Welcome everybody to Love, Death and Dice the Dragon Vault.
Our brand new lawful evil high fantasy campaign episode one begins tonight.
We're so excited.
Thank you all so much for joining us and being here and being fricking awesome.
I am your lovely dungeon master for the night, DM Turk.
And I'm here with three of my dang old best friends and GrouchCats crew members
and just folks that I love rolling dice with.
So I'm so happy to be here.
Of course, introduce yourselves left to right, start right to left, starting with Fishy.
What's up, Fishy? How's it going?
What's up, guys? We're back again.
We're doing it again. Guys, I'm so excited.
We're starting a whole new season and like, man, it's it's been a long journey
just getting to here and then looking back on the journey to get to here
was a journey in itself. So I'm excited to continue the journey.
Connor's going to induce his self to.
Peace Ham. Cheers.
Induce myself. Welcome here to the Sid Show, friend.
Induce. Cheers, everyone.
I'm Connor and I'm going to be having some fun this campaign.
As you can see by my get up already, I'm once again doing makeup
and I already don't like it, but I do all this for you.
Yes, I do. And I can't wait to play this character.
I've been very excited about it for a few weeks now
or actually more than a few weeks, but, you know, do it for you.
Go ahead, Brodeus. Did I look the right way?
Yeah, you looked the wrong way.
I need to put a sticker on the wall so I know which one is right.
Oh, hi, I'm the Brodeus.
I'm not wearing makeup this campaign.
This is actually my real face.
And it's nice to just for once breathe, you know, it's nice to be a robot.
No, I'm I'm I'm excited for this campaign.
I've never done high fantasy before, so I'm super nervous again.
I didn't think I was going to get stage fright twice, but here we are.
But I'm super excited to be part of the Grouch House for a second season.
I'm here for it. I'm I'm ready.
Hell, yeah, dude.
We're excited to fucking have you.
Yeah. And of course, last but not least, the fourth member of
the fourth player of our night, of course, we love to call it
you guys there in chat. You are the Court of Chaos.
Thank you so much for joining us.
If you didn't already know, if you're new around here,
there are loads of commands that you can use to influence the show while we play.
Of course, don't activate any yet because the show hasn't technically begun.
But get yourself down there. Get familiarized. Get familiarized.
Thank you so much for joining us.
Sprinkles sock puppet is Moogle.
We got charity in the chat. We got Caledon Onyx.
Hello. Hi, guys. Cheers to you.
And thank you so much for joining us.
There you deers. Yeah.
So before we get into the fun bits and we start to show this amazing night,
we're going to start off with a little bit of homework that we're going to go into.
We call this our homework section.
But don't worry, you don't have anything you have to take home to fill out.
It's just a little bit of stuff to let you know
what we got going on this year week.
And I believe Fishy is starting us off tonight.
That's right, baby. We're starting a whole new campaign.
That means tonight is the very first episode of LD&D.
Or otherwise known as Love, Death and Dice.
It all takes place in our beautiful home world of Intoxica
that we've homebrewed for ourselves for many of many of years.
And if you've never seen this show before, well, this is the perfect place to start.
That's right. Dude, LD&D.
How did it not think D&D? I forgot it was in.
I didn't even read. Thanks for that, Fishy.
That's a proteus. You can throw that to proteus.
I'm not good with letters.
Oh, all right. Thanks, proteus.
Anyway, speaking of that, you're next.
What you got for us?
What's up? Just so you guys know, if you are worried that you've like
missed an episode once the campaign gets going, we will be putting cut down
versions of every episode on YouTube the following week,
including highlights and clips about some of our favorite moments
and your favorite moments.
So don't forget to clip anything that you find funny tonight.
So one, we can share in our short rest, but also so we can post it on the YouTube
because you thought it was funny.
So obviously the Internet will find it funny.
It's a fucking Lutely.
And tonight we're playing ICRPG.
All right, we'll be playing ICRPG for this campaign.
I'm going to read the script.
It is similar to D&D 5e with some changes.
So no need to worry.
You will be able to follow right along.
And if you know nothing about either of those things, have no fear,
because we will be explaining as we play.
Good, because I need it.
Pro, I know I'm here for it.
I'm here for it.
Also, also, also, Merch Store has been updated, guys.
So it's been updated.
There's already love, death and dice merch with the fantastic right above me.
You see that logo right there, that beautiful fucking logo,
that beautiful masterpiece.
It's it's up there.
There's T-shirts, there's hoodies, there's there's there's cups, there's shorts.
There's things on the merch store.
So you go check it out.
Get yourself some love, death and dice official merch for the season.
I've already ordered my T-shirt.
There's holographic stickers.
I'm already on it.
And also there's shorts.
Those are two things that we've never had before.
So holographic stickers.
Yeah. Go check them out.
Yeah. So get on it.
Shorts. Last but not least,
Connor, what do you got for us, buddy?
Well, I'm here to talk about our short rest.
We have officially named our breakdowns at the end of our stream.
Short rest, short rest.
We will be discussing our favorite moments, leveling up, watching clips from the night.
And if you're wondering where to post those clips in the discord,
you may have noticed there's no longer a clip channel.
We still love when you all make clips, so keep doing it.
But now just throw them in the love, death, death and dice channel
and we will watch them during our short rest.
Hell yeah.
Ding.
Ding. That's it.
Dude, popcorn homework.
That's the first time we've ever done that.
I think we did a fucking good job.
That was pretty great.
That was pretty fucking great.
All right, guys, I'm so excited to get this campaign started.
Chat, are you all excited?
Nick, Nick, take for making dice roll.
Everybody roll some dice or spam some emotes in chat.
Let us know that you're here.
Let everyone on YouTube know that you're here.
Look, we are going to get this shit started.
And I'm so excited.
We have a very awesome exposition video we're going to be showing you
to get you into the mood to get you into the story.
It's going to be fucking awesome.
All right. So watch that bad boy.
And while it's running, grab a snack.
All right. Have some fun.
Do some things.
I'm also going to be running a name thing while the intro is running.
So if you have some ideas for some names, keep a look at chat
because I'm a pin it to the top.
So you'll be able to see what I'm looking for.
All right. And we're going to be doing that or in the intro.
And yeah, it's time.
Hi, pizza death. Hi, everybody.
Are you guys ready?
Any final words before we get into character?
Let's fucking go.
Yes. Last chance to say something out of character.
Thank you.
It's been 30 years since the mysterious heroes arose
and banished the mindflare colony back to the astral plane,
saving the people of Meat Harbor.
In those 30 years, the king of all intoxicant, Rufflecock,
has defended his crown more than once.
The last time this happened, a war raged amongst the realms
and almost destroyed all that was once peaceful in our world
and has since turned everything upside down.
The Jarl and leader of Helmfurt, Rania Rook, a female dragonborn,
believed Rufflecock not strong or smart enough to lead our great land.
So she took up arms and amassed an army at her side.
Meat Harbor and its leader, Ziddelec, the gnome, and his army of auto gnomes.
The king, of course, retaliated by calling upon all of the friends
he had made over the years, including the Okart Kingdom,
the Hippogryphs from the astral plane, the Firebeard Dwarven Clan,
and an army of warforged robots that were created just for this war.
Many years passed during this war.
Intoxicants picked sides and blood was shed all over the world.
In the end, Rufflecock was victorious, leading his own army
riding on a valiant steed into the last battle at Meat Harbor.
The war was won and Rania Rook was pushed back into the mountains of Eastgrip.
But at a cost, our king, Battlescarred and Warn,
now lays in his deathbed in Stein Kingdom and awaits to crown his successor
before he spills his last breath.
Warforged now walk amongst the people of the realm,
and without the war, they are lost and without a cause.
They are wildly not accepted in most places,
and intoxicants don't even accept them as people
and constantly call them names wherever they can.
The war and bloodshed also caused dragons to wake from their hundred year slumber,
and they rule the skies once again, raining down fire and brimstone
on local farmsteads and towns.
This has caused a majority of the worshippers of gods
to be without churches or steeples, and most have lost faith.
Even the mention of a god is replied to with a spat at your feet.
The goblins have slowly been developing technologies like gunpowder and bombs
and trade relationships, allowing them to gain independence
and are wildly accepted in most major cities due to their trade
and are now demanding sovereignty far south in Iradrum.
Common Steel City, a city of the people.
It is, by and large, the most civilized city in Intoxica.
Yet civilized does not mean safe,
nor does it mean easy to navigate. Common Steel is huge,
with multiple districts and harbors for trade on the river that runs right through the middle.
And after all this, Common Steel City stands strong,
in large part due to its unrelenting loyalty of its people to the king.
They await his decision of who will get the crown next,
and all yarls of all independent realms and cities,
even factions and guild leaders, have thrown their hat in the ring
to try and be the next true king.
Some have even heard rumors of a dragon vault hidden somewhere in the central cheer,
and have come to Common Steel City to try and search it out,
in hopes that the gold they find there will help them win their way to the crown.
But they aren't the only ones trying to find the dragon vault.
Welcome back everybody, and welcome back to the first episode of LD&D.
Thank you so much for joining us, and thank you for your name suggestions.
There are some really good ones in there.
We're going to get to that in just a second.
But just so you know, Pizza to the Death,
we're going to have to save the greased griffin for like a fast food restaurant,
because that's really good.
All right. Our story begins, guys.
We're going to just, we're just going to get right into this.
What we're going to do.
I feel like it's so much quieter all of a sudden.
Here we go.
As the curtain opens on our first episode,
we see Common Steel City, of course,
in the middle of spring.
The moon is full and high in the sky,
and the air feels crisp and warm.
Torches and candle-lit street lamps light up the cobble and stone streets
of Common Steel as the residents begin to settle in for the night.
Then we see a tavern, but not just any tavern.
A famous inn and tavern located in the North Ward of Common Steel City.
By the name of...
There's too many good ones. Why have y'all done this to me?
Why have you done this to me?
You asked them to.
I know. I asked them to do this.
Let me turn you up, Connor.
Maybe we should put up a hole.
Maybe. Maybe.
There we go.
It was quiet because my headphones turned down. That's why.
Hi, LB.
By the name of...
The Flail and Ale.
Good job, Dan. I love that.
We're putting it in our lore right now.
All right. Not just any tavern, but a famous inn and tavern
located in the North Ward of Common Steel City.
This tavern is called The Flail and Ale.
The place is a stone building.
With a slate roof and several chimneys,
most of the ground floor is taken up by the tavern's common room,
where adventurers and town folks of all sorts
throw back drinks and tell stories of the day prior.
This room also contains a huge open well in the center,
a fully stocked bar, and multiple tables and fixings
and back rooms, anything that you would find in a famous tavern.
The inside is warm and full of laughter.
And it sounds a little something like this.
I would like each one of you now to roll me initiative.
Not because we're going into a battle, but because...
We're going to see who gets to go first.
Oops.
That happened really fast.
Fishy got a 10, Connor got a 13, and Proteus got a three.
So the way that this works in ICRPG, initiative anyway,
which is kind of a benefit to us,
the person who rolls the highest gets to go first
and then we go clockwise, seating order, moving forward.
So just a little bit of a
way to get to the first and then we go clockwise, seating order, moving forward.
So just hope you're sitting next to someone who has really good roles.
All right?
Just hope for that because that's the way initiative's going to work.
All right?
So Connor, you my friend, will be going first and then Proteus.
And then if it was battle, it would be me.
And then back down to Bomblin.
So Bomblin, you're last here.
Oh no.
Yeah.
All right.
As we zoom into the tavern, we see Reverend Raz sitting at a table.
Across from Raz is an Azimar.
This Azimar has long, draping white hair,
very pale-ish skin and little wings tucked behind their back.
Raz, you and this Azimar as the scene opens up for the first time
are arguing about the rules of life and death.
You see this Azimar, which doesn't have a name yet,
so chat if you want to use name of thing and name this Azimar, feel free to do so.
It is a female Azimar and they follow Aswin, the goddess of moon.
If you would be so helpful, Connor, to start us off by telling us how you're
explaining to this Azimar why the god of death is better than the god of life.
Well, you see, the god of death is absolute.
And he only deals in absolute because when you're dead, you die.
Because when you're dead, you die. You know what I'm saying?
Because like, listen, there's three things that you have to do in life, all right?
You have to be born, you have to take up space, and you have to die.
Those are the only three things by the laws of nature that you have to do.
And my god just happens to be the god of the one that you do at the end.
And that's why I think he's the best one.
They pick a sip from their flag and slam it on the table.
Look right at you. They hold up their hands real close to your face.
They're like, listen to me, young man.
The god of death has nothing on Aswin, the god of moon.
She brings us life. She starts the life cycle.
Your god ends it.
So all this time we have here on this plane is given to us by the goddess of moon, Aswin.
And that's why Aswin is better than Ned Braith. Flat out.
Flat out. Okay.
Well, you know, it's not. They're not better, okay?
Because you can be benevolent and give them something.
But it's only true power comes from being able to take something like that away and keep it.
So, I don't know. Up yours, lady.
She well, before you said it, she looks at you and she feels maybe you're making a point here.
You can tell when you look at her that she looks down at her drink and swirls it a little bit.
Maybe you're making a point. I want you to make me a charisma check there, Raz.
And for those of you guys who are just following along at home, the target number in this very first scene is 2.
As you can see by the number over here in the corner, the dice without borders.
That is our target number. Follow our scenes.
Give it to us, Raz. Beat it. I have a plus two to charisma.
Yes, sir. All right.
Eclipsis. Maybe Shadowheart. Hey, you know what? A total eclipse of Shadowheart.
Yeah. What is that? A three? Yeah, that's a three. Hmm.
She takes another sip of her drink, puts it down and looks at you and goes,
I don't know. Giving gifts is better than taking them.
So, you know, you're kind of the first follower of death that I've seen here in Common Steel.
And a long time. I know you frequent the flail and ale bar here, but you're the first one I've seen in a while.
Exclamation life. Reroll. Edgy.
Yeah, reroll, reroll, reroll. Good change.
You're the first one I've seen in a while. And I'm just curious. What are you doing here in Common Steel?
There's no Ned Braith churches here.
Well, you see, I'm actually down in this area to raise some funds to open up a church that I've been in charge of opening up by my, you know, main church.
My boss, Telemathy, said I had to do it. And they're pretty cool. So I decided to come down here and spread the good word of Braith.
Aswin points back at you. Then the camera zooms out.
Hard to follow death. Hi, Jackster. Good time. Yay. Welcome in, Jackster.
Hey, Edgy, you know what? You gave it a shot. We appreciate you for that.
The camera zooms out and across this lovely bustling tavern, we go up to the top of the tower.
Across this lovely bustling tavern, we go over the big well and zoom back down at a different table.
And at this table, not only since Boblin, Boblin sitting there half naked for some reason, which we'll get to in a second.
But then we zoom over to T3, T-357. As you sit there with your hands on your chin, looking at a table across from you.
As this elf looking woman is eating turkey legs. She takes a bite and then she notices you staring at her.
She's like, um, hello? Can I help you?
Hello, I was just admiring how you intake sustenance. Can you describe the sensation?
Um, to a warforged? God, why do they let people like you in here anyway? Um, well.
Nurds, geeks and freaks, a part of the couch, a part of the crew.
My service legal now. Time for a drink because obviously I haven't been doing that all this time anyway.
Cheers, certifiable. Hey buddy, happy to have you back here.
Excellent. Certifiable, we enjoy your presence.
Yeah, man. Thank you for joining us.
She looks at you and she's like, geeks and freaks, a part of the couch, a part of the crew.
Certifiable gives it a sub to Jackster. Cheers. Cheers, certifiable. Thank you, buddy.
How industrious. And here's to, here's a present to a new follower.
Hey, Jackster's been here a little while, but you know what? I still love you for that. Thank you so much.
Um, she looks at you and she's like, so do you know the feeling whenever you oil your gears?
Do you do that? Yes, at least twice a week. Right.
Do you know, do a non-something, yay! Do you know whenever you do it too much maybe you feel sick?
Is that a thing? It gets a little difficult to move fluently.
Okay. Well, it's like that. Whenever you consume you feel refreshed.
Um, look, I'm not going to sit here and explain what eating is to a Warforged.
I don't even know why they let you in this bar. The flail and ale is going downhill
and she turns a little bit towards the wall, looks back at you and continues eating.
Giving you opportunity to say anything else. I will continue to watch you consume.
It is quite entertaining to watch your damn it. She throws down her turkey leg
and she throws her chair back and walks out. She's like, I want to eat in private. God damn it.
So long fellow patron.
Oh, I love that. I love that in your backstory, uh, you like to watch people eat. So that's why
I wanted to include this. Now the camera zooms out once more but instead it just turns around.
That 70s show style. And it turns around to Bomblin, half naked, sitting at a table
with, of course, a human sitting across from him, stubble on his face, black scraggly hair
in his hand and in front of him hold Bomblin's clothes and a pair of dice.
Yes. Yes. Your pants Bomblin. Yeah. That's all you have left. And he looks at you and he's like,
my pants is all I have left. Now I have everything else left. I wanted to, uh,
deal me in with the pants. Okay. I'll deal you in with the pants. What kind of, I mean,
are those nice pants? They're brown pants. A nice brown. That's good. So whenever you, uh,
shit yourself from losing, you'll be fine. Actually you won't because I'm going to win
those fucking pants from you. If I shit myself from losing, I'm not wearing the pants. I know.
No. Anyways, yeah, deal me in. All right. So, uh, what we're going to do for this weird little
homebrew segment here, I'm going to make, um, a low roll high roll to see if you win your pants back.
All right. Um, unless, unless you want to roll against the target number, much like Raz had to do.
I mean, you're the, you make the rules. I just live them. True. We all live in this world.
It is what we make it. All right, Bumblin, I want you to roll against the target number. No bonuses.
Sorry, my pants are on my mouse. Target number is 12. Hold on. Let me check. Uh, am I rolling,
what am I rolling? Charisma? Nope. You're just rolling luck buddy. Just, just rolling.
Yep. Get me with it. Hey, yeah. 17. He deals out the cards. You look down, you see,
you got a full house and he looks at you and he's like,
well, are you in or no? Of course I'm in. All right. Me too. Can I raise you a cloak?
Uh, no, I don't want your cloak, but I'll take the pants and I'll take the pants for one gold.
He puts one single gold piece across the table. All right. I raise another pair of pants.
Okay. No, I don't. I'm just reading chat. Sorry. I don't have any more pants to raise. Those are
my only pants. Not unless you want my underpants. No, thank you. All right. Read him and weep. And
he places them down. He's got two pair. Ha ha. Ha ha. You fool. Hey, I think this is the first
time I've ever won. Hey, give me that gold card. It's a full house. Read them and wait. Give me
that card. Give me my pants back too. All right. That's great, Robin. Thanks for not
bedding my pants. I don't wear any, but thanks. Not this time. At least not again.
I love that. All right. You put your pants back on my friend. Okay.
Then you three gather back up together at a table. What did I switch scenes there? I'm going to come
here. You gather back up at a table and you three sit together around a sturdy wooden table. All
three of you know each other from one thing or another. And T357, being a newest member of this
party, for those of you just tuning in, you work for the Legion. You've come here to basically
babysit these two and make sure that they pay back their debt that is owed to the Legion. So of course
you sit down or on the table together. You sit around a sturdy wooden table lit by brightly
burning candle. And it's littered with plates and cleared food and half-drank takers. The sounds of
gamblers still happen off in the corner. Trunken adventurers singing body songs nearly drown out
the off-key strums of a young bard a few tables over. As you three sit together, finish off your
drinks and tell each other tales. The noise is eclipsed and everything kind of comes to a halt.
As someone shouts loud, you pig, you like killing me mates, does ya? Then a seven foot tall half-orc
is hit by a wild swinging punch from a male human whose shaved head is covered with eye-shaped
tattoos. Two other humanoids stand behind him ready to jump into the fray. The half-orc cracks
her knuckles and then roars and leaps at the tattooed figure. But before you can see if blood
is drawn, a crowd of spectators cluster around the brawl. And before they do, T357, you think you
recognize this orc, this half-orc, for a second? Roll me a wisdom check to see if you see their
face before they tackle this human. Holy shit, natural 20! Hey, and your first check of the
campaign! Can we get some nat 20s in chat? Holy shit! That's awesome. That's fucking awesome.
Congratulations. You must really know that half-orc! Say that again, T357? How close have you been to that half-orc?
True. Is that like your sister or something? Or a mate?
Could be. Say that again, Tess. Does this mean I gain a mastery point? It does! As in ICRPG, each time these guys
roll a natural 20, they get a mastery point. So at the top of this campaign, you get a mastery point.
Once they get to 20, they get to master one of their skills. So beautiful. Dammit,
the Tess is already ahead of us! First try! Yes, she is. I was ahead of you to begin with. I am kind of like your boss.
Oh, no reason to get a little high-horsety there. Easy, easy. We're all on the same side, right?
Yeah, why don't you climb down off your toaster before you start talking down to us, Robot?
Oh, Reverend, you can't expect me to. How many times do I have to tell you, Raz, toaster is our word?
Oh, right. Yeah, sorry. Well, are we going to see what this hot lady orc was all about?
Roll 20 decided to crash. That was weird. That's never happened to me before.
Mine crashed as well as soon as we started playing the video.
Mine also has crashed. All right, everybody refresh Roll 20. Quick, play the song, Turkey!
Mine's up! The technical difficulty song? There we go. We're back. Yeah. We're back.
No, never get to use the song when things actually happen.
Rollin' high on the cog. Yeah. So T357, you recognize this half-orc, this female half-orc,
is Stonefist. This is her last name. But of course, we don't have a first name yet.
Chat, use the name of thing command and give this half-orc a first name, if you will.
Their last name is Stonefist. They are a Legion mercenary. Specifically, they work for the Black
Network here in Common Steal City. And they get paid to protect other negotiators of the Black
Network. And you know them because they find the job super boring and like to pass the time by
challenging other adventurers and people to arm wrestling contests and tends to get into a lot
of brawls even at the Legion itself, at the Black Network hideout. So you've seen them around. And
I'm trying to see if the Natural 20, if there's anything else I can give you for this.
You also know that they might have some information about some other
factions in the city because they speak rumors of them.
Yeah. Their name is, we've got two of them, we've got Jakster and Gala. I like Silva.
Their name is Silva Stonefist. Now, as this happens, a brawl begins breaking out and all of these
spectators gather around here in the flail and ale tavern.
Flail and ale tavern.
What do you guys do?
Oops.
Map. Y'all like maps? I give you map.
Um, this person isn't there anymore.
Whoops.
Here you guys are at your table. And up here in the corner is Silva Stonefist.
What do you guys do?
I can't even see where we are. Hold on.
Oh, just so you guys know at home, this is the first time that Turkey slapped us with a map on
this system. So now we're all like, what is happening? And we, we're, we're, I mean, honestly,
I mean, look at him. We're not the smartest guys. I mean, we're figuring it out. We're not. We
got it figured out. But my map was super zoomed in, but now it looks super far away.
Scroll wheel. Is there, is there a movement limit?
Uh, yeah. Far, which in this system, I believe is like 35, 50 feet. That's moved far.
Would I be able to get, which, how big is each one of these squares?
About five feet.
Oh, so I can move like here.
Sure. But in ICRPG, you can kind of get all the way across the room, but that would just be a
far move. So you can get there, but you can't get there and do an action.
Okay. I just, can I get there and talk?
Yes. Talk is a free action. And we are in still in the same exact initiative order.
So you would be going first here.
Rats. But that's why I went. Well, I'm going to walk over to the table.
I'll be like,
Oops.
Fellas, ladies, do you have a moment to talk about our Lord and savior Ned Bray?
So, uh, here's low key what happens. Um, you push through the people that have all gathered around
and you say that, but amongst this crowd, your voice barely cracks out. They're like punching
the shit out of each other. The other two are preparing to pounce on top of her. And you say,
you have a moment to talk and they're just beating the shit out of each other.
I, I get, um, well, I mean, okay. I just, I'll wait until you're finished and then I'll,
I'll tell you.
Oh, and I have this too.
There you go.
It's the good old bra.
Totally good if somebody dies, but yep.
I love this. All right. Imagination. Okay. So what happens next as you walk up in, technically,
um, it is T three five sevens turn T three five seven. You know, this person, what do you do?
Well, it's shouting will do no good over the sound. I would like to help incapacitate
other fighters in the brawl.
Nice. Um, so you are pretty far away, but you can get right up to it.
Just like, oops, with what Raz did.
So feel free to move yourself. Yeah. Bad ass. You guys. Hey, look, I told you,
we're going to be using roll 20 this campaign and we're all, this is a little bit of a learning
curve for all of us, but I know once we get into this shit, it's going to be fucking bad ass. So
thank you guys for sticking with us on this, but it's going to be epic. Let's scroll up.
So everyone else can see what's going on here. So up here at the top, we can see we've got the
three fighters and we've got silver stone fist right here, right next to Raz and T three five.
So, so now that you get over there, what do you do?
So now that you get over there, what do you do?
Did you not say that I could not attack and move at the same time?
True. You can move far. Yeah, that's true. It's true. All right. So
then what happens is silver stone fist punches the first guy in the face.
We're doing some damage.
Target number 11, silver stone fist misses the guy rebuttals with a three and misses the other two
jump on top of silver. The first one has the puncher and misses with the five. The last one
tries to hunt her and misses with the two. They're all just flailing around each other like
any nobody's business.
Target number 12, they're just flailing around like it ain't nobody's business.
Flailing around like it ain't nobody's business.
Bomblin, you see them over there.
Yeah, yeah, exactly. Guess they've been drinking a bit. Lots of misses. That's right.
Bomblin, what do you do, my friend?
I've got a there's a big old dice in my way.
I got to go over to these these guys right here.
And I just want to like very casually walk up as they're like squaring off with each other and just
break a barstool over one of them's backs.
Just not even in the fight.
Just the ones that are out there. But it's a random guy.
All right, dude. I'm into that. Go on ahead and roll to hit.
Oh, yeah. Holy shit, that's funny.
1616. OK, technically, this is a weapon, but I'm still going to treat this as a barstool.
This is going to be a basic attack, but I will allow you to actually 16 plus what?
Three on your strength. Yeah, this is still a basic attack.
So you get to roll a d4 plus one. I was supposed to roll strength, but that was just a solid 16.
Yeah, plus three. That's 19.
Yes, it's actually a 19. I mean, it is a barstool.
Oh, yeah. So you hit. It was very unexpected.
So, I mean, I'm just trying to knock a guy out, to be honest.
Oh, yeah. All right. So now, roll me your damage.
I'm going to roll a d4 plus one.
Yeah, to be honest. Oh, yeah. All right. So now, roll me your damage.
Your basic, which is a d4 plus one.
Two damage. Is the barstool cracks and goes flying behind the bar.
And the bartender looks up and he's like, hey, hey, those are my barstools.
Bomblin, you going to pay for that? Yeah, you know, this guy will pay for it.
He broke it. He turns around and looks at you and he's like, what the fuck, man?
And he smashes the bottle on the counter and he gets ready.
Hell, yeah. We're back to Rav. Rav.
Rav. Well, this fight, it started out as interesting,
but I really need to tell you guys the word of brave.
So I think I'm going to put it into it.
I'm going ahead and using one of my spells. Oh, oh, magic.
Oh, magic magic.
We get some magics and chat chat.
You want to hit us with some magics?
Just give us some magics.
I think you need to crop dust the area. Yeah, just walk around.
What kind of magic you going to use, Raz?
Well, I guess I'm just going to do Arn's Hex.
So what Arn's Hex does?
Use Eldritch's words to rot a living target from within.
The rot inflicts magic each round for one D four rounds.
You don't kill this man.
Well, just you just giving people cancer again. I thought we talked about that.
OK, I'm just going to, you know, chant my little words, which is.
Oh, my God.
And then I just touch him in the forehead like boop
and he just starts turning from where I touched him.
All right. So for one D four rounds.
So I think you get to roll magic now and it continues for one D four rounds.
It's an IBS. They started shitting their pants.
So flavor text that however you want, Raz.
Just remember that when I when I roll my magic, what am I using?
Your magic. It says magic.
Very true. But it is a D10 is magic damage plus two for you.
So the right side of the paper.
So I can click the button like that.
Ah, so you deal three damage to him now.
Does it say one D six damage or does it say magic damage your hex?
It says magic.
Nice. OK, so you do.
But there's plus two on my magic.
So that's actually a five.
That's a five. Yeah.
And now I roll a D four.
Yeah. See how many rounds continues for four rounds.
Four rounds. Oh, my God.
Boop.
And he'd like so what is the flavor text on this?
How does it how does he like how does he feel?
Well, the flavor text is for the Eldritch words.
I'm basically just speaking demonic, just in whispers, you know,
talking backwards and whatnot for like a couple of seconds.
And then I just when I do actually touch him, I go, Boop and just right on his forehead.
Little brown spot. OK.
Brown spot. And it I'm assuming it in my mind when you touch him,
he feels like burning all over his skin, like as the brown starts to spread.
And he's like, ah, ah, friendly bar fight, man.
What? Ah, ah, you're going to have to get.
Jesus Christ. All right, test.
What say you?
I would like to reach out to iron fist.
Do you require my assistance?
He looks back. She's on top of this dude.
And she's like, yeah, get that one.
She turns around and starts wants to punch the other one.
Excellent. I would like to swipe the piece of that one.
All right. Hell, yeah.
So are you going to use a killing blow or are you just going to punch him or kick him?
Because there's a difference here.
I heard the words friendly bar brawl.
I assume I should not kill.
Me too. Me too.
All right, let's do it.
So it's Romi a d20. This is going to be a strength to hit.
You got to beat the target number of 12.
Yeah, y'all.
14 plus one.
It's a 15. Are you hit?
So now, Romi, your basic to sweep the legs out from this guy.
And if you get high enough damage, I'll say that you also knock him prone.
Is that a D4?
Yeah, absolutely.
All right. It's only one for three damage.
You kick him in the legs. What the fuck?
Mad. Mad.
Do you say anything when you kick him?
Hello, citizen.
Are you partaking in a wonderful bar brawl?
Yeah. What?
You just kicked him.
What? You just kicked me.
I was instructed by my colleague that I should get that guy.
You are that guy.
And he just turns and he swings and tries to punch you.
It's his turn after all.
13, which totally matches your AC. Yeah.
He punches you.
I know I'm excited about this.
For three damage.
Right in the face.
A lot of damage.
Yeah. Put you at seven.
The one that you just cursed, Rav, holds his forehead and he's like, what did you do to me, man?
Fix it now.
Fix it.
I can fix it if you stop fighting.
Roll me a charisma check with advantage.
I mean, an easy charisma check because that's what it is in this system.
It's not advantageous. It's easy.
So do I roll two D20s?
What do you mean by easy?
Just one. Easy means that it's three less than the current target number.
So you only have to beat a nine.
Natural 20.
First of all, mark a mastery point and chat.
Can we get some 90 20s and chat chat?
What the fuck? That's two tonight already.
This guy is very terrified of me.
That's why this worked.
Yeah. He's like, yeah, man, look, I'll do whatever you want.
Just make it stop.
Okay. Please make it stop and I'll leave.
I'll leave right now.
Just give me a minute.
I'll cook up something to get it to stop.
All right. So I feel like this spell requires concentration and concentration basically means you're concentrating on it and you can stop at any time.
Additionally, if someone were to hurt you while you're concentrating on something, you have to make a concentration check to continue concentrating.
I'm not going to stop it until the next turn.
Okay.
But he's like, all right, all right, but you can tell he just starts backing off towards the door like he's ready to leave.
So actually don't leave.
You got to stay if you want.
If you want me to stop it.
Well, you said to leave, man.
No, I didn't say leave.
I just said stop fighting.
There's a way to stop it.
Yeah.
Okay.
He stops where he is though.
All right.
Testicle. What's up, outsider?
Thanks for joining us, buddy.
All right.
Lastly, Silva punches this guy one more time.
His fist to the ground.
Whoops.
What was that first one?
19.
Nice. She hits it right in the face.
On the ground.
Two damage.
He hits her back.
All right.
Natural 20.
Meaning when you get a natural 20 when dealing damage in this system, you get to do your ultimate, which is a D12.
So they deal D4 plus D12 damage.
Back to her.
So that's three plus four.
That's seven.
Now it's Bomblin's turn.
Bomblin, what say you?
20 mania today, dude.
20 mania, but you see how I didn't get excited about the enemies.
20 only for the players.
I'm a man of the players.
What can I say?
Bomblin, what do you do?
I would like to grab a beer bottle and then like break it over the bar right next to the guy that's standing next to me with the beer bottle.
And I just want to start yelling at him like, you know what I'm doing is bad.
It was a friendly bar brawl and you got two bar.
And I'm going to try to convince him to put down his broken beer bottle with a charisma check.
All right.
Hell yeah.
I rolled a one.
That's a one.
He's like, nah, man.
Nah, man.
I didn't let him go on his turn.
So we're going to say that he was still intimidated a little bit.
Didn't know what he wanted to do.
I'm sure that he's going to strike you with this bottle.
It's reroll now everybody.
It's reroll, not give a dice reroll exclamation point reroll reroll.
First one in the campaign.
I'm a horrible natural one.
That's a 10.
That does not count.
Nope. He's yeah.
He's he still doesn't know if he wants to strike you then, but did not convince a Nazi.
Very, very badly.
There you go.
It is a free action to talk. Is there something else you want to do?
Okay.
Ah, you're unreasonable then.
Can I turn around and grab the other guy that's just standing next to the bar and then throw him on top of the guy that's on the grab?
Yes.
The one that's not paying attention?
Yeah, the one that's absolutely not paying attention.
He's all staring at the other fight.
This gets lifted up.
Alright, contested strength roll though.
Alright, I got a two.
I got a two.
I got a 22.
Alright, you pick him up and you're going to go and shove him on the other guy.
No, I would just strike down on top of the other guy.
Okay.
So after the contested strength check, roll to throw him then.
Roll to throw.
This would be a dex check because you're throwing a human.
No.
Yeah, man.
Did I miss?
Yeah, you just throw him on the ground next to the other guy and he's like, what the fuck, man?
He's like, ow, why did you do that?
And the bartender's like, Boblin, don't make me kick you out of the bar again, man.
This isn't cool.
Friendly bar brawl.
I mean, if you're at the bar, you're part of the brawl. Just wait, you're next.
Improvised weapon. Take damage.
Does the improvised weapon take damage?
You mean the human?
Yeah.
Does that guy take damage?
Like at least one falling damage.
Yeah, because you throw him on the ground.
Roll me basic. Yeah, let's go.
The improvised weapon takes damage from you throwing him at the ground.
Yes.
That's 184 damage.
What the fuck, man?
Jesus.
All right, Rav.
Rav, that's why, because this is named wrong.
All right, Rav, what do you do, man?
All right, so I have this guy in front of me.
I'm going to say, look at me.
I can get this to stop. Do you trust me?
Do you trust me?
I'll do anything you want.
All right, what I need you to do, my son, is close your eyes.
And I put my hands on his shoulders.
He closes his eyes.
And I move him to my right.
We have just been raided.
I know who it's from.
Hi, Forge of Lore.
And these friends.
Hey, you guys, make sure to follow Forge of Lore.
Thank you so much for hopping over to us, Forge of Lore.
Our episode one.
Yeah, hey, Medic.
Thanks so much for the follow.
Welcome to the show, my friend.
Yes, hello there.
Oh, hello there.
All right, we're in the middle of battle, but we're here in our episode one.
Of our brand new campaign.
And we're in the middle of a bar fight.
That's where we're at.
And Raz is trying to convince someone of something.
So, you grab him by the shoulders.
And you move him.
Yeah, I just move him to the right a little bit.
I said, do you trust me?
Yes.
All right.
Just save me, man.
So, if I'm not mistaken, on the map, there's a giant fucking hole in the floor, isn't there?
Hey, Rachel, come back.
Thanks so much.
Welcome, Rachel.
Yeah, welcome here to the show, friend.
Thanks so much for the follow.
I believe.
I'm correct.
After both of your guys' follows.
Which, by the way, thank you so much.
We only need one more to hit 2,000.
So, if anyone here in chat hasn't followed, you should.
Cheers.
Okay, let's go to the map, Raz.
Quit being a bummer and follow.
Yeah.
I'm going to go over here.
Oops.
Yeah, is that a giant gaping hole in the floor?
Yeah.
Okay, well.
Yeah.
I've watched plenty of those videos.
I said.
I said, you trust me, my son, right?
He's like, yeah, man.
I trust you. I completely trust you.
And your eyes are closed, right?
No peeping.
My eyes are closed.
All right.
What I need you to do to fix the curse is accept death into your heart.
And then I push him into the hole.
All right. Make me a strength.
Make me a strength. Beat a 12.
Oh, I hope I beat a 12.
Hey, you guys.
What's up, Pallywags? Thank you so much for joining us.
19.
Okay.
Do you push or do you kick? Because Certifiable said it in chat.
Okay. Yeah.
I'll.
I'll take my hands off his shoulders.
And I'll just fucking kick him in the chest.
And for visual reference, everyone watching.
Raz is barefoot.
Yes.
Barefoot kick this man.
And as you kick him, he goes.
You better watch your derogatory terms there, GM.
Bear feet?
Yeah. Bear feet. That's our word.
Bear feet? Bear feet is your word?
We use the word
Southern hands.
Southern hands is what Raz is.
Raz has naked feet. How about that?
No. He has
gross human
feet.
Not bare feet. Are you blind?
I'm the bear.
He's the evil man.
Chess is a lovely robot.
All right.
Thank you.
I human foot him.
He's falling. He goes, I embrace death.
Death.
He falls down the hole.
And the bartender looks up and he goes.
Did you just kick that patron?
Down the well?
Oh, no, no, no.
He actually just joined my religion.
You know.
Of Nethbraith.
We worship death.
So, uh.
Listen here, buddy.
You will not be using the flail ale
inn as a place of your ritualistic
sacrifices. Understood?
It wasn't a ritualistic
sacrifice. It was more just like a welcoming thing.
You just kicked a man down a well to kill him
in the name of God.
It was consensual.
Doesn't matter if it was consensual.
It was still a sacrifice to death.
It was a sacrifice.
You will not use my
inn as a place of ritualistic
sacrifice.
Or you and Bomblin are out.
Oh, sorry. Sorry, sir.
Many, many, many sorrys.
Many sorrys. I don't give a fuck.
But, yeah.
He eyeballs you.
Sacrificial semantics.
New feet.
He peeked. He shouldn't have peeked.
Alright.
Last but not least.
Let's head over to our map here real quick.
This man is gone.
Down the hole.
I'd like to think he's still alive down there.
Just, ow!
Ow!
Somewhere down there.
This one's on the ground.
There's Bomblin through them. We're updating the map
here. And you
just got punched in the face by this guy.
Test. And it's your go.
Excellent.
I would like to punch
him back.
Nice. Alright.
Let's do it. Let's fucking do it. But I would like to aim
for their groin.
It's fucked. Okay.
Roll to hit. Rachel said, well
maybe you shouldn't have a giant gaping well
in the middle of your tavern.
No shit, huh?
That's a six, which is a miss.
You try to punch him right in his dick and he goes
AHH! What the hell?
Reroll.
I already certified.
Bye bye!
You are a wonderful human.
You will be spared in the
robot uprising.
It really ties the tavern together.
Oh no, that's only a five.
Powerful magic.
Advantage for improvised tactics, which means you get
to roll again and take the higher roll.
Oh, fantastic.
Let's get it. Certifiable's
got your back tonight.
That's a two.
So you keep the five.
Careful, certifiable. There's a zipper back there.
That's what rugs are for.
Some people find the zipper appealing.
Alright, so you try to punch him in his dick and he's like
AHH!
Friendly bar fight.
You going to punch me right in the nads?
This is not okay.
I am just trying to aim for a
vulnerable, yet non-lethal
spot to take you out of
the bar for a while.
Well yeah, it is a vulnerable
spot, but it's definitely
lethal.
I'm trying to have kids, you know?
That is only lethal to
future humans.
Well fine.
How do you like it?
And he tries to punch you in your robot crotch.
He got a 19.
Ping!
Right in the vibrator.
I imagine he heard
his knuckles.
Four fucking damage, dude.
Holy Jesus.
That puts you down to three.
You getting brass knuckles.
You dented my cooter.
My robot cooter?
Oh no.
Oh no, you dented her oil plug.
Bomblin?
Actually, first we're going to do with Sylva.
I believe Sylva makes it out of this.
She gets to strike first.
The 12, she finally lands a hit.
She swings hard at this man.
For four damage, knocking him out
on the ground.
And he like...
She stands up.
Looks behind her and sees the chaos
happening. Just as
the patron you threw on the floor,
Bomblin, begins to stand up.
Both of them get directly at you.
Talking about both of them?
Yeah.
They look both at you. The one with the bottle.
Like...
Looks at the other one who just stood up.
He's like,
let's get this asshole.
Oh no, don't throw me at the
bartender across the
bar.
I'm trying to make
me a charisma
check.
14.
They look at each other like, yeah!
Yeah!
And they both grab you by
your arms. And they're going to chuck
you over the bar at the
bartender. I would say
context strength check if you don't
want to be thrown.
But they're both going to roll their D20s.
We're going to add them together.
That's a 10.
And that's a 12. So 22.
They throw you over the bar.
And you slide down and fall on top of the bartender.
Who, by the way, is a human
with black beard and black scraggly
hair. And he's got kind of messed
up clothes a little bit. And you land on top
of him. And he's like,
God!
What the hell, Bomblin?
What the hell?
And you and him are going to take
one damage.
He broke your fall.
Dented Cooder
is my country dubstep
mashup band name.
Dented Cooder.
Well, they tried.
Ha ha ha.
You land on top of the bartender.
And he looks at you. He says that. Yeah, now it's your turn.
Great.
When I'm on top of the bartender,
I would like to try and
pickpocket him for
his gold sack.
He keeps it in a fanny pack on his
back. I landed perfectly
on top of him. So I'm just going to try
and pickpocket him as I go
to stand up.
Roll me Dex
there, Rudy.
Wow!
That's not good enough!
Nine plus one is a ten, which does
not mean hard. This will ruin my whole plan!
I need help!
I usually like asking
for help. And his fanny pack, he slaps your hand
and he's like, Bomblin! That's three strikes,
man! You're the hell out of here
for a whole day!
You're out of here!
Damn it!
That's it. That was your action.
Now, Raz, there is one enemy
left that just punched Test
in the Cooder, as well as the
commoners that Bomblin's fighting. If you want to do anything
with them, what do you do?
Well,
I mean, I've got to finish the bra
so I can tell them about God and
shit.
So, uh, I guess I'll just
walk up to the last guy
that's swinging wildly
and I'll go ahead and backhand him with my good
book.
Book slap. I love that.
Oh yeah, roll me Strength, buddy.
Let's do it.
Wow, that's not very good.
He's like, Hey!
Hey! He dodges out the way. Hey!
Don't you punch me with no good
book. Don't you do that.
Oh, you think it's a good book?
Yes!
Are you a follower of Death?
I mean, I've read it.
Oh! Well, that's more than most people.
Hold on.
I'm about to hit you again.
And you do.
You hit him. Roll me 1d4.
Basic damage.
It finally worked!
Yeah, it did. 1 plus 1
is 2. You knock him out with your book.
He's like, I read
the book!
He falls down.
Now,
uh, aw man.
I finally got someone to talk to you about the good book.
The battle is
over.
The bartender, whom
needs a name?
Chat,
who would like to name the bartender?
Please do. But Silva
stands up, walks
over to you, test.
And Silva's like,
Well, and the name of the legion
well met.
Uh,
what was your name again?
My name
is T-357,
colloquially
known as test.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Test, test, that's right. You're the
assassination.
You were, right? You were in the assassination
part of the legion, then like you messed up.
Now they've got you on babysitting duty.
Yes,
it would be
the one in the cloak
and the bear.
Hmm.
Hmm. Yeah.
The cloak and the bear. Yeah. Well, they look
like fascinating people.
Look, thank you so much for your help
against this bar fight.
Wasn't there three guys here?
Where'd the third guy go?
Oh, he embraced death fully. He was so
ready to join my religion, he just couldn't
wait.
You could say that, yeah.
He leaped for it.
Leaped for it.
They kicked him down the hole.
The well?
The well in the center of the
flail ale, right here.
Yeah.
You know where that leads?
Probably
to the bottom of a well.
It's not really a well.
It's like some weird kind of,
I don't know, used to be like some kind of
like tower
thing. I don't know. And they built like
around it. It like sunk down in the ground. It's crazy.
I mean, like, why the fuck would they just have a well
in the middle of the tavern? You know what I mean?
I don't know. Seems kind of dangerous, but I like
it. A little bit. Yeah. It's just, I mean,
it's just rumors. Hey, would you like to join my religion?
No, thanks, man. No, thanks.
I got it. I won't kick you down a well.
Some people to go defend. Yeah, I don't believe that.
Be careful with this one. He's a little bit
of a bigot.
Yeah. Yeah.
I prefer the
Robophobic.
All right.
Robophobic. Right, right, right.
That doesn't make it better.
I mean, like me too. Like, why are warforged
here anyway? I don't really. Anyways,
am I right?
I'll see you back at the
black network. And they
begin to leave. And then
we're going to name a thing for the bartender.
All right. Look, I've been
picking all the names tonight, so we're going to go left to right
for tonight. And the first one,
so that's obviously Bomblin. What's your favorite
name? What do you want to pick for the bartender?
Ah.
Ah. I like
uh,
Takula?
Whatever. I can't
I can't bear right now.
What is happening? Am I having
a stroke? I think it's Tequila.
Ah.
Tequila.
I'm writing it down in
the lore. All right.
Build a floor over it, right?
Tequila. It ends up
to you, Bomblin. He's like,
look man, you're
losing all these bets. You're getting into fights.
You're breaking my bar stools.
You're hurting my people.
And you look over and they're just like
in pain standing there. He's like, you're trying
to rob me?
I'm going to give you one more shot.
And then you're kicked the fuck out of the
flail in it. All right?
All right. All right.
I'm sorry, you know.
Times are tough out
here. I'm trying to build
a church.
Uh huh. So
building a church means you need to break bar
stools and try and rob me?
Yeah.
Well, maybe not
inadvertently, but it
will help us along the way.
Not unless you just
want to hand over your establishment
to build a church
of wraith. I'm sure
Reverend Raz likes the
good old pit of death right in the center.
I do kind of like it, but
here's the thing. Listen.
Money's good, but
you know what really builds a church?
Community.
And I think we can all come together and
find a really good place of worship here.
And to probably get me out of
your bar, I know you don't like me hanging out in
here. Yeah.
Sorry, sorry I killed that guy earlier.
Yeah. I already told you.
No ritualistic sacrifices
here in the flail now. It's on the wall.
And he points. It says
no ritualistic sacrifices.
And it looks like there's someone trying to kick someone
down the well. There's like a little
image of it.
It's just an image of Reverend Raz kicking
somebody down the well with like
a big circle with a cross through
it. Yeah. He's like
look. It's literally you.
Sorry, I broke your one rule. My bad.
Listen.
It's... See
your bar rules and my religion are really similar.
You know, you have your one rule
and I have my one rule, which is
everything dies. So that's like the
only thing.
As you guys are
talking amongst yourselves,
you hear a
ahem. And there's like a
fancy dressed man standing behind
the three of you. And he kind of fixes
his tie. And he's got this
huge
orange mustache like ginger.
And he's wearing
a really nice hat. And he has
like a pen and paper.
And he looks at you three and he's like
well
good to
see all of you.
You guys
look like some
very talented adventurers.
Is this correct?
I guess
it is correct.
Well, the way that you dealt with
I am more of a hired
gun.
Well, that's good news then. Anyway.
The way that you dealt with
these
how do you say patrons
of the Filial Inel is
it's very good. Very talented. And me
in the corner I sit I watch.
It's very nice. My name
they call me
Mr. Thornberry.
I don't have a first name. Mr.
Stickybuns.
I might change it to Mr. Stickybuns.
I was gonna tell chat go on ahead and use name
a thing to give this man a first name. But his
last name will be Thornberry.
He's got beautiful big mustache.
He's holding a piece of paper. I'll be so upset
if none of you guys
suggest Nigel.
My name is Mr. Thornberry. You see.
I uh
wander. I write
and sell books on monsters
and places.
I'm here in common still.
Well, for my own
business. But you see
I'm in the need
of adventures. Like yourselves.
You have proved yourselves in this bar fight.
And I now
am ready to hire you.
Watch out!
He's wild! That's right.
So as he says that we're gonna let this
name a thing continue and we are going
to take our first break of the night. We went a little
bit over. But you know what? We're having fun.
So before we do that we're also gonna do a
thumbnail pose. First one
of the campaign is a thumbnail
pose, y'all. You excited?
I'm excited. Y'all got anything
in mind?
Music
Watch out. He's wild.
We got Mikey. Mikey
Sticky Buns. Thornberry
Sticky Buns Thornberry.
Laughter
I like Sticky Buns as a first name. That's fucking
funny as shit. Maybe
we'll go with that. But first
thumbnail pose time. Yeah!
So what this is, chat, if you're just tuning in for the first
time ever, you can throw out random poses
into chat and these guys will do their best
to interpret it however the hell they want
and they'll pose as that thing. And then you can take
screenshots of them and post them down
in our Discord or on social media
for all of us to have some fun with and
Photoshop them into weird places doing
weird stuff. And you could also
screenshot these here at the beginning and you can make
weird Photoshop's with them and submit
the Photoshop's in the Discord for us to review
during our short rest toward the end of stream.
Test out your Photoshop or your
art skills and we will
check it out towards the end of stream. So if you have
any suggestions, go on ahead and throw them into
chat. But for me, you
guys, this is kind of one of the first ones ever.
So I would really want you guys to just pose
as best you could to
show off your character personalities.
However you think that
is. Alright.
But some suggestions for chat. You've got like
Titanic, you know, YMCA,
the anime pose,
you know what I mean? Anything like that.
And try, if you can, see
the screen in front of you. Try to keep yourself separated
as best as possible so we can
Photoshop you individually and all that
stuff. Make sure there's green in between each other.
And do a sedangal pose.
Proteus.
Nice. Beautiful. Beautiful.
Alright, second one. From
Certifiable Nerd, pose, iconic move in
the last fight. Oh.
This is like, uh,
are you actually barefoot right now?
I can be.
Yeah, flip off that shoe.
You should, like, kick, uh,
one of these two in the chest or like
pretend like you're going to. Can you hold your leg up?
Oh man. I don't know. You guys
are gonna have to be Johnny on the spot
with the screen cap.
Who's
Johnny? I don't know.
I'm kicking Boblin though.
Alright.
Can you just stand in the back with a wild face on,
Proteus?
Here we go, Boblin. Hold on, let me move you this way,
Boblin.
Shit!
Alright, hey,
we tried, we tried, we tried.
Good job, y'all. Um, we will
be right back, everybody, so don't go anywhere.
Um,
bare feet, uh, bare feet is against TOS
if they're sexualized in any way on stream. We actually
learned that. So just showing them is fine,
as long as you're not sexually using the feet.
Human feet. Human.
Human feet, not bare feet.
Yes, yes, yes.
It's not against TOS because
they're not my feet. I have
bare feet. He has human feet.
Right, right, right. Um,
okay, so we're gonna take a short break, everybody,
and we'll be right back. Welcome back, everybody, to the
first ever episode of
Love, Death, and Dice, or LDND,
right here on the Grouch Couch.
This is our first episode. I'm your lovely dungeon master
of the night, Turkey, and I'm here with Proteus
Connor and Fishy.
We're here in our second act of the show. Thank you
all so much, so much for joining us
and still being here and being awesome. We,
this is, I'm so happy
to be here tonight, so thank you so much for joining us.
Um, hi, Sooni, what's
up, dude? Hey. Yeah, dude, 36
months! And he also was up while
we were on break, so 37. Cheers, Sooni.
Thank you so much for being here, buddy.
Cheers, man.
37 sweet
months of noting Sooni
Mahara.
Yikes. That's right, that's right.
I wonder if I can drink through this thing.
I'm gonna try.
Oh, it's like waterboarding.
Yeah, that was just gonna be moist
the whole, the whole rest of it.
The entire time.
No, no, no, no.
You believe you can do anything.
That's right. Alright, as we
last left off, our three heroes got into
a big bar fight in the formerly named
by chat, Flail and
Ale Tavern. The, one of the
most famous taverns, this side
of Vintoxica, right here in the north ward
of Common Steel City. Our three heroes managed
to defuse the fight, one way
or another, helping their
fellow Legion friend, Silva
Stonefist. After the fight was
over, they got into a small argument with the bartender,
which I did write down his name too,
Tequila, the bartender,
and were approached by
Mr. Thornberry,
who says that he might have a quest
for them. And we did get some
suggestions here in chat
for Bjorn Thornberry,
Barry Thornberry,
Bear Lee Thornberry,
and the other one was Sticky
Buns Thornberry. And because
I said it earlier, we're gonna let Connor pick the
first name of Mr. Thornberry
before we continue.
I really like
Sticky Buns, just so you know.
Too bad,
cause I like Barry
Thornberry.
Okay. Jesus
Christ. Barry Thornberry.
So now, we return
this Barry Thornberry
invites you guys
to come and sit with him at a table,
cause he has a
opportunity for you.
He says, yes, well,
you see,
I, Mr. Barry Thornberry,
have
a problem.
And I'm looking for someone who
is willing to push
the limits to help me
with my problem, you see.
And being that you just fucking
kicked that man down into the well of nothing
here in the middle of the flail and alley,
and I think maybe
you'd be the ones to help.
So if you agree, I'll be...
As one does when trying to convert somebody to their religion.
Right, right, right, right.
Yeah, something like that.
If you agree, I'll be over here at this table.
Feel free to speak amongst yourselves
and meet me over there.
We can talk.
And he
fixes his mustache,
adjusts his floppy hat, tightens his scarf,
and turns and walks
over to the table.
Well, you guys can talk. I'm gonna go talk to him.
Okay.
As long as he is
paying well,
I don't see a problem with helping.
You do have a substantial debt.
I don't feel like this is gonna be a
helping type of quest.
Nor was you...
Nor was you helping
by throwing
another bar patron.
I don't see a problem.
I threw him
so they would throw me
so I could rob the bar.
I don't see a problem.
I don't see a problem with throwing me
so I could rob the bar,
but let me work out.
Let me work out.
Well I suppose
we should talk to
the moustachioed man.
Yes, we shall go talk
to the moustachioed man.
All right.
You guys walk over
and sit at the table next to him
and he, once again,
fixes his mustache and he goes
chronicler, wizard and of course celebrity at your service. I trust
you've noted the violence in our city recently as of late.
You're welcome. Yes these past 10 days there's been a lot happening here but I
haven't seen so much bloodshed since my last visit to Oakheart. It was you know
something crazy and now I fear amongst all of this violence in the town of
Common Steel I have misplaced my friend. A friend that I do hold dear.
And what is this friend's name? Well my friend's name is Tony. He's got you know more beauty
than brains. He's real nice, real kind of guy and I worry he took a
bad way. Took a bad way home a couple nights ago and I you know he could have
been kidnapped or even worse. Look, there's the deal. If you three agree to track down
my friend Tony and you do it with haste I can offer you a lot of gold. For now. You
see I have something else in the works they may be able to give to you as long
as you do it fast enough. And let's just say I've been recently in the market for
property.
So I just gotta go kidnap your friend and you'll pay us? Yes I'll give you ten gold a
piece. That's all I can pay for now. But if you find my friend quick enough. I thought you said a lot of gold.
Well ten dragons is nothing to shake a hat at you know. Being that our city does
deal in copper and silver you know ten gold that's like a hundred dollars. Yeah I
will. A piece. That still won't even buy you groceries. Hey not nowadays no will
not. Preach my friend preach. Anyways. Did you say something about preaching? A piece.
Oh you want to do 15? Roll me a charisma save there T357. Do it. I will do my best. Yeah.
If I had a nickel for every time I saw a character in D&D actual play show
remind me of Nigel Thornberry and I have two nickels and that's a lot. But being
that it's happened twice it's something to take note of. You know what I agree. I
fucking agree. Oh my goodness. He only got a three. He's like no I think ten will do
fine but here's the deal. If you manage to get my friend back fast enough and I
still have this thing I've been working on I maybe I'll just give it to you
instead and you can kind of deal with it as it is. But let's just say it's worth
way more than 30 gold dragons all right.
Right but you must give us more than your friends name to go with to locate them.
Right right. So I'm kind of embarrassed to admit but you know first let me
explain my friend. You see he's very handsome. He's a handsome male in his
early 30s. He's got wavy beautiful red hair reddish blonde kind of hair. He was
dressed in princely garb when I last saw him you know two nights ago before he
disappeared. I was drinking and merrymaking at the skewered dragon down
in you know the other side of common steel a body tavern in the dark ward. I
recommend that you start there. I'm embarrassed to say that I may have
gotten my friend in trouble and you know I don't know when to say a lot about
what happened the night where we drank too much but I know I did leave before
him and the next day he was just gone. So hopefully he's somewhere. So I would go
to the dark ward maybe look around maybe there's some signs of violence on my
friend.
Well okay if that's all you need and we can kick start our fun for the new
church then you know that's great but there's one question I have for you.
Would you willing to be a follower of our new community of death?
Community of death you say. Well I I had been writing books about monsters and
religion other kinds of stuff and you know tell me about your your death
situation maybe I'll put it in my next book. Well the great thing about our
religion is there's only one rule. Only one rule that everything has to die. Not
right now or you know a month from now but it just has to eventually.
We'll meet you at the docks reference. Yeah this is never gonna end. We'll meet you at the docks buddy.
So you know all that other stuff on the table is on the table. That other religion excludes you from.
Primarital sex, murder, you know friggin you can do pretty much whatever you want
as long as you die at the end. Now our one thing that we hate is those goddamn
immortals. Their mockery of the death like the vampires, the demons, the angels, all the other gods.
Yeah well I mean what about your God himself is he immortal? Do you hate him?
No, Ned Bratt is immortal. He's this ethereal being that goes around and travels people's
soul to the other realm. So hold on I'm not working.
Quick be embraced and let's get the show on the road.
Okay looks like you have a message yet to repay.
What was your name again?
Raz.
When you save my friend you come you tell me more about it maybe I'll put it in a book
because me, Barry Thornberry, I uh I read books I'm famous book writer here in these parts.
So tell me more about this Ned Bratt when you return. Cheers and good luck.
Cheers!
That one guy at the party we need that fucking meme of that dude like oh shit Nicky hitting us hot with it.
Oh that meme of that dude talking to that girl at the party it's like whenever she asks about death
and it's just fucking Raz like that's what we need.
All right Raz you get to do a crotch speech about it now um now don't talk for too long but
here you go buddy stand up on something give us a little speech what you got.
Okay well let me tell you about this religion right here.
Yeah.
Well as you guys already know from the conversation I just had from the weird mustache man
there's only one rule is that everything dies and you have to accept that everything dies.
The one thing that we hate as you already know is you know things that are immortal things that
can't die we don't like that shit very much because it really doesn't follow the whole mantra of you
know die so uh it's a pretty free religion you can do whatever you want um fuck whoever you want
and you can say whatever you want so it's no constraints really you just have to believe
in death itself and it's incarnate and then it's going to happen to everything.
Fair enough buddy fair enough can we get some cheers and chat for Raz
doing his crotch speech y'all doing his crotch speech.
Hell yeah.
It kind of feels like an anti-religion.
Because it's like do whatever kind of religion yeah yeah let me see here we're gonna go with
I didn't get anything new but we're gonna go with uh uh what stand give us a speech
oh no oh no the commander hitting off talk more about that religion Raz
who's the couch corn for Suni?
I'm going to go with Suni.
Gumblin would you like to see the afterlife right now?
Praise be to this speech.
Raz all right Raz.
I would if they didn't just send me right back here to protect him anyways.
So as far as the religion goes we do have a hierarchy of priests.
I was sent here to this town by my head priest Telemathy.
They they're kind of mean to me but I they did teach me everything that I know about
the religion and they're kind of a guidance that I have but the main thing is that they're a higher
rank than me and they told me to come down here and start this sect down here.
A lot of people think that my religion is a cult but it's really not like that man there's no like
kool-aid or anything you have to drink it's more just like you know you accept death into your heart
and you know that in the end you have your one truth that everything dies.
Fair fair all right but uh I have enough to do four more of these don't please at least spread
them out a little bit spread them out a little bit that'll do looks like uh Tess went in the
stand by road. That's a compliment or not that crotch does make me want to die.
I love that good hey Tess Tess power up come on now we're leaving all right you got it.
Yeah we're moving now so we walk our way all the way down to come and steal docks.
All right so as you guys are leaving you walk out into the city you see the full moon in the sky
the air hits you it's fresh nice the place is fairly quiet as you walk you can hear the flaps
and flips of your bare feet on the stone floor because I believe all of you are barefoot this
campaign. Nope nope barefoot human feet naked feet bucket feet just wanted to see how long you
can go for that's fair now it's just like a ting ting ting is yes okay absolutely fucking lootly.
It is no worse than somewhat wearing a armored suit.
You walk through the north ward of common steel all the way to the dock ward on the edge of the
river as you turn the corner you find yourselves on a street that has been kind of cordoned off
by the knight's acquisition the king's acquisition as you look forward you can see lying on the
cobblestones are about half a dozen corpses seemingly the victims of some kind of terrible
terrible skirmish you can see the king's acquisition officers have disarmed and arrested
three completely blood-drenched humans and are in the midst of questioning these witnesses.
As you walk out you can hear one of the officers pushing people by saying get on get on nothing
to see here nothing to see here. Hey reverend now it'd be a good time to distract them gods
I'm gonna go and pickpocket all the dead bodies and maybe grab a snack.
What do you mean distract I was just gonna go talk to him about religion.
And as you get closer test you see a mark on each one of the three men being arrested amongst the
blood on their neck we see a tattoo of a green snake in a shield which is the mark of the black
network here in common steel all three of them hands behind their backs in shackles.
Now what do you guys do?
You gotta not to be a dunce but it is the black network the legion.
Yeah so the black network is this common steels section of the legion it's ran by the old TPK League
leader of course Narcissus Gloomingdale and they all wear this mark on their neck
so people know which part of the legion they're from.
Shoeless that's good Rachel shoeless is good.
So as you three stand there what do you do just tell me oh and also um actually before
before we continue I forgot new system new rules everyone roll me initiative this is a new scene
boys and girls it's initiative time let's do it better say slay them.
I got a seven seven four fishy.
Who's fishy? I don't know Bomblin who's that? You're making me angry. Eight for T357 and eleven for Raz.
I finally got these bad rolls out of the way. Yeah Raz is going first this time around but
because Raz got to go first last time as well we're gonna go counterclockwise how about that?
So Raz you're first we're going counterclockwise so Bomblin you're next. Raz
what do you do?
Well I'd like to go up to uh the gentleman guards and uh introduce myself good evening
good sir get on get on wait wait wait I have something that might interest you
I don't care about what you're doing I just would like to intrigue you. Everyone wants to
impress the king's acquisition yes look took me years to get to this position but if you
won't in you're gonna have to sign up like everyone else all right. No sir I wouldn't like to join
I would actually like you to join me in faith. Faith? Yes. Ain't nobody around here really
believing in faith since them dragons burned down all them churches eh? Yeah that is tough
and it kind of sucks but my religion makes all of that better. Does it? Oh yeah you see once you
accept death into your heart and you know it to be true everything else around you just melts away
and your anxiety and depression fade. So like the six blokes right here behind me the dead
right? Yeah. The dead guys right so your religion what you're gonna do then Mr. Mr. Skull Face Man
Death Cult Guy what you gonna do for these six dead guys huh? You got something to say?
I'm not gonna do anything for them I think it's great that they're dead.
All right. Yeah. Sweet. All right well would you like to see a trick? Oh yeah sure you
got something for your cult you're gonna show me? I guess um I I would uh I'm gonna go up to the
the dead bodies. Hey hey hey hey hey step back. Wait wait wait this is going to be a cool trick.
This is what my faith has allowed me to do. Do your cool trick from over here unless you want to tell
me what it is then maybe I'll let you buy them all right. It's a great power that was
bestowed upon me by Ned Braith himself the god of death. I don't know if I trust you.
Go on ahead roll me a Charisma save see if he lets you through.
Bomblin what were you whispering? What do you want to do?
Oh damn it. I was trying to tell Forge of Lore that I have eyeballs. I see from my eyeballs.
Yeah. But to be fair I can't I can't really see.
It's just kind of big little little tiny bit but but I would like to be uh sneaky.
Is he is Reverend Razz got them distracted enough and pulled away from the dead bodies?
He just completely failed his check. Oh. He got a two completely.
Unless. But unless.
You failed your check to convince him to let you get closer. You can try something else though.
Okay. How far away would you say Tess and Boblin are?
Where are you guys in this scene? If we picture the scene in like a circle in the middle of the
street and Razz is right in front. Where are you guys? I hope you want back.
I hope you want to push the shadows to not be seen. Very far away I hope.
A little bit but I have to get close enough to that steal stuff.
Oh you will be able to. Eventually.
They don't need it anymore.
We will. Hi I'm also in the shadows.
All right. All right. Would you two like to make me a stealth role? This would be dexterity.
See if you guys are hidden. And Nikki.
Wait to roll Razz. Let these two guys go first. But Nikki coming in late but coming in hot with
that reroll. That's an eight for Proteus. That's a ten for Boblin. You guys have dexterity bonuses?
That's an 11. I might.
I might.
Damn it.
There's a bird giving away our position. Shut up stupid bird.
Shut up bird. Yeah my bird's going hot right now.
Well I failed again.
Yeah and Razz got a four. I don't even know what you were.
Oh you just rerolling the other one. So that's cool. One second.
So we failed our stealth roles. The stupid bird gave us away. Tess what's your play? What are you doing?
I was going to try and track down where they were taking fellow members of my group.
Oh so we're not trying to save these guys?
Tess?
I did not succeed.
That's not what I was trying to do.
The people on the ground are already dead.
I'm trying to follow the lead who are arrested.
Oh.
Okay.
I missed that.
But Razz you still fail your persuasion role to get closer.
All right. All right sir. I see you don't want anything to do with my faith. I'm sorry for bothering you.
A thousand apologies. A thousand apologies. I will move on.
You guys are in the shadows a little bit but he still sees you and he's like hey I can see you over there.
I imagine it's like a bear trying to stand on the other side of the wall but my belly's too big.
So you could just like see my belly and my snoot and I'm just like oh damn it.
Yeah. Hell yeah. I see you over there.
I'm gonna walk up to the guards and I'm just gonna be like hey guys.
Hey. What are you guys doing with the dead things afterwards?
Keep it moving. Keep it moving.
Well it's not really none of your business there bearkin.
Ain't you all dead?
Um maybe.
Yeah. You're all gone.
Anyways. In any business.
We gotta do a full investigation.
We're gonna take these bodies.
We're gonna take them right up to the north ward.
All right. We've got some iron heads.
We're gonna be taking after these bodies.
But look it ain't none of your business.
Why am I even telling you?
Huh. All right.
I've just gotta walk past him like the way he's been chewing us the whole time.
All right.
Continue on then.
Sadly. Yes in turn.
Yeah you've all failed your checks.
And LestT357 wants to do something.
Your last here in initiative order.
Excuse me officer.
Yes hello.
My apologies for the intrusion of my ward.
Yeah. Okay.
It's fine.
I would like to inquire about the taking down of guild members.
Guild members. Well.
Yeah there's been a lot of fiction fights.
Here in common steel.
There's uh. I don't know.
These dudes with things on their necks.
Little tattoos.
This is the bald guys. They've got eyes on their heads.
Tattoos.
I don't know. Black networking.
Creature infection. Some kind of something.
Fighting each other.
Beating the shit out of each other.
Literally murdering each other in the streets.
And that's what we kind of bringing this up to.
A lot of, a lot of uh.
You know.
I want to bring those of your men down to the flail.
There was a similar fight that broke out this evening.
No way.
There were casualties.
All right.
Well.
I'm going to have to look into that.
Here there's a big hole in the middle there.
Yeah. People just get pushed into that stuff all the time.
Did that happen again?
Yes.
Ah.
At least you're good for something I guess.
May I inquire as to where you are taking the prisoners?
Well these uh.
Three assholes are going to go to the brig.
Probably down in the east ward.
We're going to take them up there.
Take them in for questioning.
See what the hell is going on.
And have you identified the identities of the deceased?
Not yet.
But soon.
I'm going to go to the brig.
All right.
I'm going to go to the brig.
All right.
Thank you for your cooperation.
I will be taking my wards on my way.
Wait a minute.
Thank you for your cooperation.
Get on.
That's my saying.
I would like to usher Bumblin and Raz
down an alley so we can track
where the legion are being taken.
Okay.
There's not much
valleys.
But as you guys all kind of walk around.
Um.
Tall. Densely packed.
Tenements.
Like buildings.
Leave most of the neighborhood in shadow
with this here ground level.
Most of the street lamps have had their
like glass smashed out.
Candles are stolen.
And the smells of salt in the air.
They kind of linger.
As you pass by all these run down
buildings looking for a
some kind of alleyway.
On the corner of this street though.
One nearby shop
stands out to you guys amongst the others.
It has a deep
purple kind of facade about it.
And in its window
hangs a stuffed little
goblin creature.
Above the door hangs a sign whose
elaborate letters spell out
out.
Chat.
Use the name of thing and name this here shop.
There's a shop here in the dock ward.
Use the name of thing
and name this here
shop.
As you guys walk to the corner you don't see any alleyways
but you do see this shop
sitting there.
And then the road continues
on to the right.
What kind of shop?
It's looks like from the outside
these guys see odds and ends.
Magical things.
And there are
monster parts of such
like bones and other kinds of stuff in the windows.
Mm-hmm.
Shop you make shop face.
Fuck off, charity.
The fuckery.
Y'all out here.
It's cause I didn't give you enough details.
Alright, how about this.
The name of the shop
is the odd
McBob odd
McDod shop.
On the
little sign there.
Do you guys want to go in the shop or do you continue down the street
on your investigation?
Is the shop
open? Yeah, looks like it.
There's still some candles
on the inside.
Do any of us
have money?
I got a gold piece.
One single gold piece.
Odd bits.
Like that.
Hoodoo voodoo. That's pretty good.
That's pretty good. That's what we'll go with.
Hoodoo voodoo.
Great pacific plastic
catch. Yeah, do you guys want to go in?
Sure.
We're going to walk inside
and then just stand at the
window and try to like
kind of just mimic the
stuffed goblin in the window
as well.
And try to look like merchandise
and then keep an eye out for
the king's guy.
Okay. Taking the
region members. As you guys
walk in, I'm going to direct
towards you first Raz cause you're the top here
in initiative Raz.
You walk in first.
As you
walk in a cloud of
lavender scented purple
smoke trails out of the shop store
as you peer inside. Every wall
seems to be painted purple.
And every dusty knick knack
on the shelves is
dyed a deep violet.
There's a hairless old
gnome sitting
cross-legged on top of the counter
wearing plum colored
robes. His cheeks
decorated with
nine purple
painted eyeballs.
You recognize
this similar design as someone
that you just kicked down a well
earlier this day.
The gnome
lowers his pipe, exhales
a cloud of lavender
smoke and before even raising a hand
says, oh hell!
Well met!
Come in friends, browse the
shelves of the most curious
curiosity shop in the world!
Howdy!
Hey there! How ya doin'
friend in red? Oh wow
I'm doin' just dandy.
You know? And it's all because
of this great religion that I have.
Ah! Come
around, grab a pipe. Do you want to talk about it?
Sure!
Alright!
He's sitting in the seat
next to him. There's a little
pipe sitting there already smokin'.
Yeah!
It's a great religion!
It's good!
Yeah!
And you know, some religions
out there tell you to abstain
and you can't do things and there's like
sins and whatever. The only
one thing, the only one rule with mine
is that you gotta believe that everything
dies. That's the only
thing. You know everything does die.
Life sucks and then you die, friend.
And once you learn to accept
that, you'll be as carefree as me!
Yeah!
Definitely! So, what brings you
three into our old shop?
And he looks over at you, Bomblin.
Why ya in here for?
Ah!
As I'm staring out the window?
Ah!
Just, uh,
window shopping!
Ah!
What about you there, my
Warforged friend? Oh, Warforged
are welcome here!
Why, thank you
for your kind sentiment!
You're welcome!
What do you do
in this shop?
Well, I sell trinkets
and assortment of trinkets, you know?
And you guys look around,
you can see on the shelves
he does indeed sell
an assortment of trinkets. All different kinds
of small little odds and ends.
Being that you guys have no money,
I feel like you're kind of just a little bit of window
shopping. But there are like some
weird, strange looking potions,
necklaces, rings, bones,
other kinds of weird little stuff.
And he's
like, you know,
I, uh,
just sell stuff. I'm just here.
And I'm kind of, you know, keeping an eye out,
seeing what's going on,
keeping an eye on everything around here.
Did you see all that stuff happening out there?
Bunch of people died.
Oh yeah, it's pretty good-
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
And I'm gonna trip and fall into one of
the rickety bookshelves and knock
it over. And just crash
it- Oh no! Oh!
Oh, you're pretty! Thanks!
And then I want to steal one!
Before you get to steal, I would
like you to roll me some kind of- I wish it was
a performance roll for your fake fucking falling.
Um, I think it's just gonna be
a charisma check. Let's see here if we got anything
else that maybe you're- maybe you're good at.
Yeah, it's just gonna be a charisma save to see
how well you're convincing
on your fake fucking falling as you knock
down this here shelf.
Uh, this- this is rap.
That's an 11. You got a
plus one. That's a 12, which you do not beat the
target- current scene target number of 14.
Yeah.
Yeah. Sorry buddy.
So, he looks at you and he's like,
Alright friend,
there's no way that you just fell there.
The floors are dry,
everything's nice here.
And he just completely eyeballs you. He's like,
I've played this game before.
Ah, just
to know I was talking about the crazy
things happening outside.
If you still want to try and
steal something, you could make me a deck save,
but it's gonna be a hard roll, which means
it's a 17, not a 14.
Should we go for it, chat?
I wanna go for it. I feel like
this guy's got- cause it's
just like a magical
items odds and ends kind of stuff.
Like, you know, yeah.
Yeah, I think we're gonna go
for it. Oh god. Because
bruh bruh bruh, should I steal something?
I don't
have any guidance to say you shouldn't,
but, you know,
you shouldn't be yelling at it.
I'm sitting right next to the guy that you're
stealing from.
Yeah, yeah, we're gonna
gonna
steal something.
He can still hear you.
Oh god.
That's so bad.
He's like, it's somebody. Hey, if you wanna buy
something buddy, come on and come back later.
Okay?
Come back later.
Ah,
okay. Do not take
anything. Look,
I'm here.
I don't have nothing
in my hands. But I seen
you. I seen you trying to take something.
I know, I was just
looking at it.
Maybe I'll go outside. I think I'm just
gonna stand outside.
Why don't you stand outside?
I talk to your other friends.
Alright, I'm sorry.
Do you got a bathroom in here?
Uh,
no.
Okay.
I'll hold it. Praise brave.
Praise brave.
Maybe you'll get
a bladder infection
and die soon.
Yeah, that'd be great. I totally had a chart up here too.
So, anywho,
you guys on the search for something? Are you looking for
somebody? What's going on with you two?
What's up?
Fourforged? How is it?
We were trying
to figure out what started the
commotion. We only came in
for the tail end of
the massacre.
Hmm. Yeah.
I have massacre. As far as I can see,
uh, yeah,
it came, started up the road. And then
came down this way. It was, uh,
it's a bunch of people just fighting each other.
I was just watching the whole thing,
smoking my pipe and just being like, hey, come on
inside. They didn't want to.
They just murdered each other. They came right down
the street and just,
that was it.
You
seem like a fine fellow.
Hmm.
Thanks.
So,
is that it?
Or, I mean, what are you guys here for?
Well,
I don't know, really.
I just like how people are
related.
Hello. Good shopkeeper.
I would like to, uh,
I would like to purchase
one of your wares.
Does he do this often?
Hold on. Alright.
Hold on. Let me just slide by
the warforged and excuse me.
Oh!
And I want to knock down the next shelf.
Okay, dude.
Roll me performance.
This time we're going to make it a hard roll
because you're doing it again.
You gotta beat a 17.
I rolled a freck.
Chad, come here.
Seriously, guy?
Chad, please help me.
No, leave my bear.
You want a mask.
It's rerolled now.
Yeah.
Yeah, he's like, oh, Jesus.
There you go.
Okay.
Tell me now that my
disguise is spot on.
Let's see.
Hey!
Hey! 17!
You hit the target number!
Oh! Fair patron!
Fair patron!
Why is your floor
wet and I would like to steal
something on the cabinet
I fell on.
Okay, so since you succeeded on your previous
roll and you knocked it over, we're going to
make this an easy roll this time.
So you only got to beat an 11 when you
swipe this thing. Go on ahead and
do it. Let me get the chart up here.
Oh! Good!
I'm using a couch card! Can I use
my couch card? I have one of
those, right? You do. You start with one.
I'm going to use my
couch card to reroll.
Man, he just really wants to
steal shit. Yeah.
Get it.
Hey!
You did it! You did it!
Alright, let me see which relic
you pick up here.
I'm going to take that and be like, God! Jesus Christ!
Why is your floor wet?
This is such a hazardous
establishment! You are
getting negative reviews on
EOB! This
establishment is terrible!
This is the awful thing! I know! Hey!
Someone else just fell in here earlier
and I didn't believe him. He looks kind of
similar to you.
Well. Hey!
Are you guys done shopping yet?
Hmm?
Go wait outside!
Alright. Are you guys done shopping yet?
I was never shopping in the first place.
I was just talking to the shopkeeper.
Alright.
Oh, fuck it! This is alright. Yep.
Alright. You guys leave.
You sell wares, but do you
also purchase them?
Yeah, sometimes.
Absolutely. If you got something to sell,
I'll buy.
I have an item called
Keoghans.
I have an item called
Keoghans Cube.
It is a magical item
of great power I am
not in need of.
Really? Well, hey!
Let me see it!
He's gonna look it over and be like
hmmm. He pulls out a little magnifying
glass as he sits on top of the counter
and he's like hmmm. Well, this is pretty
neat. I'll give you 8 gold for it.
Do you not realize that it
bends reality?
Oh. Could you show me?
He hands it back to you.
I'm going to have to align
the colors and symbols.
Okay.
What does Keoghans
Cube do actually? No.
So, Keoghans Cube
is a cubic
puzzle with colors and symbols
that when aligned are
able to bend reality.
Chaos card.
Oh shit. The first one of the campaign.
Alright, so they can't actually bend reality.
That's what it says, huh?
Alright, so you align it and then
like when it happens
I'm gonna say it's like minor illusion so you
can kind of like make something happen.
Like you can change the colors of the walls
or the smoke or you can make, give
yourself a mustache. Whatever you can think. It's like
a minor illusion cube when you finish it.
So, yeah, we're gonna...
T357 gets a chaos card.
Why don't we go ahead and draw that
and then you can explain what happens and maybe this
chaos card will help us.
I've never seen
to do that before.
Charades! You must mime
what it does.
You got charades now. Motherfucker!
Fuck.
But hey, now it's been drawn this campaign
it won't be drawn again until the deck's empty
so that's fun. Alright.
What does it do?
Bomblin? Little help.
You fixed
the cube. And then...
Boom! There's an explosion
of...
Waves?
Waves. Water.
An explosion of waves.
Oh, we're getting high?
Fucking finally!
Of smoke. There's an explosion of smoke.
Oh, an explosion of smoke.
An explosion of... sucking very
small penis.
Of waves of smoke.
Is it colorful?
Colorful waves of smoke?
Colorful waves of smoke.
Okay.
Karate chop them to death!
Karate chops the
waves to death.
Is that it?
Yeah? No?
Alright, well maybe you can tell us
during the short rest what it actually was.
How about that? But that's what
we're gonna say it is. And there's an explosion
of smoke and he's like...
He's like, oh!
Okay. Hey!
You can make smoke, bud. That's cool.
My kind of explosion, huh?
I'll give you ten gold for it.
Yes. Alright. Sounds good.
And he gives you the gold.
And then he's like, alright, well,
thanks for coming into ye olde
odds...dod's shop.
And I'll see you guys around.
What is his name?
Does he have a name?
Nope.
He does not. He does not have a name.
I'm not hearing my notes. He does not.
Alright. Well, you guys leave the shop.
Chingalingaling. Bomblin, do you want to know what you got?
What you stole?
You, my friend, stole...
Everything I've been working for this entire episode.
The gelatinous
ring.
It's a ring that allows you to turn
into gelatinous ooze
for 1d4
rounds, once per day.
Oh my god!
What table is this in?
It's on mini loot
relics, so you don't even actually have it.
But that's what it is.
I rolled a twelve.
Did you have to be based and send that to me?
I can't play. I don't remember that.
It's a picture. You're gonna have to...
What's that?
It's a picture. It's a picture. It's a bad idea.
Mini loot relics.
Number twelve. Gelatinous ring.
Turn into jelly ooze for 1d4 rounds.
Yes. This could be useful.
Could be.
That's what you get.
Now, as you guys are leaving, you can see that they've almost
cleaned up what seems to be the whole area
of all of the
blood and murders and stuff that has happened.
They've already started carrying off everyone.
So the area is no longer sectioned off.
But you look up to the left
of the street and you can see a place
called Candle Lane.
And all of you have been in the city
for a while in the North Ward, so you know what
Candle Lane is. Normally, it's
completely lit up with all these beautiful
candles. It's like a boulevard here in
Common Steel City. But all of these
streetlights with candles that are magically
lit up, the of course
Mystics of Magic help keep these on
on a nightly basis.
They've all been shattered.
Almost all the candles are off.
I can see a gummy bear. Exactly.
Oh my god, a gummy bear. Jesus.
But as you look up this
alleyway, this street, you can
see almost all of the candles
are broken, except one
that shines right in front of a warehouse
that has the logo
of the Legion on the front
of it. A snake inside
of a shield.
And we're gonna take a break!
That's where we're gonna leave it, you guys.
We're gonna take a short little break, cause it's fucking hot
and I know these boys want to take some breaks
so we're gonna do another thumbnail pose.
And proteus. And proteus. And a little break.
And proteus, yeah.
I can't fucking believe Gummy Bear happened
episode one. I can't believe
that. No, you know what? After you
activate it, it'll be Gummy Bear.
You have the opportunity to become a Gummy Bear
now. Yeah. Like I got a
question. Is that gelatinous?
Am I like a jello or am I
just like a Gummy Bear?
I kinda like the idea
of trying to get to a Gummy Bear.
I don't know what being a
Gummy Bear would help with, but
You know what? We can leave it up to
interpretation. Whenever you activate it
we can talk about it then. And
I'm down to roleplay
however you want. What if we roll like a D4
to see how like thick
the Latinus 4 might
take. Okay.
Alright. I'm into that. I'm into
that. Yeah, leave it up to chance.
The Latinus Bear Cube.
Yep, you got it, Sooni. You're just
so sweet. Yeah, first they're sour.
Then they're sweet.
Bumbling. That's right.
Alright, we're gonna do a thumbnail pose, y'all.
Y'all know the deal. This is basically where you can
throw out random poses into chat and these guys will do
their best to pose as those things.
They'll interpret it however they want. And then
you can screenshot them. Post them in the Discord
or you can make memes out of them.
And then during our breakdown, here tonight
during our short rest towards the end of stream
we'll review everything that was made for the night
and have some laughs and
show off all the fun ass shit that you guys made throughout
the night. Alright, so if you have some screenshot
pose ideas or if you just want to take some
screenshots and post them in the Discord
please go on ahead and do so. And remember
just post them underneath the love death and dice
section in the Discord. Just
right there so we can check them out. Same with clips. You guys
if you made any clips make sure to post them in the love death and dice
section. Best
mime. Caught stealing.
Everyone do caught stealing.
That's pretty good. Pretty good bomb room.
Alright, next one is best mime.
3, 2, 1,
go.
Nice, next one is holding
in a fart.
Nice. Alright everybody we will be right back
in a couple of minutes to
break into the third act of tonight's
shell. So don't go anywhere and
thank you so much for joining us. We will be right back.
Appreciate y'all.
Thank you for being involved and being fucking awesome.
And if you're just listening, watching on the VOD on YouTube
or just having some fun enjoying the story
thank you so much as well.
Appreciate you for being here and we really do. I hope you
enjoy the show. I am Turk
and I'm here of course with Proteus, Connor
and Fishy. Hi guys. Welcome back.
Hi guys.
What's up?
We are continuing
right off. Our hero so far tonight
got into a bar fight. Got a
quest from a man named Barry Thornberry.
He lost
a friend of his
and sent our heroes off on a quest
to the dock ward of Common Steel City
to try and find him. Our heroes
came upon a crime scene.
What looks like a
faction brawl where a bunch of people
die. They entered a shop nearby
and Bomblin stole
some stuff.
The first gifted item
to Reverend Raz.
Thanks Rum Tom. I'm gonna roll for that in a second.
And now
our heroes find themselves on
Candle Lane here in Common Steel City.
Now
you guys know you've been here, living here a little while.
You know that Candle Lane is usually lit up
with dozens and dozens of candles.
Being magically lit up
by the mystics of magic who reside
here in Common Steel City. But as you look
down this lane you can see that all
of the street lamps are out.
The glass is broken. The candles have been
put out or stolen.
And the only light that's still on
is towards the very end in front of what
looks like a warehouse. And in the front of the door
is a giant tag
of a snake on a shield.
The symbol of the black network
of the Legion here in Common Steel City.
Any grouch couch tattooed on my biceps. You betcha!
Now before you guys get to do anything though
we're gonna roll for an item! Yeah!
And we're gonna let Connor roll for his own dingle item. So roll me
1d6.
Raz. Roost to Reverend Raz. And thank you
Rum Tum for gifting the item.
You get to pick 1d6
for what chart you're gonna go to. That's a 3.
1 and a 2
and a 3. Ooh.
Cursed loot, Raz.
Teehee! Now roll
me 1d100.
Here we go.
Is that an 8 or an 80?
That's an 8.
You rolled an 8 out of a
hundred. Yeah.
You get the Cloven
Sword. Weapon.
Plus two attempts.
Effort. You cannot
put this sword down
and until you remove the curse
you're slowly
starting to become a goat.
Teehee!
Ah!
Take that
you shitty human!
Ah! Nothing makes me
more happier than watching you
turn to heaven. Wait, am I holding the sword?
You're holding the sword.
God damn it. You can't put it down.
You can try to attempt
to put the sword down.
You can try to make an attempt
to put the sword down.
Couch coin.
Ah, thanks Dan.
I appreciate that buddy.
Thanks for the couch coin.
You can do
two attempts I'm assuming per day
to try and put the sword down. You must make a
wisdom save to put it down
to the target number.
If you don't each day you're slowly becoming more
and more goatish until you find
someone to remove this curse so you can
put the sword down. Alright, well I'd
like to attempt to drop the sword.
Alright, make me a wisdom save.
You have to beat the target number of
14.
Does this not
follow your policy of
religion?
No. I mean,
I don't give a shit about swords. I just don't want
to carry one. There's a reason why
I have a book on my hip.
Talk about derailment.
Oh, that's a dirty 20.
Oh, with a wisdom of plus
two that's a dirty 20. Unless chat has
something to say about that. They want to
try and bring it down to a 13.
Somehow, looks like you're
going to put the sword down. When you do put
the sword down, you're standing in the middle of the
road with your two partners.
Do you throw
it? Do you put it down to the side? Do you hand it
off to someone else walking by?
It's exclamation point reroll
now, Rum Tum.
Damn it, I didn't want to tell them.
It's for new people. They come in, it's easier for them to know
what reroll is.
Damn it, don't tell them.
I'm telling them. Rum Tum exclamation point reroll.
Reroll!
There it is. One more time.
One more time.
Fuck. Ten plus two.
Wait, so is that my first try?
That's your first try of the day.
Okay, well I'm going to try again.
As you try to throw the sword down, the sword
is going to be thrown down.
Try to throw the sword down, the sword
is going to be here in your mind.
Oh, fuck this shit.
Damn it!
Sharon, it gave you disadvantage.
Oh, that's so
funny. He rolled a 14
too. You got to roll it
again and take the worse one.
I'm going to roll it again.
I'm going to roll it again!
That's a ten.
You hear in your mind
BAAA
But then
I want to make this so it makes sense to
your character. The sword is convincing
because you hear this goat
BAAA
but you see this image of this
Billy goat spiritually in your mind
when you hold the sword.
And the goat has a goatee, of course.
It's old, but it looks to you and
it says
All things
must die, Raz.
We die together.
BAAA
And then the
image fades.
Fuck.
Now, you guys walk up this road
moving on quickly.
Gloom envelops this narrow road.
As dark
as a dungeon. And
as odorous as one.
Two. Nearly all the
street lamps have been smashed.
The only light that pierces the darkness is
faint, flickering down the lane
like a distant candle.
You three walk down the lane
eventually reaching this lamp
the only light source. You see
in front of you this warehouse.
T357, immediately you
recognize this as being one of the
Black Network's warehouses
where they store different kinds of things before
shipping them off. Because not only
does the Legion deal in mercenaries, but they
deal in weapons.
The people in the world.
Now,
you three stand in the yard.
In front of you is a gate.
You've never
left. I mean, Ned
Braithew.
Yes.
I'm gonna
bring you guys over to this.
There you go. Your roll 20 hopefully
changed.
Yes. Yeah. In front of you
is the yard. There's a gate
and a small picket fence that runs around.
Everyone here in chat can see it as well.
You three stand. What do you do?
Roll.
Do we need to roll for a new
initiative order?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're 100% right, Test. Thank you so much
for reminding me. Everyone!
Roll for initiative.
16 from Boblin.
5 from Test.
19 from Raz.
Dude, what's up with you and initiative rolls today?
Hi, Raz.
You are first.
And then we're going clockwise this time.
So.
What do you do?
Alright, wow.
Oh, I actually have a
magic eye. Is, uh,
can I check if the, the
gate right there is locked or not?
Absolutely.
You walk up to it and shake it
and feel that it is indeed locked.
Oh, okay, cool. So I want to,
I want to use this magic
item that I have just because it's fun.
But it's called Bag-O-Keys.
Each time that you
reach in
this magical bag,
you extract a key.
5% chance that it's
the key you need.
So, you can roll a D100.
And if you get a 5 or below,
it's the key you need.
Wouldn't I just be able to roll
a D20?
And if it's a 20?
What is
5% of 20?
Is that 2 or below?
No, that's 10%.
So, yeah, it would either have to be a 20.
It would have to be a 20. Yeah.
So you could roll a D20 and if it's a 20.
Okay, let's do a D20 then.
Let's do it.
Oh my god!
Holy shit!
What? Amazing!
No way!
Fucking great, dude!
That's amazing!
Holy shit!
Holy fuck! Cheers, everybody!
I can't believe it!
Fucking chat right now!
Can we get some
I was here for this in chat?
This will be clipped later.
Can we get some I was here for this? Cheers, y'all!
Holy god!
I am starting to believe
in the power of religion!
Holy shit, dude!
Wow!
Cheers!
Take it for the 10, bitch! Be down!
Oh my god!
I literally can't believe
that. I can't fucking believe that.
Yo, Baga Keys is fucking
overpowered!
Well, I
I'm gonna
unlock the gate then!
Okay, you walk up
and in amazement
the rest of the party stands there
as you pull a key out, put it
into the lock, and then it opens.
You three step inside.
Now
evidently
the key for the gate
is gonna be the same as the key for the door.
If you
attempt, you think that Raz would attempt
to try both.
I mean, it only makes sense.
Right.
You lock it and
it unlocks.
Before you open
the door into this hideout
is there anything you want to say
or do?
Bah!
We are entering a
Legion
headquarters.
If we run into any members,
let me speak to them.
Do not
rush in and try to beat them.
They will not react kindly
considering you owe them so much
of a debt.
You're probably
right. Maybe we should stand
behind you quaking in our boots
while you take the sweet sweet lead
profitability.
It's the prophecy foretold.
Thank you for the clip, Suni.
Okay.
Tess, do you want to take the lead on this?
I believe
that will be the most fortuitous
thing to do.
Okay.
Whoops. Look at that.
Okay.
You...
step inside.
As you
do, I love this fog of war. It's so
fucking cool.
You can see immediately
tables and chairs
have been carelessly tossed
around the floor.
The corpses of a dozen
men lie along the walls.
The rapiers and daggers lying
nearby.
On the north side of the area,
you can see stars, stairs
begin to rise to an
open level above.
But then your eyes shift quickly as you see
four short
avian creatures with long
beaks and black feathers
look over in surprise from where
they stand in the middle of the warehouse.
Each wears a hooded
cloak and wields a short sword.
T357, these
kinkou, you know them by,
do not look familiar to you.
You do not know these kinkou.
They are not a part of the Legion.
But the bodies behind them
look familiar.
Raz just went.
We're going clockwise. T357,
you step into this room. We're now in
initiative. What do you
do?
Halt in the name of
the Legion.
BLEH!
All of them get mad as soon as you say that.
They start flipping around their wings and they all
brandish their swords.
Well, fellas, are we ready
for another brawl?
I was hoping that
it wouldn't come to this.
You said it wouldn't come to this!
B-Town!
I gave advantage to you,
T357. B-Town, your name
isn't pink, buddy. Are you in the mystics?
I don't know.
I'll give you this one. But the next
one, you better join a faction, buddy.
Alright, go ahead,
Tess.
Recalculating.
Nice.
I would like to dive off to the side where this one is.
Nice.
I would like to use my armed blades to attack.
Nice.
Okay.
I am.
The name ain't pink. I think it is.
It's
that. Hey, there you go.
Okay, roll to hit.
T357, let's do it.
That's an eight.
Yeah, the target
number this scene is a 14.
With your strength
and your roll of eight, that puts you
up to a nine. But you get advantage
on this roll, thanks to B-Town.
What does that mean?
Basically, it means you get to roll that
D-21 one more time, and you get to take
the higher roll.
Excellent.
Mama needs a new pair of dice.
That's a 15.
Plus one.
That's a 16.
You hit. Which means the first actual
weapon roll of this campaign,
D6 plus two.
Let's get it.
Hey,
I hit somebody with that chair earlier.
Yeah.
And then I tried to hit somebody with
somebody else's nest.
Seven damage to this guy.
As you stab him with your
arm blades.
He's like,
And he kind of like,
he drops his
short sword and it tingling.
On the ground.
Nicky with the plus one.
Are we allowed to do damage on these?
I think we are. The Iron Heads are allowed to do
damage. That makes it eight damage.
Hell yeah.
You deal eight damage to this thing.
It drops its short sword.
And like, gets ready
to run away.
And being that,
it's my turn now.
I believe it does just that.
As it drops its short sword.
And scurries away.
It's going to move its full distance.
Try to get the fuck out of here.
It's actually going to go outside.
Past you. As you two stand in the doorway.
It rushes past you.
It gets the hell out of there.
There's no attacks of opportunity
in ICRPG.
Now, the other three
move in.
One moves in.
It's going to try and strike you with its short sword.
It's a 19.
I imagine I am going to
shut down for good soon.
It's true.
This is a tough episode.
Unless chat wants to help.
That's a tough one.
I'm going to take a quick drink of this.
Mmm.
This is good flagging right here.
Good tankard.
I'm drinking atomic pumpkin.
For anybody who's curious.
These beers were provided to me by the homie James at work.
Thanks James. Cheers to you buddy.
Alright, I got to reroll. Thanks, Jerity.
Let's go.
I'm going to move over to
quickly. I think your AC is 13, right?
Let's do it.
6. It misses.
The other one moves to the door.
Moves outside.
Sees Raz in this wide open door.
Looks you right in the eye.
And clucks its head to the side.
And it goes to stab you, Raz.
With a 19.
I think that hat.
What kind of loaded dice are you rolling with?
I know right. That's 4 damage.
I can't change my chat color on mobile.
Alright.
Hey, no problem Beat Town.
But I'm going to hold you to that.
A potion.
Potion of healing.
For T357. Nice.
So on your next turn as a bonus action,
you can drink this potion.
We'll make it a full on 1d10
healing potion.
You might be able to heal back to max.
Ooh, certifiable. Just heals you.
They rolled 1d10 and got a 2.
So now you're up to 5.
Congrats.
Good. Cause this one
comes around the side.
That's going to target you.
Yeah. You went in first.
What is that?
A saffron. You're lucky.
It misses.
Alright.
Bomblin.
Fantastic.
Aaaaaaahhhhhhh.
I don't want to hit.
Yeah. Where's my cursor?
I would go run and charge it through the door.
Oh, I'm stuck on the door.
Why am I stuck on the door?
There you go. Is that better?
Thanks.
Got stuck on the door.
And then I'm going to swing
my heavy claymore sword
at the one right in front of me.
In front of Tess.
As an outlander,
your sword is pretty badass, is it not?
It is.
Aaaaaahhhhhhh.
Takes up 3 inventory slots
but does ultimate damage.
Attempts over 15 plus may stun targets
by halving its effort,
which means damage.
Effort equals damage.
Yes.
So, I roll strength
to hit. Is that how that works?
Yes, sir.
Alright.
And we swing.
It's on cooldown.
Nineteen!
Which means you're going to hit the target,
you're going to deal damage,
and this means that it will become
stunned, which means on any attacks
it does now in the future,
its attacks will be halved.
A one!
Fucking...
That sucks.
But hey, you have a plus one to ultimate,
so that's two damage you deal to this thing.
But it is now stunned,
so all of its attacks moving forward
will be halved.
Yeah?
Stun means?
Yeah.
So, does that...
Re-roll that damage?
You can't usually re-roll on damage,
but you know what? That shit was sad as hell.
So why don't you do it for us? Go ahead.
Yeah. Re-roll that damage.
Three damage.
Instead of a patch!
It's nine!
What the hell?
Thank you for the try there, Vita.
I appreciate that. Thank you for the try.
Okay!
Does that end your turn, my friend?
Yeah!
Sorry, Tass. I was really trying to save you.
Raz?
You did your best!
Yes?
What do you do? It's your turn.
Well, I'm gonna...
Gift an item!
I'm gonna gift an item!
Oh, thanks!
We will draw it on
Bomb One's turn, but for now, Raz,
what do you do?
Well, I'm gonna go up to the
bird thingy right in front of me,
put my hand on its shoulder,
and I'm gonna activate my
Vampiric Ray!
You said Vampiric?
I thought you didn't like vampires!
No, no, no, no. This is...
I need to put better flavors
text on this.
I wanna put like...
Chromatic Ray or something.
I wanna put like the Gift of Death.
Gift of Death Ray.
Get me!
I don't even wanna call it a ray.
I just want it to be a Gift of Death.
But anyways, here how it works.
Extract Life Force
from a living target within
close range,
and transfer
Effort Rolled from
their health to yours.
Hell yeah.
It's time to Necrotic Roll.
Ray Ray Ray. Hell yeah, dude.
Alright!
So, you don't...
Every time you cast a spell in this system,
you have to roll to cast that spell to see if it works.
So basically, you're calling upon the
gift of your god to make sure that he
blesses you with the ability to cast that spell.
So you still have to roll a d20,
and you have to beat the target number.
I believe this is an intelligence spell,
so you actually get to roll intelligence
as a save, which you have
plus three too.
So, roll a d20, you just gotta beat
that 14.
That's a 17!
Alright!
Your spell is active, which means now you get
to roll your magic damage, and all
the damage they take, you suck in.
Which is a d10
plus two magic damage.
You have the ability to completely kill them.
You completely
kill them with that 10 damage.
They're completely dead.
You want to explain to us what we see
as you suck the fucking life out of this kenku.
Allow me to show you the image of death!
And I just grab onto him and
slowly...
Is there like a mist,
like a life force that comes out of this?
Like a life force that comes out of this?
No, I'd like to think of it as like,
you can see all the blood in that creature's body
flowing to that one place where my hand
flowing to that one place where my hand is touching them.
It's like all the veins and everything?
Yeah, they're like popping out, right there.
And it's being sucked into the palm of my hand.
Badass.
But it's not vampiric. It's not vampiric.
Chat.
Sure it's not.
Have you ever seen it when somebody gets their life force
taken out and they turn to an old
person to the part where they turn it to
like a mummy and then a skeleton?
Yes, it's basically a mummy,
a dried up corpse
with no essence to it.
With no essence to it.
Slowly withers and dies
in the fetal position on the ground as it falls
out of the grip.
Chat's saying that you're choking the chicken.
We're choking the chicken
in front of people.
We talked about this.
Huh?
Is your what?
Is my max health 10 or can I heal
for all 12?
Your max health is 10.
I don't think it gives you temporary health.
I don't think so.
Because that would be
a broken health.
But now you're at max.
Alright, so this thing is dead.
I'm going to put a dead
counter on it.
I don't know how to do that yet.
But anyways, it's dead. So
do you want to move, Raz?
Yeah,
I'll go ahead and move inside.
And now you can
move yourself.
I kind of want to go to like
the center of the room.
Okay.
I want to go
like
right
here. Is that okay?
That's far as hell, but
I think you can go maybe here.
Or like here. Okay.
That works.
Okay, now it's
Tess turn again.
Oops, Tess, what's
you?
Hello. Hello.
I would like
to stay where I am.
But I would like to incapacitate
this one
of the Kenku.
Hell yeah. Hell yeah.
The one directly
in front of you
is taking the three damage and is now kind of
stunned. The one to the right of you
is still at full health.
And actually
you did damage to it too, right?
How much damage did you do to that thing? I didn't write it down.
I, the
one I damaged fled
the scene. Oh yeah.
Okay.
10 minus 3
is 7. Right.
Now,
what do you do? Which one do you attack?
I would like
to attack the one with full
health to not
kill but stun it
into submission for questioning.
Okay. Let's do
it. Roll the hit. Let's go.
They are
Kenku. They look like crows, but they're
people.
15. That's hit.
There it is, people.
Yeah, that would be so funny.
Moby's here, finally. Dude, I've been waiting for you this
whole time. Where have you been?
We've missed you. Cheers, Moby.
We've just been allowed to
profuse all of our profanity.
Oh, really? No.
What the fuck? Fuck.
Fuck, fuck. Cheers, fuck.
Fuck.
Alright, that's a hit.
Now, roll any damage with your
weapon. Does that mean you have
to chug your drink?
It kind of is just one
drink every... So I like to say it a bunch
and then just drink once. It's fun.
Yeah.
Oh, don't forget to heal 1d10
from the potion before you end your turn.
Good reminder, Niki.
Yeah, but first
roll me your damage with weapons, which is
1d6 plus 2.
Yeah, Kenku do speak, but they only
mimic. Holy shit, an 8 damage.
God dang.
8 damage. You hit this thing
and it looks
scared. It's got 2 health left.
It's like,
Yeah, they do speak, but they only
mimic. Kind of woke up.
Wait for the show. Alright, so as you hit
it, now do you drink your potion?
Yes.
Alright.
So, roll me 1d10. You heal for
3 damage.
Hell yeah. What's your total now?
8?
Yes.
8. Hell yeah.
Hell yeah.
Okay. Now we're back to initiative order
going and clockwise. Raz just
went. It's your boy, Turkey. Turkey.
Oh. But you get a
reroll. Maybe you'll get better than 3. Hit it again.
At least runtime.
There was too much
fucking going on without you. 7!
So now you're back at full.
Nice. Congrats.
Congrats.
Alright.
This guy's freaked out. He bounces.
He's fucking scared. He leaves.
You got him down to 2 health. This one,
he's like,
he says some words.
But it's
in like a different
voice.
He says in like a deep voice
with like an orcish kind of accent.
He says,
Baa!
Creatures send their regards.
Baa!
And then in like a thin
nasally voice he says,
Tie up the pretty boy
in the back room.
Follow the yellow signs to the sewers.
Baa!
No time to loot the place.
Just get him to the boss.
Baa!
And then he strikes, bumbling with his sword.
Pro natural run.
Completely fucking misses.
Critical fails in the system
don't do much, but I feel like that's dumb.
He's gonna do 1d40 himself. That's
2 damage. Putting him down to 5.
Baa! No time to loot
the place.
Baa!
Now we're back to Bomblin.
Oh, rerolls on cooldown.
Sorry, B-Town. Bomblin would do.
Anybody...
Wait, my item. Hold on.
Let me chop this guy's head off first
and then you can give me my item.
Sweet.
Let's go.
We could give you info.
No!
You swing and you fail.
What?
Roll me 1d6.
Hopefully it's not a cursed item.
I'll debate on taking out the cursed items, but I think they're fun.
6.
I think it helps with the chaos of the court if we keep cursed items in.
5, 6.
Just cause Robin Rats is having a bad time doesn't mean the rest of us are.
1d100, Bomblin.
Or is that a baaad time?
Baa!
Ha ha ha.
Ooh, a 98.
You get...
The spell star
item.
When you use a spell,
pay no cost.
And regenerate that spell.
It's for advanced magic.
Reroll your d100.
Ah.
Ha ha.
36.
36!
Let's go.
You get...
Crystal symbiote item.
Plus 5 defense.
A green crystal
that hovers close
to intercept attacks.
How cool!
What the hell? That's so rad!
Yeah, what?
That's badass as fuck!
That's cool.
What? Plus 5 defense?
That's fucking broken, bro.
Just be careful
like putting it in, you know, the scene
that he has that crystal.
You don't want to make him look like some fucked up sim.
True, huh?
Yeah, that's what I kind of imagine.
Like a green crystal floating above his head.
Also drink.
Yeah. Cheers.
I would like to be standing
like right next to Ravrin.
And when the crystal goes around, it like hits him
in the head like bap.
Bing bap. Bing bap.
Okay, Raz.
That ends Bomlin's turn. There's one of these guys left.
What do you do? How long until he
gambles it away?
You're telling me it's worse
something? Oh yeah.
Magic item like that?
Raz, what do you do?
Should I be holding onto your valuables?
Oh! Pyro Club is
raiding, but I switched scenes as soon as the
raid came in. Hold on, let me
sing the raiding song
for you. Hold on, wait.
We have just been raided.
I wonder who it's from.
It's from
the freaking Pyro Club.
The Pyro Club!
Cheers to you. Thank you so much for
raiding into us right here on our episode one of our
brand new campaign of Love, Death, and
Die.
Oh!
Ola O.
Big Jim.
Big Jim Slade from Big Jim Slade Gaming.
It actually said
Did we get to the 2,000
K?
We might be actually 2K followers
unless someone unfollowed by the time we've been
streaming, but we might actually be at 2K
followers officially right now, everybody.
Can we get some hype and chat?
We're 2K followers!
We did it!
Oh my god!
Is that Thacko?
What's up, Thacko?
Oh my god!
What's up, buddy? I fucking missed this shit
out of you, dude. How's it going, buddy?
Cheers, man! Thank you so much for popping
in here. Hey!
Yeah!
We did it, y'all.
We hit 2K followers. Thanks to the Pyro Club. Thank you, Pyro Club
for joining over here and sending us the raid.
Everyone here who was already here,
a part of the nerd herd, make sure to give Pyro Club
some love, alright? Because
we love Big Jim and we love the Pyro Club, so
make sure you're showing some love.
Aloha, Disney!
Thanks for the follow!
2001! Thank you!
Appreciate ya!
Okay!
I got so distracted there, y'all.
I'm sorry. My voice just broke. I believe
it is Reverend Raz's turn.
For all you guys just joining us, we are in the middle of a
fight in a warehouse
amongst the Legion and
some kinkou, representing
the creatures. And our three heroes are trying to
figure out what the fuck, and they're trying to kill these kinkou.
There's only one left, and it is
Reverend Raz's turn.
We do. Pyro Club lives to disrupt
hate, and we live for it.
So here's our map.
Raz?
Here's what you see on the other side of the room.
What do you do?
Um, I feel like they can handle it.
I heard something about a pretty boy
tied up in the back room, so I'm gonna
go down here and take a left.
Right.
Follow the yellow signs towards the sewers.
Advantage or disadvantage?
Ooh!
T357! Hey, look!
You gotta be in the Mystic, Spacko, to
activate that command.
Are you switching factions right now? Look, I'll take it this time.
I'll take it this time.
Do you remember?
You remember this.
OG right there.
Yeah. What? Is Dragon's
Desire room coming back or what? Let me know.
Hi, Spacko!
Hi, Spacko.
Shoot, my bad. I totally forgot. Hey, no worries.
No worries. Okay, so that's what you
see.
But as you do pass by,
it's about as far as you can move
on this turn. But what I will say,
while you're running that way, do you want to make me a wisdom save?
Real quick.
A perception check for
ICRPG. Just real quick.
That's a
7. Oh, sorry.
It's a 6.
Okay, so you don't beat our target number.
That's okay. But with your
6, you don't see anything extra.
All I will say.
You do not see anything extra. But you get to the edge of the room
where there's more just boxes and things
kind of stacked up.
Oh, you got a
reroll from Zuni.
Damn! That's a natural 20!
Y'all can't see it!
But that's a natural 20, which means you get to mark
another point of mastery
right here in ICRPG. What is that, 3?
That's 3 to nothing.
That is 3.
I'm going to be
streaming some of them. Border
Gate 3. Until I fix my rig.
Dude, sick ass, bro. Sick ass.
Let us know whenever that happens, because I would love to join in on the fun.
I would love to listen to that beautiful voice of yours
once again. You guys can chat.
Follow Dragon in the dining room. Just do it.
Okay.
Zuni, you are the lucky charm.
You've been my lucky charm, Zuni.
As you walk
through the boxes towards the back of the room, Raz,
you hear
muffled voices.
No.
A single muffled voice coming
from underneath the stairwell.
Now, you've already made your movement this turn,
so you can't turn back now, but
as you are heading that way, you hear something from
under the stairwell. That's all I'm going to
give you.
Right?
Okay. Now, it's
T357. It's your turn, test.
Hello. Hello.
I would like to
hold the bird
to see if we can get any more information.
Nice.
Nice. So you want to, like, uh,
strength check? We'll do contested strength check
if you want to, like, grab him up.
Or do you have some kind of item
maybe that you can use
at all to tie him up? I don't think you do.
I do not believe.
I do.
Well, you can just grab him.
Absolutely.
A salami samurai.
I'm sick of y'all.
Alright, let's do a contested strength
check. The Kenku gets
you got a 15.
The Kenku gets
a 4.
You grab him. And he's like,
BLEEEEAAH!
You've officially got him
wrapped up.
And I would say, since you have
him grabbed up, this means
battle is over. Initiative is
done.
Now, this bird...
Squirms. Squirms a bird. I want to
loot all the dead bodies hanging on the
wall.
Hell yeah, dude. Hell yeah. But, uh,
the bird wiggles as you hold him.
B357.
And it looks up at you and just kikas
right in your face. What do you say to
him?
You will show
me where they're holding the
pretty boy.
In a deep voice.
Once again.
In a deep orcish voice, it says
BLEEEEAAH!
The creatures send
their regards. BLEEEEAAH!
That did not answer
my question. I
would like you to lead me to
the
pretty boy.
In a thin, nasally voice,
it says, BLEEEEAAH!
Tie up the pretty boy in the
back room. Follow the yellow
signs to the sewers.
BLEEEEAAH!
Bring me to the
back room.
BLEEEEAAH! Me too, Sooty.
I also feel the heat stroke.
Yeah, dude, same. I think
as you walk towards the back
grappling onto this kenku,
as Boblin begins searching all these
bodies, you get towards the back
and you see Raz already there.
There's a door
underneath the stairwell.
And?
Raz?
I've been hearing muffled voices
from under the stairwell. I think our
pretty boy is in there!
Yeah, now you...
The door's locked, Raz.
It is?
Yeah. Can I try the same
key that I had earlier from the front door?
Yes.
You put your key
in the lock and you open it.
Shhhhhh...
Yeah,
that's Natty 20 of the night.
The best one, dude.
The best one.
Okay...
One sec.
For y'all that were here earlier,
Reverend Raz has a little tiny
bag that he can pull a key out of.
And there's like a 5%
chance it will actually be the key
that he needs.
This guy rolled a Natty 20 on the
roll and pulled out the key
to the whole facility. So we've just
been walking through it like nothing.
True.
True as hell.
Thank you for coming to our Publins
history checks. What a what.
The creek's open.
As you unlock it, underneath the stairwell
in the darkness, you see a face
slowly look up at you
as the dust kind of settles.
And the face looks at you.
And it looks similar
to the description you were given, but you're not
really sure. And it
looks up and it goes,
Hello? Who's there?
Are you called Tony?
No.
Were you?
Wrong hostage.
Alright.
Have a good one.
What is your name?
And why are you in a closet?
Hey, I know Tony though.
I know Tony.
I do. Help me.
Okay.
Get up.
You help him up.
I do not have a name for this character chat. It's been a little
while. Use the name of thing command.
Name this other
hostage NPC.
Let's fucking go.
Use the name of thing command.
Help him. You lift him up.
You set him on one of the boxes. We'll get to your looting in a second.
Don't worry about that.
Don't you worry your little
bumbling butt about it.
You set him down on the crate. He's like,
Thank you.
You dealt with the Kinkou. Thank you.
They killed everybody, man.
Well, he's talking. I'm gonna rip one of the
legs off the dead bodies off the
wall and just kind of start gnawing
on it.
Could you not eat
my colleagues?
They're not using it anymore.
Sticky bun. There you go.
Sockpubba. Keep throwing it in there. We'll get there
one day, bro.
Going in initiative order,
T357 gets to pick the name of this hostage
because we're world building together.
Everybody's the way that this show goes.
So out of all these, you get to pick
what this person's name is, T357.
Once you've picked, let us know.
But the light is too bright
for his eyes and he holds it over his face
and he's like,
A lot of good games.
You're here looking for Tony? Why?
Why are you here?
We've been sent by a man called
Thornberry. Hired us
to find him.
Yeah.
Thornberry's a
wild guy.
He's like,
the creature faction
and the Legion
share fucking shit
on the second wall. He's like
holding it over his face and he's like
yeah, and the Legion
they
I don't know if you know this, but they
think that my father embezzled
a large amount of gold
while he was one of the lords here
in Common Steel
and that he hid
he hid all that gold somewhere in the city
in some vault
or something. They think that
they can find
it by using
some weird artifact or something that my dad
made. It's like some rock of
talking or something.
Look. Not this rock?
What?
Not that green one. No, that's cool though.
But it was last in the hands of the creatures
guild until recently. Apparently
someone stole it and the Legion
thought that I knew something about all of this, but I
don't. Look, my father and I haven't
spoken in years. I know nothing
about his vault, his gold,
his magical fucking rock
and I'm just getting caught up in all this shit
and me and Tony were partying together
and I know we kinda look the same
but these dumbass birds don't know
shit and
ugh. Look, I'm sorry.
I'm just stressed out. This was an awful
couple of days.
I can imagine you are
under quite the amount of
distress, Cher.
Thanks.
It's good you know my name.
Cher
was giving me my dad. I've been named Cher
for a long time.
Thanks, B-Town. I appreciate you naming
me Cher. Look,
I really appreciate you guys helping
me.
If you're looking for Tony.
Go ahead.
We may have
use for you yet.
Even with you helping us find Tony.
Yeah?
What is that?
If you would like
to alleviate your problems
with the Legion.
Maybe you could
searching.
It's okay. Take your time.
I know a lot of people in the town are like
racist against Warforged but like I'm fine with them.
I actually have a friend who's Warforged.
Just so you know.
How industrious.
Maybe
you could get closer to
your father to find out what
he knows and that
will get the Legion off your
back. Maybe. If you
smuggle information to
the Legion. Yeah, maybe.
Do you believe in life after?
Do you believe in life after
stairs closet?
Oh shit, cause it's Cher.
Do you believe in life after
stairs closet?
It's a reach.
I believe in death, young man.
Yeah,
I do.
I can try.
Me and my dad haven't talked in a long time.
You guys looking for Tony?
Yes.
Hell finding Tony
would be most wonderful.
I think they took the
Tony, the creatures people took Tony
down into their like
I don't know place.
Like hide out like down in the
sewers or whatever.
And like then they realized Tony
wasn't me and so then they came back from me
and look it's all fucked up.
It's all fucked up. I'm not Tony.
I'm Cher. And
I don't know.
If you want to find him
he's definitely kidnapped by the
creatures, the creatures faction who
mistook him for me and
he was taken to the hideout in the sewers.
Well, most beautiful Cher.
We appreciate
your work and
help with finding Tony.
Thanks.
If you can get close
to your father I'm sure we can
work something out with the Legion.
Yeah.
What's your guys' names?
Maybe I'll look you up. Thank you so much for
saving me. Like I owe you. If I learn anything
I'll come and I'll let you know.
You know? Well I'm Reverend
Rask of the Church of Death
that follows the only one true
death god, Ned Braith.
Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I've heard of that. My Warforged friend
talks about Ned Braith a lot too. Yeah.
They're always trying to get me to like
jump off a cliff and stuff. I don't do it
but like, you know, they're cool.
Cool. I am designated
T-357.
Nice.
Also called Test.
Alright.
And then we've got...
My name's Bumble and Barlow.
Probably the
one and only bearkin left
in Intoxica.
Unless you know something else like
maybe where all the bearkin go,
where's your father's balls,
where's this magic rock.
TELL ME THE INFORMATION!
He's having a hard day.
Oh, he thinks he's having
a hard day? We're having a hard day.
Alright, look, I'm gonna go now.
I was talking about you, Bumble.
I hope I helped. I'm gonna go now,
okay?
Goodbye, share.
Alright, guys. We'll see.
And he holds his stomach
and...
...living life after Kinkuu attack.
Da-na-na-na.
He walks out the door.
A couple Kinkuu got away
today, but there were a couple that died
here on the inside. And Bumble, do you want to
start looting things, correct?
Yeah. Yeah.
So all the Kinkuu you search, all three of them
that you've killed, they only have a short sword on them.
Nothing else. That's it. That's all they've
got is a single short sword.
But, you start looking through all these
boxes here and start rummaging through
things while they have been talking to...
They're about to get bodies out the wall.
Share. Yes. And you search through all the dead bodies.
Now they do have, as I have
noted here, they have
rapiers and swords that are kind of just
scattered amongst their sides. And you can see
that the bodies themselves have already been looted.
But, you start
looking through everything else. Unless you want to take
these short swords, let me know.
As you are
searching around, I would like you to make
me a wisdom check,
Bumbling.
Uh...
I don't really love how much...
I've been around the den. Hey!
I got a 19!
A 19. That is perfect. So...
You find
on this bottom floor, because remember
there is a top floor,
there seems to be a wall that looks weird
to you. And you walk
up to it, and it looks like
it's some kind of...
There's like some kind of secret room
behind this wall.
Uh...
Is there like a
like a bootcase nearby?
Or a bust?
Or a piano?
A grandfather's
floor? There is absolutely a fucking piano.
Yes.
Alright!
I got this!
Ah!
Chair and aristocrat. Oh my god.
What do you do with the piano?
Can I play
the Legion's theme song?
Yes. If you sing
it for us as you play it, so we know what the
Legion's theme song is and that becomes canon.
Legion members in chat, shout out if you're
here!
Do you approve? Go ahead, Bumbling.
Hello! That's funny.
Legion member
in game.
Alright.
Um... Do you have
any type of piano-like music?
No. But you
can sing it with your face.
Okay.
Ah!
Do do do, do do do!
Do do do do do!
Oh, sorry. That's the song of
The Legion's theme song is the song of
the swords, the song of storms from fucking
Zelda.
Do do do do!
Do do do do do!
Alright, you play it, Bumbling.
If we want to see if this is canon or not,
go ahead and roll me 1d20. Let's see if luck's
on your side today.
Just a d20? Oh no.
Beat the target number, 14.
Awww! 8, you fail.
That wasn't it. That wasn't it.
Try again.
Awww!
Right!
Okay, thanks, Zuny.
Might be.
Awww!
Still not it.
Can I...
Can I turn into a gelatinous
gummy bear and just slide through the cracks?
You could. If you don't want
to play the Legion song, you could totally do that.
I played the Legion song.
It didn't work. See, I got it at 11.
Turns out that wasn't the Legion song.
It's not canon. I guess it wasn't the Legion
song. Yeah, that's right. Alright.
Um...
What kind of gummy bear are you going to hurt into
when you activate your ring? What does it
look like to us? What do we see?
Uh...
What would look best?
I'll have to play
with settings, but I imagine it's like a
red gummy bear.
Really like gelatinous and jelly-like.
Hey,
cinnamon bear!
Cinnamon bear.
Spicy as fuck!
Zuny said.
Okay, so you turn into this cube,
this gelatinous bear,
it's red and cinnamon.
Kind of opaque.
And you approach the door.
How are you going to push through it?
You're going to push it through the bottom, to the top?
Through the rocks?
Through like that.
Like right when the door opens,
there's got to be some type of little
type of narrow crack.
Just like, ooze.
It's more like I lean against the wall
and then I like ooze through it.
Slowly.
And then we can oil
form on the other side of the wall.
I'm going to make the noises for you.
Ready? Alright.
Yeah!
Nice.
This room that was hidden
behind this secret door,
you have found.
You can see there are two wooden crates
stashed here.
The first one has a symbol of the docks.
You recognize this symbol?
You throw the top off of it.
And you see that it contains
four wood-
framed paintings
wrapped in leather.
The paintings
depict different kinds of things
all throughout Intoxica.
We are going to allow chat to use name of thing
and tell us what all four of these paintings
are. And of course it's my
turn, so I get to pick what all four
of these paintings depict. But what I will
tell you is these paintings are so nice
they are worth seventy-five
gold pieces each.
The second crate
you throw off the top.
It's got no markings.
But it contains fifteen
ten pound silver
trade bars. All
black from corrosion. But still
worth fifty gold pieces
each. There are fifteen of them.
Each one of them takes up one
inventory slot if you want to take them.
Additionally in this room there is a
lever to open
the secret door to get out.
Chat
use the name of thing. We have
how many paintings
was it?
Four paintings.
Use name of thing.
Depict a painting.
Alright and then we are going to pick them.
Now if you want to open the door
to allow your friends to help you carry there are
fifteen-
Nine silver bars. You can take nine.
They are each ten pound silver
trade bars. All black from corrosion.
They are worth fifty gold pieces each. If you
can find someone to sell them to.
There are
fifteen of them. You are going to take nine. There are
six left. Also each one of these
paintings takes up one inventory slot.
And they are worth seventy-five pieces each.
Do you open the door
to let your friends in? Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh there it is.
The lever. Alright. Yeah.
The door opens. There is some gummy bear
residue. You go inside to see
Bomblin staying in there. He's got nine
bricks inside of him but he's a
gummy bear. He just shoved them inside
of his gummy bear.
He's still a gummy bear just staying in there.
Yeah. Would you guys like to help
your friend carry these paintings and other kinds
of stuff? Yeah I'll take some of
the silver.
Alright.
He took nine. I will take.
Which means there are six left
and there are four paintings. Each one of these
things takes up one inventory slot.
Alright. I took the paintings
and the silver. The silver left.
All my inventory slots
are full now. Okay.
Four paintings, nine
bars and there are six bars left.
Right. I'll take three
of the silver bars. Nice.
Test. You can take the other three if you want.
So we've got some suggestions
in chat. Beatown says, Royal family members
naked wearing cat masks.
White textured painting
named Lady in Mayo.
The reeeeee
instead of
the scream. Love that.
Wrong leather ronk.
King Rufflecock riding a majestic
unicorn leading a legion of
ant creatures.
The cock leadeth the way.
Titled The Plot of Knives.
A seductive frog laying on a lily pad
clad only in pearls.
Okay. I think those are our four paintings.
But we have five so we have to eliminate one.
I guess we'll get rid of the reee.
We'll get rid of the reee.
We're taking seductive frog
King Rufflecock
Lady in Mayo
and Royal family
naked wearing cat masks. So the four
paintings that you get.
Remember that. I won't.
Okay.
Shortly after this.
I will take everything remaining
due to having
ten extra slots in my inventory.
Looks like you just take three
bars. Um.
That's all that was left. Now those three bars
are worth fifty gold pieces each.
If you can manage to sell them.
Um.
Now that you guys have searched the secret room there is stairs
that go up to the rest of this legion
area.
Um. But.
Shortly after
you guys exit
the secret room.
You hear commotion outside.
There's a familiar voice.
It sounds like.
Oi!
What's going on in there?
I know blood when I smell it.
And you hear the voice of the
guard you just spoke to earlier this day.
You see
shadows of what seem to be
ten or even fifteen different
kings acquisition.
You look around to see
you three
are surrounded by dead
bodies and dead
kinkou as the kings acquisition
begins to walk
inside of this warehouse.
I guess
yeah we'll go in the secret room and close the
door. Alright.
You hop in the secret room. You hit the lever.
The door
shuts. And that my friends
is going to end the episode
for the night.
You guys hide in the secret room.
And a legion hideout. Yay!
Cheers to the start of the new campaign! Yeah Moby!
Yay!
Welcome to the first episode of LDND!
LDND!
That's right!
I love this Reggie
painting idea Suni. You're so late!
But I love it. Um.
Thanks for taking the time to vote for biggym. We all do.
We're going to take our last thumbnail pose.
And then we're going to come back for our
short rest.
We're going to level up.
Each one of these guys getting a millstone tonight
for defeating the kinkou that was
taking over the legion guild.
You each get a milestone. Congratulations.
And we're going to talk about our
favorite and least favorite moments of the night.
We're also going to review any clips, art, or screenshots
that were taken. If you did take any, please make sure to
submit them in the discord.
Please do so we're not gonna do thumbnail poses cuz that time has already kind of passed, but please make sure
Mount Rushmore pose do we have to do it we got to do one more
I mean you did say I think we do we got to do it
But we're gonna come back and we're gonna do our short rest where we're gonna go over all of this stuff
Okay, everyone get your faces real close to the camera and just do us funny faces for a Mount Rushmore pose
Oh shit, I'm gonna have to squat for this
Love it love it you guys are killing it. Alright, so we are gonna be right back in
Just a couple of minutes and we're gonna do our short rest everybody
These guys will be out of costume so you can talk to them a little bit more
We will actually be at a role play so we'll be able to read chat a little bit better
We always do our best but we know how sometimes it is for role playing
So we'll be right back and we would love to hear feedback from you guys
So if you would like to join us for our short rest, we'll be right back