coming up on the 40s formula i think for most
parents the idea of saying goodbye to child for
the weekend and then never seeing them again
is just unimaginable on 25th may he promised
to send him to school Halep never made it to
school. That night, they found out that they
left Singapore. A lot of people tend to say,
oh, it's just a father. Why would you call that
abduction? At this point, you're in three months.
It's not a domestic issue anymore. There is no
way to... to find his location. He would just
snatch Caleb off me. He was a baby, even if he
was breastfeeding. He started sending me messages
threatening to hurt and neglect Caleb. Should
I hit his head with a hammer? I would tell him
that I love him more than anything. And I won't
stop until I find him. a missing child, and a
fight that's crossed borders and broken hearts.
This is Daylin Lamont's story. Name one of CNA's
top podcasts and winner of the 2025 Asia Podcast
Awards in the Best Health and Wellness Podcast
category. The 40s Formula is your no fluff, science
meets real life guide to thriving in your 40s.
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We'll drop it in the show notes or you can find
it on our Instagram. The Meat Club, where quality
meets convenience. Her story reads like a headline
no parent ever wants to see. A child abducted
by his own father, vanished across borders. But
behind the headlines is a woman. a mother determined
and heartbroken. This is Daylin Lamonte, the
mother who refused to stop searching for her
son, Caleb. Please visit helpfindcaleb .com for
more information on how you can help the search.
Hi, Daylin. Welcome to the show. It's a really
weird thing that we're going to be talking about.
I think for most parents, the idea of saying
goodbye to your child for the weekend and then
never seeing them again is just... unimaginable
and I really can't imagine what you are going
through right now and what you went through but
do you mind just taking us back to that day and
how it all started? Yes indeed it's hard but
it does happen I'm probably not the only one
who's going through this at the moment. And firstly,
I want to thank you both for giving me this opportunity
to share my story with your audience. So yes,
on 25th May, I sent Caleb for access with his
father. And he was supposed to be returned on
Sunday, 26th May. But the father refused to hand
him over. So I went to his house with the police
and he, so we didn't manage, the police didn't
manage to convince him. In Singapore, the police
cannot enforce something. So in terms of like
court orders, family court orders, they don't
enforce, they only encourage. So they didn't
convince him to return Khaled back to me. And
Caleb's father, Lukman, he promised to send him
to school the next morning on Monday, 27 May.
But Caleb never made it to school. So I went
to his house again on Monday. And I called the
police for assistance again. And Lukman's parents,
who were in the house then, they said that they
went out. on monday morning to school both klugman
and khaled and that was the last time they saw
them so um i lodged a police report because at
that point we didn't know i didn't know where
my son was um so i i wait for any information
from the police few days pass i went to their
house again must have been tuesday or wednesday
um and i called the police again they again they
didn't they didn't have any information and um
a week later i go again to his house i call the
police and the parents say the same story that
the last time they saw lukeman and kylie was
on the previous monday when they were going to
school and at that point It's starting to worry
me and also the police officers seem a little
bit more concerned. And that night they found
out that they left Singapore. And a few days
later, just a couple of days later, ICA confirmed
that they have crossed the border via Woodlands
checkpoint. to malaysia and it was on that monday
on that very monday it was so it was this one
monday after they actually left was that i had
the confirmation that they have left singapore
okay so so this was 2024 so it's been over a
year now and so on the the monday the 27th was
when they actually left when he didn't show up
for school But you didn't find out until the
following week. That's right. Yeah. Wow. So during
that one week, what was your state of mind? What
were you going through? Yeah, there's a lot of
uncertainty and a lot of emptiness. It wasn't
the first time, actually. It wasn't the first
time that he had kept Caleb. longer than the
court order states but he it was the first time
he took him out of singapore um so yeah it's
it was yeah very uncertain very yeah like i i
didn't know what to do with my time basically
because suddenly you know like my my life goes
around My son and my work and social life. I
barely have time. I don't have a helper. I'm
a single mom. Work full time and look after my
child. So suddenly it's like this feeling of
like, what do I do with my time? Plus, I'm like,
where is he? Like, like, when am I going to have
him back? Yeah. So, yeah. How many times had
he done that before? Okay, so the longer time
periods that he took him for was when he was
two and a half years old. We were having supervised
access. I was supervising the access and he ran
away, literally ran away with the two and a half
year old Caleb. I went to his house. I called
the police. the police didn't manage to get my
son back. In fact, Lukman's parents told the
police, well, his father told the police that
he didn't know anything about my son. And I turned
around to the officers and I told them, well,
he's a missing person. And so the police officers
managed to convince Lukman's father, Caleb's
grandfather, to say the truth. And at the end,
he said that the child was with the grandmother
at that moment. And he video called the grandma,
so the wife, Caleb's grandmother, who was looking
after Caleb at that time. So I had to go to court.
I had to put an injection order. And the whole
thing took eight days. So it took me eight days
then to recover my two and a half year old. And
it happened in smaller, like two days, three
days throughout, you know, from 2020 to 2024.
But in 2024, last year, in January alone, it
happened twice. for five days so he took him
for five days and the third week of january he
took him for six days both weeks kalib he missed
like school days and everything so i stopped
access because i was afraid that this was going
to happen um and i started access again in may
and that was the last time i saw my son Was that
the, you restarted access in May. So was that
the first? Exactly. So that was the first? That
was the first access, yeah. And that was when
Caleb's grandparents here still in Singapore?
They are here in Singapore, but they don't talk
to me. They don't help me. They tell the police
that they don't know anything. Do you believe
that? I don't at all. Do you believe that they
know where he is? Definitely. Caleb's father,
he hasn't been able to have a job, like a stable
job. And he was always living with his parents.
He used to do online trading with his parents'
savings. So I believe that's what he's doing
now. And they have a joint account and he's definitely
having support from his parents. And obviously,
if you believe that to be true, and it may be
true, then there would be some traceable contact.
But you're saying that the Singapore police and
the Malaysia police have so far not been able
to use that information? Well, his contacts,
the contacts that are known to me, all those
are inactive. I mean, he just, he deleted the
number before he decided to disappear. He stopped
using his emails and... For as long as those
are inactive, there is no way to find his location.
Wow. So this was, it sounds like it was obviously
planned. It sounds like it, yeah. Wow. I'm just
lost for words. I just don't know how someone
could do this and then what you have been going
through. So just to sort of take a little step
back. When you realized that there was a problem
and that Caleb wasn't coming home, what steps
did you take? And, you know, what were you expecting
him to sort of be given back to you at some point,
like in the previous times? Yeah, I was hoping
that I was, I was, I never thought, never thought
he would do what he did. Never. Yeah. Initially.
I didn't act, perhaps if I had, you know, hired
a PI earlier, maybe I could have tracked them
down, you know. But yeah, one is, I really hoped
that he was going to bring him back. And it's
like... the resources that it all takes, like
hiring a PR, I was really hoping I didn't have
to get to that point because I couldn't afford
it. Like I've been on a legal battle for six
and a half years with this person. And that's
drained my resources. So I was really like hoping
I didn't have to get to that point. And you mentioned
you've been in a legal battle for... basically
the entire time that Caleb's been alive. Yeah,
since he's one, so six and a half years. Can
you tell us about the nature of your divorce,
if you're comfortable, in terms of signs and
signals that you knew you needed to get out of
that relationship? Yeah, that's another story.
So I was abused emotionally. By Caleb's father.
So he has always used the child as a tool to
get at me. I'm just going to put some examples.
He used to get angry for very small things. Like
if I splashed him after I washed my hands, I
just splashed him. He was always lying on the
floor. And he would just like... He was a monster
and he would just snatch Caleb off me. He was
a baby. Even if he was breastfeeding, he would
just snatch him off me and he would take him
away. If we were outside and I didn't help him
carry the stroller or I knock him. Oh, there
was one time I knocked his heels with the stroller.
Accidentally, obviously. That was like. awful
and then he just he would just take Caleb off
the stroller and would walk away and he would
leave me behind um then he didn't have a job
a stable job um so I had to go back to work after
my maternity leave I was on and off um so I had
like one day one day off one day work one day
off and um and he started sending me messages
um threatening to hurt and neglect Khaled. So
he would say things like, he peed again, I'm
going to put ice cubes on his back for negative
rewards. Those were his words. Or he would say
things like, he's crying again, I'm just going
to leave him there until you're back. Or he pooped
again, I'm going to put him in the toilet bowl
and poop on him. for revenge and I'm going to
punch him and should I hit his head with a hammer
and crazy stuff like that. He would make it look
like a joke, but once or twice maybe it's a joke,
but more than that, it's very scary. So I left
the job that I had. Back then. And that's when
I joined Beyond Active. Yeah. I could work from
home. Flexible time. And since Caleb was five
months old, I worked and looked at him at the
same time. All the way until he was five. He
could only start school when he was five because
Lukeman never. He made it so hard for me. to
send him to school. He'd never approved. And
he was five when I managed to find a school that
didn't ask me for the father's approval. And
do you believe that's because he wanted to keep
you at home? I think so. He wanted to make everything
very hard for me. The passport was another thing.
So in Singapore, custody is not like... sole
custody given to one parent and then the other
one access like most countries do in singapore
there is um custody's uh care and control so
where the child leaves and then there is um custody
in terms of like decision making like education
uh religion and hospitalization that is given
equally to both parents so that both parents
are part of the of children's upbringing right
it makes sense when you're dealing with someone
reasonable and that was not my case so it's been
a nightmare what if the two parents cannot come
to an agreement on the things you just mentioned
you just have to keep going back to court keep
going back to court and i've been going back
to court for the past six and a half years um
yeah and the other thing is um So he was made
the legal guardian of the passport. And I didn't
need his approval to go out of Singapore. I just
needed to inform him. And he was obliged to give
me the passport every time I needed it. Would
he? No, he never did. He always refused. So slowly
over the years, I've got more of the custody.
But it's been a big effort, big money spent.
It's just been, yeah, horrible. So they made
me the decision maker. on education because i
struggled to put him in school they gave they
made me the legal guardian of the passport after
a while because he always refused um but i still
never got his passport ever ever so he still
had the passport then when oh my god is he a
singaporean citizen he is singaporean both father
and son are you a singaporean citizen i am too
okay yeah you know you said you've been fighting
for more and more custody yeah Has that given
you any tools? Well, by now I'm the sole custodian.
It was given to me in June this year. So right
now he has no physical access at all. Yeah, so
everything is given to me. I just need to find
him. Have there been any sightings or any leads,
anything from anyone? No leads, no. And do you
still believe that he's in Malaysia? I believe
he is unless he has crossed the border illegally,
which I really doubt. Yeah. Like, I don't, yeah,
I mean, it is a possibility. I wouldn't think
he would do that. Malaysia's big enough. Yeah.
It's, you know, it's very big and you can easily,
there is areas that are not as, you know, well
-connected. Yeah, he can get off. the grid in
malaysia easily is his culture his religion his
parents have access you know um it's cheap so
he could he could live very well with you know
like a fraction of what he would need here so
i think it makes sense that he's in malaysia
i could be wrong but i have the feeling if they
were to cross the border Legally, meaning if
a passport was presented at the border. Oh, they
would be stopped. Okay, so he would be returned.
He would be stopped, yeah. There is notice in
Malaysia, immigration, and also in Singapore.
So if they try, they are caught. They will be
caught, yeah. Can we paint a hopeful scenario
that that happens? So let's say for whatever
reason, I mean, it would be stupid of him at
this point to do it, but let's say he goes to
a border and Caleb is brought back. What would
be the legal ramification for your ex -husband?
So there is a warrant of arrest, but it's only
for breach of court of custody orders. I have
yet to file an application to accuse him as an
abductor, right? I have to do that myself. So
he won't be sent to jail or anything for that.
He will be sent only for like a week. for the
breach of court order. Yeah. And have you not
done that? And please feel free to not answer
this question. Have you not done that because
you hope that that would encourage him to return
Caleb? Not really. I haven't done it because
my priority is to find Caleb. I can't put resources
onto something that can be done after. Yeah.
Of course. And we understand that. One of the
other implications and things that you've struggled
with is because Malaysia is not part of the Hague
Convention. Now, how is that sort of limited,
you know, how Malaysia and Singapore have sort
of worked together or not worked together? Yeah,
that's a great question. So for countries that
are not part of like the Hague Convention in
terms of child abduction, like Malaysia is. Singapore
is, Malaysia is not. So there is no streamlined
process for the both countries to work together
to find and retrieve the child. So, yeah, that's
a big complication. However, we got Malaysia
authorities to help. But right now we're trying,
we're kind of stuck trying to get help from Singapore.
They have more resources to find a location.
They could trace bank transactions, for example.
They could interrogate the parents, trace phone
calls, messages. But that's where we're stuck.
So that's your hurdle now, that there's just
no sort of communication between the two authorities?
Malaysia's trying. They are trying, but so far
we haven't gotten much from Singapore. But I'm
trying. I'm trying to. Why do you think that
is? Why do you think Singapore are not being
helpful? No idea. No idea. And when you say we,
Daylin, who is your support team? Who are you
with on this journey? Well, my family, my friends
that are always with me. Yeah, my lawyer, even
my lawyer. Yeah, I have a big. Big support. Yeah.
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and use that code TFF today. How have you sort
of managed to look after yourself during this
time? Because I can just imagine, you know, that
this has been sort of all consuming for you.
How do you sort of keep yourself together other
than your support network? Are there any other
things that helped you just to sort of, you know,
keep at peace with what's been going on? Yeah,
definitely. I think. Now more than ever, it's
important to look after myself because even though,
I mean, I have a big supporting group, but I
have to drive this. I have to lead this. And
if I'm not well, nobody will get it done, right?
It won't get done. So yeah, for sure. I like,
I love exercising, but I would say my, The medicine
to myself is dancing. I love dancing. And spending
time with friends, people who make me laugh.
Good food, for sure. Yeah, I do. I do have a
lot of things that keep me going. What are the
next steps then? Are there any next steps in
trying to help find Caleb? Yes, we do have next
steps. So right now I'm trying to get some media
attention in Malaysia to get more people to know
about it. So we've offered a reward for any information
that leads to his whereabouts. And we're going
to try to use that as incentive for more people
to look for him, to search for him. And we're
going to explore like social media, adverts.
Really, it's all about like getting more people
to know what's happening and getting more people
to look for him. And I think that's a great time
to just mention the website that we mentioned
at the beginning of this show, which is helpfindcaleb
.com. There you can visit the website. You can
see pictures. so that you can help to identify.
If you're listening to this show from Singapore
or Malaysia particularly, that would be a great
opportunity to have a look. And it also details
the reward that you just talked about as well
for information. So please, if you're listening
to this show or watching this show, please visit
that website immediately and familiarize yourself
with young Caleb. Thank you. And if you could
speak directly to Caleb right now, what would
you like to say to him? That's the most difficult
question you've... asked to say. I would tell
him that I love him more than anything. I would
tell him that don't believe everything that you
hear. And I'll keep looking for you. And I won't
stop until I find you. Yeah. That must be very
difficult. You know, in just obviously being
a parent, you know, I can really feel your pain.
And we really hope that, you know, that this
search comes to an end soon, just because it's
probably one of the worst things for any parent
to feel. If there's anyone out there who's going
through a similar thing, is there anything you'd
like to say to them? about, you know, how to
keep going or any words of advice that you'd
like to offer? Yeah, yeah, for sure. I mean,
the first thing is this is probably the most
difficult situation we're ever going to be in.
And at first we're unable to process. We are
in distress. We can't process. We can't. You
know, we can't think rationally. So I would advise
anyone going through the same. Just, I know it's
hard, the hardest thing, but just try to become,
try to look after yourself, you know, as best
as you can. Try to stay focused so that you can,
you know, they can look for solutions. And that's
that's we need to. Yeah, we need to to get it
done. We need to be well so that we can get it
done. I was talking to my husband about your
story prior to this episode. And, you know, when
you say child abduction, I think the popular
media kind of attention, you think it's a stranger,
right? Somebody came in and plucked this child.
And I think it's important to know that. The
majority of child abductions are from a family
member. They are not from a stranger. They're
from someone that's already in the child's life.
And I think sharing your story and how that translates
into difficulty to find the child, into legal
battles around custody of the child, I think
it's actually harder in the situation that you're
describing. And I think it's just important for
listeners to know that it's not something that
happens because a stranger came in or because
of something that was nefarious. It's something
that was already kind of established in the home.
And unfortunately, you have to be the victim
of something that is the most common way of child
abduction. Yeah, you're right. And it's great
that you mentioned this because, I mean, I'm
not the only victim, but the children going through
this, they suffer. I'm an adult. I can manage
myself. Children can't. This is big trauma for
them. And it's very difficult because when a
stranger abducts a child, the authorities act
very quickly. When it's one of the parents. this
is a domestic issue and no one gets involved
no one gets involved so it's very very hard yeah
yeah and the other side of the coin is like from
like people's perspective a lot of people tend
to say um oh it's just a father like it's he's
not abducted why would you call that abduction
if it's the father he's well how would you know
that yeah has there I know you mentioned that,
you know, he used to say threatening things against
Caleb before. Do you worry that he might be physically
abusive? Is that something that you... I don't
know. I never saw him, like, doing anything to
him to harm him. He did threaten to, but I never
saw it. I did... I mean, his mom, Lukman's mother,
and the neighbor, next door neighbor, they asked
me a lot, why does the baby cry so much? And
I never understood that question while I was
living with them because when I was there, he
never cried, ever, ever. And it was only when
I moved out and I had space to think. that I
put one and two together. Did he really left
him crying? Did he really didn't fit him like
he said he would? You know, did he beat him?
I don't know. I hope he didn't get to that point.
But why was the baby crying so much like what
his mother and the neighbor were asking me? I
don't know. And, you know, this is a guy that...
Didn't have to do anything. He didn't lift a
finger to do anything. He was like lying down
flat, complaining that his back was in pain all
day long. Right now, he has to be looking after
this child all day. So how is it going to be?
It is stressful to look after a child. How is
he going to manage? I don't know. I don't know,
really. Caleb is seven now, correct? He's seven,
yeah. Again, these are probably questions that
you've covered tons of times in your personal
life, but wouldn't he have to be enrolled in
school at some point? Or do you believe that
his father would be keeping him intentionally
out of school? I don't know. I don't know. He
was supposed to start primary school in January
this year, but he hasn't been able to. Yeah.
Is the case in Malaysia the same where they would
still need... Like your approval to enroll him
into a school? I don't think so. Yeah, I don't
think so. Yeah. It's just I don't understand
why Singapore authorities aren't helping in this
matter. Like if there's stuff they can do, why
it's not being done? And I guess I wonder if
it is because they're thinking it's just a domestic
issue and it's not that much. At this point,
though, like a year and three months. Yes. It's
not a domestic issue anymore. And he doesn't
have access anymore. I'm the sole custodian.
I don't know. I really don't know why. I just
think it's because there is no streamlined process
for them to share information. So it's kind of
like maybe they get stuck. They don't know how
to process information. I really don't know.
I really don't understand. Yeah, I'll keep emailing.
and messaging and calling anyone i have to yes
too yeah and then obviously his parents are not
speaking with you but were there any other family
members or friends or someone who who may know
something no i've approached friends of him like
he's friends not my friends um they don't know
and they try to message him but they get the
same as i like his number is is inactive he's
not receiving any message yeah can i ask a difficult
question and again please feel free to not answer
um if you look back so january you had those
two incidents where he kept your child too long
you know violated his custody agreement Is there
anything you would have done differently between
January and May? Between January and May? I mean,
besides not sending him for access? Yeah, definitely
I wouldn't. You know, I wasn't really convinced
to send him back. But obviously I was the one
breaching the court order by not sending him.
And I also asked my son, I asked Caleb, do you
want to go? I explained to him all the time why
I was not sending him. I'm not sending you because
I don't know if he's going to bring you back.
He won't bring you back. I can't send you. But
I never failed to call for the video calls on
Wednesday. Not once. And so I asked him, I asked
him, do you want to go to your father's house?
And his answer was, I do, but I don't want to
go for a long time. That was his answer. Wow.
Yeah. Wow. It's like, you know, he wants to see
his dad. But he doesn't want to stay there for,
yeah. Yeah. Wow, that's tough. I mean, I just,
I really, I'm at this point now where I don't
even know what more to say, what to ask you,
just because it's... It's a lot, you know, and
it's, yeah, it's just too much. And I'm so sorry
that you are going through this. Is there anything
that you want to add? No, only that, you know,
just if there's anything that this episode can
do, obviously we hope that this episode can spread
awareness and give any information for folks
that are out there that might have. access to
information. Secondly, I hope that this episode
can raise awareness around child abduction generally,
that this is not something that happens only
from strangers or only, you know, to certain
types of people or anything like that. This is
something that could affect all of us in our
families. And I think also it's important to
note that the person suffering here is the child.
Obviously yourself, Daylen, but the person that's
really at risk here is the child. And so... I
hope that adults listening can do everything
within their power to make the right decisions.
Thank you so much for being with us, Daylene.
Thank you for having me. We really hope that
we can get this message out and help you find
Caleb as soon as possible. Thank you for having
me. Thank you. I hope so too. Thank you. Thank
you. Wow. Sorry, I am... It's just... Oh, man.