1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:05,400 It has been said that mentoring is a mutual relationship with an intentional agenda designed 2 00:00:05,400 --> 00:00:10,840 to convey specific content along with life wisdom from one individual to another. 3 00:00:10,840 --> 00:00:12,840 Mentorship is a basic Biblical principle. 4 00:00:12,840 --> 00:00:16,880 The Book of Proverbs opens with an exhortation to listen to the words of the wise. 5 00:00:16,880 --> 00:00:19,940 There's a make or break factor in this that makes darkness nervous. 6 00:00:19,940 --> 00:00:24,120 In this episode of Keep It 100, we open up the conversation on mentoring community and 7 00:00:24,120 --> 00:00:25,920 having the right voices in your life. 8 00:00:25,920 --> 00:00:29,280 Be tuned till the end for the life-changing principles on accountability. 9 00:00:50,640 --> 00:00:52,880 Everybody, greeting to all the Keep It 100 tribe. 10 00:00:52,880 --> 00:00:56,600 Welcome to Keep It 100 with Sean and Christa Smith. 11 00:00:56,600 --> 00:00:57,600 Hey, everybody. 12 00:00:57,600 --> 00:00:59,320 We are so excited you're here. 13 00:00:59,320 --> 00:01:00,560 Do we have an episode for you? 14 00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:04,840 We believe that the content and conversation of this show could be a game changer. 15 00:01:04,840 --> 00:01:05,840 Oh, I tell you what. 16 00:01:05,840 --> 00:01:08,160 I am so excited about this topic. 17 00:01:08,160 --> 00:01:11,160 Before we dive into that, I want to talk about what happened last weekend. 18 00:01:11,160 --> 00:01:13,520 Sean and I were local here in the Vacaville area. 19 00:01:13,520 --> 00:01:14,520 We live in the Bay. 20 00:01:14,520 --> 00:01:15,880 It's about 45 minutes from us. 21 00:01:15,880 --> 00:01:19,840 We're at this incredible church and I did the women's conference on Friday and Saturday 22 00:01:19,840 --> 00:01:22,520 and then Sean followed up and did the Sunday service. 23 00:01:22,520 --> 00:01:25,560 And I tell you what, the power of God broke out in the place. 24 00:01:25,560 --> 00:01:26,960 We saw salvation. 25 00:01:26,960 --> 00:01:28,240 We saw deliverance. 26 00:01:28,240 --> 00:01:29,300 We saw breakthrough. 27 00:01:29,300 --> 00:01:31,680 It really was truly incredible. 28 00:01:31,680 --> 00:01:35,280 And I don't know about you, but Sunday service was like off the charts. 29 00:01:35,280 --> 00:01:36,280 It was what? 30 00:01:36,280 --> 00:01:37,280 Three and a half hours? 31 00:01:37,280 --> 00:01:38,280 It was three and a half hours long. 32 00:01:38,280 --> 00:01:41,920 And Kali, when you have a service that goes over three and a half hours, let me just say 33 00:01:41,920 --> 00:01:44,520 to the rest of the United States, it was a move of God. 34 00:01:44,520 --> 00:01:45,520 It truly was. 35 00:01:45,520 --> 00:01:47,360 I mean, we saw such a hunger. 36 00:01:47,360 --> 00:01:50,480 We released service and since service was over, the people stayed. 37 00:01:50,480 --> 00:01:55,000 I mean, people just wanted because when the presence of God is in the room, people will 38 00:01:55,000 --> 00:01:56,000 stay. 39 00:01:56,000 --> 00:01:57,000 So I want to encourage our listeners. 40 00:01:57,000 --> 00:01:58,400 I don't know where you're at in your state. 41 00:01:58,400 --> 00:02:02,000 I don't know if you've been able to gather in person or not, but I want to encourage 42 00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:05,560 you as Sean and I begin to gather where states have allowed it. 43 00:02:05,560 --> 00:02:11,640 We are seeing unprecedented amount of hunger and desire for God and the church is going 44 00:02:11,640 --> 00:02:12,640 after the bride. 45 00:02:12,640 --> 00:02:15,760 I want to speak some encouragement to the Keep It One Head of the Tribe. 46 00:02:15,760 --> 00:02:17,040 God is doing something. 47 00:02:17,040 --> 00:02:20,600 And get ready because revival is coming to America. 48 00:02:20,600 --> 00:02:21,600 Amen. 49 00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:22,880 I agree with that 100%. 50 00:02:22,880 --> 00:02:23,880 I love that. 51 00:02:23,880 --> 00:02:28,680 Today, we're talking about this topic of what we're calling mentoring, community, and having 52 00:02:28,680 --> 00:02:31,320 the right voices speak into your life. 53 00:02:31,320 --> 00:02:36,960 We think this is such an important topic because we know this really affects really the development 54 00:02:36,960 --> 00:02:41,600 of who we are and also walking out the fullness of who God designed us to be. 55 00:02:41,600 --> 00:02:43,480 You know, we were watching just last night, right? 56 00:02:43,480 --> 00:02:46,000 30 for 30, which some of you have not watched. 57 00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:47,720 VPN does these mini documentaries. 58 00:02:47,720 --> 00:02:52,760 They've done one on Michael Jordan, Bruce Lee, but they had one on superstar generational 59 00:02:52,760 --> 00:02:56,760 player, Michael Vick, which many people might know he was a quarterback, but he ends up 60 00:02:56,760 --> 00:02:58,560 going to prison for dog fighting. 61 00:02:58,560 --> 00:03:03,200 And as we're watching this thing and it ended very awesome, it was just really a redemptive 62 00:03:03,200 --> 00:03:09,120 story of this young man in his twenties that literally some mountain and achieve things 63 00:03:09,120 --> 00:03:11,160 that no other person really had. 64 00:03:11,160 --> 00:03:12,480 Two things jumped out at me. 65 00:03:12,480 --> 00:03:16,880 Number one, when he was young before he goes to prison, he is offered the opportunity to 66 00:03:16,880 --> 00:03:21,800 be mentored by coach Tony Dungey, who's a strong believer, hall of fame coach, just 67 00:03:21,800 --> 00:03:24,760 kind of a motivational man of God. 68 00:03:24,760 --> 00:03:29,080 But Michael Vick initially declines it, says he really doesn't have time for that. 69 00:03:29,080 --> 00:03:32,680 And without that mentorship in his life, he makes bad decisions. 70 00:03:32,680 --> 00:03:34,000 He goes to prison. 71 00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:39,440 And then once he's in prison, he asked for coach Dungey, the initial coach that he turned 72 00:03:39,440 --> 00:03:40,440 down his mentorship. 73 00:03:40,440 --> 00:03:45,600 He now asked for that mentorship and that ends up giving him a second chance in NFL. 74 00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:47,800 And of course, Mike Vick turns out great. 75 00:03:47,800 --> 00:03:51,120 And Mike Vick, new point news, new point news. 76 00:03:51,120 --> 00:03:52,120 He's ghost. 77 00:03:52,120 --> 00:03:55,960 But the second thing that jumped out to me was the company he initially kept with some 78 00:03:55,960 --> 00:03:59,840 childhood buddies that just weren't good dudes in general. 79 00:03:59,840 --> 00:04:01,640 They were the ones running the dog kennels. 80 00:04:01,640 --> 00:04:05,920 They were the ones that were organizing the dog fighting and had drugs around his compound 81 00:04:05,920 --> 00:04:07,520 when Michael Vick wasn't even there. 82 00:04:07,520 --> 00:04:09,680 Michael Vick was back in Atlanta. 83 00:04:09,680 --> 00:04:13,400 And then it was interesting that once he got out of prison and now he's wanting to make 84 00:04:13,400 --> 00:04:18,480 right decisions, he distanced himself from these wrong voices in his life when he got 85 00:04:18,480 --> 00:04:19,760 a second chance. 86 00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:26,240 And as a result of that, you could see that all the self professed bad decisions and association 87 00:04:26,240 --> 00:04:28,000 took place in his twenties. 88 00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:32,160 And then when he gets a second chance, you begin to realize he gets a mentor. 89 00:04:32,160 --> 00:04:33,280 He gets the right voices. 90 00:04:33,280 --> 00:04:34,280 He gets good community. 91 00:04:34,280 --> 00:04:39,120 And in fact, they even shown speaking at a church and you begin to see there's the reason 92 00:04:39,120 --> 00:04:40,920 why this guy finished well. 93 00:04:40,920 --> 00:04:41,920 It's so true. 94 00:04:41,920 --> 00:04:47,160 Watching the Michael Vick story was really powerful because it really is a display of 95 00:04:47,160 --> 00:04:51,080 who you surround yourself with really affects your destiny. 96 00:04:51,080 --> 00:04:56,120 And Michael Vick really was connected to some people that were making super unwise decisions 97 00:04:56,120 --> 00:05:02,120 and their unwise decisions, although he wasn't physically present at what was going on, their 98 00:05:02,120 --> 00:05:03,920 decisions affected his destiny. 99 00:05:03,920 --> 00:05:04,920 They affected his life. 100 00:05:04,920 --> 00:05:08,120 He ended up going to prison like Sean said for almost two years. 101 00:05:08,120 --> 00:05:12,240 And we really saw him make a comeback, but it's because he changed the voices in his 102 00:05:12,240 --> 00:05:13,240 life. 103 00:05:13,240 --> 00:05:16,120 And friends, that's what we're talking about today because so many of us and maybe some 104 00:05:16,120 --> 00:05:21,560 of you as listeners, we really lack from spiritually mature relationships in our life. 105 00:05:21,560 --> 00:05:26,560 And so many times we surround ourselves with people that are like us and they have, they 106 00:05:26,560 --> 00:05:28,080 don't have the gray hairs on their head. 107 00:05:28,080 --> 00:05:29,240 They don't have the wisdom. 108 00:05:29,240 --> 00:05:31,360 They haven't lived the life. 109 00:05:31,360 --> 00:05:33,720 Everyone around us kind of, you know, is similar. 110 00:05:33,720 --> 00:05:36,680 And although I get, we enjoy people that are similar to us. 111 00:05:36,680 --> 00:05:40,880 There's really a benefit of people that have different life experiences, deeper maturity. 112 00:05:40,880 --> 00:05:47,080 They really are a vantage point for you to learn from and mature from. 113 00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:51,520 And I believe that when Mike Vick brought Tony Dungey back into his life for the first 114 00:05:51,520 --> 00:05:56,280 time and allowed him to be a voice of counsel, it literally shifted his destiny because Tony 115 00:05:56,280 --> 00:06:00,160 Dungey was the one that advocated for him to go to the NFL and helped him reentry his 116 00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:02,320 career, which was unprecedented at that time. 117 00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:03,560 No one had done that. 118 00:06:03,560 --> 00:06:06,600 Gone from prison, gone back and had a super successful career. 119 00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:07,880 That was incredible. 120 00:06:07,880 --> 00:06:10,440 And so again, it was that voice of mentorship. 121 00:06:10,440 --> 00:06:15,000 It was that voice of accountability that was calling Mike Vick higher that I believe 122 00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:20,040 is the power of accountability, the power of mentorship and really the power of community. 123 00:06:20,040 --> 00:06:24,560 And so many times when we don't have that voice in our life, it can result in poor decisions 124 00:06:24,560 --> 00:06:26,720 and also poor relationships. 125 00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:32,320 We don't have anyone modeling to us what healthy relationships do in our life and mentor relationships, 126 00:06:32,320 --> 00:06:33,560 model health. 127 00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:38,560 You know, statistics back this book, according to LifeWay research, 45% of unchurch young 128 00:06:38,560 --> 00:06:44,040 adults identify the opportunity to receive advice from older people with similar life 129 00:06:44,040 --> 00:06:46,480 experiences as very important. 130 00:06:46,480 --> 00:06:47,480 Wow. 131 00:06:47,480 --> 00:06:52,640 And then 68% of church young people say advice from older people with similar life experiences 132 00:06:52,640 --> 00:06:53,640 are very important. 133 00:06:53,640 --> 00:06:57,460 So 45% of the unsaved or unchurch, 68% of the church. 134 00:06:57,460 --> 00:07:03,920 So the conclusion is the younger generation desires mentorship with more experienced 135 00:07:03,920 --> 00:07:08,760 people, more experienced Christians, obviously for those of us in the church world. 136 00:07:08,760 --> 00:07:13,080 This is so important because it's a generation crying out that I want mentorship. 137 00:07:13,080 --> 00:07:17,560 And you know, the reality is every single one of us need a mentor, every single one 138 00:07:17,560 --> 00:07:21,640 of us need community, every single one of us need those voices speaking into our life. 139 00:07:21,640 --> 00:07:27,200 Whether you are the CEO of a Fortune 500, whether you are entry level, beginning your 140 00:07:27,200 --> 00:07:32,160 journey, you need someone speaking into your life because we all know at the end of the 141 00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:34,520 day, we're all pretty impressionable people. 142 00:07:34,520 --> 00:07:38,560 And we all like to think that we're independent, we're free thinking who make up our own mind. 143 00:07:38,560 --> 00:07:42,840 But the reality is all of us are heavily influenced by the company that we keep. 144 00:07:42,840 --> 00:07:47,160 You know, we also have to be very selective as to whose advice we embrace. 145 00:07:47,160 --> 00:07:50,360 I love what you say, Kristin, not everybody should have room at your table. 146 00:07:50,360 --> 00:07:51,960 Your table is your inner circle. 147 00:07:51,960 --> 00:07:52,960 That's right. 148 00:07:52,960 --> 00:07:57,040 And I want to give you a core philosophy to not be advised by anyone who isn't advised 149 00:07:57,040 --> 00:07:58,040 by the word of God. 150 00:07:58,040 --> 00:07:59,040 Come on. 151 00:07:59,040 --> 00:08:01,360 Now I'm talking about deep life speaking into my life. 152 00:08:01,360 --> 00:08:04,640 Of course, I'll take advice from people in areas of expertise. 153 00:08:04,640 --> 00:08:08,720 I'm watching YouTube tutorials or different technological things I don't understand. 154 00:08:08,720 --> 00:08:12,960 But in terms of speaking in the direction and purpose and identity of my life, I am 155 00:08:12,960 --> 00:08:17,320 not going to be advised by anyone who isn't advised by the word of God because God isn't 156 00:08:17,320 --> 00:08:19,560 obligated to bless someone else's opinion. 157 00:08:19,560 --> 00:08:23,840 And if he isn't blessing their opinion, let me tell you what, you're really finding out 158 00:08:23,840 --> 00:08:26,640 and instead of getting a bless, you're getting a mess. 159 00:08:26,640 --> 00:08:28,480 Oh, that is so good. 160 00:08:28,480 --> 00:08:31,160 I should know about that because all right, keep it 100. 161 00:08:31,160 --> 00:08:33,760 Here's a keep it 100 for real moment. 162 00:08:33,760 --> 00:08:37,000 I had a criminal record at nine years of age. 163 00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:41,160 Many of you that listened to our podcast know that my dad was murdered when I was nine years 164 00:08:41,160 --> 00:08:46,680 of age and I developed at that particular time a real offense towards those who are 165 00:08:46,680 --> 00:08:47,680 in authority. 166 00:08:47,680 --> 00:08:51,160 And at the same time, I came across a group of some guys that lived next door to me. 167 00:08:51,160 --> 00:08:52,520 I still remember them. 168 00:08:52,520 --> 00:08:55,520 Stephen, Hercules, and Edgar. 169 00:08:55,520 --> 00:08:57,800 And Edgar was probably a year and a half older than me. 170 00:08:57,800 --> 00:09:00,200 His brothers were like five or six years older than me. 171 00:09:00,200 --> 00:09:04,400 They kind of introduced me in the hood, West Oakland, y'all, to a life of crime. 172 00:09:04,400 --> 00:09:06,040 So first we hit up Tony's liquors. 173 00:09:06,040 --> 00:09:11,480 I kind of steal maybe a little payday bar, a little Snickers bar, little M&Ms. 174 00:09:11,480 --> 00:09:12,960 And then we moved from there to Safeways. 175 00:09:12,960 --> 00:09:17,000 I was sticking popsicle down my pants and I was kind of getting good at robbery. 176 00:09:17,000 --> 00:09:21,080 I'm like, hey, dude, maybe eventually I could get me a car this way. 177 00:09:21,080 --> 00:09:24,560 I was feeling pretty good when you feel like you get that adrenaline, you're getting away 178 00:09:24,560 --> 00:09:25,560 with it. 179 00:09:25,560 --> 00:09:26,720 And then I made the mistake. 180 00:09:26,720 --> 00:09:29,520 I went to a, they used to call them kind of variety stores. 181 00:09:29,520 --> 00:09:31,200 They were kind of like Target. 182 00:09:31,200 --> 00:09:32,200 And so I went to it. 183 00:09:32,200 --> 00:09:35,360 It was actually Payless, but back in the day, Payless, today is Payless shoes. 184 00:09:35,360 --> 00:09:36,600 Then Payless was like Target. 185 00:09:36,600 --> 00:09:40,880 And so I had this janky bike and it was a Fixie and I thought, I don't want anyone to steal 186 00:09:40,880 --> 00:09:41,880 my bike. 187 00:09:41,880 --> 00:09:43,000 So I'm going to steal a lot. 188 00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:44,360 So I had a shirt in. 189 00:09:44,360 --> 00:09:45,360 This was my plan. 190 00:09:45,360 --> 00:09:46,600 I had this kind of flannel like shirt. 191 00:09:46,600 --> 00:09:50,800 I was going to drop my shirt over the lock, pick up my shirt and lock together and act 192 00:09:50,800 --> 00:09:53,160 like I'm still looking at stuff and walk out the store. 193 00:09:53,160 --> 00:09:55,880 And I got me a brand new lock for my janky old bike. 194 00:09:55,880 --> 00:09:59,600 The only problem was I didn't know they had closed surveillance cameras. 195 00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:03,400 So when I walk out of the store, this man and the woman, they're not dressed in security 196 00:10:03,400 --> 00:10:04,680 or plain clothes. 197 00:10:04,680 --> 00:10:07,960 They grabbed me by each arm and I look at them and I goes, sir, ma'am, I'm not your 198 00:10:07,960 --> 00:10:11,600 kid, which was kind of funny because of their race at my race. 199 00:10:11,600 --> 00:10:13,880 They grabbed my shirt and they shook out the lock. 200 00:10:13,880 --> 00:10:16,680 And all of a sudden I immediately started crying for two reasons. 201 00:10:16,680 --> 00:10:17,680 One, I knew I was caught. 202 00:10:17,680 --> 00:10:21,360 And two, I knew my grandmother was going to beat me down. 203 00:10:21,360 --> 00:10:22,360 They called the police. 204 00:10:22,360 --> 00:10:23,360 I begged them not to. 205 00:10:23,360 --> 00:10:26,600 And the police initially tried to call my grandmother and she didn't answer. 206 00:10:26,600 --> 00:10:28,440 My mom couldn't be reached at the time. 207 00:10:28,440 --> 00:10:31,440 So they took me down to juvenile hall, put me in a cell. 208 00:10:31,440 --> 00:10:32,440 It smelled like urine. 209 00:10:32,440 --> 00:10:33,440 I remember it. 210 00:10:33,440 --> 00:10:36,360 But I remember when they put me in a car, two older black ladies looked at me and you 211 00:10:36,360 --> 00:10:39,840 imagine seeing a nine year old kid in the back seat of a car and they just shook their 212 00:10:39,840 --> 00:10:40,840 heads. 213 00:10:40,840 --> 00:10:45,320 I remember just that sense because I think growing up, I was just a little more concerned 214 00:10:45,320 --> 00:10:47,720 about the community and older people and what they thought. 215 00:10:47,720 --> 00:10:50,960 And as I reflect over that period of life, by the way, that record was sealed when I 216 00:10:50,960 --> 00:10:53,160 was 18 because I learned my lesson. 217 00:10:53,160 --> 00:10:55,400 I learned my lesson in terms of the crowd I keep. 218 00:10:55,400 --> 00:10:58,800 I learned my lesson in terms of the voices that speak in my life. 219 00:10:58,800 --> 00:11:04,960 And the good news is from that point on, if guys was doing drugs, if guys were stealing, 220 00:11:04,960 --> 00:11:06,640 I didn't allow them in my inner circle. 221 00:11:06,640 --> 00:11:07,640 You may be in the hood. 222 00:11:07,640 --> 00:11:08,760 I may not at you. 223 00:11:08,760 --> 00:11:12,200 We may play a little ball in the park, but you are not going to be in my inner circle. 224 00:11:12,200 --> 00:11:17,840 And so I learned my lesson about the voices, about community, and even about mentoring. 225 00:11:17,840 --> 00:11:23,640 I tell you what, you are such an incredible picture of really allowing voices in your 226 00:11:23,640 --> 00:11:27,440 life to become the man who you are today because you didn't have those role models growing 227 00:11:27,440 --> 00:11:28,440 up. 228 00:11:28,440 --> 00:11:29,440 There was quite the opposite. 229 00:11:29,440 --> 00:11:33,560 And what I love is the man who you are today is such a man of integrity and you mentor so 230 00:11:33,560 --> 00:11:34,560 many people. 231 00:11:34,560 --> 00:11:37,720 And in a sense, giving them the next generation what you didn't have. 232 00:11:37,720 --> 00:11:39,320 And I think that's incredible. 233 00:11:39,320 --> 00:11:44,200 You know, the reality is so many people are hindered from having authentic mentoring relationships. 234 00:11:44,200 --> 00:11:49,640 And I really think one of the main things that hinders people is a desire to stay comfortable 235 00:11:49,640 --> 00:11:51,160 for their comfort zone. 236 00:11:51,160 --> 00:11:53,040 And they want to avoid conflict. 237 00:11:53,040 --> 00:11:56,200 Conflict is scary to people, but the reality is authentic Christianity. 238 00:11:56,200 --> 00:12:00,680 It's, you know, it's a lot of things, but easy isn't one of those things. 239 00:12:00,680 --> 00:12:05,200 The path of least resistance is not the path to your purpose, friends. 240 00:12:05,200 --> 00:12:10,640 We live in a society that's obsessed with convenience, self gratification, pleasures, 241 00:12:10,640 --> 00:12:14,400 things being instant, but we all know relationships take time. 242 00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:17,360 You have to be intentional and available to grow them. 243 00:12:17,360 --> 00:12:20,160 Mentor relationships are not your buddy, buddy, chill relationships. 244 00:12:20,160 --> 00:12:22,320 They are relationships that are going to have growing pains. 245 00:12:22,320 --> 00:12:26,320 They're going to be uncomfortable, but I'm not looking for a buddy when I have someone 246 00:12:26,320 --> 00:12:27,320 speaking in my life. 247 00:12:27,320 --> 00:12:31,760 I'm looking for someone to call me higher, but so many of us want that quick, comfortable, 248 00:12:31,760 --> 00:12:32,760 no conflict. 249 00:12:32,760 --> 00:12:36,560 And then, friend, the reality is you don't want a mentor, you actually want a fan. 250 00:12:36,560 --> 00:12:37,560 That's so good. 251 00:12:37,560 --> 00:12:38,960 Oh my goodness. 252 00:12:38,960 --> 00:12:39,960 That's powerful. 253 00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:44,440 The second hindrance from authentic mentoring is that we live in a culture of unlimited 254 00:12:44,440 --> 00:12:45,440 options. 255 00:12:45,440 --> 00:12:48,680 You ever pull up to Jack in a box, like I don't eat fast food, right? 256 00:12:48,680 --> 00:12:51,240 I don't, at least I don't eat that fast food. 257 00:12:51,240 --> 00:12:55,880 You can get option fatigue looking at their menu on the thing because it, or you go eat 258 00:12:55,880 --> 00:12:59,280 a cheesecake factory, they throw you that phone book that's got all them options. 259 00:12:59,280 --> 00:13:00,280 It's too much. 260 00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:01,280 And it's so thick. 261 00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:02,280 Yeah. 262 00:13:02,280 --> 00:13:06,720 We live in a world where we're inundated with choices, endless avenues to entertain us, 263 00:13:06,720 --> 00:13:07,720 satisfy our senses. 264 00:13:07,720 --> 00:13:13,240 And I think with that, it comes with a mindset that really has caused a consumer Christianity 265 00:13:13,240 --> 00:13:16,240 that all of a sudden far too many believers have an opt out. 266 00:13:16,240 --> 00:13:19,600 So it's like, if I don't like what they're saying here, I'll listen to this podcast. 267 00:13:19,600 --> 00:13:21,320 I'll listen, I'll go to that blog. 268 00:13:21,320 --> 00:13:22,320 I don't like that blog. 269 00:13:22,320 --> 00:13:23,320 So now I'll read this book. 270 00:13:23,320 --> 00:13:24,440 I'll listen to this teacher. 271 00:13:24,440 --> 00:13:25,520 I won't go to this church. 272 00:13:25,520 --> 00:13:26,520 I go to that church. 273 00:13:26,520 --> 00:13:30,760 And the Bible talks about those that heap up teachers according to their own itching 274 00:13:30,760 --> 00:13:31,760 ears. 275 00:13:31,760 --> 00:13:36,280 And you compile that with the fact that we have this rise in spiritual ambiguities. 276 00:13:36,280 --> 00:13:38,800 It used to be things were more black and white. 277 00:13:38,800 --> 00:13:42,800 And now people are fighting to try to make more and more gray area. 278 00:13:42,800 --> 00:13:47,760 I think in some instances that we've stretched the teaching of grace, we've twisted it so 279 00:13:47,760 --> 00:13:49,400 much we've given it a hernia. 280 00:13:49,400 --> 00:13:53,800 And so it's like, we got to get back to the point of you may have a culture of unlimited 281 00:13:53,800 --> 00:13:58,840 options, but if you want to grow, you have no other option, but to get some authentic 282 00:13:58,840 --> 00:14:00,080 mentoring in your life. 283 00:14:00,080 --> 00:14:01,080 That's so good. 284 00:14:01,080 --> 00:14:02,080 And that's what made me to point three. 285 00:14:02,080 --> 00:14:08,040 The third hindrance from authentic mentoring is what I call the pendulum reaction to legalism 286 00:14:08,040 --> 00:14:09,040 or abuse. 287 00:14:09,040 --> 00:14:10,040 Now it's true. 288 00:14:10,040 --> 00:14:12,720 Some people have been exposed to extreme legalistic teaching. 289 00:14:12,720 --> 00:14:16,440 That means where people have not just told you what the word has to say, but they've 290 00:14:16,440 --> 00:14:20,000 thrown in their own opinion in terms of what you can or cannot do. 291 00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:23,320 And they've taught it as, as it's the Lord's and it really isn't. 292 00:14:23,320 --> 00:14:27,600 And then all of a sudden some people come out of those churches hurt, upset or wounded. 293 00:14:27,600 --> 00:14:33,240 And then they begin to misinterpret discipline coming from spiritual leaders as legalism 294 00:14:33,240 --> 00:14:35,440 or control when in fact it isn't. 295 00:14:35,440 --> 00:14:38,040 And now you got things like hashtag church hurt movement. 296 00:14:38,040 --> 00:14:41,680 And the bottom line is, is you have to trust people in your journey. 297 00:14:41,680 --> 00:14:43,520 You won't call to do this thing alone. 298 00:14:43,520 --> 00:14:47,800 And if you just have a pendulum reaction and fight against discipline, you have to understand 299 00:14:47,800 --> 00:14:53,360 the Bible says that to those whom the Lord loves, they call that he calls them sons and 300 00:14:53,360 --> 00:14:54,360 daughters. 301 00:14:54,360 --> 00:14:55,360 He disciplines. 302 00:14:55,360 --> 00:14:59,800 Discipline is going to be a key to you walking in the fullness of your destiny. 303 00:14:59,800 --> 00:15:04,240 As one teacher says, we want to arrive at the grave empty, meaning that we fulfilled 304 00:15:04,240 --> 00:15:06,800 our purpose and did what God called us to do. 305 00:15:06,800 --> 00:15:11,560 You know, I was reading this article to Christa in the leadership journal by Lewis McBurney. 306 00:15:11,560 --> 00:15:15,920 And he said, there are four reasons why people reject essentially what we're talking about. 307 00:15:15,920 --> 00:15:18,840 And he says, those four reasons is I fear rejection. 308 00:15:18,840 --> 00:15:20,760 I feel embarrassed. 309 00:15:20,760 --> 00:15:24,360 I resent control by hostile people, which is kind of the point we're talking about. 310 00:15:24,360 --> 00:15:28,560 And four, I don't like facing my negative feelings, which is what you were talking about 311 00:15:28,560 --> 00:15:29,880 just in point one. 312 00:15:29,880 --> 00:15:30,880 It's so good. 313 00:15:30,880 --> 00:15:35,280 What you're saying is so rich because really, if we grab ahold of these, these are the things 314 00:15:35,280 --> 00:15:38,760 that hinder so many people from having mentoring relationships. 315 00:15:38,760 --> 00:15:42,680 If they can recognize these and overcome them and allow people to speak in their life, like 316 00:15:42,680 --> 00:15:45,760 we said at the beginning of this episode, these are game changers. 317 00:15:45,760 --> 00:15:50,920 I believe some people have been hindered because believers haven't caught the vision of passing 318 00:15:50,920 --> 00:15:54,120 the download of wisdom and life experience. 319 00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:58,080 And I'm really talking about maybe the older generation at this moment, although I want 320 00:15:58,080 --> 00:16:00,560 to hit multiple ages in just a minute. 321 00:16:00,560 --> 00:16:04,560 But you know, for older people, this maybe wasn't modeled to them. 322 00:16:04,560 --> 00:16:06,480 There was very much a culture in the older generation. 323 00:16:06,480 --> 00:16:11,160 And again, I'm not a part of that generation, but I've observed it come carry my bags, do 324 00:16:11,160 --> 00:16:15,240 stuff for me, you know, kind of be my gopher, but there's no intimacy. 325 00:16:15,240 --> 00:16:16,240 There's no personal relationship. 326 00:16:16,240 --> 00:16:20,360 There's no dialogue of being able to take off the mask and be like, Hey, this is what 327 00:16:20,360 --> 00:16:21,920 I'm facing in my life. 328 00:16:21,920 --> 00:16:22,920 Can you speak to this? 329 00:16:22,920 --> 00:16:24,320 Can you give me some counsel for this? 330 00:16:24,320 --> 00:16:29,160 There wasn't an unpacking of your personal life with the people that you served. 331 00:16:29,160 --> 00:16:34,120 It was very much like I serve you, but there was no innocence pouring out and they viewed 332 00:16:34,120 --> 00:16:37,360 just being in their mere presence was them mentoring you. 333 00:16:37,360 --> 00:16:38,960 And that's not mentorship. 334 00:16:38,960 --> 00:16:41,000 Mentorship isn't someone carrying my bags. 335 00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:44,200 Mentorship isn't someone picking me up from the airport and dropping me off to make things 336 00:16:44,200 --> 00:16:46,200 convenient for me. 337 00:16:46,200 --> 00:16:47,520 Mentorship goes both ways. 338 00:16:47,520 --> 00:16:51,160 You have to get ready to receive it, but I believe all of us are called to also pour 339 00:16:51,160 --> 00:16:52,160 out. 340 00:16:52,160 --> 00:16:56,120 And like I said, this is not, I just spoke about the older people, but this is not just 341 00:16:56,120 --> 00:16:57,120 an age thing. 342 00:16:57,120 --> 00:17:00,760 I think there's also a lot of younger leaders that are getting released finally, they feel 343 00:17:00,760 --> 00:17:04,760 like they're so excited to finally be released. 344 00:17:04,760 --> 00:17:09,320 I saw this, you know, throughout my life and not for me personally, I've actually, I can 345 00:17:09,320 --> 00:17:12,480 say before the Lord, I've actually really always been excited to release people, but 346 00:17:12,480 --> 00:17:17,960 I saw other leaders that were younger, that were getting released, that struggled seeing 347 00:17:17,960 --> 00:17:22,360 people raised up around them because they didn't even feel like they were fully released. 348 00:17:22,360 --> 00:17:25,440 So it was really hard for them to see other people released when they didn't even feel 349 00:17:25,440 --> 00:17:29,200 like what was in them had been fully tapped into or unlocked. 350 00:17:29,200 --> 00:17:35,040 But I believe if you have that mentality that you believe other people can't be released 351 00:17:35,040 --> 00:17:40,360 until the fullness of you, that's a scarcity mentality and scarcity is not in the kingdom 352 00:17:40,360 --> 00:17:41,360 of God. 353 00:17:41,360 --> 00:17:42,840 We live in the kingdom of God that has abundance. 354 00:17:42,840 --> 00:17:47,840 So if you have a scarcity mentality, which means there's not enough, there's not enough 355 00:17:47,840 --> 00:17:48,840 to go around. 356 00:17:48,840 --> 00:17:53,040 But the reality is if you have a kingdom mentality, all of us are called to make disciples and 357 00:17:53,040 --> 00:17:57,000 help people live out the kingdom of God and everything about our life should be pointing 358 00:17:57,000 --> 00:18:02,640 people to Jesus, discipling people and raising people up and recognize if people surpass us, 359 00:18:02,640 --> 00:18:03,640 great. 360 00:18:03,640 --> 00:18:08,520 That means we have shoved people deeper into God and let their lives inspire you to go 361 00:18:08,520 --> 00:18:09,520 deeper. 362 00:18:09,520 --> 00:18:13,440 That mentorship is actually about raising people beyond your limitations, but into the 363 00:18:13,440 --> 00:18:14,960 fullness of who they are in Christ. 364 00:18:14,960 --> 00:18:15,960 I love that. 365 00:18:15,960 --> 00:18:17,840 That is so profound right there. 366 00:18:17,840 --> 00:18:23,120 I really absolutely just wholeheartedly believe that and I've seen that and I believe things 367 00:18:23,120 --> 00:18:24,120 are changing. 368 00:18:24,120 --> 00:18:26,120 So I'm so glad you talked to that. 369 00:18:26,120 --> 00:18:31,800 The fifth thing that hinders people from authentic mentoring is wanting the cheerleading without 370 00:18:31,800 --> 00:18:32,800 the coaching. 371 00:18:32,800 --> 00:18:35,720 I've had different people come to me and say, Sean, I'd love for you to mentor. 372 00:18:35,720 --> 00:18:36,840 I love for you to mentor. 373 00:18:36,840 --> 00:18:40,960 And some of them I've begun to embark upon that and I began to realize what you really 374 00:18:40,960 --> 00:18:43,960 are saying is you want cheerleading without the coaching. 375 00:18:43,960 --> 00:18:47,560 You want to aim in corner without an Omi challenge. 376 00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:51,960 And I just feel like I see where there are people that they love the candy compliments, 377 00:18:51,960 --> 00:18:55,320 but they don't want the constructive criticisms or corrections. 378 00:18:55,320 --> 00:18:59,360 And let me just say to you, if you're not allowing someone to move beyond cheerleading, 379 00:18:59,360 --> 00:19:01,880 then you don't really have a mentor. 380 00:19:01,880 --> 00:19:03,400 You just have exactly that. 381 00:19:03,400 --> 00:19:04,520 You got a yes man. 382 00:19:04,520 --> 00:19:07,000 And what you need is you don't need a yes man. 383 00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:13,240 You need a God man or a God woman giving you advice that comes from the word of God. 384 00:19:13,240 --> 00:19:17,200 And I think about what many people have in their life is that you take Luke Skywalker. 385 00:19:17,200 --> 00:19:18,880 Everybody knows the whole Star Wars. 386 00:19:18,880 --> 00:19:23,200 I mean, it's been in so many generations now that thing has more miles on it than a Grey 387 00:19:23,200 --> 00:19:24,360 Helm bus, right? 388 00:19:24,360 --> 00:19:28,280 But Luke Skywalker has C-3PO that kind of translated for him. 389 00:19:28,280 --> 00:19:32,600 That was his bumbling buddy, but he would have never reached his potential without a 390 00:19:32,600 --> 00:19:33,600 Yoda. 391 00:19:33,600 --> 00:19:38,440 It was a Yoda in his life or Obi-Wan Kenobi that helped teach him how to grow. 392 00:19:38,440 --> 00:19:42,360 So you got to understand, you can't just have C-3PO's in your life that are just making 393 00:19:42,360 --> 00:19:45,920 you laugh and causing you to feel good about your chill life. 394 00:19:45,920 --> 00:19:49,360 You need to get some Yodas in your life to get you trying to balance the ship while you're 395 00:19:49,360 --> 00:19:52,080 upside down and rocks on your head. 396 00:19:52,080 --> 00:19:55,280 It's not just the cute little baby Yoda on the new Mandalorian. 397 00:19:55,280 --> 00:20:00,760 The old school Yoda, that dude was like, there is no why, only dude. 398 00:20:00,760 --> 00:20:04,360 And so I'm telling you, you need to get a Yoda in your life. 399 00:20:04,360 --> 00:20:05,360 I love that. 400 00:20:05,360 --> 00:20:10,240 I think a biblical example of this, Christa, is the king and first kings chapter 12. 401 00:20:10,240 --> 00:20:11,240 His name is Ray Abarney. 402 00:20:11,240 --> 00:20:12,240 That's so good. 403 00:20:12,240 --> 00:20:15,680 He was a son and he was given an opportunity to become king. 404 00:20:15,680 --> 00:20:18,240 And so the first thing he does, okay, so you just took office. 405 00:20:18,240 --> 00:20:20,560 Okay, now we're about to have 2020 elections, right? 406 00:20:20,560 --> 00:20:24,760 So imagine this thing multiple, multiple years ago. 407 00:20:24,760 --> 00:20:29,360 Ray Abum, first thing he does is he asks advice of the elder. 408 00:20:29,360 --> 00:20:32,040 So he goes to the gray hairs, say, what do you think I should do? 409 00:20:32,040 --> 00:20:33,160 None of them becoming king. 410 00:20:33,160 --> 00:20:37,440 And so they were talking to him about handling the transition with grace. 411 00:20:37,440 --> 00:20:41,280 This is experience talking to you, handle their transitions with grace. 412 00:20:41,280 --> 00:20:45,960 But then it says Ray Abum gathered the young guys that he grew up with and asked their 413 00:20:45,960 --> 00:20:50,160 advice and he said, Hey man, your dad waste should be like your fingers. 414 00:20:50,160 --> 00:20:52,240 Another way of saying your dad went easy on him. 415 00:20:52,240 --> 00:20:53,400 You need to be hard. 416 00:20:53,400 --> 00:20:55,040 You need to raise taxes. 417 00:20:55,040 --> 00:20:56,880 You need to make it about you. 418 00:20:56,880 --> 00:20:59,240 You need to let them know who's in charge. 419 00:20:59,240 --> 00:21:01,440 And so they're giving them different advice. 420 00:21:01,440 --> 00:21:02,800 And so here's the problem. 421 00:21:02,800 --> 00:21:07,520 Ray Abum should have went with the seasoned, but instead he went with the sexy. 422 00:21:07,520 --> 00:21:11,240 And I see that so often today rather than going with the seasoned voices in your life 423 00:21:11,240 --> 00:21:13,560 you're going with the sexy voices. 424 00:21:13,560 --> 00:21:17,480 But you have to understand, you don't want to, when I say sexy, I mean, was hip or was 425 00:21:17,480 --> 00:21:18,480 cool. 426 00:21:18,480 --> 00:21:23,120 But you have to understand Ray Abum split the kingdom, sabotage his reign as king and 427 00:21:23,120 --> 00:21:26,920 his destiny was impacted as a result of that. 428 00:21:26,920 --> 00:21:31,160 So if you learn anything, your life is going to follow your counselors. 429 00:21:31,160 --> 00:21:33,680 Don't reject the advice of elders. 430 00:21:33,680 --> 00:21:34,680 That's so good. 431 00:21:34,680 --> 00:21:36,920 Wisdom is found in the council of elders. 432 00:21:36,920 --> 00:21:37,920 That is so good. 433 00:21:37,920 --> 00:21:44,720 So the word encourages us to seek advisors, Proverbs 15, 22 says plans fail for lack 434 00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:47,600 of counsel, but with many advisors they succeed. 435 00:21:47,600 --> 00:21:50,320 The trick is to listen to the right ones. 436 00:21:50,320 --> 00:21:51,840 And that's exactly what you're talking about. 437 00:21:51,840 --> 00:21:59,360 I mean, the reality is he was given a council from the wrong voice, meaning Ray Abum listened 438 00:21:59,360 --> 00:22:01,160 to the wrong voices. 439 00:22:01,160 --> 00:22:06,400 And he was given counsel, sound counsel from the right voices, but he was persuaded by 440 00:22:06,400 --> 00:22:10,040 the younger, like you're talking about the sexier voice. 441 00:22:10,040 --> 00:22:14,200 Sometimes when we think something is seasoned and mature, we think it's boring. 442 00:22:14,200 --> 00:22:15,200 We think it's predictable. 443 00:22:15,200 --> 00:22:16,200 Speak to that. 444 00:22:16,200 --> 00:22:21,200 But the reality is just because it's hip, it's cool, it's fresh, it's new, it's different. 445 00:22:21,200 --> 00:22:24,600 That's not a bad thing, but it also doesn't mean it's the right thing. 446 00:22:24,600 --> 00:22:31,000 And so sometimes we have to recognize, don't be persuaded, don't be seduced by the shiny 447 00:22:31,000 --> 00:22:36,480 package in the way things come, but go to the soundness and the fruit of what's being 448 00:22:36,480 --> 00:22:37,800 released to you. 449 00:22:37,800 --> 00:22:43,320 You know, the reality is I know in my life, I so many times have pulled on the counsel 450 00:22:43,320 --> 00:22:45,680 of my kitchen table. 451 00:22:45,680 --> 00:22:48,160 There's only so many seats at my kitchen table. 452 00:22:48,160 --> 00:22:52,880 And I have a set of counsel that are trusted and they're seasoned. 453 00:22:52,880 --> 00:22:56,600 And I know that I can turn to these people and they will speak truth to me. 454 00:22:56,600 --> 00:22:58,600 They will give me an honest opinion. 455 00:22:58,600 --> 00:23:02,600 Not what I want to hear, but they'll preach to me the word of God. 456 00:23:02,600 --> 00:23:07,680 And they always point back to the Lord and they always empower my relationship with God, 457 00:23:07,680 --> 00:23:13,160 but they call me to a place of waiting on God in His truth, but not being persuaded 458 00:23:13,160 --> 00:23:17,840 by the seduction of culture or the sexiness of the current age. 459 00:23:17,840 --> 00:23:22,280 And I think that's what's so important is you've got to find your voices that are trusted 460 00:23:22,280 --> 00:23:23,840 and seasoned in your life. 461 00:23:23,840 --> 00:23:28,320 You know, if I could sit down with King Ray Abom and talk to them, what to look for in 462 00:23:28,320 --> 00:23:29,320 a mentor? 463 00:23:29,320 --> 00:23:33,840 Because obviously he grew up with young guys and as we've kind of described, they were 464 00:23:33,840 --> 00:23:36,120 probably exhibiting certain characteristics. 465 00:23:36,120 --> 00:23:38,760 And I imagine if you looked at the elders, they exhibited. 466 00:23:38,760 --> 00:23:40,280 So what do I look for in a mentor? 467 00:23:40,280 --> 00:23:42,320 Shauna Christa, hey, help me out with that. 468 00:23:42,320 --> 00:23:43,720 I need some mentors in my life. 469 00:23:43,720 --> 00:23:44,720 What I look for. 470 00:23:44,720 --> 00:23:49,520 And I think one of the things that's very important is does their life manifest a mature relationship 471 00:23:49,520 --> 00:23:50,520 with Christ? 472 00:23:50,520 --> 00:23:54,200 Like if I'm looking for a mentor and I have mentors in my life, one of the first things 473 00:23:54,200 --> 00:23:57,720 I look for is does their life manifest a mature relationship with Christ? 474 00:23:57,720 --> 00:24:00,720 Because you don't want to make a Xerox of a bad copy. 475 00:24:00,720 --> 00:24:03,320 It means that the reprint just gets worse. 476 00:24:03,320 --> 00:24:04,320 So good. 477 00:24:04,320 --> 00:24:08,840 And so so many people, they're getting people in their life that don't manifest a mature 478 00:24:08,840 --> 00:24:10,480 walk with God. 479 00:24:10,480 --> 00:24:15,920 And so if you're allowing immaturity to speak to your immaturity or hurt to speak to your 480 00:24:15,920 --> 00:24:20,560 hurt or wound to speak to your wound, it just exacerbates the whole situation. 481 00:24:20,560 --> 00:24:24,800 Second thing, if I could say, hey, Ray Abom, we're sitting down over a mocha latte. 482 00:24:24,800 --> 00:24:29,840 The second thing I would tell them to look for in a mentor is does their life and lifestyle 483 00:24:29,840 --> 00:24:31,840 challenge and convict yours? 484 00:24:31,840 --> 00:24:36,800 You know, I think what happens is that we mistake a mate for a mentor. 485 00:24:36,800 --> 00:24:39,320 In other words, mate like the Aussies would say a friend. 486 00:24:39,320 --> 00:24:42,120 We all of a sudden mistake a buddy for a mentor. 487 00:24:42,120 --> 00:24:45,200 You may have a guy that's your buddy and he may be cool. 488 00:24:45,200 --> 00:24:50,000 Maybe using a couple of years older than you, but don't mistake an associate for an advisor. 489 00:24:50,000 --> 00:24:53,080 It's easier to confuse a buddy for a trusted teacher. 490 00:24:53,080 --> 00:24:57,240 But what you've got to ask is when you look at that mentor, what governs their heart and 491 00:24:57,240 --> 00:24:58,320 affections? 492 00:24:58,320 --> 00:25:02,080 And if it's just trying to get paid, just trying to get the latest and greatest more 493 00:25:02,080 --> 00:25:07,240 junk in the trunk, you probably don't need just that person in your life as a mentor. 494 00:25:07,240 --> 00:25:09,800 And of course, stuff like authentic holiness. 495 00:25:09,800 --> 00:25:13,640 And you got to make a distinction between a spiritual mentor and a spiritual buddy. 496 00:25:13,640 --> 00:25:14,920 We all need spiritual buddies. 497 00:25:14,920 --> 00:25:17,000 We need friends in our lives. 498 00:25:17,000 --> 00:25:18,560 We need people around us. 499 00:25:18,560 --> 00:25:23,400 You know, I think Joshua had a Caleb, Caleb had a Joshua, but they both had a Moses. 500 00:25:23,400 --> 00:25:27,320 And so you may have a spiritual buddy, but you got to have a spiritual mentor. 501 00:25:27,320 --> 00:25:31,520 You know, what you said is so good because when we apply these things, we can really 502 00:25:31,520 --> 00:25:34,120 see the value of the mentor. 503 00:25:34,120 --> 00:25:37,240 Another thing I want to add to that is, you know, you need to really look for someone 504 00:25:37,240 --> 00:25:42,760 who can discern God's activity in your life and recognizes your potential in you. 505 00:25:42,760 --> 00:25:46,200 And I think that's so important because so many times we're around people that may not 506 00:25:46,200 --> 00:25:48,400 actually see us for who we are. 507 00:25:48,400 --> 00:25:52,200 You want a mentor that actually believes in you, sees you, and you're a diamond in the 508 00:25:52,200 --> 00:25:53,200 rough. 509 00:25:53,200 --> 00:25:58,040 I know for me, I had people in my life that called out what was in me before I even saw 510 00:25:58,040 --> 00:25:59,040 it. 511 00:25:59,040 --> 00:26:03,060 And before I even had the confidence or the belief within myself in certain areas. 512 00:26:03,060 --> 00:26:07,040 And that's the beauty of mentorship is when someone believes in you, their confidence in 513 00:26:07,040 --> 00:26:11,400 you, you grab ahold of that and you become more confident in who you're called to be. 514 00:26:11,400 --> 00:26:15,840 So you're not looking for a brother or sister to be your mentor. 515 00:26:15,840 --> 00:26:17,680 You're not looking for a peer to be your mentor. 516 00:26:17,680 --> 00:26:21,880 You're looking for a mother or a father in the spirit, an auntie or an uncle, a grandma 517 00:26:21,880 --> 00:26:22,880 or a grandpa. 518 00:26:22,880 --> 00:26:27,280 You're looking for someone older and more mature because a mother or father is comfortable 519 00:26:27,280 --> 00:26:31,160 with you soaring, but siblings, peers want to compete with you. 520 00:26:31,160 --> 00:26:34,240 A mentor can't compete with you. 521 00:26:34,240 --> 00:26:36,640 You can't have competition and grow. 522 00:26:36,640 --> 00:26:40,520 So it's really important who those people are and that they're farther along in the 523 00:26:40,520 --> 00:26:41,960 journey than you. 524 00:26:41,960 --> 00:26:45,640 Another thing you're going to really want to look for when you're looking for a mentor 525 00:26:45,640 --> 00:26:50,840 or having a mentor in your life is do they contribute or enhance the communities that 526 00:26:50,840 --> 00:26:51,840 they're a part of? 527 00:26:51,840 --> 00:26:56,640 Now, this is really important because I want someone where I want to emulate, we touched 528 00:26:56,640 --> 00:26:58,600 on this a bit, but I want to expand on it. 529 00:26:58,600 --> 00:27:02,520 They emulate who you want to reproduce. 530 00:27:02,520 --> 00:27:05,420 Like Sean talked about, do you want a Xerox copy of that? 531 00:27:05,420 --> 00:27:10,480 You look at their life, their marriage, their parenting or they're a part of their community, 532 00:27:10,480 --> 00:27:13,160 their job, how they're connected to church. 533 00:27:13,160 --> 00:27:16,480 If there's someone that's been wounded or offended in a church and they're staying home 534 00:27:16,480 --> 00:27:19,760 and they're critical and they're a part of the church hurt movement, they're probably 535 00:27:19,760 --> 00:27:25,600 not a solid mentor in helping you be a part of community or helping you develop and what 536 00:27:25,600 --> 00:27:30,760 it is really valuing the power of church and community because there's not a value 537 00:27:30,760 --> 00:27:32,280 for it in their lives. 538 00:27:32,280 --> 00:27:36,440 And if they're not contributing to the local church, if they're not contributing to community, 539 00:27:36,440 --> 00:27:39,320 how in the world are they going to help develop that in your life? 540 00:27:39,320 --> 00:27:43,600 So you really have to understand that if they have apathy or disconnection in their life, 541 00:27:43,600 --> 00:27:45,040 that is not a good sign. 542 00:27:45,040 --> 00:27:49,400 You have to read the signs and we have to understand that community teaches you to work through 543 00:27:49,400 --> 00:27:54,800 conflict and challenges and for you to be and more like Jesus. 544 00:27:54,800 --> 00:28:00,280 But if your mentor isn't living that life, just recognize you got to be wise about who 545 00:28:00,280 --> 00:28:01,680 pours into you. 546 00:28:01,680 --> 00:28:02,680 That is so good. 547 00:28:02,680 --> 00:28:03,680 Okay. 548 00:28:03,680 --> 00:28:06,600 The fifth thing and final thing that I sit down and I would share is that you're looking 549 00:28:06,600 --> 00:28:09,560 for a mentor, do they have strong mentors themselves? 550 00:28:09,560 --> 00:28:10,840 That's so good. 551 00:28:10,840 --> 00:28:12,120 Are they getting fed? 552 00:28:12,120 --> 00:28:15,600 And when I'm saying are they getting fed, I'm not talking about from books and blogs 553 00:28:15,600 --> 00:28:20,160 because when you're from books and blogs, you could selectively listen to the blog and 554 00:28:20,160 --> 00:28:22,440 read the book of the people that you want to. 555 00:28:22,440 --> 00:28:25,800 I don't know that you can always call that mentorship, but if you're allowing someone 556 00:28:25,800 --> 00:28:31,000 to could see you eyeball you, then they could begin to speak the inconvenient truths. 557 00:28:31,000 --> 00:28:35,280 It's kind of my way of saying those truths that you may not want to hear. 558 00:28:35,280 --> 00:28:36,280 Everybody wants to grow in an area. 559 00:28:36,280 --> 00:28:40,440 I can, I can listen to a blog, I can read a book on what I want to grow, but a potential 560 00:28:40,440 --> 00:28:46,200 mentor who doesn't have personal mentors themselves might falsely arrive at the conclusion that 561 00:28:46,200 --> 00:28:47,480 they've arrived. 562 00:28:47,480 --> 00:28:51,720 And the truth be told, not everyone's opinion should have equal weight in your life. 563 00:28:51,720 --> 00:28:58,880 And so if they don't weigh trusted season biblical Christ centered mentors in their life, 564 00:28:58,880 --> 00:29:03,800 then when they speak, their words shouldn't carry the same weight in your life as others 565 00:29:03,800 --> 00:29:04,800 that do. 566 00:29:04,800 --> 00:29:06,160 That is, I love that. 567 00:29:06,160 --> 00:29:07,160 That is really profound. 568 00:29:07,160 --> 00:29:12,880 And the reality is we're talking about mentorship and relationships, but the truth is true harmony 569 00:29:12,880 --> 00:29:16,400 among Christians is as important as it's ever been. 570 00:29:16,400 --> 00:29:20,160 So when we're talking about community to our Keep It 100 tribe, we're talking about it 571 00:29:20,160 --> 00:29:25,800 with us as individuals and then also us corporately, but we're really talking about us as the church 572 00:29:25,800 --> 00:29:29,480 together with one another because God designed community. 573 00:29:29,480 --> 00:29:30,680 He designed covenant. 574 00:29:30,680 --> 00:29:32,160 He designed connection. 575 00:29:32,160 --> 00:29:36,200 So when you and I were created, we were actually created for community. 576 00:29:36,200 --> 00:29:40,880 We were created for connection because we were created in God's image and God created 577 00:29:40,880 --> 00:29:41,880 community. 578 00:29:41,880 --> 00:29:43,200 He created covenant. 579 00:29:43,200 --> 00:29:47,680 And therefore if we are not living in community, we're not living in connection or covenant, 580 00:29:47,680 --> 00:29:51,000 then we're actually not living in our true design. 581 00:29:51,000 --> 00:29:52,160 And that's really important. 582 00:29:52,160 --> 00:29:56,360 The fullness of your identity is not fully lived out unless you're connected to other 583 00:29:56,360 --> 00:29:57,360 people. 584 00:29:57,360 --> 00:29:59,200 Other people are part of your destiny. 585 00:29:59,200 --> 00:30:03,160 You do not walk out your God destiny isolated or alone. 586 00:30:03,160 --> 00:30:07,000 And community, the definition of it for us to really understand it, let me break it down 587 00:30:07,000 --> 00:30:08,000 for you. 588 00:30:08,000 --> 00:30:12,880 The definition defines community in this way, a unified body of individuals with a common 589 00:30:12,880 --> 00:30:18,120 character, with common interests who share joint ownership and participation in something. 590 00:30:18,120 --> 00:30:22,640 So as a church who embraces the valued community, we feel strongly that there has to be unity 591 00:30:22,640 --> 00:30:23,680 between us. 592 00:30:23,680 --> 00:30:28,360 We should all share common character, one that reflects the character of Christ. 593 00:30:28,360 --> 00:30:29,360 That is so good. 594 00:30:29,360 --> 00:30:33,280 And I think about, as you're sharing, I think about my early formative community. 595 00:30:33,280 --> 00:30:38,600 We were a bunch of college students on a secular campus that were in a Christian club, so 596 00:30:38,600 --> 00:30:40,360 to speak, actually a Christian movement. 597 00:30:40,360 --> 00:30:44,720 And it was so important because inevitably as a baby Christian, but it's true even now, 598 00:30:44,720 --> 00:30:48,920 Christ and I are part of a community of believers locally and in part, and Christ even serves 599 00:30:48,920 --> 00:30:50,440 on the board of our church. 600 00:30:50,440 --> 00:30:55,040 And inevitably you're going to face trials, troubles and tragedies in life. 601 00:30:55,040 --> 00:30:57,640 This is in fact a sin marred earth. 602 00:30:57,640 --> 00:31:02,160 But God intends that you would be supported, strengthened, encouraged and empowered through 603 00:31:02,160 --> 00:31:04,480 a community of believers. 604 00:31:04,480 --> 00:31:08,280 So when you run from community, you're running from your support system. 605 00:31:08,280 --> 00:31:10,800 You run from your community. 606 00:31:10,800 --> 00:31:15,320 When you face storms and temptations of life, you have just unplugged yourself from the life 607 00:31:15,320 --> 00:31:17,720 of support system that could bring strength. 608 00:31:17,720 --> 00:31:22,120 And I really believe that it's so important that we draw the strength from the community. 609 00:31:22,120 --> 00:31:26,200 And I think about the first great awakening grew out of the Holy club because the Wesley 610 00:31:26,200 --> 00:31:31,080 brothers and Whitfield, they gathered together to pray, to hold each other accountable. 611 00:31:31,080 --> 00:31:32,760 They read certain books. 612 00:31:32,760 --> 00:31:35,760 And as a result of that, it launched the first great awakening. 613 00:31:35,760 --> 00:31:39,800 You know, relationships are our reason for existence. 614 00:31:39,800 --> 00:31:42,480 Relationships with God and with our fellow man. 615 00:31:42,480 --> 00:31:47,200 And so we have to understand Satan would love nothing more than to keep you and I isolated. 616 00:31:47,200 --> 00:31:50,760 But we know isolation is never the answer. 617 00:31:50,760 --> 00:31:54,240 This is where the enemy is going to deceive you by saying, you're not good enough. 618 00:31:54,240 --> 00:31:55,440 You're probably not a Christian. 619 00:31:55,440 --> 00:31:56,680 No one's going to really like you. 620 00:31:56,680 --> 00:31:59,840 If they really know what's going on with you, you're not going to be accepted. 621 00:31:59,840 --> 00:32:01,920 They're not going to let you into the inner circle. 622 00:32:01,920 --> 00:32:04,600 But I want you to know, don't believe the lies of the enemy. 623 00:32:04,600 --> 00:32:09,480 Don't allow the lies of the whispers that the enemy's trying to pull you out of relationship, 624 00:32:09,480 --> 00:32:12,520 pull you out of covenant or pull you out of community. 625 00:32:12,520 --> 00:32:17,400 The reality is the enemy wants to tell you that things are easier without community. 626 00:32:17,400 --> 00:32:20,920 But friends, we want to tell you today, you have to have relationship. 627 00:32:20,920 --> 00:32:22,080 You have to have community. 628 00:32:22,080 --> 00:32:25,200 You have to allow people to speak into your life. 629 00:32:25,200 --> 00:32:31,080 Hebrews 18 one sums this up beautifully says whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire. 630 00:32:31,080 --> 00:32:34,120 He breaks out against all sound judgment. 631 00:32:34,120 --> 00:32:38,240 When you say that, it also triggers and makes me think, Christa, that the bottom line is 632 00:32:38,240 --> 00:32:42,440 that you are God's appointed means to keep your brother and sister from falling into 633 00:32:42,440 --> 00:32:43,440 sin. 634 00:32:43,440 --> 00:32:47,080 Another important aspect of community is the Bible, let's just know in Ecclesiastes, 635 00:32:47,080 --> 00:32:50,280 two are better than one for they receive a better reward for their labor. 636 00:32:50,280 --> 00:32:53,000 For one falls down, the other can lift them up. 637 00:32:53,000 --> 00:32:57,520 There's another one that says that one alone can't stay warm, but two together can stay 638 00:32:57,520 --> 00:32:58,520 warm. 639 00:32:58,520 --> 00:33:02,680 It's a way of keeping that fire going in your heart of passion for the Lord. 640 00:33:02,680 --> 00:33:07,280 So if that's the case and we know the Bible is true, then every exchange with others counts 641 00:33:07,280 --> 00:33:12,160 for eternity because we're either weakening people's affections for God or strengthening 642 00:33:12,160 --> 00:33:13,160 them. 643 00:33:13,160 --> 00:33:16,360 In other words, we're either bringing the fire or in fact, we're dousing it. 644 00:33:16,360 --> 00:33:21,380 And Proverbs 13 20 tells us that we'll be significantly affected by the people we choose 645 00:33:21,380 --> 00:33:22,620 to relate to. 646 00:33:22,620 --> 00:33:28,320 Either we become wise by associating with those who are wise or we'll have bad consequences 647 00:33:28,320 --> 00:33:31,560 by associated with those who are not wise. 648 00:33:31,560 --> 00:33:36,120 As always to the Keep It 100 tribe, we want you to walk away with some takeaways and we 649 00:33:36,120 --> 00:33:41,360 have a few for you with this episode because we believe in the power of mentorship, those 650 00:33:41,360 --> 00:33:44,520 that are speaking to your life and the need for a community. 651 00:33:44,520 --> 00:33:48,800 First takeaway I want you to walk away with is accountability is important and necessary 652 00:33:48,800 --> 00:33:53,840 for to every Christian in order for them to reach the wholeness and their potential in 653 00:33:53,840 --> 00:33:54,840 God. 654 00:33:54,840 --> 00:33:56,200 Here's the reality friends. 655 00:33:56,200 --> 00:34:00,360 We're more likely to end well with this in place. 656 00:34:00,360 --> 00:34:01,620 And this is what I mean. 657 00:34:01,620 --> 00:34:04,040 When you want to get fit, what do you get a trainer? 658 00:34:04,040 --> 00:34:06,000 When you want to eat right, you get a nutritionist. 659 00:34:06,000 --> 00:34:10,560 It doesn't make sense that you would do this in your spiritual walk. 660 00:34:10,560 --> 00:34:14,040 Accountability makes us stronger and more effective in our walk with God. 661 00:34:14,040 --> 00:34:18,240 And it helps you see the gold in your life, therefore making you stronger, therefore helping 662 00:34:18,240 --> 00:34:22,200 resiliency in your life, which we talked about in a previous episode. 663 00:34:22,200 --> 00:34:27,000 You need to have people that help bring perspective and strength to your life because it gives 664 00:34:27,000 --> 00:34:30,640 you confidence that you know God's with you and he's going to get you through the storms 665 00:34:30,640 --> 00:34:34,680 of life and even more than the storms, you have a destiny and a purpose you're called 666 00:34:34,680 --> 00:34:35,680 to walk out. 667 00:34:35,680 --> 00:34:40,160 The next takeaway is accountability is a safeguard because what accountability does, 668 00:34:40,160 --> 00:34:42,320 it gives you a second set of eyes. 669 00:34:42,320 --> 00:34:45,840 It guards you against poor judgment and self deception. 670 00:34:45,840 --> 00:34:49,280 You know, I'm thinking about that whole again, that story of Michael Vic to bring it full 671 00:34:49,280 --> 00:34:50,280 circle. 672 00:34:50,280 --> 00:34:52,560 What if he'd have had Tony Dungey from the beginning? 673 00:34:52,560 --> 00:34:57,400 What if he never would have had to go to prison, which that was actually not just ruling that 674 00:34:57,400 --> 00:35:02,200 sent a man to prison for dog fighting for almost two years over that, but that's another story. 675 00:35:02,200 --> 00:35:05,480 But what if he had Tony Dungey in his life, then he would have never been bankrupt. 676 00:35:05,480 --> 00:35:10,840 He would have had those friends and it ended well for Michael Vic, but accountability is 677 00:35:10,840 --> 00:35:11,840 safeguarding. 678 00:35:11,840 --> 00:35:14,720 And some of us, we have to recognize the devil shooting real bullets. 679 00:35:14,720 --> 00:35:16,320 He's really coming after folks. 680 00:35:16,320 --> 00:35:18,320 We've seen men and women of God fall. 681 00:35:18,320 --> 00:35:19,320 We've seen them. 682 00:35:19,320 --> 00:35:20,320 We believe in restoration. 683 00:35:20,320 --> 00:35:25,520 We, we thank God we serve a redemptive God, but just like the case, maybe accountability 684 00:35:25,520 --> 00:35:27,760 could keep you from falling in the first place. 685 00:35:27,760 --> 00:35:31,940 And it's funny because they have research in a new study, Kristen, his new study comes 686 00:35:31,940 --> 00:35:36,600 out of the research that says the average person is holding on to 13 secrets, five of 687 00:35:36,600 --> 00:35:38,320 which was never told anyone. 688 00:35:38,320 --> 00:35:42,240 We know this, the enemy, the adversary of your souls, he has authority to traffic where 689 00:35:42,240 --> 00:35:46,520 there's darkness, where that darkness is found in the world or that darkness is found in 690 00:35:46,520 --> 00:35:47,520 your heart. 691 00:35:47,520 --> 00:35:51,800 And whenever you're holding on to secrets and things that you're keeping secret to protect, 692 00:35:51,800 --> 00:35:54,700 the enemy has the ability to traffic there. 693 00:35:54,700 --> 00:35:56,320 So we need to be accountable. 694 00:35:56,320 --> 00:36:01,080 And I have an accountability partner shot out to DB and we call each other every week. 695 00:36:01,080 --> 00:36:05,520 And I'm so glad that that guy is able to see things in my life and counsel me, he's older 696 00:36:05,520 --> 00:36:06,520 than me. 697 00:36:06,520 --> 00:36:08,880 He's got more gray in his afro than I do in mine. 698 00:36:08,880 --> 00:36:13,800 I recommend that is so important because accountability is a safe ground. 699 00:36:13,800 --> 00:36:18,120 Accountability is also something that requires commitment and perseverance. 700 00:36:18,120 --> 00:36:21,680 And the reason is transformation requires commitment. 701 00:36:21,680 --> 00:36:26,280 Commitment to be honest enough with yourself to own your blind spots, your responses, your 702 00:36:26,280 --> 00:36:30,320 feelings because we all know we're responsible for our attitude, our thoughts, our actions, 703 00:36:30,320 --> 00:36:31,600 and our behaviors. 704 00:36:31,600 --> 00:36:33,160 No one can make us any way. 705 00:36:33,160 --> 00:36:35,560 We have to make the choices to change. 706 00:36:35,560 --> 00:36:40,200 We can have people speak into our life, but we have to make the choice to receive the 707 00:36:40,200 --> 00:36:45,440 correction or receive the encouragement and actually run with it and walk at the fullness 708 00:36:45,440 --> 00:36:46,440 of who we are. 709 00:36:46,440 --> 00:36:50,320 But we all know if you want to stay the same, then you don't have to do anything. 710 00:36:50,320 --> 00:36:56,720 But if you want transformation, transformation requires you to be committed to being uncomfortable 711 00:36:56,720 --> 00:36:59,160 and refusing to stay where you're at. 712 00:36:59,160 --> 00:37:03,000 Therefore, accountability requires a perseverance. 713 00:37:03,000 --> 00:37:07,040 You got to push through in order to see transformation in your life. 714 00:37:07,040 --> 00:37:10,920 Friends, with the Keep It 100 Tribe, we want to thank you for tuning in for yet another 715 00:37:10,920 --> 00:37:11,920 episode. 716 00:37:11,920 --> 00:37:16,800 We pray that this content continues to transform and impact your life. 717 00:37:16,800 --> 00:37:20,840 We believe that every week, God has something for you. 718 00:37:20,840 --> 00:37:25,080 We just want to thank you for tuning in and we want to continue to ask you, will you rate, 719 00:37:25,080 --> 00:37:26,800 review, and refer us? 720 00:37:26,800 --> 00:37:31,360 We'd even actually love for you to share this link of this episode on your social media 721 00:37:31,360 --> 00:37:32,360 platforms. 722 00:37:32,360 --> 00:37:33,360 We want to hear your word out. 723 00:37:33,360 --> 00:37:36,680 And again, invite people, your friends and family, you think that could benefit from 724 00:37:36,680 --> 00:37:37,680 this content. 725 00:37:37,680 --> 00:37:42,680 Our whole passion is to disciple and equip people that want to go deeper after God. 726 00:37:42,680 --> 00:37:47,160 You can always find us at www.SeanandChristasmith.com and as well as on Facebook at Sean and 727 00:37:47,160 --> 00:37:48,560 Christa Smith Ministries. 728 00:37:48,560 --> 00:37:51,560 We'd love to hear how this podcast has impacted you. 729 00:37:51,560 --> 00:37:55,400 We've heard so many great reports from so many of you that really encouraged us and 730 00:37:55,400 --> 00:38:00,480 it really, as you do that, it spurs us to want to get deeper and to bring more material 731 00:38:00,480 --> 00:38:01,640 that we believe will help you. 732 00:38:01,640 --> 00:38:05,520 Speaking of that, you'll want to tune in next week because we're talking about leadership. 733 00:38:05,520 --> 00:38:09,840 Act like the leader you are because everyone is going to lead someone. 734 00:38:09,840 --> 00:38:14,400 And you're also going to hear from a university president that has written a book on leadership. 735 00:38:14,400 --> 00:38:16,400 He's an amazing guy and a friend of mine. 736 00:38:16,400 --> 00:38:17,680 You do not want to miss it. 737 00:38:17,680 --> 00:38:19,720 And remember, Keep It 100 Tribe. 738 00:38:19,720 --> 00:38:32,240 We hope you enjoyed today's episode of the Keep It 100 podcast with Sean and Christa Smith. 739 00:38:32,240 --> 00:38:34,320 Keep up with us on Facebook and Instagram at SeanandChristasmith.com where you can discover 740 00:38:34,320 --> 00:38:35,320 more resources. 741 00:38:35,320 --> 00:38:50,600 If this podcast has impacted you, please subscribe and review wherever you listen to your podcast.