And could I just leave knowing that I did these
things and I tried, even if I failed? Who cares?
The judgment is only myself. Nobody's judging
me, my family, my friends, random people especially.
But for mothers out there, you know, it's hard.
If you don't give yourself a break, you kind
of get trapped in emotion. And I used to bring
my screaming child out. with me in fact both
of them and i would get messages being in the
media like i don't know how you're bringing your
child out i haven't gone out the house for two
years yeah i'm a person who is highly active
and like out there um um i can constantly move
and think and do things i have i've had moments
of panic attacks which i think i'm finding out
more and more people like me have them the people
who do a lot of high impact stuff and who can
just like uh like in term in in times of like
drama and turmoil i just seem to work like i
can figure things out i'm really good in emergencies
but there's a weird side to me because of age
and hormones um i have to let go and realize
i can't do these things i can't be that person
um and and learning to be easy on myself and
understand that my body has changed My hormones
have changed. I can't be that person anymore.
And it's okay. It's okay to be like that. And
really, I think going back to your question,
which was what I'd tell mothers, right? I think
just being honest with yourself. Say you need
the help. Ask people around you. Even as a friend,
I need a break. I need to get out of here. I
think the communication between partners is massive.
A lot of the times I would think, how come he's
not planning this? He's not doing this. I would
have these inner, I would say, feelings of like
jealousy. And I was really honest with my partner
going, I'm sitting here, eight months pregnant,
feeling like a whale. You're achieving all these
things. I'm doing nothing. And not every partner
is going to say this. I know. But he was. for
a person who believes in drink concrete claire
you know suck it up like you'll be fine like
you know a person who didn't understand what
panic attacks until i had them it was a whole
new game for him as well he said some really
kind things to me he said what is wrong with
being just a mother yeah you know i get emotional
thinking about that now because i didn't expect
that from him and he was like why is it not achievement
being a mother just a mother yeah And he's like,
you wanted this so much. It's okay. It's okay
to be nothing else but a mother. It's all right.
And it really took away my feelings of like,
oh no, I'm getting emotional. Like the jealousy
and all these things. And maybe it's a whole
motion of things, but it also because I tagged
my career and everything to who I was before.
And that's ego chasing. With that, it's just,
like I said, be easier on yourself. you have
to let go of certain things. I never see things
as a sacrifice. Don't think you're sacrificing
who you are, what you're doing, your work, your
family and that. I personally don't like to use
the word sacrifice because it's a negative connotation.
It's just a choice. There's a time and place
for everything. You know, I personally don't,
I'm very careful and I've said this before about
doing the things about being inclusive for women.
Like when people go, oh, how are you doing sport?
How are you trying to run a business? How are
you being a mother and being there for all their
things? I do not feel like you can have it all.
You can't. You can't. And it's okay. It's just
you've got to plan when you want to do it at
a certain time. They always say, right, you can
have it all, just not at the same time. And that's
the reality. You can have all the four things
you just mentioned. Absolutely. In your life,
you can have those. Yeah. But you cannot operate
at 100 percent on all of those all of the time.
And to expect that is ridiculous. Right. And
like you said, you know, something when you were
talking about like you don't have to sacrifice,
like sacrifice is not what makes you a mother.
No. I always this is something that I feel very
strongly about. It's like you are a mother. You
are not a martyr. So you giving up yourself in
the name of your children is not something that
you need to strive for. Like you can let that
go. Yeah, I love that. Yeah. Yeah. I love the
the mod of it. Like, yeah, absolutely. Like that
that doesn't make you a better mom or it doesn't
make it. That's not the badge of motherhood.
It's like, look what I gave up. It's like, no,
look what I created. All these two and three.
All these humans, you know, but also my life.
Yeah. to be a home mom and home like home school
no effing way me like i'm very impatient i have
patience but as i'm very impatient yeah you have
to be of a certain personality to be able to
do that and hands down I couldn't do that. You
want to talk about structure, girl? So again,
at least we send our kids to school and school
gives them a structure. Can you imagine you are
the school and you are giving them a structure?
It's so intense. Those homeschooling moms get
like absolute mad props from this side of the
table. Yeah, I can't do it. Incredible. I couldn't.
And also, I just want that distance. Yeah. I
want that distance because the kids learn more.
I think they peg their emotions to us. And so
do we. Yeah. you know because i feel like you
can do better like you know and i totally understand
as a parent now why you do that i have to hold
back now i understand why football matches get
punch -ups and stuff like before i'm like these
hooligans like you know look at this it's terrible
for the first time in my life i knew claire don't
say anything don't get too involved seven -year
-olds playing a friendly game my son is not particularly
like the fastest he's learning and he loves it
he likes the team he's so sure but i'm out there
after 10 minutes i found myself going and you
usually give me like calm down claire like whoa
like that's a bit loud i was like oh i'm that
mom too and i don't want to be i don't want to
be but it's just something comes over me and
i'm like oh my god i am shouting from the sidelines
and i need to be so judgy about soccer moms i'm
one of them of all people it's become me yeah
you know i'm i'm that person and i totally get
it you know like uh but yeah i need that separation
yeah for them for me and i definitely am a better
person for the teaching for my time to go away
and and it's really difficult in the beginning
um the first both kids at three months i would
i disappeared to go and do my work i purposely
took the job because i knew i would get sucked
in to wanting to be with them all the time. And
people ask me about mom guilt. It is always there.
Of course. Never goes away. Yeah, just because
we're not martyrs doesn't mean we don't feel
the guilt. But I have good reminders around me.
Like when Yui goes, look, you're at a job. There's
no point thinking. You're there for five days.
You're there. You have to put your 100 % focus
on being there. I'm like, I know, I know. But
I just, you know, the think and the thought.
And some moms will tell me, don't worry. don't
don't worry about it they're really not going
to miss you and actually the ones who would judge
me more were dads yeah yeah i've got some of
the harshest comments from men yeah as much as
i love men yeah how could you leave right how
could you what kind of a mother are you i've
had random guys said you know two three years
old it passes i don't know why you left and left
them so young i remember random telling me and
we just he asked me you know, about it. And I
was a bit like taken aback. And then, you know,
I was like, it's a bit full on. And I was like,
whoa. And I just didn't feel like the need to
explain myself because I wanted to take that
job. And you know what? And to be honest, I do
have expiry. I have an expiry and it's a truth.
I don't care what you say. I have an expiry in
my industry. I have an expiry because for marketing,
they can't use the same person always for 10
years. You know, they're going to. have recycle
of people in for new hosts for fresher for for
certain brands where that brand is going they
need a refresh yeah i have an expiry date so
i want to do it i want to take this opportunity
because i know it's going to pass and that's
a selfishness yes i'm selfish but that's okay
but i think everyone has to be yeah because if
you if you don't do anything for yourself then
where are you going to be? Everyone's just going
to walk all over you. Yeah. And then the resentment
builds. And then, you know, there's a whole different
path that you can walk. You know, one of the
best tips that piece of advice that I've ever
received that I still think about to this day
is like for working moms and working moms who
are also athletics, doing athletics, be where
your feet are. So when you are training, when
you are on the bike, you are on the bike. That's
where you are. You are not thinking about the
10 ,000 things your kids have to do for their
school project. You are not thinking about work.
When you're presenting, you're presenting. You
are professional Claire. You are doing the things
that you're passionate about. When you're with
your kids, you are their mother. 100%. You're
not looking at a screen. You're not on a phone
call. And I think be where your feet are is the
best piece of advice that has, when I catch myself,
you know, when I catch myself, we need to do
this. Yeah. But it's like, cause it is easy to
kind of like, like even when you, like you said,
you're confident being in those places and having
that part. you can feel it start to bleed, right?
You can feel the kind of like edges. Yeah, yeah.
I get cracks. I get these little holes in the
dam and once they pop, sometimes the dark thoughts
just go whoosh. Yes, yeah. And again, the panic
attacks, right? That's what makes the opportunity
for those emotions to run wild is how difficult
it is to navigate all those identities.