Isn't it funny how messed up life can be?
Why do we wait until something extreme to make a change?
Five days ago, I made a very dangerous move that could veer the course of my life.
One that could put me between a rock and a hard place.
A few days ago, I brought a date to a special event.
But before I get into that, let me give you a history of why that is such a big deal for me.
Ever since I was 13, I knew what I wanted in life.
I had everything planned out to a T.
I would go to college, get my law degree, and a few years after that, I would marry the love of my life.
By age 40, I should already have at least three kids.
Sounds perfect, right?
Well, I did get some parts of my dreams right.
I'm a lawyer, a very good one in fact.
So good that I'm retained by some of the most powerful politicians.
But to say that I'm married, I'm still working on that.
Let's just say I'm a bit reserved.
And kids?
Well, before I get a kid or two, I want to ensure that they have a stable home and a present father.
So far, I haven't ticked off those things from my list.
And that's all my fault.
You see, I'm waiting for a specific guy.
And I know with my stature and beauty, I can get anyone I want.
But that's the thing.
I don't want anyone.
I want Trevor Toretto.
Trevor Toretto is one of the sexiest, handsome, well-built, manly man I've ever known.
We met in college and I distinctly remember our first class.
He had sat behind me and had been clicking his goddamn pen so loud and so goddamn fast
that I turned around, grabbed it, and flung it across the room.
To this day, I have no idea where that pen landed.
But only after I got rid of the pen, I realized how beautiful this man had been.
To top it off, the bastard had leaned forward and whispered in my ear.
Took you long enough.
I was mad, fuming, so pissed that after class I made it my mission to give him a piece of my mind.
However, that did not work out as planned, because he ended up inviting me out to a pizza date.
And we made out in his car for two fucking hours.
By day four, he'd been talking to another girl.
In addition, fate fucked with us because my new best friend Charlotte had been dating his best friend.
It had been awkward at first, but then we got used to it, and even though we never spoke about a kiss in our date,
Trevor had made it clear how infatuated he'd been with me, and how someday we would make the perfect couple.
It's toxic, to be honest, because he was leading a fast life.
While I had been that celibate girl who cared more about her studies than fucking around with guys.
And I think he knew that.
The sad thing about all this is that I cared too much about him.
It's like I was obsessed with this man, and I still am.
When we graduated, I thought things would have gotten better because Trevor had finally asked for us to be official.
However, within a month he said he couldn't do it, that he didn't want to hurt me and he preferred to see other girls.
I had no idea what that meant because I was only thinking about my list.
I wanted Trevor to be that guy I married and settled with.
To be that guy to have my babies with, but when he said he wasn't ready,
I somehow felt like I wasn't good enough, that I didn't have what all the other girls had.
And after, what seemed like hundreds of therapy sessions, I came to realize that the problem hadn't been me.
It was actually him, that he didn't think he was good enough for me.
I was the prize, and he didn't earn the right to win me.
Anyway, over time, I forgot about my list and buried myself in work, trying to become the best I could ever be.
I didn't bother holding on to any of my relationships because no one seemed to match Trevor's energy.
But despite ditching the list, the last two years had been rough.
I still had this idea about the guy I wanted to marry and have my kids with,
and no one seemed to match my vision other than Trevor himself.
I focused my attention on a man who had no interest in me.
There were many times I threw up in the washroom whenever he brought a date to any function or event I went to.
It had reached to a point where I had gotten anxiety attacks whenever I saw him.
And then I got a wake-up call when I visited my gynecologist.
My egg count was low and my chances of getting pregnant were decreasing with age.
That day had been the scariest of my life.
There I was, a big shot lawyer with tons of money and no kid or husband or anything to show for it.
I'm happy, yes, but it's also nice to share or create life with someone.
I'd sunken into depression for some time, asking God for a sign.
Then, out of nowhere, Charlotte invites me to a golf tournament.
And there I met Sean.
I don't know, but I felt like it was a sign because Sean and I hit it off.
And then we began dating.
It just felt... easy.
It felt good.
Charlotte had been worried that my relationship with Sean was only a symptom of my depression or the pain of thinking that I couldn't bear any kids,
but it wasn't any of that.
Truthfully, Sean made me happy.
I felt good around him, so good that I was comfortable enough to invite him as a date to Charlotte and Jeffrey's engagement party.
I never brought dates to functions, so feeling good and empowered to invite Sean was something good, right?
But aside from wanting Sean to be at my side at the event, I must confess that I did want to show him off to Trevor.
I wanted to see Trevor squirm, get him jealous to a point of total discomfort for the entire night.
I knew Trevor to be territorial, so this was a kind of payback for the stress he'd put me through over the years.
I wanted him to know that I was no longer waiting, that I had moved on completely, and piss-mad he'd gotten.
Like, why would you even be angry about anything I do when it's clear that you have no interest in me?
I mean, I know there's no doubt that Trevor is fond of me, but why act the fool when you had clearly been the one to bring dates
and move on with your life over the last 10 years? It's baffling.
Speaking of baffling, why the fuck is my self-cleaning vacuum cleaner rotating in the same corner for the past five minutes?
It's like I'm watching TV, but I'm also hearing the damn thing whirring and grinding itself in the corner.
I thought it was cleaning, but it's not.
My door buzzes, followed by four knocks.
Just a second.
I'm not expecting anyone, but then again, it can always be Charlotte stopping by for a little chit-chat.
Charlotte?
Why didn't she call? It's probably my neighbor with my package from downstairs.
When I check the peephole, my heart flies into my throat. Shit.
I take a quick glance at myself to make sure I'm proper and smooth out my shirt.
I open the door, clenching my teeth.
What the hell are you doing here? And how the fuck did you find my place?
What? No proper greeting?
He smiles that devilish smile.
What do you want, Trevor?
I...
As a matter of fact, how did you find my place?
Aren't you going to invite me in?
No.
Well, it's kind of hard to explain myself standing in the corridor.
I sigh out loud and open my door wider, inviting him in.
I should have turned him away because since when does the famous booked and busy Trevor Toretto ever visit me?
He glances around my apartment as if he's taking mental pictures, then disgust plays on his face.
My apartment is huge. Not exactly what I'm accustomed to, but change is good.
You've got to embrace change because that's the only way to level up in life.
Nyssa, apartment.
He says, and I know he's fucking lying.
How the heck did you find me, Trevor?
I knew I specifically told Charlotte and Jeffrey to never let him know where I was.
I don't want to believe that they broke their promise.
Jeffrey, because I went to your old apartment and some guy named, uh, Chester, lives there.
I'm going to kill Jeffrey.
Part of my transformation was getting Trevor out of my mind.
And the less he knew, the better it was for me.
Yes, I moved.
Why?
That is none of your business.
It is when this apartment looks nothing like you.
I head over to the couch and grab the remote.
Sean will be back soon.
So you two live together in this shit?
Excuse me?
I'm appalled by his words because my apartment isn't a mess.
It's just creative.
It's chic with a bit of minimalism.
I like yellow.
Yellow is nice.
It's, it's active.
It shows that I'm open to things.
Did I stutter? This apartment feels like a banana threw up in here.
I think I'm getting jaundice.
Well, the door is right there.
This isn't you, Simona, and you and I both know it.
I might say that this has Sean written all over it.
I flopped down on the couch and fold my arms.
Sean and I picked this spot.
Anyway, you gotta go.
He'll be back soon, and he doesn't really like you.
You think I give a fuck about that cheese stick?
I squinted him.
I know he's in Italy for a meeting and he won't be back for the next two days.
What the flying fuck?
I'm going to kill Charlotte and Jeffrey.
My facial expression betrays me because Trevor smiles
and sits on the armrest of the couch opposite me.
Why are you here?
You seem to be ignoring that very question.
Is he living with you?
No, he just pays the rent.
His jaw ticks.
Well, I guess that explains the saffron yellow.
I shoot to my feet.
What do you really want, Trevor?
Did you really come here to berate and belittle me?
No, absolutely not.
Then why suddenly you care about where I live or who the fuck I'm dating?
And why the fuck is the color of my apartment bothering you?
He moves across the living room and holds me by the shoulders.
Come on, Sim, tell me what really is all of this.
I shrug away from him.
All of what?
This apartment, you bringing a date to a private event.
Everything seems off.
For you?
I know you.
Do you really?
What's that supposed to mean?
I let out a loud sigh.
I am tired, tired.
If you have to ask, then what is the fucking point of explaining anything?
He palms the side of my cheek and I hate him for doing that.
He can be so loving and then cold and unforgiving.
Why is he even bothering to do this with me now?
Just when I'm trying to move on from him?
You are evil.
I say in a soft whisper.
Evil.
He thumbs my cheek.
I love you.
I pull away from him, but he yanks me back in.
I, I'm with someone else.
Please don't do this to me, Trevor.
You're with me.
I shake my head.
I'm not going down this road again.
I am not doing this with you, Trevor.
I am tired of...
He kisses me, pulls me close and kisses me.
I kiss him back, deepening it with tongue.
This man is my weakness and he knows it.
He fucking knows it.
I would give anything to be in this man's arms, tasting his sweet lips.
I would do anything to hold on to this.
But I know, I know it always ends in heartbreak.
I break the kiss.
I, I can't do this.
I can't.
Sim.
I'm with Sean.
I choose Sean.
You always do this, Trevor.
You always see me thriving and somehow want to ruin it.
I shake my head.
This time, I choose happiness.
I choose to be free from you.
I am ready, Simona.
I'm ready for us.
I laugh out loud.
Are you fucking kidding me?
I have been preparing myself for the past few months to be with you.
And when I saw you show up with that cheeseball, it broke me.
It fucking wrecked me.
A migraine hits me like a rock to the head.
Get out.
I rush to the door and open it.
You hate to see me happy, don't you?
I finally found someone worth pursuing and here you are with your narcissistic and conceited ass
trying to make it about you.
No, that is not true.
That is not.
Get out.
Please don't do this to us, Simona.
You know we are meant for each other.
You know it.
I know it.
Enough of this fairy tale bullshit.
I'm not falling for this mess again.
16 years.
For 16 years I've waited for you to come around.
To be a fucking man.
To grow up.
I am done waiting.
I'm finished with being a clown.
I don't want to cry.
I do not want to cry.
Trevor stops in front of me.
Please, Simona.
I am 36.
Too old for this nonsense.
I'm tired, Trevor.
Tired.
I'm not even sure if I'm able to make kids anymore.
I had so many dreams.
I wanted to get married.
Have kids.
A beautiful house.
And a loving husband.
But all of that went to shit the day I met you.
But that part of me is no more.
It's gone.
I want all of this to end.
But yet I'm here bearing myself to this man.
I really can't help myself.
God, something is wrong with me.
Simona.
Don't, don't touch me.
I just need you to leave.
I'm not going anywhere.
Trevor gets down on one knee and reaches into his pocket.
Stop.
Trevor, stop it.
He pulls out a dark green velvet box, my favorite color,
and pops it open.
Well, why are you doing this?
Because I love you.
He lifts the box higher, and all I can see through blurry vision
is the sparkle of the diamond ring.
Will you please be my wife?
I couldn't even see anything behind all the tears.
I was foolish.
He continues.
I was stupid.
Too immature.
I didn't think you were going to be my wife.
I didn't think I was ready for a lifetime with you.
But deep down, I knew I was.
But I was afraid.
Afraid that I wouldn't be good enough.
That I would have fucked up what we had.
I knew you deserved the best there was,
and I didn't think I was mature enough to give you exactly that.
I shake my head.
You're only doing all of this because you saw me with Sean.
Fuck Sean.
I bought this ring a week after our New Year's Eve party.
I bought it because I had made a commitment
to clean up my life and make things right with you.
It had also been the reason I didn't bring any dates to any of our functions.
I squeeze my eyes shut.
Look at me, Simona.
I peer down at him.
I was preparing for a moment like this,
where I would get on my knees and ask you to be my wife.
And though I would have loved it to differ from this,
I couldn't ask for anything more than right now.
Trevor.
I'll be damned if another day passes and I don't declare my love for you,
and I'll be fucking damned if I let some custard loving sweater wearing turds
steal you from me.
I stifle my smile.
Now, Simona Andrea Johnson,
will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?
I peer at the ring and sniff.
I wanted him to writhe.
I wanted him to feel a little sense of doubt
that I may say no for all he has put me through,
but this man is patient.
He holds the box up and waits for my response.
I may not have kids.
You may not have an heir to carry on your family's tradition.
I'm-
I don't care.
But I care.
Then we'll do what is necessary.
Even if we have to exhaust our funds,
money is nothing when it comes to both of our happiness.
I exhale a shaky breath.
Yes.
I'm sorry.
What did you just say?
He asks with a smile.
I said yes.
Trevor shoots to his feet and hugs me,
quickly retrieving the ring from the box
and sliding it up my finger.
He kisses me on the cheek.
I love you.
He kicks the door closed and tugs me roughly against him.
Kiss me.
No.
You kiss me.
All I can say is that the moment his lips touch mine,
it was game over.
I fall weakly onto him, letting him take the lead.
This man melts every bone in my body.
Sadly, he knows I'm his weakness.
And he'll use it against me, hopefully for good.
As he peels my oversized t-shirt off,
sliding it over my head,
all I can think about is the night we spent hours kissing.
Kissing because he'd been respectful
to not want to deflower me in the back of a car.
Trevor Toretto didn't think I deserved a treatment like that.
And that was when I knew he was the one
that I would marry him someday.
Trevor lifts me into his arms.
Where's your bedroom?
I point down the hallway.
With every step, he kisses my cheek and shoulders.
God, I love this man.
He lays me gently on the bed and kisses along my chest,
lifting my bra just enough that my nipples pop free.
And God, he can suck me like this forever.
Trevor breaks the connection and flings his t-shirt over his head.
He unzips his pants and kicks everything off,
revealing exactly what I imagined.
I sigh.
He mounts the bed again with his massive erection,
this time settling on his knees and between my legs.
This.
He tugs off my underwear.
And this.
He loosens my bra.
Got to go.
I lean over to my bedside and pull the drawer,
grabbing two condoms and throwing one at him.
He eyes me, confused.
I thought I...
Not so fast, Mr. Happy Go Lucky.
I want to do things the right way.
Get tested, get married, and then try.
All right, fair enough.
Can we get married after our friends?
My eyebrow shoots up.
He rips open the condom.
I'm guessing that's a no.
I want the whole shebang.
A fairy tale.
I want it big and white.
I want it...
He covers my mouth with his.
And before it can register in my brain,
Trevor splits me open and enters,
making me gasp, clutching onto his shoulders for purchase.
This man is so sensual.
He's smooth, patient, yet insanely good.
His dick carefully combs my insides,
hitting the right spots.
Fuck.
I moan into his sweet mouth as he dips his cock in
and out of my pussy with a precise rhythm.
Trevor reaches down and tastes my nipples again
with the tip of his tongue.
I push him over and climb on top of him.
Now it's my turn.
He grips my hips, sliding his large hands up and down my skin
as I bounce on top of his thick cock.
Fuck.
This is it.
This is exactly how I imagined fucking this man.
Ah, Simona.
He grumps under his breath,
thrusting his hips upward into me.
I'm not sure if I'm gonna be able to do that.
I squeeze my pussy around him, letting him fill me fully.
Trevor's stomach dips.
Fuck.
Quickly, I'm on my back and he's pounding into me
like a fucking maniac.
He pushes my legs wider apart and sinks his length into me.
I'm gonna come.
He pulls out and sinks in again.
Trevor.
Pace, more pace.
He grunts.
I grapple for him as my soul leaves my body.
Fuck.
Bliss.
Pure.
Bliss.
Trevor collapses on top of me and I hold him.
I hold him tight.
We stay like this for some time until he reaches up
and circles my nipple with his index finger.
Move in with me.
He finally says.
Not until we're married.
Then I'll get you a proper condo.
What's wrong with this one?
He lifts his head giving me that look.
Fine.
You can get me one.
Trevor kisses my chest and drags off the bed.
He grabs his pants and underwear from the floor
and walks to the adjoining bathroom.
I smile.
His brown butt is so tight I can watch it all day.
Trevor returns and I laugh out loud.
What?
He smiles.
This man has a full heart on.
Nothing.
It's been seven months, Mrs. Toretto.
Seven months.
Then I guess we should bring you up to date.
He grabs the second condom from the nightstand
and rips it open with his mouth.
One doubt, 365 more to go.
I scream with laughter.
What?
Trevor climbs onto the bed and flips me onto my stomach,
slapping me across my ass.
Let's go, baby.
This is the final part of Playing for Keeps.
Thank you for listening.
Kamaya's Closet is one episode away from the end of Season 2.
I hope you have been enjoying this season
and is looking forward to joining me again in Season 3.
The date of Season 3's release will be posted.
So have no fear.
Stay tuned for your final episode.
And if you haven't already, subscribe,
share, and follow me on Rumble.
I'll appreciate it.
Thanks.
Bye.