star sapphire worth a thousand gold pieces and it hands it over to you.
Why thank you kindly.
As it sits in your hand it begins to glow faintly.
Like it's glowing.
And then they take a step back and the other one looks at you guys and he's like why do
you want?
Luna you knew what we wanted from them?
Yeah she's like so we're trying to get into the hags lair and maybe take out the hag to
save my sister and help these friends find what they lost.
We were hoping maybe you can help.
I heard word that the korids and the brigand rocks used to work for the hag and the korids
are like no no we've never worked for the hag but the brigand rocks do.
We hate them.
We hate the brigand rocks.
Oh.
She's like why?
Why do you hate the brigand rocks?
He's like well we know that the other league is with Endel and Wovegrave working for the
hag.
We know it.
He's like are you positive of that?
He just nods.
Then he waves his hand around and as an action he calls forth out of the monoliths six other
leaders of the korid clan.
Each one emerging from its corresponding megalith.
Each one comes out resembling the stone of the megalith that they came out of.
Flint, Azile, Granite, Slate, etc.
And they all kind of their skin resembles that color and they all waddle out the same
kind of way.
Then one of them says well you're right to find us here but we no longer hold meetings
here at Luckberry Hinge for we fear the consequences of the bitter zent.
And Luna looks at you and she goes people call the hag here bitter zent.
Like that's their nickname for her.
Ah alright.
Now what are your feelings on Zablina the former queen?
We miss her.
For the rain cometh and it hurt our stone.
Years.
Years of rain.
Causes us to crack.
Ah corrosion yeah.
I'd suspect as much.
Yes.
Is the hag the one bringing the rain?
Yes.
We believe yes.
Hmm.
Do you know how we might approach where the hag is?
Well we know you can fly, you can walk, you can climb to get to her home.
But she used iron shears to cut off some of my hair and she fashioned my hair into iron
ropes and uses them to manipulate the people in her theater of infernal contraptions.
Ah like puppets.
Yeah.
As you say puppets you can see that all of the chorids begin to hear it.
They start to grind their teeth and it's like the grinding of rock on rock like and they're
like stomping their hooves on the ground as the faint sound of pickaxes tapping on stone
is carried to them on the wind.
Ting ting ting ting.
And the one you were just talking to runs over to a boulder and picks it up and hurls
it a hundred feet into the direction of the noise while she screams death to all brigand
rocks and an appeal of thunder accompanies this display of anger.
That's a mighty fine right hook you got there.
She turns she looks at you she goes how do you feel about the brigand rocks?
I've never met one to be honest.
But we know that the bitter rocks brigand rocks they're helping bitter end build some
kind of wicked contraption.
We know it to be true.
I can't stand those brigand rocks mining all the time.
Sucks.
And you know we believe that what are they mining for some kind of stone to build some
weird contraption to help the hags theater.
The noise of the mining soon passes as you stand there and conversate a little bit.
The chords seem well disposed to you guys.
They kind of go back to their game a little bit.
They start playing more games and the leader one seems to be.
She looks at you and she's like would you like to join us in a dance?
And two of the chords begin to play drums on boulders as the other ones start stomping
their feet.
Can I join in with them?
Yes you may join in with us.
All our times have come.
Here but now they're gone.
Seasons don't fear the rain heck.
When the sun or the rain we can be like they are.
Come on baby.
Fear the rain.
Come on baby.
Don't fear the rain.
He he he he.
Very good very good very good very good.
After the dancing ends all of them assume their positions and they all lay down and
relax.
It's a pop funk.
South pop funk cheered 100 a first time cheerer.
Beautiful.
Hey cheers buddy first time cheerer out here.
South pop funk just redeemed chaos card.
Reena.
All right Reena.
It's a chaos card kind of night.
Yeah it is thank god it's been a while.
You guys are showing up and showing out.
I like it.
Does this keep up this energy for the rest of the season?
Flashback.
Cheers ba da.
I got it.
Cheers boo-ba.
Flashback.
I've got the thing don't worry about it.
Fair enough.
I think I also have a thing.
Do I have a fucking fedora?
I don't know.
I don't think I do.
But I have music for you hold on.
Yes give me flashback music.
Okay.
Oh it's rainy in the background too that's pretty cool.
Is it this one?
I just did this recently for a clip that we did.
Nope.
That is not.
I'm going to sell you overpriced medicine.
There it is.
Is it chlamydogone?
Because that stuff don't work.
Oh it 60% of the time it works every time.
You want me to keep my accent for this?
Sure yeah for sure.
Selena she was a tight girl.
Very tight like a tiger.
I think that she's gone back to her room for now.
As I lay here in my bed I contemplate the decisions I made tonight.
I think they were good decisions.
But who knows?
She could come back to haunt me one day.
I'm not sure.
Three days earlier title card.
I'm sitting at the bar alone again.
No one is talking to me.
Then Selena taps my shoulder from the back and hands me a big glass of wine.
What are you doing here stranger?
She says in a taunting manner.
I turn around and my whole penis is out of my pants at this point.
It's the same thing I always do every day sweetheart.
And then we got kicked out of the tavern for indecent exposure.
That's how it began.
The three days of fucking with Selena treks.
Alright I'm done.
That's all I have for you.
Oh shit no not that one.
Wrong chroma key.
It's about time to turn off yours as well although I was loving the blue tiefling.
Yeah it was nice to be this way.
Feels right this color.
Same thing we do every night Selena.
Try and fuck over the world.
Here we go.
After your speech the Chorids they all dance around you and they go.
We've never heard such a speech like that.
Quite a story.
Wait are you talking to me?
You guys heard that?
Yes.
Oh we can't ever un-hear it as I'm covering Trinket's ears.
And oh I forgot to do a thing.
While you guys were dancing the Cult of the Reaper totally just uh Blue Earth's occult
song totally got me distracted.
Each one of you guys while you're dancing can roll me a performance check because there
may be a benefit in it for you.
Ryner earned plus one to tiger heart rolls for sure.
That's a 13 for me.
Okay did any of you guys get under a 13?
Okay so everybody except Hops.
When you guys succeed on this check you guys are each taught a special dance jig that when
performed as an action allows you to manipulate any kind of Chorid hair that you might find
inside Motherhorn.
Inside the castle.
As if like you were using the command hair trait the Chorids have.
So the leader tells you hopefully that helps.
And this is a dance to do this?
Yes.
It's a dance jig.
Fair enough.
So we have a rivalry with the Briggle Rocks and we plan to go to the mine.
We plan to take them out.
If you want to join us to fight these guys maybe you could learn something about Motherhorn.
Something extra if you like.
Of course you can also just head there by way of Trek if you prefer and we will handle
this on our own but that is completely up to you.
I think at least the least less fluffy of us could definitely help you take out the
mineshaft.
Okay.
Alright.
Yes we are heading to a mine and if we survive this I think out of reciprocity us four may
go with you to Motherhorn.
Maybe we can assist in your battle because fuck this hag.
Yes fuck the hag.
Then I start playing it again.
Then I'll start again.
All the turns have come.
It's hard not to sing with you on that song and I probably ruined it before but it's hard
not to sing with you because it's fucking lovely.
It was good.
I thought it was alright.
Alright nice.
Hell yeah.
Okay.
That my friends is where we're going to end it for tonight.
Next time we come back you guys will be going into the mine and doing all the things and
everything else like that.
Should be lots of fun.
Lots of fun.
And I do want to remind everybody, everybody that's watching here is going to leave before
our short rest because we're going to come back and do that.
Next week Fishy won't be here.
It is their son's birthday.
Congratulations to him.
Happy birthday to Fishy's son.
The guppy as we like to say.
Father, it is my birthday.
It is his birthday.
Father, it's my birthday.
The guppy.
May I request thee thy trip to the tourney of that is, that is thou, Davin Busters.
For that is his true wish, is to dine upon the sweet nectar that is thy, Davin Busters.
Father, may I have a hay penny for the merry-go-round?
I love that.
Hell yeah.
So I might see about getting a guest or another couch crew member to come sit in the seat
for the night just for some extra fun.
But it'll be a shorter stream next week depending on how fast we get through what I have prepared.
Yeah, that's kind of the plan.
And I do want to remind everybody here that the following week we will not be live here
on Sunday.
And then we go after that, it'll be my birthday.
And if you have any questions or you forget what day was that, you can always check our
schedule and I'll update everybody in Discord as well when that shit happens.
Yeah.
We are going to come back for our short rest to discuss a little bit about what the fuck
happened tonight and whatever else we have going on.
Hell yeah.
Should be pretty good.
Perse, you want to shout out yourself before we go to our short rest?
Yeah.
I mean, I'm the reason we'll be taking off a week because I'll be heading to stateside
so I won't have anything.
But if you get a chance and you can somehow make it to Amarillo, Texas, I'll be dressed
as Violet Phemes all Sunday long so you get to have a picture with the Violet Phemes.
Just saying if you want to maybe hop in the car for a day trip.
It's a, you know, you get a chance to hang out with myself.
Spiced Ray and Obstracta will all be there for the whole weekend.
Yellow City Comic Con, baby.
That's right.
Fucking badass.
It's very exciting.
The whole weekend.
Oh yeah.
The whole weekend.
And if you're in Riverside, come to Death Clock.
That's where me and Fishy will be.
What's up, dude?
That's right.
So we'll be right back in a few minutes, everybody.
We love you.
Don't go anywhere.
That's right.
Fucking metal.
The food libraries.
I just want to go and see Planet Pass.
And a raid from Another World's Tabletop.
Yeah.
A raid from Another World's Tabletop as well.
It was Steve.
Yeah.
Oh, we love those guys.
We do.
Cops family, baby.
Well, Fishy won't be here next week, so I'll give it to you.
Fishy ain't going to be here.
These guys are going to delve into a mine to see if they can solve a political issue
between a bunch of rock creatures to get their help to go into the Hag's Lair so they can
find their lovers, their sisters, the things that they have lost before they finally go
to the Heart's Palace of Desire to finally freeze Ablena.
Will they make it?
Who fucking knows?
But tune in next week.
That's right, baby.
On Sunday to see what the hell's going on.
And we got one more week of our off time with SideQuester.
That following week we'll be back, baby.
So don't hang in there for Fallout on SideQuester.