WEBVTT

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Hey girl, sit tight, don't mind the chaos, and

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just smile. Hi besties. What is up besties? It

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is your host Zoe and I am back with another freaking

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episode on the dinner over share podcast today.

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How are you doing my love bugs? I hope life has

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been great. This week has been great for you

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guys. I've had a good week, I've had a slow week,

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but. I hope if your weed hasn't been good, it

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does get better. And if you are new to this podcast,

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well, what the fuck is up? Whoever told you,

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they get a million dollars, all right? But also,

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this is a roller coaster ride you're never gonna

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be able to get off, but you'll enjoy it. I pinky

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pinky promise, okay? And if you're not new, well,

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what the fuck is up? You really already know

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the deal, okay? And honestly, I have no business

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to get into today other than, of course, I have

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bonus episodes up for subscribers only on Apple

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and Spotify. So definitely check that out. I

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would say they're great episodes. And I have

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one, I think a bonus episode coming later this

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week. I don't know exactly what day it'll be

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up, but yeah. some fun stuff. If you end up looking

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for any of my socials, whether it be my personal

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or the Did I Overshares, TikToks, Instagram,

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YouTube, whatever it may be, everything will

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be down below in the show notes. So definitely

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check that out as well. And what is today's episode?

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You might ask. Today's episode is My Ego Hates

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Unpredictability. And this is a thought I had

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to myself this week. I was, what was I doing?

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I was like putting two and two together, but

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I was like on the move. Remember I was in bed.

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I was walking to the bathroom and I got in the

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shower So I don't know if this qualifies as a

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shower thought or just a thought period One of

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the two and I had to realize I'm saying ego but

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like maybe just me. I don't know I hate unpredictability

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and Like I just hate uncertainty like I hate

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that I don't know everything and I hate that

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I can't be prepared nor expect everything It's

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it's an issue. I know I know. Because it also

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ties in with control, right? And in my head,

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I release control, right? And I really do, like

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in my head, I do. But I had to realize why I

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always get back to where I'm at, right? And it's

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like I said, because I hate uncertainty. I hold

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fears over certain things, right? And when I

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say fears, in my head, I'm like, well, I'm not

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scared. And this is how the thought came to be.

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I'm sitting in bed and I'm just thinking about

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a situation and I'm just like, But I'm not scared

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like, you know, like I'm not scared for the outcome

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I know what a workout for me, you know, like

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I have like generally my my gut my soul I have

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no fear when it comes to this venture, right

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this project and I'm thinking to myself literally

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it was like just me putting two and two together

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like real quick in my head and I was like Hmm,

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what is it though? Cuz I know I'm not scared

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What what's the issue? Like what am I missing?

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And I was like, it's because I don't know the

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outcomes like anything could happen. Like I don't

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know and like what if it What if it isn't what

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I think I need to be doing like what if it isn't

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my journey right now and something completely

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different supposed to happen or whatever it may

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be regarding a certain project I was doing and

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I was like I Feel like it's not fear. It's more

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of so uncertainty. It's the fact that I don't

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know The full picture. I don't have all the puzzle

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pieces I don't know if this situation gonna work

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out or I don't know how I don't know What I don't

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know when and I don't like that Don't like that.

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I don't I've I've conditioned myself To overly

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prepare for every single outcome whether it be

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good bad in between whatever the fuck it may

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be my entire life right and and I think I started

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that when I was a child just because like I Okay

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I'm actually currently thinking about this where

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I think it might have started for me is When

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I was little and let's say there was like chaos

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going on around me. I think for me If I had something

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to say like say I had an idea I had a question

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Whatever it may be before I would ask anybody

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what I wanted to before I would do anything I

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would always assess the situation. I would always

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be like, okay What could like if I ask is this

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person gonna get more mad like am I gonna ruin

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the mood more? If I asked like what's gonna happen

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like I would wait every single outcome Every

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single emotion every single thought I would try

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to plan it out I would try to prepare myself

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to be let down. I would try to prepare myself

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to Really expect the worst and I know that's

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bad because when when I first thought about it

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I'm like, oh, it's just the unpredictability

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of it All right, and I tend to have a very positive

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mindset with it. But then I realize I don't it's

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okay because I feel like I Don't know I feel

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like the planning part of it is rooted in fear

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right? Because like I said, I don't know that

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outcome. So I feel like it's unfair to sit here

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and be like, Oh, but I am confident. Yeah, in

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my soul, I might be confident. But the reason

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I feel like I need to prepare for an outcome

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is because I'm scared that it might not work

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out. And where where do I connect those two?

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That's what I'm trying to think. Because deep

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down, yes, no, I'm not fucking scared. But it's

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also doing a disservice to myself to constantly

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live like that, is it not? always thought okay

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it's healthy you know like it's healthy to know

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that okay if something bad happens I'm okay because

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that's that's where I get myself it's not where

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I'm like oh the worst thing is gonna happen the

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world's gonna blow up no that's not really where

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I get where I get is okay well if something bad

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happens it's okay but that's also low -key me

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like expecting something bad to happen I guess

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in my head at least because it takes It would

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be different if both sides were weighed equally,

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like if I was equally as confident as well as

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equally as prepared, right? But I can be totally

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confident, but I'm going to prepare more. I'm

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going to have things I can fall on more. I'm

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going to have little less trust more than I have

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trust, right? And I think that's where the disconnect

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starts. That's why I did like do a disservice

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to myself because it's like, Zoe, why are you

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doing this? but if i think about it it is rooted

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in my childhood it's rooted in me like how i've

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always been i've always been one even if it wasn't

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like projects or anything even if it was something

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small whether like i said a reaction or response

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whatever it may be i was always planning for

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how this could go how can this like what could

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they say to me that would hurt me what could

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what could could i fuck their mood up even more

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could i just put a damper on all of this like

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it would even Get to the point like I wouldn't

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even say jokes because if I would I think about

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a joke, right? I'm thinking okay wait, but what

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if someone doesn't take it seriously? What if

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this is having what if this happens? What if

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this happens and that's literally me Within everything

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in my life and I've gotten to a point where I'm

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tired of it because guess I am confident I'm

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so fucking confident in myself. It's sick. Like

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I love myself so much. It's sick But subconsciously

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I'm over here fight -or -flight. I'm over here

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planning. I'm over here Preparing myself for

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doom and despair, right? And that's not in my

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head. I'm like, oh, but I'm I don't expect to

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doom and despair I'm just ready for it. And that's

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like me telling myself. Hey girl. That's fine.

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Keep doing what you're doing You're just preparing

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you're just ready, but it's also like I don't

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know. It's kind of one in the same, you know

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you you are intentionally unintentionally placing

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fear there and I Don't know. I kind of confused

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myself on where I stand on that to be honest,

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right? Because in my head is it not healthy to

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want to be prepared. Is it not healthy to prepare

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myself to be let down? It is in my head it is

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But me also being me. I'm very much master Manifester

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master. Let's go get it. Let's go get it and

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I can't do that if if subconsciously I'm like,

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okay go go your dreams are there They're good.

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Everything's waiting for you and then mentally

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I'm over here, but like okay prepare for it not

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to work out I it's like I give myself the option

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for shit to fail. Why? Why and I can answer why

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because I have been let down because it I have

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but it's It's life so it's something I've just

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been trying to learn and grasp into myself because

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it is life life is unpredictable We don't know

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where we're gonna be at tomorrow We don't know

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who we're gonna be with tomorrow, and if we're

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gonna have everybody tomorrow, so it's like yes

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life is unpredictable But How can I not let it

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consume me in a toxic way? I think that's where

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I get myself kind of Kind of caught up because

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I hate uncertainty Like I said, not that something

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is ultimately going to go wrong, but the fact

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that literally anything can happen. So I try

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to prepare for literally everything. And I was

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reading a subsec article, I'm going to link down

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below as well, because it definitely helped fuel

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my mind and just gave me some food for thought,

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right? And there was a couple quotes I really

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like. This one is, the painful inability to stay

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present, to enjoy life as it is, and to simply

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observe without strategizing for the next step.

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That touched me so much because something I have

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embraced within myself, I would say within these

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past month or two, is really living in the moment.

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I really realized that I spent so much mental

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time in the future in on what could be, what

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may be, what might happen. How can I prepare

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myself for like an economic fall in eight months?

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Like that's where my head would always be. I

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was never in the now. And I'm going to be honest,

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this is kind of been like this my whole life

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until now. I've never just sat in the moment

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and faced what the fuck is actually in front

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of me. What is today bringing me? And I finally

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have been able to step into that to be like,

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OK, well, today's Tuesday. What the fuck are

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we doing Tuesday? Let's focus on Tuesday. Right.

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And I finally I'm finally getting there. But

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when it says to enjoy life as it is to simply

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observe without strategizing my brain. always

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strategizing the next step. Like I said, it could

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be something big or small. I'm going to think

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about it. I'm going to wonder why, how, what

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can happen, and who can happen with everything.

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It started taking a mental load on me and be

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like, okay brain turn off. I don't give a fuck

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I don't want to give a fuck. I don't want to

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think about bad outcomes. I only just really

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want to think about positive You know if it comes

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it comes I don't really give a fuck right because

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it's like in my soul I tell myself that because

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I know hey you have gotten yourself to a point

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if Let's say you get rejected from an offer.

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Let's say oh, I this doesn't work out or something

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is late Yes, I know I'll be okay, but I don't

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need to constantly reaffirm that in my head.

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I don't have to reaffirm that verbally constantly

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I don't have to keep thinking of okay. Well what

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ways could it be okay? You know how can I prepare

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for it to be okay? I I have learned to give myself

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a break and While that might not necessarily

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be turning my head off I don't allow myself to

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ruminate on so much anymore. You know, I don't

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need to be sitting there in deep thought every

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fucking second of the day for every single thing

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I do. It could be a task as simple as making

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dinner. Well, what if people don't like this?

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What if I cook this wrong? What if I miss an

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ingredient? What if I do this? What if I do this?

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And I'm like, oh, but what if I want to film?

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What if I want to... Like, I'm thinking of everything.

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And it was giving me a headache. I couldn't do

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it anymore. And I'm not doing it anymore. But

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what I just realized, like I said, is it's the

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unpredictability of it all. It's not really that

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I feel unstable or I feel wronged or I feel unlucky.

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Like it's not all these things my brain was making

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it to be. It's more of so my brain is trying

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to cushion a fall that it doesn't even need to

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expect, right? Like I don't need to sit here

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and expect to have to cushion myself. And I think

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for me, it's very ingrained into who I am as

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a person because I've always had to protect myself.

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Like I said, cushion my own fault. Nobody else

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is going to do it for me, which I mean, life

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as an adult, that's how it is. But that was me

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as a child. So it was like, I think as an adult,

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I literally take on every single problem and

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weight of the world, hold it in my head, and

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I'm like, okay, Zoe, how can you prepare for

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every single little thing to make sure you're

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okay? And reality check, bitch, you can't. You

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can't. You literally just have to live, and you

00:13:05.019 --> 00:13:08.360
have to experience, and that's why I have started

00:13:08.360 --> 00:13:10.379
to just focus on what's in front of me. What's

00:13:10.379 --> 00:13:12.159
in front of me? For the day? What's going on

00:13:12.159 --> 00:13:13.299
on Tuesday? What's going on on Wednesday? What's

00:13:13.299 --> 00:13:15.960
going on on Thursday? Let me focus on today.

00:13:16.820 --> 00:13:20.539
That's it. Because I gave myself too much space

00:13:20.539 --> 00:13:22.919
to work with, too many thoughts to handle. I

00:13:22.919 --> 00:13:24.539
don't need to be handling next week's thoughts

00:13:24.539 --> 00:13:26.740
right now. I don't, especially if I already know

00:13:26.740 --> 00:13:28.059
I'm stressed out. Now maybe if I have a little

00:13:28.059 --> 00:13:29.779
time on my hands, I can get that a little planning.

00:13:30.340 --> 00:13:33.120
But like, it doesn't work for me, so I literally

00:13:33.120 --> 00:13:36.100
had to take a step back, let my brain be, and

00:13:36.100 --> 00:13:39.399
be like, okay bitch. relax you're okay you're

00:13:39.399 --> 00:13:41.820
okay what's what's going on today oh nothing

00:13:41.820 --> 00:13:43.399
much you just have to finish a couple assignments

00:13:43.399 --> 00:13:45.980
you maybe have to film you have to do this that

00:13:45.980 --> 00:13:49.480
that's it focus on that focus on it as it comes

00:13:49.480 --> 00:13:53.720
and it's really helped i'm gonna be honest i

00:13:53.720 --> 00:13:57.200
don't i don't think i okay so this is very new

00:13:57.200 --> 00:13:59.419
so there's sometimes where i still fall back

00:13:59.419 --> 00:14:02.720
into this cycle of course it's very normal but

00:14:02.909 --> 00:14:06.330
I think I spend less time in my head now I used

00:14:06.330 --> 00:14:09.370
to spend every single waking moment every thought

00:14:09.370 --> 00:14:13.970
idea anything in my head and doing this has allowed

00:14:13.970 --> 00:14:18.529
me to take a step back and breathe and Turn my

00:14:18.529 --> 00:14:21.830
brain off for a second. Just focus on Whatever

00:14:21.830 --> 00:14:23.490
what the fuck is in front of me like I would

00:14:23.490 --> 00:14:25.649
be let's say I could be out as a social outing

00:14:25.870 --> 00:14:28.090
I wouldn't enjoy that social outing because I'm

00:14:28.090 --> 00:14:29.789
thinking what the fuck comes after the social

00:14:29.789 --> 00:14:31.990
outing. I'm thinking about, okay, well, when

00:14:31.990 --> 00:14:33.769
I get home, I have to do this, so like, what

00:14:33.769 --> 00:14:36.009
also could happen from the better? Like, I wouldn't

00:14:36.009 --> 00:14:38.490
even enjoy what the fuck was happening in front

00:14:38.490 --> 00:14:42.769
of me because I overthought every single thing.

00:14:42.950 --> 00:14:47.129
That was type that I really, really loved. It

00:14:47.129 --> 00:14:50.309
was unlimited potential, which has to be achieved

00:14:50.309 --> 00:14:55.639
now or I will lose it all. That also really just

00:14:55.639 --> 00:14:58.360
just stuck with me because in my head this is

00:14:58.360 --> 00:15:00.399
kind of it ties into the same thing But from

00:15:00.399 --> 00:15:03.580
a different angle It's also like how I said,

00:15:03.580 --> 00:15:06.440
I plan out everything I think of everything so

00:15:06.440 --> 00:15:09.700
this also comes to me when it involves creativity

00:15:09.700 --> 00:15:12.799
when it comes to new ideas or New ventures that

00:15:12.799 --> 00:15:16.320
I want to take I Feel like if I don't act now

00:15:16.320 --> 00:15:19.580
if I don't make this huge now if I don't put

00:15:19.580 --> 00:15:23.019
my all into this now It will never be Right.

00:15:23.019 --> 00:15:25.080
I have to get this done now. I have to do this

00:15:25.080 --> 00:15:27.399
one thing now. I have to figure it out now I

00:15:27.399 --> 00:15:30.379
have to do everything and then my plate there's

00:15:30.379 --> 00:15:32.919
too much fucking on it. I can't I can't pay attention

00:15:32.919 --> 00:15:35.440
I can't get shit done because my to -do list

00:15:35.440 --> 00:15:38.240
has 80 things on it and I haven't started one

00:15:38.240 --> 00:15:40.120
of them because there's 80 things on it and I

00:15:40.120 --> 00:15:43.460
don't know where to start and It's like yes,

00:15:43.460 --> 00:15:46.840
I have unlimited potential, but it's like I have

00:15:46.840 --> 00:15:50.259
to give myself room to breathe and work with

00:15:50.519 --> 00:15:53.480
that potential one step at a time, you know?

00:15:53.600 --> 00:15:56.879
One idea at a time. One idea at a time. And for

00:15:56.879 --> 00:16:00.159
me, that part really hasn't easy. I'm a very,

00:16:01.159 --> 00:16:03.100
I don't know if I would say big multitasker because

00:16:03.100 --> 00:16:05.879
I don't know if I really wanna put that in with,

00:16:05.879 --> 00:16:08.440
with like creativity. But I mean, I would have

00:16:08.440 --> 00:16:11.100
to like, I like doing 80 things at one time.

00:16:11.120 --> 00:16:13.840
I always really have, like I've always had multiple

00:16:13.840 --> 00:16:16.919
different creative outlets all at one time. But

00:16:16.919 --> 00:16:23.470
I think as an adult, I can't as much. Just because

00:16:23.470 --> 00:16:25.649
there is more shit I have to pay attention to

00:16:25.649 --> 00:16:27.490
when it comes to bills, when it comes to house

00:16:27.490 --> 00:16:29.830
and my pets and everything like that. Like there

00:16:29.830 --> 00:16:31.990
is more I have to pay attention to. So I think

00:16:31.990 --> 00:16:35.190
that was a trait I had very much when I was younger

00:16:35.190 --> 00:16:37.710
in high school, middle school, when I was a child.

00:16:38.330 --> 00:16:41.490
I think I was very good at that. But I think

00:16:41.490 --> 00:16:46.269
as an adult now, it's not as easy to juggle.

00:16:46.699 --> 00:16:48.720
So I had to take a step back from that. I had

00:16:48.720 --> 00:16:52.019
to realize, okay, hey, breathe, pick one thing.

00:16:52.279 --> 00:16:54.360
If you want to start this little creative avenue,

00:16:54.460 --> 00:16:56.700
okay, do it when you got time, do it when you

00:16:56.700 --> 00:16:58.720
got money, calm down. It doesn't need to be done

00:16:58.720 --> 00:17:00.679
today. You can do it Saturday. You can do it

00:17:00.679 --> 00:17:02.679
next weekend. Like I'm very much that person.

00:17:02.720 --> 00:17:04.779
If I have a thought, oh, if I want to do something,

00:17:05.220 --> 00:17:07.339
I will, I need to do it today. I need to do it

00:17:07.339 --> 00:17:09.299
today because like, what if I missed out? What

00:17:09.299 --> 00:17:11.400
if I have this thought today because like everything

00:17:11.400 --> 00:17:14.759
needs to happen, right? It was very. very much

00:17:14.759 --> 00:17:17.079
me, right? It's just all over the place. It's

00:17:17.079 --> 00:17:20.460
just, just, just doing too much. And essentially

00:17:20.460 --> 00:17:22.940
that's what it was. I was just doing entirely

00:17:22.940 --> 00:17:25.859
too fucking much. So, like I said, I've started

00:17:25.859 --> 00:17:28.519
changing my outlook because yes, I could focus

00:17:28.519 --> 00:17:33.660
on bad things or what ifs, but why? Also, like,

00:17:33.740 --> 00:17:35.859
it's not something you can cure, but you can

00:17:35.859 --> 00:17:37.779
try to combat it in a way. And like I said, that's

00:17:37.779 --> 00:17:39.460
what I've been doing. I've just been combating

00:17:39.460 --> 00:17:41.839
it the way I know how, what's been healthy, and

00:17:41.839 --> 00:17:44.559
moving slow. I've been allowing my brain to move

00:17:44.559 --> 00:17:47.079
slow. I've moved at like lightning speed in my

00:17:47.079 --> 00:17:48.779
entire life, trying to figure out every step

00:17:48.779 --> 00:17:50.400
of my life, trying to figure out what I'm doing

00:17:50.400 --> 00:17:53.440
at 30, everything like that. Girl, breathe. You're

00:17:53.440 --> 00:17:56.039
fine. Everything's great. And I also just, a

00:17:56.039 --> 00:17:58.819
lot of times I have to remind myself in 21, relax,

00:17:59.240 --> 00:18:00.859
relax. You're not going to be a millionaire right

00:18:00.859 --> 00:18:03.920
now. You're not going to have the biggest house.

00:18:04.000 --> 00:18:07.259
You're not going to have all this. You can, eventually.

00:18:07.359 --> 00:18:09.720
And yes, I will. Like I guess I am working for

00:18:09.720 --> 00:18:13.019
it, but like, Nothing. I think everything needs

00:18:13.019 --> 00:18:15.000
to be done now and how can I do it today? How

00:18:15.000 --> 00:18:16.859
can I get it done today? And then it just it

00:18:16.859 --> 00:18:20.700
just pushes me back It really just creates like

00:18:20.700 --> 00:18:24.220
bumps in a road for me personally now that might

00:18:24.220 --> 00:18:25.859
not work for everybody that might not work for

00:18:25.859 --> 00:18:29.799
you guys perfectly fine but I know the way my

00:18:29.799 --> 00:18:33.180
brain works and it becomes too much I get overwhelmed

00:18:33.180 --> 00:18:36.839
by my own self and Just need to turn a hoe off,

00:18:36.980 --> 00:18:39.500
throw away the key, and lock her up. That's what

00:18:39.500 --> 00:18:45.859
I need to do. So, with this, I have caught myself

00:18:45.859 --> 00:18:49.980
overly observing everything, and I also found

00:18:49.980 --> 00:18:52.059
myself getting obsessive about certain things

00:18:52.059 --> 00:18:54.599
because I thought I could fix this, I could do

00:18:54.599 --> 00:18:56.460
this, I could do this, and I would literally

00:18:56.460 --> 00:19:00.309
get obsessive. I would just... I don't know.

00:19:00.450 --> 00:19:03.630
I would like spiral out of control trying to

00:19:03.630 --> 00:19:06.069
place a number on everything and organize shit

00:19:06.069 --> 00:19:08.609
and just get everything done when I don't need

00:19:08.609 --> 00:19:11.109
to. I feel like my life needs to be messy right

00:19:11.109 --> 00:19:15.049
now. My life needs to not to say not have a direction

00:19:15.049 --> 00:19:17.049
because I very much have a direction on my life,

00:19:17.049 --> 00:19:20.289
but just to be a little bit more free because

00:19:20.289 --> 00:19:22.869
I feel like allowing myself to do that recently,

00:19:23.009 --> 00:19:25.829
allowing myself to be more free and not think

00:19:25.829 --> 00:19:28.089
I know everything, think I know what I want to

00:19:28.089 --> 00:19:32.740
do. It allows me to be open for blessings. And

00:19:32.740 --> 00:19:34.359
something I like to say, I was also preaching

00:19:34.359 --> 00:19:39.259
this to Michi about something like that. And

00:19:39.259 --> 00:19:41.740
I'm like, when we think we know everything, when

00:19:41.740 --> 00:19:44.140
we think we have to plan our next step, I was

00:19:44.140 --> 00:19:47.440
like, it allows us, like it makes us closed off

00:19:47.440 --> 00:19:51.299
to the blessings, you know? What if it is an

00:19:51.299 --> 00:19:53.299
opportunity that we never thought of, but we're

00:19:53.299 --> 00:19:56.529
not giving ourselves the opportunity to Explore

00:19:56.529 --> 00:19:58.329
it because we're thinking of 80 other things

00:19:58.329 --> 00:20:00.190
because we're so focused on every other thing

00:20:00.190 --> 00:20:02.950
We haven't took a step back and just allowed

00:20:02.950 --> 00:20:04.849
things that are meant to us or aligned with us

00:20:04.849 --> 00:20:07.710
at the time to come forth right because in my

00:20:07.710 --> 00:20:11.349
head I Can't predict the future, but I need to

00:20:11.349 --> 00:20:13.829
be able to adapt to it, right? I need to be able

00:20:13.829 --> 00:20:16.309
to change when when life gets messy when good

00:20:16.309 --> 00:20:18.730
things happen when bad things happen And I've

00:20:18.730 --> 00:20:20.349
definitely I can do that. I've gotten myself

00:20:20.349 --> 00:20:23.289
to a point of that so now that I know and I've

00:20:23.289 --> 00:20:26.279
learned to get myself to that point and how to

00:20:26.279 --> 00:20:30.759
heal and bounce back up, that is now the time

00:20:30.759 --> 00:20:33.400
where I can take a step back, where I can allow

00:20:33.400 --> 00:20:35.279
these blessings to come in. Because, hey, I don't

00:20:35.279 --> 00:20:38.099
need to prepare for every fall, but I have done

00:20:38.099 --> 00:20:41.619
the work that, hey, God forbid something bad

00:20:41.619 --> 00:20:44.740
does happen, I'm okay. But I can't focus on that

00:20:44.740 --> 00:20:46.819
anymore. I can't think of every outcome, every

00:20:46.819 --> 00:20:50.220
possibility. I have to just adapt and be okay

00:20:50.220 --> 00:20:54.160
and allow blessings to find me, allow opportunities

00:20:54.160 --> 00:20:57.200
to find me. no matter what, right? And that's

00:20:57.200 --> 00:21:01.180
what I've done. And it has been a beautiful journey

00:21:01.180 --> 00:21:05.240
and allowing myself not to plan everything and

00:21:05.240 --> 00:21:08.259
maybe just allowing the universe to plan it or

00:21:08.259 --> 00:21:11.099
allowing the days to plan it, luck to plan it,

00:21:11.200 --> 00:21:13.460
whatever it may be, whatever you believe in,

00:21:13.980 --> 00:21:18.160
just be open, right? Because we lose that openness,

00:21:18.220 --> 00:21:20.420
we lose that spark when we try to plan, when

00:21:20.420 --> 00:21:25.220
we try to prepare, we lose it. And And I want

00:21:25.220 --> 00:21:27.980
to lose it. So I've taken a step back I have

00:21:27.980 --> 00:21:31.900
given my brain space in time to think about every

00:21:31.900 --> 00:21:34.859
single thing That I want like I know what I want.

00:21:34.859 --> 00:21:38.279
I know what I want my life to look like but I

00:21:38.279 --> 00:21:42.019
also would try to Control the journey on how

00:21:42.019 --> 00:21:45.279
I got there and I've taken a step back I have

00:21:45.279 --> 00:21:47.019
to say I'm not the driver anymore. It's very

00:21:47.019 --> 00:21:50.319
much my life. I'm very much driving but I Don't

00:21:50.319 --> 00:21:52.539
have a route You know, I used to be following

00:21:52.539 --> 00:21:54.960
a map like an eight hour long specific route

00:21:54.960 --> 00:21:56.900
now. I don't have a route. I'm just fucking driving

00:21:56.900 --> 00:22:00.079
bitch. Okay, like I'm just going and honestly,

00:22:00.099 --> 00:22:02.619
it's been a great blessing. I have learned so

00:22:02.619 --> 00:22:05.400
much about myself, but I've also received so

00:22:05.400 --> 00:22:08.160
many blessings because I've allowed myself to

00:22:08.160 --> 00:22:12.140
be open because I've allowed myself to just be

00:22:12.140 --> 00:22:16.220
okay, you know and Yeah, I hope you took something

00:22:16.220 --> 00:22:19.799
from that. I hope it allowed you to turn inwards.

00:22:20.119 --> 00:22:22.680
And maybe you're nothing like this. And you're

00:22:22.680 --> 00:22:26.380
like, damn, high five me. Good shit. Or maybe

00:22:26.380 --> 00:22:27.980
you are something like this. And you're like,

00:22:28.039 --> 00:22:30.779
damn, well, I can learn something from this.

00:22:31.119 --> 00:22:33.000
Whatever it may be, I really do hope you took

00:22:33.000 --> 00:22:35.900
something from today's episode. And I love you

00:22:35.900 --> 00:22:38.960
guys so much. I will either see you later this

00:22:38.960 --> 00:22:41.099
week, but I will definitely see you next Tuesday.

00:22:41.420 --> 00:22:45.069
And I hope you guys have a beautiful beautiful

00:22:45.069 --> 00:22:47.609
rest of the week. Please, if you did enjoy this

00:22:47.609 --> 00:22:49.470
episode, leave a five star rating and a five

00:22:49.470 --> 00:22:51.809
star, not a five star review, but a five star

00:22:51.809 --> 00:22:54.089
rating and a review. I read all your reviews.

00:22:54.269 --> 00:22:55.869
I love you guys so much. You guys are so sweet.

00:22:57.069 --> 00:22:59.549
And I read all your guys' DMs. I talk to a lot

00:22:59.549 --> 00:23:02.470
of you guys on there. Also, so fucking sweet.

00:23:02.809 --> 00:23:05.210
You guys are my favorite people ever. And I really

00:23:05.210 --> 00:23:07.230
hope, like I said, you have a great rest of the

00:23:07.230 --> 00:23:09.509
month. We have an eclipse coming this weekend,

00:23:09.809 --> 00:23:13.380
so. Lock in for that. I pray for you for that

00:23:13.380 --> 00:23:18.099
cuz it's in fucking Pisces. I think No shame

00:23:18.099 --> 00:23:19.700
I know what I'm saying, but like in the clips

00:23:19.700 --> 00:23:24.599
of Pisces So I hope everything goes good and

00:23:24.599 --> 00:23:26.500
you just have a blessed favorite week If you

00:23:26.500 --> 00:23:29.259
need links to Instagram's the sub stack link

00:23:29.259 --> 00:23:31.240
you want to check that out? Everything will be

00:23:31.240 --> 00:23:34.480
down below that writer was amazing chef's kiss

00:23:34.480 --> 00:23:42.380
and I love you guys so much. Bye you