Guys is this thing on? It is your host Zoe and
I am back with another freaking episode on the
Did I Overshare podcast today? I hope you guys
are having a good week It's pretty late in the
week as I don't know if many of you seen the
announcement on Instagram Maybe not because I
know not all you guys follow me on there But
I did announce that yes, there was supposed to
be an episode on Sunday But I literally have
been ill ill as hell I literally I did go to
the doctors for it and did get some medicine
But ill every damn day, okay, and I'm sorry about
that, but I'm still here still posting for you
guys I Have been trying to not be ill I have
been trying But yeah, I just wanted to let you
guys know about that Then what else I don't think
I really have anything much more to go to the
house has also been packed I'll meet you family
came up when I tell you there's about 20 people
in this damn apartment It was it was in here,
okay? I'm a granny stand with us, so that's good
And I put up on my Halloween stuff. I did today
actually cuz I was ready and yeah Today's episode
is something I did end up posting on TikTok previously
on Sunday because I was supposed to upload and
that was supposed to be it. But since I didn't
upload, I ended up posting it anyway. It basically
is the most important things I've learned while
navigating my 20s with the help of this podcast,
of course. Granted, I'm only 20. But there's
so much I have learned within the past year or
two that have been so monumental and transformative
for me. And before I get into this, I just want
to say Thank you guys for all your support, first
of all. And if you end up liking this episode
and this podcast overall, leave a comment, a
review, tag me on Instagram, do whatever you
want to do, let me know. I love talking to you
guys, hearing what you guys think about episodes
and so much more. But yeah, I'm just kind of
going to talk about a couple different topics
that I feel like I have learned and that have
changed, more so changed for me heavily these
past, like this past year. and the first thing
I want to talk about is money because for me
money is very hmm it always seemed like it was
out of reach dare I say like it always seemed
like okay it's impossible to have my whole life
I feel like this I was just kind of raised on
that and I'm at the point where it's like I know
I can do whatever I want with my life truly I
do and I'm very grateful for that but I really
have stopped stressing oh and I also wanted to
say I'm sorry before I got in I quit my job I'm
making this my job no matter what. I don't care
if nothing happens from it right now, but this
is my job. This is what I'm putting my heart
and my soul into. And that job was cheating me
like shit as well, but also I did not feel like
I was aligned to be there. I was supposed to
be there. You know, it gave its time. Time ran
up, okay? So maybe I might do an episode on that
as well, but I just wanted to let you guys know.
I'm all you. You guys okay, but yeah, no money.
I've stopped stressing and holding back on my
happiness Because I don't have a savings account
Um I don't have the most money in the world especially
I see it's I feel like it's so hard Nowadays
watching other people at my age have like a mention
and it's at the other and I'm just like But that's
literally just social media because nobody else
really is doing that most people are out here
normal, right? But it's like then I just see
some people and I'm just like damn Damn should
I have it like they should I be doing like should
I have to my life look like this? And I've stopped
thinking that way like I really don't stress
about it anymore honestly Because I don't have
a savings account and that's simply because how
am I supposed to have a savings account when
there's no money to save? Like and I've never
been one like I'm not denying my own happiness
truly like if I want a five dollar shake I'm
gonna get it simply because if I'm working my
ass off in every other aspect I deserve a little
treat sometimes too, and I will always say that
Like I accept my government existence when I
can like I get food stamps. I'm on Medicaid I
and I appreciate every single bit of it and it
worked like it works wonders like Sometimes when
I can't put food in the fridge I'm able to put
food in the fridge like in my Medicaid I'm being
offered so much shit right now and it's so grateful
I've never had insurance that works so damn good
in my life like I'm just so there's things when
it comes to money that I've stopped Maybe having
like a bad view on it or a negative view and
I've started being open and accepting and accepting
my position in Life and accepting my growth where
I can you know I'm just being able to manage
it better should be enough. You know I don't
need to have five thousand dollars in my savings
account Realistically a lot of us know okay,
but I started accepting where I was and you know
counting my blessings rather than focusing on
what I don't have like I said and We all know
in this economy. I will treat myself. I'm responsible
as hell like I'm the most responsible person
I know right But I also acknowledge that I live
a normal life. I live a balanced Everyday life
where not everything's easy But also things could
always be worse, so I'm going to count my blessings
where I can You know and just be grateful for
what I have and what? You know I can do with
what I do have Because I feel like money used
to take up so much my brain space like I didn't
feel like I could be anywhere without it Just
my car just about 20 other things when that that
shouldn't be the case You know like at all actually
so I'm vibing right now. I'm gonna be honest
where I'm at I'm comfortable, and you know what
who knows where it's gonna go in two months I
got enough money right now To give me where I
need to be rent bills and shit and i'm focusing
on my podcast i'm choosing my goals i'm choosing
what i want to do and i'm blessed first of all
that i'm able to do that right but i feel like
it's to the point where i i'm choosing to be
happy while trying to also build myself as a
character business -wise everything oh also we
are now llc we are now a certified business okay
look at us this happened earlier this week so
Yes, kudos to us. But yeah, no. So yeah, overall,
I think when it comes to money, I'm just not
gonna stress about what's not in my control anymore.
And I'm gonna be more accepting of what I do
have, right? And then the next thing, and we
know I love talking about this topic, boundaries.
I would say this is one of the most important
things I've learned in every single relationship
I have, and including the one with myself. I
feel like if you lack a definition on what your
boundaries are or what you want, so many things
can go wrong. Things can go left, things can
go right. Like everything gets wonky because
you can't expect other people to respect what
you want to happen if you don't know what you
want to happen. And I think I've been seeing
this a lot more recently, especially in my relationship
with Demetrius. I've been very communicative,
and what I want, what I see for us in the future,
and what I need from him fully, hey, in order
for me to, you know, operate how I need to, in
order for me to feel secure, in order for me
to do this, yada yada yada, I need this from
you. How can you show up for me like this? And
sometimes it does get into deep arguments, uncomfortable
ones, we don't want to have, but they're conversations
we need to have. Because at the end of the day,
these are my boundaries, this is what I need.
to feel secure in this relationship, and he has
some of those too. You know, you gotta learn
how to work together, but that's also in friendships
and also with myself. How do I tell myself what
I'm comfortable with? How do I let myself stop
saying yes to things I don't wanna do? How do
I allow myself to be present all the time and
tell myself, hey, maybe we shouldn't be doing
this. Hey, I want better for myself, you know?
And I feel like with yourself, it really ties
in discipline and boundaries, but you know, kinda
two in the same. But I... Boundaries is the most
important thing literally with every single relationship
you plan to have in your life with your boss
your best friend your fucking dog Everybody okay,
so I think that is one of that like a really
big thing I learned be loud and be firm on what
you want and how you want to be respected and
at the end of the day Those who loved you and
care for you they will they will do that You
know, it won't be this huge fuss and debacle
about, oh my gosh, you're doing it, you're doing
it, you're doing it, you're doing it, you're
not asking for too much. I'm not asking for too
much, I'm asking the wrong person. And sometimes,
I think that's one thing to remember though when
you are talking boundaries, like I say, not everybody
was raised the same, right? For all different
people sometimes we have to meet each other where
we can comfortably and you know meet people in
the middle and Understand okay, how can we compromise?
How can I give you what you need while you also
give me what I need and I also? Like still feel
comfortable within myself, right? Because not
everybody is you know open and doing things and
you know all the stuff like that, but it's like
Some things are required for certain people we
have certain standards and I think having standards
especially even high ones are really important
especially in today's society because it allows
you I Feel so confident I'm gonna be honest and
that's why I was so confident with being able
to leave my job Why I'm so confident on where
I'm at in my life now because I have these Conversations
with myself I set these boundaries with the relationships
around me I know what I want and I'm setting
my mind to it and I'm chasing after it Hey, how
can I get this done the best of me and how can
I keep myself straight? Within myself my relationship
my friendships in the midst of it all, you know,
and I feel like I've gotten so good at my words
and my understanding on stuff that I'm comfortable
where I'm at. I'm comfortable in the shoes. I'm
in right now and And I feel like that's a blessing.
And I feel like that is one really important
lesson. My next one, family. Sensitive topic
for most, okay, right. But for me, family is
not everything. The family you make is everything.
And when I say this, we know I don't communicate
with my family. Over this past year, and it continues
on and on and on, I have watched everybody wither
away. from drugs and I I physically couldn't
do it which is first of all why I left in the
first place and Family has been a hard topic
for me my whole life because I've never had You
know what one would want. I never had a safe
place I never had where I could go and be heard
or you know just feel safe in and do all this
and that the other so I think getting away did
so much magic for me, but it also allowed me
to find my own community find my own people and
make my own family and that I Feel like is more
important because like I said not everybody comes
from the same situation like me she he had like
I just said he had 20 people up here and that
was just the close relatives all the damn kids
grannies everybody was fucking in here and That's
another thing I'm so blessed to have but like
me and him come from two different backgrounds
So I still react to situations and his family
completely different like when they were here.
I was overstimulated, but it's something I Have
been trying to get used to for the past seven
years. Okay, cuz I didn't socialize So I'm just
gonna like But it's something I'm so grateful
because I have made my own I've made my own with
him with his family my best friend her kid and
myself in my own family and It's it's really
an important thing I think I like to talk about
because I I've had so many conversations with
people especially older people where they'll
judge me and they're like Oh where you're gonna
miss it one day when this Heather that happens
or you're just gonna feel bad yada yada yada
actually no, I'm not I'm not because these people
never felt bad for me. I chose me I chose my
happiness and that's what it's gonna be you want
to be around people who pour into you and love
you unconditionally and support you no matter
what Sometimes like I said what you're born into
your you Leave and grow and sometimes a lot of
times most people do make it back, right? sometimes
we all just need to figure it the fuck out but
sometimes we don't and and that's okay, I'm able
to pour my love into different cups and do that
and in my experience, I feel like it was the
most powerful life -changing one for me because
It is so much of my life and so much of my future
in my past So I think that's why that was an
important topic. And then next one is religion.
So while we probably know if you're a constant
listener, I allow myself to explore religions
and, you know, learning constantly stay updated.
I also recommend others do as well because ignorance
is not cute. I'm sorry. It's not. You don't follow
everything, but I feel like basic knowledge,
basic things we should know. Right. Maybe out
of disrespect, but also just to educate yourself
because education is so much but there's never
any harm in learning so but i've concluded that
for me belief is extremely powerful for me i
more so focused on god and my ancestors i am
real heavy in both and i i believe Like they
literally move mountains for me when I'm speaking
to God and my ancestors in these lights I believe
they move bounds for me and I see that I see
blessings happen in tenfold I see lessons are
teaching me and it's something I'm just so grateful
to have I'm grateful to come from a culture where
I can Like be passionate about them and you know
commute like do all this stuff and work for them
and you know Honor them and also still be close
to God and you know honor him as well and do
that because I don't connect myself to you know
christianity or anything like that i don't believe
in any of those because in my opinion my opinion
i just believe so many things are like hateful
or corrupt and a lot of stuff gets twisted so
for me i choose my way i choose to honor a man
i have had like connections with and i have feel
like have changed my life and i and the people
who i feel like change my life every single day
and that's how i move that's what i feel close
to and Do believe you're supposed to question
it like I? I think I didn't grow up religious
my mom was agnostic and I think my dad was an
atheist like nobody It was never forced on me.
I was always able to figure out what I want now
my dad's side of the family I did hang around
my sister and she was like extremely religious
not anymore, but she was back then so Think that
was when I first got introduced to you know the
church and stuff, and I never really like church
I still don't like church. I'm gonna be honest.
I'm just bored My attendance fan is zero for
a church, but I did go to Catholic high school
So I've had a lot of experiences and you know
put my toes in different things and been able
to learn I've been able to question. Okay. Why
does it like why does this move like this? Why
does that move like that and I was I was really
blessed my pastor in high school That was a great
man I he he was just such a loving man I feel
like he never made me feel judge even if I talked
about something that was completely fucking opposite
of what he believed in or what's happening and
I'm just like hey this is what it is but he allowed
me to question that because there would be things
I'm questioning hey why does this work like this
why is there so much hate in this area why like
you know why are these things happening so I
do think it is extremely important to question
religion Most people once they question this
religion they go back to it anyway, right? But
I think it's part of the process and growing
up Why it's so important is like it just the
education it allows you to learn what you want
What you value in yourself and say hey, maybe
if I don't value all of this, how can I move?
What can I do with no pressure from others? I
feel like a lot of times there's pressure from
others about things in judgment When I feel like
there never should be because like I said, religion
is beautiful in every like context, whether it's
no religion at all or a really like stripped
one, like so many of them are so beautiful and
so different. I think it's just good to educate
yourself on it, especially while growing, especially
in times like today, we see so much hate amongst
different religions and it's just like, hey,
what's the main purpose here? What's the main
purpose here can we can we find the plot because
I fear we're losing the plot But yeah, I just
think it's key to allow yourself to explore Next
love. Um, we know this is a big one for me. I
am head over heels. Okay But my first word was
love is never a waste. It's extremely tea. It's
not hard to suck. Okay, but and I think this
is why I was like I've been saying this so much
to Michi in our conversation, so we've been having
such deep conversations lately, is that you must
have a strong foundation with your partner. Because
in my head, how can we build 20 different things
off of that if we're not here? If we're not together?
How are we supposed to build friendships outside
of this relationship? Children? Marriage? Homes
so many different things if we're not eye to
eye if we don't know how to cater to each other
correctly if we don't know how to hear each other
without even speaking correctly if we don't know
how to read each other and just do so many different
things that that foundation is what matters and
That's what me and him. I've really been getting
to the nitty -gritty on recently It's hard as
fuck there's been a lot of tears a lot of yells
But also so much love and so much passion after
it cuz it's like damn. I really do understand
you Hey, we really are growing and it's and it's
so fun watching each other turn into adults It's
crazy because then I look back and I'm like damn
I Don't know in my head. I really forgot like
I forgot every year like everything before we
moved here Like that was five years of our relationship
and I dead -ass and I'm much like I was this
man every day and I truly don't remember what
the fuck was happening Like I know but like I
don't know I was really desensitized. Okay but
Like I said love is one of the hardest things
to build and i'm talking i'm not talking platonic
right now okay fucking romantic it is one of
the hardest things to build especially in today's
culture i feel like there's a lot of hookup culture
which is not to shame like okay have fun do that
but i think so many people they can't trust each
other simply because of this like it's like everybody
nobody is focused on where they want to be which
is like okay you want to be single for your life
do that right but i feel like a lot of times
so many people like i'll see people's reposts
and they're chasing love and they want this so
bad But it's like, I can't trust that nigga.
I can't trust that. I can't trust that. I'm not
about to go out here. And you're just like, I'm
gonna, I'd rather just stay away from it as a
whole. I'd rather have my fun and stay away from
it. But it's also, I've also seen so many relationships
where these people don't have these hard conversations.
So in my head, and I hate to say it like that,
but in my head I'm like, do you love them? Cause
there's so many relationships I see, especially
ones like people were friends with and shit.
And I'm just like, they don't love each other.
And I hate to say that because I'm like, okay,
you might do you like you might love each other
service level but it's like it's more out of
convenience in Relationships like relationships
are so far from convenient. It's difficult. And
like I said, I cannot speak on everybody's love.
I can't But I would say me and me too are extremely
healthy, especially for our age. We have never
broken up in our seven years together He is in
therapy. This is my therapy. I know any my therapist
I'm going to is not taking my insurance right
now. Okay, I'm trying but we're both we both
very much our individuals But also a couple like
he is Demetrius. I'm Zoe, but we're also Demetrius
and Zoe You know, and we both know what we want
and worse and not fully not fully I'll be honest.
We're also figuring it out We're both still figuring
out how to communicate. I'm figuring out how
to control my emotions. He's trying to figure
out how to Manage his wording Um, and that's
our thing going on right now, but it's never
easy love has never been easy Um in any definition
any capacity. It's never fucking easy and never
will be But I think that's the beauty in it And
you need to have those uncomfortable conversations.
But like this also can tie into platonic, uncomfortable
conversations with your friends. Love is not
easy. I love you enough to hurt your feelings
and try to better you. I love you enough to let
you know, hey, you need to change, right? But
yeah, just try to search in the right places.
And if these places aren't working out, search
in yourself first, right? Because it really is
true. You cannot love someone else without loving
yourself. You can simultaneously do it. But it
ain't gonna work out if you can't pour in your
own cup too, right? Because you can only have
a cup of water, right? I'm pouring all my water
into this glass. Damn, my cup over here empty.
What you want me to do? What you want me to do?
It doesn't work like that. You can't let it work
like that. And then lastly, just don't tolerate
things you never would just because you love
someone. And the term love makes you stupid is
true. It's true. Love is blinding. Love will
make you ignore a lot of damn red flags in somebody,
okay? And I'm talking family, friends, anybody.
So that's also really important. I want you to
know if you have those moments of clarity and
you're like, I don't like this. You know what?
I think I always want to remind you at the end
of the day, this is your life. You only live
for you. You only have so much time. Choose peace.
Choose happiness today. Okay, there's so many
other people and I know it's gonna hurt like
a bitch and I know It's going to be one of the
hardest things you have to do in your life, but
choose yourself Please that is one of the best
things you can learn in life is to choose yourself
and to live for yourself Because then what yeah,
it's gonna hurt but I can move on I can heal
myself I can be better I can find a new hobby
to pour myself into I can I can find something
I can cater to myself But also know where to
look to find someone who caters me, right? So
that's also extremely important. And boundaries
also go into love. Next is education. The most
important thing ever. The most important thing
ever. And I'm not saying how you get education.
I happen to be in college. I don't think you
need to go to college for education. No. But
I do think you should never stop learning. Always
pick up a book. Always be learning something.
If you have to look into like a new hobby. A
new language. Languages are hard to speak, though.
I can never concentrate on those. Or, like for
me, I'm into herbs. A new herb. Like just, that's
my cat. Be constantly learning and growing. And
like I said, you don't have to take the same
route as everybody else, but lack of education
is truly detrimental. It turns into ignorance.
We can see, right? We can see in the world, okay?
Learn in any capacity you can and never stop
learning in any way. It is so... Beneficial for
you a big brain is a hot brain. Okay, it could
be a small as a new color or a whole new subject
just never stop learning and then lastly jobs
and We just talked about it. I don't believe
you should stay out of job as misery or fear.
I don't and I did for a while, but I don't anymore
I don't because Like I said, I know this is your
life, you know So many people end up dying and
job that couldn't give a shit about them that
job replace you tomorrow In a heartbeat and in
my experience following what makes you happy
will ultimately lead you in the right direction,
right? If you're truly following your goals and
what feels right for you can't go wrong It might
be hard, but you can't go wrong. This is why
I'm following my podcast because this is something
I I have my feet in. I have had it in them for
the past two years. This podcast helps. It makes
me feel good when I talk about it, when I think
about it, when I do it. And it helps me learn
as an individual and learn and teach other people,
which I also love. And it's just something I'm
so passionate about, but also want to bounce
20 different things off of it, like other little
small businesses or books. And so many different
things I just feel like could help myself and
others. So yeah, I don't think you should stay
out of a job, out of misery. If you are suffering
being in a toxic environment, life is way too
short for you to continue it. No matter the pay,
convenience, or anything, you need to choose
you. Please. And you know, since that was my
last thing, I think my overall message is, with
all of these, no matter what, prioritizing yourself...
Key without that. I do believe you will remain
stagnant and where you are you can make so much
progress, but you're really not Because your
brain your brain is still where you were five
years ago You have not developed you have not
grown you have not chose you you're still living
for other people and that is we Most of us fall
victim to living for other people right and I
still see it And it's sometimes I catch it with
them myself, and we really have to stop living
for other people. I'm not I'm not about to stay
at this job because my mom wants me to. I'm not
about to come down here because my dad wants
me to. I'm not about to, what's another example?
I'm not about to go into this education career
because oh my gosh, it's in my family lineage,
but I don't even want to do this. I want to be
a tattoo artist. That's my passion for like 10
years. You know, live for yourself. I don't care
if you're making the smallest amount of money.
If you are happy, that's where you need to be.
And I think a lot of us confuse success money
and you know all of this that that and being
happy that really never equates because you look
at so many people who have all of this and they
still hate their fucking selves you know why
because they didn't chase that goal that would
have made them happy they chose what made them
the most money which was the most convenient
which was the easiest path the easiest path is
never the right path okay it is not and I know
I'm I sound like I'm preaching I sound stupid
But it's not stupid. It's really not. And once
you start prioritizing yourself and really understanding
how detrimental it is for your future and yourself,
and let's say your future kids, your future husband,
that you are a woman who knows herself through
and through, who can choose herself at the end
of the day no matter what, that's when you know
you made it. That's when you know, hey, and let's
say you don't know what you want to do in life,
right? You can still be so grounded in yourself
to admit that and be like, okay. Well today I
want to explore this today I'm gonna explore
that and I'm going to do it no matter what because
this is something that will make me feel good
and this is something I would do and something
I wrote for him I think overall the biggest lesson
in life is choosing you and Prioritizing yourself
and becoming whole Because I mean it's true.
We do die alone A lot of the people we meet and
fall in love with, I don't remember them bitches
I was tripping about five years ago. I don't.
I actually have been removing everybody off Instagram
and Snapchat because I don't like how you treated
me. I don't. I don't. So why do I need to look
at your page every day? Why do I need to watch
you post happy birthday to this motherfucker?
No, I don't. Because I don't like the role you
played in my life didn't benefit me. It hurt
me actually. i don't want to see it. i've had
so many times we put ourselves in these cycles
where we have to keep watching someone who hurt
us. why do we want to stalk that facebook page?
why do we want to look at that tiktok? why do
we want to look at our ex's this that or the
other? i'm not searching for what hurts me. i'm
searching for what makes me feel good. so how
can i do that? how can i live and learn today?
right? all right let me stop fucking yapping
okay guys? um yeah but that was today's episode.
i really hope you enjoyed it. i really did enjoy
this one. being so honest with you i really did
enjoy this one um but yeah we have a rating and
a review if you feel so inclined i really appreciate
it i haven't got one i think in like seven months
i would really appreciate it um and i love when
you guys post me They are listening to me on
like Instagram tick -tock whatever and if you
aren't already follow Did I over share podcast
on Instagram and tick -tock my email if you ever
need email me about anything is die over share
podcast of course and Yeah, I love you beautiful
people. This will also be on YouTube and I will
start recording soon face videos Mm -hmm. I'm
just trying to find a setting that really feels
good looks cute, right? But I'm also like I said,
I'm a normal person so I need to embrace it where
I'm at So I might just be filming in bed But
yeah, I love you guys so much and I hope you
have a beautiful weekend. Love you, bye!