Hello everybody and welcome to love death and dice episode 3!
3, 3, 3, 3, 3!
Yes!
I'm the Dungeon Master DM Turk, thank you so much for joining us, being awesome, and joining us here today!
And of course I'm joined with three awesome folks.
Very quickly, what are your names? Go!
Fishy.
Connor.
Proteus.
Nice.
Hey, Moby!
Cheers!
Yeah, fuck ass, I'm gonna crack open this beer here.
30 months.
Outsider with a BOMB!
Oh yeah!
Thanks for the Twitch-
And a word.
Thanks for the Twitch-nickel.
Oh, fuck you, Moby!
Fuck!
I've got these Ace limited release pumpkin ciders.
They're probably awful, but they were supplied to me by the awesome friend James!
Thanks James, the unofficial beer supplier of the show!
Thanks James!
I remember those!
Sponsored by James!
I need a bottle opener, so you know what, for now, we're drinking banana seltzers.
Cheers Moby!
Banana seltzer!
Sponsored by James!
The Ace pineapple ciders are fucking mint.
Mint?
Mint sauce?
Hell yeah bro.
I'll find my bottle opener soon, but yes, everybody, welcome to Love, Death, and Dice,
this is episode three, I'm so excited to be here, to be rolling dice and hanging out with
some of my best friends, including you fuckasses in chat.
Thank you so much for joining us.
And Connor, as well, as well.
I'm excited to get into the show, I'm excited to roll some dice and tell some stories, hopefully
some stories that you guys are interested in, I fucking damn sure know we are.
But other bullshit, we're gonna talk a little bit about our homework of the week, have no
fear, homework isn't anything you have to take home, but it is something to let you know
what the hell we got going on in our lives, and Connor's starting us off tonight.
Connor, hit us with it.
Well, as you all know with how time works, October's coming, and in October, the Grouch
Couch turns into the Gru-Ghoul Couch, not the Gru-Ghoul Couch, it's the Ghoul Couch.
So if you remember back to your childhood, where every cartoon had like the Christmas
episode, or the Thanksgiving episode, well we do a whole month of Halloween themed shit
here at the Grouch Couch, and it's amazing, you should pop by for it.
Yeah dude, yeah dude.
Protus?
Speaking of the Ghoul Couch, go check out the merch store, the new exclusive, only available
for the month of October until October 31st, the new Ghoul Couch t-shirt is available,
and like, not to like brag, you know how like I freak out in the opening credits about like
not sleeping enough and like doing art?
I designed this year's Ghoul Couch shirt, so go buy one, cause it's amazing, it's gorgeous,
it's beautiful, it's spooky, and the idea came from Fishy.
Groucho Lantern Couch.
Yes!
Groucho Lanterns!
Groucho Lanterns.
Yes!
Is it a limited release, Protus?
Yes, it is only available to October 31st.
That's right, this is the only month you can get it, starting tonight until the end of
October, if you don't get it now, you'll never get it.
This is the time, now's the time, own my art!
This shirt here, this is Ghoul Couch from last year, you can't get this anymore, so
if you fucking missed out, sorry about it.
Yep.
That's right.
So we, during Ghoul Couch we also do special streams, I'm gonna be doing some spooky,
watching ghost videos and debunking them cause I'm a video editor, as well as maybe some
creepypasta kind of stuff, and at the end of the month, the final Sunday, hopefully it's
gonna be on Sunday this year, before actual Halloween we do a trick or treat special,
where all of you guys in chat can come and be on the show, and these guys as players
are gonna trick or treat to your houses.
The plan is this year, hopefully, if these guys can make it all the way through the neighborhood,
I'm gonna give them a milestone reward, alright, so come and join us for that shit.
These guys are like, oh, fishy.
Oh.
Hey, you got him, finish this off, bro.
Did you guys say that we were doing Ghoul Couch next month?
That's right, baby, guess who's gonna be bringing some fucking talent back to SideQuesters?
This guy!
We're gonna be playing PirateBorg for this next month's SideQuesters, and I'm just so
excited to show Nate and Spice what some real talent looks like, so join us over there on
Thursdays, where we're gonna be fucking playing Pirates in the BorgBorg-ish type setting,
it's gonna be fucking rad.
PirateBorg.
So exciting.
So excited.
It's Ghost Ships, but Pirates and shit, we're very excited about it.
Skeletons, Zombies, but Pirates.
It's gonna be very spooky themed, we're very excited.
So that's our homework for Ghoul Couch, I'm sure we're gonna talk about it again next
Sunday, but thank you guys, everybody for fucking joining us.
Cheers to you, everybody in chat, all you guys that are still here to us and with us,
can you pop some emotes in that chat so we can fucking cheers to you, and thank you so
much for joining us.
I found my bottle opener, but now I have to finish my seltzer, so I'm gonna do that first,
but cheers everybody for joining us.
Pizza Death, yubs, what's up Moby, outsider, thank you buddy, appreciate y'all for being
here.
Yubbins.
Yesss.
Geeks and freaks, a part of the couch, a part of the crew.
War Poodle!
Hey thanks buddy.
Cheers man, thank you for supporting the show for 15 months dog!
Cheers man, appreciate you dog, pun intended.
Alright so we're gonna run our intro, now's the time, if you've already seen the intro,
now's the time to go grab yourself a drink, alright go grab your dice, you know what I'm
saying, go grab some sticky snacks, alright, yeah, while these guys put on their makeup
and while we run the intro, and we're gonna come right back, we're gonna get into a dungeon
tonight y'all.
Yeah, who needs makeup?
We're doing a dungeon right here in Love, Death, and Dice, so we're gonna be right back
while we watch the intro.
The long absence is okay War Poodle, we just appreciate you having you here, so thanks
for joining us man.
Cry harder, cry harder.
Your pain brings me joy, weep, weep at my feet, get good at makeup god damn.
I will be the night that I will fall for you.
As he puts on his makeup, Jesus Christ.
That laugh Connor.
Oh my face hurts.
And we've just begun y'all, we've just begun, alright, we'll see y'all after the intro,
we'll see y'all after the intro.
Cheers, thank you for supporting the show my friend, cheers man, thank you.
Alright, let's do this thing.
She's in rice, I'll have to fix it too.
To get my arms involved.
Hell yeah.
Welcome back everybody.
Thank you so much for joining us.
Thank you.
I'm Terky once again and I'm here with T357 Raz and Bomblin.
Hey guys, as we last left off in our lovely campaign, you three were on a quest to find
a man by the name of Tony Neverember.
You went.
Of course, the flannel Nell tavern got a quest from a man by the name of Thornberry who promises
you riches.
If you managed to bring his friend back.
You had a lead that led nowhere.
As you found a man who was similar looking to Tony but was not Tony at all he was share
a friend of Tony.
But share gave you some information that Tony had been taken down to the sewers by the
creature faction.
So he bought some shit and headed suit down into the sewers.
We now return to you guys in said sewers.
Yes.
And I might have some sewer sound effects.
Are you ready for this?
Shee.
Hopefully it's not too...
What are sewer sound effects?
I know right.
Bro.
A fucking log floating by?
Oh that's not a log.
Well just imagine it could be a lot worse you know with all the poo poo and pee pee sounds
that I can think of.
Especially down here.
And now there is a festering dead gazer in the water.
Indeed.
Ah.
Indeed.
I don't even know what that is.
Whatever it is I appreciate it because it's dead.
Hi Sora.
Hi Zombie.
What's up guys?
We return to you guys.
Alright I'm hopping right into story chat.
As the main sewer tunnel expands into a circular hub and as you approach you can see tiny little
bits of light coming through the cracks of what two large cracks seem to be carved into
the sides of the walls directly across from each other.
Two passages continue.
One to the north and one to the south.
But you can see down to the south there seems to be a stone door set into the back wall
of a ledge along to the west.
And we have a map.
A part of the couch.
And another one.
Thanks Zombie.
Cheers buddy.
Thanks for supporting the show for 30 goddamn months.
That is another one.
Cheers man.
That is almost three years.
Mmhmm.
Hell yeah.
I'm thinking about a lot, thinking about you a lot there Zombie because ghoul couch is
coming up and I'm thinking about them badass arts you did a couple years ago.
Them badass.
Alright.
Another one.
Here we go.
We're switching over to our beautiful sewer scene.
It's the map.
Now I would like each one of you to go on ahead and just roll me initiative because we're
playing in initiative tonight.
See the target number is at 15 and um.
What the heck.
Sorry hold on.
I gotta figure out how I can pause this shit.
Here we go.
Paused.
Well you said 15 and I rolled it.
I appreciate that.
There we go.
And yeah nine.
I would also like to say everybody here in chat we have officially moved over to foundry
and it's so much goddamn better.
Oh yeah.
It's cooler holy shit y'all.
Holy shit.
Alright so who got highest.
That would be reference Raz.
Oh yeah it's a me episode this time.
Hell yeah Raz.
This means my friend you get to go first.
You can see the map here you can feel free to move your token as you wish.
Now before you move I want to ask all three of you how quietly are you guys moving to
this sewer.
Are you guys walking and arguing still?
I don't think I'm arguing.
I think I would be kind of quiet.
Okay alright.
But who knows with my big floppy bitch feet flopping around everywhere I could be very
loudly walking.
We're going to the left by the way.
It's that year five year.
We're going to the left.
Yeah we're going to the left.
To the left.
Yeah to the we.
Everything you own in a box to the.
Wait I don't understand.
Is this a fork?
You just click and drag and drop.
Yeah it's like a circle.
It's like a circle.
A circle?
Yeah.
So wait.
What is considered far on this type of drag and drop?
Just take one step forward and you'll see more Connor.
Hey everybody.
Learning curve tonight y'all.
Yeah learning curve.
Just one step.
Just take one step.
I see nothing.
I'm learning how to walk again.
Can I take another step forward?
Yeah.
He's brand new.
Who let this guy lead?
There you go.
Now as you step there I'm gonna need you to make me a stealth roll to see how quiet you're
moving to the water here.
Okay.
What would that be Dex?
Dex?
Yeah.
Yes sir.
Not carrying quietly at all.
That's a two.
That's a three.
You don't even come close.
You got a plus one.
That's a three.
You don't even come close.
Anybody in chat want to do a first give a dice of the night?
You're gonna let your boy Turkey move on.
You're gonna let me move on?
Cause I'm so down.
I'm sorry guys.
The clap of my ass cheeks might alert the guards.
Ashtray clap.
Proteus gets to do a crotch speech.
But War Poodle you got to give a subject.
You know this.
Not just a name, a subject.
What's the speech?
I've never done a speech.
Really?
Is this your first one?
This is.
Wow.
That's crazy.
I've seen Raz do one where he said on God a lot.
There you go.
Just imitate him.
I don't think War Poodle has a subject.
Crazy.
On God, on God.
That shit was no cap.
You know what I'm saying?
Casting a spell.
I have to stand in my chair.
Don't die.
I will do my best as a War Poodle.
I do not do much spell casting, but I imagine it starts with being a bit of a D bag and
then concentrating your douche bag energy into putting things into the universe like
hatred and generalized bigotry.
There you go.
Generalized bigotry.
Describe your reverend.
He is my experience with most magic users.
That makes sense.
It's kind of the same.
That's basically it.
Hi, Raz.
So we're moving on here.
You got it too, my friend.
You got it too.
And I'm sorry about that.
But what's going to happen now?
Let me see.
What's the best way to do this?
Come over here.
Nice.
Maybe not that.
Maybe this.
Clap of my ass cheeks have alerted the guards.
Mm hmm.
You tell me.
Oh shit.
A thousand bits or more portal.
Thank you.
We put that coinage towards the boys debt.
For you.
Yes, we can.
Cheers.
Or brutal.
Thank you so much for supporting the show, buddy.
That's the word that was just floating around in the sewer.
Every bit donated takes a coin off of their debt to the Legion.
That's right.
Yeah.
So how much does it make it now?
Uh, two hundred and forty nine thousand.
All right.
Every bit counts.
Yeah.
You know, I love you.
We love you too, buddy.
Thank you so much for joining in us.
Morning in with us.
Jesus.
Right.
This do I have?
I'm going to go to the toilet.
Did you?
Did you just make hydraulic sounds?
You ready?
You ready for this?
As you step forward.
From one of the tiny little slits you can see to your right.
There's a tiny little slit there.
An arrow comes flying out of it.
Oh, shit.
Mm hmm.
This has a plus four.
That is a twelve.
Is a twelve hitchy.
The fuck is my defense?
Wait, are we counting this against my defense?
Yes, sir.
Well, then I have a 13.
Eat ass.
Arrow.
It misses.
Mm hmm.
Which is going to end your turn.
We're going to move over to T three five seven.
You see this arrow go on the wall, like right next to you directly across.
What do you do?
Are they aware that me and Boblin are in the hall behind him?
I don't think yet.
No.
Then I would like to attempt to use my ability assassin.
If Target does not know you're there, your first attack can not miss.
Oh, shit.
Badass.
So to be able to attack, you're going to have to move forward a little bit.
All right.
And there is I'm just going to move your guys.
You can see there's a slit here and there's one right here.
You can pick which one you want to shoot through.
All right.
I was going to make it a hard roll, but if they don't know that you're there, it's just
an automatic hit.
So let's do it.
It's badass.
So move forward wherever you're going to shoot from.
Yeah.
And then I will aim for the slit that Raz got shot from over here.
OK.
Are you going to use your crossbow?
Yes.
Let's do it.
Badass.
Do I roll a specific dice?
To hit with a ranged weapon, it would be dexterity.
But does it auto hit?
But it auto hits.
You don't even have to do it.
So it's just damage.
So you just roll weapons.
Yeah.
So weapons is a d6 plus two.
And then you have an additional 1d4 with your beautiful crossbow of fire magic.
Excellent.
Nice.
That's a three plus two.
It's five.
And roll the d4.
I think if you're like your weapons, customize and stuff, you'd be able to roll your weapon
that would actually roll everything.
I was kind of taking it earlier.
Nice with that.
Josh.
Coming in.
Hello, friend.
Energy.
Hello, friend.
You made me thirsty.
Welcome to the shit show.
Yeah.
Okay.
So that is eight damage in total as you shoot your crossbow for the first time.
It flies directly right past Reverend Raz's head and into the slit.
And you can see because a little bit of fire magic on your arrow.
So it kind of lights up the area as it goes through the slit.
And before the fire goes out, you see a green face with like a huge nose and like jagged
teeth.
And it's holding a crossbow up to the little hole.
And as it it sees and then it hits the new here as it hits.
Watch your mouth.
Okay, I will give you a little bit more movement if you want to, because currently bomb them
won't be able to get past you.
Affirmative.
I will move slightly.
You're gonna go up or down behind Raz.
Okay.
Or not.
Because it's a circle.
I don't know why I started us off on a circle for the first time.
We're using this map system.
I don't know why I'm smart.
It's confusing me.
All right, Bomblin, you see all this shit go down.
I think it would be your turn.
But since we're going clockwise, technically, it's my turn.
Actually.
How dare you see that whole decision making progress process right there.
Yeah, you know, it's my turn right now.
My bad.
Go ahead.
I guess.
Yeah.
Another arrow comes out of the slit.
But this time the slit from the south and it shoots right up you at you.
T dash three five seven plus four to hit.
That's an 11 plus four.
Fifteen to 15.
Hit you.
One moment, please.
I have a 14.
All right, it hits you.
For how much?
Three.
This is the arrow comes flying out and it gets you right in the chest and sticks inside
of your metal a little bit and like you could hear your gears grind a little bit on the
arrow as it lands inside of your chest and then from the inside of the hole here.
All right, now it's you, Bomblin.
What a dick.
Yeah.
Now, it's a good pattern that we're working with.
How many movements they still get?
So long is like over 30 feet and short is anywhere in between there.
So you can move short and do an action or you can move long, which is like 30 to 60
feet.
And each square is each square is five.
Five.
So if I wanted to come down here.
Wow.
There's the Goblin there.
I can just see him.
Yeah, you can see him now.
If you stand right there, you see right through the slit.
Can I still am I still ahead?
No, absolutely not.
You stepped right in front of his face.
He's laughing and he stops.
You can still talk to him and roar intimidatingly.
Here, do you hear those Goblins?
How's Jesus Christ?
So scary.
Some good special effects right there.
Take my great sword and shove it through the slit and try to stab the Goblin.
Is he scared?
I also panic react.
OK, you to 15.
That's the target.
Oh, that's an eight.
Oh, you have bonuses to strength.
That is what bonuses.
It's an 11.
Oh, an 11.
OK, you miss you stick your sword through it, jiggle it around and he's like,
we roll.
Oh, you got a reroll.
I survive.
Oh, I don't know.
Survival.
Oh, 22 is pretty good.
All right.
You stick your sword in there.
Go ahead and roll me some damage.
The damage.
11.
So that's 12 damage.
I want to play it like with the reroll because I love how do you certifiable?
I love role playing on this.
You stick your sword in there and wiggle it around and he's like jumping around like
and then you pull it out and then just shove it directly into his face and it's in his
goblin head begins to split in half.
And you can see this like blackish red blood just dripping down his face as you slice your
sword right through him and pull it out.
His body just falls down on the ground.
Gross.
But cool.
Now, can I do I still do I still have any movement left?
Maybe one or two squares.
Sure.
I'll let you do that.
I would take out my foot.
There you go.
One square there.
All right.
As you step there, you can see directly in front of you to the left is this elevated
platform.
It's a couple of feet up above the water and on that water, there's a stone door right
there.
OK.
Yeah.
All right.
Now I understand what you're talking about.
Now.
Now we're on Raz.
It's me.
Yes, sir.
Ah, is that first goblin deceased?
One of them is the one that shot first, though, is not deceased.
You did eight damage was not enough to kill him.
Can I also confirm that I put my damage incorrectly?
Yeah, you took three.
Yes.
Is there a door there?
It's different than how roll 20 operated.
No, those doors are there's little marks for doors, but those doors are actually on a different
level.
Oh, what the hell?
Yeah, I don't want to move there.
OK.
It is different on roll 20.
So underneath your picture, we could actually pull it up here together real quick.
Hold on.
We're on foundry, everybody.
For the first time ever.
It's really exciting.
So you can see underneath your picture here.
That's the amount of damage that you've taken.
Just kind of neat.
So you just put your damage in there, as you can see, and it goes against your health,
which is fun.
And we can also see it on your if we right click on your token, we can see it seven right
there.
Actually, if I right click here, I can put this guy at zero.
He's dead now.
All right.
So Raz, is your vision?
This is where I choose to move.
Looking for the other slit right in front of the slit.
Yeah.
All right.
What do you do?
Let's see what can I do?
Hmm.
How big is this?
Maybe like a one by one.
It's not it's like it's like this.
It's big enough for bomb.
You just sort through.
It's like this.
Yeah.
If you guys, man, you got your I'm putting my sword in what slit?
Oh, boy.
A goblin slit.
Yeah.
All right.
I'm just saying it only happened one time, but you guys will let me live it down.
What happens at the clap stays at the clap.
Would you say this goblin bitch is like close enough to touch through the slit?
You could reach your hand in there.
Sure.
Yeah.
OK.
Oh, my God.
It's the slit.
You're going to walk in front of the slit and look him directly in the eyes and go, surprise,
fuck ass.
And I just as I poop him on the head, I activate soul siphon.
Extract life force from a living target within close range transfer effort rolled from their
HP to yours.
Hell yeah.
Roll me a magic hit.
Let's go beat to 15.
Wait, I have to roll a 20 for magic.
Yes, sir.
OK.
Since this is an intelligent spell to be plus three, right?
Or am I getting that wrong?
All right.
That's right.
That's correct.
Fifteen plus three.
That's an 18.
All right.
So it only had one HP left.
Thanks to two, three, five, seven.
So as you reach in there and you boop him on the head, he's like, and you just touch him.
And then his whole body just goes limp, like petrified as your magic surges through his
body and he falls down on the ground.
But then in that moment of him being dead, you hear a voice.
Raz.
This one dead.
His soul will be ours.
Thank you.
And then the voice fades away.
You're welcome, God.
I love you.
Can we all hear God?
Yes, Raz.
Yeah.
What a nutcase.
All right.
This one's dead.
He just killed somebody.
He says, I love you, God.
Just the sewers.
His voice echoes too.
You have no idea what I'm going to say as soon as I get to you.
I love you, God.
As soon as I get to use Death Nova, it's going to be even funnier.
All right.
And use your movement.
Yeah, I want to move right up next to Bommelin.
Right there.
OK.
All right.
They are both dead and it is currently T357.
What do you do?
That is an excellent question.
Would we like to go through the door?
She says from 20 feet away.
Yeah.
Yes.
I see a door here.
I don't know if you could see a test, but I'd very much like to go through it.
I have light up eyes.
Wait, do you have dark vision?
I think there is a way to actually apply dark vision.
Hold on.
Basic configuration.
Hold on.
You can actually get dark vision in this, bitch.
Basic vision.
Dark vision.
Update token.
I just make a little bit.
I imagine my eyes would be like little flashlights.
Yeah.
Vision.
Dark vision.
Vision.
Little lanterns, I mean.
Yeah.
What the fuck is a flashlight?
Right.
I know what a flashlight is, but not a flashlight.
I believe it's what we found in Bomblin's bag that he was so ashamed of.
Okay.
So you move up to the door, I'm assuming.
I'll help you do this.
Yes.
All right.
This door in front of you, you wiggle the door and it is indeed locked.
Oh, I have a thing for this.
The one tool that's going to stop the rogue from being able to open doors.
All right, let's do it, man.
Everybody watching who's never seen this before.
Raz has a magical item called the magical bag of keys that has a 5% chance to give him
whatever key he actually needs for that situation.
So if he rolls a nat 20 on this, he gets that key and it's already happened once.
So let's try again.
Yes.
Oh, my God.
What the fuck?
What a broken magical item.
Fucking key.
That exactly fixed the door.
Chat.
Cheers, y'all.
That's insane.
Twice this has happened.
Holy shit.
You're going to have to start working on your doors, man.
I'm going to have to start working on your doors.
Yeah, you haven't already put some Nat 20s in chat, y'all.
Put some Nat 20s in chat.
Oh, my goodness.
Also, don't forget to give yourself a mastery point.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, you're going to master.
Mastery.
Yeah, only for Nat 20s.
Unless there's a critical fail that I deem worthy of a mastery point, which can also
happen.
Oh, I opened the fucking door with this key that I found.
OK.
So you open the door.
There it is.
The door is open now.
You open the magical door.
I'm going to put you in there.
Not magical.
You open the locked door.
You step into a new area.
You can see that the area turns a little bit to the right.
That's all you've got.
And we came to a locked door and it was Proteus.
Technically, it's still your turn.
So what do you do?
I will venture inside.
And you can move yourself if you guys don't want me to move you.
I can as well.
All right, you can go a little bit further.
Here we go.
We've got a new person sits on the bill check.
Welcome to the show, friend.
Follow just to welcome.
Check, check, check, check.
OK, so we're approaching.
OK, here we are.
So you can see in front of you.
I'm echoing through.
Somebody is freaking me out.
Yeah, I can hear a reverend Raz.
That's actually me.
Maybe I blew up the noise suppression because I was yelling.
Maybe honestly, that could be it.
You can see in front of you, there's another arrow slit, but this time there's nothing
behind it.
And to your left, there's a door.
But as you peer through the arrow slit, you can see kind of like.
Can I see the dead goblin?
Yes, you can see the dead goblin and you can see a couple of broken boxes and other kinds
of things on the other side.
Yeah.
All right.
Now we're moving over to me, which I do nothing.
So Bomblin, what do you do?
Real quick, I would actually like to yell Tony.
No shit.
You yell Tony.
Your voice echoes as you say, Tony, Tony, Tony.
Nothing calls back.
OK, then Bomblin's turn.
Yeah, all right, Bomblin.
What do you do?
Do we like do we like the sewer ambience?
It kind of sounds like rain to me.
A little bit, but I do like it.
It will make me.
And then I'm going to fill my oil.
What's that?
Oh, moved past you.
I guess I'm going to tackle this door.
I think give us a just click on the door.
Yeah, yeah, click on it.
Oh, it's not locked.
Look at that.
She art as you step inside, you can see over to the left, a messy room.
There's just all different kinds of just stuff just scattered all over the floor.
Did I loot this stuff?
Yeah, you step inside.
Roll me perception wisdom to loot this bad boy.
Perception wisdom to loot this bad boy.
Let's go.
Gala, is Gala here?
Yeah, it's a five.
Oh, Gala is here.
Stop the emotes.
It's only a five.
So yeah, honestly, even out all the garbage, it just looks like garbage to you.
Now.
All right.
Moving to Raz.
What do you do, Raz?
Well, I just remembered I have an adventurous pack that has a torch in it.
Cheers.
Oh, first, sorry for being late.
Was that the store?
Hey, how'd the store go?
Did you get anything good?
And fucking cheers to you, buddy.
Thank you so much for joining us.
Gala also said they resubbed.
I didn't see that.
If I.
And they are if I equip a torch.
Does that mean that I can see more?
It should.
Let me see.
We have.
Let's see.
It's got light amplification.
Light.
Yeah.
Does it do this?
We're learning today, y'all.
Just so you know, we're learning.
Oh, wait.
No, it says light.
Does it light color intensity light animation?
What is radius?
For like torch.
So I can I can see things now.
See, see even anyway.
You got Chinese food.
I mean, I mean, damn it.
Light.
Yeah, I'm fixing it for you right now.
From what I understand, China is all day.
That is blasphemy.
That's a little better.
I can see things now.
You know, me too, man.
The problem is, is that you eat a bunch of it, you feel bloated and then in 20 minutes,
you take a big old steamy poop and then you go and you eat the rest of it because it's
so delicious.
No, can't move there.
I really miss American.
Just go forward and then to the.
Yeah, what is English Chinese food even?
It's just slightly off.
What are we talking about?
Chinese food in England?
Where have you been?
Oh, sorry.
I was helping Connor.
He equipped a torch.
He's got torch light going on.
She's kind of cool.
No, no, no, Connor is.
Forget about the game, man.
We're talking about Chinese food.
That's right.
All right.
You're going to move into the next room.
Yeah.
All right.
I'm trying.
There we go.
So stepping in here, you can see all these fucked up boxes and the dead body of the
goblin.
Oh, nice.
Yes.
Well, I guess that's all the movement I have.
Actually, can I look at the fucked up boxes?
Sure.
Roll me wisdom perception.
I'm cracking open the pumpkin beer, everybody.
Everybody the pumpkin beer is happening.
I work on his chicken curry.
What the fuck?
That sounds wild.
And eight.
What's your 10?
Then it just looks like boxes in a goblin body.
Here's you all.
I loot the goblin.
Sure.
So you go to the goblin's body.
He has a crossbow.
He has 10 bolts and he has one D12 of copper pieces.
Let me roll the one D12.
He's got nine copper pieces and a small pouch on his side.
I'll take that pouch and I'll toss it down the hallway to Tess.
Excellent.
I will add this to your debt repayment.
Nice.
Hell yeah.
Okay.
Now we're back to you.
Test, what do you do?
Pumpkin beer.
Too early for the pump.
No, dude, we started early, baby.
I got my cool couch shirt on.
We got pumpkin.
It's actually a cider too.
So it's freaking sick.
All right, that's what you do.
Finicky.
I would like to move forward slightly and also just precursor a glance over the room
Bomblin was in.
Okay.
Roll me wisdom perception.
Let's do it.
My dad said my order arrived.
Pick it up tomorrow.
Sick.
That's a nine.
I also got a 10.
It just looks like a bunch of crap on the ground.
Sad.
Do I have any movement left?
Sure.
You can go a couple more squares.
I would like to move up to Raz.
All right.
All right, Bomblin, what do you do, buddy?
All right.
I'm going to go back up there.
Is there any doors in that room or is this a dead end?
I think I see stairs in front of me.
Yeah.
I knew there are stairs.
Is this like downstairs or upstairs?
Looks like upstairs.
But it could be downstairs depending on the perspective you're looking at that, like Ariel,
for instance.
Ariel down stairs.
That's also my confusion.
All right.
I have a leap frog all over you guys.
Yeah.
Oh, there's a dead body in here.
I go up the stairs.
There's a door down here.
Yeah.
Did I make it to the door?
Sure, man.
Sure.
Kind of speeding through this and you guys can follow him as well.
You don't got to wait around.
You can follow him.
OK.
Can I swipe the bolts off the goblin on my way?
Absolutely.
Ten more bolts for you.
I don't know how many bolts I started with.
Well, you've got ten now.
That's good.
The door not working.
All right.
I'll just skip you over.
Don't worry about it.
Ah, well, there's beds in here.
Yeah.
All right.
So you are a crape.
I like this room.
Hold on one second.
We get everybody moved over here.
There we go.
All right.
Bombing.
So you guys enter the next room.
Nice.
OK.
This room, as you look around, contains about six tattered straw stuffed mattresses.
But as you search through these six mattresses, you finally did beat the target.
But sadly, you find nothing of value.
But from your great perception roll, you can hear some yelling coming from the room right
next to you.
And you actually got bonuses on that.
That is a dirty 20 that you got.
So you actually hear like a dwarven accent saying, don't fucking open that door, board
it up.
Don't open the door.
That is we're going to leave it before we take our quick five minute break, everybody.
So we're going to do we're going to take a quick little break.
Yeah.
And when we come back, we'll reroll initiative and we'll see what the hell's going on in
this area.
And I just love the torch effects, dude.
How fricking bad ass is that?
It's like that's sick.
Look, I remember I had a Ventures pack.
So sick, dude.
So sick.
Hey, everybody here in chat.
Thank you guys so much for being here and being awesome and joining us.
Look, we really do appreciate it.
I hope that you all have been enjoying the story so far.
Truthfully, I do.
I hope you've been enjoying it.
We're doing a dungeon tonight, obviously, but I have some very special things in store
for these players after they make it out if they make it out alive, which hopefully with
the help of you guys, they will.
So we'll see what happens.
But for now, we're going to take a quick five minute break.
We're not going to do full time.
We're going to do five.
And before we go, we're going to do a thing that we do around here called thumbnail poses.
Basically what this is, is you can throw out random poses into chat.
Why is it so big?
I don't know.
You can throw out random poses into chat and then these guys will do their best to interpret
your poses and they will pose as those things.
In such case, then if you can screenshot these poses, make memes out of them, post these
screenshots in our discord for us to make memes out of them.
You could even share them on social media and then we will share your memes and of course
give you credit for doing so.
So if you have any ideas, even for gifts, throw them into chat and they will do their
best to pose as that.
But I do love this pose you're doing right there.
Just hold it still because it's really good.
I was doing the movement for gifts.
What's this special key?
This special key.
All right, it looks like chat doesn't have any suggestions for us.
So we are going to just go on ahead and take our break.
Hopefully that was a good enough pose.
And we'll be right back in five, everybody.
We'll be right back in five.
Yeah.
It's going to continue playing.
Hello everybody.
Welcome back to love, death and dice.
This is episode three.
Excited to be here.
I'm Turkey and I'm here with Proteus, Connor and fishy.
I'm excited to be here rolling dice with some of my dang all best old friggin friends.
I'm drinking some ace pumpkin ciders.
Cheers to you guys.
Thank you so much for being here.
Look, a hype train is close.
You've got two seconds.
It's over.
So thank you so much for gift and subs, Proteus.
And thank you, Nate, for.
Hello.
Tell me what to do on my company sanctioned breaks.
That's true.
Supporting the show that you're a part of.
Thank you.
And Debbie, some friggin 35 months and Nate did.
Cheers you guys.
While we're on break, too.
Thank you so much.
Yeah.
Ace has pumpkin out, dude.
That's crazy.
This is provided to me by the homie James from work.
Here's buddy.
So as we left off, I'm going to play this music again.
We left off.
Our three players, heroes, even lawful evil villains.
Three of them are down in the sewers trying to find a man by the name of Tony.
Never remember.
They have started to make it through the sewers just as they led up to a room where they heard
the cries of a dwarven voice saying, no, don't open that door.
We're turned now.
These three heroes standing in a room that seems to be bunks in the middle of the sewers.
Yes, to the map.
Birdies is real power is union law.
That's right.
Yes.
All right.
We're reactivating our scene.
Sorry.
There we go.
Now we're doing a new scene.
So everybody roll me initiative again.
New initiative time.
Counterclockwise.
Roll me D20.
17.
Nice.
Means Raz is first and Bomblin second because we're going counterclockwise this time around.
Yes.
All right.
Well, you know what that means, folks.
Can I go this way?
No, I'm going to Bob Rush the door.
All right.
There is a door.
So sorry for the scrolling y'all.
I'm trying to get over this way.
There we go.
And I'm going to put my shoulder into it.
Oh, your shoulder.
All right.
Well, the doors just open.
But if you want to put your shoulder into it, roll me strength.
Yes.
I want it to fly open.
All right.
11.
You have bonuses to strength?
No, I don't know.
11.
You hit the door and you're like pushed back onto the ground as the door.
And then you hear from the other side.
He's like, Oh, someone seems to be coming.
And you hear a second subtle voice like, uh, bus down that open door.
Well, that fucking failed.
I guess I'll just open it and run in.
OK, I'll let you do it.
No.
Bomb one says, Oh, do that.
Yeah.
Click on it.
Sell your religion, man.
No.
All right.
As you run it, do you have the two follow?
I wouldn't.
I've got.
OK.
I will rush into this door.
You can see it's another sleeping area.
There are a couple of beds like scattered about right away.
You see a familiar face.
It is a human like bandit and you recognize him from the bar fight you had earlier this
day.
He's one of the ones that survived and got away.
He's standing there next to a smaller dwarf seems to be commanding him as you're running
in and the dwarf is stacking things up on this door right next to him.
And he's yelling at the other guy like, don't go in there.
You're an idiot.
Don't go in this door.
He's just stacking stuff and both of them see you and they turn around and they're like,
oh, in the bandit raises up a spear he has and he looks right at you and he's like, oh,
I remember you.
Do you remember?
And then can I is it my turn still?
Can I do things if you two will allow it to still be his turn if you don't want to do
anything before he does another reaction, you guys can pass and we'll let him go that
bed right next to me.
Can I just like flip that bitch up real quick?
Yeah, absolutely.
You flip up the bed.
It makes sense because Boblin seen this before, but I don't think Tess has.
You're not going to want to go in there, Jess.
I do not care about his religious BS.
It's not just BS when it's explosive.
Yes, I'm just going to scream at the top of my lungs.
God is great.
And then I'm going to activate Death Nova.
Jesus Christ, will you explain for me and for chat exactly what Death Nova does?
Yes, I will.
All right.
Oh shit, where is it?
Oh, it's right there.
With no roll, overload your power and explode.
Sacrifice any amount of HP and add it to 2D12 damage.
All within far range, roll defense to avoid.
Yeah.
Yeah, I explode.
You explode to do what you say to be 10.
Yeah.
That's why I said God is great.
2D12s.
Plus whatever sacrifice HP he wants to go for.
But you could choose zero.
Yeah.
Take the 2D12.
I think I'll choose zero.
OK, so one of them is a plus one defense.
The other one also has a plus one defense.
So they're both going to roll defense.
What did you say?
I was going to be like, maybe you should like maybe at least do like two or three HP, at
least that way, you know, you might be enough to topple.
True, true.
But first we're going to let.
You also have that thing with another enemy.
You can just set up their energy.
True.
We're going to let Raz roll first to see how much potential damage Raz might do, and then
we'll roll their defense rolls.
Ten.
Are you sacrificing any HP?
I am not.
OK.
Ten damage.
I explode.
Oh, damn.
It's glorious.
OK.
Spaging.
Spare changing.
Spaging.
All right.
You explode.
Now I'm going to make their defense rolls.
They both have a plus one.
I'm going to roll both of them at the same time.
One of them got a natural one.
Is that why I rolled a one?
Yeah, one of them got a natural one.
The other one got a 12, which does not hit the target number.
So both of them fail their defense rolls as you explode.
Would you like to explain to us what we see as you supernova?
Well, you heard the first part.
I scream out God is great.
And from the center of my chest emanates an explosion that seems not yellow and fiery,
but red in color, almost like a mist just pushing out violently and fast.
And anything that is delicate in its path immediately vaporizes and changes into red
mist as well.
Hell yeah.
It's fucking badass.
Badass.
Here's what happens to those.
So as the dwarf turns into mist and explodes, the other one, the red gets sucked into his
body and then his body doesn't explode, but it falls to the ground.
And as it falls to the ground, you hear a voice in your head once again.
Good job, Raz.
But this one, we're not done with this one.
In the bandit that you had fought in the bar previously, his body lies on the floor.
And as you hear this voice in your head, you all of a sudden feel this magic emanating
inside of your body.
And you look down on your arm and you see a little dot appear.
This dot will allow you to use the spell reanimate dead, which allows you to animate one creature
for 24 hours that will listen to whatever you want to say and do whatever you want to
say.
And the voice says, bring him back, make him suffer.
You got it, God.
Is it still my turn?
You still want me to do this stuff?
I think you can find seven in the room.
And then said, you got it, God.
They walk in as you say, you got it, God.
And all they walk into is me flipping this corpse over and shoving my fingers into its
chest and then turning my hand like a key, which causes it to fucking spring back to
life.
And it does.
It stands up and it looks at you.
And it goes like, what's behind that door?
Fuck ass.
So this guy's actual name was cunts.
What is he?
Cunts.
KOs.
I'm not using that.
Yeah.
So you can call him whatever you want.
But he was bandit cunts.
That was his name.
Fuckass seems less offensive.
Can we do it like the author?
Coons.
Yeah, sure.
I'm done with that.
I think it's much better.
Connor, because the death God told me to.
Oh shit.
Clare gets a couch card.
I have a couch card.
Yeah, that's less than cunts.
Fuckass seems less offensive.
Brand new sentence.
You could actually use exclamation point, quote, add quote space, add, and you can add
that in as a quote, or if you want, man, it's been a while since we've seen one of those
actually.
Yeah.
And you could add it in and it'll be history forever.
We have a whole list of quotes and you could use exclamation point quote
to just pull up random ones to from their past.
So as you ask that question, he kind of looks at you and he's like,
don't go in there.
Why?
Jelly.
You're talking about the gelatinous cube.
Dwarf nose.
He's gone. OK.
Yeah.
You should ask the degenerate where our target is.
Oh, yeah. Where's Tony?
Fuck ass.
Tony, we kidnapped Tony.
Turns out.
Wasn't Tony.
Black Network took the not Tony.
So then we took Tony, real Tony, that time, second time, real Tony.
Is that way any points towards the other door?
OK, cool. Well.
Is there anything else important that you think you need to tell me
before I send you in the room with the jelly?
No, maybe we should have him lead us to Tony.
OK, fine.
You guys let him live.
Here's Jimmy and kind.
Jimmy has cool boots.
Jimmy is cool boots.
Any points at the door?
You want his boots?
No, I sure I'll take them.
All right.
Yeah, sure. Take his boots.
He bends over, you hear the cracking in his back
as his body's like still stiff and like starting to become
it wasn't called rigor mortis rigor mortis.
Yeah. And he reaches down and starts untying his boots and takes him,
puts him around his neck and he's like, OK.
Let's go.
Cool.
Yeah. All right.
So there's another door that goes where we're.
Southern hands.
Yeah. Naked southern hands.
That's right. Naked feet, naked feet.
All of you guys have naked feet.
I forgot I give you a magical boot item.
You're only going to take it because you all got naked feet.
I forget I have metal appendages
making them bend into a boot is kind of hard.
I have bare feet.
Maybe I could put
maybe I could put it on big bear toe.
Yeah, maybe.
Raz is the only one that could wear them.
Now you can all wear the boots.
We could flavor text them as something else if you all want to.
But they're magical shoes of some kind.
If any of you guys want to take them.
No feet, bare feet and bare feet.
I will take them.
All right. They won't be magical Crocs.
These are OK.
These are
Crocs of dexterity.
They give you plus one dexterity Crocs of dexterity.
Yes. Crocs of dexterity.
Custom item. Put them in your thing.
All right. Raz is done.
T357, he got the boots.
We're going to let you go next.
Do you want to move forward in this door?
What are you doing?
Yes, I would like to go towards the door that was pointed out
as the one where Tony is.
OK, you walk into it, you can see that it goes down a little bit.
And you can see where the sewer is.
You can see like water leaking down this hallway.
It goes underneath where the sewer water kind of goes through
the place that you came before.
I mean, you can see the very end.
There's another door.
Yes, let us continue towards the door.
All right.
Are you guys following?
Yeah, sure, whatever.
All right.
Let's bring in here.
And that means rope to this guy's neck
and I'm just leading him our way.
Now he's leading us.
So it's like a leash, really.
He's pulling that's pulling you through.
And everyone's going to go here.
Here. Here.
OK.
Here. Here. OK.
Here.
All right. OK.
Who is the goodest boy?
God damn it. Here.
And oh, God.
Oh, I mean, I see you making me curse, you asshole.
As the door opens, you guys look through.
You can see.
Threadbare curtains hang on the east wall
of this long hall at the very end.
The room, the hallway opens up into a large room,
at least 30 by like 80.
The very end of it is a big stone chair, like a throne.
But in the middle of this long hall of a room
seems to be a muscular minotaur in dingy robes.
He stands there with his foot on the chest of a male human
with wavy red blonde hair and fire burns around his hands
and his fists as his victim below him cries out and squirms
beneath him.
You can see the minotaurs fur is all patchy and messed up.
You can see scars underneath his skin.
As the door swings open, the minotaurs eyes turn
and lock eyes with the three of you.
We're an official initiative.
I'm going to bring you all into the room.
Don't forget to put my dead slave in front.
All right, you got it.
And you zoom in down here.
Here we go.
Oh, you're going to do that.
Hold up.
Here we go.
All right.
T357 just went.
I kind of explained what he was doing.
So, Bomblin, it's you.
What do you do, son?
All right.
The boots have an attunement.
Hold on, I'll read a little bit of chat.
It's been a minute.
That lets you walk on glass shards.
Yeah, sure.
Crocs of dexterity and dad fashion.
That's a better name.
Zoomies, not sponsored.
Yeah.
Hashtag.
Use the zombie as a throwing weapon.
All right.
Good run straight for the better.
This is a bit.
It's all right.
That's this is a bit of thought.
You got it.
And we're going to roll.
We're going to go as reckless attack is one of my milestone abilities.
Nice, dude.
When attacking, make your role easy.
Reduce your defense by three until your next turn.
Nice.
That's cool.
Super cool.
Nine.
I don't know why Connor's got the evil laugh.
Three.
That's a 12.
So as an easy roll, that means this 15 is actually a 12, which means that you hit, son.
All right.
Yeah.
Roman, your damage.
Explain to us what this looks like.
I got to run up as a reckless attack.
I'm just kind of way around and then I bring my great side down on top of its head.
And it doesn't really slash.
It just kind of like put things off, you know, Minotaur heads.
Yeah.
So as because now it makes my defenses because of the pinging and bouncing, I've made myself
in a bad place for Perry.
Oh, OK.
OK.
All right.
As you run and you hit him, he looks up, he's like, oh, he makes eye contact directly with
you and he's like, you're not with the Creatures Guild.
What are you doing here?
And the fire burns brighter in his hands as he prepares to cast magic and he takes his
foot off of Tony's lifeless body on the ground as Tony looks up at you and he's like, oh,
now it's Raz's turn.
Oh, man.
I don't know if I could do it right now, but it would be advantageous.
We would all die.
Well, so I have control over fuck, fuck ass, right?
Yeah.
And so I'm going to say, fuck ass, I choose you kill him.
And here's fuck asses stats.
Should I change his name?
Yeah, probably.
I don't like his original name.
This is the Earth name.
He's been reversed.
Right. Yeah.
So he's got a three in strength.
All right.
Attack him, fuck ass.
Fuck ass runs, jumps over Tony's body, stands on the other side and fuck ass attacks.
You can roll it.
D20.
That's a strength.
He's got plus what?
Three?
Three.
Is a 19.
Ah, dang.
Yeah, he hits.
Is he bare handed?
No, he's got his spear.
He's got his spear.
So it's a weapon attack.
I'm just 1d6.
Two damage.
Why does this not?
Yeah, that was nine.
So what does that mean?
And then I go, right?
Yes.
Now you go.
I hope you're picking up what I'm putting down, but I'm going to use one of my new spells
called Doorway and I'm going to open up a door right behind the Minotaur.
Here's how this one works.
Create a magical doorway from your present location to any location you've been before.
The door remains open for 1d4 rounds.
Would you like to know where the door connects to?
Yes.
It's floating above the giant hole in the tavern.
It's a door that opens.
You can hear it was his name Tequila.
He's like, not again.
No ritual sacrifices in the bar.
You can hear like yelling through the doorway.
It's not a person.
And then Minotaur turns and looks and he's like, what magic is this?
Oh shit.
It's not a person above the hole in the fucking bar.
Holy shit.
Okay.
Do you have any movement you want to use?
Well, no, because I would also need to do an attack.
So I'll go ahead and pass it on to whoever's next.
All right.
So can I ask a question of how this hole is positioned?
Yeah.
What does the door like facing vertical or is it like this?
So you push them out and he falls down.
Would it be like a wily coyote off a cliff or?
I think it would be like if this is the door, it's facing like this directly into the hole.
Nice.
So when you walk through it, gravity changes direction.
Nice.
That is well, fuck that takes away my plan.
Oh wait, I haven't rolled for how many rounds it's open for.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, and you also have to roll to make sure you cast it too.
We were just so caught up in how funny it is.
We forgot to make you roll.
So it might not even actually happen.
Yeah.
So it's an intelligence spell.
Which is good because I'm very intelligent.
Very intelligent.
Oh, nice.
Nice.
So it happens now.
Roll for rounds.
One before two rounds.
All right.
So when it comes back to you twice, then it disappears.
All right.
And where are we putting it?
Do you want to try and to draw on the board?
You could use the drawing tools and just draw like a line for wherever you want it to be.
Oh, on the left side.
Oh, there we go.
Yeah.
Okay.
Where's fuck ass Minotaur?
Can we move?
Fuck.
I do not want him there.
The right.
Yeah, there we go.
I want it in his space.
And how do I draw?
There's a pencil on the left side says drawing tools.
At least it should be there for you.
Yeah.
And then you could just draw.
Oh, also this.
I forgot about this.
Blood splatter.
Oh, yes.
My goddamn characters.
There you go.
That works.
The circle.
There's the circle.
Nice.
I got you, homie.
All right.
T357, what do you do?
I would like to use an ability.
I close my I would like to disappear.
And then if possible, run across the room and scoop up Tony out of harm's way.
All right.
And your disappear.
Will you read it for us?
Want me to read it?
Do you have it up?
Yes.
One moment disappear.
Make a stealth roll even when in plain sight to simply vanish.
Nice.
Hell yeah.
All right.
Well, let's do a stealth roll.
That would be dexterity plus two in.
Let's go.
Oh, 16 plus two.
It's 18.
Nice.
You disappear.
And with my disappearance, I would like to go and scoop up.
Oh, God, I'm still in drawing my bag.
OK.
I would like to scoop up Tony.
Nice.
So to lift Tony, I would like you to make me a strength check to lift up Tony.
If you fail the strength check, you can still drag him away.
I'm going to need you to make me a strength.
Well, fuck me.
Natural.
With a ball peen hammer.
So you try to lift him and Tony is more heavyweight than you thought.
We'll make this canon.
Tony's a little bit.
What are you made of?
Rocks?
That belly is dense.
But you can drag him away.
Which is a lot of blood.
So it should be a lot lighter.
I can actually do blood splatter.
That's cool.
All right.
So where do you drag him to?
I would like to drag him out of the visceral zone of the fight back towards where he came.
All right.
Cool.
Do that.
Drag Tony away.
Nice.
All right.
I'll do it.
Okay.
The Minotaur is a lot going on.
Y'all got a lot going on.
I'm going to get this out of here so I can kind of read a little bit.
The Minotaur is to make two attacks and his first attack is going to be cleave.
He's going to brace and spin his massive axe hitting not only Bomblin, but also hitting
fuckass with his massive axe.
He's got plus two.
Oh no!
Not fuckass!
I don't care about him.
I know.
Not fuckass.
He's got plus two to weapon effort, but first is plus four strength.
That is a 13.
9 plus 4 is 13.
Yes.
But do we hit fuckass?
We do.
We hit fuckass.
He has plus two weapon effort.
That's a six.
That's two.
That's eight.
Fuckass has two HP left.
He swings around and slices up fuckass a little bit.
Then he looks up and he sees you.
He makes the connection.
He knows you're casting magic on this zombie boy.
And he holds out his hand like this and he throws a fire beam right at you, Raz.
I'm going to roll for magic, which he has plus four magic effort.
Oops.
I rolled it before I switched.
That's fine.
That's a 13, which doesn't hit the target number of 16.
It fizzles in his hand and he looks down and he's mad.
It comes back to Bomblin.
Nice try, asshole.
Yeah, go ahead.
What do you do, Bomblin?
I'm going to push him in the doorway or the portal.
Okay.
The way this works, contested strength.
So you do your strength versus his.
He has a plus four strength.
As you try to push him, he tries to embrace back.
So it could fail.
All right, ready?
Yeah, three, two, one.
I got a 90-20.
Damn it.
Did you try to push him?
I thought that was his.
Nope, that was my natural 20.
Son of a bitch.
Yeah, you try to push him.
He's like, no.
No.
All right, Bomblin.
Anything else you want to do?
I don't think there is anything else I can do.
I feel like shove is kind of like a bonus action, so you can still do a regular action.
A regular action.
I will attack with my greatsword.
It's reroll now, Nate.
Excuse me, is my reroll.
It doesn't hit.
You're 10.
You got to beat the target number of 15.
Target number 15.
That's it.
It's been a while since Nate's been using commands.
He's like, give it to us.
What?
Reroll.
All right, that's it.
So there you go.
Yabs.
Hey, who's rerolling?
Is it me on the 90 20?
I feel like it's me on the 90 20.
I feel like it is.
Yeah.
But after Bomblin, it's going to be Raz.
Do you know what you're going to do?
I do know what I'm going to do.
All right.
What is your strength in total?
You got a two on your strength roll, Bomblin.
Yeah, so I have a five.
A five in total.
So he has to get a one to fail.
It's just absolutely fail.
Yeah.
OK.
That's an 18.
So he still succeeds.
That's really good.
Still succeeds.
All right, Raz, what do you do?
All right.
Well, first, I'm going to command fuck ass to get down on his knees and hands behind
the Minotaur.
OK.
Hold on.
There's a where is it?
Token controls.
Right behind the Minotaur.
We'll just we'll let that happen.
There we go.
All right.
And then I am going to sprint towards the Minotaur at full speed and do a jump midair
kick and fucking say God is great.
Tabletop his ass.
OK.
What we'll do is I will give you advantage on this role because you're sprinting and
because you had the use of fuck ass.
All right.
And Bob, when you see him running, I'm assuming you step out of the way.
All right.
So roll it.
And again, it's going to be a strength check, though.
All right.
He's got a plus four advantage.
Right.
Yeah.
So roll it twice.
Oh, no.
Twelve plus your strength, which you do not have.
So it's a 12.
I don't have any strength.
So he has to get an eight or lower.
We go.
I mean, Ned Brace Minotaur.
Yeah, dude.
He's got another 90 20.
And let's chat.
Let's use the chance card command.
You can.
But it's looking like that's not going to happen.
It's not going to happen.
God dang it.
I still want to use.
There's two chance cards in there.
They can make something an automatic that one.
So in the in the chance cards.
So all right.
T three five seven.
What do you do?
I have a question.
OK.
What's your question?
Can I use loot from one of my can I use a piece of one of my loot and put it in another
piece of my loot?
I think so.
But what are you trying to do?
I would like to take the leather strips from my vendors toolbox and put them in my sister
of all things within my system to make bandages for Tony.
Yeah, that's pretty cool.
I like that you can make medical shit out of leather strips.
I love that.
That's a really cool idea.
I'm almost think if it's a role, but the item doesn't require a role.
And since you you're already doing something of equal or lesser value, that's cool.
That's badass.
I say you do that.
So you put them in there.
You open up your door, put your leather strips in there, and then you're standing there and
everyone looks at you and you hear a little light shining.
I've never been so happy to have bumped my head and remember this was in here.
Ding like a microwave and you open it up and steam comes out and there's two bandages there.
Ding.
And for everyone who doesn't know, this is a magical item called the shifter of many
things.
She can put things in the sifter and it will replace it with something else of equal or
lesser.
My chest cavity is a glorified rock tumbler.
True.
Very true.
So you do that.
You have these bandages now.
So as an action, you can heal him.
I believe since you're using a medical item, it's actually you heal him for one D10 of
medicine.
There's a few ways you can heal in this game.
You can just use your whole action to heal and you get to just heal for your constitution
bonus just at any point while you're playing.
The second one is like magic, which obviously does one D10.
You could like do mending the one D10, but if one D6, but if you have a medical item,
it does one D10.
I'm pretty sure.
So, yeah, you can heal him.
Sorry.
Long explanation.
Toss and bumbling.
I feel like it has to be a small object.
All right.
So are you going to use your action to heal him up?
Yes, I would like to use my action to heal Tony so we get paid the optimal amount.
Hell yeah.
Roll me one D10.
Let's do it.
A six.
So you get him up to seven.
And as you start wrapping him up, like all of his cuts and bruises and shit, he looks
up to you and he's like, he's like, thanks, robot.
I appreciate that.
And he like kind of gets up on his knees and he looks at you and he's like, thank you guys.
Oh my God.
Thank you guys.
Holy shit.
Thank you.
You are not safe yet.
Please hide behind this corner to stay out of harm's way while the Minotaur is still
attacking.
OK.
All right.
OK.
I'll do that.
He stumbles over to the corner.
Now I was going to get up here, but I'll do it later.
So we go back here.
He steps out of the way over to the corner.
There's a circle over here.
That's funny.
The Minotaur sees what you guys are trying to do.
And now you're all around him again.
He's going to use his cleave ability at plus four to strike all of you while you're all
standing around him.
That is a 12 plus four is a 16.
Ah, doesn't it?
Yeah, but does it?
So do we have to like what does it do with your green crystal?
I have to be hit.
OK.
Once I take damage and then it decreases in value.
OK.
So your AC is what, 20 right now or some shit?
Yes.
All right.
OK.
But he hits you too for a D six plus two.
That's three damage.
So fuck ass.
He slices up fuck ass and his head falls to the ground.
He's like, I don't care about you.
Let us say I.
What if it what if fuck ass like fell back into the portal and then fell into the.
Yeah, you right.
Yeah.
Couch coin fishy.
I love that.
I love that he falls into the portal and as he falls in, you hear to kill up on the other
side of the flail nail tavern.
He's like, no ritual sacrifices.
And fuck, that's false to the portal.
We are technically not in the bar.
That's true.
OK.
Now it's bomblin's turn.
And at the end of Raz's turn, the portal disappears.
Oh, shit, I mean, so now the portal is still open.
Yeah.
Kidding tested strength check as I try to push it in.
All right.
What's for?
I got an 18 so strong.
I got a 15.
I'm a user.
I can't go in.
All right.
We roll that bad boy.
I rolled exactly the same thing.
Roll it again.
Fuck that.
Roll it again.
That's good.
I got a one, everybody.
Just imagine the entire campaign.
He portals enemies into the bar hole.
Yeah, I didn't think about that when he took the door thing.
We're going to talk about that in the next video.
Oh, I already have an idea about that bar.
Yeah.
OK.
All right.
Raz, I guess that ends bomblin's turn unless Chats going to give him a reroll.
That ends bomblin's turn on you now, Raz.
God damn it.
Braith, damn it.
I also do want to say, could be a good thing that you don't have to do that.
I also do want to say, could be a good thing that you don't kill him because he might have
some magical stuff on him.
You never know.
Oh, jeez.
You're going to make me do soul siphon on this asshole.
All right.
I'm going to do soul siphon.
Extract life force from a living target within close range.
Transfer effort rolled from their HP to yours.
All right.
Let's do it.
Roll me a magic.
I got to see if it hits first, right?
Yeah, you have to see if the magic works.
That's bullshit.
I'm using my coin.
Fuck this shit.
OK.
You're lucky.
God.
Braith, why have you forsaken me?
Right.
I am your most loyal follower.
Damn it.
It's a nine.
Hey, we got a YouTube subscriber.
Hey, excellent.
I want to say thank you.
Damn it.
Yeah.
OK.
Well, a nine doesn't activate it.
OK.
Sorry.
Yeah.
You got some bad rolls tonight.
That is your turn.
The portal disappears.
He looks.
But it's two, three, five, seven, sir.
We do.
Because I disappeared at the beginning of the round, is the Minotaur smart enough to
realize that I have moved?
I don't think so.
You haven't attacked.
So technically you haven't come out of hiding yet.
Yeah.
You did heal and you did use a microwave basically that went ding.
But you know what?
That was all role play.
So now you're still hidden.
So could I use my assassin ability?
Yeah, for sure.
If a target does not know I'm there, my first attack cannot miss.
Nice.
Hell yeah.
Attack with my crossbow.
Do you want to roll the 20 anyway?
Because if you get a nat 20, your crossbow does magical things.
So you want to just roll it anyway?
All right.
It's a two.
That's fine.
You can't miss, but that's fine.
All right.
So, Roman, your damage with the crossbow, which is one D six and one D four.
Five.
Five, because you have a plus two in weapons.
So it's five plus two.
That's seven damage.
Your crossbow shoots over the flame on the arrow, goes past Bomblin and Raz and gets
him right in like I like the neck cheek area like he's like, Son of a bitch, you're going
to get it now.
And he shoots a fireball at you, a fire beam.
Plus four.
Dang it.
That's an eight.
It doesn't work.
God damn it.
You're going to get it.
Bomblin.
This guy sucks at magic.
Yeah, we're all going bad.
Yeah, right.
Yeah.
I'm going to bring my great sword down on top of him.
I got to roll the 15.
Nice.
That works.
That hits.
That's awesome.
And we do 10 damage.
10 damage.
Your great sword comes down like slices off his right arm.
His hand falls to the ground.
You see it still got fire in it and blood spurts out of it.
Yeah.
Can't do any token things.
It's glitching out.
It like spurts out of his hand.
And he's like my arm.
And he's like got a thing in his neck and he's he's real fucked up.
Raz.
Yes.
What do you do?
It is my turn.
Yes.
Let's see.
You know what?
I'll go for another intelligence spell.
I'm going to do Arn's Hex.
Nice.
Use Eldritch's words to rot living target from within.
The rot inflicts magic each round for 1d4 rounds.
Oh, yeah.
Well, roll to cast your magic and then let's do your damage.
That's if I hit it.
Damn it.
Right.
Geez.
Come on.
It's a it's a 12.
You miss.
Your magic doesn't work.
I had a really cool thing for this too.
Got to save it.
I did not know you had children, Boblin.
No, I don't.
I found a sewer dog.
Nice.
All right.
T357, it's all on you now.
The thing's almost dead.
What do you do?
May I attempt to shoot my crossbow again?
Yeah, this time you're not hidden, so you're going to have to roll to hit.
Oh, fuck me.
Again, that's a two.
Rolls are killing me.
He's got one arm.
My couch coin.
Yes, you may.
Hey, thank fucking God.
Let's go.
It is the one.
One, two, six and one, two, four.
You go.
And this one.
All right.
Your arrow flies across on fire, gets him right in the head and he's like, No, you will.
He falls down to the ground.
That was over.
He is dead.
Finally, Tony, I picked up his hand that's still like spewing out fire.
Yeah, absolutely.
Absolutely.
What do you do with it?
Can I make this a magical weapon as a Minotaur hand that can cast a spell?
Well, if we're looting, hell yeah, I'm down with that.
There was going to be another thing that did flame thing.
But if you want to use the head instead for flavor text, that's fine.
It's still like spewing fire.
Yeah.
This guy's name was Grum Char.
So this will be the head of Grum Char and the head of Grum Char.
Hand.
I love the hand.
All right.
The hand of Grum Char, which will allow you to cast fire blast once per day.
It's just like a beam of fire that can target one target.
I'm going to does magic damage of one detail.
Is this already an item that's an icy RPG?
You think the hand of Grum Char is an item?
No, but the item that you previously had.
No, no, I was just going to give a scroll of fire beam.
That's what I was going to do.
But I love the hand instead.
Yeah.
He also has the axe on him, but he does have one other item that also is not nice.
RPGs will have to type it up.
But you see a necklace around his neck and you pull it off.
What the necklace does is that if you go from more than half health down to zero once per
day, you will instead go to one HP, which basically stops you from going to half health
to nothing.
Right.
Like if you have five HP and you take seven instead, you'll just go down to one, which
could basically save your life one time.
Basically, which he didn't get to use.
Focus belt is what it is.
Yeah.
He has 30 health and you guys dwindled him down, so he didn't actually get to use that.
But let's say Raz used his Nova Blast.
That totally would have came in handy.
So anywho, that's the necklace.
So you take the hand.
Who's going to take the necklace?
Well, I think I should take the necklace.
I kind of agree.
All right.
I can just buff out my dance.
All right.
Ting.
Ting, ting.
OK.
As this ends, Tony comes out from behind behind the corner and he.
As a result of all of the torture, you can see his body's messed up.
But at this point, he's got all these bandages on thanks to T357 as he steps out and he's
still kind of limping.
He runs up to you guys.
You can see on his face that he is eternally grateful and he runs right up to you, Raz,
and begins hugging you.
And he squeezes you like this.
Then he runs over to T357, begins hugging you as well.
He's kind of chubbier on the side, but he is a fairly good looking man with beautiful
blondish red hair that's flowing at medium length.
And he just begins hugging you guys.
You can see that his clothes are actually kind of fancy, but they're all torn and tattered
up.
It's kind of the first impression you get of him.
And he stops and looks at you guys and he's like, hey, thank you.
Thank you for saving me.
Well, who sent you?
How did you know I was here?
Thornberry and Cher.
Oh, Cher, Cher.
Cher, Cher, Cher, Cher.
Cher got captured too.
Is Cher OK?
Yes, we found Cher first by accident.
Oh, OK.
That's good.
Yeah.
Thornberry is eccentric, but you know, he's a good friend of mine and I owe you guys a
lot.
I really do.
My family is family of royalty, although my father is kind of missing.
He was the one with all the money, but I have connections.
Anyways, give me back to Thornberry and I'll see how I can repair you guys.
Yeah.
Well, that'd be great.
Do you think you can open a door outside of the tavern?
I can.
Yeah.
First, I need to get something done first.
Hold on.
I'm going to reach down in the middle towards body.
I'm going to place my fingers like this and stick it in the hole in the side of its arm
and then turn my hand like a key and reanimate it.
Oh, well, I forgot to say earlier when you did it earlier, it was just so funny.
I forgot to say the dot disappeared.
It was like a one.
Oh, son of a.
Damn it.
OK, well, I'm going to have to do this manually.
I'm going to go ahead and cast doorway and open it above the hole again.
And then I'm just going to kick the middletar's corpse through the portal.
Hey, hey, no bodies.
The body falls through the portal.
You can see it clunking along and he's like, no bodies.
And you see his head hovering over the hole.
He's like, no bodies.
I don't know what you're talking about.
I am an all powerful being.
And then I close the door and then I open up a door on the outside of the tavern.
And then we walk through.
OK, before you walk through, does anybody want to search this area first?
Yes.
Behind the throne.
There you go.
There are still more rooms and other kinds of stuff.
But behind the throne is a tiny little chest and you can clearly see it as you walk around,
so you don't need to roll for it.
But he says the tiny little chest.
Hold on.
You open it up and tucked behind the stone chair in the small chest is two potions of
healing.
There is 16 gold pieces, 82 silver pieces and 250 copper as well as.
It looks like there are five poison bolts for a crossbow.
It'll do poison damage and one before poison.
And I can copy this into our chat.
Can I just do it right here?
I can.
Yay.
So you guys can then do whatever you want to do with that.
So there are other rooms, but you guys can just fuck off if you want to.
Would you consider this dungeon cleared?
Yeah.
Can we montage loot this place?
I don't know.
It's kind of like I'm running over to this door.
Kick that door open.
What up in here?
Oh, this looks like a jail cell.
Wow.
There's cobwebs and everything.
Straw pallets lie on the floor and rusty manacles are bolted to the walls.
Fucking jail cell.
Yeah.
It's also Q10 straw pallets lie on the floor and rusty manacles are on the walls.
There you go.
This room here.
Yeah.
This room here in the middle of this otherwise empty room looks to be a stone pillar that
has purple eyes carved all over it.
And in the center, there's a small symbol, a perfect circle with six little lines coming
out of it.
A bunch of different spokes basically radiating outwards from its circumference.
In the middle of the circle is a smaller circle, but it's an indentation in the shape of an
eye.
Fucking creatures singing it.
Ah,
I'm just rushing through everything.
Q10 again, nothing, nothing.
Okay.
So you're right.
You pretty much looted everything.
There are just multiple exits that lead to other places and new areas to discover.
But if you want to just go directly back to the tavern, we can do that.
I'm going to loot this goblin real quick.
Oh, so what I killed at the very beginning, he's got one D12 copper and a crossbow.
So he's got six copper and a crossbow.
There you go.
Was this dice roll for accident?
Probably.
All right.
Okay.
The doorway lies open.
You guys ready to head back?
Um, let me see here.
Okay.
Do all of you guys step into the portal?
Yeah, sure.
Yes.
All right.
Yes, I will help Tony through.
Right.
You helped Tony through.
He's got him over your shoulder and he's just thanking you the whole time.
He's like, thank you.
Thank you.
So we're on the inside of the flail and ale tavern.
On the inside, it's fairly bustling as it normally is.
And before you get to go inside, we have to complete this quest.
We're actually going to take another five minute break and lowering the target number
to 13 because it's a brand new scene, baby.
All right, so we're going to take a quick five minute break, everybody.
We'll be right back in five.
Now that our dungeon delving is over for the night.
There's a quick little skim there that dungeon at the end.
That's fun, though.
Thumbnail pose.
Everyone pretend like you're on a log ride or your arms up.
You're on a log ride.
But don't go too high up to be cut off on camera.
Make sure they're still in camera.
There you go.
Log ride.
Badass.
Hey, Sony, what's up, dude?
Work was rough.
Sorry about that.
But welcome to the show.
We're about to take our five minute break.
The guys just finished the dungeon.
That's all you missed.
There was some information scattered in there, but it's pretty good.
So we're going to take a quick break and we'll be right back.
It's me.
Welcome back to Love, Death and Dice.
This is episode three.
I'm so excited to be here.
I love rolling dice.
This is my favorite day of the week.
I get to roll some dice with all my friends and all you frigging lovely nerds and chat.
I'm very excited to be here, to be doing this.
We're in act three of this third episode here.
Our heroes just managed to find Tony Neverember and they're returning to the flail in ale
to find Mr. Thornberry to get the reward for their quest.
Yeah.
So that's, that's where we're at.
That's where we're at.
Welcome back, guys.
How you feeling?
How you doing?
I feel like we just accomplished a quest.
I think so too.
Let me change our background.
I finally feel like I'm getting a held on this universe.
Right.
Getting a little bit of a hold on that bad boy.
Okay, we're going to do the same we're just listening to.
Do.
All right.
You guys come out of the portal.
The doorway shuts behind you.
You've got Tony Neverember under one arm.
You look up to see all the windows of hustle and bustle of people inside of the tavern.
You walk inside to the flail in ale and you can see right away Thornberry leaning in his
chair, two legs up, pipe in his mouth, just waiting for the return.
But before you're able to even make your way, drink over to him.
I gotta crack this open.
Cheers.
Tequila.
The bartender locks eyes with you, Reverend Raz.
And he goes, hey, hey, what'd I say?
No dead bodies.
I know that was you.
What are you talking about, man?
We just got here from across town.
We saved this guy.
I don't know what you're referring to.
I didn't see you through that portal.
I looked through that portal.
What portal?
You're crazy.
Man, it's hard.
Wow.
Well, it is ancient.
Nobody knows absolutely no spells anymore.
No way you can see the bottom of the pit bumbling.
But roll me a deception.
Reverend Raz, let's do it.
What would that be?
Carissa Carisma.
Yeah.
13.
Whatever it doesn't matter.
Got a natural 20, everybody.
Jesus.
Give yourself a mastery point.
Yeah.
How many mastery points is that?
Two for him this episode.
In total, I have six.
This is bullshit.
90-20!
Thanks, Sora.
He's like, maybe that wasn't you.
Could have been another death guild person following Ned Braith, wearing the red that
I see into that portal.
OK, you just remember the rules.
And he goes back to whatever he was doing.
And he taps the poster.
He taps the poster.
Can I do this?
And then I'm going to look towards the ceiling and say, thanks, God.
Thanks for having my back, God.
Can drag and drop images in this motherfucker?
OK.
I'm going to have to get me a new extension so I can drag and drop images into this area
here.
I'll just do it this way.
It's fine.
It's totally fine.
Everything's fine.
You see?
Oh, dang it.
Is this set up right?
Uh-oh.
There you go.
You see?
Thornberry.
Berry Thornberry.
I'm echoing through you again, Connor, but it's OK.
You see Berry Thornberry as he sees you.
He stands up.
He's like, oh, it's my very best friend, Tony.
And he runs over and gives him a hug.
And Tony hugs him back.
And he's like, yeah, man, thank you so much for sending these guys to save me.
And they sit down together and he pours him a drink and hands it to him.
And he goes, my friends, my friends, come sit, my friends.
It's good to see you.
It's good to see you guys, too.
I will oblige in the sitting.
Nice.
You sit down and he's like, come on, my friend Raz, my friend Raz in Bomb Lane.
Sit down.
Come come have a drink with Thornberry.
Oh, there's only one chair at your table for some reason.
That's weird.
Yeah.
My friends, thank you for saving my friend, Tony.
Today I must confess.
I have but few coins to spare on this day.
But let it be said that Mr. Thornberry, hold on.
Never let it be said, Mr. Bomb Lane, that Thornberry never stops on his promises.
Allow me to present something of much more value to all of you.
And he holds out a scroll tube and he taps on it with his finger.
And he's like, this right here, I have just came into my position.
You see this right here is the deed to a remarkable property right here in common steel.
It is the deed to a property.
Now we will need a magistrate to witness the transfer of ownership, of course.
And I can arrange a meeting with one.
Of course, after once you've expected the estate and you've deemed it satisfactory of
our transaction.
Do you have this like is this property like real or do we have to imagine it or can we
just choose what property it is?
I promise you today that it is a very real property.
Please tell me it's this building.
I love this building.
It's got a huge fucking death pit in the middle.
But I promise you, once you have the deed to this, you can build your own death pit
if that's what you want.
Is it in an area with a lot of no war ford signs?
I don't think so.
But you have no fear, my friend T357, for you can put up your own signs in your own
building.
You can even start it up as your own business to teach the others that you accept everyone.
Am I right?
Not with this gang.
So you're telling me that we got a deed to a house that do what we wanted?
Indeed, my friend, it is a manner of sorts.
Used to be from what I know a tavern that closed the owner and the workers and they
may have died there.
But that's besides the point.
You see, I came into this property for I read books of the land, you know, you ever heard
of Thornberry's Monsters, the guide, you know, Thornberry spells.
Well, I was writing a book of Thornberry spells and spirits inspectors, you see, and I came
across this to try and study the home.
But you know, nothing came about.
So I give to you now and you may have.
Thanks.
Well, I sure hope it's built by the same architect that built this tavern.
Because, gee, golly, I want a giant hole in my floor.
You can do whatever you want with it.
Now, I arrange the meeting with the magistrate.
Now, of course, there is a 25 gold piece tax for transferring over, you know, membership
of forms.
I hope you guys have 25 gold.
Do you not?
And then Tony finishes his drink, slams it down, gets it all over the place.
Like I just did right here.
And he goes, I'll pay the 25.
I'll pay for them.
This saved my life.
I'll pay for them.
Oh, that's cool.
Thank you, Tony.
How gracious.
Good man.
Good man, Tony.
Good man.
Yeah, this man here, Tony, he's got connections and high places.
That's why I keep him close.
You know, he can get if you ever need to talk to someone in, you know, royalty, not the king,
of course, but you know, anyone in his undership, like the Yarls, anything like that.
Tony can get you a range of meeting.
His father, you see, was very his father was very rich.
His father disappeared.
There are rumors of what happened to him.
But Tony is an important man.
Ain't that right, Tony?
He's like, yeah, man, whatever you say, I'm important.
You seem to have a good human heart, Tony.
Oh, thanks.
To come by.
Yeah, you know, hearts.
Do you have a heart?
I don't know your war for sure, wherever.
That is an excellent question.
I still do not know much about my inner workings.
Yeah, me either.
Me either.
Thornberry, you know, Civil War Forged, he's like, well, no, I've been studying them.
They're fairly new in in taxica.
I know they were made for the war.
I do not know their inner workings.
I know you had questions if you have a soul or not.
And I don't know.
Do you know a maker by the name of Pendergast?
Pendergast.
Yes, I've heard this name.
I've heard this name Pendergast.
Is this something you're interested in?
Yes, that would be my creator on the maker's mark.
Oh, did he put a mark on your ass?
He did.
Hmm.
Yes, that's one thing I know about war forges that their makers mark their asses.
It's true.
Well, I can look into this name Pendergast.
I can see if I can come up with something.
Now, if you're at the manor, I know where to find you.
I can come.
I can I know any information.
I am a man of learning, so I will bring in for to you.
I enjoy learning.
All right, that's good news.
That's good news.
Okay, so you guys drink a little bit with Thornberry and Tony hang out, you know, you
eat some food, whatever is Mr. Tequila eyeballs you the whole time as you hang out in the
flail and now you guys have completed your first official quest in this campaign.
Congratulations.
Seeing that that is the case, you guys will get a level two milestone reward.
All right.
Three guys to use.
Now you can put it into a milestone in a path to get that level two.
If you're already there, you could spin it as a level one right now if you want, or you
can save it and hold on to it for whenever you actually get enough to be able to get
a level two milestone reward.
All right.
Congratulations.
Congratulations on your level up, everybody.
Hey, you may have to explain that again.
That's okay.
I will.
No worries.
After the night ends, Thornberry in the morning after you guys crash here, the flail and now
in the morning, he takes you to the magistrate.
You guys go to a small little courthouse.
I'm in the south ward of common steel where the transaction happens.
They transfer the name of the deed of the home into your guys's hands.
And of course, Tony pays for the 25 gold.
I don't think there's much reason to role play that completely out.
But afterwards, Tony and Thornberry go with you to a place called Trollskull Alley right
here in common steel.
It's located of course in the north ward where we've already been.
As you get there, let me see here, you eventually see the manner.
He leads you all the way there.
And the manner itself, I can give you guys a handout of the actual like layout of the
manner, which I can do.
But let me see here.
I'm going to explain what it looks like at least from the outside.
And I do actually have a foundry map of it as well.
I'm so we can actually explore it a little bit.
But the building is four stories tall.
It has balconies, it looks like it has some old beat up crossbow turret at the top of
it and it has five chimneys.
You can look and see that this building is pretty much abandoned, but it is one of the
grandest buildings here in Trollskull Alley.
You guys have the ability to refurbish, rebuild and rename this place and otherwise personalize
it as much as you want to your friggin hearts content.
But from the outside, you can see how the windows are boarded up.
The place is in complete disarray and it will take a lot of gold to rebuild it if that's
what you guys decide that you want to do.
It's filled with broken furniture, tarnished silverware, casks of wine that have basically
turned into vinegar and worthless old moldy food.
And the other rooms here are full of cobwebs and dust and even harmless rats, it seems.
Forge Lord is like death pit, death pit, death pit.
You say it is four stories, but does it have a basement?
No it goes up, not down.
Here we go.
Here's our manor.
You guys can place your tokens anywhere on here if you want to walk around in it, but
this is the first floor of our manor.
It's pretty much in disarray.
That's weird.
A black screen, hold on let me.
Oh I think I know why.
I know why.
It's at the foundry side.
Yeah, yeah I know why.
You gotta drop your tokens on there, that's why.
That's okay.
Why did you look like that?
Huh?
I see, I see, okay.
It's on here twice for some reason.
I want this one.
Oh it's display capture that's why.
Sorry y'all.
One sec, everybody watching, one sec.
There we go.
Can you guys see now?
Yes.
There you go.
This is the first floor of the building.
Thornberry walks in with you and he's like, so what do you think?
Is it new home or what?
It's pretty good, but there's no giant hole in the floor.
Well of course you can make a big hole if you want.
You can also make a hole outside or I don't know.
You know, maybe you can light fire.
You have big old fire pit you drop people in.
I don't know.
Ah not a fire pit.
I just want to want a hole built.
A hole built, okay.
Now there are stairs outside that go to the second floor.
That's where you can stay, you can live, you can do whatever you want to do.
I have to do this again I guess.
There you go, there's you know stairs up there.
You can walk around up there.
Of course there's a tower, you know, whatever, whatever.
Pretty nice.
You know, old building.
I love you guys just moving your freaking things around just checking it out.
And oh sorry that was the third floor that we went to.
This here is the second floor actually.
My bad, my bad.
Raz just looking around for a big old pit.
There's no holes in the ground.
I don't see one.
I found the shitter.
He did too.
I found my room.
I caught dibs.
It's a circle realm.
This is room the bumblin or bumblin den.
Okay.
If you find any good closet space that I am amenable to that as a room.
I love this fog of war.
Yeah exactly you got it for it.
Sweet digs.
Thanks Tess.
Good luck finding yours.
That big house.
Oh I see the fog of war is on.
Maybe this will help you all.
I found another shitter.
There.
Does it help?
Can you just see the whole thing now?
Man, the previous owners of this house really must have liked shitting.
There we go.
We just turned the fog of war off.
It'll make things way easier for y'all.
Wait am I downstairs?
No, no, no, no, no.
You're on the second floor with everyone else.
There we go.
I can't grab myself.
This is floor three.
Maybe because I turned token vision off but you can see everything now right?
Oh now I can move.
Haha look at me go.
Look at you go.
All right so he's like I don't actually have the map for it.
I don't know.
I didn't realize in here it said four floors.
I thought it was only three floors so let's look into that.
I'll figure it out by next week.
He's like so is this was a good transaction between us and you, correct?
Yes, this was adequate.
All right.
It's really nice.
I mean you can fix it up.
You can do whatever you want with it.
You know just sleep in it.
You could make it a whole tavern if you want.
You know run your own business or whatever you want to do.
For now me and Tony have places to be so we'll see you guys around.
Good luck with your new home and let me know if you see anything weird or fishy.
Okay?
Yes, thank you.
All right.
Take care of Tony.
Keep your eyes on him this time.
All right.
I'll do my best.
Yeah.
You have quite a toothy eufula.
True.
So they leave you guys spend some time kind of searching around this place figuring out
what you're going to make your rooms and everything else like that.
At this point you guys are at Trollskull.
Trollskull Alley.
Let me configure this.
Let me make sure that the ambiance is off.
So here is what the alley looks like.
All right as a whole building right in the middle is your home area.
This one here.
What can I draw?
I'm gonna draw this one here with the circles on it.
That's your home.
But this is Trollskull Alley.
All right.
What is that greenhouse?
So it's some kind of a greenhouse across the street from you guys.
You can tell it's a house by the way that it is.
It's some kind of greenhouse.
So in this alleyway there are a few other shops and you guys are more than welcome to spend
some time getting to know your neighbors over the course of whatever.
There is a place called.
I'm just gonna read these off here these shop names in chat if you're there if you want
to throw out some names of shops please use the name of thing and go ahead.
All right but for now there is a place called the Bent Nail.
There's a small wooden sign above this shop.
The door is bare except the bent nail sticking out of it.
In the front room contains ornate furniture.
So it looks like some kind of a furniture store.
There's another place called Steam and Steel.
And during daylight hours steam billows from the many windows.
This looks like it's some kind of an indoor forge where they make weapons armor tools
etc.
The third one is called Cory Lynn's Crown which is a huge greenhouse kind of building
full which basically is where an herbalist works.
There's a guild of apothecaries that kind of operate out of here and physicians stuff
like that.
This half off nice.
What's up Nate?
How you doing?
Thanks for joining us.
Are you streaming again?
I meant to ask you.
As if you are.
You're gonna let me know.
Anyways Cory Lynn's Crown.
Tiger's Eye which seems to be some kind of a detective business.
You've got Bookworms Treasure.
It's full of books all kinds of books and stuff.
And there is a final place which is a sewer access down at the very end of the alleyway
that brings you down into the sewer.
And that is a couple of your neighbors.
Morbid Masterpieces.
Hell yeah.
There's also a shop called Morbid Masterpieces.
I love that.
Just getting massacred by chainsaws a lot in Texas.
Nice dude.
Nice.
I seen you playing then.
I was like is Nate gonna stream that?
Is he gonna stream it?
Okay.
Any questions before I move on?
No.
Do you think Steam and Steel will do custom bus jobs?
They very well might.
And we could go visit them and get about happy ending massages for Warforged?
No.
It's more like a bath house for cleaning.
When I tarnish it takes quite a lot of work to get off.
We know what you Warforged is doing.
Your bath houses.
Yeah.
The same thing you do with your flashlight.
After some time.
There's no secret behind that thing.
We all know what I do to it.
The building, which by the way before the end of the episode we must name this building.
But you guys are in the building for a little while walking around doing your thing.
And after a little while you guys are down on the bottom floor kind of talking about
your plans and what you're gonna do and you're talking about the shops nearby and you know
happy endings and what have you.
And then through the door comes a familiar face.
It's Sylva Strongfist.
The Legion mercenary you helped in the bar brawl in the very beginning episode.
She walks in and stands there with her arms crossed and then walking in behind her is
a smaller looking man.
Let me make sure I save this photo because I can actually show you what he looks like.
The shorter elf with blonde hair.
Walks in behind hold on.
Let me see.
I thought it was gonna let me drag and drop these images, but it actually didn't.
So it's kind of a pain.
Here we go.
He walks in behind.
Can I zoom?
There's no zoom.
All right, whatever.
Why does he got a knife?
He walks in.
Who walks into our house with a knife?
Already in your head.
I do.
Fucking Legion.
Yeah.
You hang out with me every day.
You should be used to this.
We stood on couches of person tests.
Nerds, geeks and freaks.
A part of the couch, a part of the crew.
Hey, Contra may give us a tear one sub to menace.
They've given three subs to the channel.
Thank you.
You friggin rock, buddy.
Cheers.
Thank you so much for supporting the show, friend.
Thank you.
Cheers.
Hello, Silva.
Welcome.
Silva's like, hey, she's a half-orc, but he walks in behind her pointy ears for sure.
An elf.
He looks around place twiddling his dagger and he's like, mmm.
Smells like dust in here.
It's dirty.
Hello.
My name.
Actually, I was going to use a name I came up with, but I want to allow chat for a second
to name this guy.
So chat, if you have any names in mind for this character, use the name thing, chat command
and throw them out into chat.
And we're going to let these guys all roll a D 20 and high roll gets to pick the name.
So going ahead and everybody roll me a high roll.
Let's go.
Nice.
I think it's going to be you.
I don't know.
Maybe Connor, another Nat 20 out of his ass.
More than likely.
17.
I'm going.
11.
All right.
Dumb dagger Danny.
So this actually makes sense.
T three five seven being that you've heard of this man before he is a part of the Legion
faction here in common steel city.
So you actually have heard of him.
So when you see him, you recognize him right away and you know his name.
So he's a half-orc.
He's a half-orc.
And you know his name.
So you could pick one from chat.
And as he walks in in roleplay, once you pick the name, say hello to him using his name.
Should I give them a couple more seconds to put names in?
Yes.
You want to?
He walks around and he goes, I've heard of what you guys have been up to.
He runs his dagger along the wall, pulls some dust off of it and he's like, this place could
use a cleaning.
You call this home?
You just stare, all three of you stared and playing clean.
He's like, I ain't much for silent types, you know, you guys are quiet.
That's okay.
That's all right.
But I was just hoping for a name.
It's okay.
You don't remember me?
You don't remember my name?
You got a few.
You've got a few.
I do.
I'm just trying to figure out which one's not the worst.
Okay, I'm ready to write it down.
Steve Dangler.
Yes, we just acquired this property.
Silvius Ireland.
Pretty good.
We're picking Sora's.
There you go, Sora.
You get a couch coin, Sora.
Good name.
Yes, my name is Silvius Ireland.
Now he walks over to the table and he sits down at this table.
It's all broken and rickety.
He sits in the chair and wiggles it and he's like, he reaches into inside of his vest and
pulls out a flask.
He's like, we must discuss with any of you care to join me out of respect?
Of course, we are in fact of the same guild.
Any pores for everyone?
Yeah, I don't really respect you.
So we keep my bare wits about me.
Okay.
There's nothing that says I can't in my religion.
So
So here's the deal.
We heard what you did.
You saved Tony Neverember from the creature guild.
That's good.
It's very good.
Now I've been requested by the higher ups, you know, the president Gloomingdale of the
Legion to come to you and discuss with you today.
Neverember was not a target of ours, but there is a rogue black network of the Legion here
in Commonsteel.
You see, they came from Oakheart and there's a rogue network.
They're going rogue.
They're not listening to us because you know, the Legion in Commonsteel, we try to operate
legally contracts, receipts.
We don't want to get in trouble with the Knight's Acquisition.
We want to run a fine business.
They operate on Kendall Street.
That's a good point.
You see, we found out that this rogue operation took over the warehouse on Kendall Street
and we're operating out of it illegally underneath Gloomingdale's nose.
So it's become an issue.
You see, the Creature Guild and the Legion faction, we've now been fighting because of
what they did.
They have been fighting and murdering each other.
The goblins and you know, the black network, they're killing each other.
It's caused issues.
They've gone under our noses and tried to kidnap Tony Neverember without our doing so.
You see, Tony has links to a man that well, knows some rumors of maybe possibly where
a lot of money is being hidden inside of a vault, you see.
So they've gone out of their way to kidnap Tony.
Now by you three doing the best that you did and by you saving Tony, you've done a good
deed with the whole Legion faction.
Yes, it is warm in here, your building needs air conditioning, needless to say.
Well, I mean...
Oh, I know how to solve that.
Hold on.
No, no.
Please do not open another astral door.
No, I'm not going to open a portal to a weird place.
I'm just going to open it to a...
Hey, does that tavern have AC, the one that we were in the other day?
Sure.
Alright, then I open a portal there in the bathroom.
Just like by the vent.
Yeah, by the vent.
Cold air flows in.
Oh, so much better.
This magic is good.
And in that instant, Silva Stonefist, she's been sitting on a chair this whole time, the
chair breaks and Silva falls to the ground.
She's like, oh, sorry.
Sorry.
He's like, yes.
Anyways, you've all done good.
I know T3570 have been demoted to babysitter.
But being that this quest has gone as well as it has, we're bringing you back up to quester,
no longer babysitter.
But this brings me to my next question.
Raz Bomblin, you both owe a very huge sum of money to the Legion.
Now, because of you've shown your willingness to help us, you can go on quests for us to
pay it off instead of paying in money.
Just small things.
Take a thing here, deliver a thing there, investigate something here, maybe murder a
gnome in a shop downtown by the dock ward.
Okay, whatever you want.
I'm all on board as long as it serves my god.
Okay.
Does your god have anything against...
Go ahead, sorry.
May I provide you with information on the Candle Street warehouse?
We were there.
Absolutely, absolutely.
Once we're done here, I would like you to fill me in so I can fill in Gloomingdale.
That would be good.
And I'll let him know that you gave me this information.
It will reaffirm your promotion.
When, as he is talking, may I find Parfrand and a quill to start auto writing all of the
information I have internally recorded?
Absolutely you can.
That's badass.
And he looks at you two and he's like, okay, so I brought Silver Stonefist here with me
today.
Does your god have anything against brands or tattoos?
No, he's pretty cool with them.
Okay, what about you Bumbling?
I don't think you're gonna try and brand me.
Well you see if you want to join the Legion, you must either brand or tattoo a logo on
your body somewhere.
I think that's why you're getting this misunderstood.
I never said I would join the Legion, but I will work for you.
Right.
You see that is the same thing.
And if you want to work for us, there's a lot of sensitive information that will be
passed along.
So you must show your loyalty to us.
If you do not want to join, that is fine.
You may pay off your debt on your own with your gold.
But this means that these guys will quest and you will pay off the gold on your own.
What does this tattoo look like?
It is a snake in a circle and the snake has wings.
The snake has wings?
Yes, sir.
That's kind of cool.
All right, well I'll get started on it.
Okay and Silva comes over.
She sits in a chair next to you.
She's got a brand in one hand and like this little makeshift tattoo thing in the other.
And she's like, well, what's it going to be sweetheart?
Give me the snakey snake.
Do you want the brand?
Tattoo?
Okay.
On my hand.
The back of it.
And she starts poking you in the skin.
Then he turns to you, Bumbley, and he's like, T357 is a, you know, T357.
I have a metal embossing on my inner casing and open up the panel to where my sister of
many things is to reveal the emblem.
Nice.
Fucking badass.
Badass.
That's what exactly I was hoping for.
You get a couch coin.
And he looks at you.
He's like, so we'll see you Bumbley.
I know this is a hard choice.
It is not a choice you have to make today, but time will come and you must make this
choice.
My suggestion is for you to get it somewhere hidden, being that the wars are raging and
the Knights acquisition are looking for our symbol.
Yeah, see that doesn't, that doesn't make any sense.
Like I understand organized crime and sense of loyalty, but you're just, you're, you're
tattooing a target on yourself.
Yes.
It's a symbol of loyalty because you see.
You don't think I don't already have enough targets on myself, let alone painting your
snaky snake on my ball sack?
To hell with you.
That's what we brought to you.
We're about the brand.
We know you are.
Covered in fur.
The deal is Bumbley, if one of us goes down, we all go down.
That's the deal.
That sounds even worse.
When this guy goes and pushes another guy down a hole and everybody goes, it takes the
fall for him.
You do not trust your friend.
This guy, this guy yells at walls.
Who will trust him?
What does he say?
Two people into red mist earlier.
Power.
It's good to have an allegiance side.
You see, it comes with benefits as well.
Bumbling, you see, say you get into fights or you get caught up for stealing something
like that.
The Legion will come and have your back.
We will bail you out of jail.
We will help you in the fights.
We'll provide you with ships when you need.
And in return, you do what you do.
The higher you level up with us, the more we are willing to do for you.
So it's not only if one goes down, we all go down.
But if one benefits, we all benefits.
Yeah, you're not talking me into your cult there, buddy.
I'm already part of one cult.
Can't handle two.
All right, that's fine.
It's not a cult.
It's organized religion and it's fantastic.
What they will say today.
You are the only one in the is there more is there more of you?
T357 and oh, yes, there are very many of the death guilt.
We have one more actually in the Legion as it is now.
Call to the soul that crystal dildos.
There you go.
What I will say then, Raz and T357, you must keep an eye on Bumbling and your party.
Bumbling is not allowed to ever have money.
You must provide his money directly to us, continuing and moving forward.
We already have that plan in place from the previous deal in which I was installed.
Good, good, good.
Keep that going.
Now you two will.
So my life hasn't changed.
Exactly.
And you two can go on quests for us and we will continue to provide you with money and
things that you need.
I'm even for your business here.
See, we'll be in contact with you soon.
We will send a snake, a flying snake that will bring you information on what you are
to do next.
And Silva finishes up your tattoo, puts it in your hand.
Oh, that's great.
It's pretty bad ass, Connor.
What the fuck?
Yeah, dude, look at that.
Yeah, you get a couch going to Connor.
Bad ass prop, prop points, prop points.
He stands up and he begins to leave and he before he does, he turns around and he says,
yes, here is all the information on the warehouse on Candlestree from my recollection.
And I hand him three rolled up scrolls of information.
He quickly reads through them.
And he's like, the stone.
You've seen the image of the stone.
It was on a wall.
He throws it back up and he's like, this is good information.
Thank you on this day.
I will take it back.
You may get rewarded now for this information.
Then he pulls out 20 coins in a little pouch and throws it to you.
20 gold.
He's like, good job for this.
Now just remember you three.
Here is a rolled cult of the Black Network trying to identify themselves as Legion.
You keep an eye out for them and you kill them when you see them.
Silva!
Holds up her hand and they leave together.
Bye.
Bye Silva.
Bye bye.
See ya.
Come on, let's get out of here.
Do they have identifying markings, did he say?
No he didn't.
He did not.
Now as they're leaving, they bump into what looks to be two younger elven kids walking
in.
And they're both wearing green cloaks.
One of them has a staff that's completely wooden and at the top it's all twisty and
crazy.
They're two elven younger looking kids.
And they walk in, they bump into them, they give them bad eye contact and then they walk
in and they're like, oh, sorry, you just started a new business here.
We actually heard from Thornberry that you guys did really cool stuff.
Yeah, sorry.
Are you guys already with the Legion?
Should we leave?
Chaos card.
What are you suggesting, small children?
I'm drawing a chaos card.
Yeah you are.
Let's do that first here.
This is the first chaos card we're actually going to draw with foundries.
This is very exciting.
Thank you, Suni.
You fucking rock, buddy.
Chaos card.
Yeah.
We're going to draw randomly and we're going to draw it.
What is it?
Action comics.
You could take one additional action on your turn slash your first turn in combat.
It's fucking badass.
Action comics.
And I know you're like, there's no combat.
So you actually get to take this card and keep it for the next episode and you can actually
use it the next episode.
Yeah, it's badass.
So we're actually going to put it in your hand cards in hand, Connor, and we're going
to send it over to you.
So now you can see over there, there's a section that says cards.
It's like one of those over there and you actually see that it's in your hand.
Cards in hand, Connor.
There we go.
You've activated my trap card.
Yeah.
Activated my trap card.
Action comics.
They walk in and they're like, we're with, sorry, this is our first time.
We're with the mystics and magic.
We're with the Emerald Enclave.
We heard the good that you did and we're actually coming to see if you're interested in, in
like joining our faction.
But if you're already with the Legion, I mean like that's fine.
We can just leave.
Have you thought about making an alliance with the Legion?
Oh no.
We um.
With all of the street fights going on.
And he's like, oh no.
Uh, no.
And then by their feet, a cat wanders in by their feet and they both stop and kind of
look at it.
And the cat wanders over on the ground and starts rubbing up on Bomblin's legs.
Hi, Gary.
Yeah.
And as it, as you pet it, you hear only you in your mind, you hear, are you interested
in joining the Emerald Enclave?
Meet us at the cemetery in the Southern Ward.
All right.
Good quest heard and interested.
He's like, anything better than the Legion.
That's one of our cat.
Yeah.
So we, we're all about preserving magic and animals here in common steel.
Anyways, if you want to do quests with us or whatever, just listen to what the cat says
and they turn around quickly and stumble over each other and walk out the door and the cat
Meryl turns back and looks at you and you can see this burning green magic in the cat's
eyes and then it turns and rushes out the door.
Huh?
Follow what the cat says.
What did the cat say?
The cat said, uh, cat said if I wanted to join the mystics of magic and the Emerald
Enclave and to go down to the monster mash down at the graveyard.
Well, we can't do that.
We've already committed to the other one.
Well, see, this is why you don't commit the things, Reverend.
I thought you were already committed to good Lord Bray.
Oh yes.
Above all, the order goes, uh, God, um, me and then everything else at the bottom.
You be exploring the graveyard.
Well, I might go and see what they got to offer.
See what reward look like, you know, the signing on bonus, make sure there's not dumb, stupid
tattoo or branding or paint job.
As you're discussing, you don't end up in debt with two groups.
There's no way I could possibly be ever be indebted to two groups.
I find that hard to believe.
Oh, maybe you're just going to have to show up next week to find out what happens.
Yeah.
So one last thing I'm going to say is that people from guilds, the carpenters guild,
the furniture building guild, the plumbers guild, the roofing guild, shit like that,
all over town kind of start showing up over the past couple of days.
They interviewed, they talked to you and introduced themselves to you and basically let you know
that they're here to help you rebuild your building.
If that's something you want to do.
And out of everything, tavern upkeeping expenses.
And I'll even copy this into chat.
It's going to be a big old ball of text though.
So basically as a one time expense, it'll cost you a thousand gold to completely renovate
this whole tavern over the course of 12 days is the length that they estimate that'll take
to rebuild it.
Then if you want licenses for distributing any kind of liquor or food, anything else
like that, and you want people to be able to help you doing that, you can actually license
workers from the other guilds.
It'll cost you 250 gold paid upfront.
So in total that's 1250 if you want to renovate it.
And then if you want to actually turn into a business, it's 250.
So a thousand, 250.
What I will tell you is per week, not like show week, but like per week in game, it costs
50 gold for upkeep and for hirelings and 10 gold for all the other guild expenses.
But at the end of every week, you actually get to make a roll.
And if you roll high, you'll actually make money from your tavern.
And if you roll low, you'll actually lose money, have to pay more out if you want to
continue running the tavern.
That's kind of what you get out of all of that.
And we can go over that.
It's something to think about over the course of the next week.
If you want to open and run this tavern, if you want to turn it into a different business,
if there's something you guys want to do, or if you just want to keep it as your own
little home base, you can right here in the center of Trollskull Alley.
And that, my friends, is where we're going to end the episode for the night.
So you guys resting, one long rest here in your tavern.
And when we come back, while we're on break, I want you guys to think about the name of
this building.
What are you going to call it?
Do you want to turn it into a business?
I don't know.
We could talk about that when we get back for a short rest.
Being this is the final break of the night, we're not going to do a thumbnail pose.
But if you guys have clipped anything over the course of the night, taken any kind of
screenshots, if you were drinking anything fun, eating anything fun, if you were doing
literally anything, take a selfie even and post it in the love, death and dice section
of our discord so we can review it while we're in our short rest.
That'd be fucking badass.
We'd love to see what you guys were doing tonight, what you were getting into, how things
went with you.
You know what I mean?
If you have any opinions on the show tonight or anything about your favorite characters
or whatever, also just post it in there.
Type it up, post it in there, and we'll read it and go over it tonight.
And we'll be right back for our short rest.
If you're watching on YouTube, thank you so much for watching all the way to the end.
Please subscribe.
We really do appreciate that.
We are only a few away from 600.
So at this point in time anyway.
So make sure to subscribe.
Thank you so much.
And go to the merch store to get yourself this year's school couch shirt.
Yeah, cool couch merch on the store.
There's this and there is crop tops too.
It's fucking badass.
Someone's already been to the store.
Shit.
All right, we'll be right back and five.
Well, I think we have to take the full 10 so these guys can take their makeup off, but
we'll be right back and we're going to do our short rest.
Thank you guys.
We'll be right back.