1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:03,680 If you have your Bible as Ephesians 5 this morning, 2 00:00:03,680 --> 00:00:08,340 I would encourage you to grab a Bible, 3 00:00:08,340 --> 00:00:09,960 begin looking for that passage 4 00:00:09,960 --> 00:00:12,560 as we will read it together here in just a bit. 5 00:00:12,560 --> 00:00:15,760 A couple Sundays ago during our town hall meeting, 6 00:00:15,760 --> 00:00:19,520 it was mentioned that you would prefer more sermons on sex. 7 00:00:22,800 --> 00:00:25,160 So you asked and I am going to deliver that 8 00:00:25,160 --> 00:00:26,920 this morning for you. 9 00:00:26,920 --> 00:00:28,880 Now keep in mind, this has been scheduled 10 00:00:28,880 --> 00:00:31,560 for a couple months now, so maybe that was just the Lord 11 00:00:31,560 --> 00:00:33,520 preparing your hearts for this morning. 12 00:00:34,920 --> 00:00:36,360 But here we are. 13 00:00:36,360 --> 00:00:39,100 Now I can't remember if I told this church 14 00:00:39,100 --> 00:00:41,200 this story or not, so if I have I apologize, 15 00:00:41,200 --> 00:00:42,280 it's gonna be a repeat for you. 16 00:00:42,280 --> 00:00:44,520 But when I first started dating Sina, 17 00:00:44,520 --> 00:00:49,520 I would occasionally visit her at her parent's house 18 00:00:49,640 --> 00:00:53,520 and we'd be sitting on the couch with her family 19 00:00:53,520 --> 00:00:56,280 and but the TV kept going silent 20 00:00:56,280 --> 00:00:58,560 and then these closed captions would show up on the screen 21 00:00:58,560 --> 00:01:01,720 and I had no idea what was going on 22 00:01:01,720 --> 00:01:04,760 and it kind of takes a while to get used to 23 00:01:04,760 --> 00:01:07,400 because you get into a rhythm of watching television. 24 00:01:08,280 --> 00:01:10,560 They had this box attached to their TV 25 00:01:10,560 --> 00:01:12,320 called the parent guardian. 26 00:01:12,320 --> 00:01:15,440 And so anytime a cursed word was said, 27 00:01:15,440 --> 00:01:18,800 it would mute the TV and then it would put on captions, 28 00:01:18,800 --> 00:01:20,600 replace the word with something else. 29 00:01:21,960 --> 00:01:25,440 My favorite was whenever someone would say the word sex, 30 00:01:25,440 --> 00:01:29,160 it would mute it and replace it with the word hugs. 31 00:01:31,320 --> 00:01:35,160 It didn't matter if the context was correct or not. 32 00:01:35,160 --> 00:01:37,360 Sometimes when someone was just being asked 33 00:01:37,360 --> 00:01:41,640 what their gender was, what sex are you or whatever, 34 00:01:41,640 --> 00:01:44,800 it would mute it and replace it with hugs. 35 00:01:44,800 --> 00:01:47,080 And so needless to say, there's been many jokes 36 00:01:47,080 --> 00:01:49,320 throughout the years regarding hugs. 37 00:01:49,320 --> 00:01:51,320 So with that being said, 38 00:01:52,600 --> 00:01:55,400 I'm going to try to keep this topic kid friendly 39 00:01:55,400 --> 00:02:00,120 and at times I'm going to refer to immoral hugs. 40 00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:03,600 And so that you'll know what I'm talking about. 41 00:02:03,600 --> 00:02:05,640 For those of you that got Sandy's email 42 00:02:05,640 --> 00:02:06,680 and for those of you that didn't, 43 00:02:06,680 --> 00:02:09,480 Sandy sent out an email this week to all the parents 44 00:02:09,480 --> 00:02:11,760 encouraging the children to take notes 45 00:02:11,760 --> 00:02:13,280 as we go through this thing. 46 00:02:13,280 --> 00:02:18,240 And so you as a parent, if you'll help them find the passage, 47 00:02:18,240 --> 00:02:20,400 help them find the Bible and then encourage them. 48 00:02:20,400 --> 00:02:22,640 If the kids turn in their notes after the service, 49 00:02:22,640 --> 00:02:25,520 Sandy has some sort of incentive for them. 50 00:02:25,520 --> 00:02:28,160 And so there's Bible, there's plenty of Bibles all around 51 00:02:28,160 --> 00:02:30,760 under the chair in front of you, believe it or not, 52 00:02:30,760 --> 00:02:32,800 those are not just for decoration. 53 00:02:32,800 --> 00:02:34,640 All right, so let's use those things. 54 00:02:34,640 --> 00:02:36,560 We're going to read the first four verses together 55 00:02:36,560 --> 00:02:39,360 so that we understand the context this morning, 56 00:02:39,360 --> 00:02:42,680 but in reality we're just covering verses three and four. 57 00:02:42,680 --> 00:02:44,440 So if you will stand as I read this 58 00:02:44,440 --> 00:02:46,400 as a way to honor the text, 59 00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:49,120 just as the people did in Nehemiah, 60 00:02:49,120 --> 00:02:51,880 we're going to read the first four verses together. 61 00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:54,880 Paul writes, therefore, be imitators of God 62 00:02:54,880 --> 00:02:58,920 as beloved children and walk in love as Christ loved us 63 00:02:58,920 --> 00:03:00,960 and gave himself up for us, 64 00:03:00,960 --> 00:03:03,800 a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. 65 00:03:03,800 --> 00:03:07,240 But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness 66 00:03:07,240 --> 00:03:11,560 must not even be named among you as is proper among saints. 67 00:03:11,560 --> 00:03:14,760 Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk 68 00:03:14,760 --> 00:03:16,800 nor crude joking which are out of place, 69 00:03:16,800 --> 00:03:19,440 but instead let there be thanksgiving. 70 00:03:19,440 --> 00:03:20,280 Let's pray. 71 00:03:20,280 --> 00:03:23,800 Father God, I pray that these words will seep into our hearts. 72 00:03:23,800 --> 00:03:24,960 And as we begin to study it, 73 00:03:24,960 --> 00:03:26,320 I pray that you will open our hearts 74 00:03:26,320 --> 00:03:28,640 and open our ears to hear your truth. 75 00:03:28,640 --> 00:03:30,720 I pray, Father, that the words that are said 76 00:03:30,720 --> 00:03:32,400 bring honor and glory to you. 77 00:03:33,200 --> 00:03:36,520 I pray that you will pierce our hearts 78 00:03:36,520 --> 00:03:37,960 with this truth this morning 79 00:03:37,960 --> 00:03:39,800 and help us see your love for us in it. 80 00:03:39,800 --> 00:03:42,360 We ask all these things in Jesus' name, amen. 81 00:03:43,520 --> 00:03:44,520 Amen, amen. 82 00:03:44,520 --> 00:03:49,600 When I was growing up as a kid, teenage or whatever, 83 00:03:49,600 --> 00:03:52,920 when my parents gave me the hugs talk, right? 84 00:03:52,920 --> 00:03:55,440 It was simply like the one I got was simply, 85 00:03:55,440 --> 00:03:58,680 don't do it until you get married. 86 00:03:58,680 --> 00:03:59,840 I didn't even know what it was. 87 00:03:59,840 --> 00:04:02,840 I just knew that I wasn't supposed to be doing it. 88 00:04:02,840 --> 00:04:05,160 But much like our culture today, 89 00:04:05,160 --> 00:04:09,080 I grew up in a hugs obsessed school 90 00:04:09,080 --> 00:04:11,120 where that's what most people were talking about 91 00:04:11,120 --> 00:04:12,840 in some form or fashion, right? 92 00:04:12,840 --> 00:04:17,120 And so I was and I still am the type of person 93 00:04:17,120 --> 00:04:19,840 that if you tell me not to do something, 94 00:04:19,840 --> 00:04:22,120 my curiosity is gonna get the best of me 95 00:04:22,120 --> 00:04:24,520 because I need to know why. 96 00:04:24,520 --> 00:04:28,680 So I started out with a view on sex that was unbiblical 97 00:04:28,680 --> 00:04:31,000 and it took me a long time to understand it 98 00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:34,200 and really kind of come to the point of view 99 00:04:34,200 --> 00:04:35,280 that was God. 100 00:04:35,280 --> 00:04:37,320 So as I was preparing the sermon, 101 00:04:37,320 --> 00:04:40,120 I was writing it from the perspective 102 00:04:40,120 --> 00:04:43,960 of what I wish I knew when I was a teenager. 103 00:04:43,960 --> 00:04:46,120 And really even need to be reminded 104 00:04:46,120 --> 00:04:47,960 from time to time even as an adult. 105 00:04:47,960 --> 00:04:52,960 So if I was talking to the teenage version of myself, 106 00:04:53,280 --> 00:04:55,160 the first thing I would want them to know 107 00:04:55,160 --> 00:04:59,640 is to not accept the culture's view on sex. 108 00:04:59,640 --> 00:05:01,080 Don't accept it. 109 00:05:01,080 --> 00:05:04,120 But beginning all the way back to verse 22 and chapter four, 110 00:05:04,120 --> 00:05:07,280 Paul has been writing about that we as followers 111 00:05:07,280 --> 00:05:10,880 of Jesus Christ need to take off our old way of life 112 00:05:10,880 --> 00:05:14,240 and put on new clothing that is consistent 113 00:05:14,240 --> 00:05:16,280 with our new life in Jesus. 114 00:05:16,280 --> 00:05:18,640 He has made it clear over and over again 115 00:05:18,640 --> 00:05:21,360 that we cannot continue to live the life 116 00:05:21,360 --> 00:05:24,800 that we once lived when we became Christians. 117 00:05:24,800 --> 00:05:27,200 This is not just for not true just for us 118 00:05:27,200 --> 00:05:28,560 as individual believers, 119 00:05:28,560 --> 00:05:31,120 but this is true for us as the body of Christ, right? 120 00:05:31,120 --> 00:05:32,040 The church. 121 00:05:32,040 --> 00:05:34,520 And so then last week we looked at the first two verses 122 00:05:34,520 --> 00:05:38,560 of chapter five and in it we saw that as followers of Jesus, 123 00:05:38,560 --> 00:05:40,240 those who proclaim faith in him, 124 00:05:40,240 --> 00:05:43,640 we are to imitate God by loving others 125 00:05:43,640 --> 00:05:46,760 in the same way that Christ loved us. 126 00:05:46,760 --> 00:05:48,040 We are to be giving, 127 00:05:48,040 --> 00:05:50,600 we are to have a sacrificial love that does, 128 00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:52,640 that loves even the unlovable, 129 00:05:52,640 --> 00:05:53,920 even those that are difficult, 130 00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:56,240 even those that speak ill against us. 131 00:05:56,240 --> 00:05:58,080 But Paul lived in a culture 132 00:05:58,080 --> 00:06:01,440 that was not altogether different from ours. 133 00:06:01,440 --> 00:06:05,200 It seems as we understand more about Ephesus 134 00:06:05,200 --> 00:06:09,360 that that city had totally blurred the distinction 135 00:06:09,360 --> 00:06:11,960 between love and sex. 136 00:06:11,960 --> 00:06:16,160 But the problem was so much more extensive than that. 137 00:06:16,160 --> 00:06:18,360 Now back in Ephesus, 138 00:06:18,360 --> 00:06:21,880 there was this temple to the goddess Artemis. 139 00:06:21,880 --> 00:06:24,560 The Romans knew her as Diana. 140 00:06:24,560 --> 00:06:27,960 And the worship of Artemis was possible 141 00:06:27,960 --> 00:06:31,480 by a multitude of young priests or priests 142 00:06:31,480 --> 00:06:35,560 who gave their bodies to whoever could pay the price 143 00:06:35,560 --> 00:06:36,800 as an act of worship. 144 00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:40,960 And so the whole city accepted immoral hugs 145 00:06:40,960 --> 00:06:42,760 as an act of worship, right? 146 00:06:42,760 --> 00:06:45,400 And regarded it as normal and proper. 147 00:06:45,400 --> 00:06:48,240 And they even regarded it as religious. 148 00:06:48,240 --> 00:06:51,480 But Paul is going to try to fix their thinking. 149 00:06:51,480 --> 00:06:53,040 Notice that Paul says, 150 00:06:53,040 --> 00:06:55,440 within the body of Christ, 151 00:06:55,440 --> 00:06:58,080 these things shouldn't even be named. 152 00:06:59,400 --> 00:07:02,120 Literally he writes that immoral hugs 153 00:07:02,120 --> 00:07:06,280 are not even to be named within the body of Christ. 154 00:07:06,280 --> 00:07:07,720 In other words, again, 155 00:07:07,720 --> 00:07:12,160 we are not to allow it to infiltrate the body 156 00:07:12,160 --> 00:07:16,040 in any form that there should not even be a hint of it 157 00:07:16,040 --> 00:07:17,640 in this place. 158 00:07:17,640 --> 00:07:19,320 Now, when you look at these verses, 159 00:07:19,320 --> 00:07:23,480 it's pretty obvious that Paul has arranged his instructions 160 00:07:23,480 --> 00:07:25,600 into two groups of three words. 161 00:07:25,600 --> 00:07:27,600 The first three deal with our actions 162 00:07:27,600 --> 00:07:30,200 and the second three deal with our words. 163 00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:31,520 And in both those areas, 164 00:07:31,520 --> 00:07:34,640 he makes it clear that we are to reject 165 00:07:34,640 --> 00:07:36,800 the world's view of sex. 166 00:07:36,800 --> 00:07:38,880 So the first action that Paul addresses 167 00:07:38,880 --> 00:07:40,920 is sexual immorality. 168 00:07:42,040 --> 00:07:44,000 This is the Greek word pornaia, 169 00:07:44,000 --> 00:07:47,320 which is where we get our word pornography. 170 00:07:47,320 --> 00:07:50,960 When we examine these and other uses of this word, 171 00:07:50,960 --> 00:07:54,480 we find that it describes any kind, 172 00:07:54,480 --> 00:07:56,800 any kind of sexual activity 173 00:07:56,800 --> 00:07:59,600 that occurs outside the confines of marriage. 174 00:08:00,680 --> 00:08:04,880 That very clearly includes premarital hugs, 175 00:08:04,880 --> 00:08:09,880 adultery, homosexual hugs, prostitution, and pornography. 176 00:08:10,840 --> 00:08:14,480 And even in the Ephesian culture of Paul's day, 177 00:08:14,480 --> 00:08:19,480 those practices had become completely acceptable 178 00:08:19,880 --> 00:08:22,320 and openly practiced without shame. 179 00:08:23,360 --> 00:08:24,320 Sound familiar? 180 00:08:26,280 --> 00:08:30,160 This is why we're going to address the elephant in the room 181 00:08:30,160 --> 00:08:35,160 and help you tackle the issue and struggle of pornography. 182 00:08:35,280 --> 00:08:37,560 Because even though it might have been accepted 183 00:08:37,560 --> 00:08:38,840 in their culture, 184 00:08:40,120 --> 00:08:41,680 I don't think anyone is gonna stand up 185 00:08:41,680 --> 00:08:43,240 and be proud of the fact 186 00:08:43,240 --> 00:08:45,200 that they are addicted to pornography. 187 00:08:46,280 --> 00:08:48,740 It's a source of shame, at least in the church. 188 00:08:50,280 --> 00:08:51,440 Two thirds of our men 189 00:08:52,640 --> 00:08:54,720 and one third of our women have an issue 190 00:08:54,720 --> 00:08:57,840 with viewing pornography regularly. 191 00:08:57,840 --> 00:09:00,200 And I'm not saying that to bring shame. 192 00:09:00,200 --> 00:09:02,560 I'm saying that so that you know 193 00:09:02,560 --> 00:09:05,160 that you're not the only one. 194 00:09:05,160 --> 00:09:07,560 We wanna help you overcome it. 195 00:09:07,560 --> 00:09:11,240 Pornography is in this church. 196 00:09:13,480 --> 00:09:14,800 So I've acknowledged it. 197 00:09:15,840 --> 00:09:16,840 So let's talk about it. 198 00:09:16,840 --> 00:09:19,320 If you are wanting help, 199 00:09:19,320 --> 00:09:22,320 we will provide you with any tools or resources we can. 200 00:09:22,320 --> 00:09:25,960 We can sign you up for a subscription to Covenant Eyes 201 00:09:25,960 --> 00:09:29,040 that you can install on your phone or install on your computer. 202 00:09:29,040 --> 00:09:31,920 We want this to be a safe place 203 00:09:32,920 --> 00:09:36,240 where you don't have to pretend that you aren't struggling. 204 00:09:37,560 --> 00:09:39,320 Some people go to the gym 205 00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:43,380 because they wanna get in shape. 206 00:09:43,380 --> 00:09:44,220 Some people. 207 00:09:45,640 --> 00:09:47,120 Or they wanna lose weight. 208 00:09:48,240 --> 00:09:50,640 People should come to church 209 00:09:50,640 --> 00:09:53,520 because they understand that they need some help. 210 00:09:53,520 --> 00:09:55,840 If there's anyone in this room 211 00:09:55,840 --> 00:09:58,160 that feels like they have it all together, 212 00:09:58,160 --> 00:09:59,920 you've overcome every addiction, 213 00:09:59,920 --> 00:10:01,520 you are walking on water, 214 00:10:01,520 --> 00:10:03,560 then you and I need to switch places 215 00:10:03,560 --> 00:10:05,420 because I am for sure not there. 216 00:10:06,480 --> 00:10:10,020 This is a great place to not be okay 217 00:10:10,020 --> 00:10:12,080 if you wanna get some help. 218 00:10:12,080 --> 00:10:14,280 The next item on Paul's list is impurity. 219 00:10:15,320 --> 00:10:17,120 This phrase is the very same word 220 00:10:17,120 --> 00:10:21,480 that Paul uses to describe the state of mind 221 00:10:21,480 --> 00:10:24,120 that leads to sexual impurity. 222 00:10:25,400 --> 00:10:29,280 So what Paul is saying is not only do we need to fight off 223 00:10:29,280 --> 00:10:32,200 immoral hugs, but we need to be careful 224 00:10:32,200 --> 00:10:34,480 not to even think about it. 225 00:10:34,480 --> 00:10:36,440 Don't let your thoughts dwell on it. 226 00:10:37,360 --> 00:10:40,920 When I was in college, I had this roommate 227 00:10:40,920 --> 00:10:42,440 as many of us did, right? 228 00:10:42,440 --> 00:10:43,840 And he was a really good guy. 229 00:10:43,840 --> 00:10:47,520 He's now a pastor in Arizona. 230 00:10:47,520 --> 00:10:48,840 And while we were living together, 231 00:10:48,840 --> 00:10:51,120 his longtime girlfriend would come and visit him. 232 00:10:51,120 --> 00:10:53,120 Now, they knew that they were gonna get married, 233 00:10:53,120 --> 00:10:55,480 but they were at different universities at the time 234 00:10:55,480 --> 00:10:58,160 so they would see each other about once a month or so. 235 00:10:58,160 --> 00:10:59,400 After she left one time, 236 00:10:59,400 --> 00:11:01,560 we were sitting in the living room talking, 237 00:11:01,560 --> 00:11:05,680 and he shared with me that they went a little bit too far. 238 00:11:06,920 --> 00:11:09,800 Now, when you go to a Bible college, 239 00:11:10,600 --> 00:11:13,280 and you're getting a degree in ministry, 240 00:11:13,280 --> 00:11:17,080 you can't just come right out and say what you did wrong. 241 00:11:17,080 --> 00:11:20,920 And so he would put some sort of spirituality onto it, 242 00:11:20,920 --> 00:11:21,760 right? 243 00:11:21,760 --> 00:11:23,200 And if you've ever been to a Bible college, 244 00:11:23,200 --> 00:11:25,320 you know exactly what I'm talking about. 245 00:11:25,320 --> 00:11:26,880 Well, I fell into temptation. 246 00:11:27,800 --> 00:11:30,040 I gave into my flesh. 247 00:11:30,960 --> 00:11:33,080 I crossed the Jordan, right? 248 00:11:33,080 --> 00:11:36,320 Whatever phrases you want 249 00:11:36,320 --> 00:11:38,640 is to put a spiritual twist on it. 250 00:11:38,640 --> 00:11:40,720 Now, I don't remember what he said, 251 00:11:40,720 --> 00:11:42,720 but I knew what he meant. 252 00:11:42,720 --> 00:11:46,720 So I asked him to give me some more details, 253 00:11:46,720 --> 00:11:48,560 not to be a pervert, 254 00:11:48,560 --> 00:11:52,640 but to really just try and figure out how this happened. 255 00:11:52,640 --> 00:11:54,040 He says, well, we were sitting on the couch 256 00:11:54,040 --> 00:11:55,120 and we were watching a movie. 257 00:11:55,120 --> 00:11:55,960 Okay. 258 00:11:56,840 --> 00:11:58,480 Was the door open? 259 00:11:58,480 --> 00:11:59,320 Nope. 260 00:12:00,440 --> 00:12:02,520 Were you under one blanket? 261 00:12:02,520 --> 00:12:03,800 Yep. 262 00:12:03,800 --> 00:12:05,040 Were the lights on? 263 00:12:05,040 --> 00:12:05,880 Nope. 264 00:12:07,640 --> 00:12:08,520 Were you spooning? 265 00:12:09,600 --> 00:12:10,440 Yep. 266 00:12:11,400 --> 00:12:13,360 Oh, what did you think was gonna happen? 267 00:12:13,360 --> 00:12:14,200 Right? 268 00:12:14,200 --> 00:12:15,960 You put yourself in that situation, it's gonna happen. 269 00:12:15,960 --> 00:12:18,160 If you put a fox in a chicken coop, 270 00:12:18,160 --> 00:12:21,040 don't be surprised the next morning when they're all dead. 271 00:12:21,040 --> 00:12:21,880 Right? 272 00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:25,880 So I have to be careful with what I watch on TV. 273 00:12:25,880 --> 00:12:29,240 There are certain shows that can get my mind 274 00:12:29,240 --> 00:12:31,720 to go places that I don't want it to go. 275 00:12:31,720 --> 00:12:33,760 Now, I've never seen Game of Thrones, 276 00:12:33,760 --> 00:12:36,320 and the only reason being is that I've heard 277 00:12:36,320 --> 00:12:39,000 that there's a bunch of nudity in it. 278 00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:41,080 Now, some people might be able to handle that, 279 00:12:41,080 --> 00:12:43,200 and I'm not one of them. 280 00:12:43,200 --> 00:12:46,780 We have to pay attention to what you are thinking about. 281 00:12:46,780 --> 00:12:51,780 Now, the next one Paul calls covetousness, or greed. 282 00:12:53,300 --> 00:12:57,100 Now, it does not seem to be referring so much to greed 283 00:12:57,100 --> 00:12:59,580 in terms of material possessions, 284 00:12:59,580 --> 00:13:01,300 as much as he is writing about the idea 285 00:13:01,300 --> 00:13:05,140 of coveting another person in the sexual sense. 286 00:13:05,140 --> 00:13:09,040 Now, Jesus mentions this in his Sermon on the Mount. 287 00:13:09,040 --> 00:13:11,380 He says, you've heard it said, do not commit adultery. 288 00:13:11,380 --> 00:13:12,620 Right? 289 00:13:12,620 --> 00:13:16,900 But I tell you, anyone who looks lustfully at another 290 00:13:16,900 --> 00:13:17,980 is just as guilty. 291 00:13:19,380 --> 00:13:22,380 So if you allow your mind to wander, 292 00:13:22,380 --> 00:13:24,900 and start thinking, oh, I wish that was my wife, 293 00:13:24,900 --> 00:13:27,540 I wish that was my husband, 294 00:13:27,540 --> 00:13:30,660 you are walking on dangerous ground 295 00:13:30,660 --> 00:13:34,140 that is going to be detrimental to your relationship. 296 00:13:34,140 --> 00:13:38,780 Do not let the enemy get a foothold in your life 297 00:13:38,780 --> 00:13:43,220 by believing that the grass is greener on the other side. 298 00:13:43,220 --> 00:13:44,580 Fight that off. 299 00:13:44,580 --> 00:13:45,980 The three words that Paul uses here 300 00:13:45,980 --> 00:13:50,300 to characterize the way that the world views hugs, 301 00:13:50,300 --> 00:13:52,700 they all have something in common. 302 00:13:52,700 --> 00:13:56,300 They all reflect the, if it feels good, do it, 303 00:13:56,300 --> 00:13:59,580 mentality that pervades our culture. 304 00:13:59,580 --> 00:14:02,380 Immoral hugs, impurity, and covetousness 305 00:14:02,380 --> 00:14:05,740 are all a natural result of a culture 306 00:14:05,740 --> 00:14:08,620 that focuses on what's in it for me. 307 00:14:08,620 --> 00:14:09,820 What do I get out of this? 308 00:14:09,820 --> 00:14:11,860 How can I be happy quickly? 309 00:14:11,860 --> 00:14:15,580 And as we've already seen, that is a complete contrast 310 00:14:15,580 --> 00:14:18,500 to the kind of love that we are to exhibit 311 00:14:18,500 --> 00:14:20,580 when we are imitating the love of God, 312 00:14:20,580 --> 00:14:23,940 a love that is giving, a love that is selfless, 313 00:14:23,940 --> 00:14:26,460 a love that is focused on the needs of others 314 00:14:26,460 --> 00:14:28,620 as opposed to the needs of ourself. 315 00:14:28,620 --> 00:14:32,900 The reason that the kind of hugs that Paul describes 316 00:14:32,900 --> 00:14:36,020 in this verse has become the God of our culture 317 00:14:36,020 --> 00:14:40,180 is because ourself have become the God of our culture. 318 00:14:40,180 --> 00:14:43,300 And unfortunately, even in the church, 319 00:14:43,300 --> 00:14:46,820 we have bought in hook, line, and sinker to the lie 320 00:14:46,820 --> 00:14:49,260 that the reason that God has established 321 00:14:49,260 --> 00:14:52,260 the kinds of boundaries that Paul writes about here 322 00:14:52,260 --> 00:14:55,740 is because God is trying to rob us of something. 323 00:14:55,740 --> 00:14:58,500 And I hear all the time, well, God's just not any fun. 324 00:14:58,500 --> 00:15:01,700 He's putting all these boundaries around us. 325 00:15:01,700 --> 00:15:04,740 But nothing could be further from the truth. 326 00:15:04,740 --> 00:15:07,260 And I think John 1010 applies here. 327 00:15:08,100 --> 00:15:11,180 He says, I've come that you might have life, right? 328 00:15:11,180 --> 00:15:12,820 And have it abundantly. 329 00:15:12,820 --> 00:15:15,980 The boundaries that God has established 330 00:15:15,980 --> 00:15:19,260 are actually intended to protect us 331 00:15:19,260 --> 00:15:21,980 and make sure that we receive all the blessings 332 00:15:21,980 --> 00:15:26,980 that God intends for us in regards to hugs. 333 00:15:27,780 --> 00:15:30,100 And although I don't need statistics 334 00:15:30,100 --> 00:15:33,420 from our own human experiences to prove that, 335 00:15:33,420 --> 00:15:37,860 there is certainly an abundance of evidence 336 00:15:37,860 --> 00:15:40,740 to confirm that God's principles do work. 337 00:15:40,740 --> 00:15:43,660 In his book, Marriage Savers, 338 00:15:43,660 --> 00:15:46,140 Mike Mimmanus gives us a bunch of statistics 339 00:15:46,140 --> 00:15:51,140 that show that living biblically is better for your marriage. 340 00:15:52,340 --> 00:15:55,100 According to the National Survey of Family Growth, 341 00:15:55,100 --> 00:15:58,140 the odds of divorce grows by 60% 342 00:15:58,140 --> 00:16:01,120 for couples that engage in premarital hugs. 343 00:16:01,120 --> 00:16:06,120 You wanna increase your chances of getting divorced? 344 00:16:07,240 --> 00:16:09,200 Have premarital hugs. 345 00:16:09,200 --> 00:16:12,800 A study by Columbia University shows that only 19% 346 00:16:12,800 --> 00:16:15,660 of couples that live together will end up married. 347 00:16:16,720 --> 00:16:19,560 Another study says that people who have premarital hugs 348 00:16:19,560 --> 00:16:23,000 run the chance of marrying someone who is not right for them 349 00:16:24,480 --> 00:16:28,440 because it makes couples feel closer than they actually are. 350 00:16:28,440 --> 00:16:30,920 It's not just a physical thing. 351 00:16:30,920 --> 00:16:32,560 I'll share one more. 352 00:16:32,560 --> 00:16:34,920 In spite of what the world is trying to tell us, 353 00:16:34,920 --> 00:16:38,560 National Institutes of Health researcher David Larson 354 00:16:38,560 --> 00:16:42,600 found that couples who don't sleep together before marriage 355 00:16:42,600 --> 00:16:45,280 and who are faithful during marriage 356 00:16:45,280 --> 00:16:49,680 are more satisfied with their current hug life 357 00:16:52,200 --> 00:16:53,880 and with their marriages. 358 00:16:53,880 --> 00:16:56,680 They're more satisfied in those areas 359 00:16:56,680 --> 00:17:01,620 compared to those who are sexually active before marriage. 360 00:17:01,620 --> 00:17:05,480 So you have the secular world confirming 361 00:17:05,480 --> 00:17:08,240 that the principles that God lays out in His word 362 00:17:08,240 --> 00:17:09,320 are better for you. 363 00:17:11,080 --> 00:17:14,080 We have to fight culture with our actions, 364 00:17:14,080 --> 00:17:18,160 but in verse four, he also mentions our speech. 365 00:17:18,160 --> 00:17:20,280 The word is rendered filthiness 366 00:17:20,280 --> 00:17:23,880 and it refers to any kind of disgraceful speech. 367 00:17:23,880 --> 00:17:26,760 In today's language, we call it all sorts of things 368 00:17:26,760 --> 00:17:29,040 like pottymouth or whatever. 369 00:17:29,040 --> 00:17:32,000 It may be the kind of language that is acceptable 370 00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:35,580 on a construction site or acceptable in a locker room, 371 00:17:35,580 --> 00:17:39,120 but Paul makes it clear that it is not acceptable 372 00:17:39,120 --> 00:17:42,760 for those of us who claim to be a follower of Jesus. 373 00:17:43,600 --> 00:17:47,760 Unfortunately, this kind of obscenity seems to be more 374 00:17:47,760 --> 00:17:50,360 and more accepted in our culture. 375 00:17:50,360 --> 00:17:55,360 This week, I was in Autozone and the guy in front of me 376 00:17:55,440 --> 00:17:57,880 was having a discussion with the cashier. 377 00:17:57,880 --> 00:17:59,640 Just, you know, just, I was like, come on, dude, 378 00:17:59,640 --> 00:18:00,480 let's wrap it up. 379 00:18:00,480 --> 00:18:02,960 But he was just having this discussion with the cashier 380 00:18:02,960 --> 00:18:05,400 and he was going on and on and on 381 00:18:05,400 --> 00:18:07,360 and it seemed like every other word 382 00:18:07,360 --> 00:18:09,680 without exaggeration was the F word. 383 00:18:09,680 --> 00:18:11,240 He just made it flow naturally. 384 00:18:13,040 --> 00:18:16,440 My question is, in my mind as I'm listening to all this, 385 00:18:16,440 --> 00:18:20,560 is why can't it just be called a starter? 386 00:18:20,560 --> 00:18:22,000 I don't know. 387 00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:23,320 I don't know. 388 00:18:23,320 --> 00:18:25,800 Why is it an F in starter? 389 00:18:25,800 --> 00:18:26,680 You know what I mean? 390 00:18:26,680 --> 00:18:29,000 Like, it makes no sense to me. 391 00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:31,560 I almost don't want to take my kids 392 00:18:31,560 --> 00:18:33,300 to a junior high basketball game 393 00:18:34,480 --> 00:18:36,520 because of what I'm hearing behind this 394 00:18:36,520 --> 00:18:38,280 because it's filled with profanity. 395 00:18:40,040 --> 00:18:42,040 When you think about the conversations 396 00:18:42,040 --> 00:18:44,040 that you've had this week, 397 00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:47,800 does your speech imitate the love of God? 398 00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:53,480 I'll be the first to confess that mine has not this week. 399 00:18:54,680 --> 00:18:55,720 I need to be better. 400 00:18:56,800 --> 00:18:58,800 Then Paul mentions foolish talk. 401 00:18:58,800 --> 00:19:03,200 Foolish, as it's used here, refers to one who is foolish 402 00:19:03,200 --> 00:19:06,100 because he does not understand the things of God. 403 00:19:06,100 --> 00:19:07,120 Psalm 14 once says, 404 00:19:07,120 --> 00:19:09,360 the fool says in his heart there is no God. 405 00:19:10,560 --> 00:19:13,200 In this context of this passage, 406 00:19:13,200 --> 00:19:16,040 it seems to refer to talk that ridicules 407 00:19:16,040 --> 00:19:19,080 God's standards for hugs. 408 00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:22,320 Now, we certainly don't have to look too hard 409 00:19:22,320 --> 00:19:25,120 to find that in our culture. 410 00:19:25,120 --> 00:19:27,920 It has become the norm on our televisions, 411 00:19:27,920 --> 00:19:30,200 in our schools, at our workplaces 412 00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:34,360 to glorify relationships that are not honoring to the Lord. 413 00:19:35,360 --> 00:19:37,280 We celebrate quick hookups. 414 00:19:37,280 --> 00:19:38,940 We celebrate living together. 415 00:19:38,940 --> 00:19:40,600 We celebrate crew joking. 416 00:19:40,600 --> 00:19:42,760 It seems everywhere I look, 417 00:19:42,760 --> 00:19:46,640 it is hard to see what God intended for our culture. 418 00:19:46,640 --> 00:19:49,120 We as believers need to be better. 419 00:19:49,120 --> 00:19:51,040 You set the example. 420 00:19:51,040 --> 00:19:51,880 There are a lot of dangers 421 00:19:51,880 --> 00:19:54,280 that maybe you're not even aware of 422 00:19:54,280 --> 00:19:56,940 when it comes to our speech. 423 00:19:56,940 --> 00:19:59,520 The first one being, it doesn't take sin seriously. 424 00:20:00,520 --> 00:20:04,000 When we joke about that, which is sinful, 425 00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:05,720 rather than condemn it, 426 00:20:05,720 --> 00:20:09,880 we are making light of the seriousness of that sin. 427 00:20:09,880 --> 00:20:14,300 The second thing is it allows us to push the envelope. 428 00:20:14,300 --> 00:20:17,540 Once we begin to engage in immoral speech, 429 00:20:17,540 --> 00:20:20,260 it becomes easier and easier to see 430 00:20:20,260 --> 00:20:22,600 just how far we can push the envelope. 431 00:20:23,940 --> 00:20:25,860 It's just like any other sin. 432 00:20:25,860 --> 00:20:28,860 When we try and find pleasure in our sin, 433 00:20:28,860 --> 00:20:33,860 it takes more and more of that to satisfy us. 434 00:20:33,980 --> 00:20:37,260 That's why the third thing is it leads to action. 435 00:20:37,260 --> 00:20:40,020 After a while, it's no longer adequate 436 00:20:40,020 --> 00:20:43,180 to just talk about immorality. 437 00:20:43,180 --> 00:20:46,300 So we actually move toward engaging in that behavior 438 00:20:46,300 --> 00:20:47,940 that we're talking about. 439 00:20:47,940 --> 00:20:52,180 Most affairs don't start with physical action. 440 00:20:53,180 --> 00:20:55,260 They begin by talking about things 441 00:20:55,260 --> 00:20:57,860 that two unmarried people should never discuss. 442 00:21:00,660 --> 00:21:03,020 The fourth thing is it demeans God's gift. 443 00:21:03,020 --> 00:21:08,020 Hugs in their proper context is a gift from God. 444 00:21:09,100 --> 00:21:12,940 And when we joke about it, we demean that gift. 445 00:21:14,140 --> 00:21:16,860 As we've seen consistently throughout Paul's letters, 446 00:21:16,860 --> 00:21:20,780 it's not just enough to reject the world's standards, 447 00:21:20,780 --> 00:21:24,260 but we need to replace it with something positive. 448 00:21:24,260 --> 00:21:25,980 We're not just taking off our old clothes, 449 00:21:25,980 --> 00:21:28,380 we're putting on new clothes. 450 00:21:28,380 --> 00:21:31,420 And so we're not just rejecting the world. 451 00:21:31,420 --> 00:21:35,100 We're not just rejecting the world's view of sexuality. 452 00:21:35,100 --> 00:21:37,660 We're gonna do something positive with it. 453 00:21:37,660 --> 00:21:41,900 And to do that, we must be thankful. 454 00:21:41,900 --> 00:21:45,900 So Paul says rather than doing what our culture is doing, 455 00:21:47,220 --> 00:21:50,480 we should be thankful for what he has given us. 456 00:21:51,820 --> 00:21:53,720 Paul could have used a number of different approaches 457 00:21:53,720 --> 00:21:55,380 to deal with this topic. 458 00:21:55,380 --> 00:21:57,660 He could have merely reminded his readers 459 00:21:57,660 --> 00:21:59,100 of the Old Testament commandments 460 00:21:59,100 --> 00:22:02,860 to deal with things like adultery or covetousness. 461 00:22:02,860 --> 00:22:04,340 He could have pointed out all the benefits 462 00:22:04,340 --> 00:22:06,140 of following God's principles 463 00:22:06,140 --> 00:22:08,200 rather than the ways of the world. 464 00:22:09,520 --> 00:22:11,720 His readers were faced with a choice, 465 00:22:12,700 --> 00:22:15,620 just like you and I are faced with a choice. 466 00:22:15,620 --> 00:22:18,380 We could either place their own selfish desires 467 00:22:18,380 --> 00:22:20,620 on the throne of their hearts 468 00:22:20,620 --> 00:22:23,580 and be just like the rest of the world. 469 00:22:23,580 --> 00:22:26,440 Or they could put God on the throne of their hearts 470 00:22:26,440 --> 00:22:28,940 and follow God's plans for their lives. 471 00:22:28,940 --> 00:22:31,540 We make that choice each and every day. 472 00:22:31,540 --> 00:22:34,780 So what is it that we are to be thankful for? 473 00:22:35,740 --> 00:22:37,180 Now certainly given the context, 474 00:22:37,180 --> 00:22:41,700 we need to be thankful for the selfless love of Christ 475 00:22:41,700 --> 00:22:43,260 that Paul described in verse two, 476 00:22:44,460 --> 00:22:46,100 which provides the means 477 00:22:46,100 --> 00:22:48,980 for us to even have a relationship with God. 478 00:22:48,980 --> 00:22:52,640 But in the more immediate context of verses three and four, 479 00:22:52,640 --> 00:22:54,860 I think there's something more here. 480 00:22:54,860 --> 00:22:57,740 Although immorality and impurity 481 00:22:57,740 --> 00:23:02,020 have distorted how sex is viewed in our culture, 482 00:23:02,020 --> 00:23:06,760 sex itself is a gift from God to man. 483 00:23:09,820 --> 00:23:13,820 It's a gift which is like a great flowing river 484 00:23:13,820 --> 00:23:14,980 through our lives. 485 00:23:16,040 --> 00:23:19,540 As long as that river remains in its banks, 486 00:23:19,540 --> 00:23:21,540 within the covenant of marriage, 487 00:23:21,540 --> 00:23:24,060 it is a great source of pleasure. 488 00:23:24,060 --> 00:23:26,020 It's a great source of power. 489 00:23:26,020 --> 00:23:28,820 It's a great source of refreshment. 490 00:23:28,820 --> 00:23:33,020 But if it's allowed to overflow its banks, 491 00:23:33,020 --> 00:23:34,980 it becomes destructive, 492 00:23:34,980 --> 00:23:38,020 which can produce great and lasting damage. 493 00:23:39,220 --> 00:23:41,260 Sex is also like a fire. 494 00:23:41,260 --> 00:23:43,780 Now many of you have fireplaces in your home 495 00:23:43,780 --> 00:23:47,460 and when the fire is contained within its structure, 496 00:23:47,460 --> 00:23:49,280 it provides warmth. 497 00:23:49,280 --> 00:23:50,700 It provides enjoyment. 498 00:23:50,700 --> 00:23:54,940 But if that fire escapes from that fireplace, 499 00:23:56,100 --> 00:23:58,900 or somebody forgets to open up the flu, 500 00:23:58,900 --> 00:24:00,660 as has been experienced recently, 501 00:24:02,740 --> 00:24:04,780 it can be uncontrollable. 502 00:24:04,780 --> 00:24:06,020 It can ruin everything. 503 00:24:06,020 --> 00:24:08,040 It can burn the house down. 504 00:24:09,220 --> 00:24:14,220 When we are thankful for God's gift of sex in our lives, 505 00:24:14,260 --> 00:24:18,660 then we will seek to use it to please and honor Him. 506 00:24:18,660 --> 00:24:22,300 And in return, we'll experience an abundant life full of joy, 507 00:24:22,300 --> 00:24:24,740 an abundant life full of intimacy. 508 00:24:24,740 --> 00:24:27,300 But when we allow it to be distorted, 509 00:24:28,140 --> 00:24:31,340 so that it escapes the boundaries of marriage, 510 00:24:31,340 --> 00:24:33,860 it will become an uncontrollable, 511 00:24:33,860 --> 00:24:36,380 destructive force in our life. 512 00:24:37,660 --> 00:24:40,220 Now I don't know where you stand on this topic. 513 00:24:43,060 --> 00:24:47,500 If you are like me, you have made some destructive mistakes 514 00:24:47,500 --> 00:24:50,340 when it comes to this topic throughout my life. 515 00:24:52,540 --> 00:24:55,300 And so this message, this passage, 516 00:24:55,300 --> 00:24:57,800 isn't to bring shame on you. 517 00:25:00,980 --> 00:25:04,860 It's to remind you that even though we've messed up, 518 00:25:07,820 --> 00:25:09,180 Christ still died for us. 519 00:25:10,940 --> 00:25:12,620 Even though you have a past, 520 00:25:14,340 --> 00:25:16,060 even though you're walking in sin, 521 00:25:16,060 --> 00:25:18,840 the offer on the table is abundant life. 522 00:25:19,840 --> 00:25:22,240 The offer on the table is forgiveness. 523 00:25:22,240 --> 00:25:26,440 The offer on the table is to walk in freedom. 524 00:25:28,320 --> 00:25:30,560 And so if you feel condemned this morning, 525 00:25:32,000 --> 00:25:33,160 that is not the goal. 526 00:25:34,840 --> 00:25:37,400 The goal is for you to recognize your sin 527 00:25:38,280 --> 00:25:40,760 and call upon the name of the Lord for forgiveness 528 00:25:41,640 --> 00:25:43,320 because that's the offer on the table. 529 00:25:43,320 --> 00:25:45,320 And as we get ready to celebrate communion, 530 00:25:47,000 --> 00:25:49,000 I want you to dwell on that reality. 531 00:25:50,200 --> 00:25:51,040 Let's pray. 532 00:25:52,000 --> 00:25:55,800 Father God, I pray that as you speak to our hearts, 533 00:25:55,800 --> 00:25:59,800 as we come together as a church family and take communion, 534 00:25:59,800 --> 00:26:03,400 I pray, Father, that you will remind us 535 00:26:03,400 --> 00:26:06,320 as we take the elements of how much we are loved by you. 536 00:26:06,320 --> 00:26:09,040 I pray that people, your children in this place, 537 00:26:09,040 --> 00:26:10,200 will find healing. 538 00:26:16,200 --> 00:26:19,800 We'll find abundant life and forgiveness this morning. 539 00:26:21,640 --> 00:26:25,320 And so Father, we pray that you just surround us 540 00:26:25,320 --> 00:26:28,320 with your presence, fill us with your spirit. 541 00:26:29,320 --> 00:26:32,800 And so Father, I pray that you just surround us 542 00:26:32,800 --> 00:26:36,480 with your presence, fill us with your spirit. 543 00:26:36,480 --> 00:26:40,280 As we look to the cross. 544 00:26:40,280 --> 00:26:41,280 It's your name, we pray. 545 00:26:41,280 --> 00:27:03,280 Amen.