Welcome back to another episode of- wait, where's my monitor? There it is!
Of LOVE, DEATH, AND DICE!
Wait, where is my-
Where's my monitor? That's right, I found it.
Hi everybody, thank you so much for joining us. Thank you for being here, thank you for being awesome.
Um, thank you all so much for joining us and being here for this lovely episode-
Episode 10 of Love, Death, and Dice the Dragon Vault!
Can y'all believe it? Can y'all believe we've come this far?
Yeah.
I can't. I can't believe it. But we've done it.
Uh, yeah, no, yeah, definitely. I definitely didn't think I'd make it this far.
Yeah, definitely not this far.
I'm surprised they haven't killed me yet. Yeah, that's-
Yeah.
Wait, why haven't we sacrificed the robot yet?
Because of the dragon.
Oh, right, right.
Yeah, you're saving to sacrifice me to the dragon.
That's every explanation ever.
Why have you done this? There's a dragon!
There's a dragon.
Why have you lowered that?
Bucket won't let you. Bucket said we sacrificed the robot, they riot.
Okay, that's fair.
Aww.
Yay!
So, this is episode 10 of Love, Death, and Dice. We've got a couple few more episodes of this campaign here left.
It's been a dang old blast, and I'm just happy to be here.
I'm Dungeon Master Turkey!
I'm here with three of my favorite people that I love rolling dice with and meeting up with every single fucking Sunday.
Proteus, the lovely artist, one and all extraordinaire.
Say no word.
Also Connor, the lovely mustached actor, voice actor, amazing man.
And last but not least, Fishy, the one, the only, the one behind the automaton masks himself.
That's right. Costume extraordinaire.
Nerds, geeks, and freaks, a part of the couch and a part of the roof.
Aww, so defiable!
Happy Thanksgiving.
I'm thankful for Odie introducing me to this pack of fellow Asylum escapees and D&D debauchery.
Aww.
That's right, baby. That's right.
I love debauchery.
I'm thankful for you too, Certifiable.
I'm also thankful for Odie. Hell yeah.
I thought I could give an item to someone.
But it's random.
You can pick a person.
I'm thankful for the dragon.
Hell yeah, Connor.
Also, I gotta say, I'm drinking, I believe it's Lucky Charms Pale Ale.
Cheers, edgy!
Perfect timing.
It's from Fall.
It's called Magical and Delicious.
And it's got all the Lucky Charms on there.
It's a Pale Ale.
I think it's a Lucky Charms beer.
You know me.
I see things and I'm like, that sounds disgusting.
I'm down.
Cause I'm about experiences in this life.
It's like when you smell that old gym bag that's been in your closet for three weeks.
You're like, oh, that's awful.
You go in for a second whiff because it's an experience.
Isn't that the pit me of people that like the, what are they called again?
It's called masochism.
IPAs? Yeah.
Cheers, everybody.
This is disgusting.
Try it.
I'm going to try it.
Yes.
That's exactly it.
Those people.
Masochists or IPA lovers.
You go first, folks.
As a masochist, I haven't ever gone back to re-sniff my roller derby bag when it whiffs a bit.
I'm like, immediately gets washed.
Definitely want to watch out for the dragon.
Yeah, Connor.
Comedy comes in sixes.
Cheers to masochism.
All right, here we go.
Delicious.
Here we go.
Damn it, Daddy.
IPAs when you really need to drink rubber bands.
Daddy.
I mean, yeah.
Yeah.
Also, hi, Gallo.
I did see you sub while we were starting.
Thank you for supporting the show, Gallo.
Welcome back, Frank.
Um.
Sit down, weird.
That hurts.
You guys ready?
Wait for some story.
Who is your daddy?
Who's your daddy?
Um.
Welcome back, everybody.
Love, Death and Dice, episode 10.
Thank you so much for joining us.
Tonight, we start off right where we left off last week.
You three.
You had to track down the Nimble Wright invention,
the object that you need, one of three,
to get down inside of the Dragon Vault once and for all.
But upon going to the Temple of the Hand,
it was being attacked by a bunch of creatures.
You put a stop to those creatures only to find
that the Nimble Wright, formerly named Nim,
had been stolen.
And you followed the tracks to a sewer grate.
And the last thing you said before we ended the episode was,
well, guess we're going down in the sewers again.
And you were correct.
For tonight, our story begins with you three
walking to the sewers, tracking the trail of whom
or whatever it was that had stolen the Nimble Wright
from the Temple of the Hand.
I would like each one of you, we start off tonight,
to make me a wisdom check.
I'm going to be a survival, if you will.
Yes.
Yeah.
Which one?
Someone's got black on black dice.
I rolled it.
That's a 17.
I don't know what's going on with my dice.
So that's why we always do a first roll.
Give her a check to see how she's going.
Oh, no, these are these.
These are my dice.
I'm switching my dice.
Why are they black on black?
I don't know.
I don't know why they're black on black.
These are my dice.
Oh, I might have removed maybe a dice mod you were using.
Oh, stuff. Yeah.
Just slap a color on that bad boy.
Oh, working on it.
Yeah.
Technical difficulties, everybody.
I swear to God, if that song isn't a jam, if everyone out there in chat
wasn't jamming along with that fucking song, dude, that's just like.
All right, give us a roll, Bumbling.
You know how long it took me to settle on those dice.
Don't you understand?
I think these ones, these ones are nice.
You could do it on break.
All your horses.
I think you could do it on break.
I think he's got a nice little horse.
He's got a nice little horse.
That's pretty good.
Boy goblin was head banging along.
Hell yeah, dude. Hell yeah.
Okay.
It looks like you did get an 18 on your first roll.
Raz got a 17 and of course, T three, five, seven, got a nine as always.
So it doesn't.
It doesn't take you long.
You follow the trail of the horse washing through the water.
You follow these trails of this object being dragged and effort,
like different little bones that have been thrown down on the ground.
You follow this trail all the way to this doorway inside of the sewers.
And you can see next to the doorway,
there's that familiar symbol you've seen more than a few times.
It's a circle with a bunch of lines sticking out of it.
And you can see the
bottom of the circle directly down this spiraling staircase.
Do you think they're going to run into another gazer?
I don't know.
It's been a while since me and Reverend Raz lived in the sewers.
That was a dark time, wasn't it?
I don't know what happened to you.
My God has forsaken me.
No, your God hasn't forsaken you.
He was just upset because you were putting fucking portals right in his living room.
I don't think that was the problem.
I think I disappointed you in some other way.
Well, we're going to need you to cheer up, buddy, because you got to get through this dungeon.
Right.
OK.
You three follow the trail down the stairs.
I would like to lead.
Hell yeah, you can.
You follow this spiral staircase.
It's accessible from the sewers all the way down.
And the walls of this narrow spiraling staircase are carved with open eyes that glow with a faint magical light as you walk down, lighting the way of your steps.
And guess what?
We have a map for tonight.
It's map time, everybody.
I'm the map. I'm the map. I'm the map. I'm the map. I'm the map. I'm the map.
I am the man.
Dude, Crimson bought a nerd hat.
Crimson.
Yeah, dude.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, Crimson.
Cheers, buddy.
Yeah, dude.
Now we can match, bro.
Yeah, dude.
You got the distressed one, but still.
Badass.
Can I just say that Reverend Raz looks like one of those new age hip hop artists?
I want to buy your album on the SoundCloud.
Yeah, fucking rap to me about that, bro.
Really dark and twisted.
Think about death every day.
Nice. Nice. Yeah.
Okay. All right.
Raps these days, they don't rhyme anymore.
No rhyme anymore.
Rhyming's dumb.
All right.
Skirt.
Because reach the bottom of the spiraling staircase to see in front of you a door.
You creak open the door and take a gander inside to see in front of you is a lit up hall.
And the walls, immediately you notice the walls are carved with eyes of all different shapes and sizes.
Many of them have eyelids even that open and close at seemingly random intervals.
Does my magic eye see anything about them?
You can tell.
Let me see here.
All of the blinking eyes are some kind of like magical decoration, but because of your eye, you can tell that they're unnerving, but seemingly harmless.
Hell, industrials.
That's right.
Now, feel free to move your tokens, everybody, whomever wants like to go first and move first and do whatever.
Well, I'm in front, right?
Yeah, that's true.
Yeah.
All right.
As you step out first, Raz, roll me a perception roll.
You got it, Daddy.
What is that wisdom?
Yes, sir.
It was.
That's going to be eight.
All right.
Sounds good.
You don't see nothing.
Shit.
All right, boys, now don't move too far.
Here's what I'm going to say.
You can move around freely in the room, but if you want to make any kind of action, any kind of roll, open any kind of door or go into any other kind of room, you must wait your turn.
And we're going to go clockwise is what we're going to do.
And Raz just went because he was up first in the order of things.
So now we're going to let Proteus go next.
I heard to see Bomblin all the way around this this here corner here.
Yeah, but I will be right there.
I will be right there.
All right.
I'm in a big rush.
Moving it back and forth.
Don't you also make me a perception roll.
Go ahead.
I mean, you're pacing.
You're pacing.
Right.
They're fucking one.
Yes, yes, it is.
It's a one.
All right.
You don't see anything.
Is there any direction?
Go ahead.
I was going to say I would like to do a.
I was going to do see if I could see through any of the walls.
Or the walls or doors with a intelligence role with my eye.
Your magical eye.
Badass. Yeah.
Aren't you going to head and roll it for me?
We think also can explain what the eye does as well.
Right.
Yeah.
That's a two.
The glass eye can be installed with the physician's help.
You can now see heat, magical auras and illusion magic with a hard intelligence
role.
You can even get glimpses through walls, doors or gates.
And do shit with a two.
All right.
Would you like to go north or south?
No.
All right.
So then we're going to move up here to a bomb.
And then who looks like he's already ready to head north.
What do you do, my friend?
I would like to strength bear charge this door.
Okay.
With the intention of like blasting through it or just breaking open the door.
Just but just like barely.
All right.
Roll me a strength, buddy.
Yeah, it's a 16.
That'll do it.
You barrel through this door.
I'm going to say you go at least six meters.
Oh, wow.
And into a hallway.
Fucking hallways.
Do I still have a hole of the door?
No, no, not in a 16.
No.
I was just as where did you go?
Right here.
All right.
We're back to you.
You're going to move up with Bomblin.
I guess.
Yeah.
Whenever we do move forward, if you guys are just tagging along, you could move your tokens as well.
You don't have to wait for me to know.
I mean, come back to you.
Actually, no, I'm going to go.
I'm going to go the other way.
Because I just remembered if I if I do want to try and kill people.
I don't have to.
That's a detrimental if everybody else is around me.
You know, yeah, there is a rule in D&D to not split the party because things may end in death, but I will not stop any of you from doing anything.
I remember you say map, and that's what matters.
I didn't design this dungeon.
Wizards did.
So good luck.
Wizards did.
I can fight me wizards.
I got a cool map card.
Can I open this door?
Yes.
You open the door.
Oh, yeah.
Now you can't move.
You can move in if you want to.
You step inside.
Let me tell you what you see.
Just a second here.
You step inside to see pillars carved with eyes.
It follows the curvature of this hall, and these eyes seem to track creatures as they pass by.
So as you step inside, it almost looks like it's following you.
As you walk inside, it's just a full curved kind of hallway that you can see a little ways around.
It looks like there's a door further down in this dungeon room.
So you can't go in there.
Okay.
Yeah.
Okay.
T three five seven.
Oh.
What do you do?
Say again.
I said I am tagging along the bomb way to see.
Okay.
I just like realize that I'm through a hallway and then start charging and build up momentum to just bust through the next door.
Okay.
Third, if I will also said not so much as a rule as a suggestion by bomb was going to try to burst through a door.
I'll make it an easy role.
It's going to be to 12.
That's a two to slam into the door.
But as you slam into the door after the door starts rattling, you hear on the other side like a moaning and then like almost like a releasing of gas.
You hear like, yeah.
And then like, oh, I thought I thought based on the descriptor that sounded like it was going to be something completely different.
Yeah, it was going to be like, oh, found the bathrooms.
Oh, I found the bathroom, guys.
He's a shitter.
Okay.
You don't need to break down this door, but if you want to just open it, I'm just going to be on it.
But I just could not.
I think it'd be funny if I just walk past and just casually open the handle.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, like hit the door.
Oh, wait and pass turn.
He opens the door, my friends.
Yeah, Tess, are you invisible?
There we go.
Now, as you you guys not see each other.
I just don't know.
Nobody she does.
Oh, things.
I got you.
Well, as you step inside, you see immediately what seems to be one of those floating eye things.
But it almost looks undead floating around this room.
The eyes on its head turn and look right at you.
And it looks a little something like this.
We send it over.
Is it going to send?
Oh, no, I see.
I see.
It's not going to send.
OK.
Well, you know what?
I can't show you what it looks like yet, but I'll get this fixed on our first break.
Anyways, it looks fucking disgusting.
Accompanying it are four other little tiny creatures that seem to be shooting out gas from inside of it.
And as you walk inside, all of them turn and look at you.
I'm going to need you all to roll me initiative.
And we're going to cut back over to Raz.
You hear from over there, them slam open the door and then you hear the moaning.
Noises.
Oh, they found the bathroom.
Cool.
I guess.
I guess I'll walk over there.
At least start to walk over there.
Door slamming and moaning me like yesterday.
I'm not OK.
And I'll let you.
I'll let you start initiative right here.
Since you were in the other room, you're going to be the back end of the initiative.
Bomb Lens going first.
Hold on.
Let me roll for enemies here.
It's an 11.
Go away from me to.
No, not that is.
Seven.
You mean 57.
I'm testing out new things already for our next campaign, you know, so just ignore me sometimes.
All right, Bondlin, you're first.
What do you do?
Is there any like statues or anything in this room?
No, the room is almost completely empty just with these four creatures floating around in it.
Fucking whack.
This is actually one of my newer spells.
So I assume the form or conjure one to 10 Ravens.
These birds are living things with your intellect.
Jason, really good.
I'm going to go with the basic damage.
In the form of a raven cast spells with a hard roll, but can't speak or use.
So if I were going to attack with a 10 little birdie Ravens to a to a bunch of eyeballs.
So I like just like basic damage.
Fuck.
I rolled.
But I think it would be I think it would be like 10 basic damages, like just like going into an exploding.
Yeah.
All right.
Test.
What do you do?
I would, in fact, like to activate my ring of invisibility.
Ooh.
Remind me again.
Is there a role on that?
It is.
I don't know if there's a role to activate it, but I know there's a role to see how many rounds they last.
Ooh.
Well, you've already been seen, but you can go invisible and then move.
Yes.
Yeah, I think that's I think that's good.
See here.
Trying to switch our windows.
Sorry.
Not that.
There is to us.
There we go.
Now.
To be able to do.
Yes.
Now you can see what it looks like.
No, I know.
I know.
What's that?
I said, well, isn't he fun?
Oh, yeah.
He's big time fun.
OK, so you're going to go invisible.
Go on ahead and make me a role to go invisible.
Basically to roll.
How many rounds you get to be invisible for?
Yeah, that's pretty good.
Pretty good.
All right.
Now that you're invisible, do you do anything?
Move to the other side of the room.
OK.
You can move yourself.
Go ahead.
Also, this is what the other things look like.
Gross.
Yeah.
Gross.
You don't see.
Oh, because I made it invisible.
There you go.
Hey.
Now we're back at Raz before I get to go.
You do, Raz.
Well, I guess I'm going to run into the room.
At the very least.
Right.
You can move long, but then you can't make an action.
It's a rule of the system.
That ends your go.
Well, did it?
It said 15.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's a long move.
OK.
The big thing in the center.
This putrid, zombified, beholder looking entity opens its mouth and its teeth spread like.
The fuck just happened?
I don't feel good.
I feel like a robot.
I feel like suddenly stealing everything that is in my mouth.
Did one of you change your nicknames and discord or something just now?
No.
Nope.
That's what would change your order.
That's weird.
No.
I do.
Don't you chaos called me?
Who is this?
Yes, car test.
Thank you.
Appreciate it.
Let's get this fixed real quick.
I'm just going to rename you.
Change nickname.
Wrong place.
Well, hey there, guys.
I got the stone of the lower and a sweet little Griffin.
Oh, that's normal.
Haha, now you are just you, and I am the ever expanding vast of nothing.
Oh, no, I'm back to being a robot.
Haha.
There you go.
Jesus Christ.
Oh, God.
OK, a cash card for test.
But first, I'm going to make my turn.
It turns and opens his jaw and you can see like a little spittle and stuff that like moves and its eyeballs spin around.
And then it connects an eyeball right at you, Raz.
And I need you, my friend, to make me a I could put it in chat.
Does it go to chat?
It does.
I need you to make me a Constitution save.
I can't save.
Yes, sir.
That's in eleven.
You fail.
Oh, yes.
You are paralyzed for the next round.
You can repeat the saving throw at the end of each of your turns, ending the effect itself on a success.
You're just paralyzed for the next round.
This is a zombie beholder.
We're using the I'm homebrewing it a little bit.
Don't worry about that.
But then.
He's a crazy ass little gas things.
One of them, whenever you run past it, Proteus, even though you're invisible.
You like wind like touches it and then it starts to like fizzle like.
And then it explodes.
And gas goes everywhere in a circular radius.
I need you to make me a Constitution saving throw.
Oh, this is how we all die.
How do you die?
That's a three.
You think some zombie beholder is going to put me down?
Some zombie beholder.
It's damn sure going to try.
It's going to try.
You six plus two, you take six damage.
Oh, wow.
It's fucking poison.
Poison gas.
Oh, oh, no.
We roll.
Oh, Tess got a reroll.
That's a little bit nice.
Not that well, not a little bit better, but not good.
That would be a seven plus four, which is an eleven, which is better.
But no cigar.
But I am a robot.
How am I affected by poisons?
Don't ask me.
You're a robot.
I have been a robot.
I don't know why she blows.
I don't know.
ICR PG doesn't have anything about war for having immunity to poison or
whatever, so.
It's a good point.
You make a really good point.
I think if you were in a different system.
D and D.
Yeah.
Wait, hold on.
Yeah?
Oh, the phone.
Whenever you get in front of your microphone like that, we can't hear you.
Hold on.
All right.
I feel like I'm having a thing.
I'm going to draw her card on her turn, Gallop.
Thank you for the reminder.
What do you have?
One moment.
I am wearing the mark of the serpent. Equip this bracelet. You cannot be poisoned by normal venom or toxins.
Hell yeah.
Okay, so then what I will do when this thing explodes, each creature within 20 feet has to succeed on a con save or they take D6 poison damage and they become inflicted with a disease on a failed save.
Preachers immune to the poisoned condition are immune to this disease.
So it will stop you from taking the disease.
I'm not going to explain what the disease is because we don't know yet, but you will be immune from taking the disease.
Yeah, I hate that.
Yeah, I like that.
I would now are these creatures or are they little like bombs? Are they living?
They are living.
They are living creatures.
Now did this one just suicide itself?
Yeah, like it sensed your presence and suicided. Like it didn't see you, but it knew you were there somehow.
Yeah.
Okay.
Moving on.
This one up here at the top is actually going to attack Raz as well being that you're currently immobile Raz as you're standing there paralyzed tentacles that are attached to this thing kind of come out of the wall.
And then you can see in the dirt one of its tentacles that is in the dirt under your feet comes up and tries to whip you through the dirt.
And then you can see the tentacles that are attached to this thing.
So that's going to be a little bit of a fun.
I'm going to make an attack roll.
Glad that went the direction that it did.
Question mark.
What the?
The four?
Question mark.
What?
Yeah, we saw question marks.
Did you?
Yeah, that was weird.
Oh, it's because you guys don't have the D&D Beyond thing set up yet.
That's why.
There were garlic parm french fries.
Delicious.
Yeah, it's true.
So true.
So yeah, just keep an eye on the screen.
Maybe.
Okay.
And then the last one does the same thing, but to Bomblin instead.
And they got a 12 plus zero to attack a 12 does not hit Bomblin.
It does not.
Does not.
All right.
Now we're back to your turn Bomblin.
What do you do?
I'm going to go.
All right.
I think I'm going to go.
I'll get my character sheet.
Pop out character sheet.
Fucking me up.
All right.
We're going to jump over.
Wait, is that thing still attached to Raz?
No, no, no. It's not attached. No.
Okay.
I'm going to go with the zombie beholder.
The zombie beholder with my bone sword.
As I jump over,
it's going to like form into the bone sword is that we're going to try
and stab it right in the eye.
Ice.
Showed that bone right into that.
Beat a 15.
I should have picked my ass with it before I give it pink eye.
Plus four. That's only an 11. That's sad.
I've been able to roll over a 10 this entire time and it's very annoying.
Right.
Well, my friend,
you could use your couch coin or that ends your turn.
Fuck it. I'll use my couch coin.
All right.
The only one for tonight.
Yeah, baby. Let's go.
Dirty 20.
Let's go, man.
Roll that bad boy.
Magical damage because it's a magical sword.
That's terrifying. I do two damage.
That's it. I do too. Yeah.
That's it.
All right.
Two damage. Sounds good.
All right. Now,
T three five seven.
It's your go.
This thing's dead.
Now, because they cannot see me, I can use my assassin ability now.
Correct. Yeah.
Which means you cannot miss.
Excellent.
Yeah.
First, shall we draw your card?
You want to do it now?
How industrious.
Draw it now might as well.
We all know I'm going to draw terrible.
Select a hand for this toolbar.
And for the toolbar.
The heck?
Here we go.
Chaos card.
Draw mode. Random.
Oh, God, it's got Timmy Pickles on it.
Oven mitts doesn't help you in battle at all, but you got to run your kitchen.
Grab your oven mitts and an apron and wear them for five minutes.
Go, go, go.
I don't own any of those.
Oh,
Do you want me to do it?
What is the equivalent?
I can go get my oven mitts.
Alright, if both you two in solidarity do this for T three five seven.
Maybe it'll help her rolls, boys.
Maybe it'll help her rolls.
Solidarity.
Everyone watching at home, I hope you go grab oven mitts and an apron and just put them on out of solidarity to help T three five seven's rolls.
Join us in the ceremonial oven mitts pudding.
I'm going to drag my bear head.
Mittens and beanie.
That works.
There you go.
Wait.
There we go.
Ah.
Does anybody else feel like baking?
Hey.
This crack open about Dela with a fucking floral oven mittens.
No.
He's very dark and twisted.
Yeah, he is.
Very good.
Okay.
T three five seven.
Now you have the luck of the mitten.
What do you do?
I would like to throw my swarmer darts with the crossbow.
Nice.
That's badass.
That's fire damage.
That also means you can't miss, right?
But you still got to roll for how many targets?
Yes, I split into one D six darts and hit up to six targets with one attack.
Nice.
Hell yeah.
Roll that D six.
Let's go.
Oh, it's only two targets.
That's still two darts.
Where do you want them to go?
At the two little dudes on the sides.
Nice.
Go ahead and roll me your damage.
So this is weapon damage and then an extra D four fire damage.
The two and the one.
Three.
Well, it's a four and a three.
Nice.
Seven.
Perfect.
Now what happens as these darts hit these things?
Like you shoot it up in the air and it separates and then goes right for these two different things as it hits them.
Both of them begin to like shake and fizzle like and like little bits of gas start coming out of them like they're getting ready to explode.
Seven damage.
It's pretty good.
Pretty good.
All right, Raz.
You're paralyzed this round, but you can still talk.
Oh, great.
Fantastic.
Yes.
I would love to get out of this paralyzation.
Can I try?
You can try.
Get out early.
Go for it.
What is it a con?
Yeah.
It's always a con.
Oh, cool.
You fail my friend.
That's a 12.
Not good enough.
But your body cracks and you come out of the paralyzation.
As you do, the two other little fizzy gas things on the wall explode and gas just fills that whole side of the room.
There's nowhere for the gas to go.
So it just fills up everything over there.
And then the beholder zombie turns and cracks its neck a little bit like.
It has a.
Yeah, it's jaw to say, I don't know why I said neck.
It's jaw.
And then it lunges out and tries to bite Bomblin.
Oh, no.
Yeah.
Oops.
It rolled all at once.
Wasn't supposed to do that.
Once again.
There we go.
There's our roll.
Too much.
That's a 21.
What?
It's a it was 18 plus three.
Bomblin, that hits you.
A. Yeah, that does hit me.
It does hit you.
All right.
That is a D six plus three.
And doesn't it break your crystal?
Brings it down one brings it down.
One year.
What is your AC now?
But it would be 20 because you matched.
OK.
Well, he went no.
Yeah, now it's 20.
OK, nice.
You take eight damage, Bomblin.
Oh, yeah.
Ah, he bites you.
And now it's your turn.
Did you say that entire side of the room is filled with gas?
I did say that.
Yes.
That's interesting.
Did you say that the zombie beholder is in part of that gas?
At least a little bit.
Yeah, sure.
Yeah.
All right.
Now, would you say that this gas would be flammable?
Definitely.
Absolutely.
Oh, great.
All right.
I'm going to take my military hat and just just shoot it right past the beholder right
at the wall.
OK.
I'm down.
It's a magic roll, right, to do it.
But we'll make it an easy role since you're just aiming for the wall.
So you only got to be to 12.
Oh, they got a bit of 12 guys.
Good luck.
I clicked it.
There it goes.
Yeah, I rolled a nine.
You can't can't roll it up again.
That sucks.
Yeah.
T357, you're next.
What do you do?
You've got to be a little bit more careful.
You've got to be careful.
You've got the luck of the mittens on your side.
What do you do?
Do I?
Yes.
I would like to throw my poisoned blade of return at the beholder.
Nice.
All right.
Let's do it.
Oh, that would be I rolled the wrong thing.
It would be a dex, correct?
Yes, ma'am.
Let's do it.
Yeah, it's a four plus two that makes it a six.
It's a sad day.
The luck of the mittens done no more.
Chat.
Stupid man.
Was there any luck to the mittens in the first place?
I was hoping so.
I was hoping there was luck at the mittens.
Because I rolled shit last time, too.
I just couldn't miss because of my own thing.
All right.
Well, she failed her role.
You boys can take your mittens off.
Yeah.
All right, Raz.
Sure go.
Would do.
I would like to be unparalyzed.
You are.
You are unparalyzed.
There's only for one round.
Yeah, I am unparalyzed.
Fantastic.
I'm going to go ahead and just touch the eyeball of that thing and activate an intelligence
spell, which will be soul siphon.
Badass.
Here we go.
Fifteen.
That's an eighteen.
Plus three.
That's eighteen.
Hell yeah.
It works.
You succeed.
Very good.
Let me roll.
Oh, wait.
Guess what?
Moe foe.
Mm.
Because of my liverum arcano, a roll of fifteen plus when casting is now a roll of fifteen
plus when casting is now a roll of fifteen.
When casting is now critical.
That is so now I'm going to roll magic and my ultimate for damage.
That is.
That's thirteen damage.
Plus one and plus three.
That's sixteen damage.
Oh, yes.
That's a lot of damage.
You put your finger in its eye and you like touch his eye and you suck the soul out of
its eye and as you pull your eye away, like it doesn't even have an iris in its eye.
So you just pull and there's just all this goop that just like follows your finger and
throw it off.
And it's almost as if what you just did didn't really affect it.
But you can tell you've damaged it, but it doesn't feel pain.
It's just like, ah, ah.
Yeah, it's kind of just like, what the fuck, dude?
What the fuck, dude?
OK, you're giving it giving it pink eye and I moved you up and made sense.
If you're going to be touching its eye, you got to be closer unless you want to be on
this side.
You could be on this side.
Well, the good thing is that I definitely am healed now.
It points its eye at you and shoots another ray out of one of its eyes, but this time
at you, I need you to make me a wisdom saving throw of 15.
Oh, God.
Fucking nine to nine.
You fall under the effects of a fear ray.
You are scared, meaning you cannot move closer to the beholder and you actually want to move
away from it.
If you want to attack it, you have disadvantage on your attacks or in this system, they're
hard attacks.
So try and hit it.
You got to do an 18 now.
And at the beginning of each of your turns, you can try to redo this check to remove the
effects of fear.
At the beginning?
Yes.
Nope.
At the end of each of your turns.
Yeah, sorry, but shouldn't have reminded me.
But I guess what is your turn now?
I'm going to try to hit it with my sword and I'll definitely go for the hard roll.
OK.
So statistically, I can't have any more bad dice.
Yeah, I mean, that's a 12, which means you miss this.
A plus.
Well, I got a very scared.
I'm going to like proceed to try and run away.
A little area here because it keeps rolling off screen.
All right, and you run away.
Sounds good.
T357, it's you now.
What do you do?
I'd like to attempt to throw my poison dagger of return again.
Nice.
Hell yeah.
Let's do it.
I mean, it keeps coming back, so.
Yeah.
Two people rolled dice.
That is my wisdom save at the end of the turn.
Oh, nice.
You succeeded.
Oh, yeah.
Right.
But T357 only got an eight on their dexterity.
What's up with you and your dice rolls, man?
I don't I don't get it.
Every episode, they hate you.
I don't understand.
Look at your face.
You're like fucking son of a bitch.
Reminds me of Hannibal Burr and his Mortal Kombat finisher move where he throws apples
at them until they die.
Yeah.
You're good.
All right, Raz.
T357 throws their dagger and misses again.
A common occurrence.
Now it's your turn.
Apparently I'm on hard mode.
Yeah.
Going to bring my hands together.
And shove them into the eyes of the bastard and do soul siphon again.
Nice.
Hell yeah.
Don't fucking fail, please.
God.
I'll try not to.
Oh, look at that.
It's a five.
Oh, wait, not seven.
Seven.
That's about right.
On this failure, Raz, I'm going to fix the didn't still didn't fix it.
Why?
I need you to make me another save on this here failure.
And I'm going to make it in intelligence save just quickly.
It is now re-roll.
Oh, yeah.
It's re-roll powers.
Yeah.
But here goes my save.
Re-roll.
Wow, that's a seven.
Another seven.
OK, I'll let you take it on either roll.
Well, if I do the initial one that I won't have to save, right?
True.
Well, then I'll do it on the initial attack.
Hiya.
That's a 15.
Which meets the target.
You succeed.
Bad ass.
Hooray.
Yay.
Thanks, Powers.
Yeah.
Thanks, Powers.
Oh, yeah.
So 15 plus is critical.
So I'll go ahead and do my energy and magic and my ultimate.
Seven plus eight.
Whatever that is.
That's.
Stick your eye so deep into this thing's eye socket and you just soul siphon the life out of it, which heals you.
And if you don't think you've taken any damage and it slowly drops to the floor face first onto the ground.
When it does, you can see blood just spill out of it and you can just see all these like arrows and other kinds of weapons like sticking in the back of this thing.
And it's just face first on the ground.
What type of weapons?
I don't know.
You want to make me a wisdom save to look for the weapons on this thing's back?
I want to know what's in there.
Oh, look at that.
So 15 plus two.
There's a couple few things.
But one thing strikes your eye.
Raz.
It looks to me a long pole.
It's a long pole with a blade at the end.
You grip it tough, rip it out of the back as blood just sprays along the wall and you pull it out.
My friend, you have grabbed yourself what I like to call the chance lance.
The chance.
The chance lance, my friend, is a lance is a throwable spear of a lance.
He's looking around for a lance prop.
You'll see that everybody does what he's looking around for a land is like chance.
Like, oh, I have a lance.
Who's got a land?
Once you're ready for the description of this magical weapon, let me know.
I'm ready.
No problem.
The chance lance is a throwable lance.
You can do normal attacks with it, stabbing people.
But if you throw this lance when thrown, it does an additional one before thunder damage.
And when it strikes an enemy, they must make a dexterity saving throw.
And on a fail, you swap places with them.
That's pretty cool.
Chance lance.
Non-negotiable.
Swap, swap.
Every time you throw this thing, they make a dex save.
So like, even if you don't want to swap places, but you're still going to throw it for that extra fourth thunder, they're still going to make that dex save.
It's non-negotiable.
It's the chance lance, baby.
All right.
Yeah, that's pretty cool.
I'll take it.
Rick, where did you get it?
God, how scary.
Going to throw it out of dragons.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Non-negotiable.
All right.
The Beholder Zombie is dead.
And we're back into the dungeon, everybody.
Any final movements you guys want to make?
Yeah, I want to move over here.
You do that.
We're moving through the dungeon.
Ooh, what a tough fight.
But congratulations on succeeding.
Recovering the chance lance.
You three continue moving through the dungeon.
Yeah.
What's the healing like in this?
Yeah.
Do you want to stop?
Do you want to heal?
Yes.
Do you want to heal?
Yes.
I will allow you to.
So what you can do at any point, you can stop and take a deep breath.
And I'll let you do it like once, even in between battle.
And you can recover your constitution modifier.
You can recover your constitution modifier and HP.
If you have a medical kit or a healing potion or anything else or magic, they can heal.
That's a whole other system.
But once in between, you can just take a deep breath and recover your constitution.
Would that be forward for me?
You have a plus four to con.
Yes.
And yes, yes, indeed.
Yep.
Then I would like to take a quote, deep breath.
All right.
You can't do that.
You guys just hanging out in the corner of this dungeon.
Each of you just talking, healing, resting for a sec.
Yeah.
Fuck.
I was like, what role plays.
Sucks.
Happening right now.
Yeah.
This like putting sewer rats across like this really gross sketchy lake of poo.
Yeah.
Well, good.
All right.
You guys all healed up a little bit.
I never lost health.
Nice.
Okay.
We're continuing on.
Maybe Reverend Rash should take the front now.
I'm going to sprint into the darkness.
No, God damn it.
Not running.
I'm going to sprint.
There's another door and then.
You can see that this hallway leads to as you get to the very end of it.
You can see that there's like a ladder that leads all the way up to what seems to be an,
a different exit to this year.
A different exit.
Yeah.
Hmm.
I don't want to exit.
What is that?
I see something.
It's the door.
It's a door.
Reverend Rash.
It's a door.
Is it cracked open?
I think so.
Yeah.
No.
Wait.
No.
Cause we would be able to see inside if it was.
I think the overlay is just messed up.
Oh, the overlay is messed up.
I see something.
I'd like to open this door.
Hell yeah.
Click on it.
There you go.
My friend is what you see.
Let me pull this up here.
There we go.
Hold on now.
The stairway.
Stairway to hell.
As you step down.
Yes.
Into this.
Oh wow.
It's kind of like a slight incline of stairs.
As you walk past, you can see in a small little outcove, there seems to be a set of armor.
It's very nice and very kind of ornate.
And it also has that symbol that you've seen a few times on the chest of the armor.
But the armor is just like on a rack.
But you continue moving forward and you can hear forward like shouts and like clanging
of metal.
Like almost what you would hear at like an arena of some kind.
Cool.
I'm heading towards the clanging.
I would like to wait behind the armor and just kind of like hide behind it.
All right.
You don't touch it, do you?
No.
As you get all the way down there, Raz, you can see a huge fighting pit.
It's a total full on gladiatorial arena.
You can see it's magically lit and huge and circular.
It's got a 40 foot high dome ceiling.
You can see 10 foot high stone bleachers all along the outside with what seemed to be like
10 bug bears and like eight skeletons sitting all along.
And there's goblins walking around handing them little pictures of ale and like tiny
little smoked rats that they're eating and cheering on.
Those two people in the center of this arena are fighting away.
You can see at the very front of the arena, there looks to be a nice little fancy looking
like kind of step up area, like a little stage where there's a giant floating fleshy blue
and yellow thing with eyes poking out all over it.
And next to its sides are two different fully clad and armored dwarves that are there almost
as if bodyguards as this thing is just cheering on as everyone else is cheering on.
In the center of the arena, there's a small, cute little halfling and she's spinning around
and jumping all over the place.
And she's dancing around a large minotaur with a huge axe that keeps swinging his axe
around and she's like dancing around and jumping all around it.
As you look down Raz for a second, she looks familiar to you.
Roll me a wisdom save since you're the first one in this arena.
All right.
Wisdom.
Bang.
That's an eight.
Yeah, maybe you don't know who that is.
It's a cute little halfling.
She's jumping around and dancing all over the place.
And as she is, she's like stabbing this minotaur on the legs.
But then he brings down his axe and one wrong motion and just chops her right across her
arm and cuts like half of her arm off.
And she like hits the ground and she starts screaming.
She looks up and sees you standing there, the only other non creature in this whole area.
And she goes, help, help.
I don't I don't want to die for nothing.
Help.
And then that's where we're going to leave it when we take our short little break.
Yeah, cool.
So we're going to do so let's go ahead and do some nail poses.
Shall we?
Look at you guys.
All you guys do is a quick little pose.
We only got a couple more of these left or a dang old season.
Don't you guys do something you think maybe we don't have yet, maybe something you think
we should have, you know, something like that.
That's pretty good.
Nice, buddy.
Nice.
All right, everybody, we will be right back in just a couple of minutes.
We're going to take our short little break here and then we're going to come right back
and see what the fuck's going on with this underground inside of a dungeon fighting ring
that's happening right in front of our heroes.
We'll be right back in a few minutes.
See what happens.
Don't go anywhere.
Hello, everybody.
Welcome back to Love, Death and Dice.
This is episode 10 of LDND and our three heroes find themselves trapped inside of an underground
under sewer at dungeon area.
They're on the search for a nimble right that had been kidnapped and captured.
Now our heroes find themselves approaching what seems to be an underground fighting ring
amongst creatures and in the ring is a young, nimble halfling fighting a Minotaur.
Raz approaches first.
Raz, cheers, man.
Welcome back.
Cheers.
What do you do?
Well, I'm going to take my chance, Lance, and I'm going to throw it into the middle of
the ring.
Well, it has to hit a target at the at the little little halfling.
OK, all right.
A target, a halfling.
It's fucked up.
But first, this is a dexterity roll.
You're doing a long range attack.
You got a roll to hit.
Got to beat a 15.
I would also like to activate Dark Pact.
Do you think it's going to work for a melee attack?
I think Dark Pact is only for magic.
No, no, no.
It says sacrifice HP to add to any roll.
All right.
So I'm going to I'm going to do five.
All right.
Really?
Five HP.
All right.
Like a foam finger, even a basket of chicken fingers.
Thanks, Dan.
Also, what's up, dude?
Thanks for joining us.
Hello.
I clicked it.
There we go.
There it goes.
Oh, 17 plus five.
So it's twenty three.
So your chance, Lance, you throw it is spirals and you can see the lightning and wind coming
out of it as it spirals.
You throw it like a football and it hits right into the chest of this young little halfling.
I first need you to do me damage.
This is a D six and a D four lightning damage.
Is it also not an ultimate?
No, because I think that's magic.
Yeah.
Congrats on killing her.
You say a D six and a D four.
Yeah.
That's a one.
Sweet.
And a one.
Nice to.
Do you have any bonuses to magic?
I don't know if you do.
Let me see.
I have plus two to weapons.
No, no, not tools and weapons.
No, I have plus one to basic.
All right.
That means.
So you throw it.
You deal two damage.
Now she has to succeed on a dexterity check of 15 or you switch places with her.
She's got plus one to dex for sure.
So let's see here.
Rolling a natural 20.
Nope.
We got a four plus one.
That's a five.
So in a flash, you throw the chance lance.
It sticks in her chest and then you switch places with her.
And when you switch places with her, you're holding the chance lance again, because whenever
they fail, the chance lance automatically appears back in your hand.
And you land in the arena and you immediately hear a voice take over your mind as you hear
some things, saying some things to you.
But before I explain what that is, because these guys can't hear it, what do you two
do?
Why is this still here?
Can we whisper yell to the lady?
Yeah, could we somehow drag her away where she's not noticed?
If that's what you want to do.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
What do you say?
We drive her to where we are unnoticed.
Gift an item.
Razz is going to get an item.
While you guys are thinking on that, let's go ahead and roll for this item.
First.
D6.
Oops, that's a D8.
Ignore that.
We should stick her in a suit of Iron Man.
That's what I'm taking.
That's a two.
I do not trust anything with that symbol on it.
You get bizarre loot.
You get a cozy hat.
Plus two defense.
This fluffy fur hat is so warm and cozy, you can be immune to cold.
Plus two to defense from a warm, cozy hat.
I love the bizarre.
Yeah.
All right.
We do want to whisper yell to her.
They're like, Hey, hey, hey, get back here.
She's like bleeding a hole in her chest, her arms all cut.
She's like, what?
And she like stumbles over.
Yeah.
Are you in trouble?
I know I was fighting to try to get an audience with Xanathar.
I believe he has something of mine.
We just fucked that up.
Never mind.
Razz.
All right, Tess, she's yours.
I can't help it.
She's got a damn little distress.
If you want to get an audience with Xanathar, you have to you have to win in his fighting
arena or I don't know.
It's the only way I thought.
But as soon as you see her, 2357, you think you might know her.
Tell me a wisdom and just don't get a nine.
I'm gonna make it an easy roll for you.
Just beat a 12.
It's the cozy hat.
The cozy hat has brought the luck upon us all.
Hell yeah.
Cheers to the natty 20 everybody.
You know her.
Her name is Samara Strongbones.
She is a brand new recruit and initiate to the Legion.
You with this natural 20 immediately suspect that she's trying to do something down here
with the creatures to try to up her standing with the Legion faction.
You don't know how she got down here, but you know, she's doing something with him to
try to impress them.
She's one of the newer assassins.
And I've joined it.
What are you trying to get that Xanathar about?
She's like, well, I know that she's like bleeding out.
She's like, I know that I don't know.
There's something about some, some rock, some like glorious rock everyone's trying to find.
And I thought that maybe if I could get information first, that maybe, you know, my superiors would
just, they would love me for it.
And so I'm here.
Xanathar is not in possession of the rock.
How do you know that?
Because I was set by the king.
The king was last in possession of the Scylla of the Lord.
Okay.
That's cool then.
I'm not working with the king.
If you're working with the king, then I don't think I'm allowed to talk to you.
I work for the Legion.
Oh.
Then why are you working for the king?
I was not.
He had information on the stone of Gabor.
I follow all leads I am presented with.
Okay.
Well, if you're with the Legion, I, I got my new tattoo and you look and it's a tiny
little snake with no wings on it.
She's like brand new.
She's like, well, baby snake.
Like you want to help or whatever.
I can help you.
Or I don't know.
I think, I think I'm out of my league.
I should probably leave.
You should.
There is an exit past us.
Okay.
What was your name?
You won't forget this.
Thank you for saving me.
IMT-357.
Under the tutelage of Kith.
Oh, okay.
I don't know.
I don't know who that is yet, but I thank you.
I'm gonna, I'll tell them.
You might want to learn your superior's names, tiny assassin.
Probably.
And she stumbles away.
Yeah.
The Redman Rez.
Yeah.
Well, you guys, you stay there.
All right.
I am moving.
You're moving.
Okay.
Both of you take your headphones off.
Yeah, you can't, you can't because you can't hear this.
Yeah, you can't hear this.
Am I not allowed to move forward?
I'm not allowed to move forward.
I didn't say I was staying there.
Yeah, you absolutely can.
Yeah.
Oh, I don't want to turn assassin.
You got it.
Proc.
Not necessarily the stick is right behind test.
Okay.
I'll do it.
As you stand in the middle of the area, you put on your cozy hat and wield your chance
lance.
A voice comes into your heads and you can tell it's into everyone's heads.
You all look forward to see this creature standing at the front.
This thing.
And in your minds, you hear.
Who is this?
Stepping into my arena.
Unnoticed to me.
This thing on.
If you're talking to me, I am known only as Reverend Ras.
I am the bringer of death.
As a postul sent to send the black clouds and plagues among your lands.
I will.
To free you all because I'm coming brother and there ain't no stopping me.
I got you for three minutes.
Three minutes.
Can it?
Can it like kind of come off as like I'm like the next challenger for the arena?
But like I'm trying to be serious about it.
But yes, only the bringer of deaths wear cozy hats.
Indeed.
Well, Reverend Ras Sanders, you will fight my champion, my champion Minotaur in the ring.
If you win, you win an audience with me.
Entertain.
Cool.
Everybody roll me initiative.
Oh, I wasn't going to go first.
OK, everybody.
No, no, no.
But you yeah, you you could go first and then we're going to see who goes after you.
Oh, damn it.
That was a six.
That was a seven.
Turkey got a one.
Bomblin got a 20.
Jesus Christ.
OK, well, so you're first right after Ras Bomblin.
What do you do, Ras?
Well, you know, I wanted to just.
Dan, Dan, Dan, just do a cheers and I'll do it for you.
Just do a cheers.
I'll do it for you.
All right, but what are you going to do, Ras?
Yeah, fuck it.
I'm just going to I'm just going to do Death Nova.
I'm going to run up to the to the Minotaur and hug him with Death Nova.
Nice, nice.
So with no rule, she overlaid her power and explode, sacrifice any amount of HP to add
to to D12 damage all within fall over all within far range role defense to avoid.
Yeah.
OK, but first.
Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, you'll pay for a seat, but you'll only need the edge.
There you go, Dan.
Cheers, buddy.
Nice.
OK.
You were up to him and gripping and he's like, what are you doing?
Go ahead and roll me your power and I'm going to have to roll defense for all of these fuckers
and our two friends are also going to have to roll defense.
We got three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen defense
roles.
I'm going to separate this first seven.
OK, and then six.
All right, let's see.
One, two, three, four.
Four succeeds, five succeeds, six succeeds, seven succeeds.
That's it.
I'm going to move these four back here.
These are the four that succeed.
One else takes the damage.
Eleven damage.
I'm only going to tell you got a plus ten to defense, bro.
What the fuck?
It's all the defenses, bro.
That's crazy, dude.
I got like crab barb and floating green gem of like defense and like armor.
Fuck with me.
You go to three, five, seven defense role.
Got a 15.
You meet it.
All right, so do they take half as much damage if they meet it?
Raz?
It doesn't say.
I think if they if they meet it, it's just to completely avoid it.
OK, so all of these fuckers are smart enough to just duck around this little wall here.
Yeah, you all are smart.
You've been through it.
All right, roll me your damage, Raz.
I already did.
It's 11.
Eleven damage.
OK, what else does this guy have?
OK, so you don't kill him, but you definitely kill all of these guys.
These guys are dead.
All of the skellies I killed.
Yeah, and the bug bears, all of them except for these back four on the wall here.
You didn't kill them, but you do do the 11 damage to him.
Yeah, he said do do.
Do do.
Which leaves him at.
Oh, wait.
Oh, were we not supposed to?
Yeah, it says with no rule.
Oh, wait.
You don't roll.
You don't roll magic.
Right.
Any spell cather lantern falling this cast.
This is critical.
Yes.
OK, so I'd have to do spell Nova before I do death Nova to do critical damage with death
Nova.
Yes.
OK, I got to prepare my bomb before I exploded.
Got it.
All right, Bomblin, what do?
Yeah, from the shadows, you said there's only four bug bears left.
There's two bug bears and two skeletons.
Two bug bears, two skeletons.
I'm going to cast life.
It's an intellect spell.
You bring objects or dead things to life like animated state, but it only lasts 24 rounds.
The nature of these puppets is a mystery and can be very volatile.
All right.
All the magic, baby.
Do it.
That's a four.
Oh, sorry, my friend.
We tried to bring them back to life.
It's almost like I've been able to do anything tonight.
Whenever you try to bring these things back to life as you reach for them and you realize
they've all been turned into like paste from the death Nova.
So you're like, I can't bring paste back to life.
And so that's why you're mad.
Yeah.
Well, let me just kind of stay here to pass time.
OK, T357.
Sure go.
What do you do?
So have I been noticed at all if I stand in this corner here?
No, I don't think so.
So in that case, can I use my assassination ability and my poison blade of return and
throw it directly at Xanathar?
I wouldn't do that, but if you want to, yes.
How many hearts does he have?
How many hearts like, well, that's what if you're sure.
Could I go for one of his guards instead?
If you want to.
Suspicious, this Minotaur here in the center still has 19 health.
Am I allowed to interfere in their fight?
Yeah, absolutely.
Especially if nobody sees it.
Yeah.
Fair.
Well, in that case, I'll go for the Minotaur with the poison blade of return.
OK.
Hell yeah.
Now you can't miss because he ends danger.
Go ahead, roll me damage.
Let's go.
All right.
So that is weapons.
Nice.
Eight.
Perfect.
Hell yeah.
And so since it's poison next round, he takes that eight damage again.
Yes.
Hell yeah.
You throw your blade from the shadows and it hits him right in the chest.
And then you hear a voice in your head like, where did that come from?
The fuzzy hat fighter of all death of darkness.
You have friends?
I do not.
No, I am all powerful.
I didn't even I don't know what you're talking about either.
So your friends may step into the ring and if they amuse me, I will allow them to take
the audience with you when you win or lose.
I prefer if they stayed out of the ring, your tentacle enos.
Good, good, good.
All right.
Now it's the Minotaur's turn.
Of course, he swings his axe wide right at you, Raz.
And you have a plus two to defense now because of that fucking fuzzy hat.
Yeah.
Oh, I have a plus two.
How do I add that?
You just add it into your defense.
Who did this?
Go to character, right?
And then we're going to unlock it at the top, right?
And then your defense is 13.
So that means you get to up it to 15.
I mean, whenever you add it in.
Whoops, I rolled your defense by accident.
Whenever we.
Everybody quit rolling dice.
What the fuck's happening?
Wait, are you guys clicking on me?
What's happening?
He just keeps clicking on his defense roll.
So it's just rolling defense rolls over and over again.
Oh, sorry.
What we're going to do.
It's OK.
We're going to add it in as an item.
And when we do, it'll actually add it to your defense.
Like that.
Yeah.
OK, I've added it.
Yay.
All right.
There you go.
So we're going to go back past all your defense rolls here.
I got a 13.
So when he swings his axe, he actually has hold on.
He's got a plus three to strength, so he's going to hit you.
You're going to deal his weapons.
Wait, am I?
Am I not rolling defense?
No, it's just like he attacks versus your defense.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Unless I say roll for defense, which is a totally other thing.
Yeah.
But he swings.
He's got a he does six damage to you.
God damn it.
I don't know what that sound was playing, but yes.
Six damage, Raz.
What does that put you at?
You had five that puts you down to four.
Yeah.
I'm at four points of health right now.
All right.
And it's your turn.
What do you do?
All right.
Well, I'm going to do something that I've only known in the ring will help you out in
dire situations.
The old dick twist.
I'm going to grab the Minotaur by the dick and activate soul siphon.
Nice.
Hell yeah.
Dick twist.
Roll me your magic.
Let's go.
The old dick twist.
Let's go, baby.
Come on.
It rolled onto a 13 and then went back to a one.
Fucked.
I want to use my fucking couch coin.
This is bullshit.
All right.
Get it.
OK, nine plus three is 12.
Guess you should use two hands.
It is a Minotaur after all.
God damn it.
That's right.
OK.
You fail on this role.
Will you please just make me an intelligence check for me?
You will be good.
Yeah, that's a nine.
OK.
Now, if you will, will you also just roll me your damage like as if you would have done
soul siphon with the critical because you would have beat the 15.
Go ahead and just roll that for me to your damage like as if you actually did.
Seven.
So what happens when you grab his genitals and twist?
It's a big old Minotaur dong, first of all, but you pull a black mist out of his cock.
Oh, wow.
And you pull it out into the arena and it takes away his life essence, leaving him with
that damage, but now there is a another creature that has seven.
Oh, yeah, you just jumped off and something something.
What the fuck?
It's not an angel, but I just grabbed a random token.
It's a comment or talent.
Oh, not the comment or not again.
Oh, no.
Come in.
I fucking hate it here.
Why?
It's a literal image of my head.
Pulling spirit out of many dark rock.
All right. Now it's your turn.
Test, what do you do?
So I'm guessing that means I can't do the same damage that I did last turn then.
Oh, you absolutely can.
And you absolutely do.
It feels the poison and dies as it gets jerked off.
And then the poison seeps into its blood and it's like, what a weird life.
And it drops its axe to the ground.
But now floating around him is this ghostly Minotaur figure.
But that also meant or that I can do more of Uzi.
But that also means I can use my bladestorm if attack and attack kills
target make another attack instantly.
I think that's if it's an active attack, not like a passive poison thing.
Yeah, yeah.
But if you throw you deal seven damage to the comment or
then you could absolutely deal attack something else.
Yes.
Yeah, yeah.
Hey, sure.
Let's do it again.
Let's let's do the poison blade towards the comment or.
Nineteen.
Oh, yes.
Yes.
Romeo damage.
All right.
Finally, a turnaround.
Finally.
Finally, I'll reach around.
I mean, turn around.
What a way to go.
Oh, three damage to the comment or
it hits the comment or dealing three damage.
It will take another three next turn.
I just love these guys.
Best death ever.
Wacked off to death.
What a way to go.
At least it was a happy ending.
Can I point to somebody over that not not necessarily Xanathar,
but like some one of the guys standing next to me like you're next.
He's like, Oh, look, man, I don't want you to do that to me.
You leave me dwarf cock to me.
OK.
Oh, you're next.
Oh, shit.
OK, Bomblin.
Sure go, man.
We've got to come in tour.
That's it.
Yeah.
I mean, I think Reverend Razz, OK.
The problem is, is that I won't stay hidden if I attack.
Through.
I think I'm just going to stay hidden.
I'm not in a position to really fuck around at the moment.
OK.
And the comment or moves forward
and tries to do soul siphon on Razz.
Why?
Why do the souls hate?
He aims right for your cock.
You got a 17.
Oh, no.
The comment is now jerking you off.
Seven damage Razz.
Well, I only had four left.
Razz goes down.
The first downing.
We must check the rules.
The rules must be checked.
Oh, oh.
Mm hmm.
Guys, I think I'm dead.
As you die, when you reach zero HP.
You'll eventually find yourself at zero.
At that instant, your character drops unconscious.
All spells or effects that you were casting vanish
and you're bleeding out fast.
The clock is ticking on your life.
You must now roll on dying on your next turn.
After you drop to zero, you roll one D four and play that you roll high
because in that many rounds without help or a miracle,
your character will die with a capital D on each of your turns.
While you're dying, you get a very narrow chance to miraculously regain consciousness.
You can roll a D 20.
And if it's a nat 20 by some miracle, you're brought back to life with one HP.
If all your dying rounds pass, no one helps you and you can't get a miracle.
You're dead.
One last thing, if you take negative 20 HP, you're blown to bits no matter what.
Don't die on me, man.
If you are unconscious and bleeding out
and you need help, an ally can reach you and make a successful role
with intelligence or wisdom on the target.
And your dying timer stops in its tracks.
You're stable, but unconscious.
And you owe that ally your life.
Then you need healing to be brought back to one HP.
So someone can reach you and stop your dying time.
Is he going to have an out of body experience with his God
and him and his God can make that?
One second. God, I was explaining the rules.
I was fucking. Are you the dungeon master?
Fucking wow.
No, this is me watching his unconscious body,
hoping he'll get out of his gluttony state.
Yeah.
First off, you fall to zero as you're falling to the ground, Raz.
You hear Xanathar and he says,
another one falls to my champion.
And like,
and everything goes black.
And you hear thunder.
Somebody's using my weapon.
And then in your mind, somebody's using your weapon.
Yeah, my chance lands.
Oh, yeah, because of the thunder.
The thunder is actually from your God. Oh.
And then your vision.
You see in front of you.
Blood and fire.
His Ned Braith appears and he looks at you and he goes,
Well, well, well, Raz.
Seems it's you died too early.
Do we think we've learned our lesson yet?
I'm not sure what you were trying to teach me, sir.
If you're going to try to overthrow me,
you're going to try to create something of your own.
If you're going to try to become me, the God of Death,
you better think again,
using the spirits for your own gain and willpower.
I know what you've been doing.
And I will not stand for this.
I'm sad.
I'm not trying to overthrow you.
I'm not trying to overtake you, Lord.
I love you.
I would never do that.
I only kill in your name.
Weirdly enough, Raz, roll me a charisma save,
not a deception, but just straight up charisma
just to see if he believes you.
Fucking hell.
He is like,
look, I've seen how powerful you've grown.
You're using all these different things and killing.
You just must promise me, Raz.
No more of this.
No more taking in these entities and using them to power your own willpower.
I seen what you did in front of the Church of the Hand.
That spirit went right inside of you.
Is it still there?
I think I thought that was you, Lord.
I didn't do that.
These spirits are worshiping you, Raz, not me.
They need to come to me.
If I encounter one of them again, is there any way I can get them to you, Lord?
Yes.
How?
I don't know.
They should just be coming straight to me, Raz.
Why are they not doing that?
I don't know, Lord.
I am just your simple follower.
Why do you hate me?
I don't hate you, Raz.
You are being disciplined as one of my children.
You are grounded, but I still love my children.
There is no hate in death.
There is no hate in death, Raz, for we are all nothing.
Right.
Yes.
You have already forgotten my teachings, young child.
I am sorry, my Lord.
Next time you see one of these creatures, you must push them to the afterlife.
Maybe instead of sucking in their essence, try and convince them to go.
I don't know.
Yes, my Lord, I will do so if I encounter these creatures again.
OK, now you have more business to attend to.
You're not dead yet.
And then he's gone.
I just like a purgatory or?
We have just been raided.
I wonder who it's from.
It's from Forge and Lore.
Hi, Forge.
Hello, name is Steve.
My God.
Cheers, buddy.
Thank you for joining us.
How the hell was your long rest?
How did it go?
That actually looked like some chill ass shit happening over there.
You guys make sure to go over there and follow Forge.
Cheers, man.
Thank you for joining us.
Hmm.
That's a fun helio, dude.
We're in the middle of a battle and Raz just went down.
Death.
I'm going to die.
So as he sends you back, you're going to get a plus one to your death timer.
Raz from Ned Braith, the god of death.
So I need you to roll me a D4 plus one.
That's how many rounds you have before you're gone.
24 plus one is a two.
Two.
Two turns.
And on that third turn, you're dead.
All right.
OK.
Now we move back to T357.
It's your go.
What do you do?
Well, I imagine I can't walk all the way over to all the way over to Raz and do a thing.
You can.
You totally can.
It's not that far.
Yeah, it's not that far.
Yeah.
The commenter is still there.
But the commenter will take four damage.
All right.
Go ahead.
Yeah, he also is taking more damage from me.
But I would like to use one of my water of slash oils of life on Raz.
Bitch, I forgot you had that couch coin to you, Proteus, for remembering your items.
Badass.
Return to life in one D for rounds later with an additional two hearts.
Oh, shit.
Oh, it.
An additional.
Is it two hearts?
I thought it was one.
Is it two hearts?
It says two additional hearts.
Fuck.
Wait, did keep?
I think they're temporary.
They're temporary.
So it's like temporary HP.
Yeah.
It's like you should have off Reverend Raz a long time ago.
That was a thing.
The fuck?
But it's a way it's one D for rounds.
So you could use the item on him or you can stabilize him.
If you roll less than two, he could die completely gone before it even activates.
So you could stabilize him, then do it next round.
But he has to be stabilized so he doesn't fucking.
You know what I'm saying?
Fair enough.
I would like to stabilize him then.
OK.
Unless you can rely on Bomblin to stabilize him.
But who knows?
I mean, it's.
You stabilize Reverend Raz.
Leave the commenter to me.
I got sucked too hard.
Don't worry, I'll go and suck him up.
I mean, fuck him up for you.
OK, so you can do wisdom or intelligence.
You just got to beat a 15 and you'll stabilize Raz.
We're letting T357 make this roll.
Fucking three, everybody.
Everybody, it's a three.
I took the risk.
You took the risk.
We roll.
OK, thanks, Steve.
You might have just saved Raz's life.
Nope, it's a four.
Three.
Wait, wait.
Certifiable is giving advantage.
Roll it one more time.
You could take the higher roll.
It's the same roll.
Hit it again.
I'm making a DM decision.
Does that Reverend Raz die?
Yeah.
OK, that's a 15.
Thank you, certifiable.
Thank you, for the roll.
Just let me die.
I'm going to need you to shave up.
Fuck.
Dude, that's funny.
I'm going to need you to shave up.
Fuck.
Dude, that's funny, dude.
OK, you are now stabilized on the floor.
And after you stabilize them, you hear a voice in your mind coming from Xanathar.
And he's like, you do have friends.
They enter the fray.
Commentor, attack.
What is Bomlin's turn first?
Bomlin?
Ah, it's my turn.
Yes.
I'm going to I'm going to drink one of my single use items.
I haven't been saving this one, but now is a good time to use it.
I'm going to drink my dragon's blood.
Ooh.
I grow wings and can breathe fire for one D for rounds.
What the fuck?
Yeah.
Bad ass.
There in my ass.
Bad ass.
Inventory.
Hell yeah, dude.
Rose is like, I got items.
Bom's like, wait, I got items too.
One round.
I got one round.
But that should be all I need is I sprawl wings to our fly.
And they're just like spewing fire.
And I want to I want to spew fire on the commentor.
All right.
You want to spew on the commentor?
Sounds good.
Yeah, I want to spew on the commentor.
All right.
Does it give us any kind of anything about fire damage at all?
Just says you can breathe fire.
OK.
I'm wondering that's going to be an attack roll.
I don't think it's going to be a magic roll.
I think that's just an attack roll.
I think it's just a ranged attack roll because you're a dragon.
So why don't you go ahead and roll me decks?
That's a 10.
Fuck yeah.
Fuck yeah, it is, dude.
Why don't you go ahead and hit me with a D10?
All right.
Also, since it's fire damage and with the elemental eye, the metallic eye
implanted in my military hand, fire damage is doubled.
It is.
Oh, yeah, baby.
Yeah.
That's 12 fire damage to the commentor.
Right.
Fly in three.
You did it.
You fire everywhere.
And Xanathar is like, oh, there's also a dragon bear along with the robot
and the fuzzy hat wearing King of Death.
What a party we have here.
Ah.
OK, the commentor dies.
You land on the ground with your wings.
You three now standing in front of Xanathar.
T357, you give the potion of life to Raz.
Go ahead and roll me one D4.
Raz comes back to life in that many rounds with two extra hearts.
That would be two rounds.
Can I have two extra hearts than I normally have?
Yes.
So you'll be at 35 health.
You're telling me I'm at 35 fucking health?
Yeah, but the extra 20 is only temporary.
The extra 20 is only temporary.
Yes.
Well, if that's the case.
You're telling me you're telling me that I have 35 health.
Yes.
OK.
When you come back to life in two rounds, round number one, Xanathar
looks across the field at you three.
All the skeletons and bug bears that you had all previously killed
slowly come back to life and like get up on the seats as if they were
trying to do.
They all slowly come back and sit down and then they all start clapping.
Yeah, that was bad ass, dude.
No, dude, he took off that Minotaur to death, dude.
I know, dude, that was sick, dude.
Oh, that bear dragon came in.
You see that robot, dude, bring you back to life.
Say.
And then Xanathar looks at you when he goes, it seems you have
appeased my crowd, and I dare say that was fairly entertaining.
So on this day, you three have gained an audience with me.
I will answer any questions you may have.
Bring to light anything you wish to know about me or my Leo.
Of course, my faction of creatures.
Now I will be in my audience room, which is down the hall to the west.
You may meet me there.
My doorman will let you in.
Feel free to use the bathroom and clean yourselves up.
Before you get to my audience room and I will be there awaiting you.
Then in a flash, she's like, just disappears like, damn it.
Yeah.
Round number two.
We're going to say that you go ahead and come back to life, Raz.
And all the people are slowly starting to leave this this area.
Some of them are just like cleaning up and still like eating and stuff.
You can see the two dwarves heading towards the west to the audience room.
You guys have appeased the man.
There's still a dead minute to our body here in the center.
What do you guys do?
I'm going to put some coins on that minute to our body.
Nice.
Gives you a plus one to your next magic roll.
And see if I can word this right.
You see how this minute tour was a champion.
Yeah.
Like his best champion.
Can I what weapon was he using?
Roll me a wisdom, baby.
Search his body.
Well.
Oh, well, his weapon looks fairly normal to you.
It does. It does. Yes.
Do I still have my extra health?
I need to do this now.
Can I can I with him first?
Yeah, sure. I guess.
Why? You got a P or what?
What's up, dude? No, no, no.
Well, I got to I got to use my extra health if I want to make this work.
Yeah. Yeah.
Well, you you keep that extra health until it's gone forever.
Like until you take damage, you have it.
It's not like temporary for one hour.
It's like you have it until you lose it kind of thing.
Oh, yeah.
I'm at 35.
Yeah. Yeah.
Gotcha.
OK.
You're OK.
You don't really know what sort actually T357.
You wrote me a wisdom as well.
Both of you guys can search this body together.
Don't get a nine.
T357 likes to get nines.
OK, it's an 11, which isn't a success either.
OK, so you don't know what the weapon is, but on his body, you also do find a very shiny, beautiful necklace.
And you find a very nice ornate ring.
So the new rule.
Oh, you got to reroll. Hit it. Hit it.
Let's go.
Yes.
Hey, team success.
This is an axe of shadow.
When using this axe while in darkness, it does an additional one D10 damage.
It is an axe of shadow that he has.
He also has a necklace and a ring.
Now, the ring, when healing someone, you heal them for an additional one D10 healing.
It is a ring of healing.
Also, when you heal yourself.
So if you use any kind of healing like medkit or healing spell, it does an additional one D10 of healing.
And then the necklace itself is a necklace of the changeling,
which will allow you to change what your face looks like to a completely different race.
And as you take the necklace off of the Minotaur, you see was actually an orc, not a Minotaur that you were fighting all along.
That's cool.
Yeah, that is dope.
Makes me feel better about the dick grab.
You grabbed an orc's dick, not a Minotaur's dick. Hey, you know, slightly more humanoid.
Yeah. Oh, no, not good. Hold on.
Any of you like this stuff?
Seeing as how I just like, you know, fucking died.
I might like that healing ring.
Sounds like a plan.
All right. Sorry. I had to look at my book for a little while.
If you didn't know, my computer is fucked up and I had to pull my AIO out of my computer and put it on top of the case for water flow because the pump's going out.
I have a new one and I'll be working on it next week.
But just right now, it decided to fall over.
So I had to fix it.
But hopefully it doesn't affect anything. We should be fine.
OK, so who's taking the items? Who wants what?
I want the axe.
Nice. The axe of shadow.
I will take the necklace of changeling.
I guess that leaves the ring for me.
We're back at it again. We're just going to treat that like it was our break.
So here we are back again.
And I got to ask. So you took the ring.
You guys each got a lovely magical item.
Have you added it to your character sheets?
Yes. Oh, yeah.
Is there any sort of role that has to be added to the necklace?
No, no, no, no.
It's just like a necklace that does the thing.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, there's no role for that.
OK, so to your southeast,
there is a door that leads off further into this dungeony area.
As you three or your four standing here,
the other guys kind of like fuck off.
They're slowly emptying out and leaving and everything like that.
So at this point, feel free to move your tokens.
Let me know where you're moving, what we're doing.
You have this invitation from Xanathar to meet him in his audience hall,
but you don't have to directly go there.
So it's up to you guys what you want to do. I know.
News.
We're moving. We're moving.
Rez, how are you feeling?
I'm feeling I'm feeling really like. Good.
You know, you sound much less gloomy.
Well, I'm still I'm still in the doghouse with my God.
But, you know, I guess there's a way to fix it.
I need to stop stealing his.
Stop stealing his souls. I guess that's what was happening.
He was getting really mad that I was stealing his souls.
Could be.
Yeah, I mean, did any of that make any sense to you?
I guess we'll talk about it during short rest.
Did you not want to rest for a moment?
Why? I can't hear you.
There's a lot of stories over here where we can freshen up before the audience chamber.
Yeah.
You guys follow Bomblin as you're talking.
Do you two want to rest together first?
I am not going to need to know.
I'm good. You got way too many hearts.
What's going on here?
Here we go.
You got one and a half.
You had you self set at five hearts for some reason.
Oh, my God.
Raz is at three and a half, though. Yeah, that makes sense.
All right.
You guys migrate down words.
Let me see. Let me see. My windows reopened properly.
They did. Yay.
OK, good news, everyone. Good news, everyone.
We're back at it again with the white vans.
Time to continue on.
Bomblin, do you open this door?
Yes. All right, Bomblin.
You open the door, you step inside, and what you see is pillars carved with eyes.
And as you step inside, it looks like all of the eyes directly look directly at you.
And as you walk and move, they follow you.
Gross. Gross.
You can see to your right, as you stand there, seems to be a doorway.
And on that doorway, there's like a golden circular with like a circle with like a bunch of lines.
And there's words at the top that say audience chamber.
So you've already made it there.
But you can keep going down or to your right.
Yeah. Where is the bathrooms at?
There's like the freshening up chambers.
That's what he said. It was something like that.
A place to refresh it up.
Yeah.
In this chamber here, you find yourself in Bomblin. It looks like as if there's a bunch of char marks on the ground.
And there's some kind of teleportation circle.
And there are also stairs that lead once again up out of this dungeon.
Ah, fuck this.
All right.
If you want to, there are so many more things to explore, but it's up to you what you guys want to do.
Battle card.
Oh, baby.
You get a battle card to get to hold on to Bomblin.
Thanks, Isaiah. Cheers, buddy.
Dude, I found.
I'm drinking.
These are.
I feel like they're lucky charm pale ales.
Cheers.
All right, buddy, you get.
Child's play. You automatically succeed your next attempt.
Mm hmm.
I would like to open the door to the audience chamber.
You sure? OK, well, before you do that, I want to give Ranz an option to do whatever they want to do first.
Do you want to go in any other direction or do anything else?
Let's see.
We let's see.
I'm going to go ahead and just prepare.
Spell Nova.
OK.
Any spell cast on the turn following this cast explodes in a near radius area and is critical.
If your cast roll fails with this spell, you cannot use magic for one round.
I'm also going to be using dark pact and I'm going to sacrifice 10 of my HP.
To add to this so I can get it.
OK, you don't have to roll for spell Nova.
I think it just happens, but it takes up your your action.
You don't wait. If your cast roll fails with this spell.
Yeah, it's like your next the next spell you do so you can do it.
I don't have to roll it. No. Oh, that's broken. OK, well, yeah.
Yeah. OK. T357.
Anything you want to do is you want to go in any direction, explore it all or do anything.
Before we open the audience chamber.
I mean, Ranz, could you please take out your nimble right detector?
Oh, yeah, sure. That was the reason we came down here.
Son of a bitch. I'm so proud of you, test.
Proud of you out here killing it in D&D. You begin to be in the player.
Why don't you go ahead and get another couch coin for me, please? Thank you.
I'm impressed.
You poured out.
Nice. It's like.
Do you move anywhere else?
Yeah, let's let's go like down here and see what happens.
Couch coin.
Fuck yeah, story dad. Cheers, bro. Thank you.
Cheers.
OK, it slightly moves.
It continues moving.
I would like you to roll me a wisdom to see if you can tell the difference in the speeds,
because you haven't moved very far. OK.
I know you can't tell the difference.
You can't tell the difference.
Boblin, you're standing right next to a monster going ahead. You roll it for me.
So we do. Yeah.
Nice. You can tell.
Yeah, that's why.
It's moving slightly faster, like.
Oh, let's move down here.
All right, Boblin.
Since you made that roll, you can tell it's moving very slightly faster.
Oh, shit.
Keep moving.
Yeah, but as you approach, you can see up ahead
at the end of this hallway will look to be a bunch of fish creatures,
but it starts moving faster.
I got this, y'all.
Yeah.
Hold on. Wait.
Yeah.
Runs as soon as you say that.
I got this. Oh, it bounces.
I'm ready. Oh, shit.
What was that?
My voice meter just did a thing. Do I still sound normal?
Hello? Yeah, it's weird.
OK, what do you do, Raz?
Well, you run up as you do, they're like,
they're like these crazy looking fish creatures.
Let me see if I can show you what they look like.
Actually, hold on. Before you decimate them,
I want there's there are people here who appreciate fish.
OK, and so I want to show you what they look like. All right.
Oh, what's up before you decimate them?
Let me show you what they look like.
For two seconds.
Oh, like, oh, thanks.
What the hell?
That's the only bit of it.
I thank you for supporting the show on its chairs.
Mm hmm.
They look a little something like this, maybe.
I have no strategy.
I think, yes, they are adorable.
Only that they're alive and floppy.
There's two versions.
One of them seems to be a little bit more.
Battle hardened.
Oh, oh, daddy, that'll help him.
Hello. And they see you, they're like.
And as you run up on them,
I'm going to give you one surprise around.
What do you do?
I'm going to go. God is great.
And I'm going to do death Nova standing right where I am.
OK.
So the way the death Nova works is that you can't fail on death Nova.
So that means rain from above.
A hundred bits of counternation is right that.
Oh, prices right away from above.
What is coin fish people?
Thank you. Another world. Thank you. Contra Nate.
You guys shout out to country.
I say this every time, but Grouch couch wouldn't be here if it wasn't for Contra Nate.
So cheers to Contra Nate. Thanks, Contra Nate.
Thank you.
Nate. Right.
And it's an inspiration to us all.
I think of it a hundred bits story.
Dad, appreciate you, bro.
So mechanics and freaks, a part of the couch.
Yeah.
Thanks for supporting the show that you're part of the couch.
What the hell?
Proteus just gifted some.
Tugboat Liz, Scaloweezy, Bucket and Aloha.
Oh, nerds, geeks, aloha, like the sweet Hawaiian like sub channel.
Freaks apart of the couch.
You know, I have a whenever I see the words.
I cannot help myself.
Well, I appreciate you.
We're almost to a fucking level two now.
Thank you so much for supporting the show, proteus.
Hi, Mars. What's up, Duder?
And cheers to Nate. That's right.
You mentioned fish produce.
Start making it rain.
OK, that's how you guys support.
Thank you.
That's right, baby.
OK, so mechanics wise, let's talk about this for a second.
Raz, you did spell Nova, which means that your next spell will be critical.
But if you fail on that spell, you can't cast any spells.
But whenever you do death Nova, you do not have to make a roll.
So that means you cannot fail.
So all spell Nova does is give you an additional one D12 of damage to anyone that it affects.
The only thing here is where are you running to before you attack it or activate it?
Because that depends if they get to roll defense because it's long range or if they're nearby,
so they don't even get a chance.
So where are you running to?
Right where I am.
OK, just right there.
So then here's the kicker.
I'm also going to be sacrificing HP to add to my damage.
OK, thanks.
Oh, thank you for supporting the love.
Supporting the show wouldn't exist without ContraNate.
Thank you, man.
This man is an inspiration.
All of us youngins, he's out there teaching us shit and telling us what's what.
Tell you what, he inspired me.
He told me he was like, why don't you start streaming again?
Literally what he said to me when I was in college, literally.
And that's why we're here to this day.
That's it.
One sentence from a lovely man.
That's right.
So cheers, Nate.
Thank you so much for supporting the show that you helped create.
Yeah, this is your fault, Nate.
Thanks.
That's right.
Thanks, Bobby.
He's a very, very good, very inspirational man.
It's very good.
Anime Ray is Muggle.
Is he outsider?
Of course.
Is he a
movie and Clint Eastwood?
Nice.
Hopefully they join around.
OK, all the love, all the love.
But now Reverend Raz gets to kill some fish people.
So let's let them do it, shall we?
I'm only going to say these two up here get to make defense rolls.
They have to beat the 15.
Let me see.
That's one.
That's a seven.
They fail.
One more.
That is a one.
They fail.
They take a full three D12 damage.
Three D12 plus 10 plus 10.
OK, let's do it.
Nate with the LOL.
Hey, look, I know you're blushing, but I love you, buddy.
Thank you.
Thank you so much for an inspiration to us.
Well, that's 10.
Oh, man.
So 10, 12, 22.
Rolled fish eyes on that one.
Yeah.
Twenty two damage.
As you run out into this area, your nimble right detector starts spinning like crazy.
It's like and you run out and these fish people are like, they all look at you and then you
just explode.
You're like, for my God.
And all this blood just comes out of your whole body.
And I imagine like in strings, it like goes all around and like grabs them up and squeezes
them and then just explodes them.
And fish guts and bones go all over the walls everywhere.
And then it's quiet.
Cool.
I'm going to go around to all the skulls I can find and place coins on what I think are
eye sockets.
Nice.
Give you that plus four.
We got it.
Tom.
We know the guys in work right now.
Hopefully I can catch the end of stream when I get off work.
Good to see everyone.
Hell, yeah.
Frito.
Love you, buddy.
Whoever rolls next gets a plus one.
I'm the iron heads, baby.
As you approach this gate, Raz, you can see on the inside the nimble right and he strapped
down to a chair.
But this great in front of you is like a barred gate.
You look down, you see doesn't have any kind of locks or handles, but it's bars that he's
behind.
OK, I'm going to whip out my my moonstone.
Oh, no, shit.
OK.
All right.
OK.
These items are so cool, bro.
Sorry.
I'm just going to look at the table and fucking go.
Oh, and I can't do it.
Can you move me to the other side of the great?
I can.
But first, Nate said they're on a cruise to Hawaii.
I've never taken a long vacation.
It's odd.
Nice, dude.
That's actually fucking sick.
I hope you have a great time.
I think you're all doing a great job.
Just wanted to say hi.
Thanks.
That's your definition of long as well, because if you're like three day cruise, I'm like,
buddy, come on now to the cruise.
That's the best time to go.
We like winter time.
No one was going to cruise in winter time.
That's when you get the deals, dude.
That's when you go.
I mean, hell yeah.
OK, I'm going to move you in here as you use you activate your moonstone.
Watching allows Raz to teleport anywhere that Raz can see.
So through the bars, you see the nimble right and you teleport and you get inside and his
hands are tied down to this chair.
He just looks at you and you can see in his eyes.
He looks scared.
Half a month and nimble rights don't have the ability to speak, right?
No.
All right.
So as he lays there on the table, I'm just going to.
He's like.
He remembers you.
You could tell.
I'm going to ask him because I mean, it's not canon that I like no, no sign language,
but I'm going to ask him in normal tongue.
Where is it?
His hands are still tied down, so he just looks at you and nods.
Look with your eyes.
Show me with your eyes.
Where is it?
Where's what?
He doesn't say that.
He's like.
We know that you hold the key.
That is he is the key.
Oh, he is.
That's right.
He literally like interrogating the robot.
Tell me where it is.
And the teacher is like, it is him.
He is it.
Where is the key, asshole?
Like through the bars.
Tell me.
I'm like sprinkling sand in his ears and shit.
Oh my God, you're torturing him.
Yeah.
Sandboarding him.
He is it.
Holy shit.
That's funny.
Dry boarding this bitch.
Anyway.
Hi, Scott.
OK.
What do you do?
Untie him so we can take him out of here.
Oh, no.
This bitch is crafty.
I'm not letting him keep everything, you know, on him.
Can I can I begin to?
Oh, man, I want to see if you're OK with this.
But I basically want to.
I want to open a portal right at his midsection.
And see if I can cut him in half with a portal.
Why?
So he's immobile, so he can't run away when I untie him.
You don't trust this man that gave you gifts?
He helped you.
This is a good one.
This isn't the bad one that we killed.
Oh, this isn't the bad one?
Sorry, that all looked alike to me.
Oh my God, that's like the worst thing you could say.
Yeah, all these robots look the same, man.
Jesus, man, you can't say that.
That's because one's a toaster and the other one's a microwave.
I'm not going to be able to do it.
Oh my God, dude.
I did it.
I'm wearing a vise.
You racist faggot.
Sorry.
Anyways, I've been going through a lot of rough time.
All right.
God hates me.
I'm trying to make up for it.
Anyways, sorry about that, man.
We're cool, right?
Just untie him.
He can't respond because his hands are still tied down.
All right.
Well, I'm going to go ahead and untie him.
Sorry, buddy.
And he starts signing.
He's like, thank you so much for saving me.
What the fuck is wrong with you?
Why?
What?
I'm so confused.
Can you can we get out of here now?
Absolutely.
Nice.
In fact, any sort of entry into the jail cell?
Go ahead and roll me a perception.
E357.
What is a perception?
Wisdom.
Nerves, geeks and freaks.
A part of the couch.
Freedown!
Gifted a sub to.
Nerves, geeks and freaks.
A part of the couch.
Oh, the gray?
Yeah.
Randolph the gray and J Mars.
A part of the gray.
Randolph the gray and J Mars.
Well, thank you for gifting two subs, Frito.
Let me crack open a new drink for you, buddy.
Thanks, Frito.
I hope work's going well.
I hope things are all good.
Cheers, buddy.
The Mars said I'm going to wipe out my attention immediately goes to phone.
OK, you got a one so you don't find it.
Bomblin, roll me perception.
Sorry, E357.
No, that's a six.
We can make it an easy roll.
What?
Go ahead.
Like pry the bars open with my barely strength.
Yeah, you can try it.
Let me strength.
Let's go.
Before I leave peace.
3020 baby.
All right.
You pry open the bars.
And then we'll write that certifiable.
I have to remind you, I'm not a robot.
I'm a robot.
You got a moment.
I was trying to.
I was trying to remind myself of that to come back hard during combat.
Yeah, actually I think it's just any role, dude.
It's your next test.
Technically, it's called a battle card, but it's just motherfucker.
Oh that's not where where I would want to use that roll at.
Okay.
Let's just remember, I forgot about that.
Yet any your next wall, your test really need roll at all.
So let's just remember, remember the next role you make.
It's automatically an ad 20.
All right. All right. Starting now.
Don't let us forget.
Yeah. All right.
You pry open the bars and the nimble rights like, oh, OK.
All right. He like heads for the door.
He's like, let's get out of here.
Oops.
What do you guys do? You are.
How big is the nimble, right?
He's not very large.
He's kind of a small, skinny creature,
maybe weighs like 50 pounds and gears and metal.
Can he fit inside my cloak and hide?
Not very well, no.
I could cut him in half.
He was really well there.
Jesus Christ.
Now, could you hold off from committing like one hate crime?
Wait, you guys are confused on how to get out of here.
I might not like the walking.
Where is it?
Like you go?
We still got to go see the creatures overlord
and we just broke his prisoner out of prison.
You know, I know how to fix this actually.
Just saying, I got the nimble right.
That's what we came here for.
But I mean, like, why not come up on some other shit, guys?
Come on now.
What else are we going to have an audience with the leader of the creatures
with the possible that's what are you next seduction?
That's what are you next seduction roll?
I mean.
Persuade.
Yeah.
Y'all let me know what you want to do.
If you would like to talk to Xanathar, I can escort the nimble right out.
Or I mean, yeah, we could do that.
Robot to robot.
We can put him back in the safe place with my teleportation.
And keep him there, you know, how about, you know,
the fucking tower that he's locked in all the time?
Yes, but we know that's not a safe place.
What about the place Xanthar with all the Razz's dead bodies?
We could we could put him in my church.
That's what I yeah, the church, I guess.
I'm just well, yeah, we don't want to lose the key again is what I'm saying.
So you really want to lock it back in the tower where they stole it from in the first place?
No, no, you're right.
We should.
That's not ideal.
Can you open a portal to my cupboard on the third floor?
I think I've been around there.
You've woken me up several times.
Yeah, sorry.
So if you open a portal there, he can rest in my cupboard.
Are you guys cool with that?
We're all making this decision.
As long as the nimble right chills.
I mean, yes, that's true.
I just like that's.
Oh, are you amenable to this situation?
Nimble right.
Will you stay in the goddamn cupboard?
He signs back.
He's basically like, if you keep me safe, I'll go wherever you want.
I don't say don't take me back to the church of the hand.
There are a bunch of pussies.
All right. Well, you need to hide in the cupboard.
Then I'm going to open a portal to the magic plus four.
Plus four.
That's a dirty 20.
Well, actually, it's a 24, but.
What do you do?
17 plus three plus four is a 24.
Badass, badass.
You're like, you open this portal right in here and you just see this cupboard.
But inside of this cupboard, I feel like T357, you've made it a little bit of home.
What do we see inside of your cupboard?
As it opens into this personal space of yours.
There is a collection of tools for when I need to do repairs, as well as
scribbling and drawings of what I can remember of my life.
I was hoping there'd also be like a.
A fucking Hitachi one in there, too.
Look at that. Yeah.
I know.
Yeah, fucking.
There's this weird one.
I'm sorry, there's this weird wire that has this oddly shaped.
And I don't know how it would plug into anywhere.
We have just been.
Just been.
Grimwood.
Where it's from.
It's Grimwood Games.
Hi, guys.
Hello.
Welcome. Thank you so much for the rage, all.
How the heck was your stream?
How did it go?
Hey, person sits on the couch.
Thanks for the follow, friend.
Cheers.
Welcome here to the show.
We can't hear the notifications again.
Well, the computer did crash.
Let me fix that.
But welcome here to the Grouch couch tonight.
We're playing Love, Death and Days.
This is, of course, the full fantasy, lawful evil campaign that we're doing here.
It was great. Had player face some glowing cockroaches.
Oh, roll for it.
Nice. Nice.
I hate what I find.
Hey, so sort of.
Cheers for initiative.
Hey, it's on the couch.
It's hard for me to read.
Brim D's help me with this name.
I have dyslexia.
Here's friend. Welcome here.
Sell sword.
Mm hmm. Sell sword.
You got an eight sell sword. Try again.
It was great.
So we had in my players face a minotaur that got jerked off to death.
But roll for initiative.
A new person sits on the couch.
Here's for follow.
I died tonight.
You finish up with the players.
All right. You do your short rest, friend.
Oh, Brim. OK.
Sounds good to me. Sounds good to me.
Welcome, Brim. Thank you so much for the follow.
Um.
Where were we?
Welcome to the show.
We saw we appreciate all the inside of Tess's cupboard, her personal cupboard
that has this really weird wire in it that has an oddly shaped end to it.
It looks like it plugs into something important.
Not sure.
Not sure what it is.
The nimble right looks at you three and he he signs.
Thank you.
I'll wait here.
And he steps through the portal and turns around and just waves.
And then I started the only thing I know inside.
It locks from the inside so you can keep it safe.
He goes, OK, thank you.
You have a cupboard that locks from the inside.
Jesus Christ, Tess, what kind of trauma did you bring home with us?
I live with you.
I don't need you barging into my stuff. True.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, that's that's that's probably for the best.
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, you'd be really mad when you found out I sold all of her extra headlights.
All right. The nimble right has gone off, y'all.
All right.
Let's go meet this demon or something.
Yeah, it's like just the leader of the creatures faction.
Yeah.
OK, you three, feel free to move your tokens all the way back to the audience area.
And let me pull up my notes here.
We'll get into that.
Hey, yeah.
All right.
All right. Race is a.
All right. I'm here first.
I got here first.
That's fair.
That's fine. I'm not.
Mm hmm. OK.
The audience chamber,
you three knock on the door and the door opens, but as if magically,
the circle and the lines on the door light up in this purpley magic
and like little eyes come out of the doors like on these like extension poles
like and they look over you two as if scanning you, you three,
and then go back into the door and the doors
open. And when you guys step inside,
to me, you do rest.
I got here first.
You guys go ahead and step inside, move your tokens on in.
You step inside to the audience chamber.
You can't. You got to open the door first.
There you go. Go ahead.
Mm hmm.
As you step inside, you can hear the mystical voice of
the couch, Xanathar, explaining things to the people that are around
as you step inside and as you step inside, it's like a 40 foot domed chamber.
And as you guys get in there, they all welcome you.
You pass by what seems to be a drow,
but it looks like a drow wizard who looks and eyeballs you like ready to attack.
He's holding a very large staff with a huge crystal at the top of it.
And you walk past him and Xanathar's eye things kind of like
wave you over to stand directly in front of him, ready to appease his audience.
I have a question.
OK. Is there is there any kind of like decorative skylight
opening to the to the to the night sky? No, we are underground.
Oh, shit. We are in a sewer.
Yeah, we're underground.
So looking around, you can see in this audience as well standing next to the statues are du
regard, which are kind of like underdark dwarves.
They're very pale skinned.
They have long white hair, a lot of them holding weird looking magical items
as they stand there and salute as if they were just listening to Xanathar's speech.
And as you assume the position in front of him inside of this circle, he says to you three.
You have my attention.
Welcome to my audience chamber.
What may I do for you?
What did does anybody know what we want anymore?
I know what do you know of the Brass Dragon?
The Brass Dragon
have heard tales of a few, one that flies above in the sky,
one that harbors itself in the deep, and one seems to be trap.
Which ones do you have questions on?
We wish to know of the one that is trapped.
In the deep?
Yes.
The dragon seems to be trapped deep underwater.
I've been told by my seafaring creatures.
I went down there in the search of something shiny
and has been trapped there underwater for a long time.
Now how a dragon were to be breathing underwater for that long beats me.
But what I do know is it is a young dragon,
and its mother flies high in the sky, day and night searching for its underling,
for it fears the water.
But that's where its child resides.
What of the other trapped dragon?
From the tales, a man of royal stature, a man of high power,
I never remember, persuaded this dragon,
convinced it through ways of seduction, if you will,
to join him in his study before he trapped it,
somewhere hidden in the city.
And this dragon now forever remains to protect his golden riches.
What do you know of the location of that dragon?
I do not.
What I do know is that there seems to be some kind of magical ritual thing going around.
I am in search of it.
A rock, a stone.
If you bring it to me, if you know of it, any information,
you bring me this stone, I will grant you high power and royalty of the creatures faction.
For I, Xanathar, and my pet goldfish, will become king of common steel before too late.
What is your connection with the Black Network?
They work for me, doing my bidding.
You know, you can't send a goblin out in the streets to buy food.
That's where the Black Network comes in.
Yeah, I get it. I get it.
Aren't the goblins seeking sovereignty? Why would they need to worry about such things?
Some goblins are seeking sovereignty. These goblins are not of mine.
They're seeking their own independence. Shame on them. Shame on them!
How dare they seek independence?
They don't need independence when they have me, Xanathar!
Now, your dirty lordy one, how would one procure protection from the creatures to, you know, just kind of bypass them?
You know, do no harm and no harm does to you?
Well, my berry dragon friend, you are impressive.
You must join the creatures guild to be a part of us.
Not all creatures follow me, Xanathar, not yet, but soon.
You must join with us.
Now, if you could expedite the recruiting process for me so I could go to straight level one creature, that'd be great.
Well, the only way to join the creatures guild is to endure suffering, pain, and torture.
If you're willing to be strapped into a chair and chained up for weeks at a time while I tell sweet nothings into your ear
and the great words of Cotton Candy Randy, then yes, we may do.
Now, what do you say if we make this a mutual tied up situation and we could just take turns?
And I would like to roll for seduction.
Well, in this situation, if you say something like that, we have just been raided.
I wonder who it's from.
Tales archived. Hello, friends. Thank you so much for the raid.
How you doing? How was your stream? How did it go?
Thank you so much for raiding us. I don't know if we've met before. How did things go? Please introduce yourselves.
Welcome here to the Grouch Couch, my friends. I hope everything went wonderful.
I'm GM Turk. I'm here with Proteus, Connor, and Fishy. We're doing a thing tonight called Love, Death, and Dice.
This is currently the Dragon Vault, our lawful evil campaign. Thank you so much for joining us.
How'd your stream go? I'm going to make sure to pop over and give you a follow as well so we can return the raid whenever we can, my friend.
Thank you so much for joining us. Cheers.
Welcome.
Where was I? What was I saying?
He's like, if you want to make a roll like that, you'll basically be rolling to not piss him off.
There isn't like an advantage from you can be like, let's seduce each other.
But maybe if you say something else, maybe you can get something else. That's my fourth wall breaking Dungeon Master advice.
I think all the way you want it to maybe try something else. You got something else?
What does it take to become a part of the Black Network?
That's not necessarily creature related, but you always need more operatives in your midst.
Well, my bearkin friend, what I can say to you is
the Black Network, they all start working with the Legion.
And then one by one they leave and work with me.
You see, it's easy for me to recruit directly from another faction, people that have already been trained and taught the good and ways and bads of the way that things go.
So then they all follow under order of their own leader, whom I directly speak with.
If you want to join the Black Network, you must search outwards.
Or not with me, but with another.
What leaders of the Legion would you recommend speaking to to get into the Black Network?
Well, there are a few.
Of course, there is the Khajiit, what is it? Tabaxi.
He goes by the Monika, Shadowclaw.
I don't know the names directly, I only know their nicknames, of course.
You keep things secretive when you're going undercover.
Of course, there's Shadowclaw and Sharp Fangs and Sticky Man.
And these are the three that I speak with the most.
Are they all Tabaxi or just the Shadowclaw?
Oh, just Shadowclaw's Tabaxi.
What is Shadowfang and Sticky Man?
I think they're flesh of nature, not furry skin.
Gross.
Yeah, I know.
Skin is gross.
Banzo, you have skin under your first.
I took a dark shadow claw.
The old frog toys. Sick. Sorry.
I hope that answers your question, Boblin. Any further questions?
Yeah, I don't think this was going to work out the way that I planned it to.
Look, man, not to have anything against you or your creatures faction.
Quite frankly, I think you're doing great work out there.
Chaos mayhem. Love it. You know, real masterpiece.
I just don't want to be caught up in the midst of it.
And maybe if I'm out there in the public and you see me in a bad situation, maybe you could bail me out of it.
Maybe. Now, of course, as being the new champions of my arena, you've killed my fellow champion, the Minotaur.
I love Minotaurs. They're so powerful.
Now, because you've won, not only do you win my audience, but I will also be giving each one of you 600 gold. Congratulations.
And the Duri Gar come around and hand each one of you little pouches of 600 gold apiece.
And he's like, you're welcome back to fight in my arena whenever you have.
We put teams against teams and then the one who wins wins an audience of answers with the great wisdom of Xanathar and of course gold.
Cool.
One last question.
Yes.
Do you know where to find Adamantium Ingot?
That's a tough thing to find the right seller in common steel for common steel is a city of markets.
The right seller might have an Adamantium Ingot.
I do not have any currently, although I did manage to get my hands on a nimble rate that I plan to melt down for just a simple thing, which will be good for me.
But yes, I suggest you search the marketplace.
Thank you.
You are welcome.
This will be a strange question for you.
But I imagine in your infinite wisdom, you might know something.
Do you know of any potions that exist that are able to repel intense heat such as lava?
Yes, it could be just a potion.
There happens to be a gnome that I've tried to recruit a couple of times.
And this gnome knows how to make many, many a potion.
All you have to do is supply him with the right supplies and he can make you whatever you want.
Although I know him and this potion thing has come new and easy to him.
But all you must do, my feather-hatted, cozy-hatted worshiper of death, is ask the right man and they can make it for you.
Yes, the resist heat potions, they do exist.
Maybe even to turn your stone to skin.
Turn your skin to stone to stop you from feeling pain.
Turn your stone to skin. Yes, yes, yes.
Yep.
What? Do you have his name?
May I have his name?
Schemo.
Oh, no shit. Yeah, we got a Schemo.
Yeah. Yeah.
All seem really cool. Thanks, Frogtoys. Appreciate you, dude.
You seem cool, too. Welcome.
Now, any further questions before I kick you out of my sanctum?
I have things to attend to.
Where's the exit?
I don't want to go into the way we came through. That's rough.
Ah, you may head back through a tavern of mine that I own.
As you go back through the Coliseum and out to your east.
Your weist, if you will.
All right.
Well, your excellency, we will be off.
Thank you for the gold and the treasures of the wisdom.
I hope you slay it.
You are very welcome, my dragon bear friend.
Let's go out the same way we came in.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
As we are leaving, if I were to approach a legionnaire about joining the Black Network,
how would I address them so they would know that I am one of them?
I am looking to be recruited.
Well, if you go and you tell them Xanathar sent you,
first of all, they won't believe you.
But you must go to them
and say that you believe.
You believe in the one true leader.
You say, thank you.
Hail creatures. Our legion.
That's the wrong one.
Disadvantage from next.
Fuck. How's it going, buddy?
How's it going?
What does he say? We believe we believe in the creatures.
How industrious.
OK, where are we going out?
We're heading out. Where are we going?
We're going east.
Can we close? Can we close the door behind us as we leave?
Sure, yeah. OK.
That's what I want to do, because I'm not working my way through this dungeon again.
I'm opening up a portal.
In front of our house, actually inside of our house.
I mean, like, what was really cool, but also it's like you miss out on learning new things.
But hey, God, do you guys want to stay and learn new things?
I mean, I don't see the harm in learning some new things as we go out.
OK, actually, do I even have? Wait, what?
I learned quite a bit.
Hold on, let me check real quick before you guys even make your decision here.
I'll break a fourth wall for you.
Where were the other walls you broke?
Dude, they're all over the place, dude.
We're breaking walls again?
Yeah, like three doors.
Yeah, that really didn't need to be but but brushed out.
Let me see.
I'm just going to search for it.
I got to double check.
This room smells fishy, like somebody just took a sledgehammer to a bunch of fish.
You know, just wondering, OK, now you're going to hate it, but you could blame wizards for this fucking one.
I don't know in the other book that at that exit leads you to so I can't show you the end that that goes to.
Of course, I can make something up myself, which I can absolutely fucking do.
But I was hoping to be able to lead you to the cool thing that they fucking made because they made this dungeon.
But I don't know in the next fucking book.
Oh, well, why don't you guys just open up a portal?
Oh, man. Oh, crazy.
Get back over here.
But I found a room with a bunch of friends in it.
Oh, they look like they're going to eat me.
Never mind.
Oh, that's a table full of dead people.
Oh, cool.
Well, finally, a table full of dead people.
Hold on.
I'm going to place a bunch of coins on their eyes.
And they will portal out of here or should we portal them, throw them in the pit because we can't.
Frog toys.
Proteus actually streams on their own channel and they do makeup.
It's one of the things that they do.
And it's fucking rad.
So you should actually give them a follow because they might do their makeup live on stream one time and you could check out the whole fucking process.
I don't know what makeup you're talking about.
The next campaign, they're going to be doing a tiefling.
So it's going to be sick.
Hang out for that.
All right.
Raz, there's always dead bodies.
You're going to put coins on their eyes.
Is that what? Yes, I put coins on their eyes.
I'm already over back by Tess.
OK, all right.
You can open up a portal and get the fuck out of here.
Hell, yeah.
All right.
So this is plus six.
All right.
Let's do it.
Don't fail.
Oh, yeah.
God damn it.
That's the sound of a natural one, everybody.
That's the sound that a natural one makes.
I need help.
I haven't got my motherfucking thank you.
Yeah, I got you.
Frog boys.
There you go.
OK.
It's an alive makes it an eleven.
So you don't critical fail.
So you're OK.
That's literally what I didn't want you to do because you're God and all the other whatever.
So since you just failed, this isn't like in an action.
I'm not going to make you just continue to reroll it indefinitely.
So we'll just say you do that.
Where does the portal open to?
I wanted to open up into actually Tess's room in front of that cupboard just to make sure that our guy's still there.
You open it right in front of the cupboard and you three step out and you see that the cupboard is locked.
Two, three, five, seven.
You have your own little key to the cupboard and you stick it in there and open it.
And he's just in there docile like he's resting like, oh, my God, Tess, you have no furniture in here.
It's just like I imagine it's like a four by four closet.
Like it's not it's it's a closet.
Yeah.
You ever seen like Futurama like that's exactly how I imagine it.
Yeah.
That is precisely what my room is.
Yeah, I do not have much more room than that.
But he's still in there.
So congratulations.
You three have managed to obtain one, the three keys to the dragon vault.
You have also the dragon stone, the stone of galore can help teach you the location of said Dragon Ball.
It has plenty of other powers.
But for right now, it's all you know.
And that, my friends, is where we're going to leave it for tonight with you three back inside of the inn with the nimble right.
But you can hear below you in the bottom floor, all of the ruffians leading the charge of the gambling casino.
You guys are on the third floor in the closet next to the closet where your bedrooms are.
But you can hear all the way down there below the ruffians doing their thing.
Is is there a chance that I can just do it in inject of me like honor?
Are we getting like a break?
Is there going to be any time passage between now and our next stuff?
Totally. Yeah, for sure.
I want to teleport to schemos and fucking start working on this heat resistance potion.
I'm going to be a fucking face. She said, what the fuck, bro, that's my guy.
You can come to if you want to see your freaking fleshy.
I'm going to go cut a sweet roll up that tire guy.
They say you get your get your freak on with a meat bag.
I'm cool. Whatever. You can come along if you want.
I just can't believe like a meat bag test.
Really? Yes, skin rose. You guys had OK, really quickly to schemos.
And what I'm going to do here, I need a couple of different things.
Tables. Yes, I'm going to need some tables of some stuff.
Hold on. You want to make this potion, yes? Yes.
OK, before we do that, I'm willing to give him all the money I have just one from that arena.
OK, well, then that kind of changes things. We can just do that.
Then you approach and he sees you and he's like, hey, you like walk inside.
And as you walk inside of his shop, he's like building stuff in the back.
There's all these potions that at this point have like gathered dust.
He's kind of forgotten about them and has now set his focus on his mechanical abilities.
And you can see there's like crazy different like machines.
There's even one of them like cracking eggs onto like a frying pan, auto cooking them
and then throwing them into a trash can because he's not eating eggs.
But he just wanted to see if he can make a machine that would cook eggs for him.
And he's like in the back and he sees you guys and he's like, oh, hey, you're back already.
It's been like. Less than a day. Yeah, test.
I'm going to I'm just going to pick up my bag of gold and slam it on the table.
And I was like, I need the best heat resistant potion you have.
Oh, whatever you got.
So like I've kind of stepping away from making potions.
But I could still do that for you.
I mean, we could your tests, friend test you vouch for this man.
Are you over your little slump?
Yeah, I guess this hat's pretty cool.
And God basically told me he doesn't hate me, so it's whatever.
Yes, I vouch for this man. OK, cool.
So I mean, then we could I have 400 gold.
I can make you a heat resistant potion.
I have to brainstorm a little bit.
How do you feel about turning into a gargoyle?
It's I guess it's fine. Is it permanent? No.
Yeah, I'm cool. That's what I care.
Well, then let me look into it. Come back in a day.
400 gold. I'll make you that potion.
You got it. Thanks. All right.
Hey, test you figure out anything or know anything from a journal or like, you know.
I have been focusing on the journal.
I have not had luck yet, but. OK.
Maybe keep your distance from assassination, get part of the Legion.
Why do you say that?
We ran into factions of the creatures and the black network might be deeper in than we think.
Sons of bitches. OK, I'll take your word for it.
I'm making some really cool stuff.
I've let me see what I've made for you.
No, wait, wait, where is it? Where is my roll chart?
Let me see what I've made for you.
Is there a chance that while I'm here, I can do another intelligence role on the journal?
Yeah, totally. Well, no, because you already don't.
You already know that you don't know the language.
He hands you a bag of green ash.
It's like a clear bag. It has green ash inside of it. And he's like.
So you can pour this ash on any object.
Doesn't matter the size. It could literally be a house and it will make that object invisible for one D for rounds.
How industrious. Yeah.
Did you get my snake with the nimble rate?
The blueprints. I did. I just arrived.
I'm still working on it.
Do you think that is something that you would be interested in making?
Yes, absolutely.
I could have I would have use of one if you did in fact make one.
OK, a robot wants its own robot.
A warforged wants a nimble right. I love that.
I love that. Let me.
I come back in a day.
You got it. OK, good luck.
Any questions?
I was going to say, OK, good luck.
And he goes back to his inventions, creating weird things.
There's like he's standing on a little box like up high because there's so much stuff below him.
Little gnome guy. Love it.
OK, Raz Test. Does that satisfy your intrigue?
Yes, it does.
As we walk back, I would like to make comment on to stress.
I didn't realize you were hiding a mustache.
What are you talking about? How do you know that?
You think I didn't follow you the whole way?
I just came up behind you while you were talking to schema.
Oh, you were there.
Well, it's a good thing you're not technically living,
because then I would definitely have to kill you.
That's fine. Listen, it's OK.
What the Legion originally stood for, which is standing by our fellow members.
I wasn't going to let you go alone.
We struggle together. Right.
Listen, I can be happy, happy, go lucky about my religion all I want.
But when God's mad at me,
it doesn't feel too good, especially since I know that he's real.
You know, it's it's not it's not a thing that I'm just putting on for getting money or I legitimately believe in him because I've seen him.
He talks to me. So when it.
I mean, it's it's it's like, you know, my my my father is mad at me, but it's more intense because I fucking hated that guy. But
I do not know my father. Right. Right.
Which is part of the reason I saved schema. I think he may know who it is.
Well, that's interesting.
I want you to know that I believe your religion, even if it does not accept my life forms.
That's that's comforting. But listen, I'll do my best to look out for you guys.
As long as you do your best to look out for me and Boblin here while we're still among the living.
Sounds like a great deal.
Oh, yeah. Nice little intimate moment while you're walking.
But that is we're going to end it for tonight as you guys arrive back at the of course, Boblin and the ruffians and freaks.
A part of the couch. Power's good.
So you're nerds. The grow 11 rock on the grow 11 rock on theirs and the two other men from from above.
Thanks, powers. Fucking coins. Cheers, buddy.
Thank you so much for the support.
So we're going to leave it there. We are going to come back for our short rest.
We're going to do a quick one because you ran a little bit over tonight, but it was a fun little episode.
So we're going to do a quick short rest and we'll be right back for that stuff.
I have a lot that I want to talk about, so we'll see how the hell that goes.
You guys. Yeah. Before we do go to a short rest, if you're watching here on Spotify or YouTube,
first of all, I think Spotify might have been weird today because it was a dungeon map kind of episode.
But thank you so much for making it all the way through.
Make sure to hop over and follow Prodeus on YouTube and other kinds of places that wherever you're watching for other arts and other kinds of stuff.
And I tell you what, we'll be right the heck back. All right.
Very soon. And if you want to listen to short rest, got to come to the live, baby.
Got to come to the live. Yeah. All right. We'll be right back, y'all.