1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:13,720 Thank you, Matthew and worship team. I love the worship this morning. My name is Matt 2 00:00:13,720 --> 00:00:21,960 Lair. Many have called me Mike this morning, so I need to wear a name tag. Pastor Daniel 3 00:00:21,960 --> 00:00:28,280 and Sina are away with a death in the family or grandfather had passed. And on a moment's 4 00:00:28,280 --> 00:00:33,960 notice, he asked me to come and fill the pulpit. I'm always humbled. And this morning, 5 00:00:33,960 --> 00:00:37,640 what I want to do is dive deep into God's Word. I want to bring it to you this morning, 6 00:00:37,640 --> 00:00:42,760 a message that he gave to me many, many years ago. So I think it's fitting that we just 7 00:00:42,760 --> 00:00:48,200 say a quick prayer. Father, this morning, would you these words be yours, not mine? 8 00:00:48,200 --> 00:00:54,120 And Father, would you inspire us and challenge us and change us? We give you all the credit 9 00:00:54,120 --> 00:01:03,520 and all the glory. In your name I pray. Amen. Build for your team a feeling of oneness, of 10 00:01:03,520 --> 00:01:13,080 dependence on one another, and of strength to be derived by unity. That's a famous speech 11 00:01:13,080 --> 00:01:23,240 by Vince Lombardi. Does anybody know who Vince Lombardi coached? Yell it out loud. The Packers. 12 00:01:23,240 --> 00:01:30,760 Vince Lombardi, NFL man of the decade, five NFL titles, two Super Bowl crowns, and in nine years, 13 00:01:30,760 --> 00:01:37,720 and in countless other records. And I thought this morning, I'd like to talk to you about unity. 14 00:01:37,720 --> 00:01:44,360 What does that mean? You see, he's not the first to coin the power of unity, and he's not the first 15 00:01:44,360 --> 00:01:53,040 to write a speech on unity. Jesus has a lot to say about it. The word unity in its definition 16 00:01:53,040 --> 00:02:03,560 is the state of being one, a whole, a totality of combining all of our parts into one. Here's 17 00:02:03,560 --> 00:02:12,640 an interesting definition, Webster, the absence of diversity, the absence of division, one mind, 18 00:02:12,640 --> 00:02:23,160 many people, incongruity, harmony, and agreement. An argument that I want to make this morning for 19 00:02:23,160 --> 00:02:28,760 all of us is we can all reach our spiritual potential. The anointing and the calling that God 20 00:02:28,760 --> 00:02:35,440 may have on every single one of you, that we can reach our spiritual potential if we can follow 21 00:02:35,440 --> 00:02:43,840 these three simple steps. And step number one is become one with your church. I want to read this 22 00:02:43,840 --> 00:02:48,680 passage. If you've got your Bibles, open them to John chapter 17, one of my favorite chapters in 23 00:02:48,680 --> 00:02:54,680 the Bible. And as you open it up, if you kind of look, it's about the last third, maybe fifth of 24 00:02:54,680 --> 00:03:00,040 the Bible, it's in the New Testament, John chapter 17. We're going to start at verse nine. So as 25 00:03:00,040 --> 00:03:05,640 you're turning there, let me give you a little bit of a backdrop. Jesus is about to die on the 26 00:03:05,640 --> 00:03:12,360 cross in the subsequent verses. He knows it. He knows he's about to die. He knows that he's coming 27 00:03:12,360 --> 00:03:17,920 to an end. So he prays this special prayer up to God the Father and he orders something from God 28 00:03:17,920 --> 00:03:24,240 for his disciples. This is fascinating to me. It's almost like right out of the movies. And he 29 00:03:24,240 --> 00:03:29,680 prays to God the Father and he says, I'm ordering, I'm asking something from you to bestow upon the 30 00:03:29,680 --> 00:03:35,280 disciples. And he literally says, I'm not praying for the world. I'm praying for them. Let's pick it 31 00:03:35,280 --> 00:03:41,280 up at verse nine. Jesus says, I'm praying for them, the disciples. I'm not praying for the world, 32 00:03:41,280 --> 00:03:47,880 but those you've given me, they're yours, the disciples, the 12. He says, all I have is yours 33 00:03:47,880 --> 00:03:53,400 and all you have is mine. Remember, he's talking to God the Father. And he says, glory has come to 34 00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:57,480 them through, has come to me through them. I will remain in the world no longer right there. He 35 00:03:57,480 --> 00:04:04,200 knows I'm about to leave. Let's pause here for a second. If I'm walking with Jesus and I know he's 36 00:04:04,200 --> 00:04:10,160 about to depart and this is what I would call one of his final prayers, one of his final prayers, 37 00:04:10,160 --> 00:04:16,680 I'm leaning in on this one. I'm going to lean in on this one because it's a big one. It's a doozy. 38 00:04:16,680 --> 00:04:25,680 And Jesus continues. They are still in the world and I'm coming to you Holy Father, protect them 39 00:04:25,680 --> 00:04:31,120 by the power of your name, the name you gave me. Here it is. So that they may become one as you and 40 00:04:31,120 --> 00:04:38,280 I are. That's it. That's the order that he put in. That's sort of like the miracle that he wants to 41 00:04:38,280 --> 00:04:43,440 bestow upon the 12. And when I first read this nearly 20 years ago, I paused and I'm like, 42 00:04:43,440 --> 00:04:49,920 that sounds a little vanilla to me. If I were Jesus and I had all the power in the universe and I 43 00:04:49,920 --> 00:04:55,160 ordered up some special superpower for the 12, I would have ordered up something a little bit 44 00:04:55,160 --> 00:05:05,640 more dramatic. But Jesus says, God, make him one. Make him one like you and me, God. He continues. 45 00:05:05,640 --> 00:05:12,640 My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message. 46 00:05:12,640 --> 00:05:18,800 Jesus is praying for you and me, all believers in the future through the disciples. He's also 47 00:05:18,800 --> 00:05:28,000 praying for us and he orders up a special super, super powerful element for us as well. Here's 48 00:05:28,000 --> 00:05:34,640 what he says. That all of them may become one. There it is again. He orders up oneness for the 49 00:05:34,640 --> 00:05:39,080 disciples and he says, God, for all those who are going to believe in me oneness for them as well. 50 00:05:39,080 --> 00:05:46,440 So he does it twice. Father, just as you are in me and I'm in you, may they also be in us that 51 00:05:46,440 --> 00:05:53,040 the, here it is, that the world may believe you sent me. That's the output of the formula. That is 52 00:05:53,040 --> 00:05:59,320 the reason he ordered up oneness is because oneness is powerful that the whole world will know him. 53 00:05:59,320 --> 00:06:04,760 The whole world will know him through unity amongst the 12, amongst us, amongst the church, 54 00:06:04,760 --> 00:06:13,600 amongst the family. Unity equals power. Unity equals, it equals influence. Unity is appealing, 55 00:06:13,600 --> 00:06:20,040 it's attractive. It's like the best marketing plan ever. Jesus knows this and he says, oh, 56 00:06:20,040 --> 00:06:25,080 God, make them one, make him help and get along, help them work together, take all their preferences 57 00:06:25,080 --> 00:06:29,160 and all their wants and all their wishes and all their personalities and all their issues and help 58 00:06:29,160 --> 00:06:38,760 them become one. Verse 22, I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may become one 59 00:06:38,760 --> 00:06:44,200 as we are one. There are three times he says it, anytime Jesus says something three times. I'm gonna 60 00:06:44,200 --> 00:06:51,360 write that down. I and them and you and me may, may, may they be brought to complete unity to let 61 00:06:51,360 --> 00:06:58,360 the world know that you sent me and that you've loved them even as you've loved me. Three times he 62 00:06:58,360 --> 00:07:04,680 said it and two times he answers the reason why. And it hit me as I was reading this years and years 63 00:07:04,680 --> 00:07:10,400 ago, if that was his final prayer, if that was his mission, if that was his order, if that was his 64 00:07:10,400 --> 00:07:16,560 focus, then what is Satan's number one mission in our lives? Yell at it really loud. Satan's mission 65 00:07:16,560 --> 00:07:24,120 is to young ones, pay attention because this formula can shape the whole rest of your life. 66 00:07:24,120 --> 00:07:39,120 Side note, during worship, I'm watching these young men raise their hands. Wow, that's a good 67 00:07:39,120 --> 00:07:46,360 start. Well done church, well done mom and dad. You got youth in the front row raising their hands 68 00:07:46,360 --> 00:07:58,000 during worship. Praise God. Step one, become one with your church. How? How do I become one? 69 00:07:58,000 --> 00:08:06,200 Absence of division, absence of frustrations. Number one, if you're taking notes this morning, 70 00:08:06,200 --> 00:08:11,800 this is what I always preach when I travel, is find out what my pastor's vision is, what's my 71 00:08:11,800 --> 00:08:16,640 pastor's vision, what keeps my pastor awake at night and whatever keeps him awake at night, 72 00:08:16,640 --> 00:08:22,600 that's my vision. Whatever his vision is, that's my vision. I'm gonna become one with him. What 73 00:08:22,600 --> 00:08:29,120 keeps him awake? I want to know. I want to pray about it. I want to line up with it. I want to 74 00:08:29,120 --> 00:08:36,840 be a good soldier, imperfect, yes, selfish at times, me, yes. I got my own preferences on how 75 00:08:36,840 --> 00:08:43,440 the whole church should run, yes. But I want to line up with my pastor. I want him to know that 76 00:08:43,440 --> 00:08:47,720 when he's not looking, I'm his soldier working hard to help carry out the orders that God put 77 00:08:47,720 --> 00:08:54,880 on his heart. I want to be a good soldier. I want to become one with my church through a tithe and 78 00:08:54,880 --> 00:08:59,680 giving. I want to become one with my church at volunteering and serving. Like I want to get in 79 00:08:59,680 --> 00:09:03,520 there, is it messy? Yes, is it frustrating? Yes, you want to pull your hair out at times? Yes, 80 00:09:03,520 --> 00:09:15,400 become one, serve, give. Get into small groups, become one, integrate my life with their life, 81 00:09:15,400 --> 00:09:21,080 integrate my mindset, my thinking, integrate my values, integrate, integrate your family, 82 00:09:21,080 --> 00:09:25,920 integrate, integrate, become one, become one, because Satan wants to divide the church. He wants 83 00:09:25,920 --> 00:09:31,680 to divide us. He wants to divide our families, our marriages, our futures. He wants to divide 84 00:09:31,680 --> 00:09:36,960 us from fellow believers. He wants to divide, divide, divide. You want to know why? He can't 85 00:09:36,960 --> 00:09:42,640 take salvation from you, but here's what Satan says. I can't take you away from Jesus, but I can 86 00:09:42,640 --> 00:09:47,880 cause your life to be so messed up. You're so busy tending to your frustrations in a broken marriage 87 00:09:47,880 --> 00:09:52,360 and broken friendships and broken relationships that your handcuff, you're paralyzed, you're not a 88 00:09:52,360 --> 00:09:56,680 warrior for Jesus. You're paralyzed with all your pain and all your hurt and all your suffering. 89 00:09:56,680 --> 00:10:05,920 And he knows that he can neutralize and paralyze a warrior with division. How many of you know 90 00:10:05,920 --> 00:10:12,920 this morning that your life, your life is like a symphony, your life is like a music that whether 91 00:10:12,920 --> 00:10:18,320 you know it or not, that your life displays music and you can't hide it and people can hear it and 92 00:10:18,320 --> 00:10:23,360 it's either beautiful or it's not. And when the Holy, when you're in sync with the Holy Spirit, 93 00:10:23,360 --> 00:10:28,880 your life plays a beautiful music that's appealing, attractive, magnetic and people want it. How do 94 00:10:28,880 --> 00:10:34,240 I get it? Where do I get that? And to make an illustration, I've asked the band to come forward. 95 00:10:34,240 --> 00:10:43,160 Come on up. And I've asked them to play 60 seconds of a tune and every instrument, multiple gifts, 96 00:10:43,160 --> 00:10:48,800 different people, different preferences, different personalities, but God has unified them to play 97 00:10:48,800 --> 00:10:57,560 a beautiful sound that's appealing, attractive, magnetic and when we hear it, we want it. This is 98 00:10:57,560 --> 00:11:19,520 when we're in step with the spirit. 60 seconds. Go ahead, Matthew. Lead them. 99 00:11:27,560 --> 00:11:49,520 Silence, the roaring lion, declare the grave, has your claim on me. Jesus, yours is the victory. 100 00:11:49,520 --> 00:12:04,240 Hallelujah, praise the Lord who set me free. Let's pause. Let's pause. Different people, different 101 00:12:04,240 --> 00:12:09,400 gifting, different preferences, different personalities, different wants and wishes, 102 00:12:09,400 --> 00:12:15,880 different dreams, but unified. Doesn't this sound beautiful, huh? Does it sound good? Yeah, give 103 00:12:15,880 --> 00:12:24,400 them a little love. It's okay. But what's Satan's mission? It's divide. So I've asked them to 104 00:12:24,400 --> 00:12:31,320 rotate instruments by one and play the same song. Go ahead and rotate. Same people, same 105 00:12:31,320 --> 00:12:38,200 gifting, same talent, but divided. And I've asked them to make sure that they're on an 106 00:12:38,200 --> 00:12:45,240 instrument they don't know how to play. And so let's see what this sounds like. Are you ready 107 00:12:45,240 --> 00:12:50,880 for this? All right. Matthew, lead them. 108 00:12:50,880 --> 00:12:58,160 One, two, ready, go. 109 00:12:58,160 --> 00:13:13,880 Good morning, I see your promise. You're very bright. He gets to breathe out of the 110 00:13:13,880 --> 00:13:22,160 sky. All right, all right, all right, all right. Let's give him some love, everybody. Good job, 111 00:13:22,160 --> 00:13:32,160 good job. Memorable, funny maybe, but it's true. When there is division in the church and in my 112 00:13:32,160 --> 00:13:36,760 marriage and in my friendships and in my life, the music, I can't hide it. It sounds like that 113 00:13:36,760 --> 00:13:42,200 second version. And when people hear it, they don't want any part of it. They don't want to be near 114 00:13:42,200 --> 00:13:46,720 me. They don't, there's nothing that's magnetic or appealing. And Jesus knows this and he says, 115 00:13:46,720 --> 00:13:51,240 hey, there's going to be a lot of personality clashes and preferences clashes. And he said, 116 00:13:51,240 --> 00:13:55,200 God, make them one, help them get along, help them, help them all point in the same direction. 117 00:13:55,200 --> 00:14:03,680 For the last 20 years, I've been in full-time ministry in churches all over the country. I've 118 00:14:03,680 --> 00:14:14,960 seen enough. Tart breaking. Satan's mission is to divide you from your pastor, your godly friends, 119 00:14:14,960 --> 00:14:23,080 hang on to your godly friends like they're a lifeline. It's what I heard about the Salt Company 120 00:14:23,080 --> 00:14:29,080 at Iowa, the University of Iowa. What a miracle that is. What a great resource that is for young 121 00:14:29,080 --> 00:14:33,660 kids coming up to become one with fellow believers while you're in college. And our college is 122 00:14:33,660 --> 00:14:44,640 today, right? Amen? Become one with your church. When there's clashing preferences, find the high 123 00:14:44,640 --> 00:14:50,320 road and take it. It's okay to share your clashing preference once, but don't turn your 124 00:14:50,320 --> 00:14:55,520 preferences into moral rights and wrongs in marriage and friendships and sure, like let's not 125 00:14:55,520 --> 00:15:02,600 turn our preferences, our preferences into moral rights and wrongs. I'll argue being in, I live in 126 00:15:02,600 --> 00:15:07,280 the world of conflict. I live in the arena of conflict in marriages and churches and families. 127 00:15:07,280 --> 00:15:13,920 And often 99% of our arguments, it's not over moral things. It's just clashing preferences. And the 128 00:15:13,920 --> 00:15:20,280 truth is a lot of it's just my selfishness. I'm a selfish person. And often we take our differences 129 00:15:20,280 --> 00:15:28,400 of opinions and we make them moral rights and wrongs. That's not even true or fair. So here's a 130 00:15:28,400 --> 00:15:35,880 phrase my dad taught me. Find the high road and take it. In conflict with Pam, my wife, find the 131 00:15:35,880 --> 00:15:42,140 high road, Matt, and take it. Find the high road, the humble road. Unity is important because who 132 00:15:42,140 --> 00:15:47,160 cares who's right and wrong. When my life is playing that second rendition, it really doesn't 133 00:15:47,160 --> 00:15:53,520 matter who's right or wrong. It's pretty ugly. And Jesus knows this. It's like, Matt, you're not 134 00:15:53,520 --> 00:15:57,600 going to be a good witness. You're not going to draw people into me. Your friends are not going to 135 00:15:57,600 --> 00:16:08,560 find out who I am because your life is a disaster. Become one with the church. Give your pastor mercy. 136 00:16:08,560 --> 00:16:14,520 If there was one thing I could say to congregations all over the world is give your pastor extra 137 00:16:14,520 --> 00:16:21,080 mercy. Give him extra grace because it's a hard job. It's a hard job. Give him extra. You know what 138 00:16:21,080 --> 00:16:25,200 I always say, I'm going to give you the same mercy pastor that I would need if I were the 139 00:16:25,200 --> 00:16:29,440 senior pastor. Hey, my senior pastor, where I go to church, I'm going to give you 10 times more 140 00:16:29,440 --> 00:16:35,320 mercy as if I were you. I'm going to give you the amount of mercy that I would want or need. 141 00:16:35,320 --> 00:16:47,120 Because who am I? Unity. I want people to come into this church and hear this great worship 142 00:16:47,120 --> 00:16:52,480 team. I want them to be around us in every church that's a Bible teaching, God honoring church, 143 00:16:52,480 --> 00:16:57,760 and I want them to be drawn and I want to keep them. How? Unity. Unity. Unity. Unity. 144 00:16:57,760 --> 00:17:04,520 Matthew chapter 12 verse 25, Jesus knew their thoughts and he said, every kingdom divided 145 00:17:04,520 --> 00:17:09,040 against itself will be ruined and every city or household divided against itself will not stand. 146 00:17:09,040 --> 00:17:21,080 Division is destruction. So number one, become one with your church. Number two, become one with a 147 00:17:21,080 --> 00:17:27,200 godly friend. Okay, one with my church and now one with a godly friend, a godly friend, a biblical 148 00:17:27,200 --> 00:17:33,000 friend, not just somebody who knows about Jesus, but I need a wingman. Every man in this room needs 149 00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:38,680 a wingman. Every young man, the rest of your whole life, you need a wingman, at least one. And if 150 00:17:38,680 --> 00:17:44,360 that guy moves away, get a different one. And every woman, you could do with a wingwoman. I just 151 00:17:44,360 --> 00:17:52,600 made that up. It's a new word, wingwoman. Wingman doesn't sound right. Do you have somebody that 152 00:17:52,600 --> 00:17:57,080 you can share everything with, bear your soul, the good, the bad, the ugly, pray together, cry 153 00:17:57,080 --> 00:18:01,960 together, spur each other on, hold each other accountable, say the hard things that need to 154 00:18:01,960 --> 00:18:07,640 be said? Do you have someone that loves you enough to say the hard truth? Because Satan wants you. 155 00:18:07,640 --> 00:18:15,160 Satan wants you to be entrapped into sin and entrapped into things that keep you from being a 156 00:18:15,160 --> 00:18:19,880 warrior. And sometimes I need a wingman to help. Grab me by the back of the neck and yank me out 157 00:18:19,880 --> 00:18:30,680 of where my head is and my heart and my attitude and my habit. Ecclesiastes 4, 9 through 12 says, 158 00:18:30,680 --> 00:18:36,440 two are better than one. If one falls down, his friend can help him up. A pity the man or woman, 159 00:18:36,440 --> 00:18:44,360 who falls and they have no one. Who are your friends? Have you ever done an assessment of your 160 00:18:44,360 --> 00:18:48,680 friends? Have you ever done a biblical assessment of your friends? Like here's my number one thing. 161 00:18:48,680 --> 00:18:55,160 Do they love Jesus? Like do they love me enough to confront me? I've got two or three or four. Listen, 162 00:18:55,160 --> 00:19:02,840 I was born with a wingman in the womb. I remember Mike and I were fighting in the womb one time. 163 00:19:02,840 --> 00:19:09,880 And we were about to come out into the world and my cord was wrapped around his neck and he couldn't 164 00:19:09,880 --> 00:19:14,360 get out and I was kicking him in the head and he started crying like a little baby. 165 00:19:16,600 --> 00:19:21,560 So then he comes out that way and then I come out to Syria and I beat him to the world 166 00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:30,280 and we're best friends ever since. In every sense of the word, he's my wingman. I've got others. 167 00:19:30,280 --> 00:19:36,200 You know, there's two problems. When you look at your wingman or you look at your wingwoman, 168 00:19:36,200 --> 00:19:42,760 number one, is their moral compass God's word? Is their moral compass God's word? If it is, 169 00:19:42,760 --> 00:19:48,680 hallelujah. But if it's not, you're in trouble because 99% of the time I lower my moral compass 170 00:19:48,680 --> 00:19:54,920 to match my friends. I rarely pull my friends up to mine. I rarely can take an immoral friend 171 00:19:54,920 --> 00:20:01,240 who I have, who I put in my inner circle, my first tier friend, and I rarely, it's rarely possible 172 00:20:01,240 --> 00:20:08,360 to bring that friend up to my level. I lower mine. So that's problem number one. Problem number two, 173 00:20:08,360 --> 00:20:12,120 and this is more of a guy problem, is we don't have anybody. We're a low ranger. 174 00:20:13,640 --> 00:20:18,280 So Satan comes knocking on our door, we get entrapped into things and there's no one. 175 00:20:18,280 --> 00:20:25,240 I've fallen. I've fallen to sin. I got no one. Become one with a godly friend. It's all over 176 00:20:25,240 --> 00:20:32,200 scripture. I could give you 10 examples. Who's your wingman? I wrote a whole book on it called 177 00:20:32,200 --> 00:20:36,760 Who's Got Your Back? How to Find One, How to Get Into Accountability, How to Make It a Lifestyle, 178 00:20:36,760 --> 00:20:46,520 How to Go Deep. I've been meeting with guys for 20 some years. We hide nothing. We share a battle 179 00:20:46,520 --> 00:20:54,200 with lust. We share our sin. We confess our sins. We grab each other by the back of the neck from 180 00:20:54,200 --> 00:21:00,120 time to time. One of them in our group has recovered from alcoholism. I mean, listen, it's a raw deal. 181 00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:08,680 It's all out there on the table. Why? Why? Because I know myself. I know that if I don't have this, 182 00:21:08,680 --> 00:21:14,920 I'm in trouble. I know my sin nature. I know me. Become one with the church. If I want to reach my 183 00:21:14,920 --> 00:21:21,000 spiritual potential, if I want my anointing to flow and fall upon me, become one with the church and 184 00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:32,040 become one with a godly friend. Find the high road and take it. I love that in my group because 185 00:21:32,040 --> 00:21:35,880 they bring conflict to the table every week. My group does. My three or four buddies say, 186 00:21:35,880 --> 00:21:40,520 well, my wife is in my wife. Hey, knock it off. It's the best thing you'll ever get anyway. 187 00:21:40,520 --> 00:21:45,240 Love her anyway. You go home. You be the best husband you could ever be. You love her no matter what. 188 00:21:45,240 --> 00:21:49,560 You give her affection. You stay plugged in. You keep communicating with her. You serve her. 189 00:21:49,560 --> 00:21:53,800 Your job number one is to serve her. And oh, by the way, find the high road and take it with her 190 00:21:53,800 --> 00:22:02,120 every single time. That's what accountability looks like. How about you? Are you a lone ranger this 191 00:22:02,120 --> 00:22:10,600 morning? You got nobody? Get into a life group. Talk to your leaders about how to get into a men's 192 00:22:10,600 --> 00:22:15,320 group. I heard lately that your men's group is taking off and it's really, really powerful. 193 00:22:16,520 --> 00:22:22,360 Don't be alone. I guarantee you I would fall to massive trouble if I was a lone ranger. 194 00:22:25,160 --> 00:22:30,840 Become one with the church. Become one with a godly friend to reach your spiritual potential 195 00:22:30,840 --> 00:22:40,840 and stay there. Stay there. And number three, become one with your spouse. If you're not married yet, 196 00:22:40,840 --> 00:22:46,120 tune in because I'm going to speak to you because marriage is coming to you soon and who you pick 197 00:22:46,120 --> 00:22:53,080 to be a life partner will have everything to do with your anointing and your calling flowing at 198 00:22:53,080 --> 00:22:59,640 the highest level. So you better pick carefully. You better be an investigator, young man. Investigate 199 00:22:59,640 --> 00:23:05,720 that she loved Jesus. Does she really truly wanting to follow the Lord? And can I really become one 200 00:23:05,720 --> 00:23:10,360 with her spiritually? Because if she doesn't know Jesus, doesn't love Jesus, that's trouble. 201 00:23:11,000 --> 00:23:14,920 That'll mess up your anointing. That'll mess up your calling quicker than anything. 202 00:23:16,200 --> 00:23:21,800 Investigate. Young ladies, investigate your guy. If he doesn't love Jesus, he doesn't follow Jesus 203 00:23:21,800 --> 00:23:26,760 and have him prove it over time. And number two, make sure that he's respectful to his parents. 204 00:23:26,760 --> 00:23:32,120 Make sure that he loves his mom and his dad and he's respectful to them. If he's disrespectful to 205 00:23:32,120 --> 00:23:38,440 his parents, walk away. If he doesn't care about Jesus, walk away. Don't go on one date because 206 00:23:38,440 --> 00:23:43,720 your heart can fall so quickly for somebody that doesn't know Jesus. And all of a sudden, 207 00:23:43,720 --> 00:23:49,320 you're unequally yoked. You can't become one. It's not possible to become one with someone 208 00:23:49,320 --> 00:23:55,240 that doesn't love Jesus when you do. That's why I waited till I was 37 to get married. 209 00:23:55,240 --> 00:24:00,360 God sent me Pam. Wow, what a miracle that was. 210 00:24:04,120 --> 00:24:11,320 She loves Jesus more than anybody I know. She's a warrior. She's on her knees praying over 211 00:24:11,320 --> 00:24:15,960 all conflict in life. She always wants to find the high road and take it with her family and her 212 00:24:15,960 --> 00:24:22,120 friends and her loved ones and issues outside of our marriage and moral dilemmas. And she always 213 00:24:22,120 --> 00:24:27,400 is on her knees. And because she loves Jesus and I love Jesus, we're flawed. But because of this, 214 00:24:27,400 --> 00:24:37,960 we can become one. Matthew 19.6 says, So there are no longer two but one. Therefore, what God has 215 00:24:37,960 --> 00:24:42,520 joined together, let no man separate. And Malachi, it says God hates divorce. You wonder why God 216 00:24:42,520 --> 00:24:48,680 hates divorce? Because he loves you. It's not over a law or a rule. He knows divorce is painful. 217 00:24:48,680 --> 00:24:53,800 He knows that it costs pain and hurt and division. And most people that go through a divorce, 218 00:24:53,800 --> 00:24:57,480 they give up everything they're involved in with ministry. And all they're calling and all 219 00:24:57,480 --> 00:25:03,240 they're anointing is either short circuited or it's done forever or it's done for quite some time 220 00:25:03,240 --> 00:25:08,520 if they ever come back to it at all. And their children are caught in the crossfire. And it 221 00:25:08,520 --> 00:25:14,360 breaks God's heart. And if you're here this morning and you're remarried, listen, great. I pray God 222 00:25:14,360 --> 00:25:19,960 bless the marriage you're in abundantly. But you've been through some pain, haven't you? 223 00:25:21,160 --> 00:25:25,640 And there's mercy and grace on the other side of a divorce. But let's make the marriage you're in 224 00:25:25,640 --> 00:25:35,880 the best it could ever be. Why? So that your life plays music that glorifies God. That your life, 225 00:25:35,880 --> 00:25:40,360 your neighbors, your friends, your coworkers, people coming into the church, they come around 226 00:25:40,360 --> 00:25:45,240 here and they're like, man, I want what she's got. I want what they've got. I want what he's got. 227 00:25:48,200 --> 00:25:55,800 What a brilliant message Jesus gave. What a brilliant prayer that he gave. Be negotiable 228 00:25:55,800 --> 00:26:01,640 in marriage. I'll give you a couple quick one-liners. The degree to which you're negotiable and 229 00:26:01,640 --> 00:26:06,280 collaborative in your marriage will almost always equal the degree to which you're happy. 230 00:26:06,280 --> 00:26:10,440 Like Pam and I, when we started, we were, this wasn't our strength. I was a strong-willed opinionated 231 00:26:10,440 --> 00:26:15,160 guy. She's a strong-willed opinionated woman. And we clashed and our preferences clashed. And our 232 00:26:15,160 --> 00:26:19,320 preferences clashed. Just like in church, our preferences, preferences, preferences. And one 233 00:26:19,320 --> 00:26:24,920 day we both woke up and said, oh my goodness, we're immature. Our issue is we're immature. 234 00:26:25,560 --> 00:26:30,280 Let's grow up spiritually and let's grow up relationally and let's start serving each other. 235 00:26:30,280 --> 00:26:35,480 And guess what? All of our stress went away. I became far more negotiable. She became more 236 00:26:35,480 --> 00:26:40,200 negotiable. She became far more negotiable. We became far more collaborative. Two strong-willed 237 00:26:40,200 --> 00:26:47,160 people that have very strong opinions. And usually they're opposing. One morning I realized how far 238 00:26:47,160 --> 00:26:53,640 I'd come. I realized how far Pam had influenced me. I get out of bed. And this is how I know. 239 00:26:53,640 --> 00:26:58,760 This is how I know the Holy Spirit's working. I get out of bed and I take 14 pillows and I neatly 240 00:26:58,760 --> 00:27:08,360 put them on my bed. The long one and then there's the roly-poly one. And I, man, I tighten up that 241 00:27:08,360 --> 00:27:17,960 top cover and I'm thinking, why am I doing this? This is stupid. You want to know why I do it? 242 00:27:17,960 --> 00:27:27,640 Because I love Pam. Because she asked me to do it. Did I grow up doing it? No. Ladies, how many 243 00:27:27,640 --> 00:27:35,000 pillows do you have in your house, by the way? Too many? Can you count them? Do you have holiday 244 00:27:35,000 --> 00:27:45,000 pillows and seasonal pillows? I want to take a samurai sword to every pillow in my house. 245 00:27:47,560 --> 00:27:51,480 Pam went deer hunting with me a few years ago. I gave her some antlers in a grunt and I put 246 00:27:51,480 --> 00:27:56,360 her 50 yards out and asked her to grunt and rattle every 20 minutes and she did. Why? Because she 247 00:27:56,360 --> 00:28:09,000 loves me. Be negotiable. Unity matters. Unity between Pam and I matters. Unity matters because if 248 00:28:09,000 --> 00:28:13,880 there's friction between us, we're, our vehicle's dead. I can't be a warrior. I can't be a, I can't 249 00:28:13,880 --> 00:28:19,240 be out swinging the sword for Jesus and so that more would know who he is when my marriage is 250 00:28:19,240 --> 00:28:24,200 broken down and I'm hurting and I'm angry and she's bitter and I'm bitter. And so if you hear this 251 00:28:24,200 --> 00:28:30,200 morning and maybe that's you, get help. Get help. I, I'd go get counseling every year if I had to. 252 00:28:31,240 --> 00:28:37,560 First of all, she deserves it. And second of all, this was Jesus' final prayer. He's like, hey, 253 00:28:37,560 --> 00:28:47,800 Satan's coming after you. Take it serious. Get help. Young ones, be careful who you pick 254 00:28:47,800 --> 00:28:55,400 and I'll wrap up this morning with, with two words, two of the most powerful words you'll ever hear 255 00:28:55,400 --> 00:29:01,640 that will create unity right now, like right now. It'll create unity in every situation right now, 256 00:29:01,640 --> 00:29:09,400 at least in your heart. Repent and forgive. Repent and forgive. Repent and forgive. Oh, oh, Pam, 257 00:29:09,400 --> 00:29:16,280 I'm sorry for my sin and I forgive you for yours. Come here. Come here, Pam. I'm sorry. Hey, Pastor, 258 00:29:16,280 --> 00:29:22,760 I, I repent for my part and I forgive you for yours. Come here, Pastor. Oh, co-worker, oh, friend, 259 00:29:23,400 --> 00:29:30,600 oh, neighbor, oh, whomever. Oh, man, I, man, I'm sorry. I, I didn't take the high road with you. 260 00:29:30,600 --> 00:29:38,360 That's on me. It doesn't even matter who's right or wrong. I repent. I forgive. And you know what's 261 00:29:38,360 --> 00:29:45,240 funny? The Holy Spirit will fall upon you. Unity will come back like that. Your heart, 262 00:29:45,240 --> 00:29:51,640 stay soft and teachable by the Lord. The music starts to play again in a beautiful way in your 263 00:29:51,640 --> 00:29:57,240 soul and it comes out in your actions and your attitude and your emotions. And all of a sudden, 264 00:29:57,240 --> 00:30:04,120 that thing that Jesus says that if and when you're won, the world will know. The world will know my 265 00:30:04,120 --> 00:30:16,680 power through you, but not if you're divided. So what? So what, Matt? I like to finish a sermon 266 00:30:16,680 --> 00:30:22,760 with a so what moment. So what are you going to do about it? I got a few thoughts for some of you. 267 00:30:22,760 --> 00:30:26,520 Maybe you go home and talk about it with your spouse. Just talk about the, the one with the 268 00:30:26,520 --> 00:30:30,440 church, one with your friends and one with each other. And is there work to be done? 269 00:30:30,440 --> 00:30:36,440 That's one thing you could do. Or if you're not married, talk with your buddies. Hey, 270 00:30:36,440 --> 00:30:40,360 we're not married. Let's talk about how to pick the right person. Let's talk about it. 271 00:30:40,360 --> 00:30:46,760 Let's talk about oneness in our group. Is this, could we go a notch higher and one in the church? 272 00:30:47,640 --> 00:30:53,640 How can I become more one with my church? Who, who, who should I call this afternoon? 273 00:30:53,640 --> 00:31:01,880 I said, man, I'm sorry. Hey, hey, son, daughter, mother, father, brother, sister, co-worker, 274 00:31:02,760 --> 00:31:10,760 pastor. Man, I'm sorry. Hey, listen, I forgive everything, but I'm asking you to forgive me. 275 00:31:12,200 --> 00:31:18,760 Maybe that's a so what for you this morning. I'll promise you one thing. The Holy Spirit 276 00:31:18,760 --> 00:31:25,160 will fall upon you. And if this becomes your lifestyle, you will find your anointing in your 277 00:31:25,160 --> 00:31:33,400 calling and it will thrive. Become one with your church. Become one with a godly warrior. 278 00:31:34,920 --> 00:31:39,720 And become one with your spouse. Let's pray. Father, as we close this morning, 279 00:31:39,720 --> 00:31:48,440 I hope and pray that this second rendition of this band up here sticks with us for a long time. 280 00:31:49,400 --> 00:31:53,480 Father, that might, if that be my life, that that be anyone's life in the room right now, 281 00:31:54,360 --> 00:31:58,440 that they get ahold of this message this morning and get on their knees and start with you. Oh, 282 00:31:58,440 --> 00:32:06,120 God, I'm sorry. Please forgive me. And then they start making phone calls. Get marriage mentoring, 283 00:32:06,120 --> 00:32:13,480 get in a life group, get in a men's group, get in a women's group. Why, Lord? So you be glorified. 284 00:32:14,600 --> 00:32:19,640 So your name be lifted high. So young children are watching and learning and doing. 285 00:32:19,640 --> 00:32:36,440 Amen. I pray all this in your holy name. Amen.