WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:03.020 There is one thing that I think traps women more 00:00:03.020 --> 00:00:05.620 than any other single influence. It's diet culture. 00:00:06.059 --> 00:00:08.880 This whole skinny talk BS. I was an overweight 00:00:08.880 --> 00:00:12.720 kid. So for me, looking at those magazines, I 00:00:12.720 --> 00:00:15.919 felt like I wasn't good enough. It is not about 00:00:15.919 --> 00:00:18.600 doing too much necessarily, because we are high 00:00:18.600 --> 00:00:20.739 functioning women. It's about doing too much 00:00:20.739 --> 00:00:24.219 of the wrong things. Muscle is not about vanity. 00:00:24.579 --> 00:00:26.899 It's not about weight. It's about longevity. 00:00:27.129 --> 00:00:30.489 and health. Your 40s has to be the no f***s given 00:00:30.489 --> 00:00:33.530 decade. It has to be. If it's not a hell yes, 00:00:33.909 --> 00:00:36.689 it's a no. Which of these fixes do you need to 00:00:36.689 --> 00:00:39.630 prioritize right now? Is it body? Is it mind? 00:00:40.149 --> 00:00:43.570 Is it life? So I want to know. What's your 40s 00:00:43.570 --> 00:00:46.149 formula? Oh my god, we have asked that question 00:00:46.149 --> 00:00:51.170 99 times before. And today marks episode 100. 00:00:51.450 --> 00:00:53.530 Can you even believe it? Honestly, it feels like 00:00:53.530 --> 00:00:55.810 we've just started, but it also feels like we've 00:00:55.810 --> 00:00:57.729 lived a thousand lives through this conversation. 00:00:57.909 --> 00:01:00.210 So today we are going to be flipping the script. 00:01:00.530 --> 00:01:03.149 We are. And instead of having a guest, we are 00:01:03.149 --> 00:01:05.349 answering the question for you. We have combed 00:01:05.349 --> 00:01:07.730 through every single episode, every expert insight, 00:01:08.030 --> 00:01:11.250 every aha moment from the last two years. And 00:01:11.250 --> 00:01:13.930 we've distilled it into the ultimate guide, the 00:01:13.930 --> 00:01:17.390 cheat sheet to end all cheat sheets. Welcome 00:01:17.390 --> 00:01:20.909 to the 40s formula. Before we get going, please 00:01:20.909 --> 00:01:23.069 remember to hit subscribe and take a moment to 00:01:23.069 --> 00:01:25.430 support the show by leaving a review on your 00:01:25.430 --> 00:01:27.930 favourite podcast platform. Your reviews will 00:01:27.930 --> 00:01:30.450 help us reach more people and allow us to continue 00:01:30.450 --> 00:01:32.459 bringing valuable content. It shouldn't take 00:01:32.459 --> 00:01:34.680 a moment and it's a free way for you to support 00:01:34.680 --> 00:01:37.260 the show. You can also stay updated with the 00:01:37.260 --> 00:01:40.760 40s Formula by following us on Instagram at the 00:01:40.760 --> 00:01:43.719 40s Formula. All one word. We share behind the 00:01:43.719 --> 00:01:46.379 scenes insights, episode updates and much more. 00:01:46.640 --> 00:01:49.120 So please click that follow button. You know, 00:01:49.140 --> 00:01:52.200 when we started this podcast, we wanted to redefine 00:01:52.200 --> 00:01:55.040 what this decade actually meant. We wanted to 00:01:55.040 --> 00:01:57.439 move away from the crisis narrative and move 00:01:57.439 --> 00:02:00.719 into the opportunity narrative. Exactly. And 00:02:00.719 --> 00:02:02.920 looking back at the data, because you know we 00:02:02.920 --> 00:02:06.099 love the data, themes started to emerge. It's 00:02:06.099 --> 00:02:09.500 not just random advice. It's a cohesive roadmap 00:02:09.500 --> 00:02:12.379 to your 40s. We realized that to truly thrive 00:02:12.379 --> 00:02:15.419 now, you need to address three specific pillars. 00:02:15.740 --> 00:02:17.680 You can't just fix one and ignore the others. 00:02:17.979 --> 00:02:20.780 Right. So today, we are breaking this episode 00:02:20.780 --> 00:02:24.270 down into the body fix, the mind fix. and the 00:02:24.270 --> 00:02:26.409 life fix. Look, this wisdom didn't just come 00:02:26.409 --> 00:02:28.889 out of thin air. It came from incredible doctors, 00:02:29.169 --> 00:02:31.330 psychologists, nutritionists and women who have 00:02:31.330 --> 00:02:34.250 sat in that chair. So grab a notebook. Seriously, 00:02:34.389 --> 00:02:36.610 go get a pen and paper because we are about to 00:02:36.610 --> 00:02:40.449 give you the condensed wisdom of 100 hours of 00:02:40.449 --> 00:02:43.789 conversations. Are you ready to unlock the ultimate 00:02:43.789 --> 00:02:46.229 formula? So I think we should start with our 00:02:46.229 --> 00:02:49.449 favorite topic, which is the body fix. What do 00:02:49.449 --> 00:02:52.169 you think, Amanda? Honestly, if I could sum it 00:02:52.169 --> 00:02:55.240 up. It is about muscle. It's really about muscle. 00:02:55.639 --> 00:02:58.520 And muscle is not about vanity. It's not about 00:02:58.520 --> 00:03:01.539 weight. It's about longevity. health. I mean 00:03:01.539 --> 00:03:04.479 it can be a little bit about vanity right? I 00:03:04.479 --> 00:03:06.360 mean I'm the first one to put my muscles out 00:03:06.360 --> 00:03:08.300 okay when the when the energy demands but what 00:03:08.300 --> 00:03:11.800 I will say is it's so much more about what muscle 00:03:11.800 --> 00:03:15.139 does for us as aging women it's where we can 00:03:15.139 --> 00:03:17.460 store glucose right so that protects our glucose 00:03:17.460 --> 00:03:20.620 metabolism prevents diabetes it's where we get 00:03:20.620 --> 00:03:23.400 our functional strength right a lot of times 00:03:23.400 --> 00:03:25.819 women are confused about why they can't do certain 00:03:25.819 --> 00:03:28.400 things anymore and the answer lies in you don't 00:03:28.400 --> 00:03:30.860 have the muscles for that. You didn't develop 00:03:30.860 --> 00:03:32.879 that strength earlier in life and it don't come 00:03:32.879 --> 00:03:35.199 for free. That's the thing, isn't it? And we've 00:03:35.199 --> 00:03:38.120 had so many specialists talk about this. We had 00:03:38.120 --> 00:03:40.840 Laura Phillips talk about how important muscle 00:03:40.840 --> 00:03:43.699 is. We've had Dr. Jean Ng talk about it. And 00:03:43.699 --> 00:03:46.319 I feel like it always gets put on the backseat 00:03:46.319 --> 00:03:48.120 when you're in your forties, because you think 00:03:48.120 --> 00:03:50.819 that you need to be skinny and you need to lose 00:03:50.819 --> 00:03:54.719 weight and you need to fit this particular mold 00:03:54.719 --> 00:03:58.620 that we have been fighting against since... our 00:03:58.620 --> 00:04:00.860 teenage years. And if there is one thing that 00:04:00.860 --> 00:04:03.860 I think traps women more than any other single 00:04:03.860 --> 00:04:06.599 influence, it's diet culture. This whole skinny 00:04:06.599 --> 00:04:08.460 talk BS. Again, we didn't have skinny talk growing 00:04:08.460 --> 00:04:10.580 up, but we had magazines, we had Kate Moss telling 00:04:10.580 --> 00:04:13.099 us that nothing tastes as good as skinny feels. 00:04:13.400 --> 00:04:17.000 And that shit is the problem. Totally, totally. 00:04:17.139 --> 00:04:20.029 And you know what? I was an overweight kid. So 00:04:20.029 --> 00:04:22.870 for me looking at those magazines and looking 00:04:22.870 --> 00:04:26.649 at all the women on TV I you know I felt it I 00:04:26.649 --> 00:04:29.189 felt like I wasn't good enough and the problem 00:04:29.189 --> 00:04:32.870 was was that message about being skinny was then 00:04:32.870 --> 00:04:36.680 tied to the way I valued myself. And it's not 00:04:36.680 --> 00:04:38.600 just me. And I know there's so many women out 00:04:38.600 --> 00:04:41.079 there. And then when these feelings get deeply 00:04:41.079 --> 00:04:43.579 ingrained, it becomes so much harder to remove 00:04:43.579 --> 00:04:46.560 them. So no matter how much you try not to step 00:04:46.560 --> 00:04:49.160 on the scale and not see what the weight is and 00:04:49.160 --> 00:04:53.180 not to, you know, not eat that second piece of 00:04:53.180 --> 00:04:56.990 pizza or whatever it is. It's hard. It's hard. 00:04:57.129 --> 00:04:59.129 It's really hard. When that's your background, 00:04:59.310 --> 00:05:01.290 that has to be like a constant challenge, right? 00:05:01.389 --> 00:05:03.470 Because we don't just shed the women that we 00:05:03.470 --> 00:05:05.629 were before, right? But the good news about being 00:05:05.629 --> 00:05:08.269 in our 40s is that we can take all these identities 00:05:08.269 --> 00:05:11.310 and start to synthesize into who we want to be. 00:05:11.310 --> 00:05:14.310 And I am such a believer. And again, Laura Phillips 00:05:14.310 --> 00:05:16.850 episode was such a great reminder that strength 00:05:16.850 --> 00:05:20.420 training. is the path to how we reconcile those 00:05:20.420 --> 00:05:23.620 identities. It's the way that we emerge and shed 00:05:23.620 --> 00:05:25.639 these beliefs that smaller is better, shrinking 00:05:25.639 --> 00:05:28.379 is the only way, we should be lighter, and embrace 00:05:28.379 --> 00:05:32.319 that muscles are power. That feeling strong is 00:05:32.319 --> 00:05:35.040 so much better than feeling weak. Right? I always 00:05:35.040 --> 00:05:37.120 say in my clinic that we should be the heaviest 00:05:37.120 --> 00:05:39.459 version of our healthy weight. Right? I think 00:05:39.459 --> 00:05:41.699 that's brilliant. The most muscle you can get, 00:05:41.980 --> 00:05:45.339 put it on. 100%. And you know, when we think 00:05:45.339 --> 00:05:48.790 about it, we... don't wanna go through life now. 00:05:48.810 --> 00:05:52.910 We're at our 40s. We are edging closer to that 00:05:52.910 --> 00:05:55.930 half century. We're edging closer, unfortunately, 00:05:56.490 --> 00:05:58.350 to the other side. You know, when you're in your 00:05:58.350 --> 00:06:00.389 20s, your 30s, you're not really thinking about 00:06:00.389 --> 00:06:02.230 mortality. You're not thinking about any of that 00:06:02.230 --> 00:06:03.829 stuff. You're probably just thinking about, you 00:06:03.829 --> 00:06:06.649 know, how you look and all of, you know, those. 00:06:07.000 --> 00:06:09.040 fun things, don't know if that's fun, but anyway. 00:06:09.319 --> 00:06:11.240 Getting attention from partners, right? Looking 00:06:11.240 --> 00:06:14.100 good in your dresses. We were all there. Yeah, 00:06:14.180 --> 00:06:16.459 but when you hit your 40s, now you're thinking 00:06:16.459 --> 00:06:19.740 about, right, what is the meaning of life? You 00:06:19.740 --> 00:06:21.199 know, what is happening? Your body is changing, 00:06:21.399 --> 00:06:23.879 everything is changing. So then your training, 00:06:24.339 --> 00:06:27.139 your eating, everything that you're doing needs 00:06:27.139 --> 00:06:31.100 to change to support you through the next 40 00:06:31.100 --> 00:06:33.259 years, if that's where you want to get to or 00:06:33.259 --> 00:06:36.040 more. And you can't build that body that supports 00:06:36.040 --> 00:06:39.199 you without the bricks. Yes. You need the nutrition 00:06:39.199 --> 00:06:41.500 and you need the strength training. Right. There 00:06:41.500 --> 00:06:44.000 are two things that produce muscles. And Laura 00:06:44.000 --> 00:06:47.459 reminded us that two grams per kg of body weight 00:06:47.459 --> 00:06:52.000 of protein per day is an optimal level for most 00:06:52.000 --> 00:06:53.620 women, especially those that are training to 00:06:53.620 --> 00:06:55.600 build muscles. Hundred percent. And I think a 00:06:55.600 --> 00:06:58.060 lot of women are under eating protein. You know, 00:06:58.120 --> 00:07:00.600 one of the things I get when I speak to clients 00:07:00.600 --> 00:07:05.300 is I don't like meat. I don't like eat to eat 00:07:05.300 --> 00:07:07.860 chicken or I don't like to eat this or it's too 00:07:07.860 --> 00:07:10.379 heavy for me. The food just doesn't feel right. 00:07:10.579 --> 00:07:14.180 I get too stuffed. I get bloated. But the truth 00:07:14.180 --> 00:07:16.980 of the matter is, is you don't need it to come 00:07:16.980 --> 00:07:19.290 from just a meat source. you just need to hit 00:07:19.290 --> 00:07:21.430 those amino acid requirements. That's right. 00:07:21.470 --> 00:07:23.949 You need to get all of your essential amino acids 00:07:23.949 --> 00:07:26.970 into your plate, however those combinations look. 00:07:27.029 --> 00:07:29.149 And I hear that too from women, that, you know, 00:07:29.689 --> 00:07:31.730 portions, large portions of meat are hard to 00:07:31.730 --> 00:07:34.110 get down. But what I will say is be creative. 00:07:34.250 --> 00:07:36.870 Yeah. Be creative with the ways you mix and match 00:07:36.870 --> 00:07:38.629 your proteins. And that's one of the reasons 00:07:38.629 --> 00:07:41.350 that I love that the Meat Club has been the sponsor 00:07:41.350 --> 00:07:43.850 of this show since day one. Because the Meat 00:07:43.850 --> 00:07:47.250 Club is all about getting diverse animal and 00:07:47.250 --> 00:07:50.240 plant protein. onto your plate in the easiest 00:07:50.240 --> 00:07:52.439 way possible. Honestly, that subscription service 00:07:52.439 --> 00:07:56.180 has really saved me. I love that I will just 00:07:56.180 --> 00:07:58.399 sit back, chill. I've set my subscription and 00:07:58.399 --> 00:08:01.060 then every two weeks there's a delivery and it's 00:08:01.060 --> 00:08:06.139 got a vast array of fruit, vegetables, protein, 00:08:06.360 --> 00:08:07.519 everything that I need and I don't need to think 00:08:07.519 --> 00:08:10.259 about it. And that's such a big thing. It's such 00:08:10.259 --> 00:08:13.040 a big dilemma that women have when they're in 00:08:13.040 --> 00:08:16.459 their forties is the time and the energy to go 00:08:16.459 --> 00:08:19.209 out and Think about what are we cooking? What 00:08:19.209 --> 00:08:21.829 are we making? How do I get that protein onto 00:08:21.829 --> 00:08:24.310 my plate? The answer is simplify the system. 00:08:24.689 --> 00:08:26.350 So I definitely encourage any listeners that 00:08:26.350 --> 00:08:29.110 have not tried the meat club yet to get on that. 00:08:29.230 --> 00:08:32.950 You get $20 off your first order with code TFF20. 00:08:33.110 --> 00:08:35.289 And again, if you are a busy mom like us, you 00:08:35.289 --> 00:08:37.690 will not regret it. So when you're in your forties, 00:08:37.889 --> 00:08:39.629 one of the other significant changes that we 00:08:39.629 --> 00:08:43.659 see are the hormones, and that doesn't necessarily 00:08:43.659 --> 00:08:45.600 mean that they're falling off a cliff, which 00:08:45.600 --> 00:08:47.059 they could be. Yeah, which they probably will 00:08:47.059 --> 00:08:49.529 be, eventually. But you know what you will notice 00:08:49.529 --> 00:08:52.669 is they're fluctuating like fucking crazy. They 00:08:52.669 --> 00:08:55.190 are going absolutely insane during this period. 00:08:55.389 --> 00:08:57.230 And that's why we really need to talk about this 00:08:57.230 --> 00:09:00.889 because this is something that is really important 00:09:00.889 --> 00:09:02.529 for women to understand when they're in their 00:09:02.529 --> 00:09:05.070 40s. We had functional nutritionist Jo Brando 00:09:05.070 --> 00:09:07.450 on the show and she was talking about how your 00:09:07.450 --> 00:09:09.269 hormones are the messenger and your symptoms 00:09:09.269 --> 00:09:11.669 are the message. I love that. And I remember 00:09:11.669 --> 00:09:14.509 we also had Leila White on the show who is a 00:09:14.509 --> 00:09:18.129 banging 58 year old post menopausal woman talking 00:09:18.129 --> 00:09:20.830 about exactly how she navigated the difficulty 00:09:20.830 --> 00:09:24.259 in managing her hormones. with strength training 00:09:24.259 --> 00:09:26.700 through her menopausal transition. So I think, 00:09:26.700 --> 00:09:29.080 you know, hormones get kind of a bad rap for 00:09:29.080 --> 00:09:31.299 something that's always working against us in 00:09:31.299 --> 00:09:34.100 our forties. But in fact, estrogen is one of 00:09:34.100 --> 00:09:36.700 our most protective hormones. We want to promote 00:09:36.700 --> 00:09:38.980 estrogen. We want to, you know, keep our estrogen 00:09:38.980 --> 00:09:41.139 as high as possible to the sense that it will 00:09:41.139 --> 00:09:43.179 help us maintain our bone and muscle and gut 00:09:43.179 --> 00:09:45.159 health, you know, through this transition. And 00:09:45.159 --> 00:09:46.960 one of the other things that we hear a lot about 00:09:46.960 --> 00:09:49.779 is women talking about how they went for a hormonal 00:09:49.779 --> 00:09:51.860 checkup and everything seemed normal, but yet 00:09:51.860 --> 00:09:54.399 they... still feel like shit. Now the truth of 00:09:54.399 --> 00:09:56.779 the matter is, ladies, if you're in your forties 00:09:56.779 --> 00:10:00.620 and things are not quite right, that hormone 00:10:00.620 --> 00:10:03.200 checkup that you had at that time was just a 00:10:03.200 --> 00:10:05.360 snapshot in time. It could have been that that 00:10:05.360 --> 00:10:08.120 day your hormones were perfectly fine or they 00:10:08.120 --> 00:10:10.679 were super high, which made it look like, you 00:10:10.679 --> 00:10:14.279 know, you're very fertile. But you need to go 00:10:14.279 --> 00:10:16.639 and speak to a doctor who is going to listen 00:10:16.639 --> 00:10:18.679 to you. They're going to have that conversation 00:10:18.679 --> 00:10:20.879 with you and they're going to look at the full 00:10:20.879 --> 00:10:23.059 picture. They're going to talk about your symptoms. 00:10:23.419 --> 00:10:25.620 They're going to talk about, you know, how you're 00:10:25.620 --> 00:10:28.000 feeling day in, day out and how things are changing. 00:10:28.379 --> 00:10:30.340 And it's not just because the hormones are going 00:10:30.340 --> 00:10:33.059 to give you hot flashes or bad sleep. They are 00:10:33.059 --> 00:10:35.759 going to... Affect how you show up in your life. 00:10:35.759 --> 00:10:37.759 That's right And I think you know you just mentioned 00:10:37.759 --> 00:10:40.200 sleep and it's one of these things where a lot 00:10:40.200 --> 00:10:44.000 of times Hormones take the blame for other lifestyle 00:10:44.000 --> 00:10:46.100 factors that might not be quite in alignment 00:10:46.100 --> 00:10:48.679 So I would encourage women that obviously are 00:10:48.679 --> 00:10:51.240 looking for help through perimenopause to also 00:10:51.240 --> 00:10:54.480 take a pause Yes, and consider their sleep their 00:10:54.480 --> 00:10:57.759 alcohol intake their exercise and their overall 00:10:57.759 --> 00:11:00.559 nutritional profile These things also have to 00:11:00.559 --> 00:11:03.509 be in order for you to really know kind of is 00:11:03.509 --> 00:11:07.509 the hormone the issue. Also, stress. Stress throws 00:11:07.509 --> 00:11:09.629 our hormones out of whack. So that's not something 00:11:09.629 --> 00:11:13.409 that you can perceive that it's only stress. 00:11:13.610 --> 00:11:15.830 Well, stress is related to the hormone response. 00:11:16.210 --> 00:11:18.610 So finding ways to develop resilience around 00:11:18.610 --> 00:11:20.809 stress is also gonna help you get through it. 00:11:20.889 --> 00:11:22.669 And that's something that Dr. Sunda Sussane brought 00:11:22.669 --> 00:11:25.450 up. Dr. Sunda Sussane Morgan, she spoke about 00:11:25.450 --> 00:11:29.490 how your lifestyle can really impact how you 00:11:29.490 --> 00:11:31.679 navigate the whole perimenopause. journey and 00:11:31.679 --> 00:11:33.919 it's important that you have these factors in 00:11:33.919 --> 00:11:36.840 place like Amanda said sleep, stress reduction, 00:11:38.139 --> 00:11:40.960 nutrition, exercise and it doesn't mean that 00:11:40.960 --> 00:11:45.139 you have to go out all hard, you know, and do 00:11:45.139 --> 00:11:47.840 everything. But if you can dial in these levers, 00:11:48.240 --> 00:11:50.179 they will definitely help you through this transition. 00:11:50.460 --> 00:11:52.039 Yeah. And I think that's a strong message for 00:11:52.039 --> 00:11:54.279 women who are high achieving, high performing, 00:11:54.860 --> 00:11:57.279 overbooked and overwhelmed, that it's not about 00:11:57.279 --> 00:12:00.419 adding more shit onto your plate. It's about 00:12:00.419 --> 00:12:03.919 refining your approach to laser focus and dial 00:12:03.919 --> 00:12:06.700 in what matters. 100%. Which actually brings 00:12:06.700 --> 00:12:10.370 us to our next point, the mind fix. I think when 00:12:10.370 --> 00:12:14.210 it comes to busy women, midlife burnout is so 00:12:14.210 --> 00:12:18.269 common among us. And it is not about doing too 00:12:18.269 --> 00:12:20.490 much, necessarily, because we are high -functioning 00:12:20.490 --> 00:12:23.590 women. It's about doing too much of the wrong 00:12:23.590 --> 00:12:27.750 things. 100%. And that brings me to what Marissa 00:12:27.750 --> 00:12:31.169 Nasutian said. She said, if it's not a hell yes, 00:12:31.529 --> 00:12:33.970 it's a no. Oh my god, I love it. And I think... 00:12:33.720 --> 00:12:36.220 Boundaries is something that we really struggle 00:12:36.220 --> 00:12:39.700 with, but we really need to focus on. Women in 00:12:39.700 --> 00:12:43.100 their 40s have grown up, I guess, people pleasing 00:12:43.100 --> 00:12:46.159 and saying yes to everything. But if you're not 00:12:46.159 --> 00:12:48.779 feeling it, you know, it's really going to push 00:12:48.779 --> 00:12:50.779 you. It's going to push you in the wrong direction. 00:12:51.120 --> 00:12:53.320 And that echoes something that Penny Lacaso taught 00:12:53.320 --> 00:12:55.460 us on the show, when she was saying, we wear 00:12:55.460 --> 00:12:58.860 busy like it's a badge of honor. And busy needs 00:12:58.860 --> 00:13:02.399 a rebrand. I think she said... We need better 00:13:02.399 --> 00:13:06.120 words to describe our situation. 100%. I think 00:13:06.120 --> 00:13:09.379 she referred to busy as busy equals bullshit. 00:13:09.899 --> 00:13:12.840 I love it. It's like busy is when you say that 00:13:12.840 --> 00:13:14.590 you don't want to do something. Yeah. That's 00:13:14.590 --> 00:13:17.190 it. It's an excuse. It's an excuse. And I think 00:13:17.190 --> 00:13:19.769 I made, I did at the time, make a really conscious 00:13:19.769 --> 00:13:21.610 effort not to say busy. So if somebody asked 00:13:21.610 --> 00:13:24.009 me, how was your day? It wasn't that, oh, it 00:13:24.009 --> 00:13:27.070 was busy. I really tried my best. I think I need 00:13:27.070 --> 00:13:28.730 to go back into it now because it's really hard. 00:13:28.870 --> 00:13:30.889 I have started slipping back into busy myself. 00:13:30.929 --> 00:13:34.230 I know. But it's really hard to not just say 00:13:34.230 --> 00:13:36.230 busy. Yeah. Do you know my rebrand? What's your 00:13:36.230 --> 00:13:38.830 rebrand? Fully booked. Oh. Fully booked. I use 00:13:38.830 --> 00:13:40.490 it in reference to the clinic. I use it in reference 00:13:40.490 --> 00:13:42.230 to my speaking engagements. I use it in reference 00:13:42.230 --> 00:13:45.029 to my kids. and the podcast and of course the 00:13:45.029 --> 00:13:46.970 podcast we are always fully booked over here 00:13:46.970 --> 00:13:49.169 real talk but yeah fully booked is the one that 00:13:49.169 --> 00:13:50.610 i've been using and i love it i'm gonna steal 00:13:50.610 --> 00:13:53.210 that from you suits me i love it so mandy you 00:13:53.210 --> 00:13:54.710 know i've been on this journey about improving 00:13:54.710 --> 00:13:56.850 my sleep oh you have been obsessed about it lately 00:13:56.850 --> 00:14:01.490 well i have found something that has been incredible 00:14:01.490 --> 00:14:04.570 cozy earth bed sheets that's saying a lot because 00:14:04.570 --> 00:14:07.370 you are really picky about your sleep setup exactly 00:14:07.370 --> 00:14:09.570 these sheets are made from bamboo viscose they 00:14:09.570 --> 00:14:12.960 are naturally breathable and I get the perfect 00:14:12.960 --> 00:14:16.419 night's sleep. They keep me cool all night. Oh, 00:14:16.419 --> 00:14:18.559 and I've been eyeing the pajamas too. They are 00:14:18.559 --> 00:14:21.600 so chic and super cozy. It's a total game changer 00:14:21.600 --> 00:14:24.559 and so relaxing for the evenings. And what's 00:14:24.559 --> 00:14:27.220 crazy is that Cozy Earth actually ships to Singapore, 00:14:27.559 --> 00:14:31.360 orders over $560 ship free, and in the US orders 00:14:31.360 --> 00:14:33.879 over $50 ship free. And did you know you can 00:14:33.879 --> 00:14:38.000 get your biggest ever discount 41 % if you use 00:14:38.000 --> 00:14:42.320 code TFF today. So head over to CozyEarth .com 00:14:42.320 --> 00:14:53.899 and use that code TFF today. of work -life balance 00:14:53.899 --> 00:14:56.799 or just balance generally, right? When we're 00:14:56.799 --> 00:14:58.899 passionate about something, it's only natural 00:14:58.899 --> 00:15:00.899 that our life is going to shift out of balance 00:15:00.899 --> 00:15:03.820 toward that in that moment, right? What's important 00:15:03.820 --> 00:15:06.440 though is if we do step back from our lives and 00:15:06.440 --> 00:15:08.820 we are examining our different roles as mom, 00:15:08.980 --> 00:15:11.419 caretaker, professional, whatever, that we can 00:15:11.419 --> 00:15:14.720 at least see harmony in that. I think establishing 00:15:14.720 --> 00:15:17.639 a life that feels harmonious and purposeful. 00:15:17.879 --> 00:15:20.240 is a better way to think about balance. Yeah, 00:15:20.240 --> 00:15:26.000 because like Amy said, if you try to do everything, 00:15:26.600 --> 00:15:28.700 you're going to feel like you're failing at everything. 00:15:28.720 --> 00:15:31.000 That's right. You know, you can't be an amazing 00:15:31.000 --> 00:15:32.980 mom, an amazing worker, an amazing employee, 00:15:33.100 --> 00:15:35.740 an amazing employer all at the same time. You 00:15:35.740 --> 00:15:37.620 just can't do it. It's impossible. It's impossible. 00:15:37.820 --> 00:15:40.879 And that mom guilt is real. It absolutely is 00:15:40.879 --> 00:15:43.700 I always think of like this is very a very lame 00:15:43.700 --> 00:15:45.659 analogy I think maybe dr. Gene is the only one 00:15:45.659 --> 00:15:48.559 who will love this but in CrossFit There's kind 00:15:48.559 --> 00:15:50.879 of this like trapezoid not trapezoid like pentagon 00:15:50.879 --> 00:15:53.740 of skills. Okay, and it's like gymnastics strength 00:15:53.740 --> 00:15:56.039 You know Olympic lifting and it's like you're 00:15:56.039 --> 00:15:58.120 you map yourself as an athlete like where your 00:15:58.120 --> 00:16:00.139 strengths and weaknesses I think we could use 00:16:00.139 --> 00:16:03.220 that as busy women, right? So it's like map out 00:16:03.220 --> 00:16:06.220 all your different roles and then kind of shade 00:16:06.220 --> 00:16:09.649 in how much effort and time you're putting into 00:16:09.649 --> 00:16:12.110 those, and then see where those deficiencies 00:16:12.110 --> 00:16:14.809 are. And if that's something that you want to 00:16:14.809 --> 00:16:16.350 correct, then it means you're probably gonna 00:16:16.350 --> 00:16:18.509 need to pull back a little bit from, you know, 00:16:18.509 --> 00:16:20.490 in the CrossFit example, training in those areas, 00:16:20.590 --> 00:16:22.830 right? You got gymnastics on lock. Maybe you 00:16:22.830 --> 00:16:24.350 focus a bit more on weightlifting technique. 00:16:24.669 --> 00:16:27.210 That's okay. Yeah, totally. And I think that's 00:16:27.210 --> 00:16:28.950 the other thing that people think of is they 00:16:28.950 --> 00:16:31.149 feel like everything is a balance of plates, 00:16:31.389 --> 00:16:33.370 all in one go. And it doesn't have to be like 00:16:33.370 --> 00:16:35.929 that. If you look at it more like a dial, you 00:16:35.929 --> 00:16:39.159 know, If your work is going up, maybe your family 00:16:39.159 --> 00:16:41.139 life needs to come down a bit, or if your family 00:16:41.139 --> 00:16:43.440 life is more important, then you turn up that 00:16:43.440 --> 00:16:46.139 dial, bring back the work, and maybe your sleep 00:16:46.139 --> 00:16:48.460 is gonna get affected. So everything is more 00:16:48.460 --> 00:16:52.019 of a dial than it is an on -off switch. An on 00:16:52.019 --> 00:16:54.299 -off switch, exactly that. A dimmer. I think 00:16:54.299 --> 00:16:56.519 that seems to work better, doesn't it? Another 00:16:56.519 --> 00:16:57.860 dimmer switch. And I think one of the things 00:16:57.860 --> 00:17:01.159 that Xiao Niu said to us on the show was that 00:17:01.159 --> 00:17:05.250 depression lives in the past. anxiety lives in 00:17:05.250 --> 00:17:08.609 the future, but peace is in the present. And 00:17:08.609 --> 00:17:11.609 I think that was so profound. You know, like, 00:17:11.990 --> 00:17:14.670 if you are living in the moment, if you are living 00:17:14.670 --> 00:17:17.970 right now, that's the point where you will find 00:17:17.970 --> 00:17:21.150 peace. Yeah. And Sha 'an is such an inspiring 00:17:21.150 --> 00:17:23.109 guest. I encourage everyone listening to go check 00:17:23.109 --> 00:17:25.990 out her episode. She is a happiness scientist. 00:17:25.990 --> 00:17:28.390 Yes! Right? So she's not making up shit. She's 00:17:28.390 --> 00:17:30.390 actually talking real talk. And I think one of 00:17:30.390 --> 00:17:33.440 her most... interesting ideas is that the opposite 00:17:33.440 --> 00:17:36.880 of depression is not happiness. Yes. The opposite 00:17:36.880 --> 00:17:40.579 of depression is expression. Oh, yes. I love 00:17:40.579 --> 00:17:43.359 that. That was just such a powerful thing to 00:17:43.359 --> 00:17:45.400 say. And I never looked at it like that before. 00:17:45.539 --> 00:17:47.859 No, because you think, oh, if I was only happier, 00:17:48.279 --> 00:17:51.160 I wouldn't feel this depression. More like if 00:17:51.160 --> 00:17:54.380 I was only purposeful, if I was only creating, 00:17:54.799 --> 00:17:57.559 if I was only building something. And I think 00:17:57.559 --> 00:18:00.299 that's why a lot of moms, particularly when their 00:18:00.299 --> 00:18:02.460 kids are grown and kind of getting into that 00:18:02.460 --> 00:18:05.839 empty nester phase, have this real crisis in 00:18:05.839 --> 00:18:08.740 their happiness because they are not producing, 00:18:09.000 --> 00:18:11.079 creating, doing something that they have done 00:18:11.079 --> 00:18:12.880 in terms of raising their children for the past 00:18:12.880 --> 00:18:16.630 18 years. And that's a side of our 40s that we 00:18:16.630 --> 00:18:18.950 need to explore. And I think that's the perfect 00:18:18.950 --> 00:18:21.509 time to then express yourself and find out who 00:18:21.509 --> 00:18:24.150 you truly are. Yes. It's an opportunity. It's 00:18:24.150 --> 00:18:25.569 definitely an opportunity. And I think that's 00:18:25.569 --> 00:18:27.950 what we need to look at is where can we take 00:18:27.950 --> 00:18:30.049 these moments when we're feeling down, when we're 00:18:30.049 --> 00:18:33.369 feeling low, what can we do to actually express 00:18:33.369 --> 00:18:35.650 who we are? And that's something that Chrissy 00:18:35.650 --> 00:18:37.910 Chew also brought up about rewriting your own 00:18:37.910 --> 00:18:40.579 script. and flipping it and being the director 00:18:40.579 --> 00:18:42.480 of your own life. Oh, I love that. Being the 00:18:42.480 --> 00:18:45.259 star actor in your story, right? Yeah. I mean, 00:18:45.539 --> 00:18:48.380 I think Mimi Nicklin is someone who's so good. 00:18:48.519 --> 00:18:51.180 at doing this. She was on our show talking about 00:18:51.180 --> 00:18:54.539 how we connect and how we have empathy. And I 00:18:54.539 --> 00:18:57.519 think connection and empathy are how we climb 00:18:57.519 --> 00:19:00.819 out of the hole of depression, self -obsession, 00:19:00.920 --> 00:19:03.180 whatever it may be, right? Yeah, it's all well 00:19:03.180 --> 00:19:04.859 and good to be directing your own life. And I 00:19:04.859 --> 00:19:07.680 definitely encourage that. But if you are still 00:19:07.680 --> 00:19:10.640 lonely in that life, if it's still feeling like, 00:19:10.700 --> 00:19:12.680 you know, you're the only one in that movie, 00:19:12.799 --> 00:19:14.900 I think the other actors come to play a real 00:19:14.900 --> 00:19:18.779 role. connection is actually part of one of the 00:19:18.779 --> 00:19:21.660 lifestyle pillars as well. You know, you need 00:19:21.660 --> 00:19:25.259 to have that tribe with you. And it doesn't have 00:19:25.259 --> 00:19:26.839 to be your immediate family. It could be a group 00:19:26.839 --> 00:19:29.220 of friends. It could be someone that you can 00:19:29.220 --> 00:19:32.960 confide in, but you need to have someone who 00:19:32.960 --> 00:19:37.220 makes you feel that there is that deep level 00:19:37.220 --> 00:19:40.019 of connection. Yeah. Again, the way out of loneliness 00:19:40.019 --> 00:19:43.599 is connection. Just that one person who really 00:19:43.599 --> 00:19:45.480 gets you. I think that goes a long way again, 00:19:45.539 --> 00:19:47.420 especially in your 40s. And I think it's also 00:19:47.420 --> 00:19:49.160 important to look at that. It doesn't have to 00:19:49.160 --> 00:19:50.779 be your husband. You know, your husband can't 00:19:50.779 --> 00:19:53.559 be... everything to you. And I think some women 00:19:53.559 --> 00:19:56.039 get stuck in this mode where they find that, 00:19:56.039 --> 00:19:59.019 you know, my husband, it needs to be my friend, 00:19:59.180 --> 00:20:02.579 my partner, my confidant, whatever it is. But 00:20:02.579 --> 00:20:04.140 you can have different people doing different 00:20:04.140 --> 00:20:06.900 things. And it's okay. And can I be like, again, 00:20:07.059 --> 00:20:08.799 you know, you're your resident feminist here. 00:20:09.059 --> 00:20:10.599 Please do. Your husband definitely cannot be 00:20:10.599 --> 00:20:13.299 all the things because you need women to be some 00:20:13.299 --> 00:20:15.400 of the things. Yes. Right. We've got International 00:20:15.400 --> 00:20:18.549 Women's Day coming up and it is. a powerful reminder 00:20:18.549 --> 00:20:22.089 every year that it is groups of women that can 00:20:22.089 --> 00:20:24.809 really make change. And when we do anchor our 00:20:24.809 --> 00:20:27.650 tribe in at least one woman, our woman, many 00:20:27.650 --> 00:20:30.569 women, our daughters, you know, this is something 00:20:30.569 --> 00:20:35.130 that transcends potentially what even your husband, 00:20:35.190 --> 00:20:37.690 your partner cannot feel. And I love that because 00:20:37.690 --> 00:20:40.369 this is why we wanted to create the 40s formula 00:20:40.369 --> 00:20:42.410 community, because there are women out there 00:20:42.410 --> 00:20:45.829 who are in their 40s just like us. who are struggling 00:20:45.829 --> 00:20:48.269 because they can't cope with what's going on. 00:20:48.430 --> 00:20:50.170 And, you know, we want to build that tribe and 00:20:50.170 --> 00:20:52.150 let you know that there is definitely something 00:20:52.150 --> 00:20:54.670 you can do. Yeah. And we elevate women's voices 00:20:54.670 --> 00:20:57.589 in expertise to help you get through that. Can 00:20:57.589 --> 00:20:59.829 we talk about how no one prepares you for how 00:20:59.829 --> 00:21:02.519 your skin changes in your 40s? Honestly, one 00:21:02.519 --> 00:21:05.779 day it's fine, the next it's dull, dry and showing 00:21:05.779 --> 00:21:08.380 every single emotion you've ever felt. That's 00:21:08.380 --> 00:21:10.920 why I've actually been loving Love Indus. Their 00:21:10.920 --> 00:21:13.319 skincare actually feels like it's doing something. 00:21:13.660 --> 00:21:15.420 It's not just sitting on your face and looking 00:21:15.420 --> 00:21:18.220 sticky. It blends South Asian ingredients like 00:21:18.220 --> 00:21:20.579 ashwagandha and vegan ghee with proper New York 00:21:20.579 --> 00:21:23.700 dermatology tech. It's luxurious but also very 00:21:23.700 --> 00:21:26.440 results driven. Their line limiter is especially 00:21:26.440 --> 00:21:28.859 good if you're starting, like me, to notice lip 00:21:28.859 --> 00:21:31.640 or laugh lines. People compare it to Botox, which 00:21:31.640 --> 00:21:33.759 I would happily take after all those needles 00:21:33.759 --> 00:21:36.079 in my face. And our listeners get the highest 00:21:36.079 --> 00:21:40.880 discount they offer, 21 % off with code TFF at 00:21:40.880 --> 00:21:44.579 loveindice .com. Plus, they ship free to Singapore, 00:21:44.700 --> 00:21:46.940 which seems like a very rare little treat. And 00:21:46.940 --> 00:21:49.019 yes, we earn commission when you use our code, 00:21:49.259 --> 00:21:51.859 so don't forget to support the show by using 00:21:51.859 --> 00:21:56.039 code TFF. So talking about communities, a big 00:21:56.039 --> 00:21:58.740 community which I think is incredible is Amelia 00:21:58.740 --> 00:22:01.480 Bailey's happy girl movement. Oh hashtag happy 00:22:01.480 --> 00:22:04.640 girl walk. Oh she has created such an amazing 00:22:04.640 --> 00:22:07.779 community and out of a time that was so dark 00:22:07.779 --> 00:22:11.039 for her. Yeah this is someone who you know obviously 00:22:11.039 --> 00:22:13.279 took the message that movement is medicine but 00:22:13.279 --> 00:22:15.680 applied that to her mental health. Yes. Right 00:22:15.680 --> 00:22:19.099 she started with just the smallest idea. that 00:22:19.099 --> 00:22:21.500 walking every day might change something for 00:22:21.500 --> 00:22:24.099 her, might get her out of that hole. And she 00:22:24.099 --> 00:22:27.279 emphasized that the walk wasn't about exercise. 00:22:27.660 --> 00:22:30.140 It was an anchor for her sanity. And I think 00:22:30.140 --> 00:22:32.559 that's so important. You know, it's such a simple 00:22:32.559 --> 00:22:34.960 thing to do. You don't require any special training. 00:22:35.259 --> 00:22:37.980 You don't need any special equipment. You just 00:22:37.980 --> 00:22:39.960 have to put on your shoes. And in fact, you don't 00:22:39.960 --> 00:22:42.519 even have to put shoes on. You can just go outside 00:22:42.519 --> 00:22:45.900 or inside wherever is convenient for you and 00:22:45.900 --> 00:22:48.619 just take a few steps and you can build it up. 00:22:48.660 --> 00:22:51.019 It doesn't mean you have to go out to your 10k 00:22:51.019 --> 00:22:54.299 walk, 10k steps in one go. It could just be whatever 00:22:54.299 --> 00:22:57.099 is comfortable for you when you start and then 00:22:57.099 --> 00:23:00.220 build upon it. Yeah, action creates motivation. 00:23:00.720 --> 00:23:03.000 We always think that motivation precedes action. 00:23:03.059 --> 00:23:05.460 And I can tell you, in 20 years of doing this 00:23:05.460 --> 00:23:07.940 work, it is rarely that way, right? Every now 00:23:07.940 --> 00:23:10.039 and then, yes, we have a wedding, right? So we 00:23:10.039 --> 00:23:11.420 want to get into our wedding dress and look our 00:23:11.420 --> 00:23:12.720 best, blah, blah, blah. That's a motivation. 00:23:13.319 --> 00:23:15.299 But rarely does life give you those opportunities. 00:23:15.400 --> 00:23:17.059 And rarely does life give you those opportunities 00:23:17.059 --> 00:23:20.619 in a way that is lasting. Yeah. Action. is what 00:23:20.619 --> 00:23:23.440 creates motivation in the end. And motivation, 00:23:24.279 --> 00:23:25.480 which I don't love, you know how I feel about 00:23:25.480 --> 00:23:28.000 motivation, I prefer discipline much more, but 00:23:28.000 --> 00:23:32.220 doing actions consistently, then anchors an identity. 00:23:32.799 --> 00:23:35.779 100%. And the more you do it, the more it feels 00:23:35.779 --> 00:23:38.829 like you have to keep going. That's it. In a 00:23:38.829 --> 00:23:40.869 good way in a good way. Yeah, it doesn't have 00:23:40.869 --> 00:23:42.549 to be a bad thing. It's not oh my god I've missed 00:23:42.549 --> 00:23:44.789 my walk now. Everything's gonna fall apart No, 00:23:44.789 --> 00:23:47.069 but you do what you can when you can and I think 00:23:47.069 --> 00:23:49.430 that's a really important message Yeah, and back 00:23:49.430 --> 00:23:52.069 to Marissa, you know in her episode she really 00:23:52.069 --> 00:23:55.069 emphasized that everything is temporary on the 00:23:55.069 --> 00:23:58.150 hardest day this too shall pass and I think that 00:23:58.150 --> 00:24:00.849 having something like a walking habit is You 00:24:00.849 --> 00:24:02.930 know you wake up the next day and you walk again 00:24:02.930 --> 00:24:05.450 and it really kind of brings that touch point 00:24:05.579 --> 00:24:08.200 into your body and that to me is one of the most 00:24:08.200 --> 00:24:11.000 powerful ways to make change. Agreed. I feel 00:24:11.000 --> 00:24:14.759 like your life fix is something that needs to 00:24:14.759 --> 00:24:17.200 be looked at as well. You need to be brave enough 00:24:17.200 --> 00:24:20.839 to change, be smart enough to maintain and be 00:24:20.839 --> 00:24:24.740 selective enough to curate. Oh curate. I am so 00:24:24.740 --> 00:24:27.619 about it because I think At least in my 20s, 00:24:27.720 --> 00:24:29.180 and I hope this is something everyone relates 00:24:29.180 --> 00:24:33.180 to, my 20s were about accumulating. I was accumulating 00:24:33.180 --> 00:24:35.039 stuff, right? Because I had my first like paying 00:24:35.039 --> 00:24:36.920 job, so I was accumulating stuff. I was accumulating 00:24:36.920 --> 00:24:39.140 degrees, right? That's when I did both my master's 00:24:39.140 --> 00:24:42.460 degrees in my 20s. I was accumulating relationships, 00:24:42.640 --> 00:24:45.559 right? Making new friends. I was accumulating 00:24:45.559 --> 00:24:47.960 certifications, you know, toward my future career. 00:24:48.119 --> 00:24:49.920 It was about getting more and more and more. 00:24:50.400 --> 00:24:54.980 I think my 30s were about then establishing the 00:24:54.980 --> 00:24:57.240 foundation. Right? So, okay, I have all these 00:24:57.240 --> 00:24:58.660 friends, all these credentials, all these things. 00:24:58.819 --> 00:25:03.000 Now, what do I do with it? Yep. Strategy. 40s 00:25:03.000 --> 00:25:06.680 is about editing. It's about refinement. It's 00:25:06.680 --> 00:25:09.059 about curating what you just said. I love that. 00:25:09.079 --> 00:25:14.099 And cutting the damn fat. Yes. And that's the 00:25:14.099 --> 00:25:15.720 metaphorical fat people. That's the metaphorical, 00:25:15.720 --> 00:25:17.839 yeah. Exactly. Hey, if y 'all want to go on a 00:25:17.839 --> 00:25:19.420 shred, you're welcome to it. But what I'm talking 00:25:19.420 --> 00:25:23.000 about is the metaphorical life fat. 100 % and 00:25:23.000 --> 00:25:24.960 and that's so important and I think that's again 00:25:24.960 --> 00:25:26.720 another piece where your friends come in and 00:25:26.720 --> 00:25:29.380 we had such a wonderful chat with Andrew and 00:25:29.380 --> 00:25:32.579 Sharina. Oh yes. Talking about the girlfriends 00:25:32.579 --> 00:25:34.759 chat. Yes the girlfriends chat and why it's so 00:25:34.759 --> 00:25:37.680 important in your 40s but also that it's not 00:25:37.680 --> 00:25:41.690 about The quantity is about the quality of the 00:25:41.690 --> 00:25:43.849 relationships that you have around you. And I 00:25:43.849 --> 00:25:45.789 think that's so important. Yeah, that episode 00:25:45.789 --> 00:25:49.690 was all about female friendships and why they 00:25:49.690 --> 00:25:52.289 are wrought with sometimes conflict and change. 00:25:52.589 --> 00:25:55.150 Because in our 40s, it's not the same group that 00:25:55.150 --> 00:25:56.690 we were hanging around with in our 20s, right? 00:25:56.849 --> 00:25:58.549 We laughed in that episode about being all up 00:25:58.549 --> 00:26:00.549 in the club and like, you know, everybody's friends 00:26:00.549 --> 00:26:02.269 in the club, right? The bottle comes out, we 00:26:02.269 --> 00:26:04.789 all friend. But like, really? Really in your 00:26:04.789 --> 00:26:07.750 40s. It's about who are the people that have 00:26:07.750 --> 00:26:10.210 been there to catch you Yeah Who are the moms 00:26:10.210 --> 00:26:12.190 that you went through those early days of pregnancy 00:26:12.190 --> 00:26:15.390 with? Who are the women who have supported you 00:26:15.390 --> 00:26:18.369 and you've had a loss, you know And I think it 00:26:18.369 --> 00:26:21.529 really changes in your 40s 100 % and you know, 00:26:21.529 --> 00:26:26.170 it's not about how often you speak to them although 00:26:26.170 --> 00:26:29.049 obviously it is but it's also when you can connect 00:26:29.049 --> 00:26:30.730 with somebody and you know if you haven't spoken 00:26:30.730 --> 00:26:33.549 to them for a year and then you speak to them 00:26:33.549 --> 00:26:35.950 and then It's like nothing's changed. Those are 00:26:35.950 --> 00:26:38.609 my best kinds. Shout out to the girls, right? 00:26:38.890 --> 00:26:41.509 Y 'all know who you are. I don't see them very 00:26:41.509 --> 00:26:43.369 often. I mean, obviously, we're both away from 00:26:43.369 --> 00:26:45.829 home, right? I'm American, Jasmine's from the 00:26:45.829 --> 00:26:48.049 UK, and neither of us see our friends from childhood 00:26:48.049 --> 00:26:51.430 very much or from young adulthood, but those 00:26:51.430 --> 00:26:54.369 bonds are forged in fire and they do not change. 00:26:54.589 --> 00:26:56.519 They don't. And those ones you need to hold on 00:26:56.519 --> 00:26:58.720 to. Those are your special people. Yeah, feed 00:26:58.720 --> 00:27:00.700 those. Penny also gave us another term which 00:27:00.700 --> 00:27:03.299 I thought was amazing. She spoke about micro 00:27:03.299 --> 00:27:05.460 bravery. You know, it's not about doing the... 00:27:05.180 --> 00:27:07.960 big thing or they could be but it's those little 00:27:07.960 --> 00:27:10.759 steps that you take that get you towards the 00:27:10.759 --> 00:27:13.299 goal that you want to get to yes the first time 00:27:13.299 --> 00:27:15.099 you enter the weight room this is this is one 00:27:15.099 --> 00:27:17.059 i hear about in in my work all the time right 00:27:17.059 --> 00:27:19.859 it's like i was so scared to get off the treadmill 00:27:19.859 --> 00:27:23.039 elliptical rower section and step onto the weights 00:27:23.039 --> 00:27:24.680 floor i feel like i'm the opposite you know for 00:27:24.680 --> 00:27:26.900 me it's like i'm okay with the weight don't make 00:27:26.900 --> 00:27:30.180 me run don't make me run that treadmill micro 00:27:30.180 --> 00:27:31.980 bravery girl we're gonna see you out at the also 00:27:31.980 --> 00:27:34.180 health run club right which i did by the way 00:27:34.509 --> 00:27:37.049 You did do it. I did. I did the first one in 00:27:37.049 --> 00:27:39.710 January. Amazing. Shout out to the Osler Health 00:27:39.710 --> 00:27:41.589 Run Club. Guys, out there doing great things, 00:27:41.750 --> 00:27:44.269 free of charge for everybody. Stay tuned. But 00:27:44.269 --> 00:27:49.509 how was it? Not easy. But I did it. That's macro 00:27:49.509 --> 00:27:52.109 bravery, right? Or at least meso bravery. That's 00:27:52.109 --> 00:27:54.089 a mid -level bravery to be out there doing something 00:27:54.089 --> 00:27:55.450 that you were previously scared of. But it made 00:27:55.450 --> 00:27:57.150 me feel like maybe I should do it more often. 00:27:57.269 --> 00:28:00.029 So you might see me at the February one. Maybe 00:28:00.029 --> 00:28:02.539 the March one. Who knows? And I think if you 00:28:02.539 --> 00:28:04.700 stack enough of these micro braveries one onto 00:28:04.700 --> 00:28:06.440 the other, right, thinking back about Amelia 00:28:06.440 --> 00:28:08.779 and her walks, you might actually stack those 00:28:08.779 --> 00:28:12.099 all up into a pivot. Exactly. And then talking 00:28:12.099 --> 00:28:14.000 about pivots, you know, we've had guests like 00:28:14.000 --> 00:28:16.359 Sarah Eastwood on the show where she gave up 00:28:16.359 --> 00:28:18.759 her corporate career to start a supplement company 00:28:18.759 --> 00:28:21.319 from scratch. Yes. And she almost had like a 00:28:21.319 --> 00:28:23.480 near death experience in the car that drove her 00:28:23.480 --> 00:28:25.940 to do that. Right. There was it was almost for 00:28:25.940 --> 00:28:28.960 her like her health through that pivot. And she 00:28:28.960 --> 00:28:31.000 could not ignore it. That also makes me think 00:28:31.000 --> 00:28:34.900 about Dr. Sarah Ahn diagnosed with two brain 00:28:34.900 --> 00:28:37.759 tumors. She's fucking nuts. And a spine tumor. 00:28:37.940 --> 00:28:39.539 And a spine tumor. Thank you. Sorry. Yeah, sorry. 00:28:39.700 --> 00:28:41.839 One brain tumor, one spine tumor. You're absolutely 00:28:41.839 --> 00:28:44.099 right. With that all going on, well, she had 00:28:44.099 --> 00:28:46.559 small kids at home. Talk about a pivot in what 00:28:46.559 --> 00:28:48.720 you thought motherhood would be like. I know. 00:28:48.900 --> 00:28:52.720 It's just... It's just amazing what some women 00:28:52.720 --> 00:28:55.759 can do. Oh, well, how about our girl, Chris Edwards? 00:28:56.059 --> 00:28:58.140 Oh, yeah. Shout out to Chris. I mean, building 00:28:58.140 --> 00:29:01.859 million dollar businesses while mothering and 00:29:01.859 --> 00:29:04.799 parenting her three kids. And also during Covid. 00:29:05.119 --> 00:29:07.339 Oh, my gosh. In the worst of times for a business 00:29:07.339 --> 00:29:10.250 like hers. And I think the biggest thing we can 00:29:10.250 --> 00:29:12.190 learn about from these women is that they stop 00:29:12.190 --> 00:29:14.390 giving a fuck about what people thought. Yes. 00:29:14.930 --> 00:29:18.309 Your 40s has to be the no -fucks given decade. 00:29:18.490 --> 00:29:21.369 It has to be. Because if you keep caring about 00:29:21.369 --> 00:29:24.250 what other people think at this age, like I said, 00:29:24.309 --> 00:29:26.509 this is another form of locking yourself in a 00:29:26.509 --> 00:29:29.009 cage with the door wide open. And this is something 00:29:29.009 --> 00:29:31.789 that Pooja Kiripalani also brought up, was that 00:29:31.789 --> 00:29:35.970 to live congruently, you need to be in alignment 00:29:35.970 --> 00:29:39.119 with yourself. And that really does happen when 00:29:39.119 --> 00:29:41.400 you hit your 40s. It does. You hit your stride. 00:29:41.779 --> 00:29:44.400 I love Pooja's perspective. You know, talking 00:29:44.400 --> 00:29:47.099 about taking ownership, I remember when we had 00:29:47.099 --> 00:29:49.619 Michelle O 'Brien in studio talking about her 00:29:49.619 --> 00:29:53.390 decision to get sober. And I think taking ownership 00:29:53.390 --> 00:29:56.990 of her sobriety and her relationship to alcohol 00:29:56.990 --> 00:30:00.470 was a bold ass move. And she ain't even 40, okay? 00:30:00.490 --> 00:30:02.549 So shout out to Michelle. I think she's 40 now 00:30:02.549 --> 00:30:04.650 though. She's 40 now, yeah. But yeah, she quit 00:30:04.650 --> 00:30:06.430 drinking in her 30s. She did, yeah. And I mean, 00:30:06.430 --> 00:30:08.670 at that time, given the environment she was in, 00:30:08.710 --> 00:30:10.250 you know, a lot of partiers, a lot of alcohol 00:30:10.250 --> 00:30:13.289 opportunities, it was really defiant. Yeah. And 00:30:13.289 --> 00:30:15.970 really contrarian to say, this is not for me, 00:30:15.970 --> 00:30:18.470 but that's a boundary she held. And you know, 00:30:18.470 --> 00:30:21.240 we had a Dr. Fung on the show and she's - about 00:30:21.240 --> 00:30:23.839 how your body metabolizes alcohol very differently 00:30:23.839 --> 00:30:27.200 when you're in your 40s. And for me, actually 00:30:27.200 --> 00:30:29.059 giving up alcohol wasn't, I mean, not that I've 00:30:29.059 --> 00:30:31.299 given it up entirely, but I don't drink it often. 00:30:31.299 --> 00:30:33.819 And if I do, it's a very conscious decision that 00:30:33.819 --> 00:30:35.940 I'm going to have a little bit, but I also know 00:30:35.940 --> 00:30:39.140 how I feel when I drink it. And when I'm out 00:30:39.140 --> 00:30:40.619 and people say to me, oh my God, how did you 00:30:40.619 --> 00:30:42.200 do it? You know, like, what's the big secret? 00:30:42.619 --> 00:30:44.740 There is no big secret. You know, I just made 00:30:44.740 --> 00:30:47.119 a decision. I didn't want to do this and I'm 00:30:47.119 --> 00:30:51.369 not doing it. And I think if you feel like it's 00:30:51.369 --> 00:30:53.089 the right time for you, it's the right decision 00:30:53.089 --> 00:30:56.769 for you, then make that move. You don't need 00:30:56.769 --> 00:30:58.750 to. And that's not just alcohol, that could be 00:30:58.750 --> 00:31:01.190 anything. If anything is draining you, if anything 00:31:01.190 --> 00:31:02.829 is affecting you in a way where it's making you 00:31:02.829 --> 00:31:05.410 question, why am I doing this? Why the fuck are 00:31:05.410 --> 00:31:08.589 you doing it? That's right. The fundamental question 00:31:08.589 --> 00:31:10.609 in coaching, as my husband has heard me say a 00:31:10.609 --> 00:31:13.230 thousand times, is how's that working for you? 00:31:13.930 --> 00:31:17.559 How's that working for you? And in my 20s, it's 00:31:17.559 --> 00:31:19.559 regarding alcohol. I would have said, great, 00:31:19.900 --> 00:31:22.319 dude, it's rocking. My life rocks. I go to Vegas. 00:31:22.359 --> 00:31:24.380 I party on the weekends. I bounce back like a 00:31:24.380 --> 00:31:26.299 champ. I'm in the gym the next day. You know 00:31:26.299 --> 00:31:29.380 me, like all good. You asked me in my forties, 00:31:29.500 --> 00:31:31.640 how's that working for you? Not the same chief. 00:31:31.660 --> 00:31:35.700 Three day hangover. Holy shit balls. I'm a destruction 00:31:35.700 --> 00:31:38.859 of a human being. I'm a shit mother. My patience 00:31:38.859 --> 00:31:42.640 is paper thin and my body feels like junk. So 00:31:42.640 --> 00:31:45.380 that's not working for me. And I think at points 00:31:45.380 --> 00:31:47.779 in our life where we are considering the pivot, 00:31:48.059 --> 00:31:50.019 considering the next move, it's important to 00:31:50.019 --> 00:31:51.819 ask yourself, how's that working for you? What 00:31:51.819 --> 00:31:53.500 you're doing now? Are you getting the results 00:31:53.500 --> 00:31:57.180 that you want? And if not, make a change. Wow. 00:31:57.539 --> 00:31:59.819 When you lay it all out like that, it really 00:31:59.819 --> 00:32:03.519 is a formula, isn't it? It is. It's not a midlife 00:32:03.519 --> 00:32:06.519 crisis, Amanda. It's a midlife chrysalis. We 00:32:06.519 --> 00:32:09.059 are shedding your stuff, the bad habits, the 00:32:09.059 --> 00:32:11.140 people pleasing the fear, and we are merging 00:32:11.140 --> 00:32:14.809 as strong, founded joyful women. Oh, I love that. 00:32:15.130 --> 00:32:17.509 And we want to thank every single one of those 00:32:17.509 --> 00:32:20.069 guests for empowering us with their messages 00:32:20.069 --> 00:32:23.930 of strength, power and promise in our 40s. And 00:32:23.930 --> 00:32:26.589 most importantly, we want to thank you for listening, 00:32:26.730 --> 00:32:28.650 for sharing and for being part of this community 00:32:28.650 --> 00:32:34.029 for 100 episodes. So with that, here's our question 00:32:34.029 --> 00:32:37.269 for you today. Which of these fixes do you need 00:32:37.269 --> 00:32:40.490 to prioritize right now? Is it body? Is it mind? 00:32:40.750 --> 00:32:43.369 Is it life or really a little bit of all three? 00:32:43.970 --> 00:32:45.849 Let us know in the comments. Send us a message. 00:32:45.990 --> 00:32:48.509 We read every single one of these. Everyone. 00:32:49.009 --> 00:32:51.710 So here's to you. Thank you for supporting the 00:32:51.710 --> 00:33:28.259 show and here's to our next 100. Woohoo! I was 00:33:28.259 --> 00:33:29.220 like, my body is ready.