Hey girl, sit tight, don't mind the chaos, and
just smile. Hi besties. What is up besties? It
is your host Zoey and I am back with another
freaking episode on the Did I Overshare podcast
today. How are you my love bugs? I hope this
week has been beautiful for you guys. It's been
beautiful for me. And like I said, I hope August
is doing good. I say it every episode, but I
really, really hope. You guys, August is doing
good. I do weekly polls and honestly... When
I ask the girls, hey, are we doing okay? Are
we doing bad? Or do we still need a million dollars?
We all still need a million dollars. And now
I handed out some, you know, in the form of memes
this week. So if you're not following Did I Overshare
Instagram and TikTok already, make sure to do
that. If you can't find it, the link will be
down below in the show notes. You know what else
would be down below in the show notes? My email.
So if you want to share a story on Did I Overshare
podcast, whether it be venting, a girl talk,
a story that's just crazy, You can do that. Also
down below. It's great. It's great. We have a
great community here. And if you are new, what
the fuck is up? Welcome to this damn roller coaster.
It's gonna be hard to get off. Actually, you
might not be able to get off. Actually, gates
are locked. Okay? You can't get off. If you're
not new, well, you already know what the fuck
is up this week, okay? You already know. So last
week, I did film two videos. I posted some bonus
content, which if you don't know, it is available
on Apple and Spotify. You can buy a monthly subscription
or a yearly subscription and you get bonus episodes
about things I like talking about. Things that
are working my nerve or on my mind at the time.
Whatever it may be, they're my thoughts or whatever.
Last week was free will versus fate. And it was
a deep dive. Not really a deep dive, but like
I threw in some stuff from Crime and Punishment.
So yeah, I definitely say subscribe and listen
to that because it gets real. It's unedited over
there. It's real good. It's real messy and good.
Okay, but definitely check that out. And what
is today's episode y 'all? You might ask. You
might ask what's today's episode. Today's episode
is Finding My Authentic Self. And I titled it
My Authentic Self because I'm talking about what
I've been doing, but I also mean, how can you
guys find your authentic self? And so when I've
been writing this, my main focus wasn't really
like, how can I say it? Like I wasn't like, oh,
here's a deep dive on myself and finding myself
and what I like. I kind of know what I like.
For me, I was targeting content creation and
things I want to do, putting myself out there
or maybe simply just curating an Instagram, curating
whatever it may be. because I'm gonna be honest
I found myself being performative a lot in the
past I really did and I think now when I get
to a place and I see those videos I I'm gonna
be honest I really just want to delete them but
I don't I don't delete all of them I delete some
but some I don't delete because I'm like okay
Zoe this is your progress here you know this
is this is your past just let it be this was
you at one point but when it comes to content
creation It feels very forced. It feels very
like a to -do list, a checklist, or like a perfect
thing that you need to be like amazing at. And
I know you guys might understand this too, like
people who do want to create content, people
who do want to make TikTok videos or, you know,
whatever it may be, just put yourself out there
on the internet. I think there's a lot of stress
when it comes to it because what we open, I think
every time I open TikTok, I'm seeing a video.
Oh, you want to go viral? Here's the steps to
do it. Oh, you want your TikTok feed to love
you? Here's the steps to do it. You need to interact
with these people. You need to post at this time
of day. You need to have a niche. You need to
do this. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Bitch,
I want to breathe. Okay, and it also I low -key
lost myself on that creator journey I'm gonna
be honest because I think I was posting what
like, you know, the normal things Oh do my makeup
with me do my skincare get ready blah blah blah
And now granted these are things I like doing
like I'm a woman Okay, like I do like doing things
I love doing my makeup and I'm not against posting
a little makeup video like I love that but conforming
myself into a box and Trying to be perfect and
follow these rules and look like every other
video like everything is so repetitive now like
I'm starting to hate social media I started hitting
what I was posting cuz I'm like girl first of
all this isn't even you okay? Like it is but
like not to an extent like I'm not I wasn't showing
my personality. I wasn't Doing anything new.
I it's like every single video you've seen it
was a bitch doing their makeup No shade so bitches
do their makeup. You know we're all out here
living But for me, I was just like, girl, be
different, be you, do something because it leads
to burnout, right? When we do follow in these
lines and try to do what other people are doing
just because it works for them doesn't mean it's
going to work for us. And I think you're always
seeing some advice just like, oh, niche down,
find a niche, blah, blah. And if you don't know
what a niche is, it's kind of like, I don't know
why I was going to describe it. I don't have
an actual textbook definition, but I can describe
it to the best of my ability. It's like, topic
or an idea or a setting or a vibe whatever something
that is kind of smaller something like the makeup
niche that's a niche cooking niche you know what
it's like a category of some sort right of your
interests and I found myself putting myself in
niches that these famous women were doing you
know these big creators everybody else was doing
and it didn't work for me it didn't work for
me because first of all that's not me I'm low
-key like I hate to say it like I love myself
to death, but I am a mess and Every time I would
open my camera or try to film I was worried about
oh my gosh. My house isn't aesthetic enough I'm
not a second of you know, maybe I don't have
the money to do this I'm not doing this blah
blah blah and it kind of it lets insecurities
like I wouldn't Would sit down and I would want
to post so bad right and then I would never post
because I'm like I actually don't like how this
looks in the background Like I don't live in
a luxury high -rise. I live in a normal ass like
apartment like What and it's and it's things
like that that are detrimental. Let me be honest
that shit doesn't matter but then I'm gonna be
honest if we want to understand the real side
of it a Part of me you see on social media all
the time and people are like, oh be your authentic
self be your authentic cells You have to understand
what comes with that. Not everybody likes that.
Not everybody likes that. But that is your calling.
That is what you need to be doing, is finding
your authentic self, getting in that niche of
you. You are the niche. You are the project.
You are the little idea. Whatever the fuck you
come up with, it doesn't need to be your content.
It doesn't need to match. It doesn't need to
be a day in my life. It doesn't need to be this.
It can be a video of you hitting the wall. Oh
my gosh, for example, I have a favorite creator.
Y 'all probably don't know who it is. Like if
I just say it off rip, you've probably seen her
before. If you look her up, her name's Bella
Hadid on TikTok. And like it is the real Bella
Hadid. Like it's not the model Bella Hadid low
-key stole her swag. No shade. I'm just playing,
okay. But I love her. She's so authentically
herself. And if I could act like that's like
my personality through and through like in the
house, right? And in my head, I'm like, oh, if
I could act like that on camera, like, I would
feel so free. But then me being me, I'm like,
ooh, motherfuckers are gonna think I'm weird.
But then again, people already think I'm weird.
And so, let me tell you how it worked. Let me
tell you how it worked. Because I started doing
this in my podcast. I'm gonna be honest, when
I first started my podcast, yes, it was good,
right? I have y 'all here, clearly. Y 'all fucked
with me. But, I'm gonna be honest, I was always
outsourcing. I was always like, well, what should
my episode be today? You know, what are the health
girlies listening to right now? What's big in
self -help? You know, I was always looking for
something that was trendy, something that was
big. I wasn't... sourcing from inside. I was
sourcing from outside for ideas. And now I'm
not saying that's wrong or anything like that.
But none of it, I would say, was totally me.
I was trying to put myself in standards. I was
trying to put myself in all these boxes of, hey,
what's relevant right now? What's going on right
now? Which a part of that, yes, do that. Because
clearly if it's relevant, people like listening
to it. But then you also have to understand we
as humans we don't want to hear the same shit
50 times in 80 different ways We really don't
like I've been seeing a lot on tick -tock when
you open it's like everybody has a fucking thing
feast Which I have kind of two opinions on that.
I think everybody should have a thing piece I
think everybody should but when it comes to social
media, I think we all Don't know I don't know
how to I don't know what to say like I don't
know how to describe it I think we all just sound
repetitive everything sounds the same like It's
like this radio aesthetic at this point. I'm
just scrolling and scrolling like it's so boring
now and I don't like it I don't like it because
when you come to those creators that are truly
authentic themselves like some like Mickey Quinn
Like I said, Ms. Bella Hadid, like people like
that. Those are the people I like watching because
I like shit that's fun, right? But I also like
watching people who do have those niches like
Monet, Aaliyah's face. Like I love those girls
as well. So I, but I think one thing those girls
do different. So let's say if I'm talking about
like Monet and Aaliyah's face, like those two
are my big hitters right now. So those two, what
I would say, yes, they have a niche. They're
kind of in like the beauty world and everything
like that. But They have their own community
they have their own Voice right and I think a
lot of the times when we're doing content when
we're trying to put ourselves out there in the
world We we lose our own voice. We we tend to
get off track Okay, we tend to make other people's
ideas other people's voice a reason our voice
a reason and it can't it can't be like that it
can't because you won't get anywhere and Now
you might Luck happens. I'm not I'm not hating
on you. You definitely can't I believe in you
But I'm saying if you stay true to yourself and
find out what you want to talk about what's on
your mind today Hey, you are really interested
in this. I'm sorry. I just hit the mic again.
You're really interested in this You want to
do this you want to do that? I promise you you'll
find the people that match for you because when
I started leaning into this I would say around
end of last year for my podcast, I really was
like, hey, let me hone in on what I think. What
topics are bothering me right now? What do I
wanna talk about? And honestly, a lot of the
things I talk about is something I'm currently
dealing with in my life, like what's happening
right now in my life. So I was like, okay, Zoe,
what do you wanna do? How do you wanna go forth?
How do you wanna be different, right? And so
for me, I was like, okay. Just go off what you
want to talk about and go off your own opinions.
Yeah, read articles, you know, get knowledge,
do all that, but form your own voice, form your
own opinion and share something new with the
audience. Now, there are going to be things that
I say that you have heard before, but in a different
way. I'm delivering it different. I'm doing something
different, and I really was priding myself on
doing that. Hey, be different. Have an audience.
And the audience I have built around this podcast,
I have the best listeners. Hate to say it, like
I am a little biased, but I think I have the
best listeners. What the fuck can I say, okay?
Y 'all are cool as shit. But it's like once I
started acting like myself, I'm gonna be honest,
I lost a lot of followers. I lost a lot of followers.
Lot, but every time I lost a fucking follower.
I got a new one every single time Still to this
day. I wake up with multiple follows from people
all around the world simply because I chose to
Navigate myself in a different way now that's
speaking for my podcast now I do think I still
have an issue when it comes to content creation
recently I've been trying to pick up the phone.
I've been trying to do this, but meeting me.
I'm gonna be honest. I still get to a point when
i'm like hey i don't have makeup on hey don't
look like this like there's a little bit of i
wouldn't say it's comparison right but like when
i'm lazy in my bare face and i just have a big
ass t -shirt on i don't think i'm tiktok ready
and that's my head that's that's my opinion but
I think I need to get past that as a person right
because only do you really want to be seen? Do
you want yourself out there? What do you want
to talk about? But I'm still finding that I'm
still finding what I want to talk about I'm still
trying to find my niche. I'm honest and one of
them I'm really good at is books I know I talk
about books a lot, but that is something I lean
into a lot But I have a whole different book
page. I don't have it as my main tick -tock Right
and mind you I've had that page since like freshman
year. That page is blessed. Okay, but I don't
like I stopped it. I'm gonna be honest. I deleted
it like almost every single video on there and
I don't know like the reason I did is because
I got embarrassed I got embarrassed because I
was like, okay Well, what if people see this
and people are like, oh, she's corny. She doesn't
I thought too much about it. And where did that
put me? behind What did it do put me behind?
The feeling of embarrassment not fucking real
Nobody's worried about you for real. And so what
if they don't follow you? So what if they don't
like your videos? I'm gonna be honest. The people
that like my videos are people I don't know.
All the people that I have as my followers and
friends that I've had for years, people that
I know in real life, people that are blah, blah,
blah, blah. They don't like my shit. They watch
my shit, but they don't like my shit. Like they
don't interact. And I'm gonna be honest, I've
gotten to a point where I don't follow those
people. I don't follow a lot of people. And it's
simply because I also don't want to be one of
those people. Hate to say it like I just feel
like a monitoring spirit at that point if I'm
not interacting with your Instagram post if I'm
not Interacting with your tip -tock or anything
and it I just follow you because I know you I'm
gonna unfollow you because what the fuck do I
need to be staring at your life for if? Not to
say it, but I don't really give a damn right
like I don't want to look at some shit I don't
like and then just start hating that's just not
I'm not about to send you that energy I'm not
I'm just gonna follow you we don't got nothing
common. We don't got nothing to talk about but
what's there? but that has helped me get comfortable
with what I post, with what I do. When I'm saying
this, I want you, when it comes to posting, to
find the authentic you. Find that maybe they
can say these, but I don't even like saying these
at this point because honestly, whatever the
fuck's on your mind, whatever you want to yap
about, I promise you the people who need it,
the people who need that help, they will come
for it. Remember how I told y 'all whenever I
feel my cats will be sleep all day and then the
second I turn on this damn mic They get rowdy.
They get rowdy as hell Go, I'm not really not
in the mood for your shenanigans. Okay, I'm not
We had to have that conversation anyway When
it comes to creating content when it comes to
putting yourself out there whether that be an
aesthetic in Instagram or Pinterest, whatever
the fuck it may be stick to you Stick to what
you like. Stick to things that make you feel
good because I promise you, you will get rewarded.
I made a post and it was like where creativity
goes, money flows, and success flows. Like everything
will follow when you're being creative. I think
a lot of the times when the creator says, we
need to start treating ourselves like we're human,
not like we're a brand. And I know when we go
online, we see the opposite of this, right? We're
told we need to treat ourselves like a brand.
We're the business. But when you put all that
pressure on yourself to fit into and conform
to things that you see, shit does not work out.
I hate to say it, but you're not, and it might,
you might get one video that blows up, you might
get this, but how many of those people stayed?
How many viewers did you retain? How many people
commented? How many people interacted with you?
How many people actually followed you? Versus
when you posted something that actually... came
off as authentic and came off as you something
that you were really excited about and passionate
about and feel good about how did that look how
did that look and now this might not all be one
thing this might not all be the right answer
and oh hey this is how you do it this is the
key to that some shit works for people you know
niching down and doing a little makeup video
that works for some people and bitch you're bad
that's what i gotta say that's what i gotta say
you gotta like that But for me, I know it didn't
work for me. So I was just like I'm actually
just cringed out right now Like Zoe you are trying
to be somebody you're not so please relax But
when we also talk about this, it doesn't even
only have to be content creation, right? Something
I might make an episode on this but there's this
thing called destiny swapping right and now this
isn't me like I'm not fully getting into this
and I'm not fully saying that oh You know liking
and being inspired by other things is destiny
swapping. That's not what i'm saying, but I am
saying When it comes to your how you look your
aesthetic how things are Let's say you have somebody
on instagram. You really like how they look you
like how everything looks You start changing
all your shit to be like that. You start dressing
like them acting like them posting highlights
like them doing all of this shit Babe, babe,
check yourself immediately. It's okay to to have
inspiration i'm never denying that like this
nigga just jumped on my laptop like genuinely
what are we talking about guys i don't i'm about
to call his daddy i can't he does this but why
don't i film here we are just you're really interrupting
my podcast episode and i don't think they want
to hear you truly i don't anyways you know what
i'm keeping that in i'm not editing that out
You guys have to understand what I'm going through,
okay? But listen, it's okay to take inspiration.
That's literally what life is about, especially
as a woman. Like, everything is inspo. Like,
hey, I love your outfit. How can I put a spin
on that? How can I make that my own? How can
I do this? But copying somebody's verbatim, babe,
that gets a little scary. I'll be honest, one
time I have a business, I haven't launched it
or anything like that, but it's still like in
the works behind the scenes, right? And I remember
I had a whole concept, I had my colors layout,
I had fonts, I had everything going on, right?
Somebody else had a business and those was completely
opposite to mine, different color, different
everything. So for a couple of months passed,
like that business wasn't really going anywhere,
right? And then suddenly every single question
about the business was, hey, what color should
I do this? Hey, what should I do this? What should
I do this? What should I do this? And then I
never peeped until then, but literally at the
end I realized their new business colors, business
fonts, and everything looked exactly how mine
did. Exactly. Even though in my heart, I knew
that got nothing to do with them. Right? They
don't like that. But mine was working, so it
was like, hey, mine should work if I do this
too. I promise you, it might not. Now it might.
A lot of people steal each other's swag. It's
cool. It's cool, but I think when you stick to
what you love, what colors you like, what type
of image you want to present yourself in, and
if you do like how somebody else is doing that,
think, okay, hey, I like this. How can I make
you me? How can I put up my own little twist
on this, right? Because it would be unfair to
say, hey, don't take inspo. First of all, that's
literally what the fucking world is. We all take
inspo from each other. That's fine. But you cannot
do it like copying verbatim. It's the same thing
when it comes to content creation We see a makeup
video we see her sound we see that hers went
viral We see what the steps she did how she looked
in it her hair was slicked back Oh mine has to
be slicked back blah blah blah that might not
work for you, but also It's a little unfair to
that person to fully take their idea, right?
Now coincidentally a lot of shit is gonna look
the same like we're all on the same internet
Lot of a lot of shit is gonna look the same,
okay? But try if you can to make it your own
because I promise you you will feel so great
You will find that authentic voice that authentic
part of creation That you always wanted that
you always needed and I promise you you will
reach the audience now. This isn't me saying
Oh, you're gonna get a million followers from
this. I still don't got a million followers.
That's cool. That's fine But you might get five
new people You never met that genuinely interact
with every video and comment and love you and
that's worth way more I promise you it is knowing
knowing you inspire people knowing you help people
and make people want to be better be more and
oh hey she has really good fashion inspo I really
like that I'm gonna take those ideas but I'm
also gonna put my own spin on it like that also
feels good I promise you a lot of the times people
don't get mad because you use them as an inspo
only when it's done verbatim then it gets a little
fucking weird okay but It feels good when people
use it as an inspo because it's like damn Hey,
I love that on you. Actually you you spun that
in a way I would have never did and I love that
flex with that So now maybe you're there info
now, you know now your heart is back bouncing
ideas back and forth, right? and so my final
message to this is when you're posting content
when you're creating things, whether it be just
an Instagram feed, whether it be actual content,
video making, doing things like that. Stop seeking
for approval. Stop looking for the perfect box
to fit in. Stop looking for all the rules. Stop
listening to all those TikToks where it's like,
oh, hey, you need to interact with your main
feed. You need to do this. You need to do that.
No, you need to be you. Right? You need to push
for what you want and how you want your life
to look and how you want to express yourself,
you know? What voice, which memo do you want
to give off? Right? And that's the sum of my
message today. I hope you guys did enjoy it and
I hope you took something from it. I hope a party
was like, hey... Now I feel like I can step closer
to my authentic self. Hey, I actually don't know
what my authentic self is Let me go look for
things I like and figure out how I can make that
me how I can personalize that Look for that search
it because you don't what if you don't know you
don't know what you like You don't know what
you want to look like. That's fine. That's perfectly
fine. It is perfectly normal, but Search for
it find it go on Pinterest Pinterest my number
one place. Love it. Love it down Open up Pinterest,
go to people you are inspired by and see hey,
how can I make this me? How can I do a spin on
this? How can I take this but adapt it, right?
And yeah, let me know how that goes for you guys.
If you get anything from that and anything changes,
right? Did you go viral, right? Or did you get
a couple new followers that actually interact
with you and enjoy you and listen to you and
understand your message? Right? Let me know.
I love you guys so much. Thank you so much for
listening. If you did enjoy this episode, please
leave a five -star rating and a five -star review.
They helped me so much, and I love, love, love
reading your guys' reviews. So much I can learn
from, so much. They're just very joyous to me.
So I love you guys so much, and I hope you have
a blessed rest of the week. I will see you next
Tuesday also with more bonus content. Bye! you