1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:28,400 We're going to be in Matthew 19 here for a little bit. 2 00:00:28,400 --> 00:00:37,400 When I think about our church and our community and how our church can best be used in our 3 00:00:37,400 --> 00:00:43,920 community, I want to be able to offer help in practical ways. 4 00:00:43,920 --> 00:00:49,640 So like when we do surfests in the spring, it's going to look a little different because 5 00:00:49,640 --> 00:00:54,360 I want us to become more engaged with the people that we live by, the people that we 6 00:00:54,360 --> 00:00:56,760 go to school with, the people we work with. 7 00:00:56,760 --> 00:01:02,640 So maybe instead of painting storm drains that benefit the whole city, maybe we can 8 00:01:02,640 --> 00:01:05,200 help one of our neighbors fix a fence. 9 00:01:05,200 --> 00:01:11,600 That way we can, we're able to engage in conversations with people within our own community. 10 00:01:11,600 --> 00:01:17,400 When I think of us as human beings and as I understand that we all have a lot of the 11 00:01:17,400 --> 00:01:22,120 same issues, whether you're a believer or not, we all have these issues. 12 00:01:22,120 --> 00:01:27,240 If I think of ways that the church has helped me over the years, I want to offer that to 13 00:01:27,240 --> 00:01:30,520 people who might be outside the church. 14 00:01:30,520 --> 00:01:35,800 One of those things I want us to be able to help with, not only us within the church, 15 00:01:35,800 --> 00:01:39,520 but also those outside the church is with their marriages. 16 00:01:39,520 --> 00:01:45,400 Now, I don't think anyone who is married, I hope, I don't know anybody that's married, 17 00:01:45,400 --> 00:01:48,960 that hopes to one day just have a roommate. 18 00:01:48,960 --> 00:01:52,240 To just have somebody that lives in the same house as them. 19 00:01:52,240 --> 00:01:57,040 I don't think anyone who gets married hopes that one day this thing ends in divorce and 20 00:01:57,040 --> 00:01:59,680 our kids have separate homes. 21 00:01:59,680 --> 00:02:05,720 When we get married, we are hoping for the best and we are hoping that this is just the 22 00:02:05,720 --> 00:02:09,080 beginning of a new life together. 23 00:02:09,080 --> 00:02:10,080 But here's the issue. 24 00:02:10,080 --> 00:02:17,560 Studies show that young adults suggest that they want their initial marriage to last, 25 00:02:17,560 --> 00:02:21,400 but are not particularly optimistic that it will happen. 26 00:02:21,400 --> 00:02:26,600 There's also evidence to suggest that people are moving toward embracing the idea of serial 27 00:02:26,600 --> 00:02:32,280 marriage where a person gets married two or three times depending on the stage of life 28 00:02:32,280 --> 00:02:33,880 that they are in. 29 00:02:33,880 --> 00:02:35,960 That is the trend that we are seeing. 30 00:02:35,960 --> 00:02:41,960 Research shows that 33% of Christian marriages end in divorce. 31 00:02:41,960 --> 00:02:48,240 Now that is not a good testimony to the gift that marriage is supposed to be. 32 00:02:48,240 --> 00:02:52,840 I feel like one of the best ways that we can help our community is to show people that 33 00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:55,280 we care about their marriages. 34 00:02:55,280 --> 00:02:59,760 I think it's important for you to know that come to this church that we care about your 35 00:02:59,760 --> 00:03:00,760 marriage as well. 36 00:03:00,760 --> 00:03:04,280 This morning we are going to be looking at God's design for marriage and then we are 37 00:03:04,280 --> 00:03:09,200 going to look at how our enemy and how our culture fight against marriage and then we 38 00:03:09,200 --> 00:03:12,360 are going to try and give you some tools that will help strengthen your marriage. 39 00:03:12,360 --> 00:03:13,640 I'm going to invite Elijah. 40 00:03:13,640 --> 00:03:15,360 Where is he at? 41 00:03:15,360 --> 00:03:17,200 There he is, over there in the corner. 42 00:03:17,200 --> 00:03:18,200 Elijah is going to come up. 43 00:03:18,200 --> 00:03:23,360 He's going to read our text this morning out of Matthew 19. 44 00:03:23,360 --> 00:03:25,400 He's going to read verses 4 through 6. 45 00:03:25,400 --> 00:03:29,840 As we read the word, I'd encourage you to stand as we honor the Lord's word together. 46 00:03:29,840 --> 00:03:34,520 If you're able, if not, no big deal. 47 00:03:34,520 --> 00:03:39,160 He answered, Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them 48 00:03:39,160 --> 00:03:40,160 male and female? 49 00:03:40,160 --> 00:03:45,120 He said, Therefore, a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his 50 00:03:45,120 --> 00:03:47,800 wife, and the two shall become one flesh. 51 00:03:47,800 --> 00:03:50,440 So there are no longer two but one flesh. 52 00:03:50,440 --> 00:03:53,560 What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate. 53 00:03:53,560 --> 00:03:54,560 Amen. 54 00:03:54,560 --> 00:03:55,560 Let's pray. 55 00:03:55,560 --> 00:03:58,800 Father, we thank you for Elijah and I thank you that he was willing to read your word. 56 00:03:58,800 --> 00:04:03,040 I pray that you will give him a strong desire to continue to study your word and know your 57 00:04:03,040 --> 00:04:04,040 word. 58 00:04:04,040 --> 00:04:09,120 I pray, Father, that as we look at this text this morning, as we look at your design, 59 00:04:09,120 --> 00:04:12,320 design of what marriage looks like, I pray, Father, that we will honor you with our words, 60 00:04:12,320 --> 00:04:14,560 but also, Father, I pray that you'll speak to our hearts. 61 00:04:14,560 --> 00:04:16,280 We ask all these things in your name. 62 00:04:16,280 --> 00:04:17,280 Amen. 63 00:04:17,280 --> 00:04:18,280 Thanks, buddy. 64 00:04:18,280 --> 00:04:26,520 Now, now this morning is a topic that I wanted a little bit of help on because I am not just 65 00:04:26,520 --> 00:04:28,320 talking to a group of men. 66 00:04:28,320 --> 00:04:34,920 We are mixed company in here and sometimes it's important for the benefit of our church 67 00:04:34,920 --> 00:04:38,800 to hear both perspectives when it comes to a topic like marriage. 68 00:04:38,800 --> 00:04:42,480 So I'm going to invite my smoking hot wife. 69 00:04:42,480 --> 00:04:47,240 I'll get in trouble for that later, don't worry. 70 00:04:47,240 --> 00:04:51,560 Seen up here as we navigate this passage together. 71 00:04:51,560 --> 00:04:57,240 So if you look at this passage, what Jesus is referring to, the passage that Elijah just 72 00:04:57,240 --> 00:05:02,520 read is he's actually quoting Genesis 2 when God created Adam and Eve. 73 00:05:02,520 --> 00:05:07,480 Now we know that there's not a whole lot of great marriages in the Bible. 74 00:05:07,480 --> 00:05:11,720 There's not a whole lot of good representation of what a good marriage looks like in the 75 00:05:11,720 --> 00:05:12,720 Scriptures. 76 00:05:12,720 --> 00:05:17,440 In fact, you would have a hard time looking through the Bible and trying to find a marriage 77 00:05:17,440 --> 00:05:20,240 that you would want to model yours after. 78 00:05:20,240 --> 00:05:31,960 Now I'm so grateful that Sina is not like Gomer, both in her behavior and also her name. 79 00:05:31,960 --> 00:05:33,800 That would be tragic to me. 80 00:05:33,800 --> 00:05:39,120 That would have probably been a deal breaker for me. 81 00:05:39,120 --> 00:05:45,720 I'm sure that she is grateful that I'm not like Solomon and she is just one of 700, right? 82 00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:50,320 And so there's not a lot of good ideas or representation of what a good marriage looks 83 00:05:50,320 --> 00:05:51,320 like. 84 00:05:51,320 --> 00:05:57,080 But we know from Scripture that it was God's intention when he created Adam and Eve that 85 00:05:57,080 --> 00:06:00,800 marriage would be between a man and a woman. 86 00:06:00,800 --> 00:06:07,120 Now when I was growing up, I never realized how controversial that statement could be 87 00:06:07,120 --> 00:06:10,080 that marriages between a man and a woman. 88 00:06:10,080 --> 00:06:13,240 Scripture is filled with references to marriages. 89 00:06:13,240 --> 00:06:14,400 We hear about weddings. 90 00:06:14,400 --> 00:06:16,360 We hear about brides and grooms. 91 00:06:16,360 --> 00:06:20,580 God constantly refers to his people as his bride. 92 00:06:20,580 --> 00:06:26,960 In the Bible there's more analogies and references to a marital relationship between God and 93 00:06:26,960 --> 00:06:30,200 his people than any other comparison. 94 00:06:30,200 --> 00:06:37,640 Now oftentimes it's in the context of adultery because as people go chasing after other gods, 95 00:06:37,640 --> 00:06:44,440 his people go continue to pursue other things and he's rebuking them for this, but you can't 96 00:06:44,440 --> 00:06:47,560 have adultery without the covenant of marriage. 97 00:06:47,560 --> 00:06:54,080 The entire book of Hosea is based on the comparison of marriage and God's relationship to his 98 00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:55,280 people. 99 00:06:55,280 --> 00:07:00,120 If you pay attention to the Old Testament and I would encourage you to do so, look 100 00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:07,400 for ways in which God longs for his people, in which God pursues his people. 101 00:07:07,400 --> 00:07:10,960 He's so passionate when speaking of his love for them. 102 00:07:10,960 --> 00:07:17,640 Isaiah 54 says, For the Lord has called you like a wife deserted and grieved in spirit, 103 00:07:17,640 --> 00:07:21,000 like a wife of youth when she is cast off, says your God. 104 00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:25,960 For a brief moment I deserted you, but with great compassion I gather you in overflowing 105 00:07:25,960 --> 00:07:27,520 anger for a moment. 106 00:07:27,520 --> 00:07:32,840 I hid my face from you, but with everlasting love I will have compassion on you, says the 107 00:07:32,840 --> 00:07:38,400 Lord your Redeemer. 108 00:07:38,400 --> 00:07:45,120 I think I would go so far as to call God a romantic based on Scripture. 109 00:07:45,120 --> 00:07:49,320 He's a romantic, but he's also a righteously jealous husband. 110 00:07:49,320 --> 00:07:56,760 When his bride is real for sakes God to pursue idolatry, God does label them adulterers. 111 00:07:56,760 --> 00:08:00,840 And he has righteous anger toward them. 112 00:08:00,840 --> 00:08:05,640 But this is evidence of his great love for them. 113 00:08:05,640 --> 00:08:13,080 If he was indifferent to his people, if he was not so fiercely committed to his bride, 114 00:08:13,080 --> 00:08:17,240 then he wouldn't feel so strongly about their betrayal. 115 00:08:17,240 --> 00:08:23,720 But even in the midst of Hosea, as God is pouring out his utter heartbreak over their 116 00:08:23,720 --> 00:08:28,880 betrayal, he says to them, how can I give you up? 117 00:08:28,880 --> 00:08:30,920 How can I hand you over? 118 00:08:30,920 --> 00:08:36,760 My heart recoils within me, and my compassion grows warm and tender. 119 00:08:36,760 --> 00:08:44,120 This is a relationship between God and his people that goes far beyond the distance. 120 00:08:44,120 --> 00:08:50,760 God and subservient worshiper relationship that you see in other religions, God is intimate 121 00:08:50,760 --> 00:08:52,760 with his people. 122 00:08:52,760 --> 00:08:56,560 And God's feeling toward his people in the Old Testament Scriptures mirrors God's intimacy 123 00:08:56,560 --> 00:09:01,040 toward his church in the New Testament under the New Covenant. 124 00:09:01,040 --> 00:09:08,520 Ephesians 5 and Revelation 19 speak of the church as being the sanctified bride of Christ. 125 00:09:08,520 --> 00:09:14,600 Now even though we went through Ephesians recently, Ephesians 5 is just so great in 126 00:09:14,600 --> 00:09:16,880 stating this comparison. 127 00:09:16,880 --> 00:09:22,400 So in 525 it says, husbands love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself 128 00:09:22,400 --> 00:09:27,800 up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing of water through the Word, 129 00:09:27,800 --> 00:09:32,880 and to present her to himself as a radiant church without stain or wrinkle or any other 130 00:09:32,880 --> 00:09:36,160 blemish but holy and blameless. 131 00:09:36,160 --> 00:09:40,520 In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. 132 00:09:40,520 --> 00:09:43,840 He who loves his wife loves himself. 133 00:09:43,840 --> 00:09:48,160 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body just 134 00:09:48,160 --> 00:09:50,400 as Christ does the church. 135 00:09:50,400 --> 00:09:53,160 For we are members of his body. 136 00:09:53,160 --> 00:09:57,440 For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and 137 00:09:57,440 --> 00:10:00,600 the two will become one flesh. 138 00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:04,880 This is a profound mystery, but I'm talking about Christ and the church. 139 00:10:04,880 --> 00:10:10,880 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself and the wife must 140 00:10:10,880 --> 00:10:13,160 respect her husband. 141 00:10:13,160 --> 00:10:22,160 Y'all, God is so kind to give us these earthly representations of spiritual truths. 142 00:10:22,160 --> 00:10:27,320 Things like communion and baptism like we saw today and every biblical feast and festival 143 00:10:27,320 --> 00:10:31,720 in the Bible, these are all means of grace. 144 00:10:31,720 --> 00:10:38,160 They are things that we can touch and experience and partake in here on earth to help us remember 145 00:10:38,160 --> 00:10:43,120 and understand what God has done for us. 146 00:10:43,120 --> 00:10:48,280 Marriage too is an earthly symbol of a heavenly truth. 147 00:10:48,280 --> 00:10:53,080 Marriage is something that we get to partake in in order to understand God's love and 148 00:10:53,080 --> 00:10:55,520 commitment to us. 149 00:10:55,520 --> 00:11:02,160 We are able to enter into this covenant relationship with another person and experience this intimacy 150 00:11:02,160 --> 00:11:07,080 with another person that surpasses all other relationships. 151 00:11:07,080 --> 00:11:14,960 And in doing so, we can have a glimpse not only of God's passion that he has for us, 152 00:11:14,960 --> 00:11:19,040 but also just the nature of God himself. 153 00:11:19,040 --> 00:11:22,520 God is fiercely committed to his bride. 154 00:11:22,520 --> 00:11:26,280 God desires to be one with us. 155 00:11:26,280 --> 00:11:30,280 God is jealous when his bride lasts after lesser things. 156 00:11:30,280 --> 00:11:33,880 God the Son laid down his life for his bride. 157 00:11:33,880 --> 00:11:37,280 Why does our world love a good romance? 158 00:11:37,280 --> 00:11:44,680 Because we are created in the image of God and he is madly in love with us. 159 00:11:44,680 --> 00:11:52,120 God gave us marriage to point us to the truth of who he is and to be a shadow of the relationship 160 00:11:52,120 --> 00:11:56,440 that we will experience with him in heaven. 161 00:11:56,440 --> 00:12:01,880 Our marriage is preach something to the world, whether we like it or not. 162 00:12:01,880 --> 00:12:07,680 Is your marriage preaching Jesus to those around you? 163 00:12:07,680 --> 00:12:12,920 Because if you look at most marriages in the world, they're preaching a gospel of self. 164 00:12:12,920 --> 00:12:17,240 As soon as the marriage stops serving oneself, he or she is out. 165 00:12:17,240 --> 00:12:22,240 The reason the divorce rate is so high is because our marriages are about us, or maybe 166 00:12:22,240 --> 00:12:27,720 they're even about our spouse, but they're not about God. 167 00:12:27,720 --> 00:12:33,400 Bringing oneself to the ultimate place in our hearts is a recipe for disaster. 168 00:12:33,400 --> 00:12:36,640 God must hold the ultimate place in our hearts. 169 00:12:36,640 --> 00:12:42,720 He must be our true love in order for our marriages and our lives as individuals to bring him 170 00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:44,080 glory. 171 00:12:44,080 --> 00:12:49,200 For this reason, we need to realize that our marriages are about something so much bigger, 172 00:12:49,200 --> 00:12:54,280 so much greater than just two people living together or raising a family together. 173 00:12:54,280 --> 00:12:59,200 The reason God created marriage is the same reason that he created everything in the beginning, 174 00:12:59,200 --> 00:13:02,720 and that is for his glory. 175 00:13:02,720 --> 00:13:08,600 Ecclesiastes 12, 13 says, the end of the matter, all that has been heard, fear God and keep 176 00:13:08,600 --> 00:13:13,520 His commandments, for this is the whole duty of man. 177 00:13:13,520 --> 00:13:20,840 Our marriages should display the truth and the beauty and the worth and the goodness and 178 00:13:20,840 --> 00:13:23,680 the sacrifice of God. 179 00:13:23,680 --> 00:13:30,160 They should point to one who gave us marriage, who designed marriage. 180 00:13:30,160 --> 00:13:36,640 Our marriage is living out their design of being an earthly representation of a heavenly 181 00:13:36,640 --> 00:13:39,000 reality. 182 00:13:39,000 --> 00:13:42,240 I think it's so easy to get caught up in the day-to-day schedules and craziness of the 183 00:13:42,240 --> 00:13:47,080 world, especially if you have kids, that we lose sight of what our marriages and families 184 00:13:47,080 --> 00:13:50,280 and lives are ultimately supposed to be about. 185 00:13:50,280 --> 00:13:56,920 We are so short-sighted that we forget the lasting impact that we can have on the world 186 00:13:56,920 --> 00:14:00,520 and on the generations that come after us. 187 00:14:00,520 --> 00:14:05,360 We don't want you to just have strong marriages so that you can be happy in your lifetime 188 00:14:05,360 --> 00:14:08,960 or that you can just glorify God in your lifetime. 189 00:14:08,960 --> 00:14:15,680 We want you to have strong marriages because we care about the legacy that you are leaving. 190 00:14:15,680 --> 00:14:23,400 We have no idea what effect a marriage that pursuing God can have on the generations to 191 00:14:23,400 --> 00:14:25,640 follow. 192 00:14:25,640 --> 00:14:30,200 We have to remember that we need to have a kingdom of perspective. 193 00:14:30,200 --> 00:14:33,120 That goes for all of our lives, not just for those of us who are married. 194 00:14:33,120 --> 00:14:37,280 We need to see the bigger picture and have a kingdom perspective. 195 00:14:37,280 --> 00:14:42,360 In our former church, there was a lovely couple named Mac and Mary. 196 00:14:42,360 --> 00:14:46,760 They had been successful business owners in La Mesa, but they were older and they had 197 00:14:46,760 --> 00:14:52,480 retired and they had earned every right to sit back and enjoy life. 198 00:14:52,480 --> 00:14:54,240 They had worked hard. 199 00:14:54,240 --> 00:14:57,880 Even though they had earned that right, they didn't. 200 00:14:57,880 --> 00:15:06,280 They instead started a program in our community to serve the many poor and undereducated women 201 00:15:06,280 --> 00:15:09,280 in particular in our community. 202 00:15:09,280 --> 00:15:16,200 They also started a thrift store to fund that program. 203 00:15:16,200 --> 00:15:21,880 Mary actually passed away in 2015, but when she did, this program was still alive and 204 00:15:21,880 --> 00:15:25,600 thriving and it is today as well. 205 00:15:25,600 --> 00:15:31,360 She left something behind that's going to outlive her, that is greater than just her 206 00:15:31,360 --> 00:15:32,360 life. 207 00:15:32,360 --> 00:15:38,880 Sadly, Mac and Mary's only child passed away, so they're not leaving a legacy if we're only 208 00:15:38,880 --> 00:15:41,840 speaking in familial terms. 209 00:15:41,840 --> 00:15:46,960 They weren't able to leave much of a legacy there, but Mary had a kingdom perspective. 210 00:15:46,960 --> 00:15:50,560 She didn't want to waste her life. 211 00:15:50,560 --> 00:15:53,900 She wanted it to make a difference for the kingdom. 212 00:15:53,900 --> 00:16:00,600 We need to realize the huge impact that we can have on the kingdom and leave a legacy. 213 00:16:00,600 --> 00:16:06,000 It's easy to see the legacy that they left in this story, but remember that godly marriages 214 00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:13,400 and godly families have such a huge impact on the kingdom of God. 215 00:16:13,400 --> 00:16:19,720 We need to remember that investing in our marriages is kingdom work. 216 00:16:19,720 --> 00:16:23,200 I think it's important to also understand that this is God's design. 217 00:16:23,200 --> 00:16:28,920 This is how he created us to function as human beings, but we also have to understand and 218 00:16:28,920 --> 00:16:33,120 realize that at the same time, Satan hates marriage. 219 00:16:33,120 --> 00:16:39,200 He's working extremely hard and doing everything he can to destroy the institution of marriage. 220 00:16:39,200 --> 00:16:43,640 We see it everywhere, but do you notice when you see it? 221 00:16:43,640 --> 00:16:49,440 First Peter 5.8 reads, the enemy is like a roaring lion looking for something to devour. 222 00:16:49,440 --> 00:16:52,160 Satan is constantly on the lookout. 223 00:16:52,160 --> 00:16:53,920 He's constantly hungry. 224 00:16:53,920 --> 00:16:56,320 He's constantly on the hook. 225 00:16:56,320 --> 00:16:59,200 Therefore, we need to be on guard. 226 00:16:59,200 --> 00:17:03,840 We need to be on guard not just in our marriage relationships, but we need to be on guard with 227 00:17:03,840 --> 00:17:09,880 other relationships even within the church because we have to protect those things. 228 00:17:09,880 --> 00:17:12,140 We know that Satan is a deceiver. 229 00:17:12,140 --> 00:17:17,040 We know from Jesus and John 10 that he comes to steal, kill, and destroy. 230 00:17:17,040 --> 00:17:21,800 We know these things about him, and the main way I've seen him destroy things is through 231 00:17:21,800 --> 00:17:23,240 lies and deception. 232 00:17:23,240 --> 00:17:25,960 I'm sure you have to. 233 00:17:25,960 --> 00:17:28,400 He will get you to believe lies. 234 00:17:28,400 --> 00:17:32,760 He will get you to begin to doubt the goodness of God. 235 00:17:32,760 --> 00:17:42,640 Remember when he told Eve in the garden, did God really say that starts planting these 236 00:17:42,640 --> 00:17:44,120 seeds of doubt? 237 00:17:44,120 --> 00:17:46,880 Have you heard that from him? 238 00:17:46,880 --> 00:17:48,520 Have you heard that in your life? 239 00:17:48,520 --> 00:17:53,120 There have been many times where the enemy has whispered things to me that I've kind 240 00:17:53,120 --> 00:17:56,720 of grabbed a hold of, and they sound ridiculous now. 241 00:17:56,720 --> 00:18:02,160 I know you're going to walk out of here judging me for the things that I've grabbed onto, 242 00:18:02,160 --> 00:18:08,480 but I've believed the lies at times in my marriage for things that are completely ridiculous 243 00:18:08,480 --> 00:18:09,480 today. 244 00:18:09,480 --> 00:18:12,640 When you say that I'm out loud now, you're like, man, I was an idiot. 245 00:18:12,640 --> 00:18:21,120 For instance, one of our first arguments after we got married was over laundry. 246 00:18:21,120 --> 00:18:25,520 I'd been doing my laundry for years. 247 00:18:25,520 --> 00:18:31,120 And this woman thinks that she knows better than me. 248 00:18:31,120 --> 00:18:32,720 I don't remember what she did. 249 00:18:32,720 --> 00:18:33,880 I can't remember. 250 00:18:33,880 --> 00:18:39,800 It's probably she hung my shirt in the closet instead of folding it and putting it in the 251 00:18:39,800 --> 00:18:43,080 drawer like I wanted it to be. 252 00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:46,240 What happened? 253 00:18:46,240 --> 00:18:48,600 It wasn't that I was doing his laundry wrong. 254 00:18:48,600 --> 00:18:50,680 It was that I was doing it at all. 255 00:18:50,680 --> 00:18:52,000 He didn't want me touching his laundry. 256 00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:54,520 He didn't even want my laundry mixing with his laundry. 257 00:18:54,520 --> 00:18:57,800 Like there was something wrong with it. 258 00:18:57,800 --> 00:19:01,520 But he grew up in a family where everybody did their own laundry. 259 00:19:01,520 --> 00:19:06,480 I grew up in a family where my mom did everybody's laundry and then we put our individual stuff 260 00:19:06,480 --> 00:19:08,040 away. 261 00:19:08,040 --> 00:19:12,880 So whenever he was like, I got this, it made me feel like he didn't think I was a capable 262 00:19:12,880 --> 00:19:15,160 wife or a good wife. 263 00:19:15,160 --> 00:19:18,840 And that is silly because today the more mature of me is like, do your own laundry. 264 00:19:18,840 --> 00:19:20,560 I'm happy to let you have it. 265 00:19:20,560 --> 00:19:24,680 Now it's like, why aren't you doing my laundry? 266 00:19:24,680 --> 00:19:25,680 Now it's completely different. 267 00:19:25,680 --> 00:19:28,240 But I've been in ministry long enough. 268 00:19:28,240 --> 00:19:33,040 I'm sure you've been in church long enough to know that it starts with one little lie 269 00:19:33,040 --> 00:19:40,600 like that, that starts this downward spiral, that ends with a couple eventually just calling 270 00:19:40,600 --> 00:19:44,560 it quits or friends ending relationships. 271 00:19:44,560 --> 00:19:49,520 And I remember thinking, what in the world have I gotten myself into? 272 00:19:49,520 --> 00:19:52,800 What have I committed my life to? 273 00:19:52,800 --> 00:19:56,920 She's going to screw everything up. 274 00:19:56,920 --> 00:20:03,760 And I've had moments, I've had moments where I didn't think she cared for me because she 275 00:20:03,760 --> 00:20:06,040 didn't answer her phone. 276 00:20:06,040 --> 00:20:08,840 I pay for that phone. 277 00:20:08,840 --> 00:20:15,400 And I can remember, I can remember really feeling like if she loved me, if she cared 278 00:20:15,400 --> 00:20:19,440 for me, she would answer her phone when I called. 279 00:20:19,440 --> 00:20:26,160 And for a few hours, multiple times, I would sit in that thought about my wife. 280 00:20:26,160 --> 00:20:30,040 I would just sit there and dwell on the fact that she didn't love me. 281 00:20:30,040 --> 00:20:35,960 And if I didn't take those thoughts captive, I would begin to notice other things that 282 00:20:35,960 --> 00:20:36,960 she was doing wrong. 283 00:20:36,960 --> 00:20:42,640 I'd begin to notice all the other little things that made me think that she doesn't care about 284 00:20:42,640 --> 00:20:43,640 me. 285 00:20:43,640 --> 00:20:51,280 And it starts off with these little small lies that snowball into really big issues. 286 00:20:51,280 --> 00:20:54,480 And then you stand on a stage like this and you tell us, you start saying these things 287 00:20:54,480 --> 00:20:57,920 out loud and you're like, that was a lie from the enemy. 288 00:20:57,920 --> 00:21:00,880 Satan is a deceiver. 289 00:21:00,880 --> 00:21:04,440 And he will try to get you to believe lies about your spouse. 290 00:21:04,440 --> 00:21:09,000 He will try to get you to believe about lies about a fellow church member or coworker in 291 00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:13,600 order to drive a wedge between the two of you. 292 00:21:13,600 --> 00:21:20,280 And if from the beginning God saw the need for community, he saw the importance of doing 293 00:21:20,280 --> 00:21:24,800 life together because he wanted us made in his image. 294 00:21:24,800 --> 00:21:31,440 As the Trinity has perfect community within the Godhead, he created us to live in community. 295 00:21:31,440 --> 00:21:37,840 And Satan's goal is to corrupt everything that God intended to lead us to life. 296 00:21:37,840 --> 00:21:42,720 Another way that Satan will try to destroy relationships between spouses, between believers, 297 00:21:42,720 --> 00:21:50,560 between friends, inside the church is through expectations that people can't live up to. 298 00:21:50,560 --> 00:21:58,760 Expectations that we put on people are potential disappointments in people. 299 00:21:58,760 --> 00:22:04,480 Paul tells us in Philippians 419 that God will supply all of our needs. 300 00:22:04,480 --> 00:22:07,760 But we tend not to look at God sometimes for our emotional needs. 301 00:22:07,760 --> 00:22:10,200 We look to others. 302 00:22:10,200 --> 00:22:15,440 And the truth of the matter is nobody can carry that weight because we are going to disappoint 303 00:22:15,440 --> 00:22:16,440 you. 304 00:22:16,440 --> 00:22:17,440 We're going to let you down. 305 00:22:17,440 --> 00:22:20,480 Scripture says that God is our comforter. 306 00:22:20,480 --> 00:22:25,440 And we shouldn't have expectations on others to bring us comfort. 307 00:22:25,440 --> 00:22:27,200 Now it's a bonus when they do. 308 00:22:27,200 --> 00:22:29,520 It's a bonus when the community comes together. 309 00:22:29,520 --> 00:22:31,000 They do bring us comfort. 310 00:22:31,000 --> 00:22:37,720 But sometimes just for clarity's sake, ladies, sometimes our husband minds don't work that 311 00:22:37,720 --> 00:22:39,320 way. 312 00:22:39,320 --> 00:22:42,920 Sometimes when you need a hug, we're thinking about something else. 313 00:22:42,920 --> 00:22:44,520 And we don't realize that. 314 00:22:44,520 --> 00:22:50,840 Scripture says that Christ loved us enough to lay down his life for us. 315 00:22:50,840 --> 00:22:54,760 That he considered us worthy of that. 316 00:22:54,760 --> 00:23:02,800 But how many times have you or us looked for others to tell us our worth through Instagram 317 00:23:02,800 --> 00:23:06,120 likes, through social media views? 318 00:23:06,120 --> 00:23:12,320 How many times do we look to others for things that we should be getting from our spouse? 319 00:23:12,320 --> 00:23:16,960 And how many times do we look to our spouse for things that we should be getting from 320 00:23:16,960 --> 00:23:18,280 the Lord? 321 00:23:18,280 --> 00:23:22,280 God has promised these things to us. 322 00:23:22,280 --> 00:23:28,480 When we make our marriages all about us, when we make it about us and not the glory of God, 323 00:23:28,480 --> 00:23:30,840 we are playing right into the enemy's hands. 324 00:23:30,840 --> 00:23:38,360 I mean, he really doesn't even have to do much, but sit back and watch our sinful nature 325 00:23:38,360 --> 00:23:42,440 and how our sinful nature is all about ourself. 326 00:23:42,440 --> 00:23:43,760 It's all about us. 327 00:23:43,760 --> 00:23:51,680 When we take our focus off of God and our true purpose for our relationships, we will naturally 328 00:23:51,680 --> 00:23:57,440 elevate ourselves, we'll naturally elevate our spouses or our children to that highest 329 00:23:57,440 --> 00:23:58,940 position. 330 00:23:58,940 --> 00:24:02,200 And we start looking for our spouse to complete us. 331 00:24:02,200 --> 00:24:09,640 I hate Jerry Maguire because he's looking at this woman and what does he say? 332 00:24:09,640 --> 00:24:12,440 You complete me. 333 00:24:12,440 --> 00:24:15,620 And our culture eats that stuff up. 334 00:24:15,620 --> 00:24:19,560 But the reality is my wife can't complete me. 335 00:24:19,560 --> 00:24:22,440 She wasn't created to complete me. 336 00:24:22,440 --> 00:24:26,000 She was created to work beside me. 337 00:24:26,000 --> 00:24:29,040 We start looking to our spouse to do those things. 338 00:24:29,040 --> 00:24:31,560 We look to them for affirmation. 339 00:24:31,560 --> 00:24:37,400 We look to others for affirmation and worth and purpose that can only be fulfilled by 340 00:24:37,400 --> 00:24:39,760 God. 341 00:24:39,760 --> 00:24:42,200 And when our spouses inevitably fall short. 342 00:24:42,200 --> 00:24:49,440 Now I don't know about you all, but Sina will tell you I tend to fall short on some expectations. 343 00:24:49,440 --> 00:24:54,680 And I'm so grateful that she understands that and that I'm not the most important thing 344 00:24:54,680 --> 00:24:56,320 in her life. 345 00:24:56,320 --> 00:25:05,680 And when our expectations are not met, it always will end in disappointment. 346 00:25:05,680 --> 00:25:11,920 Here's what I find really, really fascinating about the whole institution of marriage. 347 00:25:11,920 --> 00:25:20,560 This is a holy act ordained by God in the beginning for man and woman to come together 348 00:25:20,560 --> 00:25:21,900 as one. 349 00:25:21,900 --> 00:25:25,400 That is a spiritual act. 350 00:25:25,400 --> 00:25:32,280 And yet it has been completely integrated into our world and into our secular culture. 351 00:25:32,280 --> 00:25:40,560 Every culture actually, past and present, has some form of marriage in their practices. 352 00:25:40,560 --> 00:25:45,320 Most non-Christians who won't even step foot in the door of a church or partake in the 353 00:25:45,320 --> 00:25:49,200 other means of grace that we've talked about, they're willing to get married. 354 00:25:49,200 --> 00:25:54,640 So this is a spiritual act that has become integrated into the secular world and practiced 355 00:25:54,640 --> 00:25:56,760 by most cultures around the world. 356 00:25:56,760 --> 00:26:03,200 And of course, Satan hates anything that's God's idea and that God created and named 357 00:26:03,200 --> 00:26:07,360 us good and he's out to destroy it. 358 00:26:07,360 --> 00:26:15,760 And so instead of just completely doing away with marriage, he takes marriage and he uses 359 00:26:15,760 --> 00:26:23,600 our culture to attack it, to attack what God has created and offers up these twisted, counterfeit, 360 00:26:23,600 --> 00:26:26,720 selfish versions of marriage. 361 00:26:26,720 --> 00:26:31,240 You see, Satan is terribly uncreative in his attempts to attack the kingdom of heaven. 362 00:26:31,240 --> 00:26:37,120 He can't come up with anything original and so he just takes God's idea and twists it. 363 00:26:37,120 --> 00:26:41,200 A great example of this is with the all familiar pride flag, right? 364 00:26:41,200 --> 00:26:44,280 We see it everywhere. 365 00:26:44,280 --> 00:26:50,280 Satan has taken this beautiful symbol of God's promise, the rainbow, and he has twisted it 366 00:26:50,280 --> 00:26:56,040 to become a banner for a sinful culture, right? 367 00:26:56,040 --> 00:27:00,760 But if you pay attention, it is missing something. 368 00:27:00,760 --> 00:27:05,680 There is only six colors in the pride flag as opposed to the seven offered up by the 369 00:27:05,680 --> 00:27:07,600 actual rainbow. 370 00:27:07,600 --> 00:27:14,640 You see, everything that Satan offers you is less than what God is offering you. 371 00:27:14,640 --> 00:27:16,160 It will always fall short. 372 00:27:16,160 --> 00:27:19,160 It will always be lacking. 373 00:27:19,160 --> 00:27:26,800 So instead of this spiritual union between a man and a woman with the potential to display 374 00:27:26,800 --> 00:27:38,160 the sacrificial love of Jesus, we're offered the lesser alternatives of homosexuality, transgenderism 375 00:27:38,160 --> 00:27:43,880 living together without the commitment of marriage or just being flippant about the 376 00:27:43,880 --> 00:27:48,880 holy act of sex and giving our bodies away to whomever. 377 00:27:48,880 --> 00:27:54,280 And if you can't get, and if he can't get you to engage in these more obvious acts of 378 00:27:54,280 --> 00:27:59,240 sin, then he will just play to our natural state of complete selfishness like Daniel 379 00:27:59,240 --> 00:28:00,240 was saying earlier. 380 00:28:00,240 --> 00:28:04,680 And this is where we forget that our marriages aren't about us, that they're about the glory 381 00:28:04,680 --> 00:28:06,440 of God, right? 382 00:28:06,440 --> 00:28:11,040 And we start focusing on our own happiness instead of God's glory. 383 00:28:11,040 --> 00:28:15,320 And even though Satan will try to convince you that looking out for number one will make 384 00:28:15,320 --> 00:28:21,600 you happier, that that is the better option, it will always leave you wanting. 385 00:28:21,600 --> 00:28:27,320 It will always be less than God's best for you. 386 00:28:27,320 --> 00:28:32,200 So don't be willing to settle for less than God's best. 387 00:28:32,200 --> 00:28:36,800 The enemy's version will always leave you wanting and God's version will always leave 388 00:28:36,800 --> 00:28:39,360 you fulfilled. 389 00:28:39,360 --> 00:28:43,240 So knowing what God's design is, this is how God created us to work as humans. 390 00:28:43,240 --> 00:28:45,240 This is how he created us to live. 391 00:28:45,240 --> 00:28:48,320 This is what his design for marriage is. 392 00:28:48,320 --> 00:28:53,640 And then knowing how Satan is going to do everything he can to attack it. 393 00:28:53,640 --> 00:28:55,160 He's going to lie to you. 394 00:28:55,160 --> 00:28:56,640 He's going to deceive you. 395 00:28:56,640 --> 00:29:00,840 He's going to make you believe things about your spouse, about other Christians, about 396 00:29:00,840 --> 00:29:02,000 other people around you. 397 00:29:02,000 --> 00:29:04,760 He's going to do everything he can to deceive you. 398 00:29:04,760 --> 00:29:11,560 He's going to use every single tool in his toolbox to destroy it. 399 00:29:11,560 --> 00:29:14,680 He's going to do everything he can to destroy the church. 400 00:29:14,680 --> 00:29:20,880 And we as a church, we're going to do what we can to stand firm against it. 401 00:29:20,880 --> 00:29:24,000 We're going to do what we can to defend God's design. 402 00:29:24,000 --> 00:29:30,440 And what that looks like is we are going to offer you resources that help direct you back 403 00:29:30,440 --> 00:29:36,440 to a healthy, strong, God-honoring marriage and what that looks like. 404 00:29:36,440 --> 00:29:39,040 For now we're going to do that in two ways. 405 00:29:39,040 --> 00:29:43,040 First we're going to offer marriage classes here at the church. 406 00:29:43,040 --> 00:29:51,520 In which we will discuss biblical ways to confront issues in marriage and provide insights 407 00:29:51,520 --> 00:29:57,280 that will hopefully give you some tools to help strengthen your marriage. 408 00:29:57,280 --> 00:30:01,560 I want you to think of these like a tune-up. 409 00:30:01,560 --> 00:30:07,560 If we were to just drive our cars and never do anything besides fill them with gas, they 410 00:30:07,560 --> 00:30:10,240 wouldn't last too long, would they? 411 00:30:10,240 --> 00:30:11,680 We need to change the oil. 412 00:30:11,680 --> 00:30:13,320 We need to replace the filters. 413 00:30:13,320 --> 00:30:19,080 We need to rotate the tires and care for them if we're going to get our money's worth out 414 00:30:19,080 --> 00:30:21,440 of them. 415 00:30:21,440 --> 00:30:23,440 Marriage is very similar in that way. 416 00:30:23,440 --> 00:30:28,360 We have invested our lives to this person. 417 00:30:28,360 --> 00:30:30,600 We've committed our lives to them. 418 00:30:30,600 --> 00:30:34,400 We have invested our lives into relationships. 419 00:30:34,400 --> 00:30:39,960 If we don't tune up some things along the way, those things are going to break down. 420 00:30:39,960 --> 00:30:41,560 Our marriages are going to break down. 421 00:30:41,560 --> 00:30:44,480 Our relationships with each other is going to break down. 422 00:30:44,480 --> 00:30:45,480 Think about this. 423 00:30:45,480 --> 00:30:52,520 How many relationships that you have have ended because you didn't put in the work? 424 00:30:52,520 --> 00:30:58,840 If we don't work on our communication, if we don't discuss our frustrations, if we 425 00:30:58,840 --> 00:31:04,720 don't set some goals, then our relationships are not going to thrive. 426 00:31:04,720 --> 00:31:12,120 I want my marriage to be the best it can so that when our children look at us, when they 427 00:31:12,120 --> 00:31:16,520 see the good and they see the bad, they'll never see perfection. 428 00:31:16,520 --> 00:31:19,960 But when they look at our marriage, I want them to see that this thing is important to 429 00:31:19,960 --> 00:31:20,960 us. 430 00:31:20,960 --> 00:31:28,040 We're going to put in the work so that when they get married, when they get married and 431 00:31:28,040 --> 00:31:32,120 they have hard days because we all know they're going to have hard days, they can look back 432 00:31:32,120 --> 00:31:36,000 and remember my parents didn't throw in the towel. 433 00:31:36,000 --> 00:31:38,720 My parents put in the hard work. 434 00:31:38,720 --> 00:31:43,320 When we're in public and we're sitting at a baseball game or whatever, I want our relationship 435 00:31:43,320 --> 00:31:50,480 to look like a reflection of the goodness of God that's at work in our lives. 436 00:31:50,480 --> 00:31:54,120 I want our marriage to preach Jesus. 437 00:31:54,120 --> 00:31:56,080 That doesn't come easy. 438 00:31:56,080 --> 00:31:59,440 It takes a lot of work, right? 439 00:31:59,440 --> 00:32:00,440 A lot of work. 440 00:32:00,440 --> 00:32:01,440 A lot of work. 441 00:32:01,440 --> 00:32:02,440 A lot of work. 442 00:32:02,440 --> 00:32:03,440 Okay. 443 00:32:03,440 --> 00:32:08,920 No, I can't be very much. 444 00:32:08,920 --> 00:32:09,920 Absolutely. 445 00:32:09,920 --> 00:32:15,360 But you know, when Daniel and I got married, we had like everything going for us. 446 00:32:15,360 --> 00:32:20,320 I mean, I'm not trying to brag, but we had both sets of parents were still married. 447 00:32:20,320 --> 00:32:21,600 There was not a history of divorce. 448 00:32:21,600 --> 00:32:22,720 They still were married. 449 00:32:22,720 --> 00:32:24,480 They still loved each other. 450 00:32:24,480 --> 00:32:29,960 We had both grown up in the church and had this really strong foundation of faith. 451 00:32:29,960 --> 00:32:34,680 We were both Bible majors in college and we were even taking classes on how to like do 452 00:32:34,680 --> 00:32:36,420 Christian counseling. 453 00:32:36,420 --> 00:32:38,580 We both had the same vision for the future. 454 00:32:38,580 --> 00:32:40,800 We both wanted to be in ministry. 455 00:32:40,800 --> 00:32:43,880 We were united in our calling. 456 00:32:43,880 --> 00:32:46,780 We wanted our marriage to glorify God. 457 00:32:46,780 --> 00:32:48,720 We took premarital counseling. 458 00:32:48,720 --> 00:32:51,200 We knew all the things. 459 00:32:51,200 --> 00:32:55,280 We were the poster children for a successful marriage. 460 00:32:55,280 --> 00:33:00,640 And yet we struggled like big time struggled. 461 00:33:00,640 --> 00:33:06,640 We still do, but in the early days of our marriage, we struggled like seriously. 462 00:33:06,640 --> 00:33:11,040 And for this prolonged period of time, and I think that's because we did not ask for 463 00:33:11,040 --> 00:33:12,400 help. 464 00:33:12,400 --> 00:33:17,000 We were 20 something church planners in Ohio. 465 00:33:17,000 --> 00:33:20,560 We didn't have a strong community of support around us. 466 00:33:20,560 --> 00:33:24,520 We were trying to lead others and we thought we have to have all the answers and we have 467 00:33:24,520 --> 00:33:25,640 to have it all together. 468 00:33:25,640 --> 00:33:29,320 And so we would go out in public with a smile on our face and look like we had this great 469 00:33:29,320 --> 00:33:34,320 relationship and one of us was sleeping on the couch most nights. 470 00:33:34,320 --> 00:33:36,640 We were afraid to ask for help. 471 00:33:36,640 --> 00:33:44,320 And so we missed out on this beautiful joy that you can get from a marriage pursuing God 472 00:33:44,320 --> 00:33:49,680 and a marriage united and we had just needed to ask for help. 473 00:33:49,680 --> 00:33:54,640 So even if you feel like you've done everything right or maybe even if you haven't struggled 474 00:33:54,640 --> 00:33:59,760 like we have, you still can reach out and ask for help. 475 00:33:59,760 --> 00:34:02,680 And because we all need it and we all need encouragement. 476 00:34:02,680 --> 00:34:04,240 We all need that tune up. 477 00:34:04,240 --> 00:34:06,080 And this is where I failed. 478 00:34:06,080 --> 00:34:08,080 This is where I failed early on in our marriage. 479 00:34:08,080 --> 00:34:10,560 I knew we had some issues. 480 00:34:10,560 --> 00:34:12,280 Sina knew we had some issues. 481 00:34:12,280 --> 00:34:16,040 She was saying, hey, we need to go see a counselor, but I wouldn't go. 482 00:34:16,040 --> 00:34:17,640 I'm not going to that. 483 00:34:17,640 --> 00:34:20,280 I was unwilling to make myself vulnerable. 484 00:34:20,280 --> 00:34:25,720 I think I even told her that I know what the counselor is going to say. 485 00:34:25,720 --> 00:34:27,640 I've been through those classes. 486 00:34:27,640 --> 00:34:31,040 I thought I had all the answers. 487 00:34:31,040 --> 00:34:33,040 And here's what I think happens, at least in my marriage. 488 00:34:33,040 --> 00:34:39,120 Here's what I think happens is Sina has a different standard than I do. 489 00:34:39,120 --> 00:34:44,840 And for instance, I would be fine if our bedding didn't match the color of our walls. 490 00:34:44,840 --> 00:34:46,080 I'd be just fine with it. 491 00:34:46,080 --> 00:34:48,200 I wouldn't lose a moment's sleep about it. 492 00:34:48,200 --> 00:34:50,520 If they clashed, no big deal for me. 493 00:34:50,520 --> 00:34:53,680 Sina wouldn't be able to sleep. 494 00:34:53,680 --> 00:34:58,560 She wouldn't be able to live in a place that didn't have matching colors. 495 00:34:58,560 --> 00:34:59,560 So what's she going to do? 496 00:34:59,560 --> 00:35:01,680 She's going to do something about that. 497 00:35:01,680 --> 00:35:02,920 She's going to paint the walls. 498 00:35:02,920 --> 00:35:04,560 She's going to get new bedding. 499 00:35:04,560 --> 00:35:12,000 And as men, because of the fall, because of our sinless nature, we tend to have a passivity 500 00:35:12,000 --> 00:35:13,280 in our relationships. 501 00:35:13,280 --> 00:35:17,720 We tend to have a that's good enough mentality. 502 00:35:17,720 --> 00:35:22,600 And one of the most God honoring things that you can do for your marriage is to lead your 503 00:35:22,600 --> 00:35:28,560 wife by creating a marriage that is in line with God's design. 504 00:35:28,560 --> 00:35:30,520 That happens when we are vulnerable. 505 00:35:30,520 --> 00:35:32,200 That happens when we seek help. 506 00:35:32,200 --> 00:35:35,720 That happens when we place her needs above our own. 507 00:35:35,720 --> 00:35:36,840 So let's go men. 508 00:35:36,840 --> 00:35:38,560 Let's go against our culture. 509 00:35:38,560 --> 00:35:40,880 Let's stop being passive and weak. 510 00:35:40,880 --> 00:35:43,040 Let's lead our wives well. 511 00:35:43,040 --> 00:35:46,800 Let's lead in our church well. 512 00:35:46,800 --> 00:35:51,320 The second way we want to help marriages is to offer marriage mentoring. 513 00:35:51,320 --> 00:35:54,080 I mean this is our discipleship model in action. 514 00:35:54,080 --> 00:35:59,600 There are many of you have learned a lot of hard lessons throughout your marriage. 515 00:35:59,600 --> 00:36:02,740 You've seen God grow. 516 00:36:02,740 --> 00:36:05,200 You've seen God grow your love for each other. 517 00:36:05,200 --> 00:36:09,520 You've seen God grow your love for him throughout your time together. 518 00:36:09,520 --> 00:36:14,800 And like Sina said earlier, let your marriage be a legacy for others. 519 00:36:14,800 --> 00:36:20,160 Speak of the goodness of God to others who are struggling in their relationship. 520 00:36:20,160 --> 00:36:22,880 We did our last church. 521 00:36:22,880 --> 00:36:26,960 We did a marriage intensive Bible study called reengage. 522 00:36:26,960 --> 00:36:31,360 And Daniel and I led that and we each led our own small groups in that. 523 00:36:31,360 --> 00:36:36,680 And when we started it, I was I was like, I am not equipped to do this. 524 00:36:36,680 --> 00:36:41,160 This is I don't know enough, I've struggled in our own marriage. 525 00:36:41,160 --> 00:36:44,720 And at that time we were in a pretty good place, but still I just felt so inadequate 526 00:36:44,720 --> 00:36:46,560 for this task. 527 00:36:46,560 --> 00:36:51,000 And so we started doing this and throughout leading the Bible study, our marriage was 528 00:36:51,000 --> 00:36:52,560 strengthened as well. 529 00:36:52,560 --> 00:36:56,880 We grew and we learned so much through that in leading it. 530 00:36:56,880 --> 00:37:02,440 And then as we were leaving and telling everybody by, and let me say to come here, one of the 531 00:37:02,440 --> 00:37:08,600 couples in that Bible study came up and said, you saved our marriage through that. 532 00:37:08,600 --> 00:37:12,560 And of course I said, no, God saved your marriage and you were willing to put in the work in 533 00:37:12,560 --> 00:37:13,880 order to save your marriage. 534 00:37:13,880 --> 00:37:19,520 But man, it felt good to know that God had used me in that way. 535 00:37:19,520 --> 00:37:25,400 It feels it's so rewarding for God to use the heartache and the pain that we went through 536 00:37:25,400 --> 00:37:28,400 in the past in order to bless somebody else. 537 00:37:28,400 --> 00:37:36,160 And so even if you don't feel equipped to possibly be a mentor, we want you to just know that 538 00:37:36,160 --> 00:37:39,640 God has a plan for you and he has a plan for the pain and the hurt and the lessons that 539 00:37:39,640 --> 00:37:40,640 you've learned. 540 00:37:40,640 --> 00:37:43,960 And he wants you to use that to bless others. 541 00:37:43,960 --> 00:37:50,280 Second Corinthians 1-3 tells us about comforting others by the comfort that we've received 542 00:37:50,280 --> 00:37:51,280 from God. 543 00:37:51,280 --> 00:37:55,240 It says, bless to be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies 544 00:37:55,240 --> 00:38:00,960 and God of all comfort who comforts us in our affliction so that we may be able to comfort 545 00:38:00,960 --> 00:38:07,360 those who were in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted 546 00:38:07,360 --> 00:38:08,760 by God. 547 00:38:08,760 --> 00:38:15,520 We need bold believers who are willing to step out and help mentor as well as those who 548 00:38:15,520 --> 00:38:17,960 who are ready to receive mentoring. 549 00:38:17,960 --> 00:38:21,400 I mean, this is discipleship, but this is also outreach. 550 00:38:21,400 --> 00:38:27,360 And we want you and we want to participate in both, come to the class, bring a friend 551 00:38:27,360 --> 00:38:31,360 of yours to the class because you could both benefit from that. 552 00:38:31,360 --> 00:38:38,600 We are actively going to fight against Satan and his work to destroy marriages and families. 553 00:38:38,600 --> 00:38:42,400 Anything of value takes work to keep it. 554 00:38:42,400 --> 00:38:45,320 Your marriage is valuable. 555 00:38:45,320 --> 00:38:49,920 Relationships are valuable because God created us to live in community. 556 00:38:49,920 --> 00:38:54,320 He created marriage so that we would have help. 557 00:38:54,320 --> 00:38:59,920 And for those of you that aren't married or maybe you've had a bad marriage, I want to 558 00:38:59,920 --> 00:39:05,560 remind you that it does not lessen your worth and value. 559 00:39:05,560 --> 00:39:08,440 I don't know how single parents do it. 560 00:39:08,440 --> 00:39:13,760 Seen and I play zone defense with our four kids and they still get past this all the 561 00:39:13,760 --> 00:39:14,760 time. 562 00:39:14,760 --> 00:39:20,960 We as a church want to do anything we can to help support you single parents. 563 00:39:20,960 --> 00:39:23,520 As a church, we can never put our guard down. 564 00:39:23,520 --> 00:39:28,720 You can never put your guard down and we need to be aware of the lies the enemy might be 565 00:39:28,720 --> 00:39:31,360 whispering in your ear. 566 00:39:31,360 --> 00:39:33,360 Satan loves the vision. 567 00:39:33,360 --> 00:39:36,160 He loves the vision and God hates it. 568 00:39:36,160 --> 00:39:44,640 If you have animosity with another believer, maybe it is time for a tune up in that relationship. 569 00:39:44,640 --> 00:39:47,760 Seen in community is God's design for us as humans. 570 00:39:47,760 --> 00:39:52,280 And if the enemy's goal is to split that community, whether you're in a church or whether you're 571 00:39:52,280 --> 00:39:55,840 in a marriage, we need to fight against that. 572 00:39:55,840 --> 00:40:00,640 And I think one of the ways that we can fight against that is be aware that our hearts are 573 00:40:00,640 --> 00:40:03,520 deceitful. 574 00:40:03,520 --> 00:40:10,040 And Satan will use our deceitful hearts against us where we will completely ignore truth, 575 00:40:10,040 --> 00:40:15,240 we'll completely ignore what's right and base everything on our feelings. 576 00:40:15,240 --> 00:40:21,720 This is why classes and communication and mentoring is the key to the health of our 577 00:40:21,720 --> 00:40:23,120 relationships. 578 00:40:23,120 --> 00:40:25,000 So would you consider joining a class? 579 00:40:25,000 --> 00:40:28,680 Would you consider being mentored or mentoring somebody else? 580 00:40:28,680 --> 00:40:34,000 Would you consider laying down your frustrations and trusting that the Lord will change your 581 00:40:34,000 --> 00:40:37,840 heart? 582 00:40:37,840 --> 00:40:41,720 This isn't just about marriage, this is how God created us to be. 583 00:40:41,720 --> 00:40:43,960 So we need to fight against that. 584 00:40:43,960 --> 00:40:44,960 Let's pray. 585 00:40:44,960 --> 00:40:47,960 Thank you so much. 586 00:40:47,960 --> 00:40:53,160 You are relentless in your pursuit of our hearts. 587 00:40:53,160 --> 00:40:59,160 Thank you that you do not just leave us where we are, that you have offered and continually 588 00:40:59,160 --> 00:41:04,440 offer something better for us, that your design is perfect. 589 00:41:04,440 --> 00:41:10,280 So God, I pray that you would help us to trust that design, that you would help us to trust 590 00:41:10,280 --> 00:41:12,000 you and your plan for us, Lord. 591 00:41:12,000 --> 00:41:15,640 And God, I just pray over this church and the marriages of this church, Father, I pray 592 00:41:15,640 --> 00:41:18,840 that the enemy would have no place here. 593 00:41:18,840 --> 00:41:24,600 In the name of Jesus, I just pray that you would sanctify our marriages, Lord, that they 594 00:41:24,600 --> 00:41:26,640 would be for your glory. 595 00:41:26,640 --> 00:41:31,240 God, I pray that all of our relationships, all of our lives would be lived for your glory, 596 00:41:31,240 --> 00:41:37,160 that it would not be about us, God, that you would sanctify our hearts, that we would have 597 00:41:37,160 --> 00:41:44,400 a desire that would be one with you and our purpose to bring glory to your name. 598 00:41:44,400 --> 00:41:46,400 I ask this in Jesus' holy name. 599 00:41:46,400 --> 00:41:47,400 Amen. 600 00:41:47,400 --> 00:42:04,400 Thank you.