I am not fine. This morning I woke up and took a shower. I'd completely forgotten about the
hot water not working and stepped into the shower with pride. Let's just say I woke the fuck up.
The water was so cold my teeth shattered. I couldn't even stay a full five minutes.
I washed the important parts and ran out. Since I won't return to work until Monday,
which is exactly four days from now, I'm working remotely. I don't have to worry about smelling
funky. A knock sounds on my door and when I look up it's Alex wearing a plain white t-shirt and
cargo pants. He has cleaned his beard and looks much younger, even more handsome.
Had I been at my home and seen him outside, I likely wouldn't have recognized him.
Hey, I say. We begin talking about my house and how everything is going with my claims.
He even asked if I wanted him to accompany him to the insurance company,
but I figured he wouldn't like the outside idea. I didn't want to put him in an awkward position.
He's already done so much for me, but it was nice of him to ask.
Every waking moment I spend with this man, I realize he's nothing like what the neighbors
described. Alex is only a guy grieving his wife's loss and prefers the comfort of his home over the
company of many. It had taken me weeks before I got back to a normal life after my mom died,
so it's sort of understandable. Now it's past lunch and I haven't seen Alex since
yesterday morning. I want to take a shower and head into town to run some errands,
but I dread taking another cold shower. Yes, it's that bad. I've never ventured upstairs and I don't
feel like it's my place to be. I'm already living in his space and I want upstairs to be his safe
haven. Besides, it might get a little awkward since his wife had been up there. I don't know. Maybe I'm
overthinking things. I linger in the living room for as long as I can and then contemplate going
over to my house. I want to salvage anything I can find, but I know it's not safe to go there.
It can collapse at any minute. When I couldn't take the boredom any longer, I put on my big girl
panties and take a cold shower downstairs. Three minutes. That's how long I stayed in there.
Nothing more. Nothing less. Two days later, I've been through hell. It's Saturday and I can't
honestly tell the last time I've taken a decent bath. If I keep this up, I'll develop PTSD.
I need to do something. Usually I take long baths, long baths where I block out Caleb and
fantasize about Alex. But given my situation with the cold water and living with the same guy I think
about, it's not going to be easy. I mean, Alex has been treating me exceptionally well, making sure
I'm well fed and comfortable, and I've gotten to do a lot of stuff on my house the past few days,
but it all feels eerie. One, I can't deny the growing tension between us, and two,
he's been avoiding me. I see him, but it's for a brief moment, and now I feel like I'm holding
him captive in his own home. I need to get an apartment. That and the fact that I'm terrified
of cold showers and going upstairs. I need a long, nice, hot bath in the tub, but going upstairs when
he hasn't shown his face for the entire morning is pure sin. I don't even know if he's in the
bathroom right now. But I'll be damned if I let this day pass and not take a proper bath.
I head to my room, change, and slowly climb the carpeted stairs. Did he say left or right?
All the doors are closed, so it's hard to tell which is which. Biting my lip I reach for the door
on my immediate left. That's where my bathroom is. And if all the houses are basically the same,
then it'll make sense, right? I turn the knob and push the door. Bingo. Then I enter, locking it
quickly. The bathroom is almost exactly like mine. The tub is on the left with a wide window above,
and the shower is on the right near the toilet and sink. I put the tub to full,
sighing with relief as the warm water glides through my fingers. And when it's full, I sink
into the bubbly goodness. I'm ten minutes in when the door rattles. Oh. Hello? Hi. Yeah. I'm
borrowing your bathroom for a warm bath. I hope it's not a bother. No, that's good. I'll just use
the one downstairs. Sorry. Enjoy. That indeed. And when I think I've soaked long enough and my
fingers have wrinkled to capacity, I take a quick shower and head out. To my surprise, Alex is in
the kitchen stirring a pot, and the place smells goddamn good. I pause in the hallway wrapped in
my towel and my hair dripping. Cooking? Yeah. Uh, do you eat pasta? I'm making Alfredo.
My favorite. Great. I'll go get changed and see if I can come help. Before he can object,
I rush off. I return to the kitchen to find him plating the food.
Wow. So you didn't wait on me? He smiles. I wanted to impress you. Oh, really? Yes.
He sets both plates in front of me on the kitchen island and pushes one towards me.
I know you haven't seen much of me, but it's only because I had work stuff to do.
I take a seat on the bar stool. That's okay. Alex hands me a fork.
And we haven't really talked. Any updates? If you're wondering, I'm looking for a place to stay.
I say, for safe measure. He eyes me. I didn't mean it like that. You can stay as long as you want.
Alex and I are eating, but he is still standing behind the island in the kitchen.
Maybe he doesn't want to sit next to me. I know, but I think it might be best if I find a place.
I don't want to impose. Alex sets his fork down. I don't want you to leave, Freya.
My body stiffens at his words. Well, uh, you can leave, but I enjoy having you here.
And then like a fool, I ask, why? He looks at me confused. Why? I shake my head. Nothing. Never mind.
There's something I need to tell you. I swallow. I swallow hard. It's the way he said it.
Like a warning or an impending doom. When he walks around the counter to meet me,
I push my stool back. Wait, no. He rubs the back of his neck.
Okay, that may have come out wrong. I just need to be honest if we are to move forward.
I narrow my eyes at him. Move forward with what? What's the real reason I'm here, Alex?
He raises his hand in surrender. No. No, not like that. Then he sighs.
The only reason I'm particularly fond of you is because you look like her.
I blink. My wife, Alicia. You look just like Alicia. It's scary, but you do.
I look like your wife? He nods. Alex reaches into his back pocket and pulls out his phone.
He then pulls up a picture of a woman. She… she does look like me. What? What the fuck?
I move away from him. What does this mean now?
You reminded me so much of her. I felt like I'd gotten a second chance. I didn't plan on watching
you naked like some fucking creep on the balcony. But it just happened. And then you saw me and
didn't do anything. I… I just went along with it. I exhale a deep breath.
So the only reason you stayed on the balcony was because I looked like your wife.
He nods. Oh. Maybe I'm mentally ill. Maybe I deserved all the bad things Caleb did to me.
Maybe I'm just addicted to chaos. Because even though my mind is telling me that this isn't right
and he's using me to numb his grief, I see it as something good for this man. For this beautiful,
sad, and detached man. I have this innate urge to comfort, to make him feel good,
to give him everything and more. I… I'm sorry, Freya.
Don't be. His head whips up at me. If that's what makes you feel alive and whole again,
then I want to be the one to do that. Maybe it's better to live in someone else's shadow than
to be my true, broken, and battered self. It might be better than being the girl who couldn't stand
up to her boyfriend. The girl who allowed him to step on, trample, and beat on her.
Alex shakes his head. Freya. We are both broken. We can heal each other, I say.
Not like this. You came out of your house to rescue me. You stayed with me at the hospital.
You even offered me your home, Alex. You have made progress with your life. Tell me it isn't true.
Only because I felt like I was letting my wife down.
You just said you didn't want me to go. What did you mean by that?
I… I like your presence. I like seeing your face. It's like having my wife in the house again.
It's like you're filling a void. This man is spitting facts and waving all the red flags,
and here I am still wanting this mess. Then I'll fill the void if you let me.
Not like this. This isn't good. You'll lose yourself.
I rather lose myself to find myself. You're going to feel trapped with me.
When you were watching me from the balcony, who did you see? Alicia or me?
You. Well, her, but mostly you.
It's the start. Freya.
Then I'll go. He shifts in place. I'll find a place and you'll never see me or your wife again.
It's wrong. This is wrong. I shouldn't be baiting him. I shouldn't be using his weakness
against him, but it's the only way to know what he wants. He scratches the stubble on his cheek.
I don't get you. You don't want me to go, but you don't want me to lose myself.
I'm confused, Alex. What is it that you really want?
I don't know. He moves across the room and then faces me.
I want you to stay with me, live with me, pretend you're her, be you, something.
He drags his palm down his face. Having you around makes things easier.
I feel better. Alive inside. Like I have a purpose. But I don't want you to stay because I feel like
I'm only using you because of Alicia. It's wrong. But I don't want you to go because my life will
become empty again. We are getting nowhere with this. When you were cooking, who were you cooking for?
You. But I know my wife loves Chicken Alfredo. Some part of me hoped you liked it because she liked it.
Some part of me wanted to please you. I stepped towards him. Why did you want to please me?
Because you've been through enough. And as I said, I haven't been around in the past few days.
I didn't want you to feel like I didn't care. Did your wife feel like that? He shakes his head.
No, never. Well, there's a difference. See? You were thinking about me and not your wife.
I take another step closer to him. And when you were on that balcony watching me that Saturday night,
who did you wish you were inside of? His voice rasts.
You. Me. I repeat. Who are you seeing now?
You. I take two steps away from him. I'm wearing a cropped t-shirt and I pull it over my head,
exposing my bra and skin. Was it this you liked watching?
Alex's eyes rake over my body. I peel off my shorts and let it fall to the floor.
I had no plans of seducing him, of having sex with this man. But hearing him talk about how
much he wanted me and how much he wanted to please me makes me want to do the same for him.
There's no denying that this man is attractive and there has been sexual tension between us since
the hospital. But after having such a long bath in the tub and fantasizing about all the things
he would do to me, I am ready for the taking. You don't have to do this. I'm not doing anything
I don't want to do. When he doesn't make a move, I take it that he isn't ready for this kind of
commitment. And it's understood. He hasn't been with anyone but his wife, and it's easier to
watch someone from afar without feeling any guilt. Okay. I say reaching for my clothes on the floor.
I'll stay. I'll fill that void. But I suggest you fill mine too. With that, I grab my plate
and walk off. I awake in the middle of my dream, panting and sweating. It's the second night this
has happened, and it's the same dream from last night. Caleb had broken free from jail and come
to finish me off. This time he shoved me down a flight of stairs and gutted me with a paring knife.
I get out of bed and head for the kitchen for a bottled water. I don't bother turning on the
lights because I practically know my way around now. And what's the use when I'm just going to
get something to drink quickly? I fetch the water from the fridge and almost scream when I turn around.
What the fuck? Alex is sitting at the bottom of the stairway, his dark silhouette facing me.
He stands and makes his way over to the unlit kitchen. Why are you just sitting there?
I couldn't sleep. I came for water. He lifts his hand, showing me the bottle.
And then I heard you screaming and talking in your sleep. I knew I couldn't wake you so I came back
here. I peer at him, and even though we are clouded with darkness, I can still see something of his
tall frame. Oh. Was your dream about him? I nod, unsure whether he can see me. Bastard.
Why were you sitting in the dark? Because it's night. Well, you can turn it on now since the
both of us are up. I rather not. Why? Two things. One, there's some nosy neighbor who's awake
right now that will wonder why the lights are on in my house at this ungodly hour.
I laugh. True. And number two? This. Alex reaches for my free hand and passes it
against his lower abdomen and over a huge bulge. He's hard as fucking steel.
Want to know why I couldn't sleep? I nod. Why? You fucking you, Freya. I thought you didn't want me.
Of course I want you. It's just that I'm battling so much right now. And I have no fucking idea what's
right from what is wrong, what's real and imagined. I set the water on the counter and reached for
his groin, sliding my palm inside and over his erection. Alex is unshaven, making this even more
interesting. I touch him at the tip of his penis and he inhales sharply. I make circles with my thumb,
feeling the slick wetness around his head. It's dark, but one thing's for sure is that I'll
find every part of his goddamn body if I have to. I free my hand from his pants and put it to my
mouth, making loud sucking sounds. He exhales again and I use it as ammunition to push his pants down
and get on my knees. I take his heavy cock in my mouth and suck, stroking the length of his girth.
Alex is huge. He's a fucking gem. I pass the tip of my tongue over the opening of his penis and then
kiss it with my lips. He lets out short, shallow breaths and before I can deepen him into my
mouth, his hand reaches for the back of my head and shoves me onto his cock. He's rough, strong.
I choke on him, not for once thinking about letting up. He jerks his hips into my mouth,
faster, faster. I cough and he lets out an erotic moan. Alex grips me by my hair, letting me up
and pressing me against the counter. He bends me over, pushes my silk nightly up and yanks down my
panties. I like this, Alex. This savage, thirsty and unforgiving beast. He slides his wet cock up my
dripping entrance and presses his palm into my lower back. There's no time to be nice, no time to be
coy or timid. This man is being straight up feral and I fucking love it. He plunges into me and lets
out a loud cry. Then he stills, making sure I can feel every length of his sweet cock. He sinks
deeper, squeezing my butt cheeks together. I rock back onto him, tensing my pussy against him.
This feels good. So fucking good. If this is what his wife had been getting, then I want it all.
Alex is over me, his huge body shielding me on the counter as he enters me fully from behind.
Then he moves slowly, in and out, in, out.
Oh god, I moan his name. He whispers. He quickens his pace, slamming into me like an irate woodpecker.
I'm on the edge. He's hitting every possible spot I can imagine.
Fuck, my body trembles. Alex pulls out and when his hot tongue feeds on my pussy like a fucking
incubus, I climb onto the countertop. He spreads my cheeks wide and digs his sweet tongue into me.
My body convulses. Don't run. He yanks me back and pushes his cock inside me again.
This will be the death of me, to feel, to endure, to taste something so fucking good like this.
Alex moves hard and fast, sending me unhinged, and just when I feel like I can no longer continue in
this life, that I can die happy, he grunts out loud, pulls out, and comes all over my ass.
Jesus Christ, he smacks my ass. Still want to stay? I slide off the counter and face him,
and even though it's dark, I can still see the outline of his handsome face. Definitely.
His warm, soft lips cover mine, and all I want to do is melt away. We kiss like this for some time
until he pulls away. You were exactly as I imagined. I smile at his words. But deep down,
I wonder if his imagination led him to believe that it was his wife, or genuinely me. I want to
ignore the fact that he'd called me Alicia while balls deep inside me, but it's still lingering
in my mind. Alex takes my hand and guides me out of the kitchen. Let's get you cleaned up.
I gladly oblige. However, as he leads me down the hallway back to my room, I can't help but wonder
if he thinks he's talking to his wife, or me. Only time will tell. But in the meantime,
I'm going to enjoy every length and breadth of him, even if I lose myself in the process,
because Alex Horstford is the next best thing in my shattered life, and I'll be damned if I let this
pass me by. Hey Raiders, you have met the end of this four-part episode of The Neighbor. I hope
you enjoyed it and stay tuned for the next episode. And don't forget to subscribe for
episode updates. Highly recommended. See ya, bye!