Guys is this thing on? What is up besties, it
is your host Zoe and I am back with another motherfucking
episode on the Did I Overshare podcast today
We're starting off rocky clearly don't know what's
going on the camera Okay. Um, so yeah, I hope
you guys are doing well this week. I've had a
lot of birthdays this week I've been very busy.
We've had family up But I hope October overall
is going really well for you guys. I really don't
have any business to get into, you know? There's
really nothing to talk about besides being here.
I've had a lot to say though, I can be honest.
I've wanted to make a video every single day
this week, sorry, regarding so many different
things. I feel like my mind has been very full.
I've wanted to share a lot of things with you
guys But this one I feel like is the one I kept
nagging at me and before we get into it I just
want to say if you end up liking this episode,
you know leave a rating Leave a review Listen
to the podcast everywhere. Follow me on Instagram
and tik -tok at did I over share podcast and
then my main zio Yes, e just go down below. It's
all in a description. Okay description show notes,
whatever you want to call it, but yeah also don't
mind my voice I'm talking way slower my throat
has been hurting every single day I wake up it's
like I've just been screaming in my sleep and
I don't know why I'm not sick it's like just
my throat is like so dry like I'm fighting for
my life right um but yeah today's episode I felt
really drawn to talk about because it's very
active on social media right now and it's um
it's how women are now being Like we have to
be more feminine now how like I feel like every
single video I see on my feed is how to be more
feminine how to talk more feminine how to carry
yourself more feminine and so many things like
that which I feel like is very Bad to feed into
our minds simply because it's just like In my
opinion as a woman. We're already fighting so
much just to prove We're a woman already like
we already have to do so much to say hey, I'm
woman enough, right? Simply of the fact that
we are a woman like why do I have to explain
myself even more right? Why do I have to wear
pink and talk softly and not argue back or do
anything that it's very I feel like belittling
But I feel like it matches today's age like where
we're at in life I feel like it's very fitting
that this would come up now. So yeah, of course
people are gonna feed into it, right? But I don't
think it's something we should be feeding into.
Now granted, this isn't me sitting here and saying,
oh my gosh, you can't like pink, you can't talk
softly, you can't be feminine. No, 100%. The
aesthetic's cute as fuck, first of all. Let me
just say that. I understand the appeal right
and if you are naturally these things that's
perfectly fine But I don't think that makes you
more feminine Because I feel like that's very
like we need to deconstruct that whole idea because
you can be loud proud Do so many different things
that aren't considered feminine because you don't
have to be feminine for you to get more likes
or for Men to like you or so many different things
like that. I just feel like it's very damaging
to the mind especially since younger girls are
now taking in this media and being like oh i
have to be soft spoken to get this to do this
you know for men to like me i feel like the whole
thing on social media now is how men can like
you like i've seen so many posts about like and
i feel like religion is into a lot of it as well
like every single post i see about it is how
to be like a christian feminine how to do this
how to do that and it's like it's just all being
pushed so freaking fast and it's like if you're
not this you're not a woman you're not feminine
you're not soft you're not You know this you
can be feminine and still be hard rough around
the edges black be Alternative even whatever
you want to fucking be and still be feminine.
You are a woman. You are naturally feminine in
your ways, right? I Don't have to act girly just
for that to be socially acceptable, right? And
I just feel like with how much is being pushed
on social media I really wanted to talk about
it because as someone like me I'm gonna be honest
I caught myself falling into it like for like
a week or something as well I was like ooh I
really love the pinks because like I said the
aesthetic is really cute like I love the idea
of soft cute but it's the connotation that comes
behind it and why this is being pushed like this
and actually how bad it is for our minds, right?
It's one thing if you're naturally gravitating
towards this, you are a naturally soft -spoken
person or are naturally calmer, um, quiet, like,
you know, all of these things and it's perfectly
fine, right? Just like a little princess. Great.
But I can still be feminine if I wanna be a little
rock and roll over here, right? If I wanna be
loud. Cause I'm gonna be honest, like me personally,
I was struggling with this because... I'm not
soft spoken. I am loud. I cuss every fucking
time I speak. Great. People don't like that.
Fine. But that's me. I cuss every single time
I speak because I feel like it adds so much emotion
to my words. And it's just something I've been
doing forever. And like pink is cute for me,
but I like... i like dark reds i like navies
i like that so it's kind of like i was getting
upset because i wasn't fitting into that narrative
i was like what the fuck i'm supposed to be a
woman i'm supposed to do this that's not the
case i'm woman fucking enough and i wanted to
say that in this episode today that you don't
have to fit certain criteria to be woman enough
and now let me talk about why i feel like it
matches the times because we can see Right, when
so many different things happens, when stuff
starts to change in the world, certain people,
certain narratives are being pushed, right? What
is socially acceptable? People tend to fall in
line. We tend to morph and shape ourselves into
a way that will now be acceptable for this new
society because... let's be honest society is
changing and what's acceptable it's not what
people like more right beyond like being honest
we can see and i know like y 'all can see this
as well when we look at social media now what
is it about being a stay at home wife being more
feminine how can i be more soft spoken how can
i become christian how can i um Get my nails
done every day, but not be too like over consumption
need. How can I? Make my videos cuter and like
more softer You know, how can I stop cussing
and stop yelling and so many things to make me
more feminine to make me more desirable for other
people and especially like for men like a lot
of the picture like a lot of the posts I see
it's for men how You know, here's your issue
with men. You don't shut up and let them talk
sometimes. You don't just keep the peace and
be quiet. I'm confused. I'm confused. What are
we going back, 40 fucking years? I'm sorry, I'm
not gonna have a man trample over me. Sorry,
and this is coming from someone who's been in
a relationship for seven fucking years, no breakups.
Like, I don't think you need to shut up and keep
the peace. Keeping the peace doesn't keep anybody's
peace. At all. Like, the issue never gets fucking
solved. You're gonna have an issue with it regardless
if you're quiet or not. Like, I don't understand
that. I also don't understand how I have to fit
certain molds. Oh, also how being so super skinny
is coming back. First of all, let's also point
out the dangers of that. I see every fucking
video. Oh my gosh. Especially with the Victoria's
Secret runway happening soon. Like, that was
beautiful. Last year's was beautiful, but everybody
hated it because they weren't skinny anymore.
Like, they were using normal people. Also in
my opinion that was weird, but that's like I
said, that's my opinion I understand Victoria's
Secret like like the supermodels, right? But
it's like and also the argument being brought
up with oh my gosh There's influencers in the
runway and stuff like that and like NBA play
and not NBA I'm having a brain fart of what the
girls called Oh W NBA right like Angel Reese
and Quinn Blackwell and all this is like In my
head, why should we have an issue with this when
women have just been fighting for attention long
enough? Like they want to be recognized for their
job and what they do and what they're good at
long enough. Why is it now she, because first
last year it was, they're not skinny enough.
They were fat shaming Tyra Banks, which I don't
do fat shaming, but Tyra Banks definitely bullied
a lot of people. But granted, She's a grown -ass
woman now. Like, why are we sitting up here pointing?
Because she walked her ass off, and like, we
had so many different, like, diverse models last
year for that runway. And all I seen on social
media after was, hey, they're not skinny, they're
not this, they're not this, and this year was,
oh, none of them are actually in the game, blah,
blah, blah, blah. Just be happy they're getting
the fucking recognition, because they're already
fighting for that fucking as it is, especially
as black women. Please. Relax. And then, we go
into the part, like I was just talking about
the skinniness, how we're posting it, like granted,
it's okay if you're tiny, if it's okay if you're
skinny, like I'm not saying this as someone who's
not skinny, like, oh my gosh, like, it's a bad
thing. No, that's perfectly fine, but I think
it gets to a point where you start pushing it
on people. Do we not understand what happened
because of this? Do we not understand anorexia
bulimia all these eating disorders that people
had? because of this because This was too fat
or having a butt was too fat or you need a horrible
like you need a tiny waistline and everybody's
on GLP one and like can we talk about it because
it really you like I Think my whole point is
it's really watch how our world our world is
how is our world being led right now? Right?
Everything's falling under it. Because these
are things that were happening, what, in the
early 2000s? I think? I don't know. Girl, I wasn't
alive. Girl, I wasn't alive. That's what happened,
right? None of these, like, this isn't healthy
habits. Like, it'd be different if you were pushing,
like, oh my gosh, hey, let's work out. No, everything
is let's be skinny now. Which is detrimental
to our younger generation growing up seeing this
and now thinking, oh my gosh, mom, let me stop
eating. Because growing up, I had so many best
friends who went through this shit. Who went
through this shit? So please, I don't - it's
not something that's cute, it's not healthy.
Just because it's trendy does not mean you need
to be doing it. Just because it's trendy doesn't
mean it needs to fit for you. You don't need
to be more skinny to be a woman. You don't need
to wear pink to be a woman. You don't need to
do anything more to be a woman other than just
fucking exist. Okay? Because it is hard enough
to fucking exist. Why make it any harder? Right?
And - my biggest issue with it is it's not it's
not men pushing this it's not it's not men sitting
here and saying oh my gosh she needs to do this
and she needs to do that no it's other women
who are criticizing other women for doing anything
right oh my gosh she's a basketball player why
is she walking a runway bitch why don't you see
that as cool i think it's cool as fuck that she's
out there Getting fucking like hoping like crazy
and she can still walk the damn runway It's just
a woman to me like the eight that eight in my
in my opinion in my opinion Like for me like
someone like Quinn you can be so fucking funny
and have the craziest Internet personality mind
you she's been doing this for years, right? Body's
tea nice tea like she's been modeling and creating
content, but to have two different personalities.
I feel like they hate that Right? Stick to your
narrative. Stick to where you are. Because you're
not allowed over here. Which should never be
the case. It's like a woman attack on woman.
Like, please. Can we all let up? Can we all let
up? Because you should not be punished for being
you. You should not like, let's say you don't
like pink. You don't like pink. You don't like
jewelry. You don't like, you know, getting your
nails done. You know, like shit like that. People
don't, not everybody likes that. And that's fine.
That doesn't make her any less and I it's just
with social media. It's that's all that's being
pushed right now and It's so easy to fall into
the narrative that that's right that that's true.
That's what we should be doing That is how we
are expected to behave Really sit back and think
about how stupid that fucking sounds Truly would
you be telling? A sixth grader this who was going
through puberty and everything else that she
needs to stop eating She needs to be skinny so
she can prepare for the Victoria's Secret one,
right? You're right. She does she never needs
to cuss she needs to be soft spoken, right? she
needs to calm down not let her anger get the
best of her and you know not be too dramatic
or Exaggerate or you know loud with her words
or demanding Standing up for herself. No, just
be quiet and keep the peace. What are you sick?
I'm sorry. I will I would never look at a child
or myself and sit here and say that I'm not Because
I don't think any of that has anything to do
with who she is as a as a person period I Want
her to be demanding and you know speak up for
what the fuck she wants and doing all this and
now it's also being viewed that woman Need to
have softer jobs. Let the corporate Betty live.
Let the corporate Betty live. I can't do it.
She can't period The surgeons the doctors like
all of that period but no it's and Also, you
know what since we're talking about jobs I'm
also gonna talk about the other side of it. People
are now criticizing women for doing content Do
y 'all not see how women can not even do anything
that they love without being ridiculed So please
stop letting it be you as another woman ridiculing
another woman Just because she does content or
makes videos or YouTube doesn't mean she's any
less than a doctor Right, that doesn't mean she's
any less than the doctor Those are two different
women who like two different things pursuing
two different things who are good at it If we're
happy with what they're doing, so why the fuck
does it matter? Why does it? Because if it really
was a woman support woman, we wouldn't be doing
all of this. We wouldn't because When I go outside,
I'm not worried about men. I'm not I look for
I'm being honest like I dress for the whole bit
like I dress for the bitches like this this is
for the woman like I'm not dressing for men which
I want her to look at me and say my outfit's
cute right but it's like now I go out and it's
it's it's woman judging me right it's just it's
just woman and I'm just like it's because of
social media and that's it because truly it feeds
our brains what we watch influences us to act
on the outside right and now to say all this
Like I said at the beginning this is not anything
to alienate any of this You know if you do believe
this or you have this stance, or you do like
you know participating in this that's perfectly
fine But I just want to say this to emphasize
that When you are doing these things make sure
you're not coming off so negatively and nasty
to other people because they don't enjoy the
same thing you do or viewing them as any less
than you because they don't like what you like
or they're not doing what you're doing because
when was it ever cool to make fun of somebody
because they don't like what you're doing or
they're not fitting the popular narrative because
I think it's cool as fuck to do whatever the
fuck you want as long as you're happy period
But it's also I'm not less of a person because
I'm not doing certain things I'm not gonna be
a bad wife because I'm not doing this I'm not
gonna be a bad mother because I'm not doing this
and also people like Another thing when it comes
to this what I've been seeing on social media.
It's like women also just hate like cuz it's
like Like when we're talking about abortion right
pro -choice not even abortion kids kids period
right? There's a group of women who don't want
kids Group of women who are iffy. Group of women
who really want kids. Like me, seeing the post
as someone who really wants kids, right? And
I don't see kids as all my be all, end all, like
that's it, that's my life. But I really want
kids and I've always really wanted kids, but
I also still plan to pursue to do every single
thing I want in life, period. Like kids aren't
stopping shit, right? But, it's like the second
people announce that they want a kid, I see this
a lot on social media, the second a woman announces,
oh my gosh, I'm pregnant, the comments, condolences,
abort it, kill it. Are y 'all okay? Are y 'all
okay? Because this is coming from somebody who
is pro -choice, right? Are y 'all okay, seriously?
Why would you say that to somebody? You don't
know if this woman has been trying 10 years for
kids, and now she's suddenly pregnant, all her
comments are filled with, oh, go kill it. Are
you okay? Just because you don't want kids Doesn't
mean anything and then I see every post is like
oh, but thank God you're not pregnant What about
the woman who do want to get pregnant? It's just
like you I feel like every single thing social
media makes everybody so Bold in a way so bold
in a way. It's so nasty in a way. Why would you
fix your lips to say that? Hmm Hmm because be
pro -choice do what the fuck you want to do period
like but but on the other side of the coin You
can't be mad at somebody else because they don't
want to do that same thing with marriage There's
woman who out there who only want to be married
and you know be a stay -at -home mom cool good
on you Just because I don't want that don't mean
I'm about to sit here in your face and be like
question mark Because I mean that's not that's
not something I want But if that's what you want
period you know be smart about it though be smart
about it And now we can understand that sometimes
there might be reasons we say this, right? Some
people, we might think they're unqualified. We
might think, why the fuck are you doing this?
Granted, I'm gonna be honest, sometimes judgment
is needed, right? But when it comes to hate and
unwanted judgment, that's different. That's extremely
different. Because why are you being so mean
to your counterpart? Why? Truly, why? I don't
understand why all of this is happening. It's
like women just want to be safe. Period, but
we can't do that with other women because there's
just so much judgment And this is I found this
episode cut sounds like so anti -woman. It's
not woman my number one I love the girls, but
it's it's so Damning and I feel like this is
also why female friendships don't work out because
everything is very superficial Everything is
very social media. Everything is very what have
I learned? What have I done? It's not real life
People go through real shit and do real things
and are real people who don't fit aesthetics
or fit how, you know, you're supposed to talk
or certain standards. You're just living. You're
just trying to make it by, which is what we all
should be focused on. We should all just be trying
to make it by and do what makes us happy. We
shouldn't be half like have to be worried about
being criticized by other people just for breathing.
I didn't really wear the right color today. I'm
not wearing something that's trendy. What the
fuck does it matter? Truly, what does it matter?
Life is too short. And I just wanna say, like
I think this whole episode, my whole point of
this episode was, don't let it get to you, right?
If you don't fit certain aesthetics or characteristics,
and let's say you are that soft aesthetic, right?
And then it flips, and now it's... Shown on social
media to be loud proud and whatever the fuck
you don't automatically have to switch either
Be who the fuck you want to be and just do it,
right? But we also shouldn't criticize our neighbors
because of that like I Also like I like that
my last thing I was getting criticized because
I didn't believe into a standardized like religion.
That's fine Like I'm not judging you because
of that. I just feel like amongst women We are
truly our only... What can I say? Like safety,
dare I say. Like it's supposed to be a sisterhood,
it's supposed to be safe within each other, but
it's not. If we don't have the same goals and
aspirations, or I don't like the same things
you do, or I don't act a certain way to fit a
perfect picture, then it's not okay. Then I'm
not... Socially acceptable brands don't want
to work with me people don't want to work with
me I don't want a husband can't find me apparently
friends can't find me. I'm I'm too dirty -mouthed
I'm too too loud. Oh Please gag me like like
what the fuck I don't care like there's too much
shit to be worrying about this least of my priorities,
so just know my overall point of this video was
Support each other support each other in rights
wrongs But be healthy about it, right? Stop promoting
unhealthy things because I just want you to,
like, start to think of things like, if I was
my younger self in middle school seeing this,
how would that affect me? How would that affect
me? Would I still be who I am today? Or would
I be insecure because I don't have the newest
trend, like, trend yugs? How would you feel?
How would you feel you gotta like take a step
back and like view yourself talking to your like
a little girl or your little self because it
truly changes the whole fucking narrative and
I just Yeah, I think it was just something that
I was kind of being shoved down my throat especially
with social media. Everything is kind of very
Coming at you on every single app or site you
click which is fine at social media. That's what
it's supposed to be You're supposed to post what's
trendy and you know follow into that, but it's
also like we have to realize The negative things
that these things can bring up, right? Especially
with the younger generation I'm really worried
about the body image part on that Because I just
like there's a lot of damage that can be done
there more so like the whole Feminine thing.
I don't think that's really a big issue, but
I do think I don't think it's an issue at all
honestly Because I think it's something woman,
you know, you have the choice to do and it's
cute as fuck like period but I do think that
it's important that if you're not that to not
overthink or See yourself as listed right? This
really wasn't in in Opposing side to that it
was more of so hey if you're not that don't Don't
get upset about it because it's okay It's okay
to not be that. It's okay to not like this or
that. It's fine. Just be you. Have your own spunk
character. Do whatever the fuck you want to do.
Right? Um, I just really hope you guys understood
this episode. Um, yeah. I really hope you did.
I liked it, honestly. I feel like it's something
I really like talking about because it's very
current. the time very very current but yeah
like I said if you like my podcast I love my
podcast I hope you love it as well leave a review
leave a rating it's available on every single
site videos up on YouTube of course you're watching
me here you're watching me here yeah yeah so
yeah I love you guys so much and I hope you have
a blessed a blessed week