1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:29,800
If you have your Bibles Ephesians chapter 6, after today,

2
00:00:29,800 --> 00:00:36,040
here in just a little while, we can officially say that we went through every verse of Ephesians.

3
00:00:36,040 --> 00:00:41,880
That's something that we should be proud of, right? I saved this verse because I knew the

4
00:00:41,880 --> 00:00:48,240
timeline of how we broke it down would fall on Father's Day and since it has to do with parenting,

5
00:00:48,240 --> 00:00:54,840
I figured why not? Before we go any further this morning, let me offer you a few words of encouragement.

6
00:00:54,840 --> 00:01:01,280
My purpose this morning is not to make those of us who are parents feel guilty.

7
00:01:01,280 --> 00:01:09,160
I think most of us carry around enough guilt because of the times that we have fallen short as parents.

8
00:01:09,160 --> 00:01:15,360
There really aren't many examples of successful fathers in the Bible, believe it or not.

9
00:01:15,360 --> 00:01:21,240
And even if we do a pretty good job as parents, there's no guarantee that our kids will not go astray.

10
00:01:21,240 --> 00:01:27,440
To prove that, all we have to do is go back to the very first parents in the Bible, Adam and Eve.

11
00:01:27,440 --> 00:01:33,320
Although they were sinful just like us, they had a lot of advantages as parents that none of us have ever had.

12
00:01:33,320 --> 00:01:42,760
They certainly didn't have the culture that we're fighting against. They were the culture. That was it, right?

13
00:01:42,760 --> 00:01:52,520
And in spite of their sin, they still knew God and they still had experienced intimate relationship with Him.

14
00:01:52,520 --> 00:01:59,320
There is every reason to believe that they had raised their children to follow and honor God,

15
00:01:59,320 --> 00:02:03,840
and yet their firstborn son became a murderer.

16
00:02:03,840 --> 00:02:10,560
But the Bible makes it clear that was not the parents' fault. He did it because of His own evil heart.

17
00:02:10,560 --> 00:02:14,520
So that's where our starting point is this morning. Our passage this morning is one verse.

18
00:02:14,520 --> 00:02:22,240
If you just sit forward, I encourage you to stand as we read it. I'm going to read it in context, so we'll read the first four verses together.

19
00:02:22,240 --> 00:02:27,640
None of the youth are here. Well, I guess some are, but we didn't plan on it, so I'm just going to read it today.

20
00:02:27,640 --> 00:02:32,200
Starting in verse one, children, obey your parents and the Lord, for this is right.

21
00:02:32,200 --> 00:02:38,560
Honor your father and mother. This is the first commandment with a promise that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.

22
00:02:38,560 --> 00:02:46,560
Here's our verse. Here it goes. Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

23
00:02:46,560 --> 00:02:57,440
Let's pray. Father, as we look at this text, not just as fathers, but as parents, as Christ's followers, I pray that your spirit will just move in this place.

24
00:02:57,440 --> 00:03:03,920
Help us see your heart in this. We ask all these things in your name. Amen. Amen, amen.

25
00:03:03,920 --> 00:03:12,800
Now, ultimately, no matter how well we do as parents, our children bear the ultimate responsibility for their own actions.

26
00:03:12,800 --> 00:03:20,640
So there's no guarantee that even if we don't anger them and even if we bring them up in training and instruction of the Lord,

27
00:03:20,640 --> 00:03:26,200
they will live the kinds of lives before God that we hope and pray for. There's no guarantees in that.

28
00:03:26,200 --> 00:03:36,280
On the other hand, there are some principles that we can apply that will provide a much higher likelihood that our children will become Christ's followers

29
00:03:36,280 --> 00:03:39,720
who will live a life that is pleasing to him and bring joy to us.

30
00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:51,560
Unfortunately, in our culture, we have many generations who have grown up without the kind of godly role models that Paul envisions in this letter.

31
00:03:51,560 --> 00:04:03,320
But we have a responsibility as part of the body of Christ to do our part to end that downward spiral and raise up a generation of fathers of men

32
00:04:03,320 --> 00:04:14,600
who can become the kinds of role models that will begin to provide a legacy of godly fathering that can be passed on from generation to generation.

33
00:04:14,600 --> 00:04:27,080
So it's all up to us to understand these principles and do what we can to help the parents in our body to apply these principles to their families.

34
00:04:27,080 --> 00:04:35,160
You'll notice that just as Paul does in this verse, I've addressed much of what I said so far to fathers, right?

35
00:04:35,160 --> 00:04:43,480
But obviously, the responsibility of raising godly children is a team effort. It involves both parents. It involves the church.

36
00:04:43,480 --> 00:04:54,360
The word that is translated fathers here in verse 4 is used in other places in the New Testament, and when it's used in other places in the New Testament, it refers to both parents.

37
00:04:54,360 --> 00:05:03,000
For instance, Hebrews 11-23, the same word is translated parents when speaking of how Moses was hidden by his parents at birth.

38
00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:11,160
However, in the context of Ephesians 6, Paul has already used the common word for parents back in verse 1 and could have used it again here,

39
00:05:11,160 --> 00:05:14,760
had he intended to address both fathers and mothers.

40
00:05:14,760 --> 00:05:26,280
But on the other hand, other Bible passages, especially many in Proverbs, make it clear that both parents are responsible for developing, disciplining and teaching their children.

41
00:05:26,280 --> 00:05:32,760
Now, I think Paul addresses the fathers in particular here for a couple reasons.

42
00:05:32,760 --> 00:05:40,520
We've already seen that at the end of chapter 5, a few months ago, that God has established the man as the head of the household.

43
00:05:40,520 --> 00:05:49,320
That is true in his relationship with his wife, his spouse, and it holds true to his relationship with his children.

44
00:05:49,320 --> 00:06:00,120
So even though both parents have an essential role in raising up children, there is a sense in which the father bears the overall responsibility for that process.

45
00:06:00,120 --> 00:06:08,200
The other reason Paul writes to fathers is that we have a tendency to abandon our responsibilities in training and teaching our children

46
00:06:08,200 --> 00:06:13,080
and to expect our wives to handle those types of responsibilities.

47
00:06:13,080 --> 00:06:25,240
So Paul wants to make sure that the fathers understand, that you and I understand, that this is not a responsibility that we can just pass off onto our wives.

48
00:06:25,240 --> 00:06:35,160
This verse is another one of those that seems simple on the surface, and it is so profound and so difficult to apply and put in practice.

49
00:06:35,160 --> 00:06:40,360
Now, Paul gives the readers two commands here, one negative and one positive.

50
00:06:40,360 --> 00:06:46,920
So this morning we're going to spend our time discovering a few methods that can lead our children to anger.

51
00:06:46,920 --> 00:06:53,640
Although Paul directs this command directly to fathers, and as we've seen indirectly to mothers as well,

52
00:06:53,640 --> 00:07:00,680
I think that much of that all of us can learn here can be applied to all of our relationships.

53
00:07:00,680 --> 00:07:10,600
As we develop some principles that will allow us to avoid exasperating our children, we will find that those same principles can be applied at home.

54
00:07:10,600 --> 00:07:15,640
It can be applied in the workplace, in the community, and even within this body of the church.

55
00:07:15,640 --> 00:07:25,480
Now, I've seen a lot of people who have taken this verse over the years, and they use it as a reason to never make their kids angry.

56
00:07:25,480 --> 00:07:30,760
So in turn they give their children whatever they want, so their kids do not become angry.

57
00:07:30,760 --> 00:07:35,800
And what ends up happening is the children ends up running the household.

58
00:07:35,800 --> 00:07:42,600
So right out of the gate, I want you to hear this verse is not saying, don't ever anger your children.

59
00:07:42,600 --> 00:07:49,720
The same word that Paul uses here in Ephesians is the same word he uses in Colossians when he writes,

60
00:07:49,720 --> 00:07:55,080
fathers do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.

61
00:07:55,080 --> 00:08:05,480
The verse from Colossians gives us some additional insight into why parents must guard against exasperating or angering or embittering their children.

62
00:08:05,480 --> 00:08:09,480
Because those actions discourage their children.

63
00:08:09,480 --> 00:08:19,240
They break the spirit of the child, and the end result is that the most powerful motive of obedience, which is to please, is taken from our children.

64
00:08:19,240 --> 00:08:27,640
In much the same way that honoring our parents involves two separate, but essentially equal elements,

65
00:08:27,640 --> 00:08:34,680
right attitude and right behavior if you're here for that sermon, exasperating our children's stems from two related sources.

66
00:08:34,680 --> 00:08:38,760
The first being a wrong spirit.

67
00:08:38,760 --> 00:08:44,200
It is quite easy to disciple our children to become godless tyrants.

68
00:08:44,200 --> 00:08:45,880
That's easy.

69
00:08:45,880 --> 00:08:46,840
That's a piece of cake.

70
00:08:46,840 --> 00:08:48,440
We can do that all day long.

71
00:08:48,440 --> 00:08:51,000
That that was certainly true in Paul's culture.

72
00:08:51,000 --> 00:08:56,920
That the Gentile believers were strongly influenced by the Roman law.

73
00:08:56,920 --> 00:09:00,840
And that Roman law was called patria potesis.

74
00:09:00,840 --> 00:09:04,840
It literally meant the father's power.

75
00:09:04,840 --> 00:09:10,600
This particular law allowed the father to have absolute power over his family.

76
00:09:10,600 --> 00:09:13,800
He could sell them all as slaves as he wanted to.

77
00:09:13,800 --> 00:09:16,120
He could make them work in the fields and chains.

78
00:09:16,120 --> 00:09:24,440
And he could even take the law into his own hands and punish any member of his family as severely as he wanted,

79
00:09:24,440 --> 00:09:28,520
even to the point of inflicting the death penalty.

80
00:09:28,520 --> 00:09:31,160
And he had that power as long as he lived.

81
00:09:31,160 --> 00:09:32,600
Can you imagine that?

82
00:09:32,600 --> 00:09:34,040
As long as he lived.

83
00:09:34,040 --> 00:09:37,480
The Jewish culture of the time wasn't much different.

84
00:09:37,480 --> 00:09:42,120
Jewish fathers also ruled their families in a very rigid,

85
00:09:42,120 --> 00:09:48,920
endominary manner with little concern for the welfare of his wife and children.

86
00:09:48,920 --> 00:09:54,680
Where we moved from, there was a heavy Mennonite population.

87
00:09:54,680 --> 00:09:59,400
Most of them are great workers, but there are so many broken families in that culture.

88
00:09:59,400 --> 00:10:03,560
For a lot of them, they'll take their kids out of school at third grade,

89
00:10:03,560 --> 00:10:06,360
and they'll put them to work right away.

90
00:10:06,360 --> 00:10:11,800
So you will see 10-year-olds driving these massive tractors down the highway.

91
00:10:11,800 --> 00:10:13,640
Because that's what's expected of them.

92
00:10:13,640 --> 00:10:17,400
One conversation I had with one Mennonite one day was basically,

93
00:10:17,400 --> 00:10:24,520
we have children so that we can lighten our load and so that they can then provide for our family.

94
00:10:24,520 --> 00:10:29,320
And I was around them a lot, and I'm going to tell you, there's not a lot of life in that.

95
00:10:29,320 --> 00:10:32,360
In fact, there's a lot of bitterness that comes from that.

96
00:10:32,360 --> 00:10:39,240
If you view your children as a reflection of you, that's the wrong spirit.

97
00:10:39,240 --> 00:10:46,440
If you are raising your children to be the athlete that you never were, that's the wrong spirit.

98
00:10:46,440 --> 00:10:53,640
We need to raise our children with the understanding that they are accepted because they are ours.

99
00:10:53,640 --> 00:10:55,320
Because they're our children.

100
00:10:55,320 --> 00:10:58,120
Because God gave them to us.

101
00:10:58,120 --> 00:11:03,160
Not that they are accepted because they behave a certain way.

102
00:11:03,160 --> 00:11:05,320
Or they contribute a certain amount.

103
00:11:05,320 --> 00:11:08,040
Or they achieve these really great things.

104
00:11:08,040 --> 00:11:10,120
We need to have the right spirit.

105
00:11:10,120 --> 00:11:17,080
Next, we can cause our children to grow bitter and angry if we use the wrong methods.

106
00:11:17,080 --> 00:11:19,480
And that can look a variety of different ways.

107
00:11:19,480 --> 00:11:20,760
We'll look at a few real quick.

108
00:11:20,760 --> 00:11:23,080
The first one being no standards.

109
00:11:23,080 --> 00:11:25,480
No standards.

110
00:11:25,480 --> 00:11:30,600
Although our children may complain about not having enough freedom,

111
00:11:30,600 --> 00:11:36,280
a lack of standards actually makes our children feel unsecure and unloved.

112
00:11:36,280 --> 00:11:39,400
I'll use Pastor Stephens' example. Don't tell him I'm using it.

113
00:11:39,400 --> 00:11:41,800
Because it's a great illustration.

114
00:11:41,800 --> 00:11:49,080
When we were teaching our kids to swim, they'd be standing on the edge of the pool.

115
00:11:49,080 --> 00:11:51,480
And we'd be telling them to jump into the water.

116
00:11:51,480 --> 00:11:52,120
Right?

117
00:11:52,120 --> 00:11:55,640
And so I'm sitting there standing in the water about waist deep.

118
00:11:55,640 --> 00:11:57,960
And I'm telling my children, jump to me.

119
00:11:57,960 --> 00:11:58,920
Jump to me.

120
00:11:58,920 --> 00:11:59,400
And they did.

121
00:11:59,400 --> 00:12:00,680
They would jump to me.

122
00:12:00,680 --> 00:12:02,520
They knew that I would catch them.

123
00:12:02,520 --> 00:12:06,760
And we'd do that several times so they felt more comfortable till they were doing it faster.

124
00:12:06,760 --> 00:12:09,240
And then I would say, okay, I want you to jump in the water,

125
00:12:09,240 --> 00:12:11,240
but I'm not going to catch you this time.

126
00:12:12,600 --> 00:12:16,120
And when you get in the water, I want you to swim to the edge.

127
00:12:16,120 --> 00:12:17,560
About one to two feet away.

128
00:12:17,560 --> 00:12:19,000
I want you to swim to the edge.

129
00:12:19,000 --> 00:12:25,320
And so they'd jump into the water and I'd kind of turn them around and then they would swim to the edge.

130
00:12:25,320 --> 00:12:27,640
They knew where the boundaries were.

131
00:12:27,640 --> 00:12:31,400
Now, we wouldn't use those methods in the middle of the lake.

132
00:12:31,400 --> 00:12:33,720
We wouldn't use those methods in the middle of the ocean.

133
00:12:33,720 --> 00:12:35,400
That would cause panic.

134
00:12:35,400 --> 00:12:40,120
There were some dangers there that we can't see that's underneath the water.

135
00:12:40,120 --> 00:12:45,880
It would have been reckless for us to drop them in the water without any boundaries.

136
00:12:45,880 --> 00:12:51,000
More freedom for a child is not always the best thing.

137
00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:55,320
In his book, Christian Child Rearing and Personality Development,

138
00:12:55,320 --> 00:13:00,920
Dr. Paul Meyer described five keys to write parent-child relationships.

139
00:13:00,920 --> 00:13:04,840
One of those five keys was consistency.

140
00:13:04,840 --> 00:13:07,480
And Dr. Meyer made this observation.

141
00:13:07,480 --> 00:13:13,000
Both parents should stick together using the same rules and consistently enforcing those rules

142
00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:16,760
so that what a child gets away with on some occasions

143
00:13:17,400 --> 00:13:20,280
is not the cause for what he has punished another time.

144
00:13:20,280 --> 00:13:22,440
So if we want to avoid,

145
00:13:22,440 --> 00:13:28,760
exasperating our children, both parents need to establish appropriate standards

146
00:13:28,760 --> 00:13:31,400
that can be consistently applied.

147
00:13:32,760 --> 00:13:36,040
Another method that could anger your children is no trust.

148
00:13:37,320 --> 00:13:40,760
This generally results when we go to the other extreme

149
00:13:40,760 --> 00:13:47,800
and we set up a bunch of arbitrary, overly strict rules that we enforce with an iron fist.

150
00:13:47,800 --> 00:13:50,120
We have a responsibility to do that.

151
00:13:50,120 --> 00:13:55,160
We have a responsibility to protect our children appropriately.

152
00:13:55,160 --> 00:13:58,840
But when we carry out that duty too far,

153
00:13:58,840 --> 00:14:01,240
it communicates a lack of trust.

154
00:14:01,240 --> 00:14:03,800
A familiar verse gives us some help here.

155
00:14:03,800 --> 00:14:04,920
Proverbs 22,

156
00:14:04,920 --> 00:14:07,080
Train a child in the way he should go,

157
00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:09,640
and when he is old, he will not turn from it.

158
00:14:09,640 --> 00:14:17,320
Our ultimate goal as parents is to prepare our children to face the world as adults someday.

159
00:14:17,320 --> 00:14:22,680
And when we fail to give them appropriate liberty as they get older,

160
00:14:22,680 --> 00:14:26,600
we are really communicating to them that we don't trust them,

161
00:14:26,600 --> 00:14:29,480
and that in turn is going to anger our children.

162
00:14:29,480 --> 00:14:32,280
So again, we need to put up boundaries.

163
00:14:33,160 --> 00:14:35,240
They need to know where the boundaries are,

164
00:14:35,240 --> 00:14:38,760
but once we do that, we trust them in those boundaries.

165
00:14:38,760 --> 00:14:42,520
And as they get older and as they become closer to adulthood,

166
00:14:42,520 --> 00:14:44,520
those boundaries begin to widen.

167
00:14:44,520 --> 00:14:47,320
We need to trust our children.

168
00:14:47,320 --> 00:14:51,160
The third method of angering our children is not listening.

169
00:14:51,160 --> 00:14:52,520
Not listening.

170
00:14:52,520 --> 00:14:55,960
When we fail to listen to our children,

171
00:14:55,960 --> 00:14:59,880
they become convinced that they are not very important to us.

172
00:15:01,880 --> 00:15:05,880
And then we begin to wonder why they withdraw,

173
00:15:05,880 --> 00:15:11,080
and why they give up trying to communicate with us.

174
00:15:11,080 --> 00:15:14,520
We need to practice these words that are written in James.

175
00:15:14,520 --> 00:15:16,120
My dear brothers, take note of this.

176
00:15:16,120 --> 00:15:20,520
Everybody should be quick to listen and slow to speak.

177
00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:25,320
Now, I'm sure we all know someone that we've had a conversation with

178
00:15:25,320 --> 00:15:28,840
that has checked out when we try and talk with them.

179
00:15:28,840 --> 00:15:32,520
Like, you can see their mind moving.

180
00:15:32,520 --> 00:15:35,160
You can see their eyes are all over the place,

181
00:15:35,160 --> 00:15:37,880
and then they begin to respond with one word answers.

182
00:15:37,880 --> 00:15:41,240
We know people like that, right?

183
00:15:41,240 --> 00:15:44,680
After a few times, you stop wanting to talk to that person

184
00:15:44,680 --> 00:15:48,680
because they've made you feel that you're not important to them.

185
00:15:48,680 --> 00:15:53,880
And so why waste your breath on somebody that doesn't care what you have to say?

186
00:15:53,880 --> 00:15:56,840
Because they don't care what you have to say.

187
00:15:56,840 --> 00:16:00,280
Why would we believe that children are any different?

188
00:16:00,280 --> 00:16:03,480
When we are consumed with our phones,

189
00:16:03,480 --> 00:16:08,120
when we turn up the TV louder so we don't have to hear them,

190
00:16:08,120 --> 00:16:11,720
or we fail to look them in the eyes when they're talking to us,

191
00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:17,480
we are communicating to them that what they have to say is unimportant.

192
00:16:17,480 --> 00:16:20,280
So when they have something important to say,

193
00:16:20,280 --> 00:16:23,720
they don't want to say it to us as parents.

194
00:16:23,720 --> 00:16:26,920
They'd rather say it to somebody that has shown them

195
00:16:26,920 --> 00:16:29,480
that they value what they want to communicate.

196
00:16:29,480 --> 00:16:33,480
And believe me, I know this is hard,

197
00:16:33,480 --> 00:16:37,480
especially when our kids are certain ages and they talk nonstop

198
00:16:37,480 --> 00:16:40,440
and we just need some peace and quiet.

199
00:16:40,440 --> 00:16:43,480
My wife does a much better job at this than I do.

200
00:16:43,480 --> 00:16:47,480
When she needs some space, and we all need space from time to time, right?

201
00:16:47,480 --> 00:16:50,440
When she needs some space, she will communicate to our children,

202
00:16:50,440 --> 00:16:52,440
hey, I need some space.

203
00:16:52,440 --> 00:16:55,480
I'm going to go to my room, I'm going to spend a few minutes in quiet,

204
00:16:55,480 --> 00:16:56,440
I'm going to collect my thoughts.

205
00:16:56,440 --> 00:16:59,480
I really want to know what you have to say,

206
00:16:59,480 --> 00:17:03,480
but I'm going to need to take some time so that I can give you my full attention.

207
00:17:03,480 --> 00:17:05,480
What a great line, isn't that?

208
00:17:05,480 --> 00:17:08,440
I care what you have to say,

209
00:17:08,440 --> 00:17:12,440
but I need to go get my mind right so I can give you my full attention.

210
00:17:12,440 --> 00:17:15,480
And here's what we've learned, especially when they were younger.

211
00:17:15,480 --> 00:17:17,480
They usually forget what they want to say.

212
00:17:17,480 --> 00:17:19,480
Right?

213
00:17:19,480 --> 00:17:23,480
But we've still communicated to them that we value what they have to say.

214
00:17:23,480 --> 00:17:27,480
Finally, the last method of angering our children is hypocrisy.

215
00:17:27,480 --> 00:17:29,480
Hypocrisy.

216
00:17:29,480 --> 00:17:37,480
In families, in healthy families, the parents don't expect the children to live up to certain standards they themselves don't keep.

217
00:17:37,480 --> 00:17:45,480
Parents should expect their children to live up to the standards that they themselves observe.

218
00:17:45,480 --> 00:17:51,480
Our children are looking at us to be the kinds of role models that they can follow.

219
00:17:51,480 --> 00:17:55,480
I'm reminded of a woman who invited some people over to dinner.

220
00:17:55,480 --> 00:17:57,480
At the table, she turned to her six-year-old daughter and she said,

221
00:17:57,480 --> 00:18:00,480
Honey, would you like to say the blessing?

222
00:18:00,480 --> 00:18:03,480
Well, I don't know what I would say, the girl replied.

223
00:18:03,480 --> 00:18:07,480
Well, just say what I would say, the mom told her.

224
00:18:07,480 --> 00:18:09,480
The little girl bowed her head and said,

225
00:18:09,480 --> 00:18:17,480
Dear Lord, why on earth did I invite these people to dinner?

226
00:18:17,480 --> 00:18:24,480
I'm convinced that our children can spot hypocrisy a lot better than any one of us.

227
00:18:24,480 --> 00:18:35,480
That doesn't mean, however, that we can't honestly admit our mistakes and explain to our children that we were wrong and that we would not choose to do it that way if we could go back.

228
00:18:35,480 --> 00:18:43,480
Healthy families don't live with the mantra, do as I say, not as I do.

229
00:18:43,480 --> 00:18:50,480
That creates confusion, creates bitterness.

230
00:18:50,480 --> 00:18:59,480
If we are telling our kids to be nice to others but they don't see us do that, that's hypocrisy.

231
00:18:59,480 --> 00:19:06,480
If we're telling our kids to work hard but we don't do that, that is hypocrisy.

232
00:19:06,480 --> 00:19:17,480
If we are telling our children to walk with Jesus but they don't see any evidence of that at home, they are not going to follow Jesus.

233
00:19:17,480 --> 00:19:21,480
But if you notice this verse, there's two commands.

234
00:19:21,480 --> 00:19:26,480
So we don't want to anger our children by the methods that we just went over.

235
00:19:26,480 --> 00:19:31,480
Instead, we want to bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

236
00:19:31,480 --> 00:19:38,480
Paul contrasts the idea of angering our children with bringing them up in the instruction and discipline of the Lord.

237
00:19:38,480 --> 00:19:49,480
In fact, that word of contrast seems to indicate that training and instructing our children and the Lord is the primary way that we avoid angering them.

238
00:19:49,480 --> 00:19:59,480
That certainly would be consistent with our discussion on how a lack of consistent standards is one of the primary ways that we exasperate our children.

239
00:19:59,480 --> 00:20:08,480
As parents, if we want to train our children up in the Lord, it has to start with our own personal relationship with Him.

240
00:20:08,480 --> 00:20:19,480
All the training and instruction that we give to our children is to be done in the framework of our relationship with Jesus.

241
00:20:19,480 --> 00:20:22,480
Moses helps us when he writes in Deuteronomy 6.

242
00:20:22,480 --> 00:20:26,480
He says, in these words that I command you today shall be on your heart.

243
00:20:26,480 --> 00:20:33,480
You shall teach them diligently to your children and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way.

244
00:20:33,480 --> 00:20:41,480
And when you lie down and when you rise, you shall bind them as a sign on your hand and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes.

245
00:20:41,480 --> 00:20:45,480
You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

246
00:20:45,480 --> 00:20:58,480
Moses is addressing the parents primarily to the fathers and he very clearly makes the point that the first step in passing the baton of faith to our children is that,

247
00:20:58,480 --> 00:21:01,480
is the first issue we must deal with our own relationship.

248
00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:07,480
The issue with our relationship with God has to be settled in our lives if we want to pass on our faith.

249
00:21:07,480 --> 00:21:18,480
There is no way that fathers can bring their children up in the training and instruction of the Lord unless they first have a vibrant growing relationship with Him.

250
00:21:18,480 --> 00:21:24,480
God must be, it comes from saturating our lives with His Word.

251
00:21:24,480 --> 00:21:27,480
It comes from spending time with Him in prayer.

252
00:21:27,480 --> 00:21:30,480
It comes from coming and worshiping Him in this place.

253
00:21:30,480 --> 00:21:42,480
We have nothing left to pass on to future generations that have any sort of value if we as fathers don't have a vibrant relationship with the Lord.

254
00:21:42,480 --> 00:21:46,480
We also need to have a long term view of the process.

255
00:21:46,480 --> 00:21:53,480
The word that Paul uses here in verse 4, that means to nourish up to maturity.

256
00:21:53,480 --> 00:22:04,480
It's the same word he uses in Ephesians 5-29 where he describes how husbands are to care for their wives in the same way they care for their own bodies.

257
00:22:04,480 --> 00:22:13,480
The word itself as well as the fact that it's a present tense command makes it clear that this is a long term process.

258
00:22:13,480 --> 00:22:19,480
It's very similar to the way that we nourish and care for our physical bodies.

259
00:22:19,480 --> 00:22:25,480
I can't eat just one big meal and then never eat again.

260
00:22:25,480 --> 00:22:32,480
I have to continue to feed my body day after day for my entire life.

261
00:22:32,480 --> 00:22:37,480
Or if I want to get in shape, I don't just go exercise once.

262
00:22:37,480 --> 00:22:44,480
I have to have a consistent schedule of exercise in order to maintain and improve my physical condition.

263
00:22:44,480 --> 00:22:49,480
So we need to take a long term view of this process.

264
00:22:49,480 --> 00:22:57,480
The Jews certainly understood that Moses' instructions in Deuteronomy was to be a lifelong process, not just a flash in the pan.

265
00:22:57,480 --> 00:23:05,480
The process of training and instructing our children is much more like a marathon than it is a hundred yard dash.

266
00:23:05,480 --> 00:23:12,480
If we don't have that mindset in mind from the beginning, we're going to wear ourselves out at the start

267
00:23:12,480 --> 00:23:15,480
and we're never going to make it to the finish line.

268
00:23:15,480 --> 00:23:25,480
The Jews were very successful at making religious training an integral part of life and not just an add-on.

269
00:23:25,480 --> 00:23:38,480
Their approach as we see from this passage in Deuteronomy was to make religious training life-oriented rather than information-oriented.

270
00:23:38,480 --> 00:23:46,480
Their philosophy was if you want your children to follow God, then you must make God a part of your everyday experiences

271
00:23:46,480 --> 00:23:52,480
from the time you rise up in the morning until you lay your head down to sleep at night.

272
00:23:52,480 --> 00:24:00,480
Their approach was exactly the opposite of the compartmentalized approach that we often employ today

273
00:24:00,480 --> 00:24:06,480
where we separate our lives into the spiritual and the secular.

274
00:24:06,480 --> 00:24:15,480
Instead, we need to understand and then help our children see that everything in life is connected to God in some way.

275
00:24:15,480 --> 00:24:21,480
Everything in life is connected to God in some way. Jesus was a master at this.

276
00:24:21,480 --> 00:24:26,480
He was constantly drawing lessons from the things and the people around him.

277
00:24:26,480 --> 00:24:34,480
He walked through a vineyard and he explained how he was divine and how his followers were the branches.

278
00:24:34,480 --> 00:24:40,480
He walked through a field and explains that a man reaps what he sows.

279
00:24:40,480 --> 00:24:46,480
He used examples of sheep and pigs and wolves to illustrate truth.

280
00:24:46,480 --> 00:24:55,480
Jesus helped his followers to see that everything around them could be used to learn something about God.

281
00:24:55,480 --> 00:25:01,480
As parents, we are passing our baton of faith onto our children.

282
00:25:01,480 --> 00:25:10,480
I know I don t look like it, but I know very little about track.

283
00:25:10,480 --> 00:25:18,480
When I was growing up in school, we had PE, and we would pretty often have track.

284
00:25:18,480 --> 00:25:30,480
What I learned about track is you could have a relay team with the fastest runners and still lose the race.

285
00:25:30,480 --> 00:25:36,480
That team, they relied on their own ability to win instead of the team.

286
00:25:36,480 --> 00:25:46,480
Because when it came time for the handoff of the baton to the next runner, they were never in sync and they often dropped it.

287
00:25:46,480 --> 00:25:53,480
But the teams that were in sync, even though they weren t the fastest, they usually won the race.

288
00:25:53,480 --> 00:26:00,480
They would know how to time the handoff. They would communicate with each other.

289
00:26:00,480 --> 00:26:05,480
They would get in step with the runner that was behind them.

290
00:26:05,480 --> 00:26:10,480
They would have the seamless exchange of the baton.

291
00:26:10,480 --> 00:26:18,480
Just as the winner of a relay race often depends much more on the baton exchanges than how fast the individual runners are.

292
00:26:18,480 --> 00:26:28,480
Our success as parents is usually determined not by how smart we are, not by how spiritual we are,

293
00:26:28,480 --> 00:26:38,480
but rather how effective are we at applying these principles in order to pass on the baton of faith to the next generation.

294
00:26:38,480 --> 00:26:43,480
That obviously must begin with my own relationship with Jesus.

295
00:26:43,480 --> 00:26:50,480
The key there is understanding that I haven t arrived. I haven t arrived on my spiritual journey,

296
00:26:50,480 --> 00:26:57,480
but rather I have a heart for the things of God. I m continuing to grow. I m continuing to learn.

297
00:26:57,480 --> 00:27:03,480
I must realize that training and instruction of my own children is a marathon.

298
00:27:03,480 --> 00:27:07,480
It s not going to happen overnight.

299
00:27:07,480 --> 00:27:12,480
I must train my children in a manner that is appropriate with each individual child.

300
00:27:12,480 --> 00:27:17,480
We have to use the word of God as we do that. We have to see God around us in everything we do

301
00:27:17,480 --> 00:27:20,480
and point our children to those things.

302
00:27:20,480 --> 00:27:25,480
And here s what I ve learned over the years. I hope this is encouragement to so many of you.

303
00:27:25,480 --> 00:27:30,480
It s not too late to start. It s not too late to start.

304
00:27:30,480 --> 00:27:38,480
I have seen the Lord do amazing things over my ministry with parents who are in their 60s,

305
00:27:38,480 --> 00:27:44,480
with children in their 30s. It s not too late to start.

306
00:27:44,480 --> 00:27:53,480
Lay these things before Him and trust that He can continue to use you in spite of your past mistakes.

307
00:27:53,480 --> 00:28:04,480
Fathers, do not anger your children, but raise them up in the instruction and discipline of the Lord.

308
00:28:04,480 --> 00:28:12,480
Father, I pray right now for every heart of every parent in this place.

309
00:28:12,480 --> 00:28:17,480
And help us see that your way is the right way.

310
00:28:17,480 --> 00:28:24,480
Help us see that you can continue to change hearts. You can continue to develop relationships.

311
00:28:24,480 --> 00:28:29,480
Father, I pray that from so many of us, today is the starting line.

312
00:28:29,480 --> 00:28:38,480
Today s the starting line on a long journey, Father, and I pray that you give us the power to finish it well.

313
00:28:38,480 --> 00:28:48,480
I pray, Father, that as we hand the baton to the next generation, that that transition will be seamless.

314
00:28:48,480 --> 00:28:55,480
I pray, Father, that you empower us with your spirit to be the best parents, the best leaders that we can be.

315
00:28:55,480 --> 00:29:03,480
Help us do everything we do to honor you. Help us lead our children to salvation.

316
00:29:03,480 --> 00:29:13,480
Father, I pray that you will just continuously remind us that it s not up to us.

317
00:29:13,480 --> 00:29:16,480
It s up to you.

318
00:29:16,480 --> 00:29:26,480
I pray that you will use this time to speak and minister to our hearts. We ask all these things in your name. Amen.

319
00:29:46,480 --> 00:29:57,480
Well, here and now I draw a boundary against every weapon that s formed.

320
00:29:57,480 --> 00:30:15,480
The thief and his plans will pass over when he sees the red on the door. I plead the blood.

321
00:30:15,480 --> 00:30:17,480
I declare it today.

322
00:30:17,480 --> 00:30:27,480
The enemy can t take my family, because this home belongs to the Lord.

323
00:30:27,480 --> 00:30:36,480
So I m not afraid to remind him that he has no claim in this war.

324
00:30:36,480 --> 00:30:46,480
I plead the blood. I plead the blood of Jesus.

325
00:30:46,480 --> 00:30:57,480
I plead the blood. I plead the blood of Jesus.

326
00:30:57,480 --> 00:31:08,480
My future is glory to glory. My freedom has been purchased in full.

327
00:31:08,480 --> 00:31:17,480
For all of the weight of his suffering, the Lamb will receive his reward.

328
00:31:17,480 --> 00:31:27,480
I plead the blood. I plead the blood of Jesus.

329
00:31:27,480 --> 00:31:37,480
It s more than enough. I plead the blood of Jesus.

330
00:31:37,480 --> 00:31:48,480
My shield and my shelter, it s my defense. I claim it over and over again.

331
00:31:48,480 --> 00:32:08,480
I plead the blood. I plead the blood of Jesus.

332
00:32:08,480 --> 00:32:20,480
I plead the blood. I plead the blood.

333
00:32:20,480 --> 00:32:30,480
What can wash away my sin? Nothing but the blood. Nothing but the blood.

334
00:32:30,480 --> 00:32:40,480
What can make me whole again? Nothing but the blood. Nothing but the blood.

335
00:32:40,480 --> 00:32:50,480
Nothing can force in a tone. Nothing but the blood. Nothing but the blood.

336
00:32:50,480 --> 00:33:00,480
Nothing good that I have done. Nothing but the blood. Nothing but the blood.

337
00:33:00,480 --> 00:33:10,480
This is all my hope and peace. Nothing but the blood. Nothing but the blood.

338
00:33:10,480 --> 00:33:24,480
For my future, this I plead. Nothing but the blood. I plead the blood.

339
00:33:24,480 --> 00:33:34,480
I plead the blood of Jesus. It s more than enough.

340
00:33:34,480 --> 00:33:44,480
I plead the blood of Jesus. My shield and my shelter, it s my defense.

341
00:33:44,480 --> 00:33:54,480
I claim it over and over again. My shield and my shelter, it s my defense.

342
00:33:54,480 --> 00:34:04,480
I claim it over and over again. My shield and my shelter, it s my defense.

343
00:34:04,480 --> 00:34:20,480
I claim it over and over again. I plead the blood. I plead the blood of Jesus.

344
00:34:20,480 --> 00:34:32,480
I plead the blood. I plead the blood of Jesus.

345
00:34:32,480 --> 00:34:42,480
Amen. Amen.

346
00:34:42,480 --> 00:34:46,480
I m going to invite Bucky up here to close out our service this morning.

347
00:34:46,480 --> 00:34:56,480
Father s day. I love to worship you with you all in this place.

348
00:34:56,480 --> 00:35:04,480
This word is for every male in this house.

349
00:35:04,480 --> 00:35:13,480
I have called you from your mother s womb to be a man.

350
00:35:13,480 --> 00:35:31,480
Your masculinity is a gift from me. It is not toxic, but I give it to accomplish the things which I please.

351
00:35:31,480 --> 00:35:42,480
I have called you to lead. I have ordained you to lead your family, to lead your community,

352
00:35:42,480 --> 00:35:48,480
to lead at work, to lead wherever you go.

353
00:35:48,480 --> 00:36:00,480
I have given you influence. Your influence is a gift to accomplish what I please.

354
00:36:00,480 --> 00:36:07,480
Use it on my behalf. I am for you, not against you.

355
00:36:07,480 --> 00:36:13,480
I greatly desire for you to succeed.

356
00:36:13,480 --> 00:36:19,480
You are my anointed.

357
00:36:19,480 --> 00:36:30,480
You are kings. You are priests. And for you young men, your day is coming when you will lead.

358
00:36:30,480 --> 00:36:36,480
Watch those who do it well today.

359
00:36:36,480 --> 00:36:40,480
For your two steps behind them.

360
00:36:40,480 --> 00:36:50,480
And they will hand the baton to you. And you will lead your family. You will lead your children.

361
00:36:50,480 --> 00:36:56,480
By this my kingdom will increase.

362
00:36:56,480 --> 00:37:00,480
I love you, men.

363
00:37:00,480 --> 00:37:03,480
Receive that in Jesus' name.

364
00:37:03,480 --> 00:37:08,480
Amen. Get your donuts quick. Receive that. Amen.

365
00:37:33,480 --> 00:37:42,480
Jesus' name, we pray.

366
00:37:42,480 --> 00:37:50,480
We praise you, we praise you.

367
00:37:50,480 --> 00:38:00,480
We praise you, we praise you.

368
00:38:00,480 --> 00:38:03,780
We praise you, we praise

369
00:38:03,780 --> 00:38:07,280
We'll see you break down every wall

370
00:38:07,280 --> 00:38:10,080
We'll watch the giants fall

371
00:38:10,080 --> 00:38:15,020
For fear cannot survive when we praise you

372
00:38:15,020 --> 00:38:18,560
The God of breakthroughs on our side

373
00:38:18,560 --> 00:38:21,400
Forever lived in life

374
00:38:21,400 --> 00:38:26,300
With all creation dry God we praise you

375
00:38:26,300 --> 00:38:29,900
We'll see you break down every wall

376
00:38:29,900 --> 00:38:32,740
We'll watch the giants fall

377
00:38:32,740 --> 00:38:37,340
For fear cannot survive when we praise you

378
00:38:37,340 --> 00:38:41,280
The God of breakthroughs on our side

379
00:38:41,280 --> 00:38:44,120
Forever lived in life

380
00:38:44,120 --> 00:38:48,360
With all creation dry God we praise you

381
00:38:48,360 --> 00:38:52,460
O-o-o-wo-o-o-wo-o-wo-o-wo-oh

382
00:38:52,460 --> 00:38:58,060
We praise you, oh-o-o-o-wo-oh

383
00:38:58,060 --> 00:39:03,560
We praise you all.

384
00:39:03,560 --> 00:39:25,560
We praise you all.