Guys is this thing on? It is your host Zoe and
I am back with another freaking episode on the
did I over share podcast today How are you guys
doing? Hope you are doing well. I'm doing well.
Um You know, I hope September was full of blessings
for you guys and you are excited for the fall
because apparently it's officially fall like
when we said fall was months ago and It was not
months ago. It officially just started. But yeah,
I hope that's going well for you guys. And yeah,
I don't really have any business to get into,
honestly, other than I've just been working filming
content every single day and finding new ways
to make content that you guys enjoy, whether
it be from my personal page, my podcast, herbs,
you know. 20 million different things. I did
also open an Etsy where I give readings There's
a sale going on right now if you want to catch
that I'll put it in the description down below.
So just check that out. And yeah today's episode
really I really I had a couple instances these
past two weeks Which really brought me to this
topic and a topic being do we know ourself? Like
what is our self identity? Who do we see ourselves
as? Are we comfortable enough to stand ten toes
on why we do what we do and why we act the way
we act, why we talk the way we talk? You know,
that whole thing, right? Because, and I'm gonna
let you know what really drew me to wanna talk
about this first. The first thing was we know
that nobody... Don't really tell nobody my business
in my like personal life, right? So when I do
have these family members who are on the phone
with other family members talked about oh is
she gonna cuz um My fiance's family was up here
visiting and I was you know talking to them and
stuff like that and you know my family on top
of that so it's just like when people are I'm
like this is not trying to come off in a bad
way, but when people are in my business out of
what I'm about to do with my life How can I do
this? What am I doing to get together kind of
in a judgy way, right? When they when they're
not on my path It kind of gets me to thinking
about myself and getting more confidence in myself.
I feel like back then when I was approached with
these topics or these situations where it was
like, so what is she doing? What is she about
to do? Like does she even, you know, is it figured
out? Is she just being reckless? I didn't know
how to handle it. Honestly, I was like, damn,
am I being reckless? Like I couldn't trust my
own gut. Like I never knew where I was. And now
when I was like tackled with that question and
I overheard it, I was like, yeah. I do know who
I am. I do know what I want to be doing, and
I feel good as hell doing it. Like, this is the
happiest I've ever been. I'm expressing myself
in every single way I can. So yeah, I am doing
good, and I do know what I'm doing, and it will
work out for me. And I'm not going to explain
that to anybody, but it's something I feel like
it was a confirmation of myself. Which really
grounded me and brought me back together that
hey I really am confident with who I am now and
then another one Which this is no hate to the
person who left it at all Honestly, we we all
have our own opinions and I love her for commenting
that but under my last episode She had commented
more so like she was just like prayers prayers
You know that and of course that like thank you.
Thank you, and then it was like but just a tidbit
You're cussing, you cuss too much. It's a turn
off. It's disgusting. Blah, blah, blah, blah.
Whole bunch of other things, which first of all,
in my head immediately I'm like, I'm not trying
to turn you on. I'm just being me, right? And
it's also like, it made me just think like, hey,
this really is me. There's so many, like so many
of you guys who listen to me and love me for
just who I am, what I talk about, and what I
do. And... Not everybody's gonna love me, not
everybody's gonna love how I talk or, you know,
handle myself, which is perfectly fine, which
I'm just like, okay. And then another thing,
when I had released my tarot and stuff like that,
this girl had slid up and she was just like,
hey, you know you're doing witchcraft, which
I'm just like, first of all, I don't even practice
that, I practice something else. And then on
top of that, like, even if I am like... what's
the meaning and then so i'm like okay i'm just
not gonna respond and then i was like i'm gonna
decide to remove you simply just because i'm
real big on energy and i feel like if you don't
like what i'm doing i don't really want you watching
my stuff just because i don't want those bad
vibes right no hate no harm no nothing like i
don't thank you like i went like i thank you
so i just removed her and then she texted me
on messenger i didn't even know who like this
girl was she texted me on messenger a whole bible
verse um deuteronomy i think What it was like
no necromancers, and you know witchcraft and
all this stuff, and I was just like first off
To say I read the Bible all the damn time It's
actually used in my practice if we really wanted
to know but then on top of that like So what
like if I don't believe in what you want to believe
in that's okay But it also brought me to myself
where I'm like hey. This is me This is what I
do. This is what I practice, and if you don't
that's okay. I'm not pushing it on you I'm not.
You don't have to believe. You can think I'm
talking fucking crazy. And that's okay. That's
okay. Sometimes I might be. Sometimes I might
be. But I think my point to all of this is saying,
do you know yourself? Because I had to start
asking myself that question because I do know
myself now. And it is one of the most comforting
feelings ever. Right? I feel so put together
and headstrong and faithful. within myself which
is like where I can make these moves and honestly
and I think what really did it for me which really
made me trust my gut is leaving my job truly
because For months on end. I would just sit there
being like hey at this that this urge I need
to leave I need to leave I need to go for my
podcast and all these other things I've been
doing I need to leave I need to leave the money
will be figured out I just need I can't do this
and I was always just led with fear where I didn't
want to do this I didn't want to make that step
because I'm just like What if it doesn't work
out for me? How can it not work out for me if
I'm working my ass out for me, right? Like, if
you keep working, I don't think, like, you could
fail. Like, we might have some bumps in the road,
but you cannot fail ultimately. And I, when I
quit, I had that belief in myself. I finally
mustered up the courage to say, hey, get it.
I'm ready for this new chapter of my life. I
know how good it can get for me. let me do it
and I know this will make me the happiest and
ever since I did that I think I've in a way come
home to myself like I now have time to do all
the things I want to do like I I pour into myself
in so many different aspects now I'm back into
writing I'm back in a reading I do my makeup
all the time I'm making videos about doing my
makeup I'm ordering fun shit that I never even
I feel like I have Like I might have less money
now, but I feel like I had less money with the
job It's making sense like I don't know and it's
maybe because I didn't prioritize my needs right
and that's what I'm asking Who are you? Who are
you because if you allow yourself to have the
time to sit there which? Granted I know is not
relatively available for everybody, but anyway
you see fit I feel like you should make that
jump that jump you're so scared to make to connect
with your true self I Shave my legs on two weeks
now. I did not do that honestly after coming
home from work. I didn't want to do anything
I didn't want to do anything. I just lay down
and went to bed and just scrolled on tik -tok
That's all I did and now I get to create pour
into my passions and pour into myself every single
day, and I think That's why this that's why I
want to talk about this why I feel like this
message is so big because it's just like So many
of us are stuck in this cycle where we don't
know ourselves, right? And that goes into all
the other fucking episodes I've done. We don't
know ourselves, so it causes this issue, this
issue, this issue, lack of boundaries, and so
many different other things because we don't
know ourselves. We don't have the time to cater
for ourselves, which yeah, we can blame it on
the world. We can blame it on every single external
factor. Going on we can do that right but for
so long I had to I made myself the victim my
entire life like I literally Hey, I don't have
enough money for this blah blah blah. I Make
myself it and go get some more money bitch. Like
what the fuck are you doing? And now I don't
talk to myself like that, right? I don't view
life coming at me like life is not attacking
me I always viewed it that life was attacking
me and I could never win or this bad thing was
always happening now I don't view it like that
I wake up on cloud nine even even if life is
going shitty right even if I don't know how I'm
gonna pay rent even if I don't know how I'm gonna
do this even if I'm still talking to the food
stamps guy and doing yada yada yada I still wake
up like hey this will work out for me God has
me I have me I have me. At the end of the day,
you need to have that statement in your head
that I have me. You trust yourself enough to
not fuck this all up. Right? And I feel like
most of us don't have that trust in ourselves.
You cannot even make a decision without going
to someone else. Hey, should I do this? I don't
know, should you? Ask yourself, should you? Because
deep down, how do you feel? When you think about
this thing, do you feel good? Do you feel bad?
Are you scared? Because you need to figure out
if it's your gut or anxiety for me I am anxiety
ridden all the damn time and it's something now
that I'm like trying to train my mind to fix
It's kind of so funny thinking about it in the
process, right? I Think my cat's at the door.
Oh No, she's not but anyway something I try to
think about in the process, right? So Like I
said, positive mindset, speaking life into myself.
So I don't say I'm broke. I say, hey, I'm trying
to figure out how to get more money for this.
I, I found my dream house, right? Let me tell
you this. I found my dream house. Me and Mechi
always drive around looking at houses, right?
We want to start a family. We want to do this.
We're kind of looking at where we want to be.
We have two different designs. I'm going to win.
And at the end of the day, I found my fucking
dream house. And you want to know what I have
done? And this might sound crazy, but it's not
to me because looking at the science part of
it this is a whole little separate tangent but
looking at the science part of it for manifesting
it is not created until you actually see it like
the atoms start fucking forming once you start
seeing something so it's like you start seeing
it every day and saying oh i want this i want
this i want this the more you see it the more
it happens like you know like you ever get a
new car right and now you see that car everywhere
Right? It has to fucking exist, right? So me
knowing this, I took a picture of this house.
Like I said, it might be crazy, bear with me.
I wrote down the address and I put it in my notes.
And you know what I do? Every Thursday, because
it's your birthday, lucky day, or Monday, I drive
to this neighborhood. I walk around this neighborhood.
I picture myself being here. You wanna know what?
Because I won't fail. This house... Okay, sorry
about that. But like I said, I... Walk around
this house. I picture myself in this neighborhood
all the time. You want to know why? I'll get
there. It doesn't matter if this house is five
point five million dollars. It doesn't matter
if this house is five point five million dollars.
I'm gonna get it. Who says five million is a
lot of money. That's not a lot of money. I'm
gonna get it. You don't know why? Because I trust
myself. I trust myself that hey, it might take
a couple years. It might even take a couple months.
Who knows where I'll be? Who knows? But I trust
that no matter what, I will get there. I put
my all into myself. Now. I can never say I did
that before. Ever. I respect myself so much now.
You know, let me get back to actually what I
was talking about because clearly we're not on
the same page. But um, no, what I was saying,
it is funny seeing it in the moment trying to
retrain your brain. Right? So I'll catch myself
saying, oh, I'm broke. No I'm not. Now I say,
bitch no you're not, like I literally, this is
gonna sound so weird, but when I think a shit
I don't wanna think or people I don't wanna think
negative things, I imagine, I imagine myself
taking a shit on them. Like in my head if I see
a woman or like somebody or like a situation
or a thought that I don't like, I physically
in my brain imagine myself dropping a shit on
them. Yep. fuck you literally I literally will
make the out loud because what the fuck I'm not
thinking like that I'm not I don't accept myself
to think like that so and it's like I'll have
and this might sound crazy you know I talk to
myself in my head I think we all do I've heard
some people don't but like for me like I said
when I'll say I'm broke and I am verbally I can
say oh no I'm not I'm just trying to work find
the money right I'm just trying to find the money
because don't ever call yourself fucking broke
Even if you are. Just say, hey, I'm trying to
find the money right now. Right? I'll literally
say, oh, I'm broke. And then in my head, well,
my head will say I'm broke. Right? And then in
my head, I'll be having a whole fucking argument.
I'll be like, bitch, don't say that. Don't ever
speak to you about yourself like that. You are
wealthy. You are attractive. Blah, blah, blah,
blah. So many fucking different things. And my
head will literally respond, OK. I'm literally
retraining my brain how to think. You don't know
why? Because I'm trying to invest in myself.
I'm trying to invest on my subconscious mind,
because your subconscious mind doesn't know real
life and not real life, right? Every thought
we have, it thinks it's true. So you wanna think
positive things, right? But also, when you have
people come forward about stuff, you wanna be
so rooted in yourself, you have the answer. Hey,
Zoe, why do you do this? Hm, why do I do this?
I do it because of this. Don't, I like, I used
to fold in on myself a lot, like... of anxiety,
embarrassment, so many different things. Like
I was just scared of life, scared of conversation,
like scared of fucking anything. Like I hated
being questioned and I hated having an ounce
of criticism. Not criticism, but like more so,
because I can't say judgment either. Like I said,
I really, I just have to say questioning. Like
I hate when someone... is going opposite of what
I want to do, right? I'm not talking about general
situations. I'm talking about, like, if I say,
hey, I'm about to start this business, right?
Which is also another reason I don't tell people
much anymore. Because when I would say, oh, I
want to start this business, I would be hit with,
oh, but how are you even going to do that? Or,
you know, so many different negative things which
I never had an answer to. I could never fully
back myself. I was like, well, damn, how am I
going to do that? You know, how is this going
to work for me? What if nobody does this? What
if nobody buys this? No. Now I don't think like
that. I prepare myself in ways where, hey, if
I am hit with this uncomfortable question, I
have an answer. You know what? And a lot of my
answers recently have been, I'm vibing. It'll
work out. It'll work out. It'll work out. It'll
work out. I trust myself. And guess what? It
has done. Worked. out okay you really just gotta
give yourself a little bit of faith a little
bit of faith goes a long way and trust yourself
for the sake of fucking god please trust yourself
i caught myself doing this all the time anytime
i had a thought a damn decision i'd run it by
everybody me texting jordan hey how does this
sound hey should i do this how should i reply
back to this email how should i do this me to
meet you how should i do this do you think this
is cute do you think i this mind you it's my
whole creative process if i think it's cute it's
cute And I still catch myself doing that sometimes,
like when I just, I uploaded a makeup video on
my personal TikTok before I filmed this, right?
And to myself, I was like, what if this isn't
aesthetic enough? Like, will people not watch
it? But why am I thinking like that? This is
for my pleasure. I made this video because I
felt good, because I wanted to. Why does it matter
what anyone else thinks? I'm so rooted in myself.
I know I'm T, bitch. I know the video's good.
Like, I know it's gonna get watched. Even if
it gets watched by two viewers. Even if it gets
watched by me. It got watched. Did it not? Did
it not? Moral of the point. Moral of the story?
Moral of the point? Who the fuck knows? Anyway,
moral of the story. You need to invest in yourself.
Spending money on yourself? Never a waste. Spending
time on yourself? Never a waste. You need to
invest so deeply in yourself. You can answer
those uncomfortable questions. You can be in
uncomfortable situations. You can be hit with
judgment and criticism and so many different
fucking things and still be like, hey, well,
this is what the fuck I want to do, so I'm gonna
do it. Even if it's something like socially unacceptable,
right? Like, you know how people talk about strippers,
right? But let's say you're like, oh, I want
a strip. And I'm good as fuck at pole dance and
I wanna do this, blah blah blah. But you have
everybody around you saying, nah nah nah, so
many fucking different things. What are you gonna
do? You gonna listen to what the fuck you wanna
do and take your talent where the fuck you wanna
take it? Anyway, are you gonna do that? Or are
you gonna listen to all this thing and then stop
yourself from expressing yourself? Moving your
body how you want to because you're good at it,
you know, it's so many different talents like
that Oh people want to make art but it's like
nuanced art and nobody wants it's not modern
art It's not this that the other or it is simple
and it is plain Somebody will like it and even
if nobody does you like it You need to have that
mindset that even if nobody likes my stuff I
like it even if nobody trusts what I'm doing
I trust what I'm doing. Even if everybody around
me is questioning my life path, I might not know
where I'm going, but I trust it. I'll figure
it out. We'll skip along the fucking way, okay?
You need to trust yourself. It will be your best
investment, your hardest and biggest investment,
but your best investment. Always. You cannot
depend on other people to invest in you. Now,
if somebody loves you, they're gonna invest in
you, right? Right? And that can only be a benefit.
But you cannot rely on people to do that because
you need to be able to do it yourself fully and
stand up there loud and proud and be like, hey,
this is what the fuck I'm doing. This is why
I'm doing it. And this is that period. This period.
And guess what? You will get your rewards. You
will get your rewards. Blessings will come your
way. You will be so fruitful in so many different
ways you never even thought were possible. The
second you believe in yourself is the second
everything takes off. Right because you can know
it you can have all these thoughts in your head,
but if you don't act on it What's gonna happen?
Nothing Nothing's gonna happen if you don't act
on it. Nothing is going to happen. We're all
talk You can't be all talk when it comes to you
in your life You'll get nowhere time passes you
the fuck by time is literally a consistent loop
You can't just keep saying which my issue is
I'll do tomorrow. I'll do tomorrow tomorrow's
the same day today is Need to get the fuck up
And do it. Make something worthwhile. Make my
life worthwhile. Allow myself to get the rewards
I want to get. Hey, I want this crazy ass thing
in the future. How can I get it? How can I do
it? You know? So really, that was just my message
today. Believe in yourself. Be rooted in yourself.
Find out who you are. Find out what you like.
How you want to talk. And don't let anybody fuck
that up for you. Like I said, even if it is.
Not socially accepted If it's you it's you you
might be loud you might be quiet And you know
that's something I always still try to fit into
I always want to be quiet and mysterious. I'm
not I Talk a fucking lot, and I talk very loud
Okay, I'm not fucking mysterious all I do is
over share, and I want to be friends with people
right away I'm not and I accept that now. You
know I might try to give up the aesthetic Not
the personality of the world. I cannot suppress
myself anymore, right? So think about those little
things too. What are those little habits you
try to tweak to try to be like a certain type
of person or actual person, you know? Watch that.
Watch it. Because you're teaching yourself that
you're not worth it. That you aren't like who
you truly are is not worth it. Who you truly
are is not all it's meant to be. Bitch, be you
in the flesh. People might hate it, but I guarantee
you there's one person out there who doesn't.
You might have that one crazy best friend who
really goes with all your antics. Yeah, everybody
else thinks you're a bitch. Everybody else thinks
you're a crybaby. Everybody else thinks you're
too quiet, too lame, too loud, too proud, too
popular, too whatever the fuck. Okay. I like
myself, so what about it? Right? Yeah, that was
today's episode. If you enjoyed... Well, I hope
you didn't. I know you didn't. I know you enjoyed.
If all I did, I overshare on Instagram, on TikTok.
These videos will also be on YouTube, episodes
will be on YouTube, every single platform you
listen to. Leave me a rating and a review, please.
I'm begging. I love reading them, right? If you
also listen to my podcast, tag me on Instagram.
My Instagram, I be trying to talk to y 'all and
don't know what I be talking. Like I be having
like 200 viewers on my stories. Don't know what
he be answering y 'all quit being shy quit being
shy, please Anyway, I love you so much also follow
my main account I post all the damn time my content
and whatever the hell I'm doing and have a really
big call coming soon because I bought a lot of
bullshit last night now bullshit cuz I'm investing
in myself, but yeah I love you guys so much,
and I hope you have a wonderful Day week life
period all of it