WEBVTT

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Guys, we have some exciting news. The 40s Formula

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is going live on August 14th at the Green Collective

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at Funan Mall. We are going to dive deep into

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the science, myths, and struggles around sugar

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addiction. Breakfast and coffee are on us, thanks

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to the generous sponsors, Guzman y Gomez. It's

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a small and intimate event with only 15 spots,

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so it's first come, first served. Tickets are

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only 20 bucks, and that includes breakfast and

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$5 towards your purchase at the Green Collective.

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Come and join us for a conversation that might

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change the way you eat. Think and fail. Everybody's

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getting a little bit noisy. It's about time for

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us to just start to try to reconnect with who

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we are. More often than not, I think we really

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need to just quiet it down. Stop trying to live

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somebody else's script. Really stop trying to

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figure out what society wants you to be and try

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to figure out where you are coming from yourself.

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Suddenly the script just doesn't fit. Suddenly

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I just don't feel like I'm in the place that

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I'm supposed to be. Hide behind that. persona

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that we think the world is expecting us to be

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the whole world is getting a little bit uncertain

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and with uncertainty breeds fear our identities

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shouldn't be wrapped up in what we do it should

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be wrapped up in what we believe because when

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you get down to the root of it all that person

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that voice she's really not gone Hey, and welcome

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to The 40s Formula, your go -to place for insightful

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discussions on navigating the 40s and thriving

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in this transformative decade. We're your hosts,

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Jasmine and Amanda, two women that are passionate

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about exploring the challenges and adventures

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that come with turning 40 and what lies ahead.

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All right, before we dive into today's episode.

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Let's talk about something that makes our lives

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way easier. And tastier, because let's be honest,

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between work, workouts, and you know, life, we

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don't exactly have time to wrestle the trolleys

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at the supermarket. Which is why we've been with

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The Meat Club since the beginning of the 40s

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formula. Yep, they've had our backs since episode

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here for it. All right, TMC drop check. Let's

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see what we got here. Oh, well, first things

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first, you can't have Taco Tuesdays without Snapper.

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But what about salmon? Because that's definitely

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our favorite. Okay, fair enough. But chicken

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breast, that's the workhorse we're eating every

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single day. I think it's all about the chicken

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thighs. Oh my gosh, chicken thighs. I don't know

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if I could get one down myself, but I do know

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that this mince makes a mean burger. Who wants

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burgers when you can have a grass -fed beef eye

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fillet steak? Okay, that is amazing. But with

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that steak, I would definitely be serving this

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delicious broccoli and spicing it up with these

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chilies. Okay, you've definitely won there. I

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have got some coriander, some cherry tomatoes.

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I mean, check out the color on those. And for

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We'll drop it in the show notes or you can find

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it on our Instagram. The Meat Club, where quality

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meets convenience. Today's episode is for any

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woman who's ever looked at herself in the mirror,

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looked at her life and even her LinkedIn bio

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and thought, who am I now? In our 40s, the identity

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wobble is real. Between the algorithm, your responsibilities,

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aging, expectations, you feel like you're being

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pulled in a million different directions while

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trying to stay grounded to who you truly are.

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So joining us today, we have Chrissy Choo. She

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is a storyteller, a brand strategist, an all

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-round voice of reason in a world that often

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rewards the loudest, the fakest, and the most

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filtered versions of ourselves. Welcome, Chrissy.

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Thank you, Jasmine. Such a lovely introduction

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as well. And thank you so much for inviting me,

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Amanda. We are so happy to have you here. This

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is one of our fave topics, I think. Yes, so excited.

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Now, before we get going, Chrissy, the first

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question we'd like to ask you is, why should

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women tune into today's conversation? Thanks

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for putting the pressure on. Gotta start big.

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Make it hot. Go big or go home. Actually, I don't

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think that I usually would lean on the word should.

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Should always leads to shame. And I think today's

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topic, we're really trying to move away from

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shame and move into creation instead. One of

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the most important things that I see in the world

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today is that everybody's getting a little bit

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noisy. this is the noisiest I've ever seen. And

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there's so much news, right? So much going on

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out there. You've got AI, you've got productivity,

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you've got everybody that is getting into AI.

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They're going like, how come I'm not feeling

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like I have my time back? And unfortunately for

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Act 2, for most of us ladies in our 40s, this

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is when it really gets really noisy. But the

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mirror also gets really blurry. So I think today's

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topic is quite timely because it's... It's about

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time for us to just start to try to reconnect

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with who we are beneath our roles and beneath

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the reels. It does feel like there's just so

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much going on. And how do you know who you really

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are? You say something along the lines of, are

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you an extra in your own life or are you the

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main character? How do you become the main character?

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I think it really is about quieting it down.

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Early on, we're talking about noise and how it's

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really noisy out there. But if you want to talk

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about analogies, because, you know, you brought

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up the extra in somebody else's film rather than

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the hero in your own plot. If you really want

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to talk about analogies, doesn't it feel like

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we're playing some drama, soap opera, and the

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fourth wall is totally broken and everybody's

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just watching with popcorn in their hands and

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waiting for you to just be profound and, you

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know, polished all the time on demand? But more

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often than not, I think we really need to just

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quiet it down and stop trying to live somebody

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else's script, right? Really stop trying to figure

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out what society wants you to be and try to figure

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out where you are coming from yourself. Because

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when you get down to the root of it all, that

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person, that voice, she's really not gone. she's

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just hiding underneath all those roles under

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those responsibilities and all your habits that

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become second nature to you so now you're just

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a person that's practicing somebody else somebody

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that somebody else is expecting you to be well

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i don't think that's very good for us because

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more often than not when we get into our 40s

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we start realizing that this person that i have

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Spent all my life building up to become. Suddenly

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the script just doesn't fit. Suddenly I just

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don't feel like I'm in the place that I'm supposed

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to be. It could be just as simple as spending

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your whole life just serving other people, looking

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after the kids, forgetting yourself, putting

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yourself last. Ladies, aren't we doing that all

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the time? All the time. No matter how much we

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tell ourselves we're going to have me time, we're

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going to have pampering time, but we're always

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putting ourselves last. It's about time that

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we start thinking about what we want, about finding

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out who we really want to be. You know, that

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voice that you have toned down, tamed down and

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just forgotten, just to fit in. Because so many

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times in our lives, we just want to fit in just

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so that we can hide behind that persona that

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we think the world is expecting us to be. and

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it could be it's not our fault it really is not

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our fault because we spent half our lives trying

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to just fit in trying to not stand out in class

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because you're going to get picked on by the

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teacher and we spent i don't even know if i should

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say this but we spent the first 10 years in singapore

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saying the pledge and progress for our nation

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productivity then becomes self -worth right our

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achievements becomes our identities we move that

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on into life right we start looking at our certificates,

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our achievements, the projects that we've done,

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the things that we're trying to achieve, the

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goals that we're setting for ourselves so that

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it's going to look good on our CVs. But the CVs

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doesn't have what we believe. Do you think that

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that is a more, do you see that more urgently,

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I should say, in women in their 40s who are Singaporean

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versus women in their 40s who have grown up overseas?

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I can't really speak for other people that have

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grown up overseas, but I don't think that this

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is a Singaporean story. I think that the whole

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world is getting a little bit uncertain. And

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with uncertainty breeds fear, right? But it's

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not to say that we don't know who we are. Because

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there's one thing that social media has done

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for us. It's also created a lot more points of

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views. a lot more perspective and it's easier

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for us to look outside our cultures and then

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we start to decide and we start to believe that

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we have permission to choose and i think that's

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really important because more often than not

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we're not allowing ourselves to be loud and we're

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not allowing our voices to come out because we're

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waiting for permission for us to allow ourselves

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to speak but when we see somebody else it's like

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that four minute mile it's like Okay, so sorry.

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All my film analogies coming on now. We love

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it. Again, Roger Bannister fan right here. Tell

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the story, girl. So it's just like the four -minute

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mile. When you can see somebody else do something

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that you thought you couldn't achieve, all of

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a sudden it opens up. Correct. Opportunities,

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perspective, possibilities all open up for you.

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And then all of a sudden, it's not about, well,

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what are you posting for? What are you trying

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to create? I think it's more intentional. versus

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attraction are you looking to pose for attention

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or intention and I think once we start to understand

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that this is for us this is for us finding our

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own journey then productivity as our self -worth

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kind of fades away do you think that then this

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whole sort of digital age with AI and everything

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that's happening is making midlife messier or

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more meaningful I think it's a little bit of

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both isn't it I think I'd have to agree with

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you. Oh, gosh. Messier or more meaningful? I

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think it's more convenience versus... Well, it's

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all messy, isn't it? Everything's messy. I don't

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know. It really feels like in our 40s, we thought

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that we've come so far. We've built so much.

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And in our 40s, we've kind of started to feel

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that this is a bit of a messy middle. I like

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to call us ladies, women in our act two, right?

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I love that term, by the way. I feel like, you

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know, it is, it's like round two, act two, it

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works very well. And once we start to identify

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that, you know, this is not the end and we start

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to try to figure out like how are we going to

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then use this digital age to kind of build us

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and help us to amplify our voice, then all of

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a sudden it's not just a tool to distract us

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anymore, right? Gosh, there's this narrative

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going around that AI is supposed to be there

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to make life so much easier, more productive,

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get more stuff done. But what do we do with that

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extra time? Yeah. Go right back to the school

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or whatever. Yeah. What else can I do now? No.

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I believe that this extra time is a gift, right?

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For us to ramp up and be more robotic, more of

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a machine to show that we can, or you've got

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this extra time. So that you can do all the things

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that you wanted to do. To find yourself, to allow

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yourself to be more human. Human versus AI. Wow.

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Human should win. I hope so. AI is just supposed

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to be a tool to amplify us, right? Not to fear.

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I think we're just so used to fear. I think that

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we're just in this habit loop. That if we don't

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have anything to fear anymore, we don't know

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what to do with our time. I don't know if you

00:13:19.809 --> 00:13:21.330
know this, but there's this saying that says

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that, you know, a person never really finds himself

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more than 30 minutes of quiet a day. Like, they

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just don't know what to do with their time. It's

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hard. It's hard to just sit there in silence.

00:13:33.009 --> 00:13:35.389
Yeah, and do nothing. Because they're more afraid

00:13:35.389 --> 00:13:37.509
of their own thoughts. Yeah. I think that's a

00:13:37.509 --> 00:13:40.009
shame. You know, it's like, we're even afraid.

00:13:40.269 --> 00:13:42.690
Earlier on, before we started, we were even afraid

00:13:42.690 --> 00:13:46.809
of giving our children some space to be bored.

00:13:47.399 --> 00:13:48.799
Because we're afraid that we're going to be up

00:13:48.799 --> 00:13:51.779
to no good. Although I do say to the kids, I'm

00:13:51.779 --> 00:13:54.279
like, when you're bored, that's when ideas come.

00:13:54.379 --> 00:13:56.500
That's when you, you know, you come up with something

00:13:56.500 --> 00:13:59.700
to do. So I'm like, go figure it out. Yeah, go

00:13:59.700 --> 00:14:02.740
make up a game. Yeah, exactly right. Best ideas

00:14:02.740 --> 00:14:05.480
will come during that moment of being bored,

00:14:05.600 --> 00:14:08.120
being quiet. But you're 100 % right because no

00:14:08.120 --> 00:14:11.179
one has the, no one has the, I'm not going to

00:14:11.179 --> 00:14:12.980
say time. That's not the correct word. But I

00:14:12.980 --> 00:14:18.110
think it's the feeling. comfortable in that situation

00:14:18.110 --> 00:14:21.230
because no one likes to feel uncomfortable yeah

00:14:21.230 --> 00:14:23.629
the whole idea is about being self -aware isn't

00:14:23.629 --> 00:14:25.830
it being comfortable with yourself is being self

00:14:25.830 --> 00:14:28.009
-aware i think there's so much that we don't

00:14:28.009 --> 00:14:29.549
want to look to ourselves in the first place

00:14:29.549 --> 00:14:32.409
and that's pretty much the problem coming back

00:14:32.409 --> 00:14:34.289
to a question earlier on i think that this is

00:14:34.289 --> 00:14:36.870
finally the time digital age right it's finally

00:14:36.870 --> 00:14:39.409
the time where we can actually find ourselves

00:14:39.409 --> 00:14:43.580
looking for our tribe We're so much more connected.

00:14:43.799 --> 00:14:46.399
And you're asking yourself, am I posting to connect

00:14:46.399 --> 00:14:49.120
or am I posting for applause? But more often

00:14:49.120 --> 00:14:51.340
than not, we're also looking for other people

00:14:51.340 --> 00:14:53.779
that we can connect with. And this resonates

00:14:53.779 --> 00:14:55.799
with everybody's stories. And that's what I love

00:14:55.799 --> 00:14:59.159
about social media. So right now I'm working

00:14:59.159 --> 00:15:01.320
on a book for pregnant and postpartum women.

00:15:01.519 --> 00:15:04.740
And I think this is a community for whom social

00:15:04.740 --> 00:15:07.860
media has been a savior. Because when you are

00:15:07.860 --> 00:15:10.659
in the trenches of postpartum, three weeks out,

00:15:10.759 --> 00:15:13.080
feeding around the clock, you're up at 3 a .m.,

00:15:13.080 --> 00:15:15.220
you're up at 4 a .m., and you're just looking

00:15:15.220 --> 00:15:18.179
for someone who's in that world with you, and

00:15:18.179 --> 00:15:20.279
no one is in that world with you other than social

00:15:20.279 --> 00:15:22.539
media, right? Even your partner is sleeping away

00:15:22.539 --> 00:15:24.659
in the bed, right? Or even your mom friend that

00:15:24.659 --> 00:15:26.200
had a baby at the same time, she's down the street.

00:15:26.360 --> 00:15:28.580
It's like you are literally so alone in that

00:15:28.580 --> 00:15:31.120
moment, but if you can click on and connect with

00:15:31.120 --> 00:15:33.759
some women going through the exact same thing

00:15:33.759 --> 00:15:36.049
in that same moment, there is such value. value

00:15:36.049 --> 00:15:38.690
in that tribe and it's fully online right there's

00:15:38.690 --> 00:15:41.309
no you know there's no interaction in that moment

00:15:41.309 --> 00:15:44.110
at 3 a .m other than your baby but i think that

00:15:44.110 --> 00:15:46.929
that's where the power lies for women who have

00:15:46.929 --> 00:15:48.710
formerly not been exposed to those communities

00:15:48.710 --> 00:15:51.730
no 100 i so agree with you i just brought back

00:15:51.730 --> 00:15:55.009
memories right it's like either you're feeding

00:15:55.009 --> 00:15:59.610
them and you just Don't drop the baby. Yes. That's

00:15:59.610 --> 00:16:01.690
the first. Yes. Don't drop the baby. It's like

00:16:01.690 --> 00:16:03.009
pitch black, right? So you're just like, I hope

00:16:03.009 --> 00:16:05.850
it's like in the right place. Or you're just

00:16:05.850 --> 00:16:09.190
listening to this pump, you know, this monotonous

00:16:09.190 --> 00:16:11.370
pump and you just go, oh, when is this going

00:16:11.370 --> 00:16:14.429
to end? And it's like, don't fall over the chair.

00:16:14.490 --> 00:16:17.629
Yes. Oh my gosh. And there you are online and

00:16:17.629 --> 00:16:21.269
somewhere around the world, another lady is awake

00:16:21.269 --> 00:16:24.149
at the very same time. And it's magical. Yes.

00:16:24.210 --> 00:16:26.779
You just connect. and you know that you are not

00:16:26.779 --> 00:16:29.659
alone i think that's the key yeah just knowing

00:16:29.659 --> 00:16:32.419
that you are not alone knowing that somebody

00:16:32.419 --> 00:16:33.820
else is going through the same thing and that's

00:16:33.820 --> 00:16:37.480
your tribe and that's what i'm so in love with

00:16:37.480 --> 00:16:39.559
what you ladies are doing right here thank you

00:16:39.559 --> 00:16:41.759
because this is so important we're trying to

00:16:41.759 --> 00:16:44.059
connect the tribe girl all across this island

00:16:44.059 --> 00:16:46.980
but also worldwide and everybody feels the same

00:16:46.980 --> 00:16:49.340
thing correct me if i'm wrong but i think most

00:16:49.340 --> 00:16:51.830
of us are afraid to just voice it out Because

00:16:51.830 --> 00:16:54.110
we always baby our problems, right? It's like,

00:16:54.169 --> 00:16:56.250
no, this is my problem. You're not going to understand.

00:16:56.570 --> 00:16:58.549
And if you say that, then you're probably right.

00:16:59.330 --> 00:17:03.970
But if you allow yourselves to find that connection,

00:17:04.150 --> 00:17:07.869
and sometimes you have to be the first one to

00:17:07.869 --> 00:17:10.289
post. And that's what storytelling is, right?

00:17:10.789 --> 00:17:15.289
You post. And it's not about creating a personal

00:17:15.289 --> 00:17:17.869
brand. You're not branding yourself, but you're

00:17:17.869 --> 00:17:21.140
just finding a way to just let your story. Number

00:17:21.140 --> 00:17:23.740
one, help you find yourself. And number two,

00:17:23.799 --> 00:17:26.339
when this actually resonates with somebody else,

00:17:26.480 --> 00:17:30.380
that's number two. She could be in your same

00:17:30.380 --> 00:17:32.259
country. She could be halfway around the other

00:17:32.259 --> 00:17:35.700
side of the world. But at the end of the day,

00:17:35.839 --> 00:17:41.220
we are all human. Humans got human stories and

00:17:41.220 --> 00:17:44.180
we're probably all pretty much the same, regardless

00:17:44.180 --> 00:17:48.609
of race, creed, tribe. All right, big news. The

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00:18:28.980 --> 00:18:31.160
Clean is the new healthy and now it's also the

00:18:31.160 --> 00:18:34.420
new app. So when it comes to posting your story.

00:18:35.279 --> 00:18:37.819
Being authentic is a big thing. And I feel like

00:18:37.819 --> 00:18:40.500
people really do connect with people, other people

00:18:40.500 --> 00:18:42.799
who show authenticity. That's the right way of

00:18:42.799 --> 00:18:46.160
saying it. How do you show up authentically online?

00:18:46.480 --> 00:18:49.299
Because there's so many filters and everyone's

00:18:49.299 --> 00:18:52.579
posting with the most perfect skin and the biggest

00:18:52.579 --> 00:18:57.099
lips and the bluest eyes. How do you be yourself?

00:18:58.110 --> 00:19:01.390
When everyone else always seems prettier and

00:19:01.390 --> 00:19:04.029
taller and slimmer and more muscular than me.

00:19:04.130 --> 00:19:06.029
I better not post anything because it'll look

00:19:06.029 --> 00:19:08.829
like crap compared to XYZ. Oh gosh, that's a

00:19:08.829 --> 00:19:13.509
big one, isn't it? Because it's not about authenticity.

00:19:13.890 --> 00:19:18.450
I think authenticity is also a very difficult

00:19:18.450 --> 00:19:21.609
word to wrestle with. It's not about being raw.

00:19:22.089 --> 00:19:25.289
It's more about being rooted. It's more about...

00:19:25.400 --> 00:19:28.660
What are your intentions when you post? Are you

00:19:28.660 --> 00:19:31.079
trying to post to get an applause? Are you trying

00:19:31.079 --> 00:19:34.019
to post to get validation? Are you posting, well,

00:19:34.119 --> 00:19:38.039
maybe for a job, you know? I think more often

00:19:38.039 --> 00:19:40.420
than not, when we try to figure out what storytelling

00:19:40.420 --> 00:19:43.180
really is, is to help us understand who we are

00:19:43.180 --> 00:19:46.079
and how we're showing up doesn't have to be for

00:19:46.079 --> 00:19:49.559
somebody else. It can really just be about us

00:19:49.559 --> 00:19:52.059
trying to find ourselves. I have a newsletter.

00:19:52.829 --> 00:19:56.589
And to be very honest, I posted very, very early

00:19:56.589 --> 00:20:02.670
on, like maybe July last year, with the little

00:20:02.670 --> 00:20:07.710
intention of just trying to see if anybody else

00:20:07.710 --> 00:20:12.109
felt stuck just like me. And I'd learned how

00:20:12.109 --> 00:20:15.269
to get myself unstuck. I was learning how to

00:20:15.269 --> 00:20:18.890
reinvent myself. I was learning how to, oh gosh,

00:20:19.069 --> 00:20:24.579
find a way to... use my storytelling to help

00:20:24.579 --> 00:20:26.640
somebody else you know because I was thinking

00:20:26.640 --> 00:20:31.079
myself like I documented this for a reason you

00:20:31.079 --> 00:20:34.160
know it was maybe it was to help my son maybe

00:20:34.160 --> 00:20:37.160
it was to help my friends get out of a hard place

00:20:37.160 --> 00:20:40.140
and then I started to question myself is this

00:20:40.140 --> 00:20:43.839
really helpful and then I thought oh gosh that's

00:20:43.839 --> 00:20:47.619
very um egotistical for me to say You should

00:20:47.619 --> 00:20:49.799
do this or, you know, try this out. You know,

00:20:49.839 --> 00:20:52.759
that's just not a really nice way to get around.

00:20:52.920 --> 00:20:55.900
So what I tried to do earlier on was just to

00:20:55.900 --> 00:20:59.859
post for myself, first person and say, this is

00:20:59.859 --> 00:21:02.480
my story. This is what helped me. Let me know

00:21:02.480 --> 00:21:08.240
if this resonates with you. And it did in about,

00:21:08.380 --> 00:21:12.140
oh gosh, how long has it been? 10 months. I've

00:21:12.140 --> 00:21:15.880
got maybe 800 people organically. It started

00:21:15.880 --> 00:21:18.819
with mostly Singaporeans and then all of a sudden

00:21:18.819 --> 00:21:23.660
it's like 8 % Singapore. Wow. So it's not even

00:21:23.660 --> 00:21:27.319
Singapore, it's like Afghanistan, Malaysia, Indonesia,

00:21:27.779 --> 00:21:31.660
Philippines. And what I found was that maybe

00:21:31.660 --> 00:21:34.539
mindset isn't something that we are very open

00:21:34.539 --> 00:21:37.119
to talk about here, but everybody's just going

00:21:37.119 --> 00:21:40.039
through the same thing. So in posting to try

00:21:40.039 --> 00:21:43.420
to find out about myself. to try to write so

00:21:43.420 --> 00:21:47.279
that I can understand myself better. I started

00:21:47.279 --> 00:21:50.019
to see that a lot of people were DMing me and

00:21:50.019 --> 00:21:51.880
saying, hey, thanks for putting this out there.

00:21:52.000 --> 00:21:56.779
This really got to me and it helped me to understand

00:21:56.779 --> 00:21:59.740
my son better and so on and so forth. And then

00:21:59.740 --> 00:22:04.000
it got addictive, isn't it? And then I started

00:22:04.000 --> 00:22:06.680
to see that, yes, just like everybody else, it

00:22:06.680 --> 00:22:09.220
was always a two -way street. It's not just me

00:22:09.220 --> 00:22:11.299
posting just for myself, but that was part one.

00:22:11.480 --> 00:22:14.319
After that, it was also seeing how it can help

00:22:14.319 --> 00:22:17.099
other people. Knowing that I can reach somebody

00:22:17.099 --> 00:22:20.680
to make somebody feel something gave me a lot

00:22:20.680 --> 00:22:26.700
more encouragement that my life lessons now had

00:22:26.700 --> 00:22:31.200
a reason for living, right? For me going through

00:22:31.200 --> 00:22:34.339
all that pain. Now there was a reason that helped

00:22:34.339 --> 00:22:37.240
me understand myself better. And now I can show

00:22:37.240 --> 00:22:39.599
other people that they can do the same to get

00:22:39.599 --> 00:22:41.960
themselves unstuck. And I think that's quite

00:22:41.960 --> 00:22:44.759
important. I think everybody has a capacity to

00:22:44.759 --> 00:22:46.740
do that. But a lot of people don't believe that

00:22:46.740 --> 00:22:49.119
their voice actually matters. And just give it

00:22:49.119 --> 00:22:52.019
a shot. I say that. So I tend to get a few people

00:22:52.019 --> 00:22:54.500
asking me also about sort of Instagram and, you

00:22:54.500 --> 00:22:56.680
know, how do I put myself out there? And sometimes

00:22:56.680 --> 00:23:00.079
I just say, just do it. Because if someone finds

00:23:00.079 --> 00:23:03.079
you interesting, they'll watch. If they don't

00:23:03.079 --> 00:23:04.839
find it interesting, they'll swipe. No one's

00:23:04.839 --> 00:23:06.420
going to comment and say, oh, my God, that was

00:23:06.420 --> 00:23:08.839
so cringe or no one's going to. Or why didn't

00:23:08.839 --> 00:23:11.140
you put makeup on? Yeah. Like, you know, I think

00:23:11.140 --> 00:23:12.980
women especially, they worry so much about how

00:23:12.980 --> 00:23:15.259
they appear on social media. And it's like, no,

00:23:15.339 --> 00:23:17.759
no, it's just like, say your thing. People love

00:23:17.759 --> 00:23:20.019
it. Like they're not looking at that aspect of

00:23:20.019 --> 00:23:22.539
you the way you look at that aspect of you. Yeah.

00:23:22.700 --> 00:23:25.980
It's more about the message and whether that

00:23:25.980 --> 00:23:28.430
resonates with somebody. Yeah. Yeah. I totally,

00:23:28.470 --> 00:23:31.390
I totally hear that. And, and so one of the other

00:23:31.390 --> 00:23:34.349
things you tend to find is that when women approach

00:23:34.349 --> 00:23:36.549
their forties or get into their forties, they

00:23:36.549 --> 00:23:38.829
don't know who they are. They, you know, they've,

00:23:38.829 --> 00:23:41.269
they've gone their whole life being, you know,

00:23:41.269 --> 00:23:46.549
somebody's mom, a wife, employee. And then it's

00:23:46.549 --> 00:23:49.210
like, how do you find who you are? How do you

00:23:49.210 --> 00:23:51.849
write your story? If that is something that you

00:23:51.849 --> 00:23:55.269
now want to do, if you want to really truly become

00:23:55.269 --> 00:23:59.160
the person who you want to be how how would you

00:23:59.160 --> 00:24:02.460
go about doing that i think it's more about unlearning

00:24:02.460 --> 00:24:06.460
what we had to put on it's about decluttering

00:24:06.460 --> 00:24:09.240
all that noise that's surrounding us whether

00:24:09.240 --> 00:24:12.220
it's trying to be somebody else you know how

00:24:12.220 --> 00:24:14.900
they always say we don't have the luxury for

00:24:14.900 --> 00:24:18.900
purpose or passion you've got kids what passion

00:24:18.900 --> 00:24:21.059
are you talking about i don't think that it's

00:24:21.059 --> 00:24:22.660
supposed to be a luxury i think it's essential

00:24:22.660 --> 00:24:26.920
i think women especially so we need to be the

00:24:26.920 --> 00:24:29.759
pillars in our family we need to just understand

00:24:29.759 --> 00:24:33.160
who we are and live honestly because the children

00:24:33.160 --> 00:24:37.319
are watching yeah and if we actually just take

00:24:37.319 --> 00:24:42.099
a moment to pause and just go inside and just

00:24:42.099 --> 00:24:44.460
ask yourself what is actually more important

00:24:44.460 --> 00:24:49.220
because we all play different roles in our house

00:24:49.220 --> 00:24:53.180
right especially for the mom the working mom

00:24:53.869 --> 00:24:56.109
We have to play the different role. We have to

00:24:56.109 --> 00:25:00.250
be a bit of a balancing beam to, you know, the

00:25:00.250 --> 00:25:03.950
other half. And his role is very clear. He is

00:25:03.950 --> 00:25:07.349
there and he is there to just have a little bit

00:25:07.349 --> 00:25:11.450
more foundation, you know, be the achiever going

00:25:11.450 --> 00:25:15.250
out there to, I don't know, you know, put his

00:25:15.250 --> 00:25:19.430
flag in the sand and so on. And the kids are

00:25:19.430 --> 00:25:22.660
watching him too. But if that is all they're

00:25:22.660 --> 00:25:25.099
seeing from both parents, then we've got a bit

00:25:25.099 --> 00:25:28.240
of a problem because then we are also then creating

00:25:28.240 --> 00:25:31.000
what we're trying to avoid, which is productivity

00:25:31.000 --> 00:25:33.779
being self -worth. But I don't think that that's

00:25:33.779 --> 00:25:35.839
the end of the story because if you start to

00:25:35.839 --> 00:25:38.579
think about it, our identities shouldn't be wrapped

00:25:38.579 --> 00:25:40.779
up in what we do. It should be wrapped up in

00:25:40.779 --> 00:25:43.619
what we believe. I think this whole thing about

00:25:43.619 --> 00:25:48.460
this AI trying to help us be... more productive

00:25:48.460 --> 00:25:51.220
is to give us a bit more space so that we can

00:25:51.220 --> 00:25:54.220
be there for our families so that we can actually

00:25:54.220 --> 00:25:57.460
find ourselves now how do we find ourselves after

00:25:57.460 --> 00:26:02.640
all this noise maybe it's not supposed to be

00:26:02.640 --> 00:26:05.059
a destination maybe it's not about arriving maybe

00:26:05.059 --> 00:26:09.799
it is the direction i don't think that i can

00:26:09.799 --> 00:26:13.099
sit here and tell you honestly that I enjoyed

00:26:13.099 --> 00:26:16.160
all the calamities or all the pain and suffering

00:26:16.160 --> 00:26:18.279
that I had in my life. No, I don't think it's

00:26:18.279 --> 00:26:20.619
about that. But after a while, I realized that

00:26:20.619 --> 00:26:24.859
asking why does this keep happening to me was

00:26:24.859 --> 00:26:27.519
not doing me any favors. It was keeping me stuck.

00:26:27.740 --> 00:26:31.319
I felt like I was playing somebody else's script,

00:26:31.420 --> 00:26:34.380
like trying to reinvent myself in somebody else's

00:26:34.380 --> 00:26:38.640
game. And the minute I said, well... I hear this

00:26:38.640 --> 00:26:41.799
all the time. Life is not happening to me. Life

00:26:41.799 --> 00:26:45.019
is happening for me. Yes, it got me unstuck,

00:26:45.039 --> 00:26:48.079
right? And I started looking at things a little

00:26:48.079 --> 00:26:51.279
bit differently. But after a while, when you

00:26:51.279 --> 00:26:53.180
think, what about taking it a little bit further?

00:26:54.099 --> 00:26:58.319
What about if life is happening through me? What

00:26:58.319 --> 00:27:02.779
does that mean? What does it mean? So if life

00:27:02.779 --> 00:27:05.619
is happening through me, it means that I have

00:27:05.619 --> 00:27:09.130
more control. The steering wheel is back in my

00:27:09.130 --> 00:27:12.410
hands. Life is happening to me creates a lot

00:27:12.410 --> 00:27:15.430
of fear. So I'm there stepping on the accelerator

00:27:15.430 --> 00:27:18.170
and the brake at the same time. I'm going to

00:27:18.170 --> 00:27:22.230
wear out my engine very fast, right? Life is

00:27:22.230 --> 00:27:26.309
happening for me. Helps me to then clarify, get

00:27:26.309 --> 00:27:29.910
settled and go like, okay, all this stuff that

00:27:29.910 --> 00:27:34.410
is wrecking my focus right now, I'm sure I'm

00:27:34.410 --> 00:27:36.779
supposed to learn something for it, right? that

00:27:36.779 --> 00:27:39.420
helps me a little bit. But when you think that

00:27:39.420 --> 00:27:42.240
life is happening through you, you have the choice.

00:27:42.400 --> 00:27:45.720
You then are able to take responsibility for

00:27:45.720 --> 00:27:48.400
what you're going to choose. And decisions are

00:27:48.400 --> 00:27:51.259
so important. So all of a sudden, you have this

00:27:51.259 --> 00:27:54.000
decision to make. If this is happening through

00:27:54.000 --> 00:27:58.299
me, what does this pain actually mean? I think

00:27:58.299 --> 00:28:02.440
it's also about how the pain then doesn't define

00:28:02.440 --> 00:28:07.110
you or confine you. It starts to become like

00:28:07.110 --> 00:28:09.910
road signs. I mean, we're using driving analogies.

00:28:09.910 --> 00:28:11.730
Yeah, I like it. I'm in the car. Let's go. And

00:28:11.730 --> 00:28:13.730
if you're seeing the pain points and the pain

00:28:13.730 --> 00:28:15.589
signs and all these things are suffering, then

00:28:15.589 --> 00:28:18.150
you're just going to be like, oh, again. And

00:28:18.150 --> 00:28:20.349
you're going to be in a loop because you're not

00:28:20.349 --> 00:28:22.609
going to see the signs. But if you see the signs

00:28:22.609 --> 00:28:25.170
and signals, then it's like, okay, this pain

00:28:25.170 --> 00:28:28.289
is what I do not want. I don't want to live this

00:28:28.289 --> 00:28:33.930
again. And if you start to... speak of it, you

00:28:33.930 --> 00:28:35.990
get a little bit more distance from yourself

00:28:35.990 --> 00:28:39.470
and the pain. You name it and then all of a sudden

00:28:39.470 --> 00:28:41.250
you're even more distant. It's now a character

00:28:41.250 --> 00:28:44.309
in your story. Once you see that this is happening

00:28:44.309 --> 00:28:47.609
again and again, you can identify it as a trigger

00:28:47.609 --> 00:28:52.029
point. Once you have done so, then this trigger

00:28:52.029 --> 00:28:54.049
point is going to be telling you two things.

00:28:54.569 --> 00:28:57.029
This is not where I want to be and now I can

00:28:57.029 --> 00:29:00.410
imagine where I do want to be. So then you split.

00:29:01.980 --> 00:29:04.960
Have a choice. Do you want to go down the same

00:29:04.960 --> 00:29:07.480
road and do the loop again? Just stay in the

00:29:07.480 --> 00:29:10.579
roundabout. Or you want to make different decisions

00:29:10.579 --> 00:29:15.259
and get into a place of control. More often than

00:29:15.259 --> 00:29:17.460
not, I think we all want to go for the control,

00:29:17.579 --> 00:29:20.059
right? And once you start seeing that you can

00:29:20.059 --> 00:29:22.559
have this ownership of making these different

00:29:22.559 --> 00:29:25.660
decisions, you're no longer a victim anymore.

00:29:25.799 --> 00:29:27.960
And you're no longer living in fear. And you

00:29:27.960 --> 00:29:30.339
have separated yourself so far that every time

00:29:30.339 --> 00:29:33.279
you start to see, this trigger come up again,

00:29:33.400 --> 00:29:37.180
then all of a sudden it's just like, oh, I've

00:29:37.180 --> 00:29:41.059
been here before. Me too. What can I do differently

00:29:41.059 --> 00:29:44.319
this time? And every time you have another experience

00:29:44.319 --> 00:29:48.640
from that moment on, you can see it as road signs

00:29:48.640 --> 00:29:52.019
that will lead you further away from the life

00:29:52.019 --> 00:29:54.720
that you actually want to live or bring you closer.

00:29:54.920 --> 00:29:58.740
I think that's really beautiful because we want

00:29:58.740 --> 00:30:01.670
control. And I think that's so important, isn't

00:30:01.670 --> 00:30:03.049
it? Because I think a lot of people get stuck

00:30:03.049 --> 00:30:07.430
in this victim mindset of, oh, why does this

00:30:07.430 --> 00:30:10.430
always happen to me? This is my life. I've just

00:30:10.430 --> 00:30:13.369
got to deal with it. But you're right. If you

00:30:13.369 --> 00:30:17.089
can look at what the issue is, you can then make

00:30:17.089 --> 00:30:20.569
a choice of having a different path, going down

00:30:20.569 --> 00:30:23.650
a different road. Because it's easier. It's easier

00:30:23.650 --> 00:30:28.500
to be. in pain it's easier to just say i am this

00:30:28.500 --> 00:30:30.619
is always happening to me i have no control you

00:30:30.619 --> 00:30:32.559
know this is my society this is the place that

00:30:32.559 --> 00:30:35.140
i grew up in and you relinquish your control

00:30:35.140 --> 00:30:38.619
but if you just even take responsibility for

00:30:38.619 --> 00:30:41.779
that moment and if this i'm not saying go and

00:30:41.779 --> 00:30:44.640
quit your job by the way you know like we have

00:30:44.640 --> 00:30:47.160
responsibilities but don't think that you didn't

00:30:47.160 --> 00:30:50.299
make that decision if you do it on purpose and

00:30:50.299 --> 00:30:52.680
you make the choice that this is this is what

00:30:52.680 --> 00:30:56.509
i chose to do It might just be for a moment.

00:30:56.829 --> 00:30:59.549
It could be for a season. It could be for a lifetime.

00:30:59.670 --> 00:31:02.150
But I choose this because I know what my values

00:31:02.150 --> 00:31:04.829
are and I know what I'm sacrificing for this.

00:31:04.849 --> 00:31:07.930
And it's okay. Then all of a sudden, you're not

00:31:07.930 --> 00:31:10.369
a victim anymore. I came across an amazing quote

00:31:10.369 --> 00:31:11.930
over the weekend. I posted it and I was like,

00:31:11.970 --> 00:31:13.549
I posted with like the brain explosion emoji

00:31:13.549 --> 00:31:16.200
because it really hit me. And it was like, Everything

00:31:16.200 --> 00:31:19.259
gets easier with practice. So be careful what

00:31:19.259 --> 00:31:22.059
you practice. Exactly. So if you practice being

00:31:22.059 --> 00:31:24.220
a victim and you practice falling into the same

00:31:24.220 --> 00:31:27.619
traps every fucking time, guess what? That's

00:31:27.619 --> 00:31:29.559
going to be your easy path. And it's very unfortunate

00:31:29.559 --> 00:31:32.799
for you. That is so good. That is so good. Right?

00:31:32.799 --> 00:31:35.180
I know. Brain exposure emoji definitely warranted

00:31:35.180 --> 00:31:37.470
there. I can't attribute the quote. I'm not sure

00:31:37.470 --> 00:31:40.529
who was, but the internet gave me that. Yeah,

00:31:40.529 --> 00:31:43.009
you see, it helps you just realize sometimes

00:31:43.009 --> 00:31:46.809
we know this. Sometimes it's just something that

00:31:46.809 --> 00:31:49.369
we understand internally, but we just don't want

00:31:49.369 --> 00:31:52.009
to admit it. And we don't want to be in the gray

00:31:52.009 --> 00:31:55.210
list by saying something naughty. And everybody's

00:31:55.210 --> 00:31:57.670
going to be like, who do you think you are? A

00:31:57.670 --> 00:32:00.750
lot of us want somebody to speak out some truth

00:32:00.750 --> 00:32:04.220
that... we feel deep inside and hello ladies

00:32:04.220 --> 00:32:09.779
you guys are doing that damn right oh yeah do

00:32:09.779 --> 00:32:13.400
you think personal storytelling is primarily

00:32:13.400 --> 00:32:17.599
just for people starting out businesses or can

00:32:17.599 --> 00:32:20.400
it even work for someone who you know has got

00:32:20.400 --> 00:32:24.640
nothing to sell nothing to nothing to to to prove

00:32:24.640 --> 00:32:27.700
like how does that all work Do you need a brand?

00:32:27.799 --> 00:32:30.660
Do you need to be a brand? Do you feel like that's

00:32:30.660 --> 00:32:32.180
the thing that people are moving towards now?

00:32:32.480 --> 00:32:36.259
No, you don't need a brand to have personal storytelling.

00:32:36.579 --> 00:32:39.019
What is personal branding? Personal branding

00:32:39.019 --> 00:32:42.440
is pretty much PR. And we start to think about

00:32:42.440 --> 00:32:45.839
it that way. What is storytelling? Storytelling

00:32:45.839 --> 00:32:51.579
is how we, well, it's the long approach of us

00:32:51.579 --> 00:32:54.720
trying to figure out who we are. As a human,

00:32:54.880 --> 00:32:58.789
as a person. or as a community now storytelling

00:32:58.789 --> 00:33:01.210
is a way of helping to reach people because we

00:33:01.210 --> 00:33:03.829
don't like to think in point form of course it

00:33:03.829 --> 00:33:08.029
helps us to i like to joke right the point form

00:33:08.029 --> 00:33:13.250
and the logic it's there the emotions it what

00:33:13.250 --> 00:33:16.450
that's what gets us moving that's what makes

00:33:16.450 --> 00:33:21.099
us make decisions the logic It's what we use

00:33:21.099 --> 00:33:23.700
to explain why we use the credit card in the

00:33:23.700 --> 00:33:26.420
first place. But when you start to think about

00:33:26.420 --> 00:33:30.539
it, I think personal branding is for everyone.

00:33:30.920 --> 00:33:36.559
Right now, especially with AI, everybody has

00:33:36.559 --> 00:33:40.420
something to say. But because of AI, everybody

00:33:40.420 --> 00:33:44.579
looks the same. And it's terrible because then

00:33:44.579 --> 00:33:48.890
if you wanted to then just... come out and be

00:33:48.890 --> 00:33:51.710
authentic and actually say what counts and what

00:33:51.710 --> 00:33:54.289
you think is going to help people because you're

00:33:54.289 --> 00:33:58.069
finally being true, you're going to stand out

00:33:58.069 --> 00:34:01.190
and it's not going to take much effort. All you

00:34:01.190 --> 00:34:05.950
have to do is to own your story, to understand

00:34:05.950 --> 00:34:08.610
where you're coming from and to be brave enough

00:34:08.610 --> 00:34:13.349
to just put it out there. It doesn't have to

00:34:13.349 --> 00:34:17.610
be raw, but it has to be rooted. authentic, truthful,

00:34:17.829 --> 00:34:21.730
because that's going to be exactly the opposite

00:34:21.730 --> 00:34:24.230
of what everybody else is going to be doing with

00:34:24.230 --> 00:34:27.909
the AI comments, you know, the auto AI comments.

00:34:28.550 --> 00:34:30.449
And everybody else is going to sound the same,

00:34:30.489 --> 00:34:32.969
but if you have something beautiful to say and

00:34:32.969 --> 00:34:35.929
you can be really authentic, then your story

00:34:35.929 --> 00:34:40.579
is going to stand out. I think that's really

00:34:40.579 --> 00:34:42.420
important. Let me counterpoint that, though.

00:34:42.460 --> 00:34:44.300
Right. So I'm thinking of a business perspective

00:34:44.300 --> 00:34:47.139
specifically. Right. So it's like the algorithms,

00:34:47.199 --> 00:34:49.900
you know, the views, the eyeballs, they reward.

00:34:50.849 --> 00:34:53.650
You looking more like the others. Right. So it's

00:34:53.650 --> 00:34:56.429
like if you use the same trending audio, you're

00:34:56.429 --> 00:34:58.329
going to get more eyeballs. If you hop on that

00:34:58.329 --> 00:35:00.429
little Instagram trend of I met my former self

00:35:00.429 --> 00:35:02.590
today, you're going to get more looks. So it's

00:35:02.590 --> 00:35:05.329
like how do we as business owners dissociate

00:35:05.329 --> 00:35:07.449
from what we're being rewarded with financially

00:35:07.449 --> 00:35:11.110
or, you know, PR wise with what is authentic

00:35:11.110 --> 00:35:13.710
to our stories? Well, I think it's about being

00:35:13.710 --> 00:35:16.949
honest. And at the end of the day, are you really

00:35:16.949 --> 00:35:19.949
posting to connect or are you posting for applause?

00:35:20.510 --> 00:35:23.610
And it's really very simple. If you're posting

00:35:23.610 --> 00:35:26.550
and you're getting so much attention from algorithm,

00:35:26.989 --> 00:35:30.550
you got to start wondering whether these people

00:35:30.550 --> 00:35:34.769
are really there to hear what you have to say,

00:35:34.849 --> 00:35:38.030
or is it just the algorithm helping you to boost

00:35:38.030 --> 00:35:41.010
that post? I don't think that I'm doing really

00:35:41.010 --> 00:35:44.449
well online. I like to joke that I used to be.

00:35:45.230 --> 00:35:49.670
More IRL, you know, in real life. And right now

00:35:49.670 --> 00:35:52.389
it is about trying to figure out and do a little

00:35:52.389 --> 00:35:54.909
bit of experimentation online. If you're going

00:35:54.909 --> 00:35:57.090
to be allowing yourself to sound like everybody

00:35:57.090 --> 00:36:01.289
else, there is no differentiation. How is your

00:36:01.289 --> 00:36:03.329
audience then going to pick and choose from you?

00:36:03.869 --> 00:36:07.269
It would be a price battle if you have something

00:36:07.269 --> 00:36:11.960
to sell. But more than ever right now. AI is

00:36:11.960 --> 00:36:15.059
helping us with our CVs. It's helping us with

00:36:15.059 --> 00:36:18.539
our copy. It's helping us with our funnels. So

00:36:18.539 --> 00:36:20.960
when you start to think about it, everybody else

00:36:20.960 --> 00:36:23.320
is going to have the same thing, the same look,

00:36:23.340 --> 00:36:26.900
the same voice. Then how are you going to stand

00:36:26.900 --> 00:36:31.059
out? I think the market is big enough. And I

00:36:31.059 --> 00:36:34.199
think that if we wanted to really touch people

00:36:34.199 --> 00:36:36.599
and connect with people, it's not just about

00:36:36.599 --> 00:36:39.650
getting the looks and the views. It's not about

00:36:39.650 --> 00:36:42.809
going viral to stand out. It's more about being

00:36:42.809 --> 00:36:45.849
able to connect truthfully with people. Because

00:36:45.849 --> 00:36:50.530
in the age of AI, well, IP is gone. Everything

00:36:50.530 --> 00:36:53.369
that you put online, your LLM is going to pick

00:36:53.369 --> 00:36:55.309
it up. Somebody on the other side of the world

00:36:55.309 --> 00:36:58.389
is going to be able to have your voice. But what

00:36:58.389 --> 00:37:00.969
are you going to stand out with is those connections.

00:37:02.710 --> 00:37:04.909
Authenticity, human connection, imagination,

00:37:05.329 --> 00:37:09.070
creativity. Those are the things that AI cannot

00:37:09.070 --> 00:37:11.849
replicate. That's what's going to make you human.

00:37:12.869 --> 00:37:16.269
It's going to be so simple to stand out. All

00:37:16.269 --> 00:37:19.269
you have to be is human. Allow yourself to be

00:37:19.269 --> 00:37:22.429
human. But that's not so simple anymore. And

00:37:22.429 --> 00:37:25.070
I do think AI really illuminates the difference

00:37:25.070 --> 00:37:27.610
between someone who's just regurgitating something

00:37:27.610 --> 00:37:29.710
that they heard online and someone who has a

00:37:29.710 --> 00:37:32.690
unique and different thought. I do think the

00:37:32.690 --> 00:37:36.119
competence gap... in users of ai is becoming

00:37:36.119 --> 00:37:39.219
increasingly obvious like it's so funny you know

00:37:39.219 --> 00:37:40.920
obviously us running the podcast we get a lot

00:37:40.920 --> 00:37:44.079
of guest pitches if you look at them you can

00:37:44.079 --> 00:37:46.260
tell they were ai generated meaning like they

00:37:46.260 --> 00:37:48.360
somebody said tell me how to write a pitch for

00:37:48.360 --> 00:37:50.099
a podcast and it's like i enjoyed your recent

00:37:50.099 --> 00:37:54.219
episode on x i also have an idea about x i would

00:37:54.219 --> 00:37:56.199
like to come on your thing and it's like How

00:37:56.199 --> 00:37:59.239
will I want to have you as a guest when I literally

00:37:59.239 --> 00:38:01.119
know that you couldn't even come up with a pitch

00:38:01.119 --> 00:38:04.900
for us that was unique? So I think it's illustrating

00:38:04.900 --> 00:38:07.059
competence gaps already. It's funny that you

00:38:07.059 --> 00:38:10.039
said that because I just had a little conversation

00:38:10.039 --> 00:38:14.730
with this, I think, director from SIT. And we

00:38:14.730 --> 00:38:18.710
were discussing how we could try to weave a little

00:38:18.710 --> 00:38:22.369
bit of how to use AI to build your stories so

00:38:22.369 --> 00:38:25.110
that you're not using your AI to be your stories.

00:38:25.309 --> 00:38:30.210
Yes, exactly. Research, for brainstorming. Great

00:38:30.210 --> 00:38:31.630
for all those things, by the way. Yes, perfect.

00:38:32.030 --> 00:38:36.130
I mean, I am 100 % for AI. I do think that it

00:38:36.130 --> 00:38:39.070
is a very good tutor and a very good buddy. Great

00:38:39.070 --> 00:38:42.750
assistant as well. Yeah, perfect assistant, right?

00:38:43.559 --> 00:38:46.780
Just not the one to hand in your final piece

00:38:46.780 --> 00:38:49.900
of product. Not a good employee. Yeah. They're

00:38:49.900 --> 00:38:53.019
not going to be able to tell you that this idea

00:38:53.019 --> 00:38:55.719
is shit. A hundred people have done it before.

00:38:56.139 --> 00:38:57.980
They're going to be like, oh, that's a great

00:38:57.980 --> 00:39:02.199
idea. It's the best intern. Good hype man. Always.

00:39:02.219 --> 00:39:05.380
Yes. Oh, yeah. The funny thing was that he told

00:39:05.380 --> 00:39:08.539
me this. He said one of the things that they

00:39:08.539 --> 00:39:11.760
tried to do with one of the classes was use AI.

00:39:13.130 --> 00:39:16.829
put in the brief the students were so happy they're

00:39:16.829 --> 00:39:18.949
like yes let's do it let's do it and then they

00:39:18.949 --> 00:39:22.969
all started to do their own interpretation when

00:39:22.969 --> 00:39:24.710
it was time to get up to present to the class

00:39:24.710 --> 00:39:27.909
they thought that they had smash hot ideas the

00:39:27.909 --> 00:39:30.369
concept was snazzy and everything it's like oh

00:39:30.369 --> 00:39:32.949
they got it complete in just a matter of hours

00:39:32.949 --> 00:39:35.230
guess what they all had the same everybody's

00:39:35.230 --> 00:39:39.230
just the same yeah yeah it was hilarious all

00:39:39.230 --> 00:39:41.739
of them go like I don't think I want to present

00:39:41.739 --> 00:39:44.960
after this. Yeah. It's like, why, why, why? Yes,

00:39:45.139 --> 00:39:48.340
exactly. Yep. I think that that really helps

00:39:48.340 --> 00:39:50.780
you to understand it when they realize it themselves.

00:39:51.059 --> 00:39:54.199
Yeah. Going through the process, you tell them

00:39:54.199 --> 00:39:56.539
they're not going to listen. Yeah. Which teenager

00:39:56.539 --> 00:40:00.099
has ever listened? They have to hit the head

00:40:00.099 --> 00:40:03.079
on the ground by themselves and see it for themselves

00:40:03.079 --> 00:40:05.340
before they're going to be able to go like, oh,

00:40:05.380 --> 00:40:07.039
okay, it looks like I got to put in a little

00:40:07.039 --> 00:40:10.519
bit of work. It helps you to Get past that first.

00:40:10.619 --> 00:40:14.059
I'm not saying no. So I was actually helping

00:40:14.059 --> 00:40:18.820
out this girl. And she was one of my speech clients.

00:40:19.800 --> 00:40:25.780
Good friend. But very timid. Really meek. One

00:40:25.780 --> 00:40:28.039
of the things that AI did for her was that she

00:40:28.039 --> 00:40:32.159
would key in all her brain juice, right? And

00:40:32.159 --> 00:40:35.699
she's brilliant. But she doesn't allow herself

00:40:35.699 --> 00:40:39.710
to speak. That was the first round. It helped

00:40:39.710 --> 00:40:43.250
her to just get good enough because she's not

00:40:43.250 --> 00:40:45.369
really English speaking. A lot of Singaporeans

00:40:45.369 --> 00:40:48.070
aren't. We don't all speak English at home, right?

00:40:48.869 --> 00:40:51.969
So there was this confidence gap. She's brilliant.

00:40:52.150 --> 00:40:54.650
She just needed to see it. But she couldn't get

00:40:54.650 --> 00:40:57.510
over that first hurdle of fear. Many of us can't,

00:40:57.510 --> 00:41:00.269
right? When she used AI and she saw that, oh,

00:41:00.289 --> 00:41:03.170
hey, you know what? I could have come up with

00:41:03.170 --> 00:41:05.889
something quite similar. Maybe even better. But

00:41:05.889 --> 00:41:08.449
if this AI tells me that this is proper English,

00:41:08.920 --> 00:41:11.559
I'm going to go with it. She hears herself speak.

00:41:11.900 --> 00:41:13.920
It is her information. She keyed it in, right?

00:41:14.219 --> 00:41:17.800
That gave her enough confidence to go back, look

00:41:17.800 --> 00:41:20.340
at herself and go, you know what? I think I can

00:41:20.340 --> 00:41:23.659
do better than this. She went on and on and on.

00:41:24.699 --> 00:41:26.400
Sometimes you just need a little bit of push.

00:41:26.619 --> 00:41:29.539
And AI is a nice companion to do that for us.

00:41:29.639 --> 00:41:32.340
So it's not like it's bad, you know, but it's

00:41:32.340 --> 00:41:35.159
a tool. And as a tool, we've got to let that

00:41:35.159 --> 00:41:37.780
tool work for us and not work for the tool. Yeah,

00:41:37.800 --> 00:41:41.380
exactly right. You've mentioned connection sort

00:41:41.380 --> 00:41:44.539
of when it comes to sort of being digitally out

00:41:44.539 --> 00:41:47.079
there. But do you find that, you know, we're

00:41:47.079 --> 00:41:49.679
constantly posting and reviewing and replying

00:41:49.679 --> 00:41:52.119
to comments and there's always just so much going

00:41:52.119 --> 00:41:54.139
on digitally. Do you actually think that this

00:41:54.139 --> 00:41:58.380
might be causing a point of disconnection and

00:41:58.380 --> 00:42:01.860
maybe sort of digital exhaustion? Yeah, like

00:42:01.860 --> 00:42:04.099
trying to connect, right? Trying to reply to

00:42:04.099 --> 00:42:06.239
everything and trying to start an engagement,

00:42:06.300 --> 00:42:08.679
you know, of some sort. It's confirmed, 100%.

00:42:08.679 --> 00:42:13.179
I think that we have looked at our brands and

00:42:13.179 --> 00:42:17.019
our posts like a reflex. And curation is now

00:42:17.019 --> 00:42:20.099
the thing that we do even when we want to post

00:42:20.099 --> 00:42:23.239
something simple or, you know, you stop yourself

00:42:23.239 --> 00:42:25.840
in mid -sentence when you're trying to do a comment.

00:42:27.000 --> 00:42:30.340
And I think that this is also the fear of what

00:42:30.340 --> 00:42:32.559
are we going to make ourselves look like? How

00:42:32.559 --> 00:42:34.019
are we going to appear? How are we going to show

00:42:34.019 --> 00:42:39.199
up? But it doesn't have to be this way. I don't

00:42:39.199 --> 00:42:44.539
think it's all about trying to shout to get viral

00:42:44.539 --> 00:42:47.280
and trying to get permission by being out there

00:42:47.280 --> 00:42:50.980
in one way or the other. I think it comes back

00:42:50.980 --> 00:42:54.780
to your point about authenticity. I think when

00:42:54.780 --> 00:42:57.380
we try to post, and we're trying to create ourselves,

00:42:57.719 --> 00:43:01.179
it's also about belonging. It's about coming

00:43:01.179 --> 00:43:04.860
back to being a part of our communities and how

00:43:04.860 --> 00:43:08.800
we can actually connect. Exhaustion is also a

00:43:08.800 --> 00:43:12.119
choice, right? At the end of the day, when we

00:43:12.119 --> 00:43:14.019
start to think about how we're going to come

00:43:14.019 --> 00:43:17.500
across and how we put so much pressure on ourselves

00:43:17.500 --> 00:43:19.940
to be perfect, I think we're tying that self

00:43:19.940 --> 00:43:23.019
-worth back to... being recognized again that's

00:43:23.019 --> 00:43:27.079
tiring it's not just about being online i think

00:43:27.079 --> 00:43:30.019
this is an online and offline issue yeah and

00:43:30.019 --> 00:43:34.539
if we then can practice this stillness this slowing

00:43:34.539 --> 00:43:37.940
down posting to connect right posting to find

00:43:37.940 --> 00:43:39.739
ourselves early on we're talking about like how

00:43:39.739 --> 00:43:43.179
we can actually find our direction not as a destination

00:43:43.179 --> 00:43:46.639
but as a direction and if we can find that way

00:43:46.639 --> 00:43:51.940
that we can just reconnect with our purpose Nobody

00:43:51.940 --> 00:43:56.940
knows their purpose. No. Show me somebody that

00:43:56.940 --> 00:44:00.300
says that that is their purpose and they know

00:44:00.300 --> 00:44:02.719
their purpose from day one. And I'll tell you,

00:44:02.820 --> 00:44:05.699
well, maybe they're lying to themselves because

00:44:05.699 --> 00:44:08.340
they just need to validate all that hard work

00:44:08.340 --> 00:44:10.659
that they put into it. We're not supposed to

00:44:10.659 --> 00:44:13.000
know our purpose. And even if we do know our

00:44:13.000 --> 00:44:15.880
purpose for today, it could be a season, right?

00:44:16.480 --> 00:44:19.219
We're supposed to keep working ourselves. The

00:44:19.219 --> 00:44:21.320
minute we stop growing is the minute that we're

00:44:21.320 --> 00:44:24.599
dying. Because every day that we're alive, we're

00:44:24.599 --> 00:44:27.639
supposed to be fine -tuning and aligning ourselves

00:44:27.639 --> 00:44:33.119
to our purpose. That takes work. But it doesn't

00:44:33.119 --> 00:44:36.940
need to be exhausting. It can be fun. It doesn't

00:44:36.940 --> 00:44:40.340
need to be life and death. It doesn't need to

00:44:40.340 --> 00:44:46.010
be so heavy. It can be joyous. The process of

00:44:46.010 --> 00:44:48.489
trying to find out who we are and trying to align

00:44:48.489 --> 00:44:51.130
ourselves bit by bit, experience by experience,

00:44:51.349 --> 00:44:56.170
pain and celebration. It just helps us to filter

00:44:56.170 --> 00:44:59.170
our way forward and get closer to our purpose.

00:44:59.449 --> 00:45:02.530
How do we find out what we are and what that

00:45:02.530 --> 00:45:07.010
purpose is really comes down to joy. Passion

00:45:07.010 --> 00:45:10.309
is another word for finding joy in what we want

00:45:10.309 --> 00:45:12.929
to do. So it doesn't have to be exhausting. It

00:45:12.929 --> 00:45:17.389
just has to be. honest, rooted with our values,

00:45:17.449 --> 00:45:19.769
with what we want to do, with what we really

00:45:19.769 --> 00:45:23.750
love and who we want to do things with. And then

00:45:23.750 --> 00:45:25.449
it's not going to be exhausting. It's going to

00:45:25.449 --> 00:45:27.650
be an adventure. I love thinking of it in that

00:45:27.650 --> 00:45:30.750
way because I feel like, you know, if you get

00:45:30.750 --> 00:45:33.429
fixed on one thing, and I'm going to put it out

00:45:33.429 --> 00:45:34.989
there, I'm just going to say like Brian Johnson,

00:45:35.090 --> 00:45:37.650
his empathy thinks is... He wants to live longer.

00:45:37.969 --> 00:45:43.369
Live forever. But he's so deep rooted into what

00:45:43.369 --> 00:45:46.230
he's doing. I feel like he's it's become like

00:45:46.230 --> 00:45:49.090
this sort of narrow viewpoint that he's not looking

00:45:49.090 --> 00:45:51.369
at the bigger picture. There are other elements

00:45:51.369 --> 00:45:54.250
and stuff that he could be doing. For example,

00:45:54.329 --> 00:45:57.550
yes, you know, going to bed at three. You know,

00:45:58.469 --> 00:46:00.610
it might be brilliant for his sleep, but he's

00:46:00.610 --> 00:46:03.130
missing out on a lot of other stuff, you know.

00:46:03.130 --> 00:46:05.949
So true. I mean, but, you know, it could be.

00:46:06.400 --> 00:46:10.440
That is right for him, right? That could be his

00:46:10.440 --> 00:46:12.659
life path. That could be his thing, right? And

00:46:12.659 --> 00:46:16.320
if he's built so much around his life, around

00:46:16.320 --> 00:46:19.260
this one vision point, this one mission point,

00:46:19.380 --> 00:46:22.639
then that would be right for him. Whatever he

00:46:22.639 --> 00:46:25.340
believes is true, is true. But it doesn't have

00:46:25.340 --> 00:46:26.940
to be right for us. And I think that's the point

00:46:26.940 --> 00:46:29.460
of today's topic, right? It's all about what

00:46:29.460 --> 00:46:31.809
is right for you. What's your intention? and

00:46:31.809 --> 00:46:33.710
you don't have to fit into other people's script

00:46:33.710 --> 00:46:36.030
yeah your script has to be unique because you

00:46:36.030 --> 00:46:38.130
are unique you're right i think everything is

00:46:38.130 --> 00:46:40.809
always personalized it's it's not you know one

00:46:40.809 --> 00:46:42.750
size fits all it's not one diet for everyone

00:46:42.750 --> 00:46:45.130
it's not one exercise plan for everyone it's

00:46:45.130 --> 00:46:48.090
not one story for everyone every yeah because

00:46:48.460 --> 00:46:50.599
You're right. Otherwise, everyone would just

00:46:50.599 --> 00:46:53.400
be the same and we'll all be robots. I remember

00:46:53.400 --> 00:46:56.139
I had an audit of my Instagram account once when

00:46:56.139 --> 00:46:58.159
I was starting off kind of rebranding. And the

00:46:58.159 --> 00:47:00.260
auditor was like, hey, you just got to drop all

00:47:00.260 --> 00:47:01.719
the family stuff. Like she's like, you know,

00:47:01.780 --> 00:47:03.320
you're a coach. Like it should just be fitness,

00:47:03.440 --> 00:47:05.760
metabolism, nutrition. Like that's it. And I

00:47:05.760 --> 00:47:08.119
was like, I really can't. And I told her, I said,

00:47:08.179 --> 00:47:09.619
I really she's got to put that on a separate

00:47:09.619 --> 00:47:11.059
account, make it a private account. I was like,

00:47:11.059 --> 00:47:12.539
I hear you. And I know that there's moms that

00:47:12.539 --> 00:47:15.360
do that. But I was like, that is absolutely.

00:47:15.980 --> 00:47:18.440
inauthentic to my story and you know my business

00:47:18.440 --> 00:47:21.440
i run with my husband our kids are always there

00:47:21.440 --> 00:47:23.800
it's like for us to just pretend like that's

00:47:23.800 --> 00:47:26.360
not a part of our life is super weird to me and

00:47:26.360 --> 00:47:29.980
that is so 2d we want 3d people we want authentic

00:47:29.980 --> 00:47:32.039
people we want somebody that we can relate to

00:47:32.039 --> 00:47:35.460
that we know is not having this perfect body

00:47:35.460 --> 00:47:38.559
and this perfect life and perfect structured

00:47:38.559 --> 00:47:41.579
schedule because we are not going to be able

00:47:41.579 --> 00:47:44.059
to live up to that. And if I see you in this

00:47:44.059 --> 00:47:47.400
messy middle, I'm going to be like, I can be

00:47:47.400 --> 00:47:50.519
like her too. I too could have a totally messy

00:47:50.519 --> 00:47:52.840
house with three insane children. Me too. But

00:47:52.840 --> 00:47:54.280
also sort of run a business. No, I'm just kidding.

00:47:54.360 --> 00:47:55.880
But no, it's true. Yeah, I just remember thinking

00:47:55.880 --> 00:47:58.559
like it was so offensive to me for the idea that

00:47:58.559 --> 00:48:01.300
I had to just like squash this part of my life

00:48:01.300 --> 00:48:03.179
completely out of my messaging if I wanted to

00:48:03.179 --> 00:48:04.860
be successful. It's like, I don't believe it.

00:48:05.019 --> 00:48:07.440
Well, I can see that in two points as well. For

00:48:07.440 --> 00:48:11.030
the first part of it, you know, There are people

00:48:11.030 --> 00:48:13.210
that do believe that they don't want to put any

00:48:13.210 --> 00:48:15.969
children's photos. Oh, totally. Respect. And

00:48:15.969 --> 00:48:18.510
that works, right? But at the same time, there's

00:48:18.510 --> 00:48:20.489
the other camp that actually comes around and

00:48:20.489 --> 00:48:25.449
says, you know what? We have to be that. We have

00:48:25.449 --> 00:48:27.849
the responsibility to show other people that

00:48:27.849 --> 00:48:30.889
it doesn't have to be perfect. And it can be

00:48:30.889 --> 00:48:34.429
messy. And we still can get things done. It's

00:48:34.429 --> 00:48:38.989
yes and, not yes but. I think that's really important.

00:48:40.199 --> 00:48:42.639
I'm so glad that you kept that on. Yeah, you

00:48:42.639 --> 00:48:45.760
will always see my children. And to be fair,

00:48:45.820 --> 00:48:47.960
actually, so I had a cousin. So I had a cousin

00:48:47.960 --> 00:48:52.739
whose middle child was trans. And when they were

00:48:52.739 --> 00:48:57.159
navigating that journey with them. she was like

00:48:57.159 --> 00:48:59.059
I don't want to put anything on right now because

00:48:59.059 --> 00:49:01.239
that's not respectful of her journey you know

00:49:01.239 --> 00:49:03.960
that was a wonderful amazing choice because this

00:49:03.960 --> 00:49:05.900
is a mom much like myself my cousin where it's

00:49:05.900 --> 00:49:07.699
like you know her kids all over social media

00:49:07.699 --> 00:49:11.139
and then obviously very obvious when the middle

00:49:11.139 --> 00:49:13.219
one started not being you know featuring it's

00:49:13.219 --> 00:49:15.039
like I know she's there you know or pardon me

00:49:15.039 --> 00:49:17.760
they're there and it's like So where are they?

00:49:17.840 --> 00:49:19.739
And then, you know, my cousin was like, hey,

00:49:19.780 --> 00:49:21.960
we're actually protecting their identity and

00:49:21.960 --> 00:49:23.599
their privacy during this transitional time.

00:49:23.659 --> 00:49:25.739
And I was like, that's how you do this shit.

00:49:25.800 --> 00:49:28.400
Right. That's exactly how you do it is, you know,

00:49:28.400 --> 00:49:31.179
when your children or your partner or your life

00:49:31.179 --> 00:49:34.340
asks you to present them differently or to particular

00:49:34.340 --> 00:49:37.300
privacy, you do it and you don't have to justify

00:49:37.300 --> 00:49:39.300
it. You know, you can make that choice and not

00:49:39.300 --> 00:49:40.539
have this. So, you know, for all those moms who

00:49:40.539 --> 00:49:42.539
are like, I do not want my children on social

00:49:42.539 --> 00:49:45.639
media. I hear it. I hear it. It's totally. you

00:49:45.639 --> 00:49:47.480
know, value based choice. I've got the opposite

00:49:47.480 --> 00:49:50.000
thing. My husband is not on any social media.

00:49:50.059 --> 00:49:52.420
He always says to me, do not put me on your Instagram.

00:49:52.619 --> 00:49:54.800
Yeah, he's never there. He's never there. And

00:49:54.800 --> 00:49:56.420
he's always like, and I hate it when you talk

00:49:56.420 --> 00:50:00.380
about me on your podcast. Yeah. Hi, we love you.

00:50:01.239 --> 00:50:03.659
No, I think I think there is, you know, there's

00:50:03.659 --> 00:50:06.300
truth to both sides. Growing up, there was nothing

00:50:06.300 --> 00:50:09.440
like this, right? There was no online presence

00:50:09.440 --> 00:50:13.119
and the freedom to make mistakes. You know, it's

00:50:13.119 --> 00:50:15.940
real. you know you can find yourself comfortably

00:50:15.940 --> 00:50:20.099
and not fear about somebody looking at you and

00:50:20.099 --> 00:50:23.280
coming back to bite you in the ass later on and

00:50:23.280 --> 00:50:25.480
i think that you know if i could i would like

00:50:25.480 --> 00:50:28.420
to gift my children that you know just keeping

00:50:28.420 --> 00:50:31.599
them offline until they find themselves and decide

00:50:31.599 --> 00:50:35.059
how they want to appear it's not like they're

00:50:35.059 --> 00:50:38.360
not experiencing it yeah you know they get to

00:50:38.360 --> 00:50:40.320
play around they get to understand what's going

00:50:40.320 --> 00:50:42.960
on i explain everything to them i explain to

00:50:42.960 --> 00:50:45.739
them what's advertising what people think um

00:50:45.739 --> 00:50:48.480
you know what's fear based what's not and you

00:50:48.480 --> 00:50:50.559
have a choice right everything that you put out

00:50:50.559 --> 00:50:53.340
there you have a choice between love or fear

00:50:53.340 --> 00:50:55.699
you can create it with love you can create it

00:50:55.699 --> 00:50:57.760
with fear you can watch it with love you can

00:50:57.760 --> 00:51:00.539
watch it with fear but you have to be very careful

00:51:00.539 --> 00:51:05.210
because a lot of the well well white bread It's

00:51:05.210 --> 00:51:08.829
designed to instill fear. Why? Because when you're

00:51:08.829 --> 00:51:14.090
fearful, then you're kind of incapacitated. The

00:51:14.090 --> 00:51:16.969
more fear you feel, the more paralyzed you feel.

00:51:17.610 --> 00:51:20.610
And then somebody else can come in and say, I

00:51:20.610 --> 00:51:22.969
know how to make you feel happy. And that's how

00:51:22.969 --> 00:51:24.929
they're going to control you. So as long as you

00:51:24.929 --> 00:51:28.409
explain to them what's actually going on, they're

00:51:28.409 --> 00:51:31.159
happy to be able to navigate it themselves. And

00:51:31.159 --> 00:51:32.679
they'll check back because you're like, is this

00:51:32.679 --> 00:51:34.880
what's going on? Because you explained it to

00:51:34.880 --> 00:51:37.400
them. The minute you just go like, no, don't

00:51:37.400 --> 00:51:40.800
do it because I say so. Oh, the opposite is going

00:51:40.800 --> 00:51:43.460
to happen. I'm going to try it just to be rebellious.

00:51:44.300 --> 00:51:46.219
I've loved this conversation, Chrissy. I feel

00:51:46.219 --> 00:51:48.039
like you've given us so much to think about.

00:51:48.219 --> 00:51:50.380
But we do have one final question. Before we

00:51:50.380 --> 00:51:52.780
finish up, we would like to ask you, what's your

00:51:52.780 --> 00:51:54.780
40s formula? Now, this is a question we tend

00:51:54.780 --> 00:51:57.760
to ask all of our guests. And we want to know,

00:51:57.780 --> 00:52:00.880
how would you sum up what women in their 40s

00:52:00.880 --> 00:52:03.760
can do to truly thrive, especially when it comes

00:52:03.760 --> 00:52:06.300
to storytelling, their identity, being online?

00:52:06.800 --> 00:52:09.940
What would you say was your 40s formula? You

00:52:09.940 --> 00:52:13.849
already know that my... Avatar is almost like

00:52:13.849 --> 00:52:18.409
a director, right? And what I would say would

00:52:18.409 --> 00:52:22.550
be working for me, how I try to separate myself

00:52:22.550 --> 00:52:25.510
from productivity to trying to find my own identity

00:52:25.510 --> 00:52:29.969
is really to have that separation. And I like

00:52:29.969 --> 00:52:34.489
to describe it as be your own director for your

00:52:34.489 --> 00:52:37.289
own epic movie. The more you are able to then

00:52:37.289 --> 00:52:40.929
separate yourself from your story. So look at

00:52:40.929 --> 00:52:42.960
yourself from outside. Find a different perspective.

00:52:43.739 --> 00:52:46.260
Give yourself a character. Give all your parts

00:52:46.260 --> 00:52:48.500
a character. So you're looking at yourself as

00:52:48.500 --> 00:52:51.199
a director and then all of a sudden that emotion

00:52:51.199 --> 00:52:54.599
doesn't feel so strong and you get more perspective.

00:52:55.179 --> 00:52:59.780
And then you will be able to perceive that life

00:52:59.780 --> 00:53:02.960
is not so hard. That there could be a different

00:53:02.960 --> 00:53:05.320
way to then touch on something, right? The football

00:53:05.320 --> 00:53:07.500
analogy. Do you know about this one? No, but

00:53:07.500 --> 00:53:09.500
I do love football. Tell me more. It depends

00:53:09.500 --> 00:53:10.780
which football. Yeah, I was going to say, actually,

00:53:10.860 --> 00:53:13.420
is this American football? I see you like leaning

00:53:13.420 --> 00:53:16.199
into the microphone. Okay, so the football analogy

00:53:16.199 --> 00:53:19.480
goes a little bit like this. So when you're a

00:53:19.480 --> 00:53:22.920
player in the field, right? Like a soccer. I'll

00:53:22.920 --> 00:53:26.539
allow it. I'll allow it. Damn it. Now she's going

00:53:26.539 --> 00:53:29.639
to kick me off. It's okay. I'm British, so we

00:53:29.639 --> 00:53:31.760
call it football. 50 % of this audience understand.

00:53:33.210 --> 00:53:35.150
When you're playing a field, you're really in

00:53:35.150 --> 00:53:43.349
it. You're pushing in. You're reflexive. You're

00:53:43.349 --> 00:53:47.730
playing. You don't have time to think about keeping

00:53:47.730 --> 00:53:51.349
score. You're really in the game. You're there.

00:53:51.610 --> 00:53:55.289
You're present. But you're also feeling all the

00:53:55.289 --> 00:53:57.590
emotion and all the stress all at the same time.

00:53:58.110 --> 00:54:00.289
But then you think about yourself as a coach

00:54:00.289 --> 00:54:02.960
in the box. And all of a sudden, you're really

00:54:02.960 --> 00:54:05.420
far away, like a director. And you can see the

00:54:05.420 --> 00:54:07.800
plays on the fields. You can check out the strategy.

00:54:08.079 --> 00:54:11.260
You know how to rearrange players. And you know

00:54:11.260 --> 00:54:13.059
how to go at it from a different point of view.

00:54:14.559 --> 00:54:16.280
Let's talk about the people in the sidelines,

00:54:16.300 --> 00:54:18.980
on the stands. Now, they are not in the game.

00:54:19.460 --> 00:54:23.500
They can comment. And they will keep score. Right?

00:54:24.440 --> 00:54:27.599
Not really the... nice way either yep you're

00:54:27.599 --> 00:54:29.760
right but they're also supporters and they're

00:54:29.760 --> 00:54:33.460
also there to cheer you on now what about in

00:54:33.460 --> 00:54:37.340
the helicopter you know the newscaster giving

00:54:37.340 --> 00:54:40.820
you that bird's eye view now you're really far

00:54:40.820 --> 00:54:43.019
away and all of a sudden your problems are going

00:54:43.019 --> 00:54:46.440
to seem so small and you have to suddenly you

00:54:46.440 --> 00:54:49.300
have a little bit of space to go into all right

00:54:49.300 --> 00:54:52.059
you're there to then just breathe a little see

00:54:52.059 --> 00:54:54.800
it from bird's eye view And all those pains just

00:54:54.800 --> 00:54:58.059
melt away. It's not so important anymore. So

00:54:58.059 --> 00:55:00.940
if you can think of yourself as a director, sometimes

00:55:00.940 --> 00:55:03.659
you're in the game, sometimes you're in the box,

00:55:03.840 --> 00:55:06.800
sometimes you're on the sidelines. They all have

00:55:06.800 --> 00:55:11.159
their, can I say purpose, right? And they all

00:55:11.159 --> 00:55:14.280
have their seasons too, right? You can plan,

00:55:14.400 --> 00:55:16.980
you can see, you can strategize, and then you

00:55:16.980 --> 00:55:19.920
can be in the game. But don't forget to reflect.

00:55:20.480 --> 00:55:23.420
Get out of the game. Far away enough so that

00:55:23.420 --> 00:55:25.880
everything feels a little bit more sustainable.

00:55:26.519 --> 00:55:30.340
That's the word, sustainable. And find a different

00:55:30.340 --> 00:55:34.179
perspective. Get in the chopper. Get in the chopper

00:55:34.179 --> 00:55:38.179
and zoom out. Be in it when you need to. Yes.

00:55:38.570 --> 00:55:40.630
Be the coach when you need to, the manager when

00:55:40.630 --> 00:55:42.909
you need to. Sometimes you can make some comments,

00:55:43.050 --> 00:55:45.030
you know, like, ah, that was a fucking shit pass.

00:55:46.329 --> 00:55:49.309
Exactly. But, you know, overall, yeah, take a

00:55:49.309 --> 00:55:52.489
step back and take charge. Be in control. Yeah.

00:55:52.590 --> 00:55:55.489
I mean, there's so many choices out there. And,

00:55:55.489 --> 00:55:57.929
oh my gosh, we're just going to be even more

00:55:57.929 --> 00:56:00.269
muddled with even more choices coming, you know,

00:56:00.289 --> 00:56:03.800
in the next. Oh gosh, not even next year. Next

00:56:03.800 --> 00:56:06.119
few months, we're going to have like more improvements

00:56:06.119 --> 00:56:08.760
of AI, the more apps that we can actually use.

00:56:09.039 --> 00:56:13.000
We're going to be totally confused. So just take

00:56:13.000 --> 00:56:16.840
a step back. Go inside, not outside. That's where

00:56:16.840 --> 00:56:19.500
the noise is. Let the noise be there. Entertainment.

00:56:20.139 --> 00:56:23.000
And then just be a director and see where you

00:56:23.000 --> 00:56:24.619
want to go because it's not about productivity.

00:56:24.719 --> 00:56:28.099
It's not about who or what we've achieved. It's

00:56:28.099 --> 00:56:30.849
about alignment. And we're supposed to just align

00:56:30.849 --> 00:56:33.110
ourselves a little bit every day. No pressure.

00:56:33.409 --> 00:56:36.510
Love it. Love it. Take that pressure away and

00:56:36.510 --> 00:56:39.889
take direction, take charge. Yeah, because you

00:56:39.889 --> 00:56:42.110
know what? The pen is in your hand and you can

00:56:42.110 --> 00:56:44.429
write your own script. That is the true story.

00:56:44.630 --> 00:56:47.230
The next chapter is yours, right? Thank you so

00:56:47.230 --> 00:56:48.829
much, Chrissy. It's been absolutely wonderful

00:56:48.829 --> 00:56:50.889
having you here. Thank you. Really enjoyed this

00:56:50.889 --> 00:56:52.690
conversation. Thank you for having me. Oh, thank

00:56:52.690 --> 00:56:55.159
you. Right guys, let's talk about perimenopause

00:56:55.159 --> 00:56:56.920
for a second. One moment you're feeling like

00:56:56.920 --> 00:56:59.400
yourself and the next everything seems to shift.

00:56:59.539 --> 00:57:01.559
Your body's making changes that can leave you

00:57:01.559 --> 00:57:03.719
feeling out of control and that's when it starts

00:57:03.719 --> 00:57:06.340
to feel like a bit of a roller coaster. But here's

00:57:06.340 --> 00:57:08.980
the good news. Strength, both physical and mental,

00:57:09.099 --> 00:57:11.260
can be your anchor through it all. The right

00:57:11.260 --> 00:57:13.340
kind of movement along with the right kind of

00:57:13.340 --> 00:57:15.320
support really helps you manage these shifts.

00:57:15.760 --> 00:57:17.900
That's why we love Great Moves and their Menopause

00:57:17.900 --> 00:57:20.340
Mojo program. It's specifically designed for

00:57:20.340 --> 00:57:22.619
perimenopause and menopause with pelvic floor

00:57:22.619 --> 00:57:25.260
support, breathwork and strength training, all

00:57:25.260 --> 00:57:27.239
aimed at helping you feel more confident and

00:57:27.239 --> 00:57:30.280
in control. Exactly. It's about building resilience

00:57:30.280 --> 00:57:33.400
in both your body and your mindset. You can't

00:57:33.400 --> 00:57:35.679
stop the changes, but you can take charge of

00:57:35.679 --> 00:57:38.199
how you respond. And that's exactly what Great

00:57:38.199 --> 00:57:40.599
Moves helps you do. Stay strong and supported

00:57:40.599 --> 00:57:43.440
through the whole journey. And we've got an exclusive

00:57:43.440 --> 00:57:47.420
offer just for our listeners. Use code TFF30

00:57:47.420 --> 00:57:52.099
at moves .great .com for $20 off your trial class

00:57:52.099 --> 00:57:55.900
or 50 % off the five session menopause mojo program.

00:57:56.320 --> 00:57:58.679
Guys, you know, we love coffee. And if you want

00:57:58.679 --> 00:58:00.039
to show us some love, you know, you can always

00:58:00.039 --> 00:58:03.760
get us one. Just visit buymeacoffee .com slash

00:58:03.760 --> 00:58:08.179
the 40s formula. Cheers. Before we go, please

00:58:08.179 --> 00:58:10.659
remember to hit subscribe and take a moment to

00:58:10.659 --> 00:58:13.059
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00:58:38.260 --> 00:58:40.079
for being part of this community and we'll be

00:58:40.079 --> 00:58:41.760
back next week for more empowering conversations

00:58:41.760 --> 00:59:26.309
with inspiring guests. Bye. A little treasure

00:59:26.309 --> 00:59:28.429
hunt for him to go and find his present. That

00:59:28.429 --> 00:59:30.969
is so cute. And they say, oh no, it's a treasure

00:59:30.969 --> 00:59:36.510
hunt for mummy, not you. Yeah, very convincing,

00:59:36.710 --> 00:59:38.650
very convincing. Yes, yes. The bait and switch.

00:59:38.929 --> 00:59:42.590
Just kidding, it is you. A lot to learn from

00:59:42.590 --> 00:59:42.730
them.