1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:06,480 Lord, forgive me for I am a sinner. I've always done good by the book. I've always done good deeds. 2 00:00:07,280 --> 00:00:12,400 I've never done anything to dissatisfy you, but ever since Danny Faltrow came into my life, 3 00:00:12,400 --> 00:00:15,760 she has set me back years of hard work and dedication. 4 00:00:17,600 --> 00:00:21,120 Two months ago, when she walked through those double doors with her mother, 5 00:00:21,120 --> 00:00:26,320 I thought she was heaven sent. It might just be blasphemy, but that was how she felt to me. 6 00:00:26,320 --> 00:00:33,200 I couldn't stop looking at her, and I still can't. She is the epitome of beauty. She is beauty. 7 00:00:33,760 --> 00:00:39,680 My plan is always simple. Stay headstrong, serve the Lord, be kind, and become a pastor. 8 00:00:40,480 --> 00:00:45,280 I was 10 when my mom first brought me to church. They sang, and they gave out food. 9 00:00:45,840 --> 00:00:51,920 And it was one of my best days ever. From that day, I had planned to serve the Lord for all the days of 10 00:00:51,920 --> 00:01:01,040 my life. But now, everything has changed since Danny. She's bad. She's rotten. She's everything 11 00:01:01,040 --> 00:01:08,960 terrible for me, but yet I still want her. Danny is the forbidden apple. I know she sees me looking 12 00:01:08,960 --> 00:01:15,040 at her. I always take quick glances. She is beautiful. She is magnificent, a true temptress. 13 00:01:15,760 --> 00:01:20,880 For the time she has been at this church, we've only crossed paths seven times. It is usually 14 00:01:20,880 --> 00:01:27,840 met with a hi, hello or short wave. It's sad because I want more. I want to talk to her. 15 00:01:28,400 --> 00:01:34,720 I want to know what she's like, how she processes things. But based on the whispers and gossip, 16 00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:39,120 especially the ones my mother speaks about, Danny is the one to stay away from. 17 00:01:40,240 --> 00:01:45,600 Danny's mother was a stripper, but now she waits tables. I don't know why they would judge Danny 18 00:01:45,600 --> 00:01:52,160 based on that or the ears of her mother, but that's how it can be sometimes. Our church isn't perfect, 19 00:01:52,160 --> 00:01:59,120 but it helps. I didn't see Danny last Sunday or even the Sunday before that, but I guess she wasn't 20 00:01:59,120 --> 00:02:05,840 in the mood for church or had something else to do. She does that sometimes, disappear, and then 21 00:02:05,840 --> 00:02:12,400 show up. And the crappy thing about that is when she doesn't show up, my mind goes into disarray. 22 00:02:12,400 --> 00:02:18,640 I begin wondering what she's doing and where she is. She's my unhealthy obsession. Today, 23 00:02:18,640 --> 00:02:24,800 I'm sitting behind the pastor on the stage because I'm his assistant. The pastor is also my father, 24 00:02:24,800 --> 00:02:31,440 my stepfather. Richard met my mom at this church, and two years later, he married her and made us a 25 00:02:31,440 --> 00:02:38,640 family. Ever since then, I've loved him as a father and I wanted to do good by him. I follow him as a 26 00:02:38,640 --> 00:02:49,680 leader. I wanted to be a pastor just like him. But now, I just want Danny. My father is carrying on a 27 00:02:49,680 --> 00:02:55,520 sermon and Danny is sitting near the front row. She's watching me. Her eyes are fixated on me. 28 00:02:56,400 --> 00:03:01,360 I don't know why because I have never spoken to this girl. I've had only two sentences with her. 29 00:03:01,360 --> 00:03:08,800 And that's a lot. But Danny always does this. She always sits close to the front and stares at me. 30 00:03:09,920 --> 00:03:15,280 The feelings I get when I look back at her worry me. These feelings are just like the ones I felt 31 00:03:15,280 --> 00:03:21,760 back in high school. I had control over it then. But now it's different. Maybe it's because I want 32 00:03:21,760 --> 00:03:27,520 to act on them. Maybe it's because of her. My father is finished with his speech and everyone 33 00:03:27,520 --> 00:03:33,360 is clapping but Danny. She isn't clapping because she's still staring at me. Despite having an 34 00:03:33,360 --> 00:03:40,080 air conditioned room, I feel hot. My forehead is damp. I get up and leave walking towards the 35 00:03:40,080 --> 00:03:45,920 washroom area in the hallway and wet my face. I would think it should be easier to control these 36 00:03:45,920 --> 00:03:54,000 thoughts, these feelings as an older adult. But it's not. When I was 16, it had been easy. But now, 37 00:03:54,000 --> 00:04:00,720 at 22, it's not. I've had my share of women, but I've never done anything to compromise my faith. 38 00:04:01,520 --> 00:04:08,000 Yes, I'm a virgin, but my lips aren't. I've kissed girls before. But that was it. I never let 39 00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:13,920 it get beyond that. When I'm sure I'm fine and the feelings in my groin area have subsided, 40 00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:19,200 I head back out. The choir is now singing and Danny is no longer sitting at the front. 41 00:04:19,200 --> 00:04:24,560 My eyes quickly scan the room. She usually wears bright colors and today she is wearing pink, 42 00:04:24,560 --> 00:04:30,160 but I'm not seeing the bubblegum pink dress she's wearing. She's gone. Damn. 43 00:04:30,960 --> 00:04:36,000 The week passes and I can't tell you how many times I've thought about Danny. She's on my mind 44 00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:42,960 24-7. I'm reading the Bible stories to the kids and my mind is on Danny. I'm taking a dump, 45 00:04:42,960 --> 00:04:50,640 praying, eating, chatting with my dad about the next sermon and my mind is on Danny. It's unhealthy. 46 00:04:51,520 --> 00:04:56,480 We are supposed to be having a barbecue fundraising event tomorrow, Saturday, and everyone, 47 00:04:56,480 --> 00:05:02,880 including Danny and her mom, is invited. The sad thing is that I don't think she'll come. 48 00:05:03,600 --> 00:05:09,520 She never shows up to any of the events we have. Saturday comes and it's busy. Mom and dad, 49 00:05:09,520 --> 00:05:14,880 along with others in the church, spend the entire morning preparing for the event. By one o'clock, 50 00:05:14,880 --> 00:05:20,560 everyone is here. We are utilizing a community center so we have a lot of space and there's also 51 00:05:20,560 --> 00:05:25,920 a field at the back for playing games. Meredith is in charge of the games, so when three o'clock 52 00:05:25,920 --> 00:05:31,760 arrives, she begins setting it up. I'm sharing plates for the pastries and snacks when Danny 53 00:05:31,760 --> 00:05:39,680 enters with her mom. My heart skitters because I'm not expecting her. She leaves her mom and 54 00:05:39,680 --> 00:05:44,960 heads for the girls she usually hangs with. She's wearing a green t-shirt and short jeans. 55 00:05:44,960 --> 00:05:50,560 The older women are staring and whispering. Danny isn't wearing what we would consider modest, 56 00:05:50,560 --> 00:05:57,840 so everyone is going to talk. But I like it. I like her. The baby tee jersey she's wearing 57 00:05:57,840 --> 00:06:04,160 is exposing her navel ring. It's a gold heart and it shakes every time she moves. 58 00:06:05,280 --> 00:06:11,040 Danny is talking with everyone except me, but I guess I know why. I'm not cool enough. 59 00:06:12,240 --> 00:06:18,800 I get it. I'm the church boy. The pastor's son with no fun. My eyes follow her every move. 60 00:06:19,520 --> 00:06:24,720 She's laughing and talking with them, and though she's only 19, she gets along well with those 61 00:06:24,720 --> 00:06:31,520 in their mid and late 20s. She doesn't see the teenagers as her equals. Now, I just don't feel 62 00:06:31,520 --> 00:06:36,560 like helping my father anymore. It's too much to be standing here watching her. I tell him, 63 00:06:36,560 --> 00:06:41,040 I'm going for a bathroom break, but really, I'm just going in the bathroom to sit and think, 64 00:06:41,040 --> 00:06:46,640 or at least try to erase the thoughts of Danny in my head. I splash my face with water. I'm 65 00:06:46,640 --> 00:06:52,800 handsome. I'm put together. I don't stink. So why does she not want to talk with me? Why would 66 00:06:52,800 --> 00:06:58,160 she stare and not say hi? I know I should be the one to approach her, but it might not sit well 67 00:06:58,160 --> 00:07:04,400 with my mother or anyone else at the church. I'm the good boy. I'm supposed to lead by example. 68 00:07:05,360 --> 00:07:11,760 Being seen with Danny comes like an abomination. The door makes a sound, and at first, I thought it 69 00:07:11,760 --> 00:07:17,120 was someone else coming in to use the washroom. But when I turn, it's Danny standing at the door. 70 00:07:17,120 --> 00:07:22,320 My heart goes into overdrive. My heart begins to speed up, and I can't even move. 71 00:07:23,520 --> 00:07:27,680 She is standing there with her baby T and shorts holding on to the door handle. 72 00:07:28,480 --> 00:07:35,360 She's staring at me, and I'm staring back at her. Why is she here? Why is she in the men's toilet? 73 00:07:36,640 --> 00:07:42,560 She takes another step inside and closes the door behind her, locking it. I take a step back. 74 00:07:42,560 --> 00:07:48,160 I have no idea what she's doing or why she's doing it, but it's not a good time. Here is not the 75 00:07:48,160 --> 00:07:54,800 place. I take another step back, only to realize I'm against the wall. My breaths are now heavy, 76 00:07:54,800 --> 00:08:00,560 and I can't even breathe. Danny moves like a cat, tilting her head as if to observe me. 77 00:08:00,560 --> 00:08:09,600 Danny, I say. It's Danny, right? She nods. And you're Seiko, right? She finally says. 78 00:08:09,600 --> 00:08:14,240 I nod too. What are you doing in here? You know this is the- 79 00:08:14,240 --> 00:08:21,040 Male toilet? I know. She says. Then why? I came to see you, Seiko. Me? 80 00:08:22,400 --> 00:08:28,400 It comes out high-pitched, like a wounded dog. Danny laughs and takes a step towards me, 81 00:08:28,400 --> 00:08:33,200 stopping mere inches from my face. I can smell her. I can even feel her. 82 00:08:33,200 --> 00:08:39,920 Why is she so close? This is not good. This is not good at all. She gives me a little smile. 83 00:08:40,720 --> 00:08:46,320 Relax. I don't bite. Then her eyes drift down my body and stop just where I know it doesn't 84 00:08:46,320 --> 00:08:53,520 feel right. Do you always get this aroused for everything? I shake my head. No. Why are you here, 85 00:08:53,520 --> 00:08:59,760 Danny? You shouldn't be in here. She tilts her head. Why? Because it's the male toilet. 86 00:08:59,760 --> 00:09:06,400 And your presence makes me feel uneasy. How uneasy? You make me feel things. I'm not supposed to be 87 00:09:06,400 --> 00:09:13,040 feeling. My heart is now going at an unstoppable speed. She's so close, I can smell the strawberries 88 00:09:13,040 --> 00:09:21,040 in her hair. Like? Like this, Danny. I point at my pants. I'm not supposed to be feeling like this. 89 00:09:21,040 --> 00:09:26,640 I'm not supposed to be aroused or have an erection. She slides her palm up and over my 90 00:09:26,640 --> 00:09:32,000 shoulder. But it's only natural, Seiko. What you're feeling is perfectly normal for someone you're 91 00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:39,520 attracted to. No. I shake my head. This is not the example I wish to set. I'm supposed to become a 92 00:09:39,520 --> 00:09:48,080 pastor. Oh, do you really want to be a pastor? I nod. What about it? She asks. What about being a 93 00:09:48,080 --> 00:09:54,720 pastor is so great. You, you get to serve the people. You get to serve the Lord. You get to 94 00:09:54,720 --> 00:10:00,560 make it to heaven. You. I stopped talking when Danny reaches out and grips my crotch. 95 00:10:01,840 --> 00:10:06,800 I can make you feel like you're in heaven now. I shake my head, but I don't push her hands away. 96 00:10:06,800 --> 00:10:12,640 I don't stop her. I don't tell her it's wrong. I just let her continue to hold me and shake my head. 97 00:10:13,600 --> 00:10:18,080 How does that feel? She rubs her palm up and down over my erection. 98 00:10:18,080 --> 00:10:25,360 She rubs her palm up and down over my erection. Good, I say. It, it feels good. 99 00:10:26,720 --> 00:10:31,520 Do you want me to stop? I shake my head again, telling her no, when I should have been nodding 100 00:10:31,520 --> 00:10:36,800 to tell her yes, but I don't want her to stop. Her touching me like this feels good, 101 00:10:36,800 --> 00:10:43,200 sinfully good. If judgment is to come now, then I'll. Danny takes her other hand and slides it 102 00:10:43,200 --> 00:10:50,160 up my t-shirt. Jesus, you're ripped. Please don't call the Lord's name Danny. I say through trembling 103 00:10:50,160 --> 00:10:57,200 breaths. She remains quiet, moving her palm up and down my chest while squeezing my groin area. 104 00:10:57,840 --> 00:11:05,680 This is all wrong. I should tell her to stop, but I don't want to. I can't. This is Danny. 105 00:11:06,720 --> 00:11:11,120 This is all the feelings I've been having in my head, all the things I wanted to do with her. 106 00:11:11,120 --> 00:11:19,520 My wishes are coming to reality. When she leans in closer, I smell her neck. I want to kiss her 107 00:11:19,520 --> 00:11:28,560 there, but I don't. I don't give in to the temptations. You smell good, I say. Danny releases 108 00:11:28,560 --> 00:11:34,080 me and steps away, leaving my mind frazzled. I can't comprehend why she's doing this, 109 00:11:34,640 --> 00:11:38,240 why she's stopping, why she's teasing me and then pulling away. 110 00:11:38,240 --> 00:11:46,720 Who sent you? Was it my father? He might do something like this as a test. She shakes her head. 111 00:11:47,840 --> 00:11:52,240 I don't want to do anything you don't want to do, Seiko. But I never told you to stop. 112 00:11:53,440 --> 00:11:58,000 But you never asked me to do it in the first place. Then why would you do it? Why would you touch 113 00:11:58,000 --> 00:12:08,720 me like that? Because, uh, she shakes her head. Because what? Because I don't know, Seiko. So why 114 00:12:08,720 --> 00:12:14,240 did you come in here? Did you decide to play a joke on me because I'm the quiet church boy? 115 00:12:14,240 --> 00:12:18,240 Because I don't talk to anyone other than my parents and people who need help with actual things? 116 00:12:19,760 --> 00:12:26,320 No, it's not that. She glances away. Don't lie, Danny. All right. She rubs her elbow. 117 00:12:26,320 --> 00:12:35,520 No. It's because I like you. You like me? I laugh. Did they put you up to this? Who? 118 00:12:36,240 --> 00:12:43,120 Your friends, the ones you were talking with outside. No. Then why me? Why like me out of all people? 119 00:12:44,240 --> 00:12:49,280 Because you stood out. Everyone is fake around here. People pretend as if they like you when 120 00:12:49,280 --> 00:12:55,520 really they are talking behind your back. At least with you, I can feel good energy. You just be 121 00:12:55,520 --> 00:13:01,280 real and avoid me. I don't avoid you. Is that what you think? Yes, you're not like the rest. 122 00:13:01,840 --> 00:13:06,000 So you came to me. You chose to tempt me because I wasn't like the rest. 123 00:13:07,600 --> 00:13:13,040 My anger is burning inside me. And now I know why she is considered to be the bad Apple. 124 00:13:13,040 --> 00:13:19,520 But even with everything she said, I don't want her to go. Danny turns and moves to the sink. 125 00:13:19,520 --> 00:13:27,600 I'm not the one you want, Danny. I can't give you anything. She inhales and exhales while watching 126 00:13:27,600 --> 00:13:34,240 herself in the mirror. Then she sighs. I'm sorry for coming in here. You're right. This should 127 00:13:34,240 --> 00:13:41,520 have never happened. I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking she runs, but I stop her. Wait. I reach her by the 128 00:13:41,520 --> 00:13:48,880 door. I like you too, Danny. She gives me a half smile, but my words mean nothing. So I take her 129 00:13:48,880 --> 00:13:55,120 small hand and kiss the back of it. My mind was telling me not to do it. And I know I shouldn't 130 00:13:55,120 --> 00:14:01,360 have been doing this. But my heart craves more. I don't remove her hands from my lips. Instead, 131 00:14:01,360 --> 00:14:05,520 I begin trailing small kisses to her wrist and up to the dent in her elbow. 132 00:14:06,720 --> 00:14:11,600 Danny, let's go a small sigh. Tell me to stop, Danny. And I will. 133 00:14:12,880 --> 00:14:17,600 Don't stop. I do a small dance inside my head because I don't want this to end. 134 00:14:17,600 --> 00:14:21,760 The moment I go back out there, it's back to normal. It's as if everything in here never 135 00:14:21,760 --> 00:14:28,320 happened. I prolong my kisses because if I do anything else, I may never come back from here. 136 00:14:29,280 --> 00:14:35,920 Wait, Danny says softly. I start thinking she doesn't want to do this anymore, 137 00:14:35,920 --> 00:14:41,440 and that I'm just as bad as the other guys. But instead, she reaches behind her and unclasps 138 00:14:41,440 --> 00:14:48,480 her bra. It falls away from beneath her tiny green t-shirt. I lose all my senses and my breath is 139 00:14:48,480 --> 00:14:49,520 gone. 140 00:14:49,520 --> 00:14:51,840 Danny, I rasp. 141 00:14:51,840 --> 00:14:53,360 Is this too much? 142 00:14:53,360 --> 00:15:00,400 I remain mum. Answering her might just get me into trouble. She moves to lift her t-shirt, 143 00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:08,560 but I stop her, resting my hands on her chest. Really, it was to stop her. But now my brain takes 144 00:15:08,560 --> 00:15:14,480 it for something else. I shouldn't have touched her because now I want to taste her. I move my 145 00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:22,000 hands over her chest and finish lifting the t-shirt. I'm a bad man. I'm a sinner. Lord, 146 00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:27,520 forgive me because my thoughts and actions are impure. Danny's breasts are now exposed, 147 00:15:27,520 --> 00:15:32,880 and her nipples stand erect. I move my hands over them, and she laughs. 148 00:15:32,880 --> 00:15:35,760 You're acting like you've never touched breasts before. 149 00:15:35,760 --> 00:15:38,880 Because I haven't. She covers my hands with hers. 150 00:15:38,880 --> 00:15:41,040 Good, then. I'll be your first. 151 00:15:41,040 --> 00:15:45,840 When she presses my palms into her chest, helping me need her breasts, she says, 152 00:15:45,840 --> 00:15:48,480 I want to be your first for everything. 153 00:15:48,480 --> 00:15:54,640 My eyes close at the thought of that. My mind wanders to everything ungodly. 154 00:15:54,640 --> 00:16:00,080 Danny is now flush against the door, so if anyone is passing or if anyone wants to use 155 00:16:00,080 --> 00:16:06,000 the washroom, we are screwed. My entire life will be up in flames, and everything I've worked for 156 00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:12,800 is going to disappear in a second. But at this point, I don't care. At this very moment, I do 157 00:16:12,800 --> 00:16:19,600 not care. Danny licks her lips, waiting for me to do something. And then I do the unthinkable. 158 00:16:20,800 --> 00:16:27,200 Before I know it, I lean in, putting my mouth on her breast. I'm sucking hard. I'm squeezing her 159 00:16:27,200 --> 00:16:35,280 against me into my mouth, and she tastes good. So pure. I devour her more. I'm so hard right now 160 00:16:35,280 --> 00:16:40,080 that any mistake, anything I do from this moment can be the change of things. 161 00:16:41,120 --> 00:16:47,200 Danny moans my name out loud, and I stifle her mouth with my other palm. I don't want us to get caught. 162 00:16:48,240 --> 00:16:53,120 She holds my head, pressing me onto her chest as I milk her with my mouth. 163 00:16:53,120 --> 00:16:57,200 She pushes me away, her breath heavy and breathy as if she'd just run a mile. 164 00:16:58,160 --> 00:17:04,880 She drops to her knees and frantically unzips my pants. I don't stop her. She can do whatever she 165 00:17:04,880 --> 00:17:12,480 wants. There's no going back, and I've acknowledged that. Danny yanks my pants and boxers down, 166 00:17:12,480 --> 00:17:19,120 making my penis spring free. It's the hardest I've ever seen it. She takes it into her hand, 167 00:17:19,120 --> 00:17:25,840 and begins stroking it. Pleasure comes to me in two folds. Her stroking me like this 168 00:17:25,840 --> 00:17:33,040 feels insanely good. I groan out loud, and she puts her finger on her lips. This is sinful. 169 00:17:33,600 --> 00:17:41,040 This is wrong, but yet it feels so damn good. She continues to stroke me. Danny lowers her head. 170 00:17:41,040 --> 00:17:51,680 You don't have to. Stop. She fills her mouth with my penis and sucks. Damn it. She's a soul 171 00:17:51,680 --> 00:17:56,800 sucker. That's how it feels. That's how I feel right now, as if she's sucking my very being 172 00:17:56,800 --> 00:18:03,120 of existence. This is raw pleasure. So raw that I don't ever want to go back to not having this. 173 00:18:04,320 --> 00:18:08,880 A guttural sound escapes my mouth. I don't even make it past two minutes because 174 00:18:08,880 --> 00:18:15,200 a burst of relief escapes me right into her mouth. Danny smiles and swallows, licking her lips. 175 00:18:16,080 --> 00:18:22,800 But I'm not smiling. I just came in her mouth. I just did the unthinkable. I had sex before marriage. 176 00:18:23,360 --> 00:18:28,000 I had dirty, unholy sex with the girl I have been crushing on for the last few weeks. 177 00:18:28,880 --> 00:18:34,640 Now, I'm a sinner. I'm a heathen, and the crappy thing about it is that I want to do it again. 178 00:18:34,640 --> 00:18:41,120 I want to have her suck me off and ejaculate in her dirty little mouth. Danny stands and reaches 179 00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:48,880 for her bra. She puts it on, knowing that I'm watching her. I want her. I want her every day. 180 00:18:48,880 --> 00:18:54,400 I want her in my life. I want this. She reaches for the door handle, but I stop her again. 181 00:18:55,440 --> 00:19:01,920 I want to see you again. She smiles and digs into her back pocket, handing me a slip of paper. 182 00:19:01,920 --> 00:19:07,440 This is my number. Call me. She unlocks the door and opens it with a grin. 183 00:19:07,440 --> 00:19:31,440 See you later, Church Boy.