WEBVTT 00:00:07.660 --> 00:00:10.480 From a young age, we're told to be good girls, 00:00:10.640 --> 00:00:15.119 to behave. So girls are very good at what we 00:00:15.119 --> 00:00:18.980 call masking. So kind of like camouflaging, hiding 00:00:18.980 --> 00:00:22.940 some of the hyperactivity. So quite early on, 00:00:23.000 --> 00:00:26.100 girls realize that they can't be agitated and 00:00:26.100 --> 00:00:29.120 running around. And in classroom, teachers recognize 00:00:29.120 --> 00:00:31.879 the girls that sit quietly and do their worksheets 00:00:31.879 --> 00:00:34.780 and are good girls. boys tend to have a little 00:00:34.780 --> 00:00:39.340 bit more leniency when it comes to misbehavior. 00:00:39.500 --> 00:00:43.179 Girls don't. So what we know is that early on 00:00:43.179 --> 00:00:46.859 girls are recognizing that they need to restrain 00:00:46.859 --> 00:00:50.060 their hyperactivity. And so what we find is it 00:00:50.060 --> 00:00:55.259 goes inside. And so girls, and it varies through 00:00:55.259 --> 00:00:57.600 what we're also seeing from the research in ADHD, 00:00:57.840 --> 00:01:00.600 is that as we go through different stages in 00:01:00.600 --> 00:01:04.879 life, it presents slightly differently. So you 00:01:04.879 --> 00:01:08.900 see in girls, we start to have more hyperactive 00:01:08.900 --> 00:01:13.140 thoughts. The agitation is internal, not external. 00:01:13.420 --> 00:01:17.480 So you might not be as fidgety physically, but 00:01:17.480 --> 00:01:20.299 you're more fidgety emotionally. So we see that 00:01:20.299 --> 00:01:22.780 agitation emotionally. So you see the teenage 00:01:22.780 --> 00:01:25.459 girls, you know, getting really, really angry 00:01:25.459 --> 00:01:29.519 and upset, struggling socially because they're 00:01:29.519 --> 00:01:33.239 not quite picking up the cues in the same way 00:01:33.239 --> 00:01:35.359 they're not attending to the same things that 00:01:35.359 --> 00:01:38.439 they need to so that's what you see with adhd 00:01:38.439 --> 00:01:41.939 in girls is that they start to mask from about 00:01:41.939 --> 00:01:46.099 the age of 12 13 14 and they develop ways of 00:01:46.099 --> 00:01:49.700 coping with this internal agitation with some 00:01:49.700 --> 00:01:52.680 of their forgetfulness when some of their difficulty 00:01:52.680 --> 00:01:55.840 regulating their attention and they develop ways 00:01:55.840 --> 00:01:59.540 of coping and so then we fast forward through 00:01:59.540 --> 00:02:02.920 life and you can see some women with adhd sort 00:02:02.920 --> 00:02:06.459 of become perfectionistic have lots of structure 00:02:06.459 --> 00:02:11.840 we sometimes call it the adhd piles of to -do 00:02:11.840 --> 00:02:17.080 lists um and they might create very rigid structure 00:02:17.080 --> 00:02:19.919 that allows them to cope to handle some of what 00:02:19.919 --> 00:02:23.639 we call that executive functioning deficits or 00:02:23.639 --> 00:02:27.840 difficulties But then it gets to a point in life, 00:02:27.960 --> 00:02:31.039 and that's why we're seeing an increase in diagnosis 00:02:31.039 --> 00:02:34.979 around the age of 30 or 40, when the load just 00:02:34.979 --> 00:02:38.939 gets too high. It's when we see that women are, 00:02:38.960 --> 00:02:41.580 you know, getting higher up in their career, 00:02:41.740 --> 00:02:46.460 having children, you know, multiple relationships. 00:02:46.460 --> 00:02:48.419 They may have been through various marriages. 00:02:48.960 --> 00:02:51.680 And life is just getting really, really complicated. 00:02:52.889 --> 00:02:55.710 that's when they seek help. And it's often help 00:02:55.710 --> 00:02:59.009 for anxiety and depression, not for ADHD. That's 00:02:59.009 --> 00:03:02.009 what I'm seeing. So I'm seeing women who present 00:03:02.009 --> 00:03:05.849 with really struggling with perfectionism, burnout, 00:03:06.250 --> 00:03:09.550 just their mood is dropping. And that's often 00:03:09.550 --> 00:03:12.990 because they've had a life of self -criticism. 00:03:13.250 --> 00:03:16.710 What's wrong with me that I'm always late? um 00:03:16.710 --> 00:03:19.050 what's wrong with me that i can't quite figure 00:03:19.050 --> 00:03:21.990 this out and i'm finding myself working so hard 00:03:21.990 --> 00:03:25.129 but never feeling like i'm enough and that criticism 00:03:25.129 --> 00:03:29.930 accumulates and it gets to a point where we start 00:03:29.930 --> 00:03:33.810 to feel depressed and so we see adult women with 00:03:33.810 --> 00:03:36.050 adhd who present more with anxiety and depression 00:03:36.050 --> 00:03:41.389 instead of adhd but when we start to dig in we 00:03:41.389 --> 00:03:43.430 realize that these problems have been there forever 00:03:44.189 --> 00:03:47.090 That as a young girl, they were peddling so fast 00:03:47.090 --> 00:03:51.550 just to keep up. And as an adult woman, they're 00:03:51.550 --> 00:03:54.289 now tired and burning out and have had enough. 00:03:54.509 --> 00:03:57.110 Can I ask a really obvious question? So first 00:03:57.110 --> 00:04:00.169 of all, I want to be clear that ADHD is attention 00:04:00.169 --> 00:04:03.370 deficit hyperactivity disorder. And then I remember 00:04:03.370 --> 00:04:06.330 back in the day, if you will, there was ADD, 00:04:06.370 --> 00:04:10.240 attention deficit disorder. When you're referring 00:04:10.240 --> 00:04:13.620 to ADHD, are you referring to ADD interchangeably 00:04:13.620 --> 00:04:15.860 or is that part of the DSM update that there 00:04:15.860 --> 00:04:18.079 is no more ADD? There is no more. Well, there's 00:04:18.079 --> 00:04:23.339 two types. You can have the attention or hyperactivity 00:04:23.339 --> 00:04:26.420 that there's basically, essentially now we know 00:04:26.420 --> 00:04:29.300 that ADD, there's some people who present more 00:04:29.300 --> 00:04:32.079 with attentional issues and I don't like to call 00:04:32.079 --> 00:04:35.379 it a deficit. We're moving out of that. We're 00:04:35.379 --> 00:04:37.660 now thinking more that it's an attention regulation 00:04:37.660 --> 00:04:40.120 issue. Oh, interesting. I mean, somebody with 00:04:40.120 --> 00:04:44.899 ADHD can hyper -focus incredibly well. So it's 00:04:44.899 --> 00:04:48.199 not an attention problem. It's a problem of regulating 00:04:48.199 --> 00:04:51.279 attention. We're attending to the wrong things. 00:04:51.639 --> 00:04:54.139 We're attending to the thing that matters to 00:04:54.139 --> 00:04:58.660 us most versus not being able to attend. So sort 00:04:58.660 --> 00:05:00.680 of if we look at the diagnostic criteria, you 00:05:00.680 --> 00:05:04.300 know. lack of focus, difficulty organizing, careless 00:05:04.300 --> 00:05:07.800 mistakes. But often that can be attributed to 00:05:07.800 --> 00:05:09.839 the fact that we're attending to certain cues 00:05:09.839 --> 00:05:12.600 and not others, to certain interests and not 00:05:12.600 --> 00:05:16.699 others. So we do have two subtypes, the attention 00:05:16.699 --> 00:05:19.660 subtype and the hyperactivity subtype. And you 00:05:19.660 --> 00:05:22.339 can get, obviously they can have both subtypes 00:05:22.339 --> 00:05:25.279 or just leaning on one or the other. And with 00:05:25.279 --> 00:05:27.199 women, we see that there's more of the attention 00:05:27.199 --> 00:05:31.629 subtype. Only because hyperactivity is seen, 00:05:31.829 --> 00:05:34.589 well, the diagnostic criteria looks at it more 00:05:34.589 --> 00:05:37.990 externally. When you speak to women who have 00:05:37.990 --> 00:05:41.170 ADHD and you say, does your mind feel like a 00:05:41.170 --> 00:05:44.009 popcorn machine? Like thoughts are just popping 00:05:44.009 --> 00:05:47.750 away? They'll go, yeah. And that's the hyperactivity 00:05:47.750 --> 00:05:50.430 gone inside. Like there's the agitation that 00:05:50.430 --> 00:05:53.870 they feel that often then results in emotional. 00:05:55.089 --> 00:05:58.250 and frustration because they can't quite handle 00:05:58.250 --> 00:06:00.810 their thinking. I think now I'm just like starting 00:06:00.810 --> 00:06:04.110 to question myself like, oh shit, am I, am I 00:06:04.110 --> 00:06:06.949 ADHD? Do I have ADHD? Just because my thought 00:06:06.949 --> 00:06:09.129 process is sometimes all over the place. But 00:06:09.129 --> 00:06:13.129 then I wonder, is it ADHD? Is it just because 00:06:13.129 --> 00:06:15.529 there's so much going on? Then you've got your, 00:06:15.589 --> 00:06:18.149 so many things calling for your attention. You 00:06:18.149 --> 00:06:19.509 know, you've got social media, you've got your 00:06:19.509 --> 00:06:22.009 kids, you've got your family, you've got work. 00:06:22.540 --> 00:06:26.959 got the podcast, so much stuff going on. Could 00:06:26.959 --> 00:06:30.420 it just be that we've changed the kind of world 00:06:30.420 --> 00:06:32.660 that we live in has changed. Our bodies just 00:06:32.660 --> 00:06:35.259 haven't, our mind just hasn't caught up to the 00:06:35.259 --> 00:06:37.279 current lifestyle that we're living in. I do 00:06:37.279 --> 00:06:40.040 think that we are all quite overwhelmed. Yeah. 00:06:40.519 --> 00:06:42.779 Now the difference with somebody who presents 00:06:42.779 --> 00:06:46.319 with ADHD is that this isn't just a contextual 00:06:46.319 --> 00:06:48.759 issue. Like this isn't something that you're 00:06:48.759 --> 00:06:52.740 just struggling with today. It's described as 00:06:52.740 --> 00:06:55.639 a developmental condition in that you've always 00:06:55.639 --> 00:06:58.819 had it. And I really love the movement that we're 00:06:58.819 --> 00:07:03.399 having now in the world of psychology, this more 00:07:03.399 --> 00:07:07.160 neuroaffirming, which we're looking at neurodivergence. 00:07:07.939 --> 00:07:12.199 So as opposed to a disorder, we're thinking that 00:07:12.199 --> 00:07:14.420 we're looking at brains being wired differently, 00:07:14.579 --> 00:07:16.819 which is much more validating and compassionate. 00:07:17.300 --> 00:07:21.060 So when we think about an ADHD brain, under this 00:07:21.060 --> 00:07:24.480 umbrella of neurodivergence or the autistic brain, 00:07:24.600 --> 00:07:27.139 or we have the epileptic brain is under that 00:07:27.139 --> 00:07:29.500 umbrella as well. They're wired differently. 00:07:29.519 --> 00:07:33.879 So they're driven by different things. So, and 00:07:33.879 --> 00:07:37.019 I find that really helpful for my ADHD community 00:07:37.019 --> 00:07:42.439 to recognize that the ADHD brain and the, to 00:07:42.439 --> 00:07:44.879 a large extent, the autistic brain is driven 00:07:44.879 --> 00:07:50.449 by interest, by novelty, by stress. and by challenge. 00:07:51.310 --> 00:07:53.930 Now, that's different to the neurotypical brain 00:07:53.930 --> 00:07:57.670 that is driven by doing the right thing or driven 00:07:57.670 --> 00:08:01.310 by a sense of belonging or doing what's expected. 00:08:01.689 --> 00:08:05.970 The ADHD brain likes to be stimulated, which 00:08:05.970 --> 00:08:08.930 means that one of the problems we have when there's 00:08:08.930 --> 00:08:12.050 a lot going on is that the ADHD -er will choose 00:08:12.050 --> 00:08:15.449 to do what's novel, what's new, what's interesting, 00:08:15.589 --> 00:08:18.319 what's challenging, what's stressful. versus 00:08:18.319 --> 00:08:22.360 what has to be done just because. Like your chores 00:08:22.360 --> 00:08:26.600 or your admin. So you have an ADHD who can, you 00:08:26.600 --> 00:08:30.439 know, pull off a fantastic podcast, but they'll 00:08:30.439 --> 00:08:35.019 really struggle to do their taxes or organize 00:08:35.019 --> 00:08:38.500 the day -to -day pickups of the kids. So that's 00:08:38.500 --> 00:08:40.360 quite different. So in terms of functioning, 00:08:40.639 --> 00:08:44.039 we think of, you know, the overwhelm of the day 00:08:44.039 --> 00:08:46.379 -to -day life that we have, of course. You know, 00:08:46.399 --> 00:08:49.620 it's hard to juggle lots of things. Our brain, 00:08:49.639 --> 00:08:53.840 we all have limits. But the ADHD brain is more 00:08:53.840 --> 00:08:56.899 than just struggling to juggle. Like it will 00:08:56.899 --> 00:08:59.379 impact functioning. And I think what's really 00:08:59.379 --> 00:09:05.179 important is to recognize that the burnout piece, 00:09:05.440 --> 00:09:09.500 because that's what usually brings clients to 00:09:09.500 --> 00:09:13.860 see me, is when they feel this visceral burnout. 00:09:14.789 --> 00:09:17.750 Like the lady who came on our podcast, Michaela 00:09:17.750 --> 00:09:20.850 Thomas, she talks about having two states, meerkat 00:09:20.850 --> 00:09:24.169 and sloth. So when you're in the meerkat, you're 00:09:24.169 --> 00:09:26.509 all excited. You get easily distracted by the 00:09:26.509 --> 00:09:30.210 squirrel. Everything is, you know, sparkly. Everything's 00:09:30.210 --> 00:09:32.269 exciting and sort of, you know, you've got a 00:09:32.269 --> 00:09:35.250 bit of a skip and a buzz, but then you burn out 00:09:35.250 --> 00:09:38.350 and then you're like a sloth. And my clients 00:09:38.350 --> 00:09:40.470 will describe the state where they just cannot 00:09:40.470 --> 00:09:43.899 get up for anything, like nothing. It's worth 00:09:43.899 --> 00:09:47.179 it. And it's emotional because often it comes 00:09:47.179 --> 00:09:49.440 with lots of self -criticism. Like what's wrong 00:09:49.440 --> 00:09:52.259 with me? Why can't I just do this small task? 00:09:52.460 --> 00:09:57.220 Everything feels insurmountable. But it's also 00:09:57.220 --> 00:10:01.220 deeply physical. Like they're exhausted. And 00:10:01.220 --> 00:10:03.759 that's because they've just had probably a period 00:10:03.759 --> 00:10:06.960 of hyperactivity and getting everything done. 00:10:07.500 --> 00:10:11.059 And they're exhausted by that. So it's kind of 00:10:11.059 --> 00:10:15.230 like a feast and a famine. And I think that's 00:10:15.230 --> 00:10:17.590 different to the overwhelm of day -to -day. That 00:10:17.590 --> 00:10:20.429 was the 40s formula in focus with Dr. Emma Waddington 00:10:20.429 --> 00:10:23.570 talking about ADHD in women. If you would like 00:10:23.570 --> 00:10:25.610 to catch more, click on the link in the show 00:10:25.610 --> 00:10:25.830 notes.