Hey girl, sit tight, don't mind the chaos, and
just smile. Hi besties. What is up besties? It
is your host Zoe and I am back with another freaking
episode. I only did an overshare podcast today.
How are you doing lovebugs? I hope the week has
been swell and fun. Well, we're in the second
week of August. August has been good to me, I
hope it's been good to y 'all. Today's episode
is quite literally a brain dump. You know, we
do one of these every once in a while and Bigzoe
got a lot that she just wants to brain dump and
yap about and just talk about, okay? But before
we do get into today's episode, if you do enjoy
this episode, please leave a five -star rating
and five -star review. Not a five -star review,
just a review period. Don't really know where
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You guys are my besties. I love you guys so much.
But please do that. It really does help the podcast.
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If you're new well what the fuck is up and thanks
for hopping on this crazy ass roller coaster,
and if you're not new well Then you already know
what's going on, okay? But yeah today is a brain
dump episode, and I just have a lot of things
I just want to talk about so let's get into that
okay, and where do I want to start? I'm looking
at my list in front of me Also, it is storming
really bad. I feel like it's storming everywhere
though around the United States right now. So
whatever so if you hear that Be mindful So the
first thing I have down is that piqued my interest
was digital art And I have been loving digital
art so much and I have been wanting so much of
it for my podcast specifically But I'm gonna
be honest y 'all. I can't draw for shit. I can't
and like the some some pieces of digital art
I have made for my podcast They're cute. They're
all right. They're wry. But I feel like they
could be better. And I just I'm not a good drawer
anyway. Like I kind of suck at it. So I'm really
trying to navigate that because you guys don't
know how much it costs to like have somebody
do it for you. And then a lot of people don't
do commissions or they don't do it if it's like
for a podcast or something like that. So. You
kind of got to be careful where you're going.
So I try to do a lot of shit like hand drawn,
but it really is hard. It takes up so much storage
and you would think like, I pay a lot of money
for storage on my phone. I'm still running out
of storage, y 'all. Still, still. But digital
art, I've been loving it. I've been seeing it
everywhere. There has been these TikToks recently
where I'll be like, I don't know how to describe
the vibe. I really wish I could just show it.
Be like kind of like an alien futuristic world
kind of in this girl like she'll just be talking
to you or she'll be doing something something's
going on and They're just so vibey. I love it
And I really want to paint that picture for some
of my podcast videos that I post on the social
media So I'm really gonna try to figure out how
to do that in how I can do it Like maybe I need
to buy an iPad. I don't really need to know Like
where I'm gonna go, you know, because I've drawn
on an iPad before for some of the digital art
And it's like, it's cool, but you also kind of
have to have skill. And I'm not a good drawer.
I don't think I have that much skill, if I'm
gonna be honest. Love myself dearly. But when
it comes to drawing, nah, not really there. But
next! Interior design and I don't know if I've
ever talked to you guys about this, but I definitely
one of the things I want to pick up in the future
I definitely want to be in interior designer
at some point not as a full -time You know because
we know I do 80 million different things But
definitely like as a side side hustle do decorate
people's houses. I love decorating my own house.
I think Gave me unlimited money ice and I thrift
a lot of my decor and it's great but I also love
home goods I love everywhere I love shopping
for my house like right now I'm looking at new
couches and like I want I was thinking like a
gray couch because I have the green love seat
you guys see but I'm just kind of like I kind
of wanna spruce it up I want to spruce it up
but then I'm like okay but gray would be good
because what if I just get gray I can decorate
around that I can keep this couch for years I
can also repurpose it put it in different bedrooms
when we get a house and 80 different things but
it's just gray it's just gray it's just gray
so I'm thinking about that I have been thinking
about that I have been reworking my bathroom
so far not like really interior design but like
Decoration wise because I do live in an apartment.
So it'd be kind of hard to do wallpaper and all
that stuff and I It scares me a little bit because
I just feel like The all the paint and everything
would come off with it. I'm gonna be honest So
I don't really get into the wallpaper and stuff
at my apartment, but I definitely want to I've
also been redoing my kitchen But I just, my living
room, I feel like is the focal point of my house.
And I definitely want it to be the focal point.
I want it to stand out. So I've been looking
for good artwork pairs that I can do together,
that I can put on the wall. But it's so hard.
So hard. And then of course, my ideas change
every day. Right? And good furniture is like,
expensive, expensive. Like, I don't know if you
guys ever seen those things, but it's like when
someone would be like, oh my gosh, I've said
like 80 times. Need to work on my filler words,
but I'm human so they're gonna happen over our
list, but they'll have You know how you'll see
like those Twitter posts I used to see all the
time It would be like if you had a million dollars
or unlimited money to shop at one store. What
would you choose? I would choose a furniture
store. I would maybe choose a Wayfair I maybe
choose like something where I can get a lot of
furniture. Maybe I go to home goods, but like
home goods like one of their biggest buildings
because furniture is so expensive so expensive
especially for good quality furniture you know
i've definitely succumbed to buying that cheap
shit and it's like i've gotten dressers the dressers
aren't even wood for real like this is like a
wallpaper this is like a stain give me real wood
give me authentic wood and like i love rich pieces
i also hate like a sterile home like i hate all
white Ikea furniture like oh drives me insane
drives me insane I want a lot of different mixtures
of textures feelings motherfucking I want you
to walk in here and the feng shui is so 10 out
of 10 like I know how to curate a vibe but it
costs a lot of money in a curated vibe and I'm
not worried about the money I'll get it but what
I am saying is I wish I was granted one of those
all free shopping sprees. But I also want to
decorate other people's homes. I want to curate
other people's visions. And you know, people
come to me here, hey, here's my Pinterest board
because, oh, I'm just gonna tie this into thrifting.
Because in that same sense, like, I feel like
I can read people's moods so good. Like, okay,
for example, my love language is gift giving.
Whenever I'm out and about and I know something
somebody likes or like something that reminds
me of somebody, I'll take a picture or I'll get
it for you or something like that. I love it.
I love curating a vibe for people because I love
people's vibes, right? So, ooh, she really would
like that. This matches her. I could build a
whole living room design based off of that. Like,
what the hell? And I just, I really want to do
it. I really, I really am gonna do it. Just got
to figure out how to get there. Okay, but time
letting with thrifting I would do style bundles
for people on depop and I love thrifting I love
thrifting for myself. I love thrifting for my
kids in the future. I love thrifting furniture
I love thrifting for other people Like my depop
10 out of 10. Okay, I love thrifting I haven't
thrifted in like a two three weeks two three
weeks. That's just cuz I've been busy. I've been
busy, but I desperately Love thrifting like after
a long workday. Let me stop a good well. Let
me let me stop at savers real quick Let me stop
at the Salvation Army because when I tell you
my best decor pieces have came from thrifting
and like they don't really be paying attention
So like I got these elephants these stone elephants
Literally, I think for $10 and it was a parent.
This is real stone dude real stone Like, what
the hell? I love the decor in my house, but also
I just love thrifting. And so like I said, I
would do style bundles for people, like, whether
it be alt, whether it be grunge, whether it be
hippie, whether it be bohemian. I love it. Because
I feel like, first of all, me personally, I feel
like I already have 80 different aesthetics going
on, right? I'm all over the place. But then I
can do it for somebody else. I can do it for
somebody else. Ooh, but you would look good in
this. Let me, you want this? In a size small.
Let me, let me ship it to you. you need that
nice large let me ship it to you let me say i
loved my girlies loved them but i'm gonna be
honest i'm low keeping off depop i'm low keeping
off depop and i don't it's like the second i
took my attention away from it it wasn't as popping
i was depopping every damn day my orders were
coming through and i remember i woke up one morning
i was like actually i don't really want to do
this and then It was quiet. I didn't think of
it. It was outside out of mind. But now that
I think about it, maybe I should head back into
it. Like it's a really good side hobby. Just
because I feel like it creates such a passion
and creativity, wait, creative spark, not creativity,
but creative spark, I want to say, in me personally.
Loved it. But yeah, that's what I wanted to talk
about thrifting about because why not? Love it.
I'm gonna be honest, I'm gonna skip to this one
hood. Like... That's okay, I'm not editing. Hey.
We're a little slap happy today, that's what
happens. I am tired as shit. I did not sleep
last night. So, I need a nap. I will just stay
up. I think we watched like eight movies, bro.
But, if I sound a little slap happy, that's why.
But, bear with me, love me. Thanks next mafia
smile and and I know we I talk about this quite
often quite often But I truly don't think as
a book person who reads like up to 400 500 books
a year. I Genuinely don't think there's a better
category than mafia. I don't and I know that
might sound redundant I know my sounds stupid
but okay. Also, I'm gonna put this out there.
I'm not a fantasy girl the only the closest I've
gotten to fantasy was like the shatter me series
like twilight like that because my cup of tea
I can't imagine a fairy fucking me I'm sorry
and I know that might be crazy because I know
a lot of people and I'm not judging you if you
do I'm not but it's something I can't get into
it's like I've tried I can't and that's okay
but I I'm not good with the fantasy rex and I'm
also not really that much into thriller And that's
probably weird. I listen to True Crime all the
time. The closest thriller I've gotten was like
Verity, The Housemaid, stuff like that, but it's
not my number one book. I am a romance girl through
and through. Through and through. But nothing
brings me back like a good old mafia smut. And
let it be from Wattpad. Let. And I know you're
probably like, girl, we haven't used that since
we were kids. Yeah, but I just rediscovered it.
Nico Blaine, hello. How are you? Guys, please,
I'm thinking about it again. Y 'all, I'm thinking
about it again. I need everybody to calm down,
okay? Everybody calm down. I need to calm down.
There is nothing like it. Okay, we can have bad
boy. We can have a billionaire romance. Okay,
wait, hold on. Let me also say one that I kind
of love that's kind of underrated, a good college
romance. That's your peer. And if y 'all know
who I'm talking about, for all the big book girlies,
step to the fucking front. There is nothing like
a book husband. Nobody will ever understand a
book husband. But like I said, I don't think
a book can bring me back together like a mafia
book can. Just because I feel like, okay, so
I write. I remember one time I tried to write
a small town because I do love a small town like
I'm not picky I read all type of books but I
love a small town romance as well but it's just
I remember I was writing I was like oh there's
not enough plot there's not enough drama like
yes you can have like a little small town rendezvous
where like some shit happens or somebody's corrupt
or you know all these other things but it's never
gonna be quite like a mafia man getting his girl
kidnapped getting her back Killing a whole empire
because of it mind you the man didn't even have
feelings hates people doesn't touch people doesn't
even look at people when it comes to her There's
nothing like it I be sitting in bed kicking my
fucking feet holding on to my Kindle for dear
life. Oh my lord And this is not me romanticizing
the mafia. Never get that twisted around here.
Never. But a book? Yeah, I'm gonna get lost.
I'm gonna get lost. I read some of the best mafia
series and I feel like I'm running out. Like
if we think about Rafael Visconti, right? If
we just think about him for one second. If we
think about him for one second, my Mr. Gentleman.
I love that man. I do and he's not even real.
But that's the good part about it. Because we're...
Well, no, I did find a great man. It is real.
Okay, but listen, no, seriously. If you guys
are not into books, I'm telling you, a mafia
romance will probably, it will get you into books.
And now, I understand dark romance isn't for
everybody. But you also have to understand that
mafia romance doesn't strictly mean like dark,
dark romance. Because when we, when people think
of dark romance, their first thing is like haunting
and hunting out a line. I'm gonna be honest,
that was probably one of the first dark romances
I read. My opinions have changed as I've gotten
older but that second book I'm gonna be honest
I don't think nobody ever needs to read that
second book ever The worst thing I've ever read
in my life like I think I felt the trauma I was
there like she literally got sex traffic It was
oh my god, and then they're bringing it to live
-action for what? for what I In my head that
doesn't need to be live -action, but I'm gonna
be honest. I've read dark romances that are worse
And I know it's not everybody's cup of tea, but
sometimes I get down with the dark romance, but
I'm gonna be honest There was this dark romance
is called graves and it's two twin brothers.
Their last names are graves now that shit I'm
gonna be honest. It was a DNF for me just because
I was like, whoa Alright, this is a lot Just
because I've grown to learn How I work I love
a man that growls. I love a man that is kill
everybody but her Don't let anything touch her
or you're dead. Don't even look her way and you're
dead, but he treats her like a princess. That's
my kind of book. And I don't care if I have to
read the same type of story 80 times, different
characters, different plots, the same vibe. I
love it every time. I love it every time. But
we got Dom, King, I can eat bro. Like it gets
ridiculous over here. But like I said, I'm also
not picky when it comes to books like I love
a good billionaire romance. I love What a good
wet hat romance. I love a good black romance.
I love a good small town romance. I'm not picky
Give me some loving I'm here. I'm all for it.
I'm easy. Okay, I'm easy over here giggling in
bed, but it's okay And that's why I love writing
it, but I'm gonna be honest in my book right
now I really am I'm stuck on a smuts theme and
it's just because like I forgot how like Don't
know it's like as a grown woman. I'm very very
confident like I'm very well -versed on sex I'm
very good on it, but holy fuck if I said I didn't
get shy like fuck like I'm actually writing this
and it's like I've done it before I've done it
forever, but it's just and people gotta breathe
this oh my god I was like what if they know me
like oh Like it's kind of stressful for my main
male characters name is Vince Vince, you know,
and her name is Maya Love it ten out of ten my
first book low key is almost at a million reads
bro low key High -key the high -key high -key
high -key though, but low key was shit. Like
I made it when I was a child But clearly people
like it, but I will never go back and read that
or edit it I'm gonna be so honest will never
in my life because I will not secondhand cringe
I won't it's just not part of me. It's not part
of me, but enough about the books Oh, this one.
I wish I didn't hate the ocean. I truly wish
I didn't hate the ocean. Um, the ocean's beautiful,
but I also, first of all, I can't swim that good.
Can't swim that good. But it's like the ocean
terrifies the shit out of me. I will not go on
a cruise. Michi hates that. He wants to go on
a cruise so bad. And I'm just like, like, no,
world. I can't go on a fucking cruise. Like,
I'm terrified. We don't even know what's in there.
Why the fuck would you want to go sit on top
of that and then have you to? That fucking shit
bro, like with them big -ass waves. No, thank
you. No, thank you. Mm -hmm Not for me like and
then every I feel like the ocean don't like me
either Like you my sorry girl, but like I feel
like the ocean don't like me either. No shake
cuz I've been going in there what when we went
to South Carolina Last year we went to South
Carolina bro. It was my first time there mind
you it was stormy But we got in the water a little
bit and when I tell you every time I'll step
in the water wait Look Take it back. Oh, I can't
breathe. Oh, I'm under the water. I'm flying
flying through the fucking air like Please please
please though. I can't if I can't see the floor
I'm not going in but like low -key same things
as lakes I'll be in a lake lakes don't scare
me But I'm gonna be honest if you leave me sitting
there for one second. I'm going to be like what
the fuck is under me Oh my god, motherfucking
Nessie's about to come and bite my coochie lip
off. Holy fuck I'm scared. Like that's what goes
to my brain. Understand that. But I also kinda
got PTSD this one time with these girls I used
to be cool with. We all went to a lake. They
were swimming to this buoy in the middle of the
lake. Like I said, I can't swim that good. Can't
swim that good, okay? I can save my life, I think.
I can save my life. I just can't tread water.
That's my issue. But nobody ever taught me how
to swim like literally I almost drowned in front
of everybody when I was a kid and I had to save
myself I had to save myself. So that's why I
kind of got my little instincts, right? We're
going to this buoy in the middle of this fucking
I wouldn't say lake It was no the lake but we
were like kind of close, you know ahead of the
buoys but far as fuck bro, like you got to know
how to swim And then bitches are either left
me didn't even turn around I'm in the middle
of lake and I just remember I was so out of breath.
I just kind of stopped and I'm just like I have
a little my hands going a little bit a little
bit and I'm just like if I die out here it might
happen like that's the first time in my life
I think I really accepted my fate I was like
okay Zoe you might die out here like you might
drown and then the bitches didn't even turn around
to see if I was okay like I'm telling you like
10 minutes passed they're partying and I'm just
I was like, yeah, I can't. And I'm talking like
this was my best friend. I'm like, oh, I can't
breathe. I think this is it. And I just remember
sitting there, and I was like, God, well, I mean,
it was like a journey. It was like a journey
while it lasted. But fuck. And you know what?
I had the idea. I was like, you know where I
can swim? I can swim on my back. I flipped over
on my back, and I caught all the breath I needed.
And I just kind of waded myself back to shore.
I'm like, oh, fuck no. Yeah, I fucking know this.
I'm not about to do this adventure again. Which
funny enough, Michi, 10 out of 10 swimmer. Like,
oh my goodness. But I can't even, I don't even
like him going in the ocean. I'm like, Michi,
if you go out too fucking far and a wave gets
you, I can't fucking save you. So now we're both
gonna be fucking dead. don't stress me out like
I just I wish I loved the ocean like I wish I
was a girl who would want to go surf and do all
this shit but honestly I hate the beach I hate
Stan getting stuck in my asshole like I'm not
a beach person I'd really rather be in the woods
hate to say it like I'd rather go to Washington
than I would Florida if that makes sense and
I wish it wasn't like that I wish it wasn't like
that But it's also like I kinda hate being in
a bikini because first of all you gotta shave
your puss and then you're putting on a fucking
bikini and now you're getting fucking razor burn
and shit like I'm stressed out thinking about
it. I'm stressed out thinking about it. Okay.
I love a pool though. I love playing mermaid
in a pool. Don't get it, don't get it misconstrued.
It's like an ocean, but I love a pool. I love
a pool y 'all. Next, rage bait. I am so easy
to rage bait. And let me say this, I'm not easy
to rage bait by men. Men cannot rage bait me
because I, like, they just can't. I'm sorry.
Like, they don't. But every time I open my TikTok
feed, I'm rage baited. And it's like, I just,
ooh, I get so angry. Like, and this is coming
from someone who works so well. on emotional
regulation, calming herself down, making sure
I'm level -headed. You know, I don't really allow
myself to get heated and everything because I'm
like, okay, I gotta contain myself. We got a
life to live. We got a fortune to build, right?
But God knows. God knows never to put me in no
funky ass situation where I'm in a grocery store
and somebody tries some shit with me. I'm sorry.
I am so easily rage -baited because yes, I got
time today, actually. I got time. i got time
today and then i'll be in comments i'll be the
tick dot comments whole paragraph typed and then
when i get sent into that paragraph like zoe
for what delete delete because i'm like actually
this isn't my life i don't have to respond to
this i don't have to listen to this and it just
be like just the crazy out of your ass shit and
so much is racist and sexist it just People are
so ignorant But then I'm just like some people
really aren't like some people just do it for
views and some people are just fucking stupid
You can't argue with stupidity But I sometimes
want to I want to I'm gonna be so honest. God.
I know I gotta work on it I'm so easily rage
baited. Actually, I do get rage baited by men
when I'm on the game when I'm playing the game
with the boys, holy fuck Cuz who are you telling
what you're telling me to go to the kitchen You
fucking bitch, do you even know how to make a
sandwich? Fuck out of my face. Fuck out of my
face. Actually, no, I'm sending Michi to the
kitchen. I hate when people are trying to be
sexist and shit. Like now, is this gonna get
me canceled? Maybe I shouldn't say that. But
like, okay, my response now, life has gotten
so serious. I'm just gonna say it. This is my
podcast. Okay, listen, don't cancel me. Life
has gotten so serious in this world. My rage
bay has turned into I'm not arguing with you
no more go to hell die get out of my face I can't
argue with stupidity anymore. I can't cuz I will
explode home. I Will explode I will explode because
shit is too serious for motherfuckers to be joking
Shit's too serious for you to be stupid right
now. The world is dying We are dying. So yes,
I'm barely holding on and I'm trying not to succumb
to The enemy of the rage bait, but I'm just gonna
let you know sister has been down. Okay next
Hmm I want to get into No No, oh I'm not to graduate.
I'm gonna graduate college. That's kind of crazy
kind of crazy I've thought about dropping out
so many times every time accounting and economics
came around the corner I was ready to go. I was
ready to go and I don't even know why I picked
this funky ass major Like I was originally supposed
to be an English major. How did I get over here
in the math? How did I get over here? With a
minor in human family development, like how do
we get here? I just really just be doing shit
Okay, and is it bad if I said like I wish if
you didn't have to pay for like school and shit
I wish I could just go back and not be graded
and just learn and take all those fucking classes
like I'm I download like those courses Harvard
gives out like the free courses on like all the
random shit because like I wish I could just
learn without having to be graded without having
to be tested and having to pay for it Just give
me all the doctorates. Okay, I'll sit here and
read it And every time, I'm just like, damn,
am I getting older? Because I'm always saying
about going back to school and I haven't even
graduated yet. I haven't even graduated yet.
And I don't like school. I don't. I loved school
my whole life. And then we got to college. College
will test you, OK? If you aren't in college,
listen. Don't fuck. OK, hold on. If you are in
college, don't fucking drop out. I don't care
how hard the day is, how hard the month is, how
hard the class is. Don't drop out. as a woman
get your fucking education because if nothing
else you got something to hold on to you got
something to stand up for but i'm telling you
it's normal to want to drop out it's normal to
want to give up okay because i've been there
so many times i'm like well like like i'm a podcast
i have all my businesses and stuff like i don't
like like girl you need something it is you need
to be educated even if you hate it You need to
be educated. Sorry if y 'all hear my funky ass
cat. He's been sleep all day. Oh, now he has
energy. Oh, just like every other episode. Okay.
Anyway, Zeus. Next thing, I want a black cat.
I can't get a black cat right now. We got too
many. We need our house first. But I want like
every color. Michi was like, oh no, I want another
orange cat. Yeah, if you don't get so far the
fuck out of my face. Absolutely not. Absolutely
not. I want a black cat though. I have a gray
cat. I have an orange cat. I want a black cat
or I want like a like a tortoiseshell like a
calico type of not really a calico. I've had
a calico and it's too close to fucking order.
They still lowkey off the rockers. But I want
like a fully black cat not even a tuxedo. I want
a fully black cat. Don't know. I love the little
voids. I love cats overall and we have two dogs,
too But it's like I don't know if anybody else
relates to this my cats and my dogs don't interact
and we've had them all like for we've had my
Stormy since me and me she got together. She
was originally their parents kitten and Moved
out we took her with us. Um, we got Zeus cuz
this little homeless ass came up when I was Picking
up my fucking Nordash order outside the apartment
and he was walking by and I said hey, bro What
are you doing? his crazy ass came up to me and
we've been beefing ever since um but they don't
interact like sometimes the cats will like swing
on the dogs if like if we're yelling at the dogs
because they just did something wrong and we
tell them to go sometimes the cats will chase
them but not in a mean way like where they're
hurting them or like attacking them or anything
but they i don't know who the fuck they think
they are but like they don't interact i always
see like tiktoks of their cats laying on their
dogs and everything they don't sometimes it'll
get real awkward and They'll walk up to each
other and say just sniff each other and then
it's like the dog gets too close to the cat will
like jump But the cat's also the one sniffing
the dog like it gets really fucking weird over
here. Okay, y 'all I don't But yeah, they don't
really internet interact I have other topics
I want to talk about but I'm not really that
serious and I feel like I can make episodes off
other things I have so many more episodes written
down. I'm also about right after this episode.
I'm going to fill my bonus episode So it is oh
since you guys you guys need to buy the subscription,
okay? Okay for my baddies is $3 .99 a month $34
.99 for the year All right, and the episode is
fate versus free will crime and punishment. Mr.
Dovinsky I don't know if I'm saying his name
right But even when we read the book it was Look,
look half the shit in the book. I didn't know
how to speak Russian. Okay, but yeah, that was
today's episode I hope y 'all just sat down and
kicked it if you're driving be safe Love you.
If you're on the couch. Well, what the fuck's
up? And if you're doing anything else, you're
still cool. Okay I love you guys so much and
I hope you have a blessed August and a blessed
week, a blessed time. And like I said, have a
great day. Bye.