WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:02.060 Sometimes they say that the ones who provide 00:00:02.060 --> 00:00:05.000 help are the ones who need it the most. And I 00:00:05.000 --> 00:00:08.679 agree to some extent. You see, I am a therapist 00:00:08.679 --> 00:00:12.160 and a counselor, and I mostly specialize in addictions. 00:00:12.919 --> 00:00:15.359 I am always intrigued to know what makes people 00:00:15.359 --> 00:00:18.739 tick, what makes them go off the edge for that 00:00:18.739 --> 00:00:22.579 one fix, what makes them feel good beyond the 00:00:22.579 --> 00:00:26.899 ordinary. Because I myself am an addict, and 00:00:26.899 --> 00:00:30.280 I am addicted to people's pleasures. I love living 00:00:30.280 --> 00:00:34.320 vicariously through them. This is a secret, of 00:00:34.320 --> 00:00:37.859 course. Because if anyone knew that I took pleasure 00:00:37.859 --> 00:00:42.079 in any of this, it would be over for me. To be 00:00:42.079 --> 00:00:45.740 fair, most, if not all, of my clients do get 00:00:45.740 --> 00:00:48.579 better with time. But then there's that small 00:00:48.579 --> 00:00:51.479 percentage that doesn't. They tend to regress 00:00:51.479 --> 00:00:55.399 and get worse. No fault of mine. But those are 00:00:55.399 --> 00:00:59.090 the ones I target. I want to feel what they feel. 00:01:00.109 --> 00:01:02.850 My life is boring. I have a five -year -old and 00:01:02.850 --> 00:01:05.829 an ex -husband who prefers men. There's nothing 00:01:05.829 --> 00:01:09.189 really fun going on. My job is my excitement, 00:01:09.250 --> 00:01:13.250 and I love it. For example, there's this guy 00:01:13.250 --> 00:01:15.950 that comes every other week to see me. It's been 00:01:15.950 --> 00:01:17.930 like this for over a year, and I don't think 00:01:17.930 --> 00:01:22.310 he's getting any better. How do I know? It shows. 00:01:22.950 --> 00:01:27.819 One, he's a sex addict. Two, He's switched up 00:01:27.819 --> 00:01:29.959 between 12 girlfriends over the period since 00:01:29.959 --> 00:01:34.200 we've been talking. The last one, he met a month 00:01:34.200 --> 00:01:37.239 ago. And the reason why they don't ever make 00:01:37.239 --> 00:01:39.459 it past a month is because he gets bored of them 00:01:39.459 --> 00:01:42.840 easily. He takes pleasure in pleasuring others. 00:01:43.540 --> 00:01:46.299 And when that woman becomes situated, he's no 00:01:46.299 --> 00:01:49.439 longer intrigued. I could tell you where all 00:01:49.439 --> 00:01:51.420 of this stemmed from and why it's happening, 00:01:51.819 --> 00:01:54.620 but for the sake of time, and the fact that none 00:01:54.620 --> 00:01:57.390 of this is any of your business, I'll just skip 00:01:57.390 --> 00:02:01.489 to the good parts. Let's call him Mark. I've 00:02:01.489 --> 00:02:03.890 had my eyes on Mark over the past two months 00:02:03.890 --> 00:02:06.390 just because I know he's not going to get better. 00:02:07.030 --> 00:02:09.770 And I say this with a heavy heart because it's 00:02:09.770 --> 00:02:13.990 true. No matter what I do, Mark is not willing 00:02:13.990 --> 00:02:17.210 to get better. I believe the only reason he returns 00:02:17.210 --> 00:02:20.490 for these sessions is because of me. He's quite 00:02:20.490 --> 00:02:25.539 obsessed. This is wrong. But as I said, I lead 00:02:25.539 --> 00:02:28.180 a boring life, and I'm going to take whatever 00:02:28.180 --> 00:02:32.900 the fuck I get. Anyway, on the bright side, he's 00:02:32.900 --> 00:02:35.800 one of those safety freaks. And I'm surprised, 00:02:36.139 --> 00:02:38.280 because most sex addicts aren't that careful. 00:02:38.879 --> 00:02:42.479 They expose themselves to STDs quite often. But 00:02:42.479 --> 00:02:46.580 Mark? He's special. He's like a monk. Do you 00:02:46.580 --> 00:02:51.460 know the TV show Monk? Well, right. Monk. He's 00:02:51.460 --> 00:02:54.199 a clean freak. He'll actually wipe down the chairs 00:02:54.199 --> 00:02:57.319 before he sits on them. And it's really puzzling, 00:02:57.580 --> 00:03:00.400 because most addicts do things on a whim. They 00:03:00.400 --> 00:03:03.159 don't usually take their environment into consideration. 00:03:03.900 --> 00:03:08.080 But Mark, he does. Which is why I admire him. 00:03:08.439 --> 00:03:11.900 Which is why I'm invested. And today, he has 00:03:11.900 --> 00:03:14.360 an appointment with me in just about 10 minutes. 00:03:15.060 --> 00:03:18.919 I'm sitting in my office, and he's outside. I 00:03:18.919 --> 00:03:21.400 actually wait until it's the exact time to call 00:03:21.400 --> 00:03:26.610 them in. For me, it's control. For them, it's 00:03:26.610 --> 00:03:29.909 that I have things to do, when really I don't. 00:03:30.569 --> 00:03:33.270 I mostly just write in my diary about my feelings 00:03:33.270 --> 00:03:36.810 or stare at the clock. Self -reflection after 00:03:36.810 --> 00:03:40.169 a client is important. I try not to take things 00:03:40.169 --> 00:03:45.210 too seriously. But anyway, back to Mark. I actually 00:03:45.210 --> 00:03:47.550 get excited when he comes in because his stories 00:03:47.550 --> 00:03:51.759 are so good. I get turned on by them. but I hide 00:03:51.759 --> 00:03:57.060 it really well, or so it seems. Okay, the ten 00:03:57.060 --> 00:04:01.039 minutes are up. I'm calling him in now. My assistant 00:04:01.039 --> 00:04:03.400 ushers Mark into the room and closes the door 00:04:03.400 --> 00:04:07.360 behind her. Mark stands by the door, but he eyes 00:04:07.360 --> 00:04:11.840 me. He always does that. He has this kind of 00:04:11.840 --> 00:04:15.419 stare that buries itself into my soul, and I 00:04:15.419 --> 00:04:19.860 stare back. I allow him to stare me down, because 00:04:19.860 --> 00:04:24.889 I love it. And I think it's a game. To him. To 00:04:24.889 --> 00:04:28.230 us. Because whenever he stares at me and I stare 00:04:28.230 --> 00:04:32.930 back, it feels like time doesn't exist. But eventually, 00:04:33.290 --> 00:04:36.870 he breaks it and walks forward. Usually, he'll 00:04:36.870 --> 00:04:39.110 sit on the chair first and then move to the couch. 00:04:40.050 --> 00:04:43.509 But today, he goes straight to the couch, spraying 00:04:43.509 --> 00:04:50.360 my leather and wiping it first. I say, How are 00:04:50.360 --> 00:04:53.920 you today? I've never felt better. Have I ever 00:04:53.920 --> 00:04:55.639 told you that your sessions are the highlight 00:04:55.639 --> 00:05:01.519 of my week? Yes, you have. Every time. It's because 00:05:01.519 --> 00:05:05.120 I can see you for who you are. I can be myself 00:05:05.120 --> 00:05:11.620 with you. I cross my legs. Is that so? He nods. 00:05:12.019 --> 00:05:16.360 So tell me, what have you been up to? Stuff. 00:05:17.120 --> 00:05:21.199 How's your girlfriend? He sighs. We're no longer 00:05:21.199 --> 00:05:27.220 a thing. I smile. And why is that Mark? He shrugs 00:05:27.220 --> 00:05:30.540 and leans back into the couch. I got bored of 00:05:30.540 --> 00:05:35.040 her. I got bored of her pussy. It no longer entices 00:05:35.040 --> 00:05:38.180 me. I feel like I've been eating the same bread 00:05:38.180 --> 00:05:42.579 every day. You should know how I feel. I scribble 00:05:42.579 --> 00:05:46.319 what I need to on my notepad. Actually, I don't 00:05:46.319 --> 00:05:50.160 know how you feel. Elaborate. He gives a soft 00:05:50.160 --> 00:05:53.519 chuckle. You know, sometimes I feel like you're 00:05:53.519 --> 00:05:56.240 fucking with me. That you just want to hear all 00:05:56.240 --> 00:05:59.300 my stories so you can feel good about yourself. 00:06:00.399 --> 00:06:05.399 I smile. Really? I believe so. You take pleasure 00:06:05.399 --> 00:06:09.660 in my escapades. Interesting. Do you want to 00:06:09.660 --> 00:06:13.779 know something? Please, go ahead. Whenever I 00:06:13.779 --> 00:06:16.060 talk about my relationships and get into detail, 00:06:16.199 --> 00:06:19.939 Your nipples get hard, your eyes dilate, and 00:06:19.939 --> 00:06:23.600 there's a slight parting in your lips. Mark leans 00:06:23.600 --> 00:06:27.959 forward, a dazzle in his eyes. Tell me I'm wrong. 00:06:29.139 --> 00:06:32.019 If that's what you see, then I can't tell you 00:06:32.019 --> 00:06:36.399 otherwise. Oh, yes. There's one other detail 00:06:36.399 --> 00:06:40.319 I didn't disclose. Mark is a surgeon, a doctor. 00:06:40.980 --> 00:06:44.759 He's quite observant, especially with me. And 00:06:44.759 --> 00:06:47.879 just because I'm forbidden to him, he uses all 00:06:47.879 --> 00:06:51.300 his skills to pick me apart, to make me fold. 00:06:52.579 --> 00:06:56.879 I like how open he is, but sometimes, his accuracy 00:06:56.879 --> 00:07:01.100 is unnerving. One day he'll figure me out, and 00:07:01.100 --> 00:07:04.620 I won't be able to come back from it. With signs 00:07:04.620 --> 00:07:09.699 like those, he says, I'd say I turn you on. If 00:07:09.699 --> 00:07:13.490 that's what you think. Mark chuckles. And my 00:07:13.490 --> 00:07:17.170 god, his smile is contagious. It's also beautiful. 00:07:17.889 --> 00:07:20.550 A guy like him can win anyone over with a smile 00:07:20.550 --> 00:07:24.230 and dimples. And that may be his problem. He'll 00:07:24.230 --> 00:07:26.069 get away with what he does because he's easy 00:07:26.069 --> 00:07:30.269 on the eyes. But honestly, I just love hearing 00:07:30.269 --> 00:07:32.509 him talk about the things he wants to do to me. 00:07:33.470 --> 00:07:37.050 I hide my arousal very well. But knowing he can 00:07:37.050 --> 00:07:41.420 sense it? That's dangerous. This is a professional 00:07:41.420 --> 00:07:44.639 setting and I need to keep it that way. You are 00:07:44.639 --> 00:07:48.560 like a forbidden fruit. He continues. I can't 00:07:48.560 --> 00:07:52.600 explore you, sadly. So the more you evade me, 00:07:52.879 --> 00:07:56.459 the more I crave you. You're like a fantasy in 00:07:56.459 --> 00:07:59.480 my head. A fantasy that I live out through other 00:07:59.480 --> 00:08:02.899 women. Do you know, when I fucked my girlfriend, 00:08:03.699 --> 00:08:08.240 I imagined it was you. Just so it'd be exciting. 00:08:09.069 --> 00:08:12.610 I blink at him. I pretend it's you so I can get 00:08:12.610 --> 00:08:17.329 off. But you said, and I quote, her pussy had 00:08:17.329 --> 00:08:20.730 become like everyday bread. Mark touches his 00:08:20.730 --> 00:08:23.850 chin, a stubble just beginning from yesterday's 00:08:23.850 --> 00:08:28.870 shave. Are you saying that? No. He cuts me off. 00:08:29.629 --> 00:08:32.990 I smile. I know her pussy could never be yours, 00:08:33.809 --> 00:08:37.070 so the feeling wears off eventually. His eyes 00:08:37.070 --> 00:08:41.000 drift down at my blouse. Your nipples are hard 00:08:41.000 --> 00:08:45.440 again. He says with a smirk. Note to self wear 00:08:45.440 --> 00:08:49.120 padded bras and silicone covers. I redirect the 00:08:49.120 --> 00:08:52.759 topic. So what have you been up to since you're 00:08:52.759 --> 00:08:56.100 no longer in a relationship? He tilts his head 00:08:56.100 --> 00:09:00.840 and clicks his tongue. The usual. I go to work. 00:09:01.639 --> 00:09:06.120 I go to the clubs. I read. Did you know you can 00:09:06.120 --> 00:09:09.409 easily find a woman at a library? Reading might 00:09:09.409 --> 00:09:14.210 be my new hobby. Is it reading or library hunting? 00:09:15.110 --> 00:09:19.350 Both. Mark, do you remember what we talked about? 00:09:19.730 --> 00:09:22.610 How you should respect people's boundaries, learn 00:09:22.610 --> 00:09:27.789 to spot the cues of... Yes, I know. When was 00:09:27.789 --> 00:09:31.289 the last time you had sex? He tilts his head, 00:09:31.529 --> 00:09:34.929 stares up at the ceiling. About four hours ago. 00:09:35.950 --> 00:09:40.820 How many times today? Three, four. Was it the 00:09:40.820 --> 00:09:46.179 same person? He shakes his head. Mark? He rubs 00:09:46.179 --> 00:09:48.299 the back of his neck like a kid being scolded. 00:09:49.419 --> 00:09:53.340 Are you at least using condoms? That's a stupid 00:09:53.340 --> 00:09:58.399 question. But yes, I am. Good. I'm getting the 00:09:58.399 --> 00:10:00.639 feeling you really don't want to get better. 00:10:01.440 --> 00:10:06.039 Actually, I do. No, you don't. You're not making 00:10:06.039 --> 00:10:08.690 any kind of effort. You're not even doing the 00:10:08.690 --> 00:10:12.250 homework I've given you. You see, I told you 00:10:12.250 --> 00:10:15.210 to stay away from it for at least two days. That 00:10:15.210 --> 00:10:19.370 was your homework. Two days feels like torture. 00:10:20.389 --> 00:10:23.710 See? If you won't do the work, I have to assume 00:10:23.710 --> 00:10:27.149 you don't want to get better. What if I get better 00:10:27.149 --> 00:10:30.450 and then I don't get to see you anymore, Miss 00:10:30.450 --> 00:10:35.289 Trent? You can still see me for updates. I don't 00:10:35.289 --> 00:10:38.389 want that. I want to talk to you about my sexcapades, 00:10:38.809 --> 00:10:43.110 my adventures. I want to see your reaction. So 00:10:43.110 --> 00:10:46.289 what you're telling me is that you're purposefully 00:10:46.289 --> 00:10:49.309 sabotaging your lessons just so you can prolong 00:10:49.309 --> 00:10:53.789 your sessions? He nods. That is unacceptable. 00:10:54.809 --> 00:10:56.730 Maybe I'll change if you take me up on that offer. 00:10:57.389 --> 00:11:01.289 It's unethical to date my clients. I don't want 00:11:01.289 --> 00:11:05.179 to date. I want you to be my wife. Are you going 00:11:05.179 --> 00:11:07.600 to secure a wife when you change girlfriends 00:11:07.600 --> 00:11:11.200 every month, when you get bored of them, of sex? 00:11:11.860 --> 00:11:14.379 The moment it feels dull, you'll toss me like 00:11:14.379 --> 00:11:18.340 tissues. I'm all about stability, something you 00:11:18.340 --> 00:11:23.539 don't have. He exhales. Maybe I'll change for 00:11:23.539 --> 00:11:28.759 you. I laugh louder than I should have. You should 00:11:28.759 --> 00:11:31.950 be changing for yourself, Mark. I reach into 00:11:31.950 --> 00:11:34.269 the small basket beside me and pull out a small 00:11:34.269 --> 00:11:38.370 chip with an emoji of a heart on it. Okay, tell 00:11:38.370 --> 00:11:41.070 me, what have you done differently since our 00:11:41.070 --> 00:11:43.490 last meeting that would warrant you this token? 00:11:44.590 --> 00:11:47.809 Mark eyes it carefully. I haven't brought anyone 00:11:47.809 --> 00:11:50.149 back to my place since Molly and I broke up. 00:11:50.629 --> 00:11:53.389 Do you usually do that? Are you really asking 00:11:53.389 --> 00:11:55.210 that question when I've been telling you the 00:11:55.210 --> 00:11:58.110 same thing this whole time? I'm just checking. 00:11:58.879 --> 00:12:01.460 Sometimes it's easy to ask the same questions, 00:12:01.620 --> 00:12:04.200 even when I already know the answer, because 00:12:04.200 --> 00:12:06.299 maybe you'll give a different one this time. 00:12:06.980 --> 00:12:08.899 I don't feel like I should bring them to my place 00:12:08.899 --> 00:12:14.759 anymore. Bring who? The women I fuck. So, where 00:12:14.759 --> 00:12:17.860 do you fuck them? At their place, maybe at the 00:12:17.860 --> 00:12:21.019 bar itself, in a room, in the washroom. It's 00:12:21.019 --> 00:12:23.440 hard seeing you do that when you're such a controlled 00:12:23.440 --> 00:12:27.200 person. Sometimes the urges get the best of me. 00:12:27.419 --> 00:12:31.480 but I do make sure the places are clean. So does 00:12:31.480 --> 00:12:34.799 this change mean that you're doing it less? He 00:12:34.799 --> 00:12:38.460 nods. But you've already done it four times today 00:12:38.460 --> 00:12:42.899 and it's only 3 .30. He laughs. I'm a work in 00:12:42.899 --> 00:12:45.940 progress and sometimes knowing that I'm coming 00:12:45.940 --> 00:12:48.940 to see you keeps me on edge. I like to let off 00:12:48.940 --> 00:12:52.340 some steam or else I'll be too stimulated while 00:12:52.340 --> 00:12:56.639 talking with you. How do you feel now? Aroused. 00:12:56.799 --> 00:13:00.860 But it's under control. I see. I blink at him 00:13:00.860 --> 00:13:05.120 again. Would you ever give me a chance? I hand 00:13:05.120 --> 00:13:09.240 him the chip. He takes it and smiles. Why don't 00:13:09.240 --> 00:13:12.480 you ever answer my questions? Because they're 00:13:12.480 --> 00:13:15.220 inappropriate. It's not inappropriate when you 00:13:15.220 --> 00:13:19.820 ask them. That's because I'm asking them in order 00:13:19.820 --> 00:13:23.679 to understand you so I can find the best solutions 00:13:23.679 --> 00:13:27.740 to help you get better. Mark rolls his eyes. 00:13:28.460 --> 00:13:30.559 I hate it when you give me textbook answers. 00:13:31.659 --> 00:13:35.460 Time to change the topic. Okay, I've got a task 00:13:35.460 --> 00:13:38.600 for you. Tell me something I don't know about 00:13:38.600 --> 00:13:42.419 you. He leans back into the couch again, wrapping 00:13:42.419 --> 00:13:46.480 one arm behind his head. This man reeks of sin 00:13:46.480 --> 00:13:52.379 and he knows it. Well, he begins. I've just started 00:13:52.379 --> 00:13:56.429 going to this elite club. It costs $500 per week. 00:13:57.230 --> 00:14:00.429 You don't get access to it easily. You need an 00:14:00.429 --> 00:14:05.750 invitation. And you've got an invite? Yes. A 00:14:05.750 --> 00:14:09.230 friend of mine invited me. Is that friend male 00:14:09.230 --> 00:14:15.330 or female? Male. Interesting. And who is this 00:14:15.330 --> 00:14:18.730 friend? There's no one right now. I scribble 00:14:18.730 --> 00:14:22.620 on my notepad. He eyes me. This is the first 00:14:22.620 --> 00:14:25.639 time he's withheld information from me, something 00:14:25.639 --> 00:14:29.100 he's always freely given, especially about friends. 00:14:30.200 --> 00:14:33.320 This person, apparently he's protecting them 00:14:33.320 --> 00:14:38.200 somehow, probably a family member. Okay, I say, 00:14:38.419 --> 00:14:42.019 setting my pen down. No, wait, I want to talk 00:14:42.019 --> 00:14:46.539 about it. About your friend? No, the club. He 00:14:46.539 --> 00:14:49.360 says this elite club, which is members only. 00:14:49.629 --> 00:14:53.450 lets you watch women in glass containers. They're 00:14:53.450 --> 00:14:56.809 usually naked, he says, but some wear cosplay 00:14:56.809 --> 00:15:00.029 costumes. They'll dance or just stand there for 00:15:00.029 --> 00:15:03.090 you to look at them. You can either rent a booth 00:15:03.090 --> 00:15:07.269 or sit among the others and watch. And have you 00:15:07.269 --> 00:15:11.769 gone to this club? Twice. Why only two times? 00:15:12.830 --> 00:15:16.370 Because the limit is twice a week. Yes, but I 00:15:16.370 --> 00:15:19.850 haven't seen you in two weeks. I'm saving my 00:15:19.850 --> 00:15:23.870 time for when you join me. I laugh. You're quite 00:15:23.870 --> 00:15:27.009 optimistic. He tilts his body to the side and 00:15:27.009 --> 00:15:29.870 retrieves a small card from his pocket, then 00:15:29.870 --> 00:15:34.350 leans over and hands it to me. I read it. Essence 00:15:34.350 --> 00:15:38.429 and Leisure Club. You have been invited. I set 00:15:38.429 --> 00:15:41.870 the card aside. I don't think this is my thing. 00:15:42.309 --> 00:15:45.629 What really is your thing, Miss Trent? Things 00:15:45.629 --> 00:15:48.960 that don't always involve sex. Your life must 00:15:48.960 --> 00:15:53.919 be boring, then. I guess it is. Mark's legs move. 00:15:54.440 --> 00:15:58.620 He taps his feet, rhythmic and slow. I want you 00:15:58.620 --> 00:16:02.440 to come. I'm inviting you. You can be a spectator. 00:16:02.919 --> 00:16:05.460 Or, if you're really up to it, you can get into 00:16:05.460 --> 00:16:10.480 a glass. He grins. You can wear a mask or even 00:16:10.480 --> 00:16:12.500 a blindfold if you don't like seeing people watch 00:16:12.500 --> 00:16:18.259 you. Are you baiting me? Is it working? No, it's 00:16:18.259 --> 00:16:21.980 not. He feigns a frown, like he's disappointed. 00:16:23.419 --> 00:16:25.759 I'll be there next week, Wednesday and Friday. 00:16:26.279 --> 00:16:30.379 If I see you, it'll be a good night. If I don't, 00:16:30.700 --> 00:16:34.799 then I'll sit there until I'm tired. Then suddenly, 00:16:35.220 --> 00:16:38.840 Mark glances at his watch and stands. Unfortunately, 00:16:39.120 --> 00:16:41.759 I can't stay. I have a barbershop appointment. 00:16:42.840 --> 00:16:47.340 A barbershop? His hair is immaculate. Mark sports 00:16:47.340 --> 00:16:50.779 a full head of large, beach blonde curls. Kind 00:16:50.779 --> 00:16:55.200 of messy like those surfers. Yes, just a trim. 00:16:55.860 --> 00:16:57.919 And I'll need to get there if I want to look 00:16:57.919 --> 00:17:01.759 good for next week. I smile up at him and stand. 00:17:02.799 --> 00:17:05.559 Well, this is a first. You've cut our session 00:17:05.559 --> 00:17:09.420 short. Why do I feel like you came here just 00:17:09.420 --> 00:17:13.380 to give me the invitation? Maybe I did, but I'm 00:17:13.380 --> 00:17:17.410 about to go now, so we'll talk. Or maybe we'll 00:17:17.410 --> 00:17:22.930 see. I shake my head. Goodbye Mark. He exits. 00:17:23.670 --> 00:17:25.829 I exhale a breath and grab the card from the 00:17:25.829 --> 00:17:29.470 table. I've heard about the club. Heard stories. 00:17:30.089 --> 00:17:33.309 But I've never gone. If this is what he likes, 00:17:33.789 --> 00:17:38.109 then I want to see it. Experience it. Maybe it'll 00:17:38.109 --> 00:17:40.170 give me clarity on the kind of man I'm working 00:17:40.170 --> 00:17:43.289 with, and I'll make better informed decisions. 00:18:09.499 --> 00:18:14.549 Hey Raiders! You have met the end of Invitation 00:18:14.549 --> 00:18:18.190 to Darkness, Part 1. Stay tuned for Part 2. And 00:18:18.190 --> 00:18:20.630 don't forget to subscribe, share, and follow 00:18:20.630 --> 00:18:23.829 me on TikTok and YouTube. See ya. Bye.