Hey girl, sit tight, don't mind the chaos, and
just smile. Hi besties. What is up besties? It
is your host Zoe and I am back with another episode
on the Did I Overshare podcast today. I hope
y 'all are doing good. I'm doing phenomenal.
I hope y 'all are doing phenomenal. And if you're
not, I am sending phenomenal vibes and love and
kisses your way. And all the listeners, send
good vibes to everybody else, okay? I have no
business to get into other than things have been
going great. We have been doing so good on TikTok.
We've been doing so good on Instagram. You guys
have been leaving reviews. Y 'all are the shit.
I love y 'all. You know, we go together real
bad. Okay, we go together real bad. So today's
episode was actually requested. It was in my
plans anyway. Literally, she read my mind. It
was in my notes anyway. And then she requested
it. And I think her name's Hua. If I pronounce
it wrong, contact me and correct me. You have
my DM, DM me, right? But she requested this episode
to, like, it would be a great follow -up after
the last one. Hey, this is something I am going
through in my life. And I'm like, OK, period,
girl. Let's go. Let's go. Let's jump in. Because
actually, this is something where I find myself
in the midst of right now. I see myself in this
exact position where I am learning this. And
it is, you know it, apply it, learning discipline.
because discipline quite literally is one of
the strongest things in our life. It is the foundation
of our life. It is. And whether we have it or
not, you know, give or take, I think a lot of
us do lack discipline, but discipline is hard.
It is really hard to grasp and really hard to
learn. And that's okay. And we're gonna be talking
all about that today. But before we get into
it, please follow Did I Overshare on Instagram
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review. If you love me, I love y 'all. And you
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I'm so tickled when I read them, bitch. I love
y 'all. Love y 'all down through. But yeah, so
I think, at least for me, I don't think it has
to be for everybody, but for me especially, I
think discipline comes from having no choice.
You know, getting to a point where you feel like
there's no choice but change, right? What do
you want? I want you to ask yourself that. What
do you want? How are you gonna get it? Ask yourself
that. But also what's been holding you back like
why why do you think personally why haven't you
achieved this yet? You know because for some
people let's say you want to start a business
some some people it's money Some people it's
people um You know a whole bunch of different
things so why haven't you got it? I want you
to point that out Pin the point your common excuses
But to be honest, I'm you know like to be so
honest. I don't I don't need to sit here and
give you a list of anything. You can truly watch
however many videos you want about discipline.
You can read however many books about discipline.
If you don't want change, your life will not
change, right? You can tell yourself, I'm gonna
feed into all of this. I'm gonna make all these
lists and I'm gonna read all these things and
I'm gonna have it. That's gonna be it. Once I
do this, I'll have it. Firstly, it's not that
easy at all. Hate to be... a Debbie Downer, but
it is not easy at all. But on another point,
you just have to want change. Like, you can read
something and it can give you motivation for
you to want change. But at the end of the day,
whatever you do, if you truly don't want anything
different, you won't have anything different,
right? Change, it first takes place in your mind.
You have to get to a point, like I said, where
You want different so when it comes to the gym
I feel like a lot of people you you have to get
to a point where you're unhappy in your own body
you don't like looking at yourself no more or
When it comes to business, hey, I don't I don't
want to hold me down no more. This is my life
I need to take charge. So like I said ask yourself
these questions Who do you want to be and decide
it move from that move? Like your highest self
because truly nobody is gonna lock in but you
but also Don't give up on yourself. Rewrite your
goals and your list over and over and over again
until you get it. I've talked about this before,
but I want to talk about it again. I believe
that failure comes when you stop trying. I think
failure comes when you give up. Now we can talk
about failure like oh hey, but I started this
business eight times and it has failed No, it
hasn't cuz you keep retrying I think failure
truly comes when you give up because as long
as you keep going and keep going one day You're
gonna get it and for some people yes, it does
take longer for some people It is an incident
for some people it is that's okay That is when
you also need to stop that comparison, but also
don't give up Be patient with yourself. Allow
yourself to learn. Allow yourself to make mistakes.
Because truly, you don't get better at something
without failing. Because you have to learn. You
have to grow. Okay? Like, you truly have to go
through the process. Life is a process. And trying
to shortcut that or dodge that will just put
you 10 steps back. You can't you cannot avoid
growth. You cannot avoid mistakes and Issues
you truly just got to lock in and keep pushing
and say hey Might have knocked me down and I'm
gonna cry for a minute, but let me stand the
fuck back up. I got it I'm cool. I'm cool Let
me go So Always seen where they were like oh
it takes 21 days to form a habit apparently That's
a myth it can take between 21 and like 600 days
But for most people if you're consistent with
something every day it takes 66 days 66 days
to actually have that fundamentally in your brain
and be able to wake up and say hey This is what
I'm doing. You know it just becomes kind of like
you know What brushing our teeth every day right
it just becomes one of them things we pick up
and it takes 66 days So have grace. What? You
thought you were gonna get something done in
a week? It might take longer for you, and that's
okay. If it takes you four fucking years to get
something done, so be it. A lot of women, especially
women like that I watch that have blew up recently,
right? A lot of them started their businesses
when they were in their 40s or, you know, already
had kids, already settled down, all did this,
and everybody told them, hey, you know, it's
a little late for your dreams. They still made
them happen. Right? Your age doesn't matter.
Time doesn't matter. But what I do want to tell
you is time won't wait for you. I had to realize
that because I used to sit there so much and
be like, oh, I'm just going to do this tomorrow.
I'll do it tomorrow because look, this is going
to sound sick, but I'll give myself like time
limits. And once I pass that time frame, well,
fuck, I got to start it at a different time or
I got to do it tomorrow. Like I already just
fucked up the whole plan. First of all, no. Second
of all, time won't wait for you is going to keep
moving. Every single day is literally shaped
by how you shape it. What you do with your time
in a day is what you do. It doesn't stop. It
doesn't wait for you. You gotta keep pushing.
You gotta keep going. You gotta want to change.
You have to want that discipline. You have to
chase it. It is not going to sit there and just
come for you and, you know, just be there. You
have to chase discipline. You have to want change.
You do. And it's one of the hardest things to
do. Like I said before, it is the foundation
of your life. I think in a lot of our lives,
discipline is the structure of it all. When we
don't get something we want, usually a lot of
time it's because we had a lack of discipline.
Or, okay, you know how people set New Year's
resolutions, right? Well, I think it was like,
I don't know the exact statistic, but it was
like 3 % out of, you know, 100. Actually stick
to their New Year's resolutions That number is
insane. First of all, I also told myself to stop
making New Year's resolutions because I want
to change today I'm not gonna that's the thing.
We give ourselves time limits. We don't need
to do that do it today No, you're the only person
making rules in your life truly. So why the fuck
are you making the rules hard? Stop making them
hard like I'm not about to tell myself. Oh next
year. I'll start it I'll start going to the gym
when the New Year hits Bro start going to the
gym today. What the fuck is about to happen in
these 40 fucking days? Where like what do you
want to do in these 40 days? You're still not
gonna be happy in your body What is this one
particular day going to do for you? That is why
only 3 % really make it or whatever the number
is Because you have to want it and a lot of people
it's hard to start But that's why I think also
you shouldn't give yourself a set Time now. Okay.
Some people are really really type a some people
need that that's cool If you needed to struck
like for structure, that's cool, but I'm very
very type B. No shade I'm very type B. So for
me setting a schedule It truly doesn't mean nothing
to me. Like yes, okay, I can Okay, how do I explain
this? For me setting a schedule. It's just like
the whole idea of setting a schedule. Oh like
I'm organized. I'm this person. Does that mean
I'm going to pay any more attention to the schedule?
No. Truly, no. I have to do something I want
to do. I have to do something that caters to
me. And this is where I'm going to get into a
reward system. I have a reward system within
myself. You don't need that. And if you think
that's bad, cool. Me, I'm kind of kid -like.
If I'm doing something for so long and I start
to get burnt out, I'm not doing it no more. I'm
not. I have gotten to the point where I'm not
punishing myself. You know for anything I want
to enjoy life and I will do anything to fucking
enjoy life and I know I need discipline So how
can I do discipline but in a fun way, right?
So I'll give myself. Hey if I do this and mine
consistent with it Let's go shopping Bitch, I
can go to take for late. Like what are we doing
right now? Right? If I'm having a if I'm working
real hard in the morning sometimes like I wake
up at 5 a .m. And I'll be working right now I'm
actually I'm getting a little exhausted to the
point where I don't want to do this anymore.
Like I'm getting frustrated I'll go thrift or
I'll go do something that that I enjoy that makes
me happy because it teaches me that you can have
Peace calmness and happiness and enjoyment with
discipline. I feel like a lot of times when we
hear discipline it's framed as very rigid. It
is very structured. You have to be there, be
square or you know where it's just not going
to work out. Discipline, okay, it's kind of like
a gym bro. It's like, oh my god, I'm locked in.
I got to go harder than everybody else. I need
to be the one, blah, blah, blah. And I think
that's why so many of us get burnt out. I'm not
doing that because I did get burnt out and nothing
got fucking done. Nothing. And I'm also not going
to be hard on myself if I mess up. Hey, I didn't
do this today. I'm going to be like, now I'm
going to be honest, I be clocking my own T a
lot. So I'll be like, girl, what the fuck? You
lazy bitch. You know, I'll tell myself, get the
fuck up, right? But also, I'm very patient with
myself. I really am. You have to have empathy.
for your own self stop treating yourself like
you're this fucking soldier that needs to be
up for 48 hours training locking in to get fucking
what 10 years of work for other people done in
a month we especially as women we cannot live
off stress that just spikes your cortisol like
you living like that that's really just going
to stress you out and that's also i think why
i became way more type b like i just prioritize
my own mental peace over anything because I also
think personally, I cannot achieve my own goals
if I'm not happy. Right? Because my heart's not
really in it. I did this for how can I say because
I know I know some people might not agree with
that. But that's okay. Firstly, second of all,
I think I think that's how a lot of people should
view because I think we have a very toxic mindset
when it comes to Building discipline. It's like
I said it is go hard or nothing like we're like
soldiers lock the fuck in We don't need to be
like that. Now. Do I think there has to be some
structure? Yes, you need to have discipline with
yourself once again, you need to Be firm be firm.
You don't need to be hard and mean to yourself,
but you need to be firm. What do I want? Don't
treat yourself when I said reward yourself and
be calm. That doesn't mean treat yourself like
a child Right? It doesn't mean, oh, it's hard
today. I'm not going to do it. But it does mean,
hey, I got two hours of work done rather than
zero. I can sit back and relax if I want to.
I can go take a nap. I can do that. But I'm going
to be honest, babe, if you got nothing done,
if we haven't took one step, why are you taking
three steps back to calm down? You haven't took
the first step. So don't get that confused when
I say don't live like a soldier. You need structure.
We need structure in our life. OK? Have that
structure. have it but also be nice to yourself
be patient and Having both is okay I feel like
a lot of the time we think we need one or the
other Like they can't coexist you either have
to be so fucking locked in and so determined
for everything where you're just like a slave
at this point or you're like Right, I just feel
like that's what people make it out. No there
needs to be balance You need to balance that
masculine and that feminine and how can you do
that? If I said everybody's personality is different,
everybody moves different, everybody operates
different, how does that work for you? Do you
need a reward system like me? Do you need sometimes,
hey, I need after I get like three hours of work
done, I'm gonna take a nap and then I can do
two more. How is it for you? Set up that system
because that will help you build true discipline
that feels authentic, feels like yourself, but
also disallows you to be. You know, you don't
need to make your life so hard. Life is not meant
to be hard. It's not fucking easy, but you need
to enjoy it along the way. Right. And I know
for me personally, I couldn't enjoy it when I
was treating myself like fight or flight, you
know, like I had to go and I'll be y 'all. This
is it. So besties spectrum decided to cut out.
Yeah. But I thought the whole episode was gone.
The first part actually saved. So. I'm gonna
be honest, I don't know where I left off. It's
been a minute. The Wi -Fi finally came back on.
It is thunderstormy outside, so I think that
might have something to do with it. But yeah,
so I got a couple more things I want to touch
on for this episode. Yeah, but the last thing
is get strict with yourself. Like I said before,
become your own inspiration. Set your own standard.
You are truly what you attract. Who are you attracting?
If you don't like who you're attracting, why?
Not people Like, you like, are you meeting people
that you just don't like or don't like you, or
people who are constantly hurting you, disrespecting
your boundaries? What are you attracting? And
get clear with yourself on why you're attracting
that. Do you have a lack of boundaries going
on? Are you not respecting yourself? Is there
some insecurity going on? There's so much that
can weigh in on it. But if you aren't getting
strict with yourself and having discipline over
your own life, it will lead you to attract other
things that will just steer you away and not
lead you in the right direction, if that makes
sense. This is your one life. Make mistakes and
take chances. Always. You you will always be
the only one standing in your own way and you
need to take yourself seriously I think a lot
of the times why some of us lack discipline is
we don't take ourselves seriously Even though
we like to say we do we don't you know Do you
is there an insecurity there where you think
you might not get it where you think you know,
it's not meant for you It's just harder for you.
So, you know, it's just kind of impossible. Are
there people speaking ill within you? What what's
going on? Because you need to take yourself seriously
stand on business with yourself take charge of
your own life be who you want to be We we won't
have anything without that. You will have nothing
without that. This is your life You come in alone.
You die alone. I mean unless you're a twin or
triplet or anything like that you might not come
in alone, but It's nobody else is gonna change
it for you. Nobody else is gonna do the work
for you You need to do the work yourself. You
need to lock in you need to want to be better.
You need to be better right we can't that's one
thing when i said yes we can treat ourselves
very good and tend to our inner child and be
calm and do all that but don't treat yourself
like a child because you're not you're not you
know we can't have expectations of others and
not have these expectations for ourselves right
you need to trust yourself do the shit you said
you were gonna do nobody's waiting for you but
you Your future self is like damn bitch. You
didn't get the show on the road. I'm trying to
get rich now Right stand up take charge. This
is your life And yeah that was that was really
all I had to say, you know I planned on saying
way more and then I kind of lost my whole train
of thought To be so honest and so sorry there
was an episode last week. It was due to travel
circumstances So that that was a lot last week,
but I hope you guys enjoyed this episode despite
the weather complications the wi -fi complications
i still hope you enjoyed it nonetheless and i
love you guys so much and i truly hope this helps
you change your narrative on discipline and your
view on it and it gets better but i love you
so much and i hope you guys have a blessed rest
of your week bye you