Hello everybody and welcome to love death and dice the dragon vault episode 7
Oh
Jesus my skateboard fell down don't worry about that hello everybody thunder. That's right. I'm excited to be here
I am your lovely dungeon master turkey, and I'm here with three of the lovely lads hello lads
Hello
Hi guys proteus Connor and fishy happy to be back here happy to be playing more love death and dice
It's really exciting. I love playing this campaign. It's been a friggin blast so far. I hope you guys agree
Hi guys fishy. How you doing welcome?
I'm doing alright, man
We're here
Time to do some stuff
Time to do the things that's right Connor. What about you buddy? How you doing? How you feeling you ready for this?
Oh, I'm doing good. I'm I'm getting over
Headaches I've had for the past week, but for some reason this makes my headaches go away
So you know this is like inline therapy that I'm doing right now with y'all so I really love it. It's awesome
I'm doing good. Did you in a mood today?
We're here to do some stuff. That's right witness. Hi proteus. How you doing?
I mean a coming off that high of that charity stream. Oh my god one my body hurts
14 hours is too long to be in front of a camera, but uh
What do we raise five five thousand one hundred and seventy something dollars of thanks to all of you nerds
Also Connor came on
And it was just a fucking delight the whole time. So if you missed it
Oh, yeah, he got he got the final he got our final jeopardy question correct with no fuckups of my own
Hell yeah, that's wonderful. That's wonderful
Totally totally that's awesome
Alright you guys look we're gonna run the intro
We're gonna run the full intro those you guys watching on YouTube and Spotify and stuff
It won't be the full intro for y'all
But for us we're gonna want the full things we can kind of get back into the mood because last week was our
Halloween special so technically it's been about two weeks since we've done mainline story here on love death and dice the Dragon Vault
So that's what we're doing baby doll. We're gonna run the full on intro. We're gonna come back
We're gonna roll some dice. I'm excited to be here. Yeah, one dice
Come to stretch
I just said she's freaky
I think she did
Wow
Also, yes. Yes. Yes also
I guess that's what you get for being called a Hitachi all last week
Welcome back to love death and dice episode 7 of the Dragon Vault again
I'm your dungeon master turkey with Proteus Connor and fishy who will be playing t3 5 7 Reverend Raz Sanders in
in bumbling Barlow
That's right, that's right guys, so before we actually get started tonight
I would love to recap a little bit about the items that you did get last week
It may be anything that you want to remember or help remind me or anyone else who's watching along
Did you guys get anything special? I would love to start with bumbling bumbling. What do you got? I?
Got a whole list of things actually
Yeah
not a one-time use consumable items
but
Let's see. I got a drug stick. I
Got a dice to be able to rerolled
And I got berries from bahala. I
Also got Terry's ring
a
bottle full of gummy bears
Not not from
a
little mushroom a
certified
certifiable coin
and a
Mandroid action figure oh yeah. Oh yeah, so the drug stick we could treat that like ash
I'm down the berries will be good berries
You guys did each get one advantage reroll to from that go
I
Believe that's what it was you can sell the mandroid action figure or you can put it up in your home
Yeah, mandroid fucking action figure another world. Oh hi in the world. What's up y'all?
You also get over there and follow another world if you don't do get over there shout out to another world
and
Yeah, I think that's it
Yeah, I don't know what a mask is so I have to teach me about whatever that is
Yeah
Yeah, I have no idea. Oh, I'm not necessarily sure what Terry's ring did so I'll have to figure out
I have to remember what that does far as you can tell right now
Oh my god, why not inside?
I did I had you cheers friend. Mm-hmm
Oh my god, just one other time, please. I have only two ears
Raz it is your face. I will let you go
So like you think this is a good thing
I think it's a good thing
I think it's a good thing that you go
So like you think this is my actual face is what I'm getting it
Oh, yeah
I mean anything else. It's not it's a mask
Dude, you wear it in the shower. It's your face. Yeah, it's part of my religion
Why are you watching Raz in the shower? Yeah
Who wouldn't want to I'm just saying not that I can really see anything
Anyways
You're the weirdo wearing a mask in the shower
Anyways
Thank you, Gerrity for banning shower. Appreciate that
Why aren't you watching Raz in the shower?
Raz do you get any anything special items you want to mention before we get started here from the trick-or-treat special?
The one thing I want everybody to remember that I have is that advantage roll
Yeah, other than that
Okay
I mean a lot of the same stuff that he just listed
All right, and you?
Because I failed the checks. What's that?
Because you suck
T357 you have anything special you want to mention?
I don't believe I got the advantage roll because I do not know the rules of the game
True huh
But I ended up with a Hitachi charger, drugs, and a merfolk swim bladder
Oh yeah
I forgot about that
All right, good deal. Good deal. That was a little bit of our recap
For those of you guys listening on Spotify or watching on YouTube
You didn't get to see the trick-or-treat special that was live only
It might also be on YouTube, I don't know, but that's basically all you need to know from that
I totally should be. I want to watch it again
Okay, we'll see what happens
Tiny Irish Viking, hello
Hello, Tiny Irish Viking
It was so much fun
Mm-hmm
Okay, dramatic music ensues
Dun dun dun dun
As we begin tonight's session
Zooming into a small doorway in an alleyway
With a snake on it and the door creaks open
And we go down the stairs to meet up with T357 and Raz
As you guys finish filing up your paperwork from all of the death and the missions that you had succeeded on
And as you're about to turn around and leave
You're approached by a hooded figure
And this hooded figure is really tall, really lanky
And you can see his hands, he's got really long black fingernails
And he walks up real close and smiles
And you can see he has two long teeth
Where his canines are and he pulls back his hood and he's got this lavish black hair that goes down his face
And he's got a scar across his cheeks, super like anime style
This is like dream anime, because even his eyes are like red
And he looks at you two and he's like, yeah
So
This is the new recruit and T357
It's good to meet you new recruit, I hear you have a
Church of Death
I do, you're correct
I wanted to approach you today
Well before our meeting over here
Just to ask you, someone like me, bless you
Someone like me, do you think I could join this Church of Death?
Well I mean, that depends
Are you a robot?
No
Okay, well are you a vampire?
I would like you to take one look at me, Mr. Sanders
And tell me what do you think?
Well I mean
You look like a vampire five or someone, but the scar on your cheek is kind of telling me
Because usually vampires don't get scars
It was there before I died the first time
You see that's my question, your church is a worshiping of death, I've already died once
Would I still be able to join?
Well yes you've died, but you've also not stayed dead
So there's kind of a problem there
I don't know
I'll have to talk with the big guy upstairs to see what he thinks
Okay, you don't think your god has a bias against vampires?
He might, he doesn't really, it makes his job kind of hard when people don't die
Because the whole point of his existence is to ferry them onto the next world
But if there's people that are holding up the god damn line it kind of causes him some trouble
But do not vampires bring more death to your god?
That is true, that's why I'm considering talking to the big guy about you
But as a follower maybe not, but maybe as some sort of deity on the side that could be possible
Are you deifying a vampire?
Well I...
No no no no no no, nothing like that yet, we're just seeing what's going on first with the guy
I heard that your sermon was being held tonight and I was wondering maybe I could come and sit in at least in your temple
Uh, yeah
Oh good news, it's Friday
Yeah it is Friday
You know what, come by, come by
Okay, well I will see you there tonight then, but first we have business to attend to
And he pulls his hood back over his face and guides you guys to the back room where you just left
And he's now here doing paperwork for a little while
And as the door swing open you hear like screams for a second
And then you hear Kith like slam on the cage, shut up!
And the Mr. Grand guy that you had captured previously is now sitting in a chair and it looks like he's been tortured for information
And he sits around the table and this vampire, which by the way needs a name, chat if you want to name this vampire
Please use the name of thing command and name this vampire
He doesn't sit at the table being that the light is shining down at the table
But all you guys sit around the table and Kith looks at you and he's like, looks at you T357 and he's like
So, being now that you are an official assassin, an assassin much like me, still my underling I will say
We have a task for you, we would like you to keep moving forward with this thing you've been on
And I read through a lot of the paperwork you filed Raz, good job killing all of those people Mr. Sanders
You have the power to explode
Oh yeah, in any place that I've been to before I can teleport to put down a bomb and leave if you like
And by the way this bomb is undetectable by most bomb sniffing creatures
So it's pretty good at causing chaos where you need it
Yes, very good, very good, very good
Well me and my co-patriot
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
I'm reading the names in chat right now
Oh my god, Engelbert honey toast
But slump gertons is so good
I don't
Oh sucky and dry, holy shit
Okay, me and my co-patriot, Engelbert honey toast
Which I'm gonna have to save or I'm not gonna remember that
After you describe this badass anime looking guy
His last name is fucking honey toast
He looks who he's like
My name is
It's been passed down for centuries
I am very old, very very old Mr. Sanders
Back in my day you would weep when you heard the name honey toast
Really? Cause now you're saying it to me and I'm just kinda hungry
Oh yes, you would be hungry for death
Ah, ah
He is always hungry for death
Ah yeah, soy for her, soy for her
And uh, kids like soul
Um, me and my co-patriot here have decided together that we're gonna lead this mission half, uh, you know, head on from the backside here
We're gonna be doing a lot of the paperwork, handling a lot of the stuff that you guys don't need to handle
But from what we've learned from Mr. Grand, this stone that we're searching for
His wife's nimble right still has it
And it's somewhere in the city
We're gonna need you guys to search all over the city with this device you spoke of and find it
We need the next steps
The Legion needs to know what the stone is, where it goes to, where it leads and what it is
Especially if the creature faction, the mystics and the iron heads are all after it
Savvy
Sure
Yes
Now, one last thing
Don't, if you do manage to find the stone before you come back to us
Don't let it fall in the hands of your faction hopping friend
He may be useful for us one day, but for now, don't let him have it
Got it, don't trust Bob
Understood
That's been a thing since we've started this adventure
Yes, yes
Now, as a reward for bringing us Mr. Grand, not only am I going to give all of you a part of your take from the quest
Which is a hundred gold pieces each
But additionally, I have some Legion items that we use, you see
And he pushes these emerald green rings across the table
And he's like, well, let's just talk in game speak a little bit
If you decide to wear these rings and have them be one of your items that you have equipped
They will increase your HP by five
Oh, are there any downsides, Genie?
There is none
Oh
But it takes up an inventory slot
It's like a whole half a heart
You get a half a heart from these bad boys
Hmm
Okay, any questions for me before you go?
Oh, and in your inventory, they can just be called Legionnaire rings
Just give you plus five HP
Yeah
Oh, I don't need to do that anymore
I almost did it
Engelbert honey toast
Fuck off, Clint
Hey, I'm happy you joined us tonight, by the way
Cheers, buddy
Timeless
It's in my notes now
It's canon in our world forever
The honey toast is like a curse of Strahd
Which is like a big famous D&D book all about a crazy vampire
If we ever played that, it now would have to be the curse of honey toast
So that's fun
Not the curse of honey toast
Yes
Hi, Sora, what's up, dude?
You guys, shout out to Sora
Thank you so much for doing all the badass shit you did in Proteus' friggin' charity stream
I guess yours too
It wasn't just proteus, you know, good shit with your charity stream, dude
Good shit
Good job, Sora
Good job
I am proud of you, my little homie
Hell yeah, dude
You guys
He goes, any final questions for me?
You know your task
No questions
Do we have a location from Grand where we should start our exploration for the Nimble Gang?
He has given us no information
He's on the brink of death now though if you want to finish him off
I'm sure you just have to find the light right leverage
Yeah, could be
Would you like to give it a shot?
Show me your newfound moves
Oh, I got some moves
I'm sure you do, but you do not have
You can
If it does not go our way, we can just finish the job
Sure, if you would like
But he does not have authority unless he's with you
So if you go, he can go
He pulls out keys, he opens the gate
You guys step inside and he's just in the chair like
First my wife dies and now this
He opens one eye, his other eye is all black and he's like
Oh, you two, please don't let them kill me
I still have so much to live for
That can be arranged
But you must give us a reason why you should live
Why? I don't know nothing, man
You were conspiring against the Legion, you must have something you can give us
And you can return to your life of luxury
Oh, I'm already in so much pain, there's nothing you can do to me
There's nothing you can do
You said you do not want to die, we can make the die happen
I don't believe you
Test me, toaster
Okay
I would like to just do not kill him yet
I would like to just scrape the side of his cheek with one of my poison blades
Just strip his face slightly
Okay, our target number right now is 14
He's right in front of you
But if you want to scrape, what I'll say is
On this attack, if you succeed, you can
If you go too low, you'll do not enough damage
If you go too high, you might kill him with your poison, so you need to
Well, you can't go too high
If you go too low, something might happen that's not good for you
Because there's no way you're going to miss this attack
So the stipulations are that you need to succeed to not kill this man
But you are a very expertised dagger user, so I bet you'll nail this
Go on ahead and roll me a d20
Powerful magic!
What did you get? I didn't see it
The magic came up
I got a 2
You got a 2, thank god!
An invisible imp inspires you with guidance, so through the wall
Hey, what's up, fuckhead? Do better
Hello
Thanks
Yeah, Ned sent me
See you later
You can do it with advantage now
Since when do I have homie points with Ned Brave?
Well
It's a 10
Well, you have bonuses to dexterity, don't you, on your character sheet?
Yes, that would be a plus 2
Oh, so it's a 12
You're 2 down
Also, Moby gave me an item at the end of last stream
Don't use the hatachi item
You're just searching now, you're like, oh, give me something
Give me something to make this work
Give me something
Without failure, there cannot be success
But I'll tell you what, we could stall for a second
Let's go ahead and roll for your magical item
What about me? Can I do something?
Yeah, well, I want T247 to lead on this
Alright, you get one more shot
That's even worse, that's a 9
Not good
Uh, magic loot table
Yeah
Yeah, there we go, I'm gonna roll a d6
We gotta do like a good cop, bad cop thing
3, 1, 2, 3
Actually, we're both bad cops, it's like bad cop, bad cop
We're bad cop and badder, badder cop
Oh shit
You got the ring of invisibility item
Make a wisdom check to activate
You can remain invisible for 1d4 rounds
If that doesn't fit your character, I don't know what does
Yeah
Alright, quickly roll me your damage
Maybe you'll get lucky
Hey, the reroll is just like an extra roll on top of the advantage roll
Although I could be nice sometimes
And give them the full advantage
Is that with the poison as well?
The d4 boys
The poison blades just allow me to attack again
Oh yeah, okay, alright
I could be nice sometimes, certifiable, I could be
With your 3 damage
You get real close to his face and slice his cheek
And your blade begins to cut into his mouth
And blood drips out
And as he talks a little bit, he's like
No, I
The black network
And as you're pushing it through his cheek, he's like
The black network, they're working for someone else
And you cut, open his mouth and blood comes out
And he just dies in the chair
So you kill them
But that's all the information you get
That's fine, Raz, would you like to put coins on the corks' eyes?
I would, but
This man wearing clothes
Yeah
Can I check for any markings on his body?
Hell yeah, you can
Roll me some shit, roll me a perception, a wisdom roll
Roll it for me, hell yeah you can
What is this bullshit?
Wow
Momlin, what the fuck?
My first roll of the night, baby
I hate him so much, I can't even
Hahahaha
I really hate how much his god likes him
It's really like
That's what it is
Dude, the imp comes back through the wall
The great loves to shit out of this guy
There he does
The imp comes back through the wall, he's like
Oh hey guy
Make sure to
Make sure to check his stomach, my friend
And then he goes back through the wall, disappears
And you roll
Roll down
It doesn't go through, yeah
That's the rules, doesn't go through
So you search his body, now he's wearing fine
Fancy royalty kind of clothes
And you search his whole body
And on his stomach there looks to be
In a tattoo, similar to the one that you have
Of the snake, but instead of it being a snake
It looks like
A different kind of symbol
Like almost like a circle with a couple of things
Sticking out of it
So you roll me
Another wisdom save
We'll call this insight
To see if you can connect the dots as to maybe what this is
Now you found it
We need to see if you know what it is
Do you want us to both roll wisdom?
That's a 19
You can see it as well, but he did succeed
But maybe so he doesn't have to relay the information
Go ahead and roll it
Cha cha
Watch, watch
Watch it be awful
It's a four
I don't get it
You did, they look so much better
You connect the dots
Raz, this circle with these lines
Coming out of it is the exact symbol that you've seen
As you were going down through the sewers
The first episode of this campaign
The logo on his stomach
Is that
It's a circle with four little lines coming out of it
Well
Tess, can I borrow your dagger?
Absolutely
Fuck
Cool
Well, I'm gonna cut it out of this guy
Okay
Just roll me a slide of him
We'll do decks to see if you can do it well
That's a five
I don't do very good
It's a sloppy chop, it's got like cuts through it
And like slits through it
It's kind of like in a couple pieces, but you hold it together
Okay
Kith approaches the cage, sees that he's dead
And he's like
Ah, I see Tess
Resorting to the old ways of just killing him, huh?
I knew you were a badass
No, we have information
The Black North Network is working for someone else
Ah, do we know who?
Well, it has something to do with this
And I hold up the pieces of skin off of the belly
Jesus, man
Alright
You guys are badass
I couldn't
I wouldn't
Alright
Alright, well you
You keep that and you let me know if that
Piece of skin leads you anywhere, okay?
You got it, man
And then I'm gonna open up a doorway
Alright, roll me magic
Um, it's
So funny to do that, cause
We were recently playing Pirate Borg and every time you try to cast magic
You also have to roll magic
But if you fail, the whole fucking world will end
Yeah, so like when you fail like this
It just fizzles out, and it just doesn't work
Um, but in the other game
It's like, yeah, crazy
He's like, ah, he tried to cast a spell
Yeah, you can't cast magic in here, you're gonna have to go through the door
Oh, okay, I was just trying to dispose of the body for you guys
But I might as well just leave some of these coins on him
Okay, sounds good
So now you get a plus one to your next magic cast
Yeah
Okay, now that that is all said and done
You guys leave
Out of the Legion area
And we cut over
Happy music plays, you hear fighting noises
Kling, kling, kling, kling
People stabbing of armor as we zoom around
And get a real close view
Of the castle and the gray stone walls
And then we go down
Through a grate in a doorway
And we go through a couple rooms
And then we approach to another room where
Bamblin is sitting in a chair
In a line with a couple other Iron Head recruits
And walking back and forth in front of them
Is, uh, did I write down his fucking name?
I don't think I wrote down his name
Actually, I don't even think he had a name
The Iron Head Captain? He didn't have a name
Um, but he's walking back and forth in front of you
His armor shining in the light of all the candles
And he's like
So, brother
This past week us Iron Heads had a bad defeat
And
It's come to my attention
That one of our recruits
Took it upon them
To take the
Attention that one of our recruits took it upon themselves
To go into the Grand Manor
And
Write tickets
For over 30 different
People
And, uh, not only that
But he did write also some parking tickets
But first, together, as we always do
Because
One apart of one, Iron Heads will succeed
Woo!
He walks up to you and gets real close and he goes
Alright
Barlow
Private Barlow
I'm gonna need you
To explain to me what the fuck happened
One more time
Because we interrogated that
Evil mastermind you brought in
And let me tell you what, brother
The only thing he seemed to care about
Were stairs
So tell me again
What happened?
As you see, sir
I had walked into the establishment
Noting several different corpses aligning the floors
So I proceeded to go around writing tickets
For unproper burial sites
That was step number one
We got that party, Jim
Oh, here do you activate the
Barrier
Oh, here do you activate the command
And did the info at the same time, dog
Keep on going, Boblin
Ah
And then I found
This mastermind
That said that the stairs were
The most important
Operations
Huh?
Most important what? Say again
Say again
Key part of operations
Ah, the stairs were
Your first charisma
Roll, Boblin, let's go
And guess what? Because of Jaredy's
Misclick, you get disadvantage
You could blame Jaredy
Wow, thanks Jaredy
Oh, that's a
Two or three
Nice, nice, he's like
Stairs, huh?
You keep providing me false information
Recruit Boblin
I'm not gonna be able to promote you
Now you did a great job with all those tickets
That you wrote
But this information you're giving us
Leads us nowhere
We
We're trying to go into the grand
Manor, Barlow
So we can get further information
On this magical stone that's going
Around because we wanna get it
Capture it and keep it safe so it doesn't
Fall into the wrong hands, do you
Understand?
I ask Captain Sack
Now
I'm gonna go on ahead and let you win this recruiting
Process of tickets, you did your
Due diligence
But you are going to need to promise
To me that if you ever hear
Anything about this stone, if you
Ever see it, get your hands on it or whatever
You bring it back to the Iron
Heads, understood?
I promise
And I put it on my son
And my life, Captain
That if I hear
Anything about any rocks
That I will let you down
No
The stone of galore
You understand?
The glorious stones
You got it boss
How about Jack?
God damn it
Hi Forge of Lore, what's up dude? Thank you for writing us
Oh hi there friends, what's up dude?
Thank you for joining us
Thank you for bringing your friends all day
All over here dude, love to see you
Thank you for joining us last week too on the frickin
TriggerTreat special, you guys shout out to Forge
Get over there and follow Forge y'all
Thank you for the berries
That's right
You listen here
And he pulls out this little leather case
And opens it
And inside
There are two little pins
And he pulls off one of them
And it's got the symbol of the Iron Head shield on it
And he grabs your
Cloak and he pins it on there
And he goes
Recruit, you are now private of the
Iron Heads
Furthering this day
You will be going to see
If you can train and ride your own griffin
Now, not all
Privates get to ride griffins
It takes time, training
Sometimes it takes the right griffin
That will accept you
But, furthering this day
You will get to go
And do your best shot at it
Understood?
Understood Captain
Sir, go and clean
The griffin's leather boxes
How did you make it this far?
I don't, I don't understand
I don't, I don't get it
Ugh
By sheer wits and strength Captain
Sir
We have to stop at this point
For one second
Because we need to name a thing
This is a very important name of thing
That the Court of Chaos chat
Is going to get to name
This name of thing is the
Female Bearkin that stole
Bomblin's longsword
This is the female Bearkin that is also
An Iron Head recruit at the same time
With Bomblin
This is the only other Bearkin currently
As we know inside Intoxic
In common steel city
We need a name of thing for a bear
To rival Bomblin
Barlow
You can use the name of thing command
Go ahead and throw it into chat
Now this pin
Um
That he gives you
Um, gives you a
Sorry I'll have it written down here
Hmm
Ah yes
Yes
Those are some good names you guys
Um, but I don't want it to be too similar
To Bomblin
Yeah Jesus Christ you're trying to make
Her my sister, Captain
Don't make it his sister
I appreciate the direction you guys are going in though
Um, so this pin
While you're wearing it, once per day
You can make a reaction when someone
Tries to hit you
Bomblin but a girl
Fuck off, um, paying attention
Bomblin this pin's really cool
When someone tries to hit you
And they miss
You can make a reaction
And make an attack
Against them
Once per day
Like a riposte?
Yes, this is basically a riposte pin
Once per day
You can make a reaction
To attack someone when they attack you and miss
Yeah
Fantastic
Fantastic, um, yeah so I get to pick the first name
Um, so you three after this, all you three of you
Roll me a d20 and
Hyrule gets to pick the name and
Uh, it would be good if it was Bomblin but that's not
The way it goes cause these other guys might just be trying to
Fuck him over so who knows
Bariah Carey is amazing
Is Bariah Carey in there?
Cause that's so good
Holy shit
Alright
What do we got, what do we got, what do we got, what do we got
We're still waiting for Connor
Here we go, fifteen
For Connor, um, it looks like
Bomblin does get to pick the name
Nilbmob
Barry Manilow
Jeno
Sticky Paws
Ah
Ursa
Ursa Sticky Paws
Is that what we're going with?
Yeah, it also reminds me of
UrsaRag from PokeMains
Oh yeah, that's true
Which is also a bear
Yeah
Okay
Alright
The captain
Walks down the line and pulls her
In front of the line just like he did with you
Now you two are both standing in front of the line
And you get a better look at this bear
She's smaller than you, more feminine
You can see her tail is real bushy
She's more of a
Kind of like a black bear, yeah
She's got bright green eyes as she
Turns to look at you, her teeth are real
Sharp, um, and she
Kind of flurls her cloak back a little bit
And you can see on her chest she's got some scars
From something
Like big three scratches across her
Chest, but he approaches her
And he's like
Hold on, I gotta find
There we go
Ursa! Recruit
Sticky Paws
As promised, you will also be
Brought up to a private
You got the second place position
For the amount of tickets that you gave out
Now I truly believe that your tickets may have been
More real
Than what private Barlow
Had bought into us
You caught some robbers
Stopped some murderers
Stuff like that, you did a real good job
Sticky Paws, so you will now
Be private Sticky Paws
And he pulls out the second pin, the leather thing
And sticks it on her, and he's like
In the next ten day you will also be joining
Me and Mr. Bomblin
On the fields where we'll be
Seeing if you guys have the equipment
And the gonads
To ride a griffon, understood?
And she goes
I don't think you could say that to a
Female
Oh, yeah, yes sir
You say that and they both just turn and look at you
And it's like completely quiet in there
And then she looks back at him and she's like
Yes sir, I'll be there
And she puts her sword on the ground
And leans on it, it's your sword
That's fine
That sword sucked anyways
I couldn't hit anything with it
Even if I wanted to
You know what, you go ahead
And they keep that sword
And just call it a present from good
Old Ma
She looks at him and she goes
Yeah, I don't think
A bear like you could handle
This sword anyway
I'm sorry sweetheart, but you're going to have to prove yourself
Oh, don't tell me about handling swords
Me as a bear knows how to
Handle swords any day of the week
I tell you what
As you guys begin arguing
The captain says dismissed
And everyone else begins to leave
And you two walk kind of like
Not parallel with each other arguing
But she's behind you and you're in front of her
As you're leaving out in the line
And you're yelling at her and she's just talking back to you
And she's like, I don't believe it
Maybe one day
You can show me what those bear paws
Can actually do, because from what I've seen
I'll show you what my bear paws can do
Awww
All I know is that you
Trip and fall and stumble into everything
Don't you?
Alright
That's just strategic planning
Ah
Maybe so
I know a lot of male bears like to do that
As a trick
But I'm more peaceful than that
You know a lot of male bears?
Well of course
I know you, don't I?
Yeah, but I'm just one
Yeah, that's plenty
Do you know more?
It's for me to know
And you to find out, private bumbling
Well I'll see you
And
I bet you money that
I'll train my griffon, but you won't train yours
Oh, I bet you
Any kind of money that I'll train
My griffon better than you
Can train yours
Alright, put your money where your mouth is
I bet you my iron head badge
That I just got
Alright
I'll bet you
My iron head badge
Alright
She holds out her bear paw
Shake on it
She squeezes in you guys's claws
Go into each other's hands
And they grip a little bit too tight
And they bleed a little bit and she pulls her claw back
And she's like, got a nice grip
And then she throws on
Her hood and she just
Books it off
And now you're out front of the castle
Bumbling
Yeah
Alright
Now what?
Well
You head back to the tavern, bumbling
And you arrive there
Just as T357 and
As Raz are arriving there as well
Now here's the cool thing y'all
We do actually have a cleaned up map
Of this bad boy
Check it out
Yeah, the map has been cleaned
Your tavern has been cleaned up
All the rooms do no longer have
Garbage in them, they are just empty
Rooms, it's not furnished but there's no more
Garbage in here
I even have for you Raz
The basement, check it out
Completely empty basement buddy
Just for you to do whatever it is that you
Want to do with it
We also have the second floor of this map here
It's beautiful, beautiful
It's all cleaned out
And we have the third floor, if you guys want to see
A specific floor in more detail
You want me to leave it open for you, just let me know
And I can do that
This is what we're looking at, and you guys can see the whole thing on your side as well
Right?
Yeah
There's not a hole yet father Jared
It is not our foundry
But I see it on the screen
Yeah, it's not our foundry
Because I did click activate
Can you guys see it on foundry?
Nah
I can't
You can?
Then it might be
Yeah
Alright
Does she give him a flat tire
When she steps on the back of his shoes?
Hell yeah dude, hell yeah
Absolutely, you know that happened
The letters stick you with the nickname
Bumbling, bumbling
Okay, so
You guys have this area, and you guys meet back up here
Together inside of your
Your little tavern
Now, tonight Mr. Raz
You have some planning to do
For your sermon that you're going to give
To the couple of people that will be
Attending
Remind me
I know all the people coming
But I can't remember the potion maker Gnome's name
What was his name?
Why is it spacing me right now?
Proteus, help me
Schemo
Schemo, Jesus
You've got Schemo
Rakiki
As well as Florence Flora
The flower lady
Who lives across the street
And
Oh, Silvius is going to come, but he died
Um
That's so funny
Um, yes, you've got three people coming
Um, and the vampire
As well as the vampire, Engelbert
Honey toast, yeah that's right
You've got four people coming to your sermon
So, you have that to plan, and you will be doing that tonight
Now, while he's planning the sermon, do you, T357
And Bumbling, plan on attending his
Service?
I have things
To talk to Schemo about, so I imagine
I would just go
Nice, alright
Bumbling? I have a mermaid swim bladder
To give him, as well as
Figuring out how to install this eye
Oh yeah
You've got a magical eye on the trick or
Treat special, huh? Is that what it was?
No, that was your level up
That was your level up, yeah
Um
Bumbling, what say you?
Ah
I accidentally just turned on my headphones
As I was remembering
But the whole point was to get a church
So he could praise death and I could
Scam everybody out of their moneys
So, oh yeah
I'm gonna be there, and uh
I wanna be like setting up flyers
And like promoting it
And like, you know, like really
Trying to get as much people to get in
And then I wanna charge like
An intermission, like a
Like a, like an entrance fee
And then a convenience fee
And there's also gonna be an intermission fee
But we'll talk about that later
I'm gonna like, gonna pass around a little
Cheers!
Yeah, a little collection plate
Surviving the Halloween event, probably not getting cavities
Nice! Cheers, Moby!
Yeah, what do you think, collection pan?
No
That sounds dumb
We're gonna pass around a skull
A collection skull
The collection skull
Alright, so what we're gonna do is depending on
How well his sermon goes, depending on
How well the collection's gonna go
That's right, baby
You better plan something good, and everyone here in chat
Can actually help you boost your roles
And help your roles that you're gonna make
During said thing, if you perform well enough
So, if you've got something
I hope it's gonna be good
So that's what we're gonna do, but for now
We're gonna take a five minute break
Hit the bathroom, fill up our drinks
Stuff like that, stretch our legs
And we're gonna be right back, oh but first we're gonna do thumbnail poses
Yay!
Which actually
Have a fun idea for some upcoming thumbnail poses
So if you guys have any ideas
In chat for these guys to pose as, make sure to
I got my collections skull
What is that, Connor? Oh, that's from Produs
Connor has no clue what that is
There we go
I got it
Cheers, buddy!
Cheers, buddy! And cheers to Children of Produs for that wonderful
Stream on Saturday in the charity event
Hell yeah, dude! Fuck yeah,
Moby, cheers, buddy!
Thank you for donating, Moby!
Hell yeah
Why is your skulls all wobbly?
It's crazy
Okay, so
Yeah, you guys just give us a pose here
Just give us a good old pose
I actually like what all you guys are doing right now
Hello everybody and welcome back to Love, Death, and Die
Episode 7, The Dragon Ball
I'm your Dungeon Master Turkey
I'm here with the lads
Say hello, lads
Hello, lads
Yeah
Produs, Connor, and Fishy playing T357
Reverend Razzan, Bomblin, Barlow
That's right
We're gonna hop right back into story now, you guys
And as we last left off
It was the night
Of Friday Eve
I would like to say
It's the equivalent of Friday the 13th here in Intoxica
And
You're having
Your very first session
Your very first sermon
Now down here in the basement
For the god of death, Ned Braith of course
Down here in the basement you have
Well, set up some
Boxes, crates, and barrels
Being that you don't really have pews
Or chairs, any kind of furniture like that
And you've even set up a crate
For you to stand on yourself
In the front
There are some old candles
That are almost burnt out already
Stacked about for light
And I do believe you have
Painted the walls
Didn't you do something with the walls? I don't remember
Uhh
I might have just
Painted the black
I think the whole reason I wanted
I just wanted it to be like a smooth
Box
Devoid of any niceties
Or anything
No cracks, no cobblestone, just smooth
Fucking concrete
Box
I'm gonna get some gold for some concrete or something
But you've tried, I'd say you've sanded down the walls
You know, tried to make them nice and smooth
And
As you're pacing back and forth here in the basement
Bomblin, you're standing out front
The basement entrance
Is actually outside
So people don't have to come in this way
To even in through your building to get
To the basement itself
The entrance to the basement is outside
So you're standing out in the street by the basement entrance
Kind of waving people in
Is there anything you're saying out there, Bomblin?
Hello
Come on, come on
To the Church of Death
That's right, free servant tonight
For the admission of one gold
Come on, come on
Free admission
For one gold
For your
Church of Death
If you want to praise that praise
Well, here's the place
Free admission, one gold
One gold
Actually, you might get
Some people in here, if you want to make me a charisma check
But I'm going to make it a hard roll
Which means it's going to be a 17
To beat it
Because the people in Antiochus don't believe in gods currently
So it's going to be a hard roll
But you might get a couple of stragglers
Yeah, I didn't get nobody
You don't get any stragglers
But, first to arrive
Early, of course
Is Schemo
Now, for anyone who doesn't know Schemo is a
Stand! Give us a speech!
We're redoing the speech and what not
Okay
Yeah
Alright
Re-roll
I'm not going to lie, I didn't plan for
My bottom half of my body to be on camera tonight
I mean, whoever does, right?
Yeah
Hey!
It's a dirty 20!
Just because of the speech, of course
Alright
Come on, come on
Free admission to the
Church of Death
If you want to praise the Rig of Mortis
Well, here's the place to do so
Come on, come on
When life is at its end
This is the place where it
Begins, that's right, come on, come on
Free admission
To gold
It's a new deal I'm doing
Free admission to gold
You already said, you already said
Get out, get out
So you're going to get a couple of random stragglers
Chat, if you want to just name a thing and just name a couple
Of random stragglers, you can even throw races
Or species into chat
As well with the names if you want to
For who the random stragglers are
And we'll actually call it 1d6 stragglers
On your success, the amount of people you get in there
3, 3 stragglers
Yeah, you get 3 stragglers
That hop on in there, which is wonderful
John Smith, very good
Edgy
A very standard white
Human male wearing common
Fantasy clothes comes in
And he says, hey, I'll take it
He's also wearing a suit and tie just like Ned Braith
Sure, he's like, I'll take it
Gives you the one gold piece and walks in
John Smith's the name
And then
Deanna Ross
I feel like sounds like an elf
Deanna Ross
Definitely poor elf living in this side of the neighborhood
Walks in, gives you the one gold
And then of course, Fleurgl McGurgles
He's a goblin
He's like, Fleurgl McGurgles
I'm how? Fleurgl McGurgles
He's like, one gold
I'll preach death
And he walks in as well, but then Schemo shows up
And he's like, oh, I
I thought this was
Free
That's right, sir, free just for one gold
All proceeds go
Straight to the church of death
Sorry
I'm Schemo
Is T-357 here
Nope
Never heard of T-357
Unfortunately
To get inside of the sermon
You're gonna have to pay the one gold
That goes to the church of death, buddy
Sorry, no, uh
I'm held to my word
Tess, do you feel like you might hear this conversation?
Where do you think you are?
I think I'm on
The first floor and have not gone down
To the basement yet, but I can hear
Bomblin yelling outside
Okay, alright, that's fair
So he's like, alright
Fine, bear man
And he gives you the coin
And he walks on inside
And then
Engelberg honey toast approaches
And he's like
Thank God
This sermon is at night time
But I would not be here
If it was during the day
You see
Jesus, buddy, you got a slur or something?
I do, yes
What gold for free admission?
What?
What line?
Look, you don't have to be rude about it
I'm just saying I'm trying to push the line through
And you're holding it up
Fine, fine
And he gives you the gold and he's like
I wonder how good
You could hear him mumbling as he
Walks past you and he's like
I wonder how good bearkin blood tastes
Greasy is what I've heard
Anyways, next
And then
Rakiki
Gloomingdale
He's like, oh hi
I've realized that three of these characters have the same
Voice, oh hi
It's me, Rakiki Gloomingdale
Wow
She's already like full
Like full white gown and
She's got like golden
Church of the hand crown on
The hand of life
She's like, I'm here to support Rez
And he's, you know, he's
Whatever he's doing
Ah
It's his religion
Technically it's our religion
And Sue could be yours
That's right, only one gold piece
For free admission inside
I think you've stumbled over
Your words, bumbling
But here you go
She's got a gold coin
And then walks through with her tail
Whispering in her coat
And then last not least
To show up
Is the greenhouse woman who lives across the way
Formally named by pizza to death
Florence Flora Fiala
She is a very nice
Short little woman, kind of covered
And you know, she smells like plants
And she's covered in like mildew
Or cow manure, you know
She's got like dirt on her and stuff
And different voice
She's like, hey, um
Yeah, I, uh, you guys saved me
When the fireball thing happened
I just thought I would just come out of courtesy
Get to know my neighbors and what have you
So here you go, and then she
Walks on in as well
Thanks
Here's your pamphlet
We have a full house, so we got
Seven people here
A lot
Voice actors of snondevils? No
I'm just watching right there
Antonio Banderas, yeah
As they all walk in, they
Get their seats on the
Um, crates
And barrels, and Rakiki
She's like, oh, I
Maybe it would be nicer
Okay
She pulls back her skirt and
Sits, like cross legged, all uncomfortable
Like, and you see this happen
Brad
Yeah
Okay, uh, in this moment
Before we begin, T357
Where are you at? What are you doing?
I imagine I have found my way to
A seat close to C-Mode
Okay
And he looks over at you and he's like
Hey
It's, uh, good to see ya, I didn't
Expect you to be here, I didn't know if you followed Raz's
Religion
I tried
My best to understand
Why a religion
Hates someone so much
It's best to be educated
Yeah, you are
Like that, learning everything
Just to, you know, get the information
Of course you would
I think, I think that's cool, I think that's really cool
I'm, uh, excited to be here
As you know, a lot of the gods
You know, they've just been
Decimated from the dragon fire and, um
You know, it's
Good to have community
I guess, I've been alone for a long time
I, I'm sorry
To hear that
You always make it feel like there
Is not such a lonely void that
Is this universe
Well thank you for saying that
T-357
You know, I appreciate that
I do, well I, uh, I also might have
Some info for ya once the whole
Sermon is done, maybe we can talk then
Absolutely
I picked up something recently that you might be interested in
Exciting, exciting
Cool, cool, cool
Alright Raz, all lights on you buddy
Welcome my children, find a seat
Find a seat
Rubble, rubble, rubble, rubble
Rubble, rubble, rubble
Well
You're all here today
To learn about the great faith
We are here to praise
Our ender
Known as Nedbraith
He is known as the ender
Now children
The main reason
People turn to religion is to find out
What happens after we die
Luckily for you
This entire faith is
Centered, uh, centered around
What happens
Well I'm here to tell you it's nothing
Nothing happens
Alright
What people both tend to think about when they
Fade from this existence
Is the souls of others
Forget us as we fade from this world
In a never ending consciousness
Forever flowing
Into the afterlife
I'm not here to convince you that
God exists
I'm doing something much harder
I'm going to convince you that
Nothing exists
Now
Nothing doesn't mean that everything ends
When you pass on to the next world
You are coming to an end
But it is an infinite end
So in a way
It's the beginning of an infinite end
And to drive my point home
I'm going to open up a doorway behind me
Oh, roll me magic
I'll make it an easy roll
This is your sermon, 11
And you get a plus one
Yes, I have a plus one
Oh shit, where's that pop out
There it is, I lost it
Bam
Ah, bam
Okay
30, 20
So I'm opening up a doorway
You said my doorways are always vertical
Can I just cheat this one time
And point it like to the sky
Sure
For visual, yeah
Nailed it, that's right
What's the weather like
In common steel right now
Is it a clear night, I hope it is
Yeah, for sure
Clear
So my doorway is just
Pointing towards the sky
And all you can see is just stars
Hell yeah
Now my children, gaze into this doorway
Notice how many twinkling
Lights you see in the sky
But what I want you to focus on
Is the infinity that's in between
Those stars
There is nothing there
But there is vastly more nothing
Than there is something
That is what awaits you
At the end of your life here
An infinite nothing
But it's not something to be sad about
It's something to be celebrated
Because as you drift on
Into nothingness
You will expand and become more powerful
Than you ever know
Because you will
Too become infinity
Now my children
I would like to open the floor for questions
Because I'm sure you are
Curious about what goes on in this place
Rakiki raises her hand and she says
So
When we pass
We turn into the nothingness
That's what you're trying to say
Yes, that's exactly right
Well, of course in the Church of the Hand
The God of Life
Preaches that
While we are here
We live to blossom and flourish
This world
And the God of Life helps us to do so
With blessings
What does Ned Braith give us?
You get inspiration from Forge
Nice
Ned Braith will give you
Nothing
An infinite amount
Of nothing
Like before
We die after
Just after
Oh no, it's going to be after you die
You'll receive an infinite amount of nothing
But remember
An infinite amount of anything
Is still going to be powerful
And you gotta think
The human sitting in the corner
He raises his hand
You there
Yeah, John Smith
Question
So are we trying to kill people
To like help Ned Braith
Does he want people to die?
Ned Braith does want people to die
And
You shouldn't
Necessarily just kill
Because your religion
Commands it
Because everybody has a set time and place
That you're going to die anyway
But if you feel the inkling to kill people
It's not against this religion
Because it's simply that person's time
That you're choosing to kill
Cool, so like if I were to happen to be
Like a mass murderer
Something like that
Ned Braith would be okay with that
In most cases
But keep in mind that Ned Braith
Will also choose for you to die at one point
And that may come sooner or later
But it doesn't depend on those actions
That you make in that time
You just have to know that you will too die
Okay
Sounds good
And I imagine this is where the vampire raises his goddamn hand
No, T357 has theirs up
Okay
What's up?
It is the deaths
We bring to Ned Braith
That are most praised
Or our own death
That is praised by Ned
Your own death
Is probably most praised
Not probably
It is most praised by Ned Braith
More than the lives that you take from this world
Because now he gets to connect with you on a personal level
As he fairies you to the next plane
So when you die yourself, Ned Braith is very happy
Yes, Boblin
Yeah
So does Ned Braith
Like it when you make more babies
Because then you're bringing more
Life into the world
To make more death?
Yes, exactly
Ned Braith does not have any
Constraints on marital
Things
Or he says he can't have butt sex
He doesn't believe in any of that
So you know, do whatever you like
In the bedroom
He's cool with it
Try your best to make more babies
Whether that's artificially
Or you know, whichever way you want to do it
It doesn't even have to be the same species
Although I've read texts of this one guy
Who was just impregnating like
Everybody back in the day
Ned Braith really liked him
But he's gone now, I think
Anyways
Could have been resurrected as another god or something, I don't know
Whatever
No, Ned Braith always creates
Always praises creation
To be then
Killed later on
It adds to the nothingness
You there in the glasses with the red hair
So if I die
And then I'm brought back to life
And maybe it's hard for me to die again
When I do die
Do I also get to be included in the nothingness
Or is the opportunity of my nothingness
Infinitely already gone
You know, I used to be against people like you
But I think through this faith
I've found that
Even with all your power and immortality
There's still a way for you to
Return to the nothingness
And I think
That's why I'm here
Because I'm here
To return to the nothingness
I mean, all I gotta do is give you some garlic bread
And you're fucked
Oh yes, that is very true
You're not totally immortal
Yeah
So I believe that you can practice this faith with me here vampire
Oh, good to know
The honey bread will be here for you
I mean the honey toast, yes
Okay, that ends my question
I will be allowed to be a part of the
Infinite nothingness
To be one with a community
Of nothingness
I look forward to meeting this Ned Breath one day
For I may suckle on the blood of his teeth
I mean
No, I don't know
I don't know about that one chief
Yeah, okay
Yeah, I'm sure he'll accept you as long as you can die
Because if you can't die
It is heresy
Okay
Alright, final speech Raz
Before we make you make your
Charisma roll
The last thing I want to remind you children of
Is that
We are
A faith of death
But that does not mean
That we can't enjoy life
So I want you to go out there
And in between the days of our next sermon
Live your life to the fullest
Kill, fuck, marry
Or just live
It's up to you to decide
It'll be up to him
When the time comes
Well I don't know if they clap yet or not
Anybody else connecting to this a little bit more than they should
For magic
Yeah, I'm gonna go
I'm gonna go
Yes
Bring it back to old school
That's it, you should be a mass murderer
And a slut and a whore
But
We're starting a real ass cult before we just like
Calm down
Alright, roll me that charisma baby
Now chat remember the better the roll that he makes right now
The more money is gonna go out of the plate to support the business
That's what it's all about
I'm sold to this clan
That's it
Hold on, let me grab my community plate
Alright, go around
You got a 15
Plus your 2 and charisma
Which puts you at 17
Bitcronowl
She's a fucking 950
Cross on
Cheers
Cross on
Holy shit Tosson, thank you buddy for the 950
And Certifiable
Wanted to remind you that you do also have advantage
From the mystics
So
I would like to say
Actually let's bring it into context here
Definitely not John Smith
Who else joined
I didn't write it down
No, I'm so sad for you
Frungle Dungle
Lurgl McGurgles
Is a goblin who's with the mystics
And he says
Believe
And you can feel magic, you get advantage
On your charisma roll Raz
Roll it again
Oh
So a 17
Yep, that ain't a rock
Or a 19
A 19 baby
Alright, that's pretty good
You do succeed, so what I'm gonna do here
There was 7 people in attendance
So you get 7 d6 of gold here
Which is a total of
25 gold pieces going to the plate
As the plate gets passed around
The skull, the skull gets passed around
People all stand up and begin to rabble, rabble, rabble
With each other now that your sermon is done
You can tell you've converted a lot of them
With your beautiful
Religion, a lot of people clap
And they're pretty stoked on it
And a lot of the
Main lane stragglers pretty much leave
Rabble, rabble, rabble, chat
Can we get some rabble, ribles in chat? Thank you Forge
Just copy paste and forge to everybody
Fill it up
People talk amongst themselves
And as the
Communion is kind of starting to come
To a close, T357 you step
Outside to see Schemo
Standing there, he's like smoking
A cigar, and
He sees you and he's like
Yeah, that was a
Good sermon that rasged it
Yeah, I'm not like
Like I said
A religious kind of guy, but
You know, living free
For the day
I'm all about that, you know
It, you know
Eventually you're going to die
So live it up while you can, you know
That sounds, sounds really good
Got to get me one of them books he has
I used to
Look forward to the days where I
Would just pass on
And no longer turn on
But Rez's
Elegant words
Too often make me think that just
Enjoying the time that I am on this
Plane is worth it
Yeah
Yeah, what a lad
So he puts out his
Cigar in his boot and he looks
Up at you, because you're taller than him
He's a gnome after all, he looks up at you
And he like
Says
So now that you've been
You know, communing with these guys
I see a new light
In you, T357, you're almost becoming
Lack of a better word
The woman I believed you could have always
Been and
It inspired me
Hold on, is it
Is Bomblin talking inside?
Mind your business
Anyways, you
Yeah
You're going into something
And it inspired me to
Want to help look for your creator
See if
You know, we could help you
Get finished
And remind me one more time, what was the brand
That you have from your creator?
Pendergast
Pendergast, yeah
See here in Intoxica
There was a
The first line of Warforged that were ever
Created were actually created
Because a transdimensional scooter
Came over and had sex with an ice
Machine and
I met him on Halloween
On feast day, yeah, good guy
Mandroid, there's action figures of him
They're actually selling really good
The prices of those action figures go up
And go down, it's like a stock market for those
Things, I think right now they're only running about
60 gold apiece but a couple months back
I seen them going for 300 so
If you got one, hold on to it
Wait for the market
Anyways, Mandroid
Guy created the first line, which is what
Actually inspired the king to search out
Other creators to make actual
Forged meant for war
Which is how you were created
And
The king you see, he's on his deathbed
And well I've been trying
To find a way to get in contact with him
To see maybe if he knows word of this
Pendergast or
Something like that, to be able to help
You
So I'm working on it
That is so
Thoughtful of you
Yeah, of course
You know, anything for you, you're just out here
Struggling and learning and doing your best
It's inspiring, you know, so
Just keep doing what you gotta do
How industrious
Amongst our facilities
On feast day, I found
Something you might like to mix into
Your potions
What is it?
A merfolk swim bladder
What did you just say to me right now?
Merfolk swim bladder
Oh my god
If you
T357, if you let me take that
I can come back to you
In a week's time with
A possible very powerful potion
As long as my ingredients are at hand
No, I can't take
Something that rare just from you without
Giving you something in return, so if you let me take
That and add it to my collection
I will bring you back something
That has made it worth your while
I do have a request
If you are able
Yeah, yeah, yeah, go ahead
I have also obtained an eye
That allows me to see
Through magic auras
And see truth in magic
I need help
Installing it
Yeah, I can do that for you
Heck, I could do that for you
Right now, do you want to do it right now?
How industrious, shall we consider
It a trade?
Yeah, absolutely
He opens his
Leather jacket he's wearing
And you can see there's a bunch of like tools
And stuff in there
Which you hadn't noticed before
And he pulls one of them out
And it's got like three prongs on it
And he's like, okay, so
This is going to hurt a little bit
But we, I'm actually pretty good at this
I haven't told you about this before
But I'm pretty good at this
But so just lean back against the wall
And he grabs
A little stool that was there
And steps up on it to get up to your level
And he's
Going to begin this procedure
Now he's, I'm going to go ahead and roll a d20
And we're going to take some damage
Maybe physical damage to who you are
Or whatever, but I don't think he would fail
He's pretty damn good at this
Kind of thing
I'm going to say
He's got a plus two in dex
This one I'm going to say
It's a 21
Thank God
And you could hear it
In your head
As he grabs your first
Eye, you could hear it
It's like
And he pulls it out
And he's like, it's awesome
And he looks at you in your one eye
And he's like
Are you going to need this?
Consider it extra
Actually I love this face you're doing right now
Let's get a zoom on that
Okay, sounds good
He puts it in his pocket and he grabs the other one
And he reaches his fingers into your eye socket
And pulls out like a little
Cable, and you could feel it like
And he connects it to the eye and he goes
Here we go
And he
How does it feel?
It feels like you didn't even rip it out
Ah, that's good
Well here
And he's going to try to cast a spell
It's an 11
He fails, he goes, well here
Maybe not right now, but you know, give it a try
Later on today
Thank you
You're very welcome
Yeah, I'm going to
Head back to my place now
I'm going to get this ladder sealed up
Nice and safe
And I'm going to send
Probably a snake if I get any information for you
Soon, alright?
Keep an eye for that
An eye for that
Any bounces
Okay, and then we cut back inside
To you Raz and Boblin
Is everyone beginning to leave?
Is there anything you want to talk to before this whole thing ends here?
I think we're K.K.
Okay
Hi
Same voice
Hello, I um
It was very good, it's um
Yeah, you did a good job
Your place here definitely needs some work
But I think I understand what you're
What you're going for, I do
Well good, I mean
I'm glad you liked it
But you know, I'd like to get you converted over as soon as possible
Not yet
But you know, very soon
Maybe you can come to one of my sermons sometime
And we'll see
We can, you know, we can relate
Maybe, somehow
Maybe
Yeah, yeah, live for the day
I like that
I like that a lot
Yeah, now you never um
Told me
Does your religion um
I guess you did tell me
I was basically going to ask you if you were celibate
But you're not, are you?
Well
I'm not celibate by choice
At the moment
Right, what?
I'm not celibate by choice
At the moment
Right, what?
I'm not celibate by choice
By choice
I'm a virgin
That explains so much
It makes so much sense
No wonder you're so angry
All the time and trying to kill people
Can I
That's not too bad
She leans in real close, she goes
Can I tell you a secret, Mr. Sanders?
Sure
It is also I
Who is a virgin
You're a virgin?
Shut up
I lived my whole life in a
Church, dummy, what do you think?
Oh yeah, I guess that makes sense
Yeah
Anyways
Maybe one day we can amend that for now
I'm going to return home
Please, send a letter
If you're thinking of me
And she
Whips her tail and her white gown flourishes
As she is the last to leave
Successful sermon
Max me on accident
Yeah, oh
Sorry, sorry
She's flirting
I was really nervous about roleplaying this whole damn sermon
But I actually think it went really fucking well
So yeah, good job buddy
That was a lot of fun
You liked it
Yeah
So you guys return upstairs now
You're finally going to get to rest
Oh my goodness before
Of course if you want to
Tomorrow you'll be going out to search for the
Nimble Rite
So while you are resting in your homes, is there anything specific
You want to be doing during this
Long rest here
I am trying out my new eye
Oh shit
Is that what you were doing
Yes
It's pretty cool dude
We're going to need some new art
So cool
Oh six and four
Hell yeah
Everybody's listening on the podcast
T357 put in a
Beautiful contact for their eye
Well no, they just
They can't see it
They can't see their eye
They exchanged eyes, it's cool
It's very very dope
Church will always be more interested in making more life
Oh
Maybe that's why it's as easy as it is
Okay, trying a new eye
Anything before you take long rest
Can I write a letter and have it sent
Yes
Fantastic
I would like to write
The Mystics of Mana
Secret double agent
Bumble in here
Coming to you from the
Deep dark depths of the
Church of Death's headquarters
I want to let you know
That I have perfectly infiltrated
The Iron Heads and now they see me
As one of their members
Proceed with caution
Please send in new instructions
For a quest upon
For Bumble and Barlow
Okay
Hell yeah
Alright, you can just
So you have a cage
Of flying snakes that were
Provided by the Legion
So you could use one of the flying snakes
Or you can try to make me an animal
Handling role to wrangle yourself a bird
And send it off that way
No, no, I am definitely
Going to use the Legion's
Flying snakes delivery system
To send this letter to the
Mystics
Okay, alright
You do that buddy, I love that
Good shit, uh, couch coin, Bumble
There should be couch coins all around tonight
What a big ol' roleplay session we're having tonight
Okay
Raz, anything you want to do
During this long rest?
Uh, well
Before I retire
Um, I've uh
Lowered my mask you see
And I'm just gonna stand in front of the
Mirror in my bedroom
And stare
And repeat to myself
I've done it
I've started this church
You have?
I will help these people see their way
To the great god of death
You really have
I forgot that was a huge achievement
For you buddy, congrats
You've done it
Goodbye horses starts playing
Do I still have that music up?
Wait, the church of death music?
There was music playing
While I was saying all that
I'll just zoom in on my face
Yeah, that song was called
Gazing Stars is what it was
Cause you open the portal to the stars
Which by the way, it's still open
By the way
It's still open down there
I'm gonna go
You know where that portal is?
It's at the top of the tower
At the church of life
Right outside
That nimble rights room
So he heard some of the sermon too
Hey
Hell yeah
Would you preach me? I'd preach me
Alright
Test anything you would like to do
Well, during this long rest
I would just like to
Sit silently
In my closet
Quietly contemplating
Where I came from
And how grateful I am for my
Cherished friendships
Within the legion preparing themselves
Fuck yeah, badass
Hell yeah
Alright boys
And Frodeus
You guys sleep for the night
It's a nice sleep that you have
You are awoken to the hustle and bustle
Of the town, people walking amongst the
Streets, people slamming hammers
King, king, king
Hear out your window, birds chirping
Chickens, roosters, cows, pigs
This is fantasy world baby
And it is a hustle of a bustle of a city
You guys are awoken
You meet back together in the common room
Before you head out together on your mission
To find the nimble right
And as you head off, are there any items
You want to leave behind when you go on this mission
Here in your building
Excuse me
God yes
Okay
Let's see what I got
And I can actually write it down here for you
If you want to actually
Remove space
I would like to
Get rid of my small tent
Okay
Yeah, I don't want to get rid of my
Avengers pack
Okay
And I'm also going to get rid of this dumb
Hurdy-Gurdy that I've been
Tugging around with me and not
Fucking using
Hanging above the bar
Is it too late?
For the furniture
The furniture part of the
Furniture part of the Richiners can see themselves
Amid the darkness
That's fun certifiable
Go ahead, test
I would like to leave behind my
Miner's pack
Alright, Fomlin
I'm going to
Leave behind my witch's skull
Okay
And my scroll
Is produced water
And my whole trick-or-treat
Bucket
Alright
Anything else?
That's it
I would also
Finally like to leave behind the
Adjustable stilts
Nice
Okay
Alright
Is that it?
Also, why are you home?
I actually
I'm going to leave behind my book of
The Grove
Book of the Grove, gotcha
Everybody listening
Home, this system is very items based
These guys only have
They're supposed to only have 20 item
Slots they can carry and
Only 10 of those can be equipped at a time
So they're kind of limited
Alright, test
I have 10 more than
Everyone else
I know, I know
While we are home, can I exchange
My 5 gems worth
100 gold each for fixing
Up the tavern the rest of the way
5 gems worth 50 gold each
That's 250, right? Is that all we have left?
It was 5 gems
Worth 100 gold each
Oh, that's
500, yeah
Yeah
We'll kind of say you leave them behind
And we'll do a little bit of roleplay
And stuff when that happens, we'll talk about who you talk to
And everything else like that
Because we still need to decide if we're going to
The gambling hall, right?
Yeah, possibly
The problem is, is I'm not allowed to keep any
Of my monies
So I have to hide the fact that I have
Monies
Or the robot's
Gonna take my fucking money
Yeah, so there's 500 left
And then after that you pay per 10 day
So 50 gold for maintenance
And 10 gold
For guild expenses
Maintenance and hireling is what the 50 gold is for
So if you want to hire people to run the bar
To run the gambling tables, etc
That's what it is
So, cool, so you've paid it off so you can furnish it now
And we'll talk more about that later
We're gonna move forward now, you ready?
Are we ready?
Ready to rock
Yeah, alright
I thought we were sleeping
The sleeping's done, Bamla
Sleeping's done, yeah
We're awake now, about to leave
And we're leaving items
Okay
You three
Leave out your homes
To the bright hustle and bustle
And daylight of the
City, I'm gonna change backgrounds now
Because it's no longer night time, we're in the city now baby
Let's do it
When the lights
Go down
In the city
Mmhmm
Beautiful
Alright
Step out of the hustle and bustle
And you guys begin
To track down this
Nimble right
You pull out your
Item
And you click it
And it spins slowly
Jjjj
And you start walking in a direction
You walk back in another one, you're trying to track
Go ahead
I have an idea
Alright, give it to us
I'd like to
Open a doorway
Mmhmm
Roll me magic
Oh yeah
That is an 18
Nice, you succeed
Also, new day, new target
We're going down to 13
Alright, you succeed
Which side of the city is
The life of Church on?
Um
The north
The north?
So, what side
Of the city is that guy's mansion we went to?
Like
North, east
Okay, I'm opening the portal
There
And I'm going to stick
My hand through with the device
And click it
I love this
And it spins a little bit faster
Jjj
Okay, great
I'm going to open up another portal
Roll me magic
Jjj
I didn't think
This is so smart, dude
14
This is a success
17
Alright, where does it go?
I'm going to open up a portal
In front of
Shit, where's another place that I know of
That I've been to
Oh yeah
Yeah, that's in the south
Okay, I'm going to open it there
Alright
You open it there
And
As you stick your hand through
It's like, jj
Jj
Okay, we can
But, as you open your portal and you stick
Your hand through, you see
Tequila standing outside with
Flyers, and you can see as you look
Through the portal, on the wall, it says
Wanted
For ritualistic sacrifices
And it's a drawing of you
And he's putting these drawings
Up on the wall of his tavern
And he's like, hey, hey
Hey
And he tries to run
Close portal
Jjj
Jj
Holy shit
Let's open up another portal
This one is going to be
Well, I have to make sure it opens first
Yeah, make sure it opens first
What other places are to the north?
Yeah, it's a 9
Plus 3
Yeah
That's a fail, that's a 12, you fail
Shit
Well, you're just going to keep doing it over and over anyway, right?
So, it's fine
You succeeded twice, so it's fine
To the north, so you've been
To the west, you've been in the dock ward
A little bit, because you were over there
During the Legion
The Black Network hideout, you were there
Also the shopping centers over to the west
Up to the north, you encountered
The mayor standing on the box, and you went through
That secret hideout, so you've been up to the north
And just kind of like
Central north, this is where the Church of Life is
To the northeast
Is actually where Bomblin's been, in the cemetery
And where the
Manor is
Down south is where the tavern
Is, and where the entrance to Common Steel City is
Where you guys have been before
I'm trying to think about where else you've been
Where is that farm with the cows?
That is like
Far
West, like southwest
We need like north
Oh no, sorry, sorry
That's far northwest
Is what that is
Okay
Well, we started picking up
Little more turns when we
Did northeast
So straight north
I want to try opening up a portal
Like somewhere near the hideout
For Legion is
And
Poking it through there, and where is it at?
Hold on one second
You're not going to have it
Oh, there we go
As you're standing there opening portals
And these guys are just watching you
Bomblin, you're spacing off and looking in the sky
And T357, you start to see the crowd
Around you and the city kind of get a little stressed
They're like, what's going on?
They're like, ah, and some of them just start like running
Into their buildings and their houses and stuff
And then you hear, up above
This isn't what I wanted at all
That's not it at all
Hold on one second
Above
Up above a world so high
Like a diamond in the sky
It's closer
And you look up in the sky
And you can see what looks to be
What looks to be
A brass dragon
Shiny and bronze
It's a brass dragon
And it keeps flying overhead
Towards the west, it doesn't stop
Now it wasn't like an adult dragon
But it was fairly large
Well, shit
That was a really good sound effect
Yeah, it was, and it came in at a good time too
Because as soon as you said brass dragon
It was like, hurrah
Yeah, that was really good
Uh, let's see
Well, shit, do we want to go find out
What the fuck that's about
Or do we want to keep doing our thing
Well, I mean, he's heading towards the west
Maybe we should go to the northwest just to see what happens
Yeah
Y'all want to go and fight the dragon?
I don't want to fight the dragon
But maybe it has something to do with the nimble right
With that, you know, stone that we need
Well, that's barely
Calling it the dragon's song
Like, coincidental
Okay, well, I'm going to open up a portal
At the farm where the scarecrow was
Okay
Can I prep the spell?
Uh, you can
Yeah, you stick it out
And the same like in the
You're prepping it
Same like in the south
It barely ticks
So the furthest it moves is in the northeast
Oh, wait, I thought you said it was northwest
Yeah, yeah, yeah
So it's like the same in the south
It barely moves
In the northeast
Hmm
Well, let's go to the graveyard, y'all
Wait, have I been to the graveyard?
You have not
Oh, you guys don't want to go there
There's a real chatty catty there
That just won't leave you the fuck alone
Oh, whatever
I'm going to open up a portal
In the front of the
Mansion that we went to
Cool
You do that, but also
The fire was a good idea
Well, hi, Suni, what's up, dude?
Will you explain your new eye power to all of us?
Just so we know exactly how it works
Absolutely
My eye is called the eye of the beholder
This glass eye
Can be installed with a physician's help
She heat
Magical auras and truth
And illusion magic
With a hard intelligence roll
You can even get a glimpse
Through walls, doors, or even gates
It's pretty sick
Pretty sick
Hell yeah
Fuck your old magic
You open a portal in front of the
Manor, and as you step out, you see this
Remnants of
Some kind of an explosion
That had happened here
Maybe a day or so before
The gate is just shattered
Everywhere, there's just like
Blood all about
There's no bodies, but
It's like this whole place is just decimated
Raz, you're getting an item
That's cool
While I'm getting this item, you know what I'm gonna do?
What?
I'm gonna plant a glyph
Right on where this
Explosion happened
Because you know where you never
Expect an explosion to happen?
Where an explosion
Already happened
Alright
Go ahead and roll it for me
Before I roll mine, roll yours, go ahead
Thanks for the item also, Suni, we'll see what it is
That is a 13
13, you succeed
You plant your
Your rune, here we go, we're rolling on the chart
This is a bizarre loot
By the way, this is what you got
Rubber treasure
A collection of fake coins
Jewels and bobbles made of resin
That's what you get
From Suni
Did I find this on the ground or something?
Sure, yeah
Did Boblin see it?
Mmm
Boblin roll me a 20
Wisdom, wisdom perception
Yeah, he's seen it
He knows what it is
Well, Boblin, I guess you could use this
Oh, nevermind
Maybe not
Or Suni
They all hate me
Yeah, he's seen it
Look away
Well, Boblin, I found some counterfeit money
I'm sure that could help you do something
Later on
You want it?
I would love to counterfeit monies
There you go
Thanks
Add it to your inventory, Boblin
Rubber treasure
You step to the portal, you plant your rune
And then all three of you begin walking
To the east
You have your detector out
And you just keep walking
To see
As far as you can get
Right? Until it starts to slow down
What I would like you to do is make me an intelligence roll
To see if you
I mean, you're eventually going to get there
But I want to see how long it's going to take you to follow this thing
How well you're kind of understanding it
It's basically an insight
Ah
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
God I hate you
Ha ha ha ha ha ha
Get fucked
What is your mastery points even at?
Hold on, let me tell ya
One, two, three
I'm at uh
I'm at fourteen mastery points
I'm six off from doing a mastery thingy
That's fucking bullshit, I have five
I have
Three, eat a dick
Raz also does a lot of stuff
He gets to roll more dice cause he's constantly
Doing portals and all that other shit like
Constantly, I think he's rolled twice the amount of dice
As you guys
Okay
So, it guides you directly
Not to the cemetery
But as you pass by the cemetery
Boblin you see
Old Jenkins and he goes
Hey
Hi
It's a Boblin guy
How's your adventure going Boblin?
He's like yelling at you from the street
Hey
It's going
Hey, I know him
I know this guy
Boblin
Ah, the chatty fellow
You were speaking about Boblin
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Boblin
What?
Hey
You gotta
We're all gonna die
Alone Boblin
But
Yeah
If you try hard enough maybe
You won't die alone
There'll be people by your side Boblin
I doubt that
What is your gravestone gonna say huh?
Loved
Fucking killer of
Gravekeepers here soon
Sure, sure Boblin
Sure
Watching you Boblin
I like that
Keep fucking watching
Take a picture asshole
I hate this guy
Do I see anything interesting
When seeing the graveyard
We also got your letter
Oh, make me an intelligence roll
Do you have to make an intelligence roll every time?
No, only to see through
Walls
Okay, yeah
So whenever you want to activate it just shout it out
As you look at the graveyard you can see
Behind the gravekeeper
An intense heat of magic
All in the trees
Probably the most intense
Level of magic that you have seen
Ever
This is the first time you've used the eye
So maybe it's a little normal to you
You're like oh maybe it always looks this way
But in reality this is the most
Intense magic behind the gravekeeper you've ever seen
Also
Emanating off of the gravekeeper himself
Is a level of magical energy
As well as the shovel he's holding
He's like Boblin
Boblin
We got your letter Boblin
Good
Do you want to talk about it now?
Fucking sure
I'm a good closer so we're not yelling at each other
Wait are you with the Legion people
Right now?
No we're just
Walking in the same
Direction
You sure you don't want to talk about it later?
I'll be right back
You know, fame is good for me
Totally not suspicious at all
Boblin
You walk over and he's like
Hey
You're gonna kill me are you?
No
You said
You're gonna kill the gravekeeper
Of course I say a lot of things
I gotta uphold my image in front of the Legion nerds
Oh so that is them
He looks over you guys are just standing in the street like
Ugh
He's like okay
Meanwhile I am just staring intently at the gravekeeper
Cause I've never witnessed this much magic
Hell yeah
That's all you are
We got your letter
You've infiltrated the Iron Heads and the Legion huh?
Uh
I wouldn't necessarily call it
Infiltrated the Legion
Just uh
Inappropriately
Associated with the Legion
Aye
Well the deal is
Uh
We mystics uh
We've heard some things
And um
We have just been raided
I wonder who it's from
Hi it's Perception Studios
Hi guys
Mark Weirke
Welcome to the situation thank you for the follow
Uh hello
This is not a test oh it's not a test
Everybody
This is not a test
Welcome friends thank you so much for rating into us
You guys are shaking rock
This is badass thank you so much for rating us
We are the Grouch Couch
And tonight we are streaming uh
Love Death and Dice
Which is our long form campaign
Oh
That's a good time for this to happen
Uh oh
Why? Why right now?
I need your new motherboard
Nooooooo
Nooooooooo
No
It's all downhill
From here
It's all downhill y'all
Welcome in guys
Boop boop boop boop
Boop boop
Boop boop boop boop
Boop boop boop
Boop boop
Boop boop boop boop
It hasn't even shown me dancing yet
It wasn't my fault
That time
That time wasn't my fault
That time was Streamlabs fault
Alright that wasn't my fault that time
I swear
Y'all don't have to believe me it's fine
The front of my computer is over here also don't look at that
You know
Don't look at that
I didn't take it apart while it was gone
Um
I'm not working again
I will always bring Streamlabs
Alright boys and girls
Are we ready to finish this fucking shit off?
Hehehehehe
It's not an Acer Predator
No it's not
Okay
Welcome back everybody
If you're watching somewhere like on YouTube
Or something like that and this is weirdly
Chopped up have no fear
We are just
Turkey's computer needs some work alright
We're back now and thank you so much for
Hanging in there with us we appreciate you all
Ain't that right chat? That's damn right
Whoooo
And it'll never happen again
It's gonna happen a couple more
Times until I fix this
Damn thing but I'm going to
I'm going to
Okay
Where were we? Hey
What is this? A gift from the gods?
Oh Proteus
$20 for the computer
Fucking donation what the heck
Proteus thank you for donating to the dang old
Computer fund
I love you girl thank you
From one computation
To another get your shit fixed
Hell yeah
I love the iSwitch
The iSwitch that's right
I need to get me a fucking Schemo
The iSwitch is good too because you can actually see more of the difference now
It's wonderful
My mom just unsubscribed on YouTube
Hey
Hey Boblin
Where'd you go?
Ow
I was right here the whole time you're the one that was
Buffering
That's true I did buffer there for
A little bit and I apologize
About that hey listen closely here Boblin
I'm going to get through this real quick because
We had a few minutes to role play but that few minutes
To role play is gone now so check it out we're doing
Real story stuff Boblin Barlow
We received your letter
And it seems to us that
The Legionnaires and the Iron Heads are going after a stone
It's called the Stone of
Glore have you heard of it?
Oh the
Glorious stones?
Yes that one now look
If you bring that stone to us
Instead of doing whatever you might
Do with it we want to use it
To help return balance
Boblin
Right balance to the
Force right?
So you bring it to us Boblin we
Will gift you magical power
Alright now this is
What I'm talking about
Yes now remember Boblin
Now I've done all this work for you guys
Where's my free sword?
Well you haven't done anything yet when you
Get the stone Boblin
Free free sword?
No
Yes
Now remember Boblin
We're all gonna die
But if you work hard enough you won't die alone
Okay are you sure you're
Not gonna die alone?
Yes
Alright
Anyways
Thanks
You're welcome
Alright
Later
Are we buffering? Moby are we buffering?
Doesn't look like we're buffering on my side
No
Good
Maybe he was referencing something before
Alright good you return back to the
The lads Boblin
I want us to go more in depth with that but that's what you get
That's what you get you can blame
The computer for that Gladys
She needs upgrades
Damn you Gladys
Now you return back to the lads
You're back
You alive?
I am
You look down at your spindle-y spindle
And
The spindle-y spindle is
Spinning really really fast
You walk past
The graveyard and down a little
Ways and you see
Looks to be an old
Busted shack
And next to that shack there is
An alleyway
And next to that alleyway there is
Another old busted shack this is the west side
Homie
And your spindle-y spindle
Is guiding you somewhere in between
This is the east side homie
And your spindle-y spindle
Is guiding you in between some of these
I thought we were off the north side
One of these two houses
What do you do Raz?
Um
Well I'd like to get close
To the one on the left with the spindle
Alright
So it uh
Whichever way you go it keeps the same
Intense speed
Like it's somewhere in this area
Oh
Okay
Well in that case
No they're like clockwork robots
Gift a potion
The bodily honey for
Bumbling
Oh how dang cute
How dang cute
Oh also I think Raz don't you have a potion
That um will either heal you to full
Health or give you a
Intense orgasm
Yes that is something
I have that I don't think right now
Is the right scenario for me to use
Maybe you never know
Thanks for the
Honeymoby alright Raz
You leading the party would you like Proteus to make
A decision with their eye I mean test
Well you could take a look at the buildings and see if
You could see through them
Do me an x-ray
Check you could make me a hard
Roll with intelligence
That's a 16 you're gonna have
To beat
Oh no
You can see 16
On the die
That's a 3
You try you try real hard
That would have been badass too you try real hard
You're like mmm scanning
The whole area you can see like
Start to see through things and then it kind of
Fizzles you're gonna have to try
Reroll
To mess with your eye a little bit more oh maybe
Maybe it does work thanks Moby this is gonna be badass
If she succeeds come on Proteus one
Success tonight at least one
Come on god yes
Yes
Finally the robot does something
One single
Success for the warforged
Do something test
Let's go everybody
Can we just hide and chat for 2 3 5 7
You scan through the whole house
Thank you Moby
As your eye begins to scan through the house
You can see through the wooden flooring
And see just how messed up and old and
Decrepit a lot of these houses are
On the inside there's old messed up furniture
Maybe some decaying paintings on the walls
You scan the first house
You scan the left house and you can see
Maybe like a homeless man sleeping in the right house
And along with more
Busted up furniture and then your eye
Gaze towards the center and you can
See underneath piles of
Trash behind
Makeshift dumpsters there seems
To be something lying
In the air
Towards the garbage
Yes in the alley
The garbage you say
Bing bong
Well you know what this calls for
You guys to stay back
Huff huff huff huff huff huff
You run up the alleyway
I also forgot whenever we played this last
Each character that you try to explode on
Gets to make a defense roll
And I didn't do the defense rolls because you were like
Hugging them and grabbing them and I just thought it was perfect
But when you do the
Explosion the character does have the chance to make a
Defense roll
You should remember that
She said pile of trash so I'm going to
Dive into the first pile of trash that I see
On the other side of this thing
Alright as you're running down the alleyway
Your loud footsteps
Bump bump bump
A nimble right comes busting out of the trash
Shhh
And garbage goes everywhere and it looks
Directly at you and you can see it's
Burnt and charred and
Kind of like covered in a little bit
Of sewage and it smells real bad
And it's wearing a cloak
That goes back behind it's back
But it's holding out a sword as you
Come running and it's like
Shhh
And then as I'm running towards him
I'm going to go
I'm going to go like this
Oh call him a fuck ass
Alright everyone roll me initiative let's go baby
Let's go
I said surprise
I said surprise fuck ass and sign language
Surprise!
Fuck ass
Nice dude
11 and 11
Who has the higher decks here?
I got it there
We were rolling with decks for
Initiative?
Whenever people get um
Whenever two people get the same number
I want a bunch of nubs
And whenever two people get the same number
You always whoever gets to go
First is always the person with more decks
Yeah
Well that's 12
Alright it looks like
Bonlin's going first wait reroll for Connor
Connor didn't even roll yet roll it again
Ah
Yes
Supper rises
Supper does rise grouchy monster
Ha ha
God I hate you
But also the nimble ride
Nope nimble ride
Got an 11
Okay Raz
You get to go first
Well since I'm a head of everybody else
They should be out of range
Yeah
And I'm just gonna sprint dead towards the fucker
And blow up
Okay
And the way that this magic works
Is you don't have to make a magic roll
But they do get to make a defense roll right?
Yeah I think so
Okay
This bad boy has a
Plus four defense
That's a nine
Dang it they still fail
Ah
Yeah alright roll me your explosion
Damage um
So does Raz still drink
Since he signed Moby's
Standard band word with sign language
Oh you still signed the band word
Oh
I don't know that's kind of
Interesting rolling that we've never had to play around with before
I mean we make chat
Have to do it yeah
We make chat do it
You did also say that
Yeah
Look at that
Coming in hot Moby's starting his own
Fucking set of rules and chat and shit
Get exploded
Idiot
So for everybody who maybe doesn't know the way this spell works
Do you want to just explain it for us before you roll
So we know what's going on
Alright with no roll overload your power
And explode sacrifice any amount of
HP add to
2d12 damage
I am going to sacrifice
5 of my HP
Because I have an extra 5 thanks to
The Legion ring
Ha ha
So 5 plus 2d12
Gift an item
Ooh Moby
30 oh 6
I was like Jesus Christ
6 that'll do
So it's 11 total
11 total damage
Alright
You run up the alleyway Raz
Footsteps cling and he jumps out
Extends sword at you, signs at you
You sign back and then you explode right in front of him
Red mist and black fog
Explode out of your body
Just shattering all over him blowing
Some of the like muck from the sewage
And some of the debris off of him
And he
Looks back at you
After taking the damage and
Eyeballs you with his one
Spinning nimble right eye
Like mmmmmmm
T357
You know
I'll f- after I see
Hey you better drink Moby, you said the bad word
And also
Would you like us to roll for your item before your turn or after?
Let us roll before
But I would like to use my ring of invisibility
I just don't remember
How to activate it
Alright it is in the old chat here
And you can drag and drop it on your character sheet
But what it says is
Make a wisdom check to activate it
And you get to remain invisible for 1d4 rounds
How industrious
That's what we need, we need an emote if you're saying that
Wisdom check 15
Success
You succeeded on two rolls, congratulations
You guys can't sit still for too long
Because it's giving me PTSD
Y'all just
Y'all just gotta move around a whole bunch
I don't know what you keep saying, where is the mask
But I don't- even Reverend Raz
Has his mask off
Alright two rounds
And your magical item
Rolling a d6 first
Thank you Moby
Is a 3
1, 2, 3, that's epic loot
Roll
That's an 85
Or 58 which is Gnomish
Metal melter
Item, 1d4 rounds
Reach full power
Vaporizes near metal
Objects
What?
Jesus Christ you just became a
Shmelter
So it takes 1d4 rounds
To charge
And then after it charges
In my mind I picture it shoots out like a
Beam
Or do you think area effect
T357
I imagine this is gonna be like an expansion
To your warforged body, what do you think?
Yes
I would like to use it as an augment
Much like my sifter and I
Nice
Do you think it'll be like a beam
Or like an area effect
Because you might be able to hit
More with an area effect
I think area of effect
You might also hit things you don't mean to
Hit is it says all metal
So it's up to you
It's like target
This would be useful in this scenario
I think you'll be fine, you'll be fine, I think it's like out from you
Right, so you're okay
Yes, I think an area of effect
That is localized to
The front of my body, outward
Like a V
Cool, alright
It's badass, okay
Indeed, deal terms, you know we call that
The cone
You're reminding me of
Kind of like an old Greg thing going on
Where it's like
Would you like to see
My downstairs mix up
Wow, everybody wants to see your robot cooters
What kind of smoke is that
Oh shit
Oh
I also got a shout out
Moby just totally
Shouted out a really old
Grouch couch activation
Mmm
Cowboy butts make me go nuts
Tell me you
Remember that, Connor, come on
Yeah, I do actually
Cowboy butts make me go nuts
You're splitting a sword in half
Cowboy butts make me go nuts
Yeah, that's so good
So good
Okay, well now
It's your turn, you have your item
You've activated invisibility for two rounds
So I can actually do this for you
I'll make you invisible
What would you like to do
I would like to move around
So the nimble right is where exactly now
Still right in front of Raz
I would like to make my way
Oh, fantastic, this is lovely
Make your way, drink
Ow
Yeah
It's a long running joke here for you guys who don't know
If you ever say make your way
Drink
It's the number one said thing in D&D ever
I would like to maneuver around
Behind Raz
In front of Raz
And maybe try to catch the nimble right by its neck
Oh, sick, okay
I'm gonna grab it, you are invisible
So what I can say
Grappling in this system is contested strength
But you can do it with advantage
Since you're getting them by surprise
It's not advantage in the system
You get to make it an easy roll, so you only gotta beat a ten
Or you don't get to be
No, cause it's contested
So you get it with advantage
What is your assassin ability
What does it do
Oh, cause they can't see you
And attack cannot miss
It's true, but it's a grapple
So it still has to be contested strength
But you could attack instead
Up to you
Alright, so you can hit it with advantage
And I'm just gonna roll for him once
And he has
What does he have for strength
That's a three, thank god
He's got a plus three on strength, so that's a six
In that case, can I
One moment
That's cool
All these robot jokes, the floppy disk
Does not fit into the ram hole
You got it
Hope Raz's cousin doesn't get caught in that area
Raz's coins, oh shit
Yeah, my coins are my necklace
True, yeah
I don't know why I read cousin, I was like
Raz has a cousin?
Then may I use my blade of return
And hug it at the nimble right
And attack instead
Instead of grappling
Badass you can, yeah
Absolutely, that thing's cool as hell
So you'll roll a dexterity
To hit the nimble right
But your attack can't miss
Because he can't see you
So you just get to
Roll me some damage
And he's gonna hit you
So you're gonna have to roll me some damage
And your knife returns to you automatically
After it hits, but roll me damage first
And then we'll go ahead and do that
And the knife is just a normal knife, right
So it's just a d6, full six damage
Baby
Yeah, so you
Step to the side, invisible
With Raz, you look up the alleyway, you see this
Rusted up nimble right
And you just hug your dagger right at it
And as it leaves your body
It turns visible
And then flies and hits it
And then it
Returns to you and re-goes
Visible
So this
Dagger came out of nowhere and just went right
Back and it's like
It looks around like what the fuck
Just happened
What the fuck
Alright, now does that end your turn?
Do we recognize this
As the nimble right that we are
Looking for? Yes
We have seen it a couple of times
Yeah
100%
So maybe not kill it, you might wanna
Derogate it or something
You know, I don't know
Just saying, or maybe not
You could also just kill it
This is, hey, there ain't no railroading around here
Baby, y'all can do whatever you want
Alright
Okay, it's going to make its attack now
It turns mad
Muck drips off of it
Its arm now
Almost falling off from the dagger
The gears are spinning and grinding
It puts its sword into its other hand
And then it lunges out at Raz
And tries to hit you with a sword, Raz
It's got that plus three strength
Go baby
A ten doesn't hit you, does it?
Dice face
I think so
I had to play that against my defense, right?
Yeah, yeah, you're AC
Yeah, I'm at a 13, brother
Alright, so he lunges and misses
And then it turns and it goes
And it starts signing
Do you
Raz, you don't understand sign language, huh?
Not very much
No, but I can get bits and pieces of it
Okay
As you're standing right in front of it
And you as well, T357, you can see it
Both of you guys just roll me intelligence
To see if maybe somewhere
Because T357, you take memory of things
As a part of who you are
Maybe you haven't taken in sign language
Maybe you can understand something
Nope
Both of you get nothing out of it
Bomblin, it's your go
What do you do?
Get in the hole, says Forge
Yeah, if I touch the thing
I'll probably kill it
She's back
No, if we were going to kick it into anything
We'd kick it into Legion headquarters
Can I just go and like
Run up the alleyway
Yeah
And then
Grab a garbage can that's outside
And like put it on top of him
Try to pin him down with a garbage can
Scrap him
Yeah, let's do contested strength
Let's do it
It's got plus three
Against Bomblin
Who also has plus three
Fuck, he got a two, so he has a five
No eyes, oh yeah, you got the plus four now, huh?
Eleven
So you grab a trash can
Trash comes all out of it
And just
Knock it down to the ground
And hold the trash can on it
And it's like wiggling its gears
What do you do?
Yeah
I'm gonna like
Just like take out the trash can
And hold it
Like grab it
Alright, nice
Did you say anything to it?
Aha, I caught you
More like
Not nimble, right?
Haha, yeah
Haha
Grrr
Alright, uh
What do we do with it, guys?
You want it?
You think you can open the portal?
It uh
You guys are standing there debating
It's like light is fading
From its eyes
It's a fumble rung now
There you go
It's light fades from its eyes as it rocks back and forth
And then it reaches down into its
Cloak
And it pulls out a piece of parchment
And it holds out a piece of
Parchment
I take it
Alright
I read it?
You open it up
And
It looks like a map
Err
Map, map, map
Map
It depicts what seems to be one of
Common Steel's wards
You can see
Written on the map is an X
With a name next to it
The map
The name on the map
Is
Grinda
Garloth
Okay
And it
Signs to you a little bit
Fomlin, you haven't made an
Intelligence save against signing yet
Maybe you understand sign language, make me an insight
I fucking doubt it
Hey dude
The only sign language I know is
Every
Get a 4D
You don't understand a lot of it
But you do understand some of the things that it says
And some of the things that
It signs out with its broken arm
And its other arm that's like
Fiddling with its hands
Is it
It says basically
Don't understand why you're attacking me
It delivered the stone
Where it was supposed to go
Here's the map
Of where I took it to
I don't understand why you're attacking me
I did what I was supposed to do
Fuck you
You threw a knife at me asshole
Do these guys know that
That's what they're signing
Considering they've planned their intelligence checks
No, I've already given them
The information Moby
It's way too late, I already told them the info
Good try though buddy
I would have loved that, good try though
Just kidding, you don't know any of that
They don't understand any of it
Just you
Interesting
Yeah
Can you guys believe
That this guy might know
Where the glorious stones are at
Yeah
It was on Department
No
Departments just
Just an old reservation for a nice
Fancy diner
In town that I will be taking myself
Okay Bob
On this one I'm gonna need you to make me a deception
You're gonna have to roll us a charisma
You're gonna have to
Against your fellow
Copatriots, that's a five
I'm gonna use my advantage
From Thacko
Alright
Good to know where it went huh
Yep, this one's for you Thacko
Deceive the party
Moby said can that reroll go for that
Sure Moby
Alright
Now I can go for that
Is it connected
Maybe there's a little bit of information on Departments
Moby said
You can take his reroll
Now I've already told them
Now I just look like an asshole
Rolling dice
Cause I got a nine
And also an eight
I'm not fooling these guys
Sorry Moby, I mean thanks Moby
We know, you're full of it
Alright I'm sorry
I just, I need the stone
I need the glorious stones
For what
I'm not in this
For faction purposes
Duh
Mike how you owe
$250,000
Yeah I owe $250,000
Not a glorious fucking stone robot
We ran out of time
You got a plus one that still makes it a ten
Which isn't enough
Or the stone will be a valuable trade towards your debt
A valuable trade towards my debt
Yeah
That's not what I planned on spending it on
Spending it on
14
Sunni 14
But it's way too late I feel
It's way too late
It's way too late, I can't already tell doesn't it
Yeah
Like alright, I have the map
Alright, I am going to read the map
And remember all this information
Crumple it up and then eat the paper
Ah nyah nyah nyah
Ah now what robot
You can't do anything without me
Who said I wanted to do it without you
Oh
I guess
Now you just sound like an asshole
I hold on including you in finding it
Ah it's okay
I threw it up
We still have the map
Gross
It's a little sticky
Okay so
Hold on to this Reverend
The map depicts an area in the
Dockward on the west side
Ooh wait, bumbling
May I have the map
Ah sure
Right, do I have the map
I look at the map myself and look at the information
But I would like to try and put it in my sifter
Of all things
And see if that improves the quality of the map
Ooh
Yeah, yeah yeah yeah
I love that
What we'll do is
You can just roll a d20
And beat the target number
Dang, Moby coming in hot right now
Moby
Number 20
Baby
This is the first time
Dude T357 with a natural 20 baby
Reroll
Oh
Her face dude
Her face right now dude
Oh my god
Oh you gotta take that out of the moment
That's right there
Inspiration
There you go, you got an 11 which means you fail
So use that inspiration
Use that inspiration, use it
That last name my side hurt
18, alright
Fuck
Thank you, Sumny
Go fuck yourself Moby
Yeah baby that's what it's all about
That's what it's all about
I got you, hell yeah, drink
This is Moby, fuck
Gladly, I'll finish it
To tell you to go fuck yourself again
Ugh
These are the moments we live for
Okay you put it into your sifter of many things
And successfully you pull it back out
And you reveal a map
Now in a scroll that you
Unravel and it's
Finally made and it's of almost
The whole city, you can actually see where you've been
And stuff that you've seen
And you can actually start marking things out yourself
If you want to learn more about the city
But you can see the X is still there
And
With your magical
Eye still activated
You look at the map and you can see
Scrawled on the bottom in magical ink
It says
Deliver the stone
And then destroy the map
Don't let no one stop you
And it seems
You can gather that the nimble right
Forgot to destroy the map
After it delivered the stone
How industrious
What ward is it now in
That we can see more of the map
It's in the dock ward
And actually
Let me see here
It looks a little something like this
I'll show you
I did not have this
You said the docks were towards the
West or the east
The west
Same direction the dragon was from earlier
Towards where the dragon went
That's right
If it'll upload
Give me just a second
I didn't have this prepped because I didn't think we would need it yet
WEEEST! That's right Suni
It's loading
It's
It's loading
I do like to go in a weasel-y
Direction
It looks a little something like this
In the dock ward
And you can see that the X
Is I believe
Don't quote me on this
But it's on the ship
Where in the dock ward
Did we did Brans kill that guy
On the pulpit
I think
A little bit more south than this
I think we're going to go down
But pretty close
Pretty close to the same area
But it was not this area
If that was your question
But that would get us close
Yeah absolutely
Raz do you think you can open
A portal
Well actually
Razzmare may not be gone next week
But you may be going on a wild goose chase
On your own
What if I sent them
Through the portal
And I say
Wait Raz you're going to leave me alone
With the robot
Yeah sure why not
I'm not going to make it out of next week
You've been nothing but a fucking problem
I'll be happy to get rid of you
I haven't been a fucking problem
I've been nothing but a solution
Didn't your god assign him to you
Raz
Yeah he did
Shouldn't you treat him as a blessing
I treat him as a curse
Wow
That's painful
How did you anger your god to end up with such a curse
Huh
He almost died too early
That was his problem
He almost sinned
Anyways
Roll me magic baby let's do it
Hell yeah
There it is
21
You open the portal to
In front of the shop that you were at
Previously
If you remember correctly the shop
Had the
Had a bunch of like stuffed animals in the front
And one of those stuffed animals
Was a bunch of
And one of those stuffed animals
Was a beholder
And it was a weird shop that
Bomblin may or may not have wrecked a bunch of stuff in
Before he robbed it and dipped
I didn't wreck nothing
So you guys see
The
Storefront of that shop
As you step through
And as they step through Raz you look at them
Do you have something story wise that you're going to be doing
Thanks Sweet you might want to
Tell us about before you say goodbye
This nimble ride is still kind of alive
Right
I want to be looking into
Exactly how he came about the stone
Okay
Just going to like take him back to the basement
Interrogate his ass
Yeah
Take him to the legion
Yeah I could take him to the legion too
Into that torture room
I don't know how he's going to work with a robot
What am I going to do like sprinkle sand
In his gears or something
I don't know Tess
What would be torture
Water
Sand in the gears is kind of the worst
Yeah
But also
Putting little pieces of rice in between
Our gears
So they do not
Click together correctly
Can I
Can I get my item before
Oh yeah yeah yeah
Both of you guys got them right
Sorry Raz and Bomblin
Here we go
We're doing D6 first
I do this first because there's also a cursed chart in here
Bizarre loot
Bomblin
Bomblin you get
You get the crab arm
Crab arm
Yeah
Defense plus two
A crab claw arm that
Attaches to your shoulder permanently
So that means if you equip this plus two
Crab arm you can never take it off
Oh god
Can he equip it to his minotaur hand
Yeah can I equip it
To my minotaur hand
But I tell you what even if you do that
It still takes up an inventory slot
But you can do that ascetic size if you want
Oh hell yeah
Is it like
Oh dude
So it's like a dual wielding
Crab arm, minotaur hand
It's glowing sword
Magical wand of fire
You have to get
The full description over to Proteus
This week that's your homework
So Proteus can start sketching this fucking thing
Alright you have to before their stream
Yes
Now it has crab claw
Attachments
I almost want to make the crab claw
Because it only does
Three
Epic loopers
So what if it just kind of looks like a shield
Almost
Pet slime cube
This tiny slime cube
Has imprinted on you as a parent
Three
What
Three number on the side
Three inches
Oh I couldn't see that
Three inches on the side
You have a tiny
Pet slime cube
Nice
Congrats
That's right
What will you name this cube
Hmm
Manbeard pig, minotaur bear crab
Ha ha ha ha
Ha ha ha
I'm going to name
No no no no
I'll submit my own name just so you guys know that it's the best one
Okay
Do not use the slime
For self pleasure
I imagine it's a tiny gelatinous cube so you could actually
Strangle people to death with it if you put it down their throat
Gifted potion
Hubert
Oh to Bomblin
Solution of slime, description in couch chat
Nice, we'll check it out during the breakdown
Badass
Oopie soup
Got it
Oopie soup
That's my name
Jeezefanny
Oopie soup
I love Qbert but it is your slime cube
So Oosie soup is pretty good
Oopie soup
Yeah, taste test
Oopie soup
And he
Climbs up your leg
Leaves like a small little snail trail
And it kind of burns your
Robes a little bit but it
Lands on your shoulder
I would have been like
Burns his arm hairs too like
Just comes in contact with like
Oh it's just a blob of fucking nair
Ha ha ha
Alright Oopie soup
Save me
Oh that's good
He loves it, I swear
He's like a little human Roomba for
A body hair
Alright you guys can thank Suzie for those
Yeah
God
Now it does stick up an inventory slot
And remember you guys can drag and drop from Foundry Chat
Right into your inventory
So you don't have to type anything
But you can leave it at home
I don't know, we'll have to figure that out together
I think it's just like the perfect little Roomba
For down in the church
I think you have to like re-lock it
So you know you have to unlock it
And you have to do things
You have to like re-lock it
And then I think it stays locked
There you go
Give it a little tie
Oh my god
Oopie soup with a little tie
My goodness
Now we need art
Okay, Bomblin with his new iron heads badge
And you have Oopie soup with a tie on your corner
And you're with your new eye
Dude, badass
You guys are evolving his characters
What an development
Okay, we're gonna take a quick
Five or ten
So Prodies can get out of their make up
And we're gonna come back
And we're gonna let Fishy host the
Long rest cause he's the only person I remember
To give a couch going to
But all of you fucking killed it tonight
So we're gonna come back for our short rest
Don't go anywhere, we're gonna be out of costume
So we'll be able to read chat and all other kinds of fun things
Cause we'll be at a real place, we'll be able to read a little bit better
And we're gonna talk about tonight's episode as a whole
And everybody listening here on YouTube
Or on Spotify or whatever
Sadly you cannot get the short rest on here
But come to the live, come to the live
Sadly I will go to sleep
Okay Moby I love you
I'll be right back everybody, don't go anywhere