Hey everybody, welcome to Jon D Podcast.
I'm your host, Jon D Miller.
Welcome to episode number 54, everybody.
Number 54, numero cinquenta y quatro in the old espanol language.
That's right, mm-hmm.
882 going on, 883 at least days
by the time you hear this.
No boos, no boos, no boos.
What's going on everybody?
How are yous, how are yous, how are y'alls?
How's your summer going, huh?
I had the song stuck in my head yesterday.
What's the one?
Lazy, it's a Nat King Cole song.
Tell me you'll know this.
Some of your people are going,
what you been smoking, John?
No, it's a song by Nat King Cole.
It's called Lazy Hazy Crazy Days of Summer.
Came out on an album back in like the 60s, 63.
And it wasn't written by him, it was written by somebody else.
He didn't write a lot of his own stuff.
Not disparaging him.
But it's Lazy Hazy Crazy Days of Summer.
I thought of it because they were talking
about the Canadian wildfires.
That's why it popped in my head.
It's like, yeah, those Canadian wildfires.
Lazy, hazy, crazy, yeah.
That makes it, it sounds like a pot song, doesn't it?
That's what I think it is.
I think it sounds like a pot song.
But hey Canada, my Canadian people,
when we said, you know,
send some of that Canadian smoke down here,
that is not what we were talking about.
Yeah, Lazy Hazy Crazy Days of Summer.
It was funny.
It's got some funny lyrics to it, actually.
To quote it,
fill your basket full of sandwiches and weenies
and lock up the house, now you're set.
And on the beach you'll see girls in their bikinis,
as cute as ever, but they never get them wet.
Yeah, you ever do that, ladies?
Most of my audience is men, however,
I got some female listeners, you ever do that?
You ever buy a bathing suit, don't wanna go in the water?
I remember one time, this is literally like 25 years ago,
I was trying to get with this chicky.
And she's wanting to go to the beach.
And the closest beach was,
God, how, I get, like a real beach.
She wanted to like, oh, we go to like a real beach.
Like a real, like a real beach.
You know, like sand and waves.
I'm like, well, that all depends on
how big, what you call a wave, right?
Cause we've been to the beaches sometimes and
it's not really a beach.
We're like, yeah, here's the beach.
I'm like, it's fucking dirt and then there's water.
It's not a beach.
Well, I mean, it's a beach, it's a beach.
In a technical term, yes.
But there's not, you know, sand fleas and shark teeth
and shells, you know?
You can call something a beach just cause of the name.
Right, the Yugo.
In every sense of the word, the Yugo was a car,
but you can't, I mean, you're not gonna compare it
to a Mercedes.
People go to these shitty beaches.
It's a beach, the wave is two inches tall.
How the hell do you think that's a beach?
Uh-uh.
Gotta get some curls on those waves, right?
Some tubes.
Yeah, if your waves don't have tubes,
you're not at a fucking beach.
That's what I'm saying.
Yeah.
But anyway, this girl wanted to go to the beach
and I went to take her to the beach.
I didn't have any money.
At least a couple hours, right?
To get to a real one.
Like, really, like a real beach.
Okay.
Worked some extra hours at the ice rink where I worked.
Fairfax Ice Arena.
Uh, saved up some money.
I was like 22 or, I said 25 years.
I would not, anyways, I was around that age.
Early 20s.
It's got, so I saved money for like two weeks, three weeks.
I know, right?
Big spender.
And we went to the beach over in Maryland.
I don't remember what beach we went to.
Wasn't Rehoboth.
Was it Rehoboth?
God damn it.
Yeah.
My memories of that time in my life are sometimes blurry.
Anyways, went to the beach.
We get there.
See, making all these demands before we even get
to the beach.
Well, I'd like to have some food and I need,
we're gonna eat snacks and something maybe serious
to eat on the beach.
And some, of course, something cold to drink,
so we'll need ice.
And then, of course, drinks.
And then we'll need, okay.
I don't even know why I was so worried
about taking this girl to the beach, but I did.
Like she had one of those long shirts on, right?
That every woman owns one of.
It's for sleeping or the beach?
Yeah, either one.
Either one.
She took that off and she had on this really,
she had a really nice bathing suit on.
Looked good.
Looked good on her.
And I'm like, okay, let's go get in the water.
Because at the time I was young, I mean,
I used to swim in the ocean above my head.
I would just swim out.
Never in a million years, I don't do that shit now.
Never.
I was like, all right, let's go get in the water.
And she went, uh-uh.
What, what, huh, what, uh-uh?
Yeah, no.
What?
No, she literally spent the whole day,
she would walk into like her knees.
And at one point a wave kinda came
and like splashed up on her suit and she,
maybe, I don't know, I don't know.
It was blue, it was blue and had like white,
I remember polka dots.
I don't know what the fuck you call them.
Yeah, it was a one piece.
Wasn't a bikini or anything.
Yeah, but she got all upset.
It was a little fancy.
Yeah, she went to the real beach.
And that was it.
She wouldn't get wet.
Yep, the lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer.
Got the heat dome going on.
That sounds like it would be more fun, doesn't it?
Right, why can't we get one of those?
Can we order a heat dome for winter?
Does somebody sell that anywhere?
Yeah, I'd like to book your heat dome
for the second week of January.
That'd be awesome.
Actually, you could do the third week as well
because that's my birthday.
Yeah, could I do that?
Can I get your heat dome in January?
Is that possible?
Ooh, who books a ticket to the heat dome?
Can we do that?
Hey, you guys, I was thinking maybe in January
we'll go to the heat dome.
What do you think?
You think about, you wanna do it?
Just say heat dome.
It sounds like a wrestling event or something.
It doesn't sound like it's a catastrophic weather event.
Which it's been nuts.
There's no such thing as global warming.
What?
Are you sure?
I don't know about that.
Anyways, I hope you guys are staying cool out of that.
And then of course I was talking about the wildfires
up in Canada.
Guys, listen, to all my Canadian friends.
Okay, we said send some smoke down.
We weren't talking about that kind of smoke, okay?
But it don't, right?
That'd be my monologue joke.
If I had a show to do a monologue on.
I guess that this is my monologue, right?
I should make it funnier.
Anyways, which of course we don't have,
nobody has new late night shows.
I know summertime is known for being the rerun central.
But now we have all this streaming content.
There's new stuff all the time.
But the late night shows, the Seth Meyers
and the Colbears and the Col, well, Kona's not on anymore.
But all them people, people we grew up watching.
Those are my favorite things in the summer
was really being able to stay up until like 11, 30, 12,
whatever, watching some good old Johnny Carson, right?
With Ed McMahon, all that shit.
Right, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
If you slow down Ed McMahon's laugh,
he sounds like Jabba the Hutt.
You know what I was really like too
was when they would come back on Johnny Carson.
That would be a thing.
They were all reruns.
So I would get to see ones from like Christmas and you know.
One of my favorite things when I was a kid,
I remember watching, I don't know why.
I thought it was so, I thought it was funny.
But they would come back from commercial
and Johnny Carson would be putting his cigarette out.
Like on that thing.
Like he just, oh dude, shit.
Like I remember one time being a kid,
he could literally, he was just like,
he was putting it out in the ashtray.
They probably had one of those big orange glass ashtrays
that were synonymous with the time, right?
They made about a trillion and a half of those things.
And he was looking like he was putting it out in there.
And he's literally like blowing this one.
Like, right, like that.
We're here, we're back here with Ms. Brooke Shields.
Like whoa, why you smoking around Brooke Shields?
She was young back then.
Well, and we're back now with Farrah Fawcett.
I can't do it Johnny Carson.
I've never, I tried.
I tried when I was a kid.
I could never get it.
But I'm not a good impressionist.
I had a joke about it.
I was telling myself the other day
because I was doing a little silly impression.
I said, I am not an impressionist.
I am a mimic.
And if you look up mimic in the dictionary,
it says shitty impressionist.
So I think I might've done that joke before.
But of course we don't have new late night television,
whether they were on vacation or not,
which I do say that they take a lot of fucking vacations
only for these people who host these late night shows.
I know that they do five nights a week.
I get it people.
I know it's probably, and the thing is you only see,
you know, an hour of the show.
You don't see the, however long it takes to tape it.
Cause they will tape things over.
They'll tape, they'll tape, they'll do intros for the show.
Like the band playing the song.
They'll do it like three applause things.
They'll film the audience just clapping.
All kinds of shit that you don't see.
Now the host may not be out there the whole time,
but I bet you money.
They're out there for more than an hour hosting the show.
I have at times partaken of like behind the scenes
footage of stuff like from different shows.
SNL actually, if you ever get to see
any of the behind the scenes stuff about that
and the costume changes and the scene,
like the stage setting and stuff,
it's actually pretty interesting.
I'm sorry, the stage dressing is what it is.
I remember one time I was in LA
with executive producer, Tom Ik.
And we were at, we were on the set.
I never told this story.
Dang it Thomas, you gotta get your butt on here.
Should I tell the story?
I'm gonna fucking tell it.
No, well it pertains to what I was talking about.
Tom and I were out in LA
and through different connections that he had,
we were on the set of General Hospital.
No joke.
We were on the set and we'll explain,
we'll tell more about the story maybe,
but we were on the set of General Hospital
and one of our friends that lives out there,
a guy by the name of Jim Tucker,
if you're out there Jim, we love and miss you man.
We don't know where he's at.
But anyways, Jim was with us and we're sitting there
and Tom's looking at something on one of the sets.
And I'm standing there back and then behind us
is like a whole entire, like a living room den
type of setup for something.
And it had a wet bar, I had a bar right there
and in this container, this glass container,
were ice cubes, but they were plastic ice cubes.
And Jim reaches, Jim takes the top off
and reaches in and starts, you know,
picks up one of the ice cubes.
It looked real, but it was not.
And this guy just walked over and said,
excuse me boys, could you not touch the dressing?
So that's where I learned that it's called a stage dressing.
At least this guy called it that.
I don't, yeah.
She's not touch the dress, Jim is okay.
And he just put it down.
And I was like, yeah, quit touching shit.
Yeah, Jim, if you're out there, man,
email with johndpodcom at Gmail.
I don't, you probably won't hear this,
but if you do by some chance, hit me up dude.
Anyways, back to what I was saying.
So yeah, I know that in the summertime,
these guys tend to take a lot of breaks and that's fine.
That's whatever.
I mean, like I said, they probably work a lot more hours
than we see and that's okay.
And that's fine, not to mention other stuff they do, right?
I mean, they got a life, but they do seem to get a lot
of fucking vacation days.
Point being, regardless of what they were doing,
regardless of where, how much time they would be taking off,
they would be making at least some new episodes right now.
Right?
And they would kind of rotate them through
and stuff like that.
I mean, I do, that's the other thing about Carson
back in the day.
Remember he would, that was when you got to see
all the great summertime hosts like Joan Rivers,
guest host, like Letterman used to do it,
Gary Shanley, you know, all these different people
that used to come on there and guest host.
And it was awesome.
It was so awesome.
And Johnny would be in Mexico.
He'd be, I think it was, was it Cabo?
Something like that, something.
Puerto Vallarta, whatever it was.
Yeah, he would go to Mexico for like two months, you know.
Here's the show.
And that's it.
He'd be out and he'd be doing that.
And then, yeah, so you'd get all these great guest hosts.
And that was so cool.
But even then, they would still be making new episodes,
which means writers would still be writing jokes
and routines and whatever for these other guest hosts.
I mean, they would still be making new episodes,
but we're not gonna get those right now, are we?
No.
And this is part of the thing.
I actually recorded, and I've been working this episode
for forever, and one of the reasons why,
this one episode that I have recorded of this,
that just content, and one of the big things
that I talked about in the first part of this podcast
that I had recorded already was about the WGA Strike,
which I fully support, by the way.
I'm gonna say that right up front.
I absolutely do.
But I already did it.
But also, what would have been maybe the day last week
that I would have released it, the SAG-AFTRA unions,
Screen Actors Guild, American Federation of Theater
and Radio Artists, all decided they were gonna join
the strike too.
Now, because here's the thing.
I talked to that.
Here's the thing.
I had talked about the fact that if the actors and AFTRA,
I'm just gonna call them that.
If they join on the strike,
things are really gonna grind to a halt,
and guess what happened?
So I didn't wanna release an episode.
I'm just explaining this real quick.
I didn't wanna release this episode,
and people are going, yeah, John,
that fucking already happened.
What the fuck?
Because people don't understand how this works.
But yeah, and by the way, if you do a podcast
and it's live, it's not a fucking podcast.
Anyways, I'm just commenting on this now.
I've really been reading some comments and seeing stuff,
online chatter, through different channels and places
that people are upset about this.
Some people are mad.
They think their writers get a ton of money.
I know that the actors tend to get more money,
especially the pretty faces that you see on the screens
most of the, a lot of the times.
Yeah, those people get money.
But the thing is, you gotta realize,
what is it, the average screenplay?
You could use yourself, man, woman, or child,
whatever you may be, whoever you are.
You yourself could be, for the first time,
in front of a panel of people at Paramount Studios,
at Universal Pictures, and they would say to you,
hey, you, whatever your name is,
we would like to buy your movie, right?
And then those people will go,
we're gonna give you $100,000.
And you're gonna go, excuse me?
And they're gonna say, take it or leave it, 100,000.
And you're gonna go, well, I guess I'm gonna take it, right?
That's $100,000.
That'd make a huge difference in my life, right?
But here's the thing, they have to do it
because they have to go forward
and then hopefully they'll be able to sell something else.
But the studios or the production companies,
whoever decide to make this movie will take this script,
they'll pay you 100 grand,
and you'll never see another dime.
So take that on a scale of making a major motion picture
and writing it, and then taking it all the way down
to the people who make some very important,
very impactful, very entertaining content,
and they write the words
that come out of those people's mouths,
they're the ones who aren't getting paid much.
I'm saying on the smallest, the TV shows,
all this fucking streaming content
that's out there nowadays, right?
They're the ones who are not getting paid what they should.
One of the best quotes I saw from anybody who was a writer
who is talking about why they're on strike
was from Alex O'Keefe, and he is one of the writers
for the TV show, The Bear, which you can see on FX.
I have not seen season two, I've only seen season one,
but it's summertime and my kid's keeping crazy
fricking hours, and my wife doesn't like to watch it.
I don't think she would like the show, she might.
She's shown no interest.
So I just haven't been able to watch it.
And every time I do have a chance to watch it,
I'm either working on something else or just, you know,
I'm just not in the mood, not in the mood.
I swear that show gave me PTSD from all the stuff
I remembered and that's just other things.
Being so busy, you don't know what to do next.
It's just craziness.
Yeah, yeah, anyways.
But Alex O'Keefe was a writer on that show.
Now, it won awards, it actually won a WGA award for Best Comedy.
And this guy, Alex O'Keefe, who, you know,
if he's writing stuff like this,
he's probably got a very bright future.
However, when the whole process,
when the whole process of The Bear winning an award
was happening, Alex O'Keefe was living in an apartment
where the fuses were blowing,
it was having electrical issues in the house.
He could barely pay the rent.
He had to rent his tuxedo on a credit card
so he could go to the award show for his best comedy,
which The Bear is not a comedy.
I don't think they need to recategorize that,
but that's okay.
It's all right.
I don't know what you'd call it.
Drama, drama can be funny as well as serious,
but I digress, but that's what he had to do.
And his quote from a New York Times article
that was published a couple of weeks ago,
he was saying that Hollywood, the studios,
and everything they wanna do,
because there's just so much stuff out there now,
they're just cranking out things
and it's become sort of an assembly line.
And that can't happen.
So if you wanna keep seeing what these people make,
even at a base level, and I'm using base level
for lack of a better term, I guess.
I'm just trying to say, you gotta have this before you.
A lot more people write streaming shows
and do stuff like that than write multi-million dollar movies.
Which by the way, I was talking about the writer
for the screenplay.
You will get more money as a screenwriter
once you've had, you got an Oscar under your belt, right?
Got an Oscar under your belt and that,
maybe some of the actors in the movie won
or at least got nominated.
Yeah, that's when you start getting some moolah.
That's why when you always see
a first time screenwriter, right?
Whenever you see one of them in the award show
and they just won for best picture,
that's why they're so ecstatic,
because they know they're about to get hired.
I'm just saying, I'm not saying all of Hollywood
works like that.
I'm not saying I know everything about Hollywood.
What I am saying though is that this is very common
knowledge to a lot of people,
if you just kind of research it a little bit
and then you're into it, which is what
I guess my situation is.
But I support these people.
If anything, one thing I was reading on Twitter,
I forgot who shared it.
It was, it might've been Mark Hamill.
I follow him on Twitter.
I think, was it him?
Point being, somebody was saying they were gonna write
a nasty email to the WGA.
And it was like, why?
Why are you mad at them?
Be mad at the people who are giving $20 million bonuses
to their CEOs and you got writers for that same company
that have to buy, to have to rent a tuxedo
on their credit card.
You know, they can't just pay for it.
Like there's no hookup from the people who,
you know, pay for the show, who make the show anyways,
or who put it on the network or whatever.
No money comes to these writers to help them pay
for stuff like that.
And that's, you know, these people are not getting
paid enough.
Yeah.
So when you're gonna sit there and, you know,
you give people, a CEO, a $20 million bonus,
and you're telling me, well, we're losing money.
Well, I can tell you where you're losing a chunk of it.
I can tell you that.
How much, why, what do you do as the head of a studio
that you can make $20 million?
I get it.
It's a high-responsibility job.
I don't even know.
I mean, I watched Entourage.
I know that.
Right?
I know what heads of studios do, I guess.
I don't fucking know.
I love that show.
I was one of my own Lloyd, by the way.
I was one of my own Lloyd.
Yes, I did.
Yep.
I was one of Lloyd for an assistant.
Either that or a British lady.
My series British.
Anyway, I'm just saying, what do these people do
running these studios where they're like,
yeah, I deserve $20 million a year just for going,
let's make this project.
Let's not make that project.
I'm sure there's more behind it.
I do hope they figure this out
because it is gonna get,
it's gonna be interesting because
the studios have stuff in the can
or that you might have never,
that you maybe would not see
or maybe something on shelves.
The production companies have that or two.
There's different ways and means.
They're gonna keep trying to make stuff,
but it will eventually start to get a little stale.
So, yeah.
We need to hope that this gets resolved soon.
At the same time, you wouldn't want whatever your job is.
You wouldn't want to be underpaid for it.
You wouldn't want them to, you wouldn't,
we've all worked at companies where we felt like
we were underappreciated.
I think there's not a single person
listening to this podcast or even in life in general
where that hasn't been doing some sort of a task
for a reward, whatever it might be,
and felt like, eh, maybe I'm not getting enough reward
because these people seem like
they're getting a bunch of rewards
and I'm getting this little teeny, teeny thing
and I want more.
That guy got 20 million of them.
What the fuck, right?
That's what I'm saying.
The kiddo, my kiddo likes Colbert,
Late Night with Colbert, loves Colbert, man.
Yeah, we were watching the night of,
the episode was so old, he was on The Daily Show.
So.
All right, see, there you go.
I could do some monologues.
Geez, we're way too late for a monologue.
Wow.
What have I been talking about?
All right, I'm gonna take a break, actually, right here.
I'm not sure, I might be structuring my commercials
a little bit different, I don't know,
but yeah, I'm gonna take a quick break.
Don't forget you can support the show,
John D. Podcom, on Venmo.
John D. Podcast, John D. Comedy on Twitter.
I'm on the new threads, everybody.
You guys on the new threads?
Huh?
You guys wanna come be one of my 14 followers on that thing?
I don't know.
I haven't really posted much on there
because I just don't, I don't know.
I post stuff and it's like screaming into an abyss.
All I see on there are blue fucking check marks.
Like, it's just a million of them.
Everybody on there is just verified.
I'm not verified for anything.
I've been verified how to serve safe food.
I've been verified to give CPR, right?
I've been verified by, I don't know,
I think I might leave it at that
as far as what I'm verified for.
Anyways, point being, I'm on threads.
John D. Podcom on threads and Instagram.
John D. Podcast on Facebook.
Coming up after the break, we're gonna talk about NHL.
I know it's been passed by a little while.
For a little while, the season's been over,
but I gotta address some of my critics on that
and we're gonna talk about people throwing stuff
at people on stages.
All right, stick around for John D. Podcast
right after this.
And welcome back to part two of episode 54
of John D. Podcast.
I'm your host, John D. Miller.
How was your break, everybody?
How was it?
You may have noticed that you didn't hear
the BlendJet commercial on this,
during that commercial break.
However, you can still do my promo code
and still support the show at the same time.
John D. Pod one two, if you go to BlendJet,
blendjet.com, John D. Pod one two four.
I think right now my code will actually give you
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I believe that's what it is.
You definitely will get free shipping
if you go use my code, John D. Pod one two,
for 12% off and free shipping.
And you support the show.
I actually made money off of it.
So you can still get it,
even if you didn't hear the commercial.
So, and if you didn't hear any commercials at all,
depending on where you're listening,
just, did you enjoy the silence?
Did you enjoy the silence?
Did you get some thinking done in the,
however long that was?
Probably not very long.
I don't know how that works,
because some of these platforms
that I know that this stuff goes out to,
it's nothing, it's nothing there.
I'm like, I'm taking a break.
And then it just comes back.
And people are like,
I've actually had people write me, say something to me.
Like, hey, yeah, I was listening to it on such and such.
And I'm in such and such place.
And nothing.
So I don't know.
I don't know why that happens.
I don't make the rules.
So I know the NHL has been over for a while now
since the Vegas Golden Knights won the Stanley Cup.
I know, I picked the Florida Panthers to win.
And I got a little grief for it.
I thought you knew hockey, John.
I do know hockey, you sons of,
hey, you know what?
You never know what's gonna happen.
Nobody, a lot of people did not pick
what happened in the playoffs.
And congratulations to Vegas.
No, I did not think that Vegas was gonna be that physical.
And that they were just, they were heavy duty.
And Aiden Hill, the goalie, stood on his fricking head
the entire playoff run, who plays for Vegas,
had the playoff of his life.
I know not everybody on here is a hockey fan,
but I'm gonna talk about this.
So congratulations to the Vegas Golden Knights.
I did not see that happening.
I didn't even have them getting past the second round.
So was it the second round?
Yeah, I think it was.
But you know what?
Like I said, nobody knew what was gonna happen.
It was a good playoff.
And congratulations to the Vegas Golden Knights.
Although I did hear rumors,
and I hate hearing about this in any sport,
that some of the fans were a little,
some of the fans in Vegas were a little bit
raucous in a negative way.
I'll put it that way.
But whether that's true or not, they still won.
GM, GM, George McPhee, he used to be the general manager
for my Washington Capitals.
It has been the GM since he left the caps.
He's been the only GM for the Golden Knights.
And he built himself a pretty good squad, I gotta admit.
He definitely knows more about hockey than I do.
I'll definitely say that.
But you know, apparently it doesn't take much
according to some of you.
So, and of course we moved into free agency,
which you know, hey, some big signings,
some not so big signings.
I bought the caps real quick.
I'm kind of mad that they did not try to bring back,
or at least were not successful in bringing back
some of the guys that traded the deadlines for,
Lars Eller went to the Penguins for Christ's sake,
after he got traded to Colorado,
then he became a free agent.
Yeah, went to the Penguins, awesome.
Awesome.
Orloff went to Carolina, come on, ugh.
Yeah, that's hockey for you.
That's hockey for you.
Anyways, I just wanna address the critics on that.
And it had been a while,
and the last time I made an episode, I know,
it was a while back, I had picked Florida.
I really thought they were gonna win.
I don't know, it really was a toss up, I think.
All right, so let's talk about this, all right.
I really just don't understand the mentality
of what's been going on lately
with people throwing things at artists on stage
when they're trying to perform.
We all, many people might have seen
the Baby Rexha incident, Bebe, Bay Bay, I don't know.
I know Bay Bay's kids, that's what I know.
Robin Harris, great comic, passed away way too soon.
I know that, a baby, but this is Bay Bay,
Bay Bay Rexha, Bebe Rexha.
But she was doing a gig in New York, I believe.
She comes out on stage, and she just gets hit
in the face by a phone.
Like, why would you throw your cell phone
at a person walking onto a stage and go sing a song?
I mean, are you that mad at AT&T like I am
with your outrageously pricey cell phone playing?
And it hits Baby, whatever, hits her in the face.
She like drops to her knees.
Was thrown by some moron in the crowd.
And apparently they found the guy.
Apparently they went looking for the dude,
and he was like, here I am.
Really?
He was like, yeah, I thought it'd be funny.
I thought it'd be funny.
And supposedly he told some people that
in an interview or something like that,
that he thought that she would pick it up,
take like a picture or something, and then give it back.
He's never gonna have phone back.
He shouldn't, in my opinion.
That guy should not get a phone ever.
He should get one of those little toy phones
that looks like a face.
Remember he had that when you were a kid?
He should get one of those.
That should be the phone he has to use for the next year.
It'll work, it'll work just fine.
I want it to work just like a normal phone.
He can call people, he can text.
I don't know, he can make it work.
But it has to look like that little rolling phone.
And it has the face on it, you know what I'm saying?
The little kid's toy.
He's gotta have one of those for the next year
for what he did.
This is dumb.
That's completely stupid.
I don't understand.
And then Mr. Harry Styles,
who I can't say his name with a straight face.
I'm sorry, I can't.
Even hearing his name, they're like, Harry Styles.
And I go, I don't know.
I don't know why.
I don't, I don't.
I don't pretend to be the most mature person
in the entire world.
But for some reason, it always, anyways,
Harry Styles, he has been hit in the eye
now once, but twice, if I'm not mistaken.
But I know at least one time.
He's been hit by stuff before.
One of the times being was a skittle.
Somebody threw skittles on the,
I don't know, is virtual reality
really fucking people up that bad
that they think it's acceptable?
Do they not think it's real?
I don't get it.
You know, who was her name?
Lato?
I saw a video of her.
Okay, whatever.
I'm not pretending that she's my kind of music.
But you know, she's up there.
She was, I don't know, she was shaking her butt talks.
She was shaking her butt talks.
And yeah, but she was doing it.
And she goes walking across the stage
and you just see, I don't know what the,
I don't think I ever saw what it was,
but somebody just threw shit up there.
She's like, she was walking right towards it.
If she had walked a little bit faster, what a hitter.
Do you guys remember the, what was it?
Green Day, right?
It was at Lollapalooza.
And somebody, what's that, Billy Joe Armstrong?
The dude, the lead singer.
Somebody threw, they're in a field.
It's a muddy field.
It's been raining.
They're in a goddamn field festival.
And yeah, but somebody threw,
somebody threw this giant gob of mud
and hit Billy Joe right in the guitar.
I mean, but it literally hit his hand.
Like he couldn't play.
It was just covered in mud.
And he, it may not have been that show,
but I remember seeing the footage.
He just literally just dropped the guitar
and he just, he jumped into the audience.
Or he tried to.
Yeah.
This is the thing.
This is not interactive shit.
You're supposed to hang out and watch the people.
I don't think there's any time
that you should ever throw stuff at people on stage,
unless, unless, unless,
unless you're throwing a little moola up there
because they're giving you a good show.
Now, that being said, right?
This is be realistic, okay?
That being said, you should never,
you shouldn't throw stuff at these people.
They don't want that.
That's not what they want.
I don't think Harry Styles is like,
I really hope that they throw Skittles at me tonight.
And right during that one part of the song
where I spin around, you know that song?
When I'm wearing my fur covered suit.
Have you seen the outfits by the way he's been wearing?
Just, I'm just saying.
Who thinks it's a good idea to throw shit on, on stage?
I don't, I don't think, I don't know how anybody would.
It doesn't seem to make sense.
That's not what they want.
Stop it.
I don't think I ever had anybody throw something
at me on stage.
Like, no, I take that back.
I did.
I had somebody, I had a woman throw a napkin one time,
like a linen napkin, which I don't,
like they have those in this,
what kind of comic club is this?
Yeah.
That's the problem with people.
They, we just don't care anymore.
Yeah, I'm just gonna fucking throw this shit.
Why?
Because I suck.
That's why I suck.
I suck at life.
That's why I'm gonna throw some shit at people.
It's so stupid.
It's so freaking dumb.
Stop it, please.
Okay, just stop it.
You're not helping the situation.
You're not making anything better.
You're not adding to the show.
It's not funny.
Knock it off, okay?
Just knock it off.
The Harry Styles, the footage I saw,
you can go on anywhere online.
Harry Styles, hit in the face by Skittle.
And you just look it up.
And it's on there.
And you'll see.
And he kinda does some moving,
and he kinda spins around.
He's like, oh, you can see.
He's like, oh, and he's trying to like,
wow, that stung.
And he cuts on going.
If I got hit in the eye by a Skittle,
I don't care what kinda sort of performance I was doing.
I don't care if I was playing a giant stadium.
You hit me with a Skittle, I'm outta there.
I'm outta there.
I mean, I might pick it up and eat it,
depending on what flavor it is,
but no, no, you don't do that.
Because you never know what people did to it.
Maybe that's what it was.
They're like, eat my Skittle, you'll trip balls, right?
Trippy Skittle balls.
Nobody wants you to do that.
But he was a trooper.
I would not have done it.
I definitely would definitely definitely
would not have done it.
Somebody asked me, it's weird.
I talk about so many different things on this podcast.
And some people go, well, I like when you talk about hockey.
I like when you talk about politics.
And other people go, I like when you talk
about more nerdy stuff, like Star Wars things.
And some people go, I like when you don't talk, John.
And I go, well, then why are you listening to the podcast?
And they said, for when you don't.
When you don't speak.
So, I think I really do.
I really do think that some people listen to this podcast
because they like to hear the silence in between my voice.
Right?
You're always welcome to say, hey, John D,
why don't you talk about such and such again?
All right, let's talk about our charities real quick.
And then I'm gonna have my final thought.
Yeah, see, I'm doing that now.
So you have to stick around.
You don't start out looking for something else to listen to.
He's just doing the charity.
I can go, no, I have something to share with you after this.
But first, I wanna say, let's talk about our charities.
All right?
No Kid Hungry.
Many school-aged children are in situations
where the best meal of the day comes from school.
No Kid Hungry helps children with meals
when children in need are away from school,
such as weekends, holidays, or, as in right now,
summer vacation.
Wounded Warrior Project, the brave men and women
who have served our country deserve the best care
we can give them after they return home.
Some of them have wounds that are external and or internal
that they may need help with,
or even just accessible housing.
BestFriends.org is making a difference
by helping homeless dogs and cats in shelters
be adopted faster and in more numbers.
Their goal is to have the entire country
no-kill shelters by the year 2025.
So that's No Kid Hungry, Wounded Warrior Project,
BestFriends.org.
As always, I continue to say, anything for Ukraine.
Anything for Ukraine, okay?
Anything for Ukraine.
I'm just saying.
Until that conflict ends, that is a constant, okay?
And as all the other ones, okay?
They're all good charities.
And after the charity, if you got a little time
for a little cheer on me, you can support the show
John D. Podcom on Venmo, okay?
So again, I'm sorry it took so long to get back to you.
You know, I go in spurts, but I do this when I can
because I like to do it.
I like to sit here and talk on the microphone.
I enjoy doing it.
I like to hear myself talk, I guess.
And I appreciate everybody out there
who likes to hear me talk as well.
There's quite a few of you now.
When I get going, I feel like I don't do one
and then you kinda fade off and then maybe you come back.
Oh, he's doing them again?
Yeah, not yet, no, all right, taking a break.
Okay, we'll be over here when you need us, right?
But I did actually go up to the Richmond Funny Boat.
The Richmond Funny Boat, which is here in town,
called up my buddy Kenny Wingel,
who I hadn't seen in a very long time.
I texted him and I said, hey man, how's it been going?
And he said, yeah, no, come up to the Clash of the Comics.
And you can hang out, maybe do a little judging,
which I felt really strange about doing
because a lot of the people that were on the show,
it's a competition, were people that I've met recently
and I'm trying to be cool, hey, what's up?
But they all did a really good job.
Every single one of them, actually.
It was really kind of funny
because I was reminded at one point,
I went up there, I was standing there
and I was talking to some of these guys
and I was standing outside and then Kenny came out to do,
they always do open mics or whatever,
they have a little comics meeting, discuss the order,
make sure everybody's there, call everybody's names
and then when he started doing that,
I stepped out of the way so he could do his thing.
And I remember sitting over there, standing on the side,
I was standing on the side,
I didn't wanna walk through his situation
to go back inside off the patio there
and I just was looking at these faces
of these mostly young comics.
And it brought back so many memories.
It brought back so much of the times where I'm sitting there
going, man, I so completely remember being there.
It wasn't fear, it wasn't nervousness necessarily,
definitely in some and I know I've been there,
I probably look like that.
If you put me on a big show,
I'm sure I would look like that.
I'm a comic.
Comics get like that no matter what.
You can be doing comedy for a long time.
You go through something in your head
before you're gonna go out there
just like you do anything else.
Just sports people, whatever.
If you're going to do your big thing,
gotta get fired up for it.
But I just remember looking at these faces of these comics
and I remember being there and it was one of those things,
it made me think, there are times that I feel
and I know other people out there do
because I correspond with you in different ways.
You feel sometimes, you do feel sometimes
like okay, I got this all straight.
I got it all down.
I'm doing what I should be doing.
But what I saw on their faces
was one of the things that I think I missed about comedy
because these young comics have really just
reawakened something in me.
And it is with being around their youth
and how much they just, for lack of a better term,
they just don't know.
But I like it, it's great.
They haven't been made bitter and jaded.
They're just hopeful.
And they're ready to be.
We're so ready to just be, that's it, I'm set.
There's no challenges.
And I was thinking, I'm like, man,
I have not challenged myself enough,
is what I was thinking.
And I saw it in their faces at a young age.
And I think that's one thing that we lose sometimes
as we get older.
We've lost that ability or that want to be challenged.
And I'm sure, I'm sure that's why people go skydiving.
I'm sure that's why people go bungee jumping.
I've done the bungee.
That's a little scary.
I've done the little slingshot thing.
You know the ones you always see the videos,
they always have them on Facebook and stuff
and it's some chick in a tank top
and she flies up in her boobs.
Almost come out of her shirt.
But not quite, not quite because it is Facebook.
I don't think we do that enough anymore
because these people, these kids mostly,
I'm 49, I'll say it, they're kids.
I mean, I took some time off from it,
but I was doing comedy before almost all of them
were even born.
There's a couple of people that were not.
But the point is, is that seeing it in them,
these young people, they're facing fear
because they have a dream and they have a goal.
Like I say, if you're gonna go skydiving,
that's great, that's awesome.
You like the thrill.
But what are you trying to do by skydiving?
Yeah, it's scary.
I give kudos and credit to anybody who's ever done it.
I might do it one day.
I don't know.
I better hurry up, I guess.
But I might.
I mean, I'm doing it as a goal of saying, yeah, I did it.
But that's where it stops.
These young folks that I saw at the Clash of the Comics
are trying to get somewhere with it.
They wanna be comics for forever.
And honestly, that is one of the biggest things
I think I ever loved about it was because I'm facing fear,
I'm facing nervousness, I'm facing a challenge,
but I have a big goal in it.
And I think people lose it.
I think people have lost that.
I don't want anything to be different.
I want everything to be just the same all the time.
Don't get me wrong, I'm a creature of habit.
So I'm just saying, they so reminded me of it.
And you know, all great comics,
some really, really great comics, timing, cadence.
It's also, it's fun to watch that too.
It's just fun to watch with these people,
these younger folks and them getting into it.
And some of the, one of them asked me,
one of them asked me, he was like, hey,
so like, you just do like all the same jokes
over and over again?
I'm like, what are you talking about?
I said, no, you write new jokes.
He goes, yeah, but when you go on the road,
do you always do the same act?
And I said, well, that's part of, yeah.
I mean, that's kind of what you do.
I mean, the jokes seem like they're right off the cuff
and they might be.
But no, a lot of times you take this ball of,
of, you know, comedy clay and you get it
into a nice round ball and you take it
and you shine it up and you whatever,
and you make it a nice, pretty object of comedy.
And you take that and you sling it to, you know,
you sling it at a bowling alley
on a Tuesday night outside of Pittsburgh.
Yeah, and that's what you do.
It's not always like that, obviously.
You have the dream to eventually be like to do
the new Tom Segura special where you're filming
in a big, you know, in the round place.
I don't think I could ever do that.
But I suppose, I hear that's good.
I hear it's good by the way, the Tom Segura special.
I don't think I could ever do comedy in the round though.
I know the people behind me and then you're turning
and then it's like, yeah, I don't know.
What the fuck?
Carlin did it years ago.
I remember watching his special.
Yeah, he was in the round.
Yeah, it's like, I don't know.
Because then you say something
and then the people are laughing behind you.
You're not used to having people laugh behind you.
You're used to people laughing in front of you,
maybe to the sides, right?
It's gotta be a little odd.
I don't have Netflix right now
and I'm not gonna get them back
because they just did away with my $10 plan,
you sons of bitches.
No, we weren't watching it.
We weren't watching it.
All right, anyways.
Don't forget Twitter, John D Podcast, John D Comedy,
Write To Me, John D Podcast, Gmail, Facebook,
John D Podcast, Threads, John D Podcast,
and on Instagram, Executive Producers for John D Podcasts
are Tom Egg, that's his voicemail when you call him,
and Liz Miller.
Thanks to them each for helping make this happen
in their own ways.
This episode was recorded and produced by yours truly,
John D Miller in the Amber Tree Media Studio.
Don't forget, BlendJet, John D Pod 12
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No, that was not a commercial for it,
but you can still get it and help support the show.
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Like seriously, I do.
Buy one.
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Well, I mean, you can if you want,
but that doesn't mean, it should be, should be.
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So that's that.
Thanks to all of our sponsors.
Thank you for listening.
This has been episode 54, numero cinquenta y cuatro
in the old Espanola language, that's right,
of John D Podcast.
I've been your host, John D Miller, okay?
Take care of yourselves, take care of each other,
and until next time, which will be definitely
after next week, later for you.