WEBVTT 00:00:01.660 --> 00:00:10.140 Guys is this thing on? It is your host Zoe and 00:00:10.140 --> 00:00:12.919 I am back with another freaking episode on the 00:00:12.919 --> 00:00:15.740 did I over share podcast today How are you guys 00:00:15.740 --> 00:00:19.379 doing? Hope you are doing well. I'm doing well. 00:00:20.100 --> 00:00:23.179 Um You know, I hope September was full of blessings 00:00:23.179 --> 00:00:26.359 for you guys and you are excited for the fall 00:00:26.359 --> 00:00:28.379 because apparently it's officially fall like 00:00:28.379 --> 00:00:31.399 when we said fall was months ago and It was not 00:00:31.399 --> 00:00:35.219 months ago. It officially just started. But yeah, 00:00:35.280 --> 00:00:38.820 I hope that's going well for you guys. And yeah, 00:00:38.840 --> 00:00:40.780 I don't really have any business to get into, 00:00:41.619 --> 00:00:44.579 honestly, other than I've just been working filming 00:00:44.579 --> 00:00:48.119 content every single day and finding new ways 00:00:48.119 --> 00:00:51.140 to make content that you guys enjoy, whether 00:00:51.140 --> 00:00:54.399 it be from my personal page, my podcast, herbs, 00:00:54.560 --> 00:00:56.799 you know. 20 million different things. I did 00:00:56.799 --> 00:01:01.240 also open an Etsy where I give readings There's 00:01:01.240 --> 00:01:02.960 a sale going on right now if you want to catch 00:01:02.960 --> 00:01:05.719 that I'll put it in the description down below. 00:01:05.760 --> 00:01:09.099 So just check that out. And yeah today's episode 00:01:09.099 --> 00:01:14.379 really I really I had a couple instances these 00:01:14.379 --> 00:01:17.920 past two weeks Which really brought me to this 00:01:17.920 --> 00:01:21.299 topic and a topic being do we know ourself? Like 00:01:21.299 --> 00:01:24.420 what is our self identity? Who do we see ourselves 00:01:24.420 --> 00:01:27.780 as? Are we comfortable enough to stand ten toes 00:01:27.780 --> 00:01:30.359 on why we do what we do and why we act the way 00:01:30.359 --> 00:01:32.620 we act, why we talk the way we talk? You know, 00:01:32.859 --> 00:01:35.659 that whole thing, right? Because, and I'm gonna 00:01:35.659 --> 00:01:38.560 let you know what really drew me to wanna talk 00:01:38.560 --> 00:01:43.000 about this first. The first thing was we know 00:01:43.000 --> 00:01:45.900 that nobody... Don't really tell nobody my business 00:01:45.900 --> 00:01:49.280 in my like personal life, right? So when I do 00:01:49.280 --> 00:01:51.739 have these family members who are on the phone 00:01:51.739 --> 00:01:54.180 with other family members talked about oh is 00:01:54.180 --> 00:01:57.700 she gonna cuz um My fiance's family was up here 00:01:57.700 --> 00:02:00.319 visiting and I was you know talking to them and 00:02:00.319 --> 00:02:02.640 stuff like that and you know my family on top 00:02:02.640 --> 00:02:04.950 of that so it's just like when people are I'm 00:02:04.950 --> 00:02:06.969 like this is not trying to come off in a bad 00:02:06.969 --> 00:02:08.650 way, but when people are in my business out of 00:02:08.650 --> 00:02:11.389 what I'm about to do with my life How can I do 00:02:11.389 --> 00:02:13.889 this? What am I doing to get together kind of 00:02:13.889 --> 00:02:17.150 in a judgy way, right? When they when they're 00:02:17.150 --> 00:02:20.159 not on my path It kind of gets me to thinking 00:02:20.159 --> 00:02:23.020 about myself and getting more confidence in myself. 00:02:23.139 --> 00:02:25.520 I feel like back then when I was approached with 00:02:25.520 --> 00:02:28.240 these topics or these situations where it was 00:02:28.240 --> 00:02:30.379 like, so what is she doing? What is she about 00:02:30.379 --> 00:02:32.319 to do? Like does she even, you know, is it figured 00:02:32.319 --> 00:02:35.699 out? Is she just being reckless? I didn't know 00:02:35.699 --> 00:02:37.520 how to handle it. Honestly, I was like, damn, 00:02:37.599 --> 00:02:39.680 am I being reckless? Like I couldn't trust my 00:02:39.680 --> 00:02:42.840 own gut. Like I never knew where I was. And now 00:02:42.840 --> 00:02:45.219 when I was like tackled with that question and 00:02:45.219 --> 00:02:49.469 I overheard it, I was like, yeah. I do know who 00:02:49.469 --> 00:02:51.050 I am. I do know what I want to be doing, and 00:02:51.050 --> 00:02:53.490 I feel good as hell doing it. Like, this is the 00:02:53.490 --> 00:02:57.069 happiest I've ever been. I'm expressing myself 00:02:57.069 --> 00:02:59.150 in every single way I can. So yeah, I am doing 00:02:59.150 --> 00:03:01.610 good, and I do know what I'm doing, and it will 00:03:01.610 --> 00:03:04.229 work out for me. And I'm not going to explain 00:03:04.229 --> 00:03:06.389 that to anybody, but it's something I feel like 00:03:06.389 --> 00:03:09.080 it was a confirmation of myself. Which really 00:03:09.080 --> 00:03:10.659 grounded me and brought me back together that 00:03:10.659 --> 00:03:13.960 hey I really am confident with who I am now and 00:03:13.960 --> 00:03:16.300 then another one Which this is no hate to the 00:03:16.300 --> 00:03:18.740 person who left it at all Honestly, we we all 00:03:18.740 --> 00:03:20.379 have our own opinions and I love her for commenting 00:03:20.379 --> 00:03:23.960 that but under my last episode She had commented 00:03:23.960 --> 00:03:26.159 more so like she was just like prayers prayers 00:03:26.159 --> 00:03:28.599 You know that and of course that like thank you. 00:03:28.699 --> 00:03:32.419 Thank you, and then it was like but just a tidbit 00:03:32.750 --> 00:03:35.610 You're cussing, you cuss too much. It's a turn 00:03:35.610 --> 00:03:38.430 off. It's disgusting. Blah, blah, blah, blah. 00:03:38.750 --> 00:03:40.370 Whole bunch of other things, which first of all, 00:03:40.569 --> 00:03:42.310 in my head immediately I'm like, I'm not trying 00:03:42.310 --> 00:03:45.650 to turn you on. I'm just being me, right? And 00:03:45.650 --> 00:03:48.469 it's also like, it made me just think like, hey, 00:03:48.530 --> 00:03:51.550 this really is me. There's so many, like so many 00:03:51.550 --> 00:03:53.710 of you guys who listen to me and love me for 00:03:53.710 --> 00:03:55.949 just who I am, what I talk about, and what I 00:03:55.949 --> 00:03:59.659 do. And... Not everybody's gonna love me, not 00:03:59.659 --> 00:04:01.860 everybody's gonna love how I talk or, you know, 00:04:02.120 --> 00:04:04.400 handle myself, which is perfectly fine, which 00:04:04.400 --> 00:04:06.419 I'm just like, okay. And then another thing, 00:04:06.439 --> 00:04:09.199 when I had released my tarot and stuff like that, 00:04:09.580 --> 00:04:11.659 this girl had slid up and she was just like, 00:04:11.819 --> 00:04:14.500 hey, you know you're doing witchcraft, which 00:04:14.500 --> 00:04:17.000 I'm just like, first of all, I don't even practice 00:04:17.000 --> 00:04:19.120 that, I practice something else. And then on 00:04:19.120 --> 00:04:21.839 top of that, like, even if I am like... what's 00:04:21.839 --> 00:04:24.040 the meaning and then so i'm like okay i'm just 00:04:24.040 --> 00:04:25.939 not gonna respond and then i was like i'm gonna 00:04:25.939 --> 00:04:28.720 decide to remove you simply just because i'm 00:04:28.720 --> 00:04:30.560 real big on energy and i feel like if you don't 00:04:30.560 --> 00:04:33.199 like what i'm doing i don't really want you watching 00:04:33.199 --> 00:04:34.639 my stuff just because i don't want those bad 00:04:34.639 --> 00:04:37.199 vibes right no hate no harm no nothing like i 00:04:37.199 --> 00:04:40.100 don't thank you like i went like i thank you 00:04:40.100 --> 00:04:42.600 so i just removed her and then she texted me 00:04:42.600 --> 00:04:44.360 on messenger i didn't even know who like this 00:04:44.360 --> 00:04:46.480 girl was she texted me on messenger a whole bible 00:04:46.480 --> 00:04:50.199 verse um deuteronomy i think What it was like 00:04:50.199 --> 00:04:52.240 no necromancers, and you know witchcraft and 00:04:52.240 --> 00:04:55.240 all this stuff, and I was just like first off 00:04:55.240 --> 00:04:59.319 To say I read the Bible all the damn time It's 00:04:59.319 --> 00:05:01.379 actually used in my practice if we really wanted 00:05:01.379 --> 00:05:05.120 to know but then on top of that like So what 00:05:05.120 --> 00:05:07.160 like if I don't believe in what you want to believe 00:05:07.160 --> 00:05:09.560 in that's okay But it also brought me to myself 00:05:09.560 --> 00:05:13.220 where I'm like hey. This is me This is what I 00:05:13.220 --> 00:05:15.079 do. This is what I practice, and if you don't 00:05:15.079 --> 00:05:18.250 that's okay. I'm not pushing it on you I'm not. 00:05:18.329 --> 00:05:20.389 You don't have to believe. You can think I'm 00:05:20.389 --> 00:05:23.269 talking fucking crazy. And that's okay. That's 00:05:23.269 --> 00:05:25.889 okay. Sometimes I might be. Sometimes I might 00:05:25.889 --> 00:05:28.870 be. But I think my point to all of this is saying, 00:05:30.550 --> 00:05:33.949 do you know yourself? Because I had to start 00:05:33.949 --> 00:05:36.329 asking myself that question because I do know 00:05:36.329 --> 00:05:39.149 myself now. And it is one of the most comforting 00:05:39.149 --> 00:05:42.730 feelings ever. Right? I feel so put together 00:05:42.730 --> 00:05:46.860 and headstrong and faithful. within myself which 00:05:46.860 --> 00:05:49.899 is like where I can make these moves and honestly 00:05:49.899 --> 00:05:52.399 and I think what really did it for me which really 00:05:52.399 --> 00:05:55.420 made me trust my gut is leaving my job truly 00:05:55.420 --> 00:05:58.959 because For months on end. I would just sit there 00:05:58.959 --> 00:06:01.079 being like hey at this that this urge I need 00:06:01.079 --> 00:06:02.980 to leave I need to leave I need to go for my 00:06:02.980 --> 00:06:04.879 podcast and all these other things I've been 00:06:04.879 --> 00:06:06.839 doing I need to leave I need to leave the money 00:06:06.839 --> 00:06:09.000 will be figured out I just need I can't do this 00:06:09.000 --> 00:06:11.879 and I was always just led with fear where I didn't 00:06:11.879 --> 00:06:13.519 want to do this I didn't want to make that step 00:06:13.519 --> 00:06:15.579 because I'm just like What if it doesn't work 00:06:15.579 --> 00:06:17.959 out for me? How can it not work out for me if 00:06:17.959 --> 00:06:22.240 I'm working my ass out for me, right? Like, if 00:06:22.240 --> 00:06:25.220 you keep working, I don't think, like, you could 00:06:25.220 --> 00:06:27.019 fail. Like, we might have some bumps in the road, 00:06:27.019 --> 00:06:31.079 but you cannot fail ultimately. And I, when I 00:06:31.079 --> 00:06:33.860 quit, I had that belief in myself. I finally 00:06:33.860 --> 00:06:37.459 mustered up the courage to say, hey, get it. 00:06:38.060 --> 00:06:40.500 I'm ready for this new chapter of my life. I 00:06:40.500 --> 00:06:43.720 know how good it can get for me. let me do it 00:06:43.720 --> 00:06:47.120 and I know this will make me the happiest and 00:06:47.120 --> 00:06:51.060 ever since I did that I think I've in a way come 00:06:51.060 --> 00:06:54.500 home to myself like I now have time to do all 00:06:54.500 --> 00:06:57.399 the things I want to do like I I pour into myself 00:06:57.399 --> 00:06:59.540 in so many different aspects now I'm back into 00:06:59.540 --> 00:07:02.819 writing I'm back in a reading I do my makeup 00:07:02.819 --> 00:07:04.699 all the time I'm making videos about doing my 00:07:04.699 --> 00:07:07.639 makeup I'm ordering fun shit that I never even 00:07:07.639 --> 00:07:11.220 I feel like I have Like I might have less money 00:07:11.220 --> 00:07:13.079 now, but I feel like I had less money with the 00:07:13.079 --> 00:07:15.639 job It's making sense like I don't know and it's 00:07:15.639 --> 00:07:17.660 maybe because I didn't prioritize my needs right 00:07:17.660 --> 00:07:21.040 and that's what I'm asking Who are you? Who are 00:07:21.040 --> 00:07:23.759 you because if you allow yourself to have the 00:07:23.759 --> 00:07:27.040 time to sit there which? Granted I know is not 00:07:27.040 --> 00:07:29.240 relatively available for everybody, but anyway 00:07:29.240 --> 00:07:32.180 you see fit I feel like you should make that 00:07:32.180 --> 00:07:35.439 jump that jump you're so scared to make to connect 00:07:35.439 --> 00:07:39.139 with your true self I Shave my legs on two weeks 00:07:39.139 --> 00:07:41.279 now. I did not do that honestly after coming 00:07:41.279 --> 00:07:42.939 home from work. I didn't want to do anything 00:07:42.939 --> 00:07:45.699 I didn't want to do anything. I just lay down 00:07:45.699 --> 00:07:47.920 and went to bed and just scrolled on tik -tok 00:07:47.920 --> 00:07:50.680 That's all I did and now I get to create pour 00:07:50.680 --> 00:07:53.699 into my passions and pour into myself every single 00:07:53.699 --> 00:07:57.519 day, and I think That's why this that's why I 00:07:57.519 --> 00:07:59.120 want to talk about this why I feel like this 00:07:59.120 --> 00:08:02.029 message is so big because it's just like So many 00:08:02.029 --> 00:08:03.870 of us are stuck in this cycle where we don't 00:08:03.870 --> 00:08:06.670 know ourselves, right? And that goes into all 00:08:06.670 --> 00:08:08.670 the other fucking episodes I've done. We don't 00:08:08.670 --> 00:08:10.649 know ourselves, so it causes this issue, this 00:08:10.649 --> 00:08:12.949 issue, this issue, lack of boundaries, and so 00:08:12.949 --> 00:08:15.350 many different other things because we don't 00:08:15.350 --> 00:08:17.370 know ourselves. We don't have the time to cater 00:08:17.370 --> 00:08:19.209 for ourselves, which yeah, we can blame it on 00:08:19.209 --> 00:08:22.769 the world. We can blame it on every single external 00:08:22.769 --> 00:08:27.019 factor. Going on we can do that right but for 00:08:27.019 --> 00:08:29.819 so long I had to I made myself the victim my 00:08:29.819 --> 00:08:34.059 entire life like I literally Hey, I don't have 00:08:34.059 --> 00:08:37.080 enough money for this blah blah blah. I Make 00:08:37.080 --> 00:08:39.019 myself it and go get some more money bitch. Like 00:08:39.019 --> 00:08:40.700 what the fuck are you doing? And now I don't 00:08:40.700 --> 00:08:43.440 talk to myself like that, right? I don't view 00:08:44.039 --> 00:08:46.659 life coming at me like life is not attacking 00:08:46.659 --> 00:08:48.759 me I always viewed it that life was attacking 00:08:48.759 --> 00:08:51.340 me and I could never win or this bad thing was 00:08:51.340 --> 00:08:53.340 always happening now I don't view it like that 00:08:53.340 --> 00:08:56.960 I wake up on cloud nine even even if life is 00:08:56.960 --> 00:08:59.179 going shitty right even if I don't know how I'm 00:08:59.179 --> 00:09:00.940 gonna pay rent even if I don't know how I'm gonna 00:09:00.940 --> 00:09:02.580 do this even if I'm still talking to the food 00:09:02.580 --> 00:09:05.179 stamps guy and doing yada yada yada I still wake 00:09:05.179 --> 00:09:08.899 up like hey this will work out for me God has 00:09:08.899 --> 00:09:12.269 me I have me I have me. At the end of the day, 00:09:12.350 --> 00:09:13.929 you need to have that statement in your head 00:09:13.929 --> 00:09:18.250 that I have me. You trust yourself enough to 00:09:18.250 --> 00:09:21.450 not fuck this all up. Right? And I feel like 00:09:21.450 --> 00:09:23.789 most of us don't have that trust in ourselves. 00:09:24.210 --> 00:09:27.129 You cannot even make a decision without going 00:09:27.129 --> 00:09:29.990 to someone else. Hey, should I do this? I don't 00:09:29.990 --> 00:09:32.990 know, should you? Ask yourself, should you? Because 00:09:32.990 --> 00:09:35.649 deep down, how do you feel? When you think about 00:09:35.649 --> 00:09:38.190 this thing, do you feel good? Do you feel bad? 00:09:38.429 --> 00:09:41.360 Are you scared? Because you need to figure out 00:09:41.360 --> 00:09:45.740 if it's your gut or anxiety for me I am anxiety 00:09:45.740 --> 00:09:48.419 ridden all the damn time and it's something now 00:09:48.419 --> 00:09:51.620 that I'm like trying to train my mind to fix 00:09:51.620 --> 00:09:54.240 It's kind of so funny thinking about it in the 00:09:54.240 --> 00:09:57.639 process, right? I Think my cat's at the door. 00:09:58.139 --> 00:10:00.759 Oh No, she's not but anyway something I try to 00:10:00.759 --> 00:10:03.370 think about in the process, right? So Like I 00:10:03.370 --> 00:10:05.549 said, positive mindset, speaking life into myself. 00:10:05.730 --> 00:10:08.590 So I don't say I'm broke. I say, hey, I'm trying 00:10:08.590 --> 00:10:10.090 to figure out how to get more money for this. 00:10:10.710 --> 00:10:13.289 I, I found my dream house, right? Let me tell 00:10:13.289 --> 00:10:14.809 you this. I found my dream house. Me and Mechi 00:10:14.809 --> 00:10:17.409 always drive around looking at houses, right? 00:10:18.090 --> 00:10:19.570 We want to start a family. We want to do this. 00:10:19.629 --> 00:10:20.909 We're kind of looking at where we want to be. 00:10:20.950 --> 00:10:23.129 We have two different designs. I'm going to win. 00:10:23.389 --> 00:10:25.370 And at the end of the day, I found my fucking 00:10:25.370 --> 00:10:26.830 dream house. And you want to know what I have 00:10:26.830 --> 00:10:29.090 done? And this might sound crazy, but it's not 00:10:29.090 --> 00:10:31.620 to me because looking at the science part of 00:10:31.620 --> 00:10:33.440 it this is a whole little separate tangent but 00:10:33.440 --> 00:10:35.740 looking at the science part of it for manifesting 00:10:35.740 --> 00:10:37.960 it is not created until you actually see it like 00:10:37.960 --> 00:10:39.879 the atoms start fucking forming once you start 00:10:39.879 --> 00:10:41.659 seeing something so it's like you start seeing 00:10:41.659 --> 00:10:43.379 it every day and saying oh i want this i want 00:10:43.379 --> 00:10:45.039 this i want this the more you see it the more 00:10:45.039 --> 00:10:47.659 it happens like you know like you ever get a 00:10:47.659 --> 00:10:50.120 new car right and now you see that car everywhere 00:10:50.399 --> 00:10:53.179 Right? It has to fucking exist, right? So me 00:10:53.179 --> 00:10:55.159 knowing this, I took a picture of this house. 00:10:55.820 --> 00:10:57.639 Like I said, it might be crazy, bear with me. 00:10:57.879 --> 00:11:00.039 I wrote down the address and I put it in my notes. 00:11:00.259 --> 00:11:02.360 And you know what I do? Every Thursday, because 00:11:02.360 --> 00:11:05.940 it's your birthday, lucky day, or Monday, I drive 00:11:05.940 --> 00:11:09.440 to this neighborhood. I walk around this neighborhood. 00:11:09.879 --> 00:11:12.220 I picture myself being here. You wanna know what? 00:11:12.240 --> 00:11:15.840 Because I won't fail. This house... Okay, sorry 00:11:15.840 --> 00:11:19.139 about that. But like I said, I... Walk around 00:11:19.139 --> 00:11:21.279 this house. I picture myself in this neighborhood 00:11:21.279 --> 00:11:24.799 all the time. You want to know why? I'll get 00:11:24.799 --> 00:11:27.659 there. It doesn't matter if this house is five 00:11:27.659 --> 00:11:29.860 point five million dollars. It doesn't matter 00:11:29.860 --> 00:11:31.580 if this house is five point five million dollars. 00:11:32.360 --> 00:11:34.720 I'm gonna get it. Who says five million is a 00:11:34.720 --> 00:11:36.740 lot of money. That's not a lot of money. I'm 00:11:36.740 --> 00:11:38.179 gonna get it. You don't know why? Because I trust 00:11:38.179 --> 00:11:41.159 myself. I trust myself that hey, it might take 00:11:41.159 --> 00:11:43.000 a couple years. It might even take a couple months. 00:11:43.440 --> 00:11:46.590 Who knows where I'll be? Who knows? But I trust 00:11:46.590 --> 00:11:49.850 that no matter what, I will get there. I put 00:11:49.850 --> 00:11:53.970 my all into myself. Now. I can never say I did 00:11:53.970 --> 00:11:57.049 that before. Ever. I respect myself so much now. 00:11:57.750 --> 00:11:59.070 You know, let me get back to actually what I 00:11:59.070 --> 00:12:00.889 was talking about because clearly we're not on 00:12:00.889 --> 00:12:03.769 the same page. But um, no, what I was saying, 00:12:03.970 --> 00:12:07.289 it is funny seeing it in the moment trying to 00:12:07.289 --> 00:12:10.610 retrain your brain. Right? So I'll catch myself 00:12:10.610 --> 00:12:17.169 saying, oh, I'm broke. No I'm not. Now I say, 00:12:17.950 --> 00:12:20.090 bitch no you're not, like I literally, this is 00:12:20.090 --> 00:12:22.029 gonna sound so weird, but when I think a shit 00:12:22.029 --> 00:12:24.169 I don't wanna think or people I don't wanna think 00:12:24.169 --> 00:12:29.289 negative things, I imagine, I imagine myself 00:12:29.289 --> 00:12:32.409 taking a shit on them. Like in my head if I see 00:12:32.409 --> 00:12:34.870 a woman or like somebody or like a situation 00:12:34.870 --> 00:12:37.889 or a thought that I don't like, I physically 00:12:37.889 --> 00:12:41.309 in my brain imagine myself dropping a shit on 00:12:41.309 --> 00:12:44.759 them. Yep. fuck you literally I literally will 00:12:44.759 --> 00:12:47.639 make the out loud because what the fuck I'm not 00:12:47.639 --> 00:12:50.000 thinking like that I'm not I don't accept myself 00:12:50.000 --> 00:12:53.139 to think like that so and it's like I'll have 00:12:53.139 --> 00:12:55.860 and this might sound crazy you know I talk to 00:12:55.860 --> 00:12:57.700 myself in my head I think we all do I've heard 00:12:57.700 --> 00:13:00.899 some people don't but like for me like I said 00:13:00.899 --> 00:13:03.559 when I'll say I'm broke and I am verbally I can 00:13:03.559 --> 00:13:06.039 say oh no I'm not I'm just trying to work find 00:13:06.039 --> 00:13:07.740 the money right I'm just trying to find the money 00:13:07.740 --> 00:13:09.299 because don't ever call yourself fucking broke 00:13:09.759 --> 00:13:11.879 Even if you are. Just say, hey, I'm trying to 00:13:11.879 --> 00:13:14.100 find the money right now. Right? I'll literally 00:13:14.100 --> 00:13:16.679 say, oh, I'm broke. And then in my head, well, 00:13:16.700 --> 00:13:18.320 my head will say I'm broke. Right? And then in 00:13:18.320 --> 00:13:19.700 my head, I'll be having a whole fucking argument. 00:13:19.840 --> 00:13:21.759 I'll be like, bitch, don't say that. Don't ever 00:13:21.759 --> 00:13:23.720 speak to you about yourself like that. You are 00:13:23.720 --> 00:13:25.299 wealthy. You are attractive. Blah, blah, blah, 00:13:25.299 --> 00:13:26.899 blah. So many fucking different things. And my 00:13:26.899 --> 00:13:29.379 head will literally respond, OK. I'm literally 00:13:29.379 --> 00:13:31.259 retraining my brain how to think. You don't know 00:13:31.259 --> 00:13:32.919 why? Because I'm trying to invest in myself. 00:13:33.179 --> 00:13:36.539 I'm trying to invest on my subconscious mind, 00:13:36.580 --> 00:13:38.279 because your subconscious mind doesn't know real 00:13:38.279 --> 00:13:40.100 life and not real life, right? Every thought 00:13:40.100 --> 00:13:43.000 we have, it thinks it's true. So you wanna think 00:13:43.000 --> 00:13:46.259 positive things, right? But also, when you have 00:13:46.259 --> 00:13:48.899 people come forward about stuff, you wanna be 00:13:48.899 --> 00:13:52.480 so rooted in yourself, you have the answer. Hey, 00:13:52.700 --> 00:13:55.840 Zoe, why do you do this? Hm, why do I do this? 00:13:56.460 --> 00:13:59.720 I do it because of this. Don't, I like, I used 00:13:59.720 --> 00:14:03.620 to fold in on myself a lot, like... of anxiety, 00:14:04.259 --> 00:14:05.779 embarrassment, so many different things. Like 00:14:05.779 --> 00:14:09.019 I was just scared of life, scared of conversation, 00:14:09.220 --> 00:14:11.080 like scared of fucking anything. Like I hated 00:14:11.080 --> 00:14:14.480 being questioned and I hated having an ounce 00:14:14.480 --> 00:14:17.679 of criticism. Not criticism, but like more so, 00:14:18.500 --> 00:14:20.840 because I can't say judgment either. Like I said, 00:14:21.100 --> 00:14:23.120 I really, I just have to say questioning. Like 00:14:23.120 --> 00:14:26.570 I hate when someone... is going opposite of what 00:14:26.570 --> 00:14:28.210 I want to do, right? I'm not talking about general 00:14:28.210 --> 00:14:30.269 situations. I'm talking about, like, if I say, 00:14:30.409 --> 00:14:32.289 hey, I'm about to start this business, right? 00:14:32.490 --> 00:14:34.049 Which is also another reason I don't tell people 00:14:34.049 --> 00:14:36.389 much anymore. Because when I would say, oh, I 00:14:36.389 --> 00:14:38.029 want to start this business, I would be hit with, 00:14:38.190 --> 00:14:39.750 oh, but how are you even going to do that? Or, 00:14:39.750 --> 00:14:41.809 you know, so many different negative things which 00:14:41.809 --> 00:14:44.789 I never had an answer to. I could never fully 00:14:44.789 --> 00:14:46.809 back myself. I was like, well, damn, how am I 00:14:46.809 --> 00:14:49.190 going to do that? You know, how is this going 00:14:49.190 --> 00:14:50.789 to work for me? What if nobody does this? What 00:14:50.789 --> 00:14:54.679 if nobody buys this? No. Now I don't think like 00:14:54.679 --> 00:14:57.820 that. I prepare myself in ways where, hey, if 00:14:57.820 --> 00:14:59.659 I am hit with this uncomfortable question, I 00:14:59.659 --> 00:15:02.320 have an answer. You know what? And a lot of my 00:15:02.320 --> 00:15:05.940 answers recently have been, I'm vibing. It'll 00:15:05.940 --> 00:15:08.460 work out. It'll work out. It'll work out. It'll 00:15:08.460 --> 00:15:10.940 work out. I trust myself. And guess what? It 00:15:10.940 --> 00:15:15.340 has done. Worked. out okay you really just gotta 00:15:15.340 --> 00:15:17.340 give yourself a little bit of faith a little 00:15:17.340 --> 00:15:20.159 bit of faith goes a long way and trust yourself 00:15:20.159 --> 00:15:22.519 for the sake of fucking god please trust yourself 00:15:22.519 --> 00:15:25.379 i caught myself doing this all the time anytime 00:15:25.379 --> 00:15:28.340 i had a thought a damn decision i'd run it by 00:15:28.340 --> 00:15:32.220 everybody me texting jordan hey how does this 00:15:32.220 --> 00:15:34.559 sound hey should i do this how should i reply 00:15:34.559 --> 00:15:36.440 back to this email how should i do this me to 00:15:36.440 --> 00:15:38.139 meet you how should i do this do you think this 00:15:38.139 --> 00:15:40.379 is cute do you think i this mind you it's my 00:15:40.379 --> 00:15:42.179 whole creative process if i think it's cute it's 00:15:42.179 --> 00:15:44.620 cute And I still catch myself doing that sometimes, 00:15:44.740 --> 00:15:46.679 like when I just, I uploaded a makeup video on 00:15:46.679 --> 00:15:49.039 my personal TikTok before I filmed this, right? 00:15:49.320 --> 00:15:51.039 And to myself, I was like, what if this isn't 00:15:51.039 --> 00:15:52.600 aesthetic enough? Like, will people not watch 00:15:52.600 --> 00:15:55.080 it? But why am I thinking like that? This is 00:15:55.080 --> 00:15:58.779 for my pleasure. I made this video because I 00:15:58.779 --> 00:16:02.100 felt good, because I wanted to. Why does it matter 00:16:02.100 --> 00:16:04.899 what anyone else thinks? I'm so rooted in myself. 00:16:05.240 --> 00:16:07.820 I know I'm T, bitch. I know the video's good. 00:16:07.899 --> 00:16:10.500 Like, I know it's gonna get watched. Even if 00:16:10.500 --> 00:16:12.279 it gets watched by two viewers. Even if it gets 00:16:12.279 --> 00:16:15.940 watched by me. It got watched. Did it not? Did 00:16:15.940 --> 00:16:19.620 it not? Moral of the point. Moral of the story? 00:16:19.919 --> 00:16:22.139 Moral of the point? Who the fuck knows? Anyway, 00:16:22.659 --> 00:16:26.659 moral of the story. You need to invest in yourself. 00:16:27.259 --> 00:16:29.620 Spending money on yourself? Never a waste. Spending 00:16:29.620 --> 00:16:31.740 time on yourself? Never a waste. You need to 00:16:31.740 --> 00:16:34.320 invest so deeply in yourself. You can answer 00:16:34.320 --> 00:16:35.759 those uncomfortable questions. You can be in 00:16:35.759 --> 00:16:38.019 uncomfortable situations. You can be hit with 00:16:38.019 --> 00:16:39.759 judgment and criticism and so many different 00:16:39.759 --> 00:16:42.120 fucking things and still be like, hey, well, 00:16:42.120 --> 00:16:43.620 this is what the fuck I want to do, so I'm gonna 00:16:43.620 --> 00:16:47.120 do it. Even if it's something like socially unacceptable, 00:16:47.919 --> 00:16:51.019 right? Like, you know how people talk about strippers, 00:16:51.299 --> 00:16:53.879 right? But let's say you're like, oh, I want 00:16:53.879 --> 00:16:56.659 a strip. And I'm good as fuck at pole dance and 00:16:56.659 --> 00:16:58.559 I wanna do this, blah blah blah. But you have 00:16:58.559 --> 00:17:01.299 everybody around you saying, nah nah nah, so 00:17:01.299 --> 00:17:03.340 many fucking different things. What are you gonna 00:17:03.340 --> 00:17:05.640 do? You gonna listen to what the fuck you wanna 00:17:05.640 --> 00:17:07.240 do and take your talent where the fuck you wanna 00:17:07.240 --> 00:17:11.940 take it? Anyway, are you gonna do that? Or are 00:17:11.940 --> 00:17:13.680 you gonna listen to all this thing and then stop 00:17:13.680 --> 00:17:16.220 yourself from expressing yourself? Moving your 00:17:16.220 --> 00:17:18.339 body how you want to because you're good at it, 00:17:18.460 --> 00:17:19.980 you know, it's so many different talents like 00:17:19.980 --> 00:17:22.359 that Oh people want to make art but it's like 00:17:22.359 --> 00:17:24.500 nuanced art and nobody wants it's not modern 00:17:24.500 --> 00:17:26.920 art It's not this that the other or it is simple 00:17:26.920 --> 00:17:30.099 and it is plain Somebody will like it and even 00:17:30.099 --> 00:17:32.980 if nobody does you like it You need to have that 00:17:32.980 --> 00:17:35.619 mindset that even if nobody likes my stuff I 00:17:35.619 --> 00:17:37.799 like it even if nobody trusts what I'm doing 00:17:37.880 --> 00:17:40.839 I trust what I'm doing. Even if everybody around 00:17:40.839 --> 00:17:44.920 me is questioning my life path, I might not know 00:17:44.920 --> 00:17:47.420 where I'm going, but I trust it. I'll figure 00:17:47.420 --> 00:17:50.720 it out. We'll skip along the fucking way, okay? 00:17:51.180 --> 00:17:54.200 You need to trust yourself. It will be your best 00:17:54.200 --> 00:17:56.460 investment, your hardest and biggest investment, 00:17:56.940 --> 00:18:00.039 but your best investment. Always. You cannot 00:18:00.039 --> 00:18:02.180 depend on other people to invest in you. Now, 00:18:02.180 --> 00:18:03.779 if somebody loves you, they're gonna invest in 00:18:03.779 --> 00:18:05.859 you, right? Right? And that can only be a benefit. 00:18:06.220 --> 00:18:08.200 But you cannot rely on people to do that because 00:18:08.200 --> 00:18:11.119 you need to be able to do it yourself fully and 00:18:11.119 --> 00:18:12.700 stand up there loud and proud and be like, hey, 00:18:12.740 --> 00:18:14.160 this is what the fuck I'm doing. This is why 00:18:14.160 --> 00:18:17.299 I'm doing it. And this is that period. This period. 00:18:17.460 --> 00:18:21.279 And guess what? You will get your rewards. You 00:18:21.279 --> 00:18:25.299 will get your rewards. Blessings will come your 00:18:25.299 --> 00:18:27.799 way. You will be so fruitful in so many different 00:18:27.799 --> 00:18:30.420 ways you never even thought were possible. The 00:18:30.420 --> 00:18:32.559 second you believe in yourself is the second 00:18:32.559 --> 00:18:35.250 everything takes off. Right because you can know 00:18:35.250 --> 00:18:36.750 it you can have all these thoughts in your head, 00:18:36.750 --> 00:18:39.849 but if you don't act on it What's gonna happen? 00:18:40.250 --> 00:18:42.970 Nothing Nothing's gonna happen if you don't act 00:18:42.970 --> 00:18:45.789 on it. Nothing is going to happen. We're all 00:18:45.789 --> 00:18:49.190 talk You can't be all talk when it comes to you 00:18:49.190 --> 00:18:52.549 in your life You'll get nowhere time passes you 00:18:52.549 --> 00:18:55.369 the fuck by time is literally a consistent loop 00:18:55.369 --> 00:18:57.430 You can't just keep saying which my issue is 00:18:57.430 --> 00:18:59.990 I'll do tomorrow. I'll do tomorrow tomorrow's 00:18:59.990 --> 00:19:03.470 the same day today is Need to get the fuck up 00:19:03.640 --> 00:19:07.759 And do it. Make something worthwhile. Make my 00:19:07.759 --> 00:19:11.519 life worthwhile. Allow myself to get the rewards 00:19:11.519 --> 00:19:14.559 I want to get. Hey, I want this crazy ass thing 00:19:14.559 --> 00:19:17.720 in the future. How can I get it? How can I do 00:19:17.720 --> 00:19:21.119 it? You know? So really, that was just my message 00:19:21.119 --> 00:19:23.380 today. Believe in yourself. Be rooted in yourself. 00:19:23.559 --> 00:19:25.700 Find out who you are. Find out what you like. 00:19:25.980 --> 00:19:28.140 How you want to talk. And don't let anybody fuck 00:19:28.140 --> 00:19:30.740 that up for you. Like I said, even if it is. 00:19:31.929 --> 00:19:37.690 Not socially accepted If it's you it's you you 00:19:37.690 --> 00:19:39.910 might be loud you might be quiet And you know 00:19:39.910 --> 00:19:41.670 that's something I always still try to fit into 00:19:41.670 --> 00:19:43.849 I always want to be quiet and mysterious. I'm 00:19:43.849 --> 00:19:48.109 not I Talk a fucking lot, and I talk very loud 00:19:48.109 --> 00:19:50.970 Okay, I'm not fucking mysterious all I do is 00:19:50.970 --> 00:19:52.450 over share, and I want to be friends with people 00:19:52.450 --> 00:19:55.829 right away I'm not and I accept that now. You 00:19:55.829 --> 00:19:58.960 know I might try to give up the aesthetic Not 00:19:58.960 --> 00:20:01.420 the personality of the world. I cannot suppress 00:20:01.420 --> 00:20:04.460 myself anymore, right? So think about those little 00:20:04.460 --> 00:20:06.859 things too. What are those little habits you 00:20:06.859 --> 00:20:09.440 try to tweak to try to be like a certain type 00:20:09.440 --> 00:20:13.539 of person or actual person, you know? Watch that. 00:20:14.039 --> 00:20:16.099 Watch it. Because you're teaching yourself that 00:20:16.099 --> 00:20:18.660 you're not worth it. That you aren't like who 00:20:18.660 --> 00:20:21.180 you truly are is not worth it. Who you truly 00:20:21.180 --> 00:20:24.890 are is not all it's meant to be. Bitch, be you 00:20:24.890 --> 00:20:27.490 in the flesh. People might hate it, but I guarantee 00:20:27.490 --> 00:20:29.549 you there's one person out there who doesn't. 00:20:29.750 --> 00:20:31.329 You might have that one crazy best friend who 00:20:31.329 --> 00:20:32.769 really goes with all your antics. Yeah, everybody 00:20:32.769 --> 00:20:35.230 else thinks you're a bitch. Everybody else thinks 00:20:35.230 --> 00:20:38.029 you're a crybaby. Everybody else thinks you're 00:20:38.029 --> 00:20:40.250 too quiet, too lame, too loud, too proud, too 00:20:40.250 --> 00:20:44.230 popular, too whatever the fuck. Okay. I like 00:20:44.230 --> 00:20:48.170 myself, so what about it? Right? Yeah, that was 00:20:48.170 --> 00:20:51.230 today's episode. If you enjoyed... Well, I hope 00:20:51.230 --> 00:20:53.450 you didn't. I know you didn't. I know you enjoyed. 00:20:54.349 --> 00:20:58.369 If all I did, I overshare on Instagram, on TikTok. 00:20:59.589 --> 00:21:01.869 These videos will also be on YouTube, episodes 00:21:01.869 --> 00:21:03.650 will be on YouTube, every single platform you 00:21:03.650 --> 00:21:06.670 listen to. Leave me a rating and a review, please. 00:21:06.750 --> 00:21:10.190 I'm begging. I love reading them, right? If you 00:21:10.190 --> 00:21:12.269 also listen to my podcast, tag me on Instagram. 00:21:12.730 --> 00:21:14.829 My Instagram, I be trying to talk to y 'all and 00:21:14.829 --> 00:21:16.230 don't know what I be talking. Like I be having 00:21:16.230 --> 00:21:19.930 like 200 viewers on my stories. Don't know what 00:21:19.930 --> 00:21:22.789 he be answering y 'all quit being shy quit being 00:21:22.789 --> 00:21:26.430 shy, please Anyway, I love you so much also follow 00:21:26.430 --> 00:21:29.470 my main account I post all the damn time my content 00:21:29.470 --> 00:21:31.230 and whatever the hell I'm doing and have a really 00:21:31.230 --> 00:21:33.009 big call coming soon because I bought a lot of 00:21:33.009 --> 00:21:35.190 bullshit last night now bullshit cuz I'm investing 00:21:35.190 --> 00:21:38.670 in myself, but yeah I love you guys so much, 00:21:38.670 --> 00:21:43.630 and I hope you have a wonderful Day week life 00:21:43.630 --> 00:21:44.970 period all of it