There comes a moment in midlife when you realize
reinvention isn't about starting over. It's about
becoming more of who you really are. Today's
guest, Laila White, knows that journey better
than most. She spent decades at the top of the
fitness and wellness world, from designing gyms
for Four Seasons hotels to coaching royalty and
CEOs, but her real legacy is how she lifts others
up. This is a conversation about resilience,
reinvention, and what it really means to thrive,
body, mind, and soul. in your 40s, 50s, and beyond.
Know this, you're not too late, you're right
on time, and the next chapter might just be your
most powerful one yet. And if you love this episode,
don't forget to share it with a friend, a family
member, or anyone who needs to hear this. Layla
White is a trailblazer in Asia's fitness and
wellness industry, with over 25 years of experience
spanning corporate wellness, luxury hospitality,
and women's empowerment. As the managing director
of Elite Fit, Leila has worked with global brands
like Four Seasons, Shangri -La, and Ritz Carlton,
designing world -class fitness facilities and
leading programs that combine science, movement,
and mindfulness. A former Reebok master trainer,
author, and speaker, Leila has been featured
in the Straits Times, Shape Magazine, and Women's
Weekly, and was named one of Asia's top women
leaders in 2023. Beyond Fitness, she is the founder
of Gal Up, a women's collective that fosters
resilience, confidence, and connection through
authentic conversations and community initiatives.
Her projects, including A Spoonful of Hope and
the Passing It Forward campaign, empower single
mothers and vulnerable families with the three
staples of rice, soya sauce, and eggs representing
community, spice, and life. The 40s Formula.
The 40s Formula. The 40s Formula. Hosted by Jasmine
Dillon, integrated health strategist specializing
in gut health. hormones and midlife well -being.
And Amanda Lim, Director of Lyft Clinic and a
leading expert in female strength and metabolism.
Name one of CNA's top podcasts and winner of
the 2025 Asia podcast awards in the best health
and wellness podcast category. The 40s Formula
is your no -fluff science meets real -life guide
to thriving in your 40s. Welcome, Leila. We are
so glad to have you here with us. Thank you very
much. I'm trying not to be nervous. This is going
to be fun. That warms up. You just filled our
cup, girl. Now, you have worn a ton of hats.
So you have been Reebok's master trainer. And
again, I'm familiar with how hard it is to reach
master trainer status with certain companies.
You've been a fitness company founder. You've
been a runner up for Mrs. Singapore, which I
really want to hear more about. But when you
look back on all that you've accomplished, what's
the biggest lesson that you've learned? The biggest
lesson is nothing is a straight line. There's
always detours. There are opportunities the way
I see it. I learn from fitness discipline, from
businesses resilience, and grace from so whatever.
People like to say failure, which I don't like
to say. I don't think it's failing. What's your
rebrand on failure? For me is another opportunity.
It's leading you another door opening for you
to take the risk and explore. It's an exploration.
Oh, I love that. I love that viewpoint because
it's you're right. It's not it's not about, you
know, that door is closed and that's it end of
it's like that's closed, but another one's opened
and now I can lead into something else. Yeah,
I think. All the things that I have done is because
something didn't work out according to what I
planned and something, you know, and I'm very
resilient and I love life and I want to see where
it goes. But also having said that, a friend
of mine had discussion with me a long time ago.
He goes to university, takes his master's, so
everything is curated. But for me, I just finished
secondary school. And then I go like, OK, I'm
going to try. I did modeling. I did this. I did
that. So I was just trying to find myself. So
I was not structured in my thinking. I was more
of a risk taker. And I think that, you know,
people like yourself who have worn these many
hats, I think they have to be risk takers. I
think there's an element of that kind of predictive,
you know, you're talking about your friend, right,
where it's like A to B, B to C. And I think that
that is the low risk variation of life or version
of life. And then you're leading the one that's
kind of cool. for women who might be more of
that first type how and let's say they're not
happy that way let's say they've done everything
by the book and they're sick of that shit they
want something adventurous how do they get themselves
unstuck how do they learn to take risks especially
kind of later in life well for me i would say
risk it all but yeah but it's not a great advice
because it's all coming out from fear so if you
uh in this pattern all the time for you to step
out is difficult but you can always put one foot
in and one foot out explore explore and then
if you are comfortable so i think as you go into
life and what you want to do you are comfortable
to take the risk and we need to change our mindset
especially as singaporeans we are so afraid of
failing Because our school structure is you put
in different schools and different grades and
at a very young age. Yeah, you're tracked. Yeah,
very silly, I think. It doesn't give you space
to grow. So for women, we also have to understand
that we are like the foundation of a home. We
can do it all, but sometimes not all at the same
time. And I think that's a hard lesson to learn
when you are used to high achieving. Because
you're right about Singaporeans kind of having
that success and failure kind of duality, but
also because they tend to be so high achieving
that the idea of failure is just abhorrent. But
what is high achieving? You have to answer that
question for yourself. Success doesn't mean whatever
I've done. I don't consider that a success. Success
to me is... knowing my whys, sticking to my whys
and knowing who I am, to the very core of me.
So I think when people talk about, you know,
they're so afraid of failing, it's in our system,
it's from our upbringing, it has to change. This
word failure, I think it's kind of very... vulgar.
Yeah, no, I think you're right. It feels very
final. Yeah. And it's not. Yeah. Like you said,
it's really a diversion. It's a redirection.
It's a showing you something you didn't see before.
So what what has been your why? What's been your
driving force to get you from where you were
to where you are today? Everything I do is with
intentions and purpose. I like to. I like to
be able to, if it makes sense, I like to explore
anything that. can open up and connect not just
the physical part, but the mind, the body and
the spirit. I know it sounds like very woo woo.
But at the end of the day, that's how I feel
with the things that I want to do. I don't follow
trends. I don't follow, you know, fads. I follow
connecting with humans. Like what do people want?
What do people need? You will never be out of
trend. That's the way I see it. So I mean, I
guess you got into fitness and it feels weird
because you got into fitness before it was a
trend, before it was a thing. How did that come
about for you then? So I had my first child,
Zaviera, at that time she was a few months old
and I saw my brother's body and he just came
out from, what do you call it, National Service.
And he had this awesome, like, looks like Bruce
Lee. And I go, Oh my God, how did you do that?
So he goes like, Oh, okay. So you just get a
pair of dumbbells and the mini stepper. I had
a mini stepper. Love it. I used to have one of
those as well. I had in my bedroom something
to do because obviously I was always struggling
with weight and stuff so I was like oh you know
I can use this but it was not with the dumbbells
it was literally just this little mini set. So
it's just the mini stepper and then he showed
me a few exercises with the dumbbells so I fell
in love with it so Xavier will go to sleep and
put her to bed at eight I would do it and it
started with five minutes and now I'm really
out of breath I mean this is a child that never
used to run for the school bus or whatever you
know and now I'm dying on this mini stepper but
after three months I go like I really want to
learn I really want to learn because I fell in
love with it so I took a course in Singapore
Sports Council and that was the best decision
I would study it was the first course there were
88 students most of them men I was gonna say
how many ladies in that 88 student wow three
and two housewives like me and another woman,
and I would stay up at night till 5 a .m. to
study because it was out of pocket. I paid $500
for the course, whereas the guys, you know, the
fitness center sent them over for the course
and they would fall asleep and be bored. So I
studied and I got to be the second in class.
That's amazing. Yeah, because I was interested.
So one course after another and here I am and
I fell in love with it. I was curious about fitness
and when you're younger, you try to figure out
because you hear this, you hear that you follow
and you're not in tune with your body. So that's
how I started with my first child. Then, and
I also nurse. Oh my god, nursing, breastfeeding
your kid, you know, who breastfeeds, who wants
to be breastfed 30 minutes every, that's hard.
So I lose all my weight, but still I wanted to
be strong. And I was, you know, you go through
modeling and it teaches you to have thick skin,
which I love because they strip you when you
come for an audition. But through fitness, I...
Build confidence you feel strong inside because
you're connected. You know, you're wise. So you
were a model You are an Asian woman. Yes, these
things I don't think of when I think of like
the culture of strength, right? I think of that
that that's the skinny side of things, right?
Yeah Did you notice your body changing when you
started doing some of these routines and were
those acceptable changes? I don't, I stopped
listening to people on how they rate my body
because it's always, you know, women have told
me bluntly saying that, you know, I don't want
to be like you, you're too muscular. And I go
like, whoa, I said, well, if you're lucky, muscle
comes just like that, but it comes through habits
and discipline, hard work, you know, even if
you don't feel like it, you have to drag yourself
to do something that you don't like. So for me,
My body changes and I think it depends. Finally
I learned in my 40s what does weight training
can do for you compared to cardio exercises.
Cardio exercises helps you burn fat. It's good
for your lungs. It gives you more energy. But
strength training, you lose weight doing just
cardio. But if you want to shape and reshape
your body, strength training, that's the whole
totally different ball game for you. You are
ahead of the game on that. So just to sort of
go back to when you first started, was there
a difference in the training structure to the
way it was back then when you were learning to
the way it is now and has your training changed?
I am very proud to say that I still keep the
very basic foundations when I learn at sports
council, which is your form. Your form is key.
And use, if you've mastered the very basic movement
like squats and shoulder press and lunges and
the movement and the form, you're all right.
The rest is all fluff because our body is meant
to move anyways. But movement is because our
body move. You want to make sure the movement
will not injure you. So that's where the basic
training, the foundation of basic training is
key. Yeah. And I'll agree with you there girl,
especially thinking about training after 40.
Everyone thinks training after 40, the main objective
is accumulating muscle. Well, those that are
in the know think it's accumulating muscle mass.
And there is definitely an advantage to that.
But the real challenge is avoiding injury. Yes,
so mobility being at the key of that and obviously
moving, you know through the proper form I think
a lot of folks they're finally getting the message
of lifting heavy weights Yeah, but they're not
at the message of you need to build a foundation
upon which you can load heavy weights a hundred
percent So going back to your question When I
was learning in the beginning I was told to do
very light weights and high reps, right and there's
a difference between men training and women's
training. I go like, body is body, it's just
different anatomy, right? But for, as I grow
older, I understand that as women, we are stronger
than we think. My goodness, I get so riled up
when I see trainers giving women one kg and two
kg at the gym. Hell, are you crazy? Look at the
women's bag, handbag, and when they go to the
market. Kicking their kids up. Yes. So we women
also bought into that hype. You know, we go,
oh, we can't, we can't. I said, no, don't worry
about it. Just try. Try. Just see how many you
can do. Even one. It's building confidence. Yeah.
Right. So for me, as I grow older, training has
changed, but the foundation still remains the
same. I train very heavy weights, but I know
I can change my body. So if I want to build more
muscle, I would train. the reps of four to six
and if i want to like tone down so now i'm freaking
out because i used to be no seriously i just
found out last month when i went to my tailor
so i used to be 34 27 34 but now i'm 37 27 37
so i got a whoa i'm wider so it's not bad it's
not yeah but that's a booty measurement i'm hearing
okay i'm hearing three inches of straight booty
i'm just saying no but now i go like okay so
i i've achieved this i want to So I change my
training. So I change my training every two weeks.
And I think that's a powerful insight that is
not getting out there enough. Which is that knowing
about training, having knowledge about training
also gives you control over your body shape.
And I think that is something that if more women
could understand that having this knowledge is
power, it's not just about, I'll just get randomly
huge and muscular, no. It's about creating exactly
what you want. And the more knowledge you have,
the better you do that. A hundred percent. I
think we women always undervalue ourselves and
our opinion. I know we want to learn. But learn
and also do your own research. It's your body.
You know your body better than anybody else.
Yeah, that's an end of one study right there.
And it will take you through the rest of your
life. So you get used to it. Now is the time
when we actually have a question that is submitted
from our sponsors, The Meat Club. And they want
to know, obviously for someone as beautiful and
glowing and strong as you are, what are the nutritional
foundations that you rely on to maintain your
physique? I eat, it depends, right? So I'm not
going to lie. Don't be lying here, the sponsors
are listening, okay? So I go through phases.
So if I, I'm not a foodie, thank God, because
I eat to socialize, but I eat my protein. I love
fish. I love chicken, rate meat. I only like
it when I travel outside. I don't know why, maybe
like of iron or something. I don't know. You
should know better than me. But I try to eat
more vegetables. But there are times I go, okay,
I want to indulge. I'm not the McDonald's person.
I'm more of an Asian cuisine. You know, the asam
pedas, the Malay food, the spicy food. like to
claim that I'm disciplined enough if I eat like
that today then tomorrow I'll balance it off
with better eating. So I drink lots of water.
So I think that's really interesting because
I actually had a conversation with my husband
the other day and I said to him do you know what
I don't enjoy eating out anymore and the reason
I don't enjoy eating out is because I feel like
One, I can do better at home. And two, I'm just
like, you know, you go there and everything always
feels underwhelming. Like unless we're going
somewhere, which is top notch and someone's really
going to be providing the full on service and
it's the experience, I'd rather just eat at home
now because I know what I'm getting. I know what
I'm doing and how I'm going to be making it and
you know, the whole shebang. But you know, if
it's like a mediocre range where we're going
to take the kids, I'd rather just eat at home.
my husband and I are huge eaters, right? So I
was like, nothing's ever big enough for us. You
get this little, you ask for chicken on your
salad and it's like this much and you're like,
no, I'm gonna need four portions of that to get
what I need. But I hear you girl. But yeah, so
you obviously have mastered your wellness. Can
I ask you a bit of a personal question? Okay.
You've made it through menopause. So you have
menopause and you still look like this. People
think it's impossible. They do. I see them every
day in my clinic, right? They come in and they
say, oh, everything was going great and then
menopause hit and I've never been able to recover.
But you got through. Share the secrets, girl.
Spill the tea. finding out why I didn't understand
people asked told me that but did you did you
feel angry all the time I said I'm angry all
the time every day of my life I would probably
say the same what's the difference and I said
the the ones that bothered me the most is the
feeling of bloatness I try to starve myself two
days three days you know not eating I still am
that five kg on that five kg, I can't shake it
off. And my hair was dropping. I was nothing
worse than being black, bald. You know, and poor.
So yeah, like I'm out of this. But I was lucky.
I mean, there's blessings in everything. My client
was dating this doctor. who I was talking to,
and then she says, come over, let's do a test
for menopause. Like a hormone panel? Like a hormone,
yeah. So I was put on bioidentical. The astrogel,
the testosterone. So it helped me. I mean, it's
not automatic, but it took me a while. But also,
never stop training. So it's not just... Even
with the menopause, I still train. It's part
of my life now, so it's not like a drag. But
I think I know training helps menopause. And
there's so many proven science saying that women
should train. More and more every day, in fact.
And I think, just real quick for our listeners,
if you ever hear someone who is fit using the
word train, I feel like it's very intentional.
I feel like people who are not that fit, they
use words like workout or exercise or move. When
people are fit, they use the word train because
that shows a level of intentionality and consistency
through what they're doing. I didn't go for a
workout. I trained as part of my program. So
I just wanna, like I said, highlights of folks
listening that when you hear someone talk about
training, they're almost always serious about
their fitness. And I think the other thing you
mentioned was the HRT element. You took HRT.
but that wasn't the magic pill. It was a tool
to help you get to where you needed to be in
order to optimize your training and in order
to optimize your body composition. And I think
people go on it thinking, oh, I'll just go on
this and then I'll go back to the way I was.
or it'll fix everything. But that's the thing,
it doesn't. It just kind of helps you get your
body to where it needs to be to give you the
hormones that your body is now missing or that's
a bit erratic at the moment. But at least then
you've got the energy and the drive to get out
there and do the work. Yeah. It's just like when
people go for liposuction, right? Yeah. And then
after the liposuction, they eat anything they
want. It doesn't work that way. It gives you
a head start. You need to maintain it. But it
worked for me. It might not work for somebody
else, but you need to find solutions. Life is
about finding solutions. What works for you.
Don't give up. You have to be resilient. We women
are very resilient and it's our body. You feel
what you want to look like. It's up to us. You're
the one living in it. So take care of it, right?
So Leila, it's so clear that you are a master
of self care. You know everything about taking
care of yourself and what works for you. But
I don't think everyone listening realizes the
impact that you make for other women. And I'd
love to hear a little bit more about your Gallup
project. So Gallup is an extension of what Michael
believes is because I have been a divorcee for
20 plus years I'm a single parent. I call myself
single parent because I played both roles and
I met up. Really you're a double parent. I recently
spoken and become very close to my ex -husband's
wife of 19 -20 years and we got to talking and
I've always wanted to do something for women.
um not to save them but to show them there are
other ways uh to build yourself up and I know
the quality of women the resilience of women
because I and many of my friends represents that
so we got to talking and I wanted to get women
together and I didn't want it to be the same
let's let's sit in a circle let's you know cry
and let's so um One of my, my team member came
and told me that, oh, we should like meet, you
know, once a week or once a month, the women
at the wine bar. And then we just talk and I
say, it doesn't work that way. I believe in movement
because I'm a personal trainer by trade. So I
believe that it's all trapped energy. Right?
So we can sit down and talk about it and let's
do something to release that energy and then
come back and reflect what we learned. So for
Gallup. It's an extension of a space where women
celebrate themselves. We have signature dinners
where you come in. Before you come in, we have
a ritual. It's a black card. You write whatever
disturbs you. It can be today, last 10 years.
Write it down. Put it in an envelope anonymously.
Pick a card of hope. Before you step in, we say,
leave everything behind. We want to hear just
about you. We don't want to hear about your...
grandfather, your grandmother, your children,
your husband. Let's just connect about you. Discover
or rediscover yourself. And we have forums where
we have experts that come and talk to women.
But we do it in a restaurant settings. I don't
want it to be like a PowerPoint. It's boring
as hell. Women, you know, we are in so many routines.
We want to like let loose and, you know, be yourselves.
And then we have Tiffy. Online which is every
Saturday TV online is treasured or effort So
at 2 p .m. Everybody like from the u .s. We connect
and we Maxine and I would navigate the conversation
But we'll start off with whatever you want to
talk about and then we have to reflect what what
is the takeaway today? You know, when we have
people with breast cancer, brain cancer, which
make our problem means so minuscule. It brings
you back to reality. And they are the one with
the positive notes. So Tee Fee Outbound is where
we sit around and after that we'll do an activity
like the fragment room. We trash stuff and then
come back and then we reflect. So what do we
do? Most of the time what I got from Dance with
the Drag Queens, we did that. Okay, how are we
not on the list? Please put Jasmine and I on
the Gallup list. I need to be at the next Signature
Dinner. I need to get up, dress up, show up.
Okay, please. So that's where Gallup came about
and then now we are extending it because we have
been a year old. Now it's time for us to look
at the people that are supposed to be building
confidence and not so scared. So a spoonful of
hope. came about yeah and so a spoonful of hope
you and i were talking a little bit off air i
was confused about what exactly it was and the
name really is actually quite clear if you examine
it it's about getting instrumental resources
in the hands of the women that need them can
you tell us a little bit more about that piece
of the project so mandy you know i've been on
this journey about improving my sleep oh you
have been obsessed about it lately Well, I have
found something that has been incredible. Cozy
Earth bed sheets. That's saying a lot because
you are really picky about your sleep setup.
Exactly. These sheets are made from bamboo viscose.
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so chic and super cozy. It's a total game changer
and so relaxing for the evenings. And what's
crazy is that Cozy Earth actually ships to Singapore,
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over $50 ship free. And did you know you can
get your biggest ever discount 41 % if you use
code TFF today. So head over to CozyEarth .com
and use that code TFF today. A lot of women always
get stuck in the thought that I can't do it.
and it's easy for me to come and go, like, you
can't do it, you know, because I come from a
kampung, I can do this, but I'm so far off, they
can't relate, right? So, it's funny enough, another
organization told me, it says, you know, you
can be wanting to teach these women how to be
resilient, but food is key. So, because I come
from a village, so my mother always tells me,
if you have rice, you have soya sauce, you're
good, but if you have rice, soya sauce and eggs,
you're set. So these are the three permanent
staples that we give to low -income single mothers
and we have donations from OK Brand, we have
Green and Purple MoveBird donating vegetables
and now we are working with Fruit from the Heart.
So these are all we give people something that
they need but in return we also want them to
be part of the giving. And next year, fingers
crossed, we are rolling out programs like governance
and literacy for low -income single mothers,
sustainable household products, marketing and
branding, and the other one is AI. Wow. So, fingers
crossed, it's all in the works. Like I said,
I feel like what you already have is huge and
this is going to be even bigger. Yeah, because
I don't... My philosophy is to take away excuses.
You can't. We all have excuses. Let's give them
solutions. At least try. Try. You don't like
it. Let's move something else. So that's my whole
key. And I mean, your message is so empowering.
I mean, I don't think anyone could mistake what
you are talking about. Again, no excuses. Find
solutions. There are no failures, right? I think
you've been very clear about that. How do you
communicate your value system to your daughters?
You have two daughters. Hmm. By doing, by doing
more. I mean, they call me a tyrant, but who
cares? Honestly, I would take that as an honor,
but by, by actually doing, you know, um, I can't.
I'm very outspoken. I don't like bullies. I will
always from young because I was bullied and I'm
very outspoken about that in school and I sometimes
I don't understand why when I was young I don't
understand why I get always picked on. So at
13 years old when I found my voice I go like
no. So I do what I say. What happened at 13 that
allowed you to find your voice? Things just opened
up to me. So I was sexually abused when I was
four years old till whatever age by several men,
like many, many men. I was raped at 12. At 13
years old, one day I was sitting and I was...
Is this like a downer conversation? No, this
is the real conversation. Tell us more. I sat
down and I was like, oh, this is not my fault,
you know, because victims always feel guilty
because your body responds differently than your
head, right? So your body feels good because
you crave attention and touch. love, right? And
then your head goes like, but this is done so
secretively. Why is that? Right? Something must
be wrong, but you're a child. You don't know
what to say. And then when you were growing up
in the village, it's not, you are seen, but you're
not heard. And because of the village mentality,
it's all a village raise a child. So the adults
cannot be wrong. The children, we don't speak.
So for me, I finally realized that it wasn't
my fault, and it was the adults' fault, the people
that abused me. So that opened up a lot of doors
for me. That's where I go like, nope, I am loud.
I used to be a very quiet child. So I don't know
where this subject is going. I know, but I mean,
about finding your voice at 13, because honestly,
Leila, people are struggling to find their voice
at 40, at 50, at 58. They have not yet found
that voice. So that you were able to discover
that amid the abuse that you were suffering is
actually remarkable. I think because I don't
know what happened. I think just because I value
life itself, I guess, I don't know. But at a
very young age, I see things that I have now.
I go, whoa, that's a lot. But in return for my
kids, I overprotected them. You know you what
you don't get you become so I would not allow
my children to have sleepovers I tell them whatever
you do you sleep you lock your doors. I don't
care so But all I can do is to make a better
life for them. Yeah for my kids I want them to
remember that as I go towards my path I Help
people along the way I want my children, I raise
my children with kindness, humility and know
who you are from the beginning. It doesn't matter
what people call you, you must know who you are
and be very proud of... all the six races that
came together to produce you. Six races, girl?
Do you mind sharing, just for fun? So, on my
side, I have Arab, Malay, Indian. My children's
side, they have African American, Caucasian,
and Native Americans. So just imagine all those
people that came together at that time where
racism is like in your face. to come and produce
love. And at the end of it, you have this insecurity
in Singapore. You have to be better. That's actually
just giving me goosebumps because it's so profound
when you think about it and where they come from.
Wow. That's just wow. Yeah. So for me, I don't
believe in... I'm not so ego... I don't have
big egos. I don't... believe in living legacy.
I want my children to remember the things that
I do out of kindness, not out of whatever popularity
or whatever. I don't care about any of that because
nothing remains. You know, everything changes
every single minute. You're so right. And again,
you know, we only have little kids, but a parenting
mantra that I always hear is that, you know,
your kids don't remember what you say. They remember
what you do, you know, who you are, what you
model. Now you consider yourself, and thank you
for sharing about your six races, because I think
that really represents the soul of Singapore's
national diversity. And I say this only because
you revealed this to me, but you're aged 58,
this is SG60 years, so you're about as old as
this nation, and you consider yourself a true
blue Singaporean. I love that, that was in your
bio, a true blue Singaporean. What are some stereotypes
though? about Singaporean women that either you
think are warranted or that you grew up breaking?
Either one you can share. Well, you know, this
is the most difficult question for me to answer.
Oh, as a true blue, it's still hard. Yeah, because
I don't know what a true blue, what Singaporean
woman is. I don't know, because we I think women
over the world, there's similarities and so many
differences. So I had to ask. Non -Singaporean.
So most of them goes like, oh, you know, they're
very dry. They don't have a sense of humor. Oh,
where do I fit in? Because I love like a hyena.
But also they're very driven, very driven, very
reliable, but in a box. I'm not in the box. But
because of our structure, our rules and regulation
in the country, not many people will think outside
the box. And the five C's. Oh, yeah. Have you
heard about the five? You have not. I heard about
the five C's when I first moved to Singapore.
I don't know what that is. Please enlighten me.
Condominium. You have to have a condominium,
credit card, cash, country club. and car yeah
that's right i don't have any of those yeah how
are you true blue that i feel like i might be
more but a true blue singaporean i see i feel
is like my mom My mom was a working mom. My mom
was not a stay -at -home mom. My grandmother
was a stay -at -home grandmother who looked after
us. Very, very hardworking, very passionate.
True blue Singaporeans. I like to think that
we are kind. I see it often, right? Not just
this women, but men also I've seen it. Where
people get lost on the street and they will go
like, can I help you? You know, but other where
outside the other country, I've not seen that
yet. Maybe. not yet experienced it. I also believe
that we are torn. I mean, this might not be a
popular thing to say. I think because we are
westernized in education, but we are very Eastern.
So that's a struggle for us, right? Our values
are still very Eastern, but we've got... Western
influence. So it's this constant push and pull
for us as Singaporean, I see. Other countries
like Malaysia, Indonesia, I don't see that much.
There's not much of a struggle. Yeah, and I think,
again, my impression of Malaysia and Indonesia
are that they're more comfortably Asian, right?
I always think about the Malaysia tourism slogan,
right? Malaysia, truly Asia. It's like we don't
care that we're not Western because that's not
us, right? Whereas Singapore does walk this very
tricky line. But I think that we should really
hold on to where we come from without losing...
Western cultures, influences have come and have
taught us a lot. We have become number one in
the world. So you have to embrace both without
losing your values. Number one passport, also
number one expensive. I'm sure there's other
number ones, but those are the ones that come
to mind, right? All right. Well, we have a fun
segment coming up, and I love this segment. Do
not feel trapped by your answer, meaning it's
hot or hype. So I'm going to be asking you your
opinion on certain topics. You can tell me if
you think it's legit, hot, or if you think it's
overblown, hype, but you can also justify your
answer. So like I said, don't feel trapped with
one word. I'm always trapped. Yeah. Hot or hype.
You can't teach an old dog new tricks. Hype.
You can change. It's all about mindset. It doesn't
matter what age. You are, it's all about mindset.
Yeah, I'll agree with that too. All right, hotter
hype. Fitness after 50 is just maintenance, not
progress. Nonsense. I've seen, I've trained clients
at the age of 40 and above and they tend to stick
to the routine longer than the 20s and the 30s.
So I've seen 50, 60, 70 year olds are stronger
than they've ever been. I love hearing that,
by the way. And I think that's a good comment,
too, about just kind of the maturity of your
training age as well. You know, you don't go
for the next shiny thing. You just stick to the
damn program. Hot or hype? Social media as a
meaningful form of connection. Depends what your
intention is. It can connect people. It can help
people connect hearts. But you have to be honest.
true what is your why that's that's the key yeah
I think you're right on I would agree yeah I
think so okay hot or high mm -hmm Botox fillers
enhancements okay meaning that you're fake I
think fake is who you are in your personality
there's nothing wrong with wanting to look the
way you want to look what is Aging, to me is,
it's not about aging, it's about living life,
you know, the way you want it. Aging is such
a, like, age gracefully, so you don't do botox,
you don't do this. It's not none of anybody's
business. So it's a lot, it's easy to say, you
know, your beauty from inside. If you don't like
what you see, I have a, sorry, a bit long in
the back, we'll summarize. I'm gonna circle it
back. A lot of people say that, oh, you know,
you had this, done that, done people doing this.
And I said, OK, just imagine that person went
into an accident and they need reconstruction
surgery. And, you know, what do you think? I
said, oh, that's fine. I said, who are you to
define what's fine? Yeah, you know, so, no, I
think it's hype, right? Yeah, definitely hype.
That's the hype side of the fence. Can we talk
about how no one prepares you for how your skin
changes in your 40s? Honestly, one day it's fine,
the next it's dull, dry, and showing every single
emotion you've ever felt. That's why I've actually
been loving Love Indus. Their skincare actually
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It's luxurious, but also very results -driven.
Their line limiter is especially good if you're
starting, like me, to notice lip or laugh lines.
People compare it to Botox, which I would happily
take after all those needles in my face. And
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the show by using code TFF. Well, on that note,
thinking about, you know, how you present yourself
to the world, can you tell us a little bit about
insider, how it was like to be Mrs. Singapore,
to be runner up for Mrs. Singapore? Just what
is pageant life really like? I I've joined a
lot of competition pageant, right? Miss Globe,
Miss World, and Mrs. Singapore. I didn't like
it very much. Can I just ask, is Mrs. Singapore
a different age range to the Miss Singapore?
Or is it that you've been married? Yeah, I was
married. So it's not an age thing, it's just
if you're married. I know another Mrs. Singapore
contestant myself. You're my second Mrs. Singapore.
How old were you when you entered? probably early
30s, 31, 32, I think. I can't remember. I didn't
enjoy it very much because any pageants, any
competition, it's not the competition that you
should be... I'm not proud of the organization.
Let's just say that. It wasn't about the... beauty,
I'm not talking about all the Mrs. Singapore
pageant, just the one that I was in. It was not
about the people, but it's more about the getting
more tables, getting, you know, I didn't, yeah.
Yeah, so I don't like the pretence of one thing,
but it's not the real thing. The one that I'm
really proud. that I've joined was the Glamour
Award through Cary Models. So that was just pure
beauty. You win, you lose. That's it. Very simple.
There's no hidden agenda like saving the world,
but we're actually not. What was your motivating
factor for even joining the Packets? My friend!
Would you like to mention her name on air? Robbie?
So I told, I will never let her forget. So sometimes
the picture comes up, I go like, see, see what
you did? Every year send it back to her, right?
Remember this? Thanks for that. It was my own
experience. It's got nothing to do with the rest
of the other ladies. You know, I think when you
get into competition like this, if you lose your...
Your call on who you are is a shame because we
are mothers and there are grandmothers in that
competition who act like they're single and it's
all about beauty. That's why I was like, whoa,
this is not for me. So that's what put you off
was the way that the behavior was. Okay. Because
you are mothers. You're in a different phase
of your life. Am I correct to assume then that
your daughters were not? No. Not able or interested
to be in pageants? No, they've been asked, but
they said no. I would think when you talked about
being a tyrant and kind of wanting them to have
a different environment around them, that I would
not be an option. No, but they can if they want
to, but make sure you know your core because
people will sway you, right? It's your only objective
to win the crown? You have to do a lot of stuff
that you don't want to. Maybe, maybe I'm not
saying all pageants, but maybe are you willing
to do that? Do you mind sharing that sort of
stuff that you felt was not in line with who
you are? So there was one contestant that had
chicken pox and she was banned from coming in
because we had a photo shoot. She turned up and
from what I know, cause one of the judges became
my very good friend later on. She went and took
the puff and used it. The same puff everyone
else was using? And meaning she did that deliberately
so that others would get it or she just didn't
care? Either way. Either way is still not right.
Then I was, we were told to get, to buy tables,
get your friends to buy tables. And that was
a big push, right? And the way it was done, I
didn't agree. These are people that I know. And
then the other thing that I really didn't like,
this is the ultimate reason. We were mothers.
We had kids. We were asked to do like a fashion
show every Sunday at this studio club that is
empty every Sunday. Every Sunday, there's nobody
in the club. It's crazy. This is not Miss Singapore.
This is Mrs. we have obligation and it was it
was it was it doesn't sit right for me and you
know I I just didn't want to be but I signed
the contract so I I pushed through and yeah yeah
but I met met many good friends there And again,
that's at least there is some glimmer of positivity
coming out of that, because it sounds like a
little bit of a toxic environment, to be honest.
Yeah, that's it. Toxic. But it's just my time.
I'm not talking, please. I don't want to get
like reviews from you guys. Yeah, exactly. The
podcast gets shut down by the Mrs. Singapore
pageant in 2025. But thank you for being candid
with that. Well, you have been so candid in this
interview today and shared so much with us, Leila.
And first of all, we cannot... Appreciate enough
your real and rawness, but we would love your
guidance You know, I'll mention it for the third
and final time you are 58 years old You have
lived through the 40s beautifully almost through
the 50s as well What advice do you have for our
listeners that are in their 40s on how to thrive
in this decade? What is your 40s formula? Get
up dress up and show up. Yes one and Don't wait
for some day You know, maybe I can be, yes, you
can be anything that you put your mind to. There
is a difference between wellness and well -being.
Wellness is what you do. Like you go and take
yourself to the gym, you work out, you go for
a walk, you eat better. That's wellness. But
as you... A friend of mine who's a neuroscientist
just told me a few days ago, saying that... If
you do one thing for 60 days to 90 days, it becomes
a habit. Your body remembers it. So, get to your
wellness first by doing something that you are
committed for consistently to make it a habit.
And then you will be on your way for your well
-being, which is your body is going to be connected
with your mind, body and spirit. So that's the
way I see I love that 60 to 90 days from this
very day very you could change your life Yeah,
and it doesn't have to be people get so wrapped
up with all I have to go to the gym You know
60 minutes and I would know do it for 20 minutes
first 10 minutes first It's your body, you know,
you want to live healthy You don't want to live
so long that your body doesn't function. You
don't want to live So great now and then you
go like I don't want to do this anymore and your
body doesn't function you you look at longevity
More than anything else think about Layla in
the 90s on her stair stepper and her dumbbell
Okay, getting out of breath in five minutes and
now look at her. Well, thank you so so much for
being with us today You've given us invaluable
advice and we really really appreciate your wisdom.
No, thank you so much I don't call it with wisdom
is my experience in life. Thank you so much.
We loved it. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you
Alphys. That's the new, new one. That's like
the little children. Yeah. No, I think they're
betas. I think the alphas - No, stop, there's
already a beta? Yes, I think the alphas are the
ones before our kids. No, like my niece, 14?
Maybe. What? Okay, we're gonna, we are off air.
This is already recording, so we'll remember
this when we see it on the recording. We're gonna
look this up. Yeah, we're gonna look this up.