WEBVTT 00:00:00.660 --> 00:00:03.779 Hey girl, sit tight, don't mind the chaos, and 00:00:03.779 --> 00:00:07.480 just smile. Hi besties. What is up besties? It 00:00:07.480 --> 00:00:09.919 is your host, Zoe, and I am back with another 00:00:09.919 --> 00:00:12.859 freaking episode on the Did I Overshare podcast 00:00:12.859 --> 00:00:16.640 today. How are my besties doing? I hope you guys 00:00:16.640 --> 00:00:18.920 are having a great week. I know it just started, 00:00:19.300 --> 00:00:21.320 but I hope it's been great to you, nonetheless. 00:00:22.460 --> 00:00:26.300 And if you are new... What the fuck is up? Thank 00:00:26.300 --> 00:00:28.460 you for joining this brother coaster. If you're 00:00:28.460 --> 00:00:30.359 not new, you already know what the fuck's up. 00:00:31.440 --> 00:00:33.119 What's today's episode gonna be about? You may 00:00:33.119 --> 00:00:37.719 ask. Today's episode is ending the cycles called, 00:00:38.299 --> 00:00:42.039 Healing is Refusing to Repeat the Cycle. Right? 00:00:42.380 --> 00:00:44.929 Right, right, right. And... Like I said, ending 00:00:44.929 --> 00:00:47.570 the cycles. Before we get into this, if you end 00:00:47.570 --> 00:00:49.750 up liking this show, liking this episode, please 00:00:49.750 --> 00:00:53.229 leave a five star rating and a review. It helps 00:00:53.229 --> 00:00:55.770 me so much. It helps the podcast grow. And yeah, 00:00:55.869 --> 00:00:58.750 thank you so much for listening and listening. 00:00:59.710 --> 00:01:01.950 So like I said, the title of this is going to 00:01:01.950 --> 00:01:07.310 be healing is refusing to repeat the cycle. A 00:01:07.310 --> 00:01:09.109 couple of different things I want you to think 00:01:09.109 --> 00:01:13.269 about as we talk about this today, building something 00:01:13.269 --> 00:01:16.769 new. seeing the pattern in this, feeling the 00:01:16.769 --> 00:01:20.549 grief, losing relationships, having boundaries 00:01:20.549 --> 00:01:24.750 and standing firm on them, getting therapy. When 00:01:24.750 --> 00:01:26.510 things come up, like the patterns and stuff, 00:01:26.670 --> 00:01:30.010 like I said before, name it, see it, you know, 00:01:30.150 --> 00:01:34.530 describe it. How is it? And I think the reason 00:01:34.530 --> 00:01:37.650 why I wanted to talk about ending cycles is because 00:01:37.650 --> 00:01:42.170 I feel like no matter where you are in life, 00:01:42.269 --> 00:01:44.370 how far you are, you are going through a cycle 00:01:44.370 --> 00:01:46.989 at that point. No matter what it is, you could 00:01:46.989 --> 00:01:48.930 be going through multiple different cycles. Cycles 00:01:48.930 --> 00:01:52.390 are all across the board. Some I have written 00:01:52.390 --> 00:01:56.909 down are, what, like trauma, family, friends, 00:01:57.150 --> 00:02:00.849 work, money, our triggers, how we apologize. 00:02:01.049 --> 00:02:04.329 There's cycles in everything and how we learn 00:02:04.329 --> 00:02:09.039 and grow. I think starting from childhood, everything 00:02:09.039 --> 00:02:11.580 kind of starts, everything kind of builds. And 00:02:11.580 --> 00:02:14.000 whether we're talking cycles as in ancestral 00:02:14.000 --> 00:02:15.979 cycles, things that have been going on in your 00:02:15.979 --> 00:02:19.340 family forever. My cat is about to be a menace. 00:02:19.340 --> 00:02:22.560 Just want to let you guys know. Things that have 00:02:22.560 --> 00:02:25.879 been going on in your family forever or cycles 00:02:25.879 --> 00:02:30.080 of addiction, cycles of bad friendships, cycles 00:02:30.080 --> 00:02:34.900 of bad jobs. bad money habits. There are so many 00:02:34.900 --> 00:02:37.939 different cycles that we deal with as humans 00:02:37.939 --> 00:02:41.240 and I feel like I wanted to touch on that because 00:02:41.240 --> 00:02:43.439 I think going through these changes and having 00:02:43.439 --> 00:02:46.620 these cycles is a beautiful thing but it is a 00:02:46.620 --> 00:02:50.780 very exhausting thing at the same time and I 00:02:50.780 --> 00:02:54.699 think not enough of us give ourselves grace for 00:02:54.699 --> 00:02:57.300 going through this and also being aware of it 00:02:57.300 --> 00:03:02.979 and being the one to take it on. So yeah, choosing 00:03:02.979 --> 00:03:07.360 yourself is, in my opinion, number one in breaking 00:03:07.360 --> 00:03:10.699 a cycle. And no matter what the cycle is, I think 00:03:10.699 --> 00:03:15.900 that choosing yourself is the strongest thing 00:03:15.900 --> 00:03:18.680 to lean towards first, like not fixing money 00:03:18.680 --> 00:03:21.840 or doing something else irrelevant. I think a 00:03:21.840 --> 00:03:24.219 cycle starts with you. whether it be something 00:03:24.219 --> 00:03:26.120 direct or indirect that you're dealing with, 00:03:26.159 --> 00:03:28.300 I think it starts with you. How are you approaching 00:03:28.300 --> 00:03:31.620 this? How have you been dealing with this? How 00:03:31.620 --> 00:03:33.740 did this even come to fruition? Like, you know, 00:03:34.000 --> 00:03:37.460 what are we doing here? And two, I think one 00:03:37.460 --> 00:03:40.639 of the best things in my opinion that I've learned 00:03:40.639 --> 00:03:43.479 when going through cycles is for me, I think 00:03:43.479 --> 00:03:47.379 patterns come into play. I know personally for 00:03:47.379 --> 00:03:49.759 me, let me know if it does for you guys as well, 00:03:49.979 --> 00:03:53.530 but When I start getting into situations, I like 00:03:53.530 --> 00:03:56.110 the same things start happening like they did 00:03:56.110 --> 00:03:59.469 years prior or months prior with like the same 00:03:59.469 --> 00:04:02.210 but kind of different situation. But the principle 00:04:02.210 --> 00:04:04.370 is still the same at the end of the day. But 00:04:04.370 --> 00:04:06.449 what I'll notice is the same things are happening 00:04:06.449 --> 00:04:09.509 or the same things he being said or I'm feeling 00:04:09.509 --> 00:04:12.490 the same or somebody is reminding me of somebody. 00:04:13.090 --> 00:04:17.480 That's when you know, hey, This might be a pattern 00:04:17.480 --> 00:04:19.560 and this might be another cycle we need to break. 00:04:19.720 --> 00:04:21.819 Is this another lesson you need to learn? What's 00:04:21.819 --> 00:04:25.300 going on here? Like, how can I analyze this situation? 00:04:25.759 --> 00:04:28.660 And I think analyzing situation is our number 00:04:28.660 --> 00:04:33.120 one goal when it comes to a cycle. So let's say, 00:04:33.560 --> 00:04:39.959 what's a good one? No, I don't feel like I'm... 00:04:39.959 --> 00:04:43.639 Okay, let's say the cycle is going back to your 00:04:43.639 --> 00:04:48.180 ex, right? Why, why are you going back to your 00:04:48.180 --> 00:04:50.639 ex? I think in my, what works best for me is 00:04:50.639 --> 00:04:54.279 locating a feeling first. Or like, why, why do 00:04:54.279 --> 00:04:57.160 I feel the need to do this? So, and let's say 00:04:57.160 --> 00:04:59.720 this is the case of your ex. Oh, maybe it's, 00:04:59.819 --> 00:05:02.139 well, I keep going back to him because you know, 00:05:02.519 --> 00:05:05.420 he's just, you know, he's somebody I love. I 00:05:05.420 --> 00:05:07.819 don't want to find anybody new. I want you to 00:05:07.819 --> 00:05:09.899 locate that emotion, locate that feeling, locate 00:05:09.899 --> 00:05:12.680 that why, get a reason. And like I said, no matter 00:05:12.680 --> 00:05:14.360 the situation, why aren't you into the gym? Why 00:05:14.360 --> 00:05:16.259 aren't you doing this that the other? What is 00:05:16.259 --> 00:05:18.939 this relationship with this person? Why do you 00:05:18.939 --> 00:05:22.420 feel that way? What's going on? Like a lot of 00:05:22.420 --> 00:05:25.959 the times we'll get you can some can say it's 00:05:25.959 --> 00:05:28.920 our intuition. Some can just say, you know, we've 00:05:28.920 --> 00:05:31.199 dealt with a lot of shit. I think a lot of times 00:05:31.199 --> 00:05:33.199 it's both. Usually when you're in a situation, 00:05:33.259 --> 00:05:36.439 no matter what it is, we get a feeling like something, 00:05:36.639 --> 00:05:38.740 something feels wrong, right? Something feels 00:05:38.740 --> 00:05:41.389 not right. It feels like kind of a split decision 00:05:41.389 --> 00:05:44.310 needs to be made. Let's say it's like speaking 00:05:44.310 --> 00:05:46.110 up about something. Hey, do I say something or 00:05:46.110 --> 00:05:48.209 do I keep it quiet or do I say something for 00:05:48.209 --> 00:05:50.050 once and actually address my feelings or am I 00:05:50.050 --> 00:05:52.709 going to be quiet? Am I going to do this? Where 00:05:52.709 --> 00:06:00.449 are you at, right? I definitely forgot what else. 00:06:03.650 --> 00:06:07.069 And when you notice where you're at, I want you 00:06:07.069 --> 00:06:10.709 to, in turn, start making those necessary changes 00:06:10.709 --> 00:06:14.350 in order to make these patterns different, in 00:06:14.350 --> 00:06:17.889 order to learn your lesson, per se, or learn, 00:06:17.889 --> 00:06:23.350 you know, how to more effectively approach certain 00:06:23.350 --> 00:06:26.029 things. I think that's very important in cycles, 00:06:26.149 --> 00:06:29.920 but also you can also hit... Those are more so 00:06:29.920 --> 00:06:31.939 focused on personal cycles, but we can also hit 00:06:31.939 --> 00:06:36.160 like familial cycles. Those are very hard to 00:06:36.160 --> 00:06:39.220 carry, especially let's say it's one when it 00:06:39.220 --> 00:06:42.680 comes to alcoholism or drugs or anything of that 00:06:42.680 --> 00:06:45.800 nature. Are you going to be the one that falls 00:06:45.800 --> 00:06:50.199 in this trap? Are you going to be the one that 00:06:50.199 --> 00:06:55.550 kind of just indulges like everybody else? How 00:06:55.550 --> 00:06:59.069 is this being, if you grew up being only around 00:06:59.069 --> 00:07:01.990 alcoholics, hating your life because of it, hating 00:07:01.990 --> 00:07:04.310 your situation, your predicament, losing out 00:07:04.310 --> 00:07:07.410 on things around you, and you know, just having 00:07:07.410 --> 00:07:11.209 that burden, in turn, are you gonna follow in 00:07:11.209 --> 00:07:13.269 those footsteps? Because if I'm gonna be honest, 00:07:13.829 --> 00:07:17.209 from what I've seen, it is definitely a cycle. 00:07:17.480 --> 00:07:20.759 Um, and it continues unless it is broken and 00:07:20.759 --> 00:07:23.620 I've seen it continue my whole life in so many 00:07:23.620 --> 00:07:26.019 different forms in so many different ways. It's 00:07:26.019 --> 00:07:28.759 like you grow up hating one thing and then you 00:07:28.759 --> 00:07:31.360 slowly, slowly fall into it. And you know, part 00:07:31.360 --> 00:07:33.180 of that, okay, we can talk about it next week 00:07:33.180 --> 00:07:36.240 and talk about everything. And I don't, I don't 00:07:36.240 --> 00:07:38.120 get up here and I don't say this because it's 00:07:38.120 --> 00:07:41.060 some easy thing. And I think I, I've cured it 00:07:41.060 --> 00:07:43.779 and I've conquered it and I just, you know, I'm 00:07:43.779 --> 00:07:47.689 the best. No, not at all. I come up here to say 00:07:47.689 --> 00:07:50.069 this, that I am actively currently trying to 00:07:50.069 --> 00:07:52.310 break cycles, trying to get myself out of that, 00:07:52.490 --> 00:07:55.230 trying not to repeat things. And it is exhausting, 00:07:55.269 --> 00:07:59.509 like I said at the beginning. And I talk about 00:07:59.509 --> 00:08:01.370 this because I know there's a lot of us dealing 00:08:01.370 --> 00:08:03.709 with it. I know there's a lot of us who, in our 00:08:03.709 --> 00:08:05.329 day to day lives, we have these decisions and 00:08:05.329 --> 00:08:10.269 we're like, well, am I just like them? Am I a 00:08:10.269 --> 00:08:13.009 horrible person? Am I this? Am I that?" Beating 00:08:13.009 --> 00:08:15.629 yourself up all the time. And when it comes to 00:08:15.629 --> 00:08:19.189 learning and growing on something, it's okay 00:08:19.189 --> 00:08:22.889 if bumps along the road happen. Let's say, since 00:08:22.889 --> 00:08:25.290 we were talking about alcohol, let's say you 00:08:25.290 --> 00:08:27.970 did fall into the family cycle. You drink a lot. 00:08:28.250 --> 00:08:33.820 You party a lot. Fine. Fine. The first step in 00:08:33.820 --> 00:08:35.659 that cycle is wanting to make a change. It's 00:08:35.659 --> 00:08:37.940 okay if throughout that change you keep going 00:08:37.940 --> 00:08:40.299 back to drinking, you keep doing this, as long 00:08:40.299 --> 00:08:43.039 as you get up every day and continue to move 00:08:43.039 --> 00:08:48.860 forward and try. Like I said in a couple episodes 00:08:48.860 --> 00:08:52.460 ago, I don't think you have failed until you 00:08:52.460 --> 00:08:55.120 give up. I think getting up and trying every 00:08:55.120 --> 00:08:57.820 day to break a cycle, to grow, to learn and continue 00:08:57.820 --> 00:09:02.750 is... Therefore eventually going to get you to 00:09:02.750 --> 00:09:05.009 the finish line to where you need to be as long 00:09:05.009 --> 00:09:07.629 as you wake up and say hey You know what today? 00:09:07.730 --> 00:09:10.090 I'm four days sober four days is better than 00:09:10.090 --> 00:09:15.210 no days Do you know it's? everything is a constant 00:09:15.210 --> 00:09:19.629 on growing uphill battle and I think it is not 00:09:19.629 --> 00:09:25.049 easy, but it is very rewarding I can say There's 00:09:25.049 --> 00:09:27.750 no greater confidence than knowing that you have 00:09:27.750 --> 00:09:31.330 persevered when all odds were against you. There 00:09:31.330 --> 00:09:35.070 is no better feeling than knowing you're safe, 00:09:35.909 --> 00:09:38.690 you are happy, you're comfortable. And I think 00:09:38.690 --> 00:09:42.850 in the best terms for me, a bad day for me is 00:09:42.850 --> 00:09:47.370 I didn't get the snack I wanted and maybe the 00:09:47.370 --> 00:09:49.470 dishes weren't done. A bad day is not coming 00:09:49.470 --> 00:09:51.250 home, hearing slamming doors, having the cops 00:09:51.250 --> 00:09:53.789 call. That's not a bad day. That's breaking a 00:09:53.789 --> 00:09:57.049 cycle. Something I want to touch on me and me 00:09:57.049 --> 00:09:58.610 too were talking earlier because he had therapy 00:09:58.610 --> 00:10:01.230 today and he told me I can talk about it one 00:10:01.230 --> 00:10:03.470 thing I really wanted him to talk with his therapist 00:10:03.470 --> 00:10:06.149 about because I don't really get into what he 00:10:06.149 --> 00:10:07.830 has going on over there because that's I mean 00:10:07.830 --> 00:10:09.470 it's his business but there was something me 00:10:09.470 --> 00:10:12.110 and him shared and I was like hey I want you 00:10:12.110 --> 00:10:14.690 to talk to your therapist about your anger you 00:10:14.690 --> 00:10:17.049 know what do you do with that? Rose of Scorpio 00:10:17.049 --> 00:10:19.669 Moon like He does not deal with his emotions, 00:10:19.850 --> 00:10:22.629 okay? No shade to him. He's just like a ball 00:10:22.629 --> 00:10:24.649 of fire in the inside and you'll never see it. 00:10:24.649 --> 00:10:26.470 He's like the sweetest guy ever. And I'm like, 00:10:26.610 --> 00:10:28.389 talk to her about it, do something. And he was 00:10:28.389 --> 00:10:31.129 talking about it and it's been going good. And 00:10:31.129 --> 00:10:33.450 one thing he said to me today, he came to a realization 00:10:33.450 --> 00:10:38.129 and he was like, hey, I kind of noticed in a 00:10:38.129 --> 00:10:43.350 way growing up, like he already was kind of very 00:10:43.350 --> 00:10:46.549 inward when it came to his feelings. But he said 00:10:46.549 --> 00:10:50.129 growing up, I noticed that, you know, I would 00:10:50.129 --> 00:10:52.330 get in more trouble if I showed my feelings, 00:10:52.350 --> 00:10:56.789 you know, and we all know. And so growing up, 00:10:56.889 --> 00:10:58.970 it's kind of like, oh, here, I'm going to give 00:10:58.970 --> 00:11:01.090 you something to cry about. Or if you're getting 00:11:01.090 --> 00:11:04.509 a whooping like here, if you keep crying, you're 00:11:04.509 --> 00:11:07.529 going to get hit more. So it's one of them things 00:11:07.529 --> 00:11:11.350 like, yeah, essentially you are taught to shut 00:11:11.350 --> 00:11:16.419 the fuck up and take it like, you know. And not 00:11:16.419 --> 00:11:20.059 to be as morbid as it sounds. But in turn, yes, 00:11:20.080 --> 00:11:23.700 that does add on to why he feels like that. Or, 00:11:23.779 --> 00:11:26.320 you know, his struggle as a man when he would 00:11:26.320 --> 00:11:28.100 get in those things, it was kind of like tighten 00:11:28.100 --> 00:11:31.360 the fuck up and shut up. You know, you're cool. 00:11:31.399 --> 00:11:35.200 You're cool. You're cool. And I think it was 00:11:35.200 --> 00:11:37.379 great that he came around to that. And like I 00:11:37.379 --> 00:11:40.059 said, breaking cycles, that is him. That first 00:11:40.059 --> 00:11:42.559 step, he might still catch himself in that proc. 00:11:42.669 --> 00:11:44.850 like that process of suppressing his emotions. 00:11:45.389 --> 00:11:47.490 But first of all, going to therapy, breaking 00:11:47.490 --> 00:11:50.169 a cycle that didn't happen before him, that didn't 00:11:50.169 --> 00:11:52.730 happen before me, like, you know, not a lot of 00:11:52.730 --> 00:11:56.129 people indulge in that. Sitting with himself, 00:11:56.129 --> 00:11:58.070 you know, first of all, acknowledging that, hey, 00:11:58.149 --> 00:11:59.970 maybe I do want to talk to my therapist about 00:11:59.970 --> 00:12:03.450 this, maybe I will listen. And being able to, 00:12:03.450 --> 00:12:06.309 you know, comfortable enough to talk to me about 00:12:06.309 --> 00:12:11.549 it first, right? These are all steps. that happen, 00:12:11.990 --> 00:12:14.090 that is you breaking the cycle. You are breaking 00:12:14.090 --> 00:12:16.789 it day by day with each decision you are making. 00:12:17.389 --> 00:12:19.610 I think a lot of times, me especially, I know 00:12:19.610 --> 00:12:22.070 I do this and I am victim of it. A lot of times 00:12:22.070 --> 00:12:23.870 I'm just waiting for the grand finish line. I'm 00:12:23.870 --> 00:12:25.950 waiting for the surprise. I'm waiting to be done. 00:12:26.049 --> 00:12:29.269 I'm waiting to just do this. When really the 00:12:29.269 --> 00:12:32.509 true magic is in the journey, the true healing 00:12:32.509 --> 00:12:34.809 is in the journey and what's going on through 00:12:34.809 --> 00:12:42.179 that, you know? And your healing may never make 00:12:42.179 --> 00:12:47.080 people proud, but it will make you free. And 00:12:47.080 --> 00:12:49.460 that's a really, really hard thing to sit with, 00:12:49.539 --> 00:12:52.299 especially if, I would say used to be a people 00:12:52.299 --> 00:12:54.940 pleaser like me. It was really hard for me to 00:12:54.940 --> 00:12:59.059 even want to start a journey in any sense because 00:12:59.059 --> 00:13:01.860 I had the fascination of not making people upset 00:13:01.860 --> 00:13:04.759 with me because I just couldn't deal with it. 00:13:05.019 --> 00:13:08.690 And I had to get over that first, but. A big 00:13:08.690 --> 00:13:11.669 thing is, especially if you are doing the opposite 00:13:11.669 --> 00:13:13.269 of what's been taught to you your whole life, 00:13:13.309 --> 00:13:15.690 let's say it is, you know, in the family or something 00:13:15.690 --> 00:13:18.389 that's been passed down for generations, you 00:13:18.389 --> 00:13:21.970 will be that black sheep and you will stick out. 00:13:21.970 --> 00:13:25.029 You will look like a hater. I've been called 00:13:25.029 --> 00:13:27.909 a hater so many times and that I think I'm better 00:13:27.909 --> 00:13:35.759 than everybody. What? No, but you will. be ostracized 00:13:35.759 --> 00:13:38.600 before like because of that like you will undoubtedly 00:13:38.600 --> 00:13:42.100 because They they see what you're doing is odd 00:13:42.100 --> 00:13:46.179 and a lot of the times they When people see you 00:13:46.179 --> 00:13:48.679 doing opposite or making a change or doing different 00:13:48.679 --> 00:13:50.960 and a lot of the times it comes off as hating 00:13:50.960 --> 00:13:53.559 comes off an empty and be but deep down that 00:13:53.559 --> 00:13:57.600 person truly is probably like Bitch, I just I 00:13:57.600 --> 00:14:00.639 wish I did that first You know what? I hate that 00:14:00.639 --> 00:14:02.679 you're making the change that I didn't make. 00:14:02.919 --> 00:14:04.600 And a lot of times that really wouldn't like 00:14:04.600 --> 00:14:06.720 that's what it is with people. They're upset 00:14:06.720 --> 00:14:09.100 that you're making a change in effort that they 00:14:09.100 --> 00:14:12.059 didn't make before. And so in turn, their life 00:14:12.059 --> 00:14:15.799 cannot be the same. Oh, my gosh. My cats are 00:14:15.799 --> 00:14:18.080 fighting and then knocked over the damn playpen. 00:14:18.539 --> 00:14:23.500 What the fuck is happening? OK, relax. We're 00:14:23.500 --> 00:14:28.120 good guys. What I had written down next was don't 00:14:28.120 --> 00:14:32.039 let your emotions control you and That's so important 00:14:32.039 --> 00:14:36.960 in this cycle because it's first of all so so 00:14:36.960 --> 00:14:39.399 important to feel your emotions throughout this 00:14:39.399 --> 00:14:43.179 Because it's it's a lot especially when you start 00:14:43.440 --> 00:14:46.480 Let's say breaking these cycles or healing as 00:14:46.480 --> 00:14:48.779 an adult. A lot of times you're not healing as 00:14:48.779 --> 00:14:51.039 an adult. You have to heal your inner child. 00:14:51.159 --> 00:14:53.240 And I know a lot of times on social media, all 00:14:53.240 --> 00:14:55.000 we hear is, oh, inner child work, inner child 00:14:55.000 --> 00:14:59.100 this, da da da. No, genuinely, I've caught myself 00:14:59.100 --> 00:15:02.919 time and time again. You have to go back to your 00:15:02.919 --> 00:15:06.149 roots. You have to go back to... everything you 00:15:06.149 --> 00:15:09.230 once knew as a child. You have to go back to 00:15:09.230 --> 00:15:11.889 your childhood and what was enforced in you and 00:15:11.889 --> 00:15:13.970 instilled within you. You have to go back to 00:15:13.970 --> 00:15:16.970 that and think, hey, why do I react like this 00:15:16.970 --> 00:15:19.529 as an adult? Why do I apologize like this as 00:15:19.529 --> 00:15:22.590 an adult? Why am I scared to do these simple 00:15:22.590 --> 00:15:26.750 little things as an adult? Why? And I guarantee 00:15:26.750 --> 00:15:28.429 you, if you sit there long enough with yourself, 00:15:28.429 --> 00:15:31.049 you can pinpoint it to childhood. You can pinpoint 00:15:31.049 --> 00:15:35.169 it to something. Those emotions are gonna be 00:15:35.169 --> 00:15:36.929 rough and you're really not gonna know what to 00:15:36.929 --> 00:15:41.789 do, right? But a lot of the times When we feel 00:15:41.789 --> 00:15:45.970 so angry or feel so Hopeless, maybe like emotions 00:15:45.970 --> 00:15:47.750 can be all over the place. Let's say you feel 00:15:47.750 --> 00:15:49.309 hopeless about this and you're just like damn 00:15:49.309 --> 00:15:52.409 I'm I'm tired of having to break this shit. I 00:15:52.409 --> 00:15:55.070 got to this point. I'm gonna be honest very very 00:15:55.070 --> 00:15:56.389 recently I was like, you know what? I'm tired 00:15:56.389 --> 00:15:58.570 of this like genuinely why the fuck did y 'all 00:15:58.570 --> 00:16:02.009 choose me? I'm over it. Like I'm cool, bro like 00:16:02.240 --> 00:16:06.299 And then you gotta realize, hey, don't let my 00:16:06.299 --> 00:16:08.500 emotions speak for me. Don't let my emotions 00:16:08.500 --> 00:16:11.019 speak for me, it's fine. I'll get over it, give 00:16:11.019 --> 00:16:13.600 me a couple days. I'll get over it, give me a 00:16:13.600 --> 00:16:16.220 couple days. Because you'll catch yourself breaking 00:16:16.220 --> 00:16:19.580 that cycle. You won't feel like shit anymore. 00:16:19.980 --> 00:16:23.879 I recently went through something where I had 00:16:23.879 --> 00:16:26.419 away my options and I was like, hey, do I protect 00:16:26.419 --> 00:16:29.870 what I have over here? Or do I choose me, even 00:16:29.870 --> 00:16:32.710 though something I had to protect genuinely felt 00:16:32.710 --> 00:16:35.909 like something in my soul? Or do I choose me? 00:16:35.950 --> 00:16:38.470 And I'm going to be honest, I chose myself. I 00:16:38.470 --> 00:16:40.809 chose it in the most balanced way I could, but 00:16:40.809 --> 00:16:44.110 I still was like, hey, I need to address this 00:16:44.110 --> 00:16:47.750 on behalf of me. I got to put my boundaries up 00:16:47.750 --> 00:16:53.470 on behalf of me and myself and my respect. I 00:16:53.470 --> 00:16:56.429 was breaking a cycle I had. I could never communicate 00:16:56.429 --> 00:16:59.629 my feelings effectively because I was just kind 00:16:59.629 --> 00:17:03.169 of terrified of a response, honestly. And that 00:17:03.169 --> 00:17:06.029 was a cycle I had to break. There's a lot of 00:17:06.029 --> 00:17:07.950 things I'm constantly going through and living 00:17:07.950 --> 00:17:10.130 and evolving through. And I want to ask you, 00:17:10.190 --> 00:17:13.150 are you? And are you noticing that you're doing 00:17:13.150 --> 00:17:15.230 it? Because I think a lot of times we are constantly 00:17:15.230 --> 00:17:17.529 breaking cycles and constantly growing and evolving 00:17:17.529 --> 00:17:25.779 and living to our best ability, but a lot of 00:17:25.779 --> 00:17:27.759 times we focus on the negative and beat ourselves 00:17:27.759 --> 00:17:31.119 up along the way. You can't do that. I want you 00:17:31.119 --> 00:17:34.519 to acknowledge your wins. Acknowledge when you 00:17:34.519 --> 00:17:36.339 have a good thought and you're like, damn, hey, 00:17:36.339 --> 00:17:39.299 I need help or damn, hey, don't talk to me like 00:17:39.299 --> 00:17:43.680 that. Every single time you see yourself taking 00:17:43.680 --> 00:17:46.000 a step in the right direction, no matter how 00:17:46.000 --> 00:17:49.180 big or small, acknowledge it, embrace it, and 00:17:49.180 --> 00:17:52.019 be proud of yourself. because you are different, 00:17:52.180 --> 00:17:55.400 you are taking different steps, you're living 00:17:55.400 --> 00:17:56.819 a different life and you're leading a different 00:17:56.819 --> 00:17:59.880 life and that is a beautiful thing to go through 00:17:59.880 --> 00:18:02.940 and a beautiful thing to experience. You will 00:18:02.940 --> 00:18:06.319 in turn keep breaking your own heart, expecting 00:18:06.319 --> 00:18:10.640 people to end cycles with you or to get help 00:18:10.640 --> 00:18:14.019 with you. You will break your own heart. I sat 00:18:14.019 --> 00:18:15.900 there for so many times and I'm like, damn, please 00:18:15.900 --> 00:18:17.759 get sober, please get sober, please get sober. 00:18:17.819 --> 00:18:21.119 And then you got to realize, hey, People are 00:18:21.119 --> 00:18:23.180 gonna do what they want to do, you know people 00:18:23.180 --> 00:18:26.799 have the capacity they have if Somebody doesn't 00:18:26.799 --> 00:18:28.500 want to do something. They won't do it and just 00:18:28.500 --> 00:18:32.140 because I have that willpower You know doesn't 00:18:32.140 --> 00:18:35.140 mean they do but also in the same turn it doesn't 00:18:35.140 --> 00:18:38.240 mean I need to wait for them to I have to choose 00:18:38.240 --> 00:18:40.460 me I have to choose my life and I have to move 00:18:40.460 --> 00:18:45.640 forward with it and and essentially Be better, 00:18:46.180 --> 00:18:49.019 you know No matter how hard the situation is, 00:18:49.039 --> 00:18:52.720 you have to find light in any little part of 00:18:52.720 --> 00:18:57.000 it to keep going, to want to keep trying and 00:18:57.000 --> 00:19:01.700 to get better. Like I said, heal, learn, grow. 00:19:01.920 --> 00:19:04.079 It's not linear. Growth is not linear. It is 00:19:04.079 --> 00:19:06.200 a spectrum and it's all over the fucking place. 00:19:06.500 --> 00:19:08.599 But as long as you wake up every day and you're 00:19:08.599 --> 00:19:11.480 like, hey, I'm going to be a better me. And it 00:19:11.480 --> 00:19:14.019 can be in the smallest way possible. The smallest 00:19:14.019 --> 00:19:17.039 way possible. Even if it means changing a negative 00:19:17.039 --> 00:19:19.940 thought no matter what it is wake up and choose 00:19:19.940 --> 00:19:23.660 to be a better you change Change yourself in 00:19:23.660 --> 00:19:32.700 order to change your future Do it And one more 00:19:32.700 --> 00:19:34.980 thing I want to touch on one of the biggest cycles 00:19:34.980 --> 00:19:39.359 I think I hello that This started a cycle, I 00:19:39.359 --> 00:19:41.700 think, for everything else in my life. Sometimes 00:19:41.700 --> 00:19:43.920 in order to break a cycle, you have to leave 00:19:43.920 --> 00:19:47.700 the environment that is keeping you within all 00:19:47.700 --> 00:19:50.799 of these cycles, you know? And for me, I made 00:19:50.799 --> 00:19:53.180 that the second, I think I moved a month after 00:19:53.180 --> 00:19:58.240 I graduated high school. I moved. I couldn't 00:19:58.240 --> 00:20:01.660 be in a place where I seen no growth for myself, 00:20:01.700 --> 00:20:05.210 and I knew... Really, it didn't even matter about 00:20:05.210 --> 00:20:08.029 my environment and everything. Well, it did but 00:20:08.029 --> 00:20:11.589 like not really it was more so for me I was like, 00:20:11.910 --> 00:20:16.250 I know I can't progress here With with my environment. 00:20:16.250 --> 00:20:19.289 So these outside sources with attitudes with 00:20:19.289 --> 00:20:21.930 the seasons with everything I just I don't see 00:20:21.930 --> 00:20:25.049 growth for me. I don't I don't see myself winning 00:20:25.049 --> 00:20:26.930 here. I don't see myself improving here. I see 00:20:26.930 --> 00:20:29.789 myself falling into these cycles if I stay here. 00:20:30.130 --> 00:20:32.609 And that's another thing when they talk about 00:20:32.609 --> 00:20:35.230 you are who you are like are around and hang 00:20:35.230 --> 00:20:39.809 out with. It's true. It's true. You ultimately 00:20:39.809 --> 00:20:42.589 become that or because you're going to get influence 00:20:42.589 --> 00:20:44.930 regardless. You will get influence regardless. 00:20:45.769 --> 00:20:48.130 You are ultimately that. So like I said at the 00:20:48.130 --> 00:20:54.539 end, heal, learn, and grow. But yeah. That was 00:20:54.539 --> 00:20:56.940 today's episode and I hope you guys enjoyed it 00:20:56.940 --> 00:21:01.319 and I hope you guys catch yourself and notice 00:21:01.319 --> 00:21:03.359 how many cycles you have broken this far because 00:21:03.359 --> 00:21:05.960 I know you have and I know you guys will be great 00:21:05.960 --> 00:21:09.440 and no matter what you do. So yeah, like I said, 00:21:09.460 --> 00:21:11.920 if you like this podcast, please leave a five 00:21:11.920 --> 00:21:15.420 -star rating and a review. You know, I love talking 00:21:15.420 --> 00:21:18.960 to you guys and if you want to overshare on this 00:21:18.960 --> 00:21:22.119 year podcast, look in the show notes down below 00:21:22.119 --> 00:21:24.720 and you can email Did I Overshare Podcast at 00:21:24.720 --> 00:21:28.920 gmail .com for, you know, to submit your story. 00:21:30.039 --> 00:21:33.299 And yeah, this is available on everything. I 00:21:33.299 --> 00:21:35.099 will have some clips up on YouTube and yeah, 00:21:35.119 --> 00:21:37.900 I love you guys so much. I hope you have a blessed 00:21:37.900 --> 00:21:39.000 week. Bye.