1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:03,800 And I think, you know, something I want to talk to you about was the title of the book, right? 2 00:00:03,800 --> 00:00:05,840 Bipolar Phoenix. 3 00:00:05,840 --> 00:00:10,760 So the idea of rebuilding, re-emerging, rising up amid the ashes, right? 4 00:00:10,760 --> 00:00:12,200 I think that's a very intentional phrase. 5 00:00:12,200 --> 00:00:13,200 Yes, it is. 6 00:00:13,200 --> 00:00:16,680 Do you think that living with bipolar makes you more resilient? 7 00:00:16,680 --> 00:00:21,320 I am so shy about using that word because I don't feel resilient. 8 00:00:21,320 --> 00:00:23,240 I feel like a failure. 9 00:00:23,240 --> 00:00:25,560 I really do, and I do right now. 10 00:00:25,560 --> 00:00:32,760 It's hard, resilience is to me a champion of someone who champions the moment, who attacks 11 00:00:32,760 --> 00:00:34,040 the moment and wins. 12 00:00:34,040 --> 00:00:36,800 And I, you know, I don't always feel that way. 13 00:00:36,800 --> 00:00:41,120 I think when I look back and when other people, it's mostly coming from other people that 14 00:00:41,120 --> 00:00:42,120 they say you're really resilient. 15 00:00:42,120 --> 00:00:46,120 And I'm like, okay, but I'm pretty hard on myself about it. 16 00:00:46,120 --> 00:00:48,120 So I know we didn't bring tissues in. 17 00:00:48,120 --> 00:00:49,120 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 18 00:00:49,120 --> 00:00:50,120 Okay. 19 00:00:50,120 --> 00:01:12,480 Hey, hey, and welcome to the 40s Formula, your go-to place for insightful discussions 20 00:01:12,480 --> 00:01:16,720 on navigating the 40s and thriving in this transformative decade. 21 00:01:16,720 --> 00:01:20,640 We're your hosts, Jasmine and Amanda, two women that are passionate about exploring 22 00:01:20,640 --> 00:01:33,440 the challenges and adventures that come with turning 40 and what lies ahead. 23 00:01:33,440 --> 00:01:38,480 Andrea Brankin is an American journalist and author of Bipolar Phoenix, her story of living 24 00:01:38,480 --> 00:01:44,320 with bipolar disorder, as well as her personally recommended strategies for mental health management. 25 00:01:44,320 --> 00:01:50,120 Andrea also writes broadly about life in Singapore for local publications, blogs and websites, 26 00:01:50,120 --> 00:01:53,680 and in her spare time teaches yoga to both adults and children. 27 00:01:53,680 --> 00:01:58,840 She has lived in Singapore since 2012, is happily married and has one daughter. 28 00:01:58,840 --> 00:02:03,720 She is also a former field hockey and rugby player, but now prefers to play golf, practice 29 00:02:03,720 --> 00:02:08,520 yoga and meditate in Singapore's beautiful natural environment. 30 00:02:08,520 --> 00:02:12,400 Our guest today is someone that I actually know very well personally and professionally 31 00:02:12,400 --> 00:02:15,320 from our many years of being Americans in Singapore together. 32 00:02:15,320 --> 00:02:20,400 But today is the first time that we've really sat down to have kind of a more personal chat 33 00:02:20,400 --> 00:02:22,520 about a different side of her life experience. 34 00:02:22,520 --> 00:02:24,520 So living with bipolar disease. 35 00:02:24,520 --> 00:02:25,520 So Andrea, welcome. 36 00:02:25,520 --> 00:02:26,520 Hi, thanks a lot. 37 00:02:26,520 --> 00:02:29,800 Thanks for having me and every day is World Mental Health Day. 38 00:02:29,800 --> 00:02:35,760 October 10th usually, which is when my book came out was October 10th, 2020. 39 00:02:35,760 --> 00:02:38,800 So yeah, every day I'm working on it. 40 00:02:38,800 --> 00:02:43,240 So that's why we're here to have a real talk about this journey. 41 00:02:43,240 --> 00:02:44,240 I bought your book. 42 00:02:44,240 --> 00:02:45,240 So the book is called which I love, right? 43 00:02:45,240 --> 00:02:49,520 It's called bipolar Phoenix, my F stuff life and how I fixed it. 44 00:02:49,520 --> 00:02:53,160 I bought this a few years ago, obviously published and posted about it. 45 00:02:53,160 --> 00:02:58,240 And it was the first time that I felt like I was really inside the brain of someone with 46 00:02:58,240 --> 00:02:59,240 mental health struggles, right? 47 00:02:59,240 --> 00:03:04,080 So obviously working in a clinical environment, I'm face to face with folks that have mental 48 00:03:04,080 --> 00:03:05,080 health problems, right? 49 00:03:05,080 --> 00:03:06,080 All the time. 50 00:03:06,080 --> 00:03:09,720 But this book really helped me understand what is the living experience. 51 00:03:09,720 --> 00:03:14,520 Why did you feel it was important to be this candid with this book? 52 00:03:14,520 --> 00:03:17,920 Well, honestly, no one was there when I was diagnosed. 53 00:03:17,920 --> 00:03:18,920 No book was there. 54 00:03:18,920 --> 00:03:21,040 There was one book, but it was okay. 55 00:03:21,040 --> 00:03:23,160 It was by a doctor. 56 00:03:23,160 --> 00:03:29,360 She had a lot of credibility and her experience didn't reconcile with mine. 57 00:03:29,360 --> 00:03:32,320 So basically I wanted to write the book that I wanted to read. 58 00:03:32,320 --> 00:03:36,360 I wanted to read about 10 things that I could do to change my life and that's what's in 59 00:03:36,360 --> 00:03:37,360 here. 60 00:03:37,360 --> 00:03:38,920 Everything I did, I had a service dog. 61 00:03:38,920 --> 00:03:41,200 I used yoga and meditation. 62 00:03:41,200 --> 00:03:43,920 I tried everything from sound healing to oils. 63 00:03:43,920 --> 00:03:51,000 I made sure I surrounded myself with positive people and family and that kind of thing. 64 00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:55,320 So I felt like I was writing the book that needed to be out there that was more candid, 65 00:03:55,320 --> 00:03:59,960 that was more descriptive, that helped people understand what bipolar is and how it can 66 00:03:59,960 --> 00:04:03,120 affect you and how F taught my life got and why. 67 00:04:03,120 --> 00:04:07,480 Because people will be like, oh, I knew that would happen, but I didn't understand why. 68 00:04:07,480 --> 00:04:11,400 Well, that's what happens when people have mental illness and make bad decisions. 69 00:04:11,400 --> 00:04:14,360 You don't see the world right and you take a lot of chances. 70 00:04:14,360 --> 00:04:17,440 There's a lot of risky behavior with bipolar disorder. 71 00:04:17,440 --> 00:04:19,480 So and I didn't always work out. 72 00:04:19,480 --> 00:04:26,080 Can you just add to some people who may not know what bipolar is, could you just explain 73 00:04:26,080 --> 00:04:31,080 in your own words, doesn't have to be like the medical terminology, but what is that 74 00:04:31,080 --> 00:04:32,080 ? 75 00:04:32,080 --> 00:04:33,080 What it is. 76 00:04:33,080 --> 00:04:35,280 Yeah, I pretty much know the psych book, what's it called? 77 00:04:35,280 --> 00:04:36,280 The DSM. 78 00:04:36,280 --> 00:04:42,320 So bipolar is a mood disorder, which throws people a little bit because you think depression 79 00:04:42,320 --> 00:04:45,800 and anxiety or those moods know their mental health. 80 00:04:45,800 --> 00:04:48,440 No, the mood disorder is mental health. 81 00:04:48,440 --> 00:04:51,640 So the problem is you don't regulate your moods. 82 00:04:51,640 --> 00:04:56,720 You go from very high to very low and with periods of normalcy. 83 00:04:56,720 --> 00:05:02,600 And depending on whether you're bipolar one or two, that's kind of slicing and dicing 84 00:05:02,600 --> 00:05:04,160 a little bit of Hollywood in there. 85 00:05:04,160 --> 00:05:06,720 A lot of the Hollywood people are bipolar too. 86 00:05:06,720 --> 00:05:08,680 It's like, no, you're bipolar one. 87 00:05:08,680 --> 00:05:15,840 OK, and I'm like, OK, so bipolar one is a little more severe where you have great surreality 88 00:05:15,840 --> 00:05:19,000 and you really blow it. 89 00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:23,960 But you have more depressive episodes of bipolar too. 90 00:05:23,960 --> 00:05:26,520 And that's honestly, I think I'm bipolar too. 91 00:05:26,520 --> 00:05:28,400 I've never had a break of reality. 92 00:05:28,400 --> 00:05:32,480 But suicide attempts and I think that's a really important thing to talk about is a 93 00:05:32,480 --> 00:05:34,200 big part of all of bipolar. 94 00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:36,560 One, two, it does not. 95 00:05:36,560 --> 00:05:39,040 So a lot of times, and I'm 53. 96 00:05:39,040 --> 00:05:45,280 So when I was diagnosed in 2000, early 2000, the only way they were really diagnosing it 97 00:05:45,280 --> 00:05:47,360 was if you had a suicide attempt. 98 00:05:47,360 --> 00:05:48,360 And that's how I got diagnosed. 99 00:05:48,360 --> 00:05:50,320 It was like, oh, that's it. 100 00:05:50,320 --> 00:05:56,000 Now, now we know because that was a real that was like number one suicide attempts. 101 00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:58,560 Now they're catching it earlier. 102 00:05:58,560 --> 00:05:59,560 Thank God. 103 00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:00,560 Diagnosing it earlier. 104 00:06:00,560 --> 00:06:05,800 Thank God for many of the young people who are struggling like I did in my 20s, not knowing 105 00:06:05,800 --> 00:06:08,500 what was going on, not knowing how to handle it. 106 00:06:08,500 --> 00:06:10,800 So I hope that describes the illness. 107 00:06:10,800 --> 00:06:15,720 But when you said like, OK, so it's being diagnosed younger people are more in tune with 108 00:06:15,720 --> 00:06:19,960 the signs other than suicidal ideation or suicide attempts. 109 00:06:19,960 --> 00:06:21,320 What are some of these signs? 110 00:06:21,320 --> 00:06:26,280 Like if you suspect you might have a bipolar child or teen or adult, what are some of the 111 00:06:26,280 --> 00:06:27,280 signs? 112 00:06:27,280 --> 00:06:28,280 I'll talk about the child thing first. 113 00:06:28,280 --> 00:06:31,160 I don't believe in diagnosing children as bipolar. 114 00:06:31,160 --> 00:06:36,480 They change so much and their brains are moving so fast to process at age nine, age 14, age 115 00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:37,480 three, eight babies. 116 00:06:37,480 --> 00:06:39,200 I it's just my opinion. 117 00:06:39,200 --> 00:06:44,560 I'm not a medical doctor, but it's my opinion that children need a chance to develop and 118 00:06:44,560 --> 00:06:46,520 get through their teenage years. 119 00:06:46,520 --> 00:06:50,360 Teenage years for me, the red, there were red flags as a kid. 120 00:06:50,360 --> 00:06:52,760 Like I didn't regulate emotion very well. 121 00:06:52,760 --> 00:06:56,760 OK, I'm not saying everyone who doesn't regulate is bipolar or can be. 122 00:06:56,760 --> 00:06:57,760 I am. 123 00:06:57,760 --> 00:06:58,760 I was. 124 00:06:58,760 --> 00:06:59,760 So that was my experience. 125 00:06:59,760 --> 00:07:02,280 Teenager, I had depression and I didn't know what to do. 126 00:07:02,280 --> 00:07:07,600 And it was the 80s and people were like, you know, yeah, hey, there's this new thing called 127 00:07:07,600 --> 00:07:10,080 Prozac and it's making people want to do bad things. 128 00:07:10,080 --> 00:07:11,680 And I'm like, no, it's supposed to help. 129 00:07:11,680 --> 00:07:13,240 Can I please try it? 130 00:07:13,240 --> 00:07:17,520 So I did go on that in college and had a little bit of trouble with eating disorders, but 131 00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:19,040 that's all emotion regulation. 132 00:07:19,040 --> 00:07:21,560 It wasn't a full lifetime thing for me. 133 00:07:21,560 --> 00:07:25,720 It was me reaching out, wanting help, not getting it, not knowing where to go with it. 134 00:07:25,720 --> 00:07:27,360 So young people. 135 00:07:27,360 --> 00:07:33,040 And of course, we know about the prefrontal cortex development doesn't finish until 21, 136 00:07:33,040 --> 00:07:34,040 25. 137 00:07:34,040 --> 00:07:41,360 Why people can't rent cars and drink until they're 21 or whatever. 138 00:07:41,360 --> 00:07:47,000 So I think personally, it starts in the 20s and that's normal. 139 00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:49,160 And usually late 20s is when it starts to kick in. 140 00:07:49,160 --> 00:07:54,220 But now that we're catching things in the early 20s, I've met more and more people over 141 00:07:54,220 --> 00:07:58,400 time that have been younger and diagnosed in college. 142 00:07:58,400 --> 00:08:03,080 And I mean, I feel sad that they're dealing with these challenges then, but at least they 143 00:08:03,080 --> 00:08:05,160 can get medication and support. 144 00:08:05,160 --> 00:08:06,160 I didn't have that. 145 00:08:06,160 --> 00:08:09,560 I was just like, you know, people are like, she's a wild one. 146 00:08:09,560 --> 00:08:11,680 And I'm like, yeah. 147 00:08:11,680 --> 00:08:13,280 And what does support look like? 148 00:08:13,280 --> 00:08:16,920 Like how does one, I mean, you go into this really vulnerable book. 149 00:08:16,920 --> 00:08:19,160 How do you support someone from outside? 150 00:08:19,160 --> 00:08:20,160 Right. 151 00:08:20,160 --> 00:08:25,320 Meaning I'm what I'm seeing is the high highs and the low lows and the periods of normalcy. 152 00:08:25,320 --> 00:08:28,160 How do I support someone as a support person? 153 00:08:28,160 --> 00:08:29,160 Okay. 154 00:08:29,160 --> 00:08:31,360 So one of the things I want to go back to your question of recognizing it. 155 00:08:31,360 --> 00:08:37,000 So this is as a support person, when you recognize a mania is interesting because it's like a 156 00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:44,160 lot of shopping, a lot of sex, a lot of drinking, maybe there's drugs involved, high risk behavior. 157 00:08:44,160 --> 00:08:45,960 I did not have all those. 158 00:08:45,960 --> 00:08:51,040 My thing was shopping and a little, and drinking was social for me, but definitely could be 159 00:08:51,040 --> 00:08:52,460 put in that category. 160 00:08:52,460 --> 00:08:54,740 So you see someone who's out of control. 161 00:08:54,740 --> 00:08:57,600 Maybe they've lost their job or doing poorly in their job. 162 00:08:57,600 --> 00:08:58,920 They're not sleeping. 163 00:08:58,920 --> 00:09:02,000 I went through a stage, which is in my book, where I ate only sugar. 164 00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:03,280 I thought nothing of this. 165 00:09:03,280 --> 00:09:07,920 I was working at Kraft as a fitness instructor and I thought I could go to the store and 166 00:09:07,920 --> 00:09:09,400 just buy whatever food I needed. 167 00:09:09,400 --> 00:09:13,160 And the Kraft store was all the cookies that you couldn't get the flavors anywhere else. 168 00:09:13,160 --> 00:09:14,560 So this made perfect sense to me. 169 00:09:14,560 --> 00:09:18,260 So that doesn't make sense to a friend if you tell them. 170 00:09:18,260 --> 00:09:19,640 So things like that. 171 00:09:19,640 --> 00:09:23,320 And then the depressive, not getting out of bed, not getting to work, not getting work 172 00:09:23,320 --> 00:09:24,800 done, not being able to make decisions. 173 00:09:24,800 --> 00:09:26,360 That was a hard one for me. 174 00:09:26,360 --> 00:09:30,480 I couldn't decide whether to turn left or right literally when the light changed on 175 00:09:30,480 --> 00:09:31,480 the road. 176 00:09:31,480 --> 00:09:37,080 I thought that's dangerous, you know, just feeling like you want to give up. 177 00:09:37,080 --> 00:09:38,080 Just being flat. 178 00:09:38,080 --> 00:09:41,120 I used to go through periods where I just couldn't wear clothes. 179 00:09:41,120 --> 00:09:42,720 I couldn't wear nice clothes. 180 00:09:42,720 --> 00:09:43,720 And I love clothes. 181 00:09:43,720 --> 00:09:47,440 You know I love clothes, models clothes and all that. 182 00:09:47,440 --> 00:09:52,160 So seeing things like that, seeing someone completely changed to someone they don't look 183 00:09:52,160 --> 00:09:57,760 like, like wearing crappy clothes all the time or wearing black all the time or maybe 184 00:09:57,760 --> 00:09:59,400 not dressing up the way they used to. 185 00:09:59,400 --> 00:10:03,040 They go to a party and they're wearing brown and someone said to me, this is me by the 186 00:10:03,040 --> 00:10:04,040 way. 187 00:10:04,040 --> 00:10:05,040 Someone said, what? 188 00:10:05,040 --> 00:10:06,040 You don't look, you okay? 189 00:10:06,040 --> 00:10:08,400 You don't look like you're pizazzing self. 190 00:10:08,400 --> 00:10:11,320 And I'm like, yeah, I'm not feeling very good. 191 00:10:11,320 --> 00:10:14,080 So as a support person recognizing those signs. 192 00:10:14,080 --> 00:10:18,240 Now it's not your job to do everything, but if you can approach them and say, hey, how 193 00:10:18,240 --> 00:10:19,400 are you doing? 194 00:10:19,400 --> 00:10:21,080 And then listen. 195 00:10:21,080 --> 00:10:22,080 And then listen. 196 00:10:22,080 --> 00:10:25,760 And if you need to nudge a little bit and say, hey, I was just wondering, feeling depressed 197 00:10:25,760 --> 00:10:28,120 or do you feel like with some extra energy going on? 198 00:10:28,120 --> 00:10:29,680 You seem a little rubbed up. 199 00:10:29,680 --> 00:10:32,600 So my husband does and he sees it before anybody. 200 00:10:32,600 --> 00:10:35,400 He's like one of those dogs that recognizes the seizure. 201 00:10:35,400 --> 00:10:36,400 earthquake. 202 00:10:36,400 --> 00:10:37,400 Yeah. 203 00:10:37,400 --> 00:10:41,200 He's like, he's like, Andrea, I think you're getting really rubbed up. 204 00:10:41,200 --> 00:10:44,200 And I'm like, no, I'm not. 205 00:10:44,200 --> 00:10:49,800 Is there usually a trigger for either your high point or your low point? 206 00:10:49,800 --> 00:10:53,520 Can someone spot something like you said your husband can? 207 00:10:53,520 --> 00:10:54,520 Yeah. 208 00:10:54,520 --> 00:10:57,280 But is there usually a trigger which might cause a low point? 209 00:10:57,280 --> 00:10:58,280 100%. 210 00:10:58,280 --> 00:10:59,280 Yeah, 100%. 211 00:10:59,280 --> 00:11:07,480 So in my, in my life, things about money, a disappointment could be a trigger for a 212 00:11:07,480 --> 00:11:09,480 negative episode. 213 00:11:09,480 --> 00:11:13,880 Something exciting like I coach rugby and I get really pumped about it. 214 00:11:13,880 --> 00:11:16,520 And my husband gets worried that it's too much. 215 00:11:16,520 --> 00:11:21,720 That if we won a cup or we won a tournament that I'm too fired up about it. 216 00:11:21,720 --> 00:11:23,480 So those are triggers. 217 00:11:23,480 --> 00:11:24,800 You know, maybe go into a concert. 218 00:11:24,800 --> 00:11:26,160 I have to be careful. 219 00:11:26,160 --> 00:11:27,160 Really I do. 220 00:11:27,160 --> 00:11:30,840 I'm not a big fan of Tom's Tom, but I went to see Travis Scott was my fan from the, 221 00:11:30,840 --> 00:11:31,840 from the mosh pit. 222 00:11:31,840 --> 00:11:32,840 He was hearing something. 223 00:11:32,840 --> 00:11:33,840 No, no, no. 224 00:11:33,840 --> 00:11:34,840 I'm pretty sure he's not allowed to. 225 00:11:34,840 --> 00:11:42,640 No, I took my daughter to Brisbane to go to the show and I was very nervous about how 226 00:11:42,640 --> 00:11:46,280 it was going to affect me in terms of the lighting and the sound. 227 00:11:46,280 --> 00:11:52,040 And it was intense and I have to really, and I left, I let Georgia go with some teens, 228 00:11:52,040 --> 00:11:53,800 great mom of the year to the mosh pit. 229 00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:58,400 And so I didn't have to be there because I was like, Oh, I want to, I want to get in 230 00:11:58,400 --> 00:11:59,400 the mosh. 231 00:11:59,400 --> 00:12:00,400 I'm like 53. 232 00:12:00,400 --> 00:12:01,400 You can't do that. 233 00:12:01,400 --> 00:12:02,400 You've got to go, Georgia. 234 00:12:02,400 --> 00:12:03,400 I gotta go. 235 00:12:03,400 --> 00:12:07,680 You know, so I had to reduce my exposure as much as I could. 236 00:12:07,680 --> 00:12:08,680 Yeah. 237 00:12:08,680 --> 00:12:11,960 So there are definitely things that trigger up and down. 238 00:12:11,960 --> 00:12:17,640 I'm never sure which is going to be which, but it usually works out that if it's a disappointment, 239 00:12:17,640 --> 00:12:18,640 it's a depression. 240 00:12:18,640 --> 00:12:21,600 And if it's something excitement, it's a, it's an option. 241 00:12:21,600 --> 00:12:22,600 Yeah. 242 00:12:22,600 --> 00:12:25,640 So I think overstimulation is an issue for me. 243 00:12:25,640 --> 00:12:26,640 Yeah. 244 00:12:26,640 --> 00:12:30,240 Well, you mentioned in your book, obviously that you give these amazing tools like specifically, 245 00:12:30,240 --> 00:12:31,240 here are 10 things I did. 246 00:12:31,240 --> 00:12:32,240 Right. 247 00:12:32,240 --> 00:12:35,880 And one of those things is something that we've connected on so much is movement. 248 00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:36,880 I'm moving your body. 249 00:12:36,880 --> 00:12:37,880 Yeah. 250 00:12:37,880 --> 00:12:38,880 You're your instructor yourself. 251 00:12:38,880 --> 00:12:43,320 Can you talk about the role of movement in managing bipolar? 252 00:12:43,320 --> 00:12:44,320 Yeah. 253 00:12:44,320 --> 00:12:47,600 Particularly, and maybe actually with the mania as well, but particularly with the, 254 00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:48,600 with the depressive side. 255 00:12:48,600 --> 00:12:49,600 Yeah. 256 00:12:49,600 --> 00:12:50,600 Well, I'm going through it right now. 257 00:12:50,600 --> 00:12:51,600 Yeah. 258 00:12:51,600 --> 00:12:55,520 I'm in a depressive state and it was funny because I went to the doctor and I sat there 259 00:12:55,520 --> 00:12:58,520 like this and my husband did all the talking. 260 00:12:58,520 --> 00:12:59,520 What's that's weird. 261 00:12:59,520 --> 00:13:00,520 Yeah. 262 00:13:00,520 --> 00:13:01,520 Right there. 263 00:13:01,520 --> 00:13:05,400 And then I was like, I was telling you that I was having trouble getting things done and 264 00:13:05,400 --> 00:13:08,000 wasn't meeting my workouts. 265 00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:12,200 So so hard, you guys. 266 00:13:12,200 --> 00:13:15,520 Amanda, you know, I've been raving about the meat club for over a year 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families and perfect for yours. 290 00:14:26,040 --> 00:14:27,920 And now back to the show. 291 00:14:27,920 --> 00:14:31,720 So sometimes it's just walk across the room. 292 00:14:31,720 --> 00:14:35,080 Like literally, can I get up and go upstairs and brush my teeth? 293 00:14:35,080 --> 00:14:36,280 Like I say, what can I do? 294 00:14:36,280 --> 00:14:38,400 And sometimes I'll make a list of what I can do. 295 00:14:38,400 --> 00:14:42,480 And yesterday I took the dog for a longer walk. 296 00:14:42,480 --> 00:14:45,080 I didn't just mail it in and take him out. 297 00:14:45,080 --> 00:14:46,080 I bring him back in. 298 00:14:46,080 --> 00:14:48,160 And I walked around the block like, I need this. 299 00:14:48,160 --> 00:14:49,160 I need this. 300 00:14:49,160 --> 00:14:50,160 I need this. 301 00:14:50,160 --> 00:14:51,160 I went to see my therapist. 302 00:14:51,160 --> 00:14:52,160 My therapist does walk and talks. 303 00:14:52,160 --> 00:14:54,200 So we go to the Botanic. 304 00:14:54,200 --> 00:14:59,120 I asked for this and we go to the Botanic Gardens and it's beautiful and sounds great 305 00:14:59,120 --> 00:15:00,120 and good environment. 306 00:15:00,120 --> 00:15:03,120 And we walked and then we got thundered out, rained out. 307 00:15:03,120 --> 00:15:04,720 But it was just getting there. 308 00:15:04,720 --> 00:15:06,920 I said, you know, Martin, I didn't want to come. 309 00:15:06,920 --> 00:15:08,800 And he's like, you're here. 310 00:15:08,800 --> 00:15:11,360 If nothing else happens today, you did this. 311 00:15:11,360 --> 00:15:13,840 So it's always about making yourself do one thing. 312 00:15:13,840 --> 00:15:15,760 And it's really hard to say make yourself. 313 00:15:15,760 --> 00:15:19,320 But you do have to dig deep and say, what matters? 314 00:15:19,320 --> 00:15:20,320 What matters? 315 00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:21,320 It matters that I get out of bed today. 316 00:15:21,320 --> 00:15:24,880 There are days where I would just listen to Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings and just 317 00:15:24,880 --> 00:15:25,880 stay in bed. 318 00:15:25,880 --> 00:15:29,120 You know, I mean, I just can't deal with the world. 319 00:15:29,120 --> 00:15:32,000 And when I look back on those days, I say, how did that happen? 320 00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:33,640 What a waste, you know? 321 00:15:33,640 --> 00:15:38,040 So it's just you just have to I make lists, challenge myself. 322 00:15:38,040 --> 00:15:42,680 I have your app, which is great, the Trainerize app from Mandolin. 323 00:15:42,680 --> 00:15:45,840 And I do the MyFitnessPal as much as I can. 324 00:15:45,840 --> 00:15:46,840 I really like accountability. 325 00:15:46,840 --> 00:15:51,680 It's very important to me having that appointment to go to, having this podcast to come and 326 00:15:51,680 --> 00:15:55,560 talk about what's going on, mental health and what's going on. 327 00:15:55,560 --> 00:15:56,560 Yeah. 328 00:15:56,560 --> 00:16:00,480 And I think I love, by the way, you know, I practice cognitive behavioral coaching, right, 329 00:16:00,480 --> 00:16:03,480 which at the end of the day, you need to do something, right? 330 00:16:03,480 --> 00:16:06,640 Something needs to get done if you want to see a change. 331 00:16:06,640 --> 00:16:07,640 Yeah. 332 00:16:07,640 --> 00:16:12,840 And I love that in your lowest points, you are still able to carve out one thing, like 333 00:16:12,840 --> 00:16:13,840 you have to do one thing. 334 00:16:13,840 --> 00:16:14,840 Get out with the dog. 335 00:16:14,840 --> 00:16:15,840 And I love that you do the additional accountability. 336 00:16:15,840 --> 00:16:20,840 I'm going to write it on a piece of paper, get out with dog, we'll take box. 337 00:16:20,840 --> 00:16:21,840 Yeah. 338 00:16:21,840 --> 00:16:22,840 And then do it. 339 00:16:22,840 --> 00:16:26,520 I put a lot on my phone, which is cool, which is how I do it now, actually. 340 00:16:26,520 --> 00:16:30,080 But yesterday I found myself writing it down, which is old school. 341 00:16:30,080 --> 00:16:31,080 Yeah, old school. 342 00:16:31,080 --> 00:16:32,080 Whatever works. 343 00:16:32,080 --> 00:16:37,080 And I think, you know, something I want to talk to you about is the title of the book. 344 00:16:37,080 --> 00:16:38,080 Right. 345 00:16:38,080 --> 00:16:39,080 Bipolar Phoenix. 346 00:16:39,080 --> 00:16:44,080 So the idea of rebuilding, re-emerging, rising up amid the ashes. 347 00:16:44,080 --> 00:16:45,080 Right. 348 00:16:45,080 --> 00:16:46,080 I think that's a very intentional way. 349 00:16:46,080 --> 00:16:47,080 Yes, it is. 350 00:16:47,080 --> 00:16:51,520 Do you think that living with bipolar makes you more resilient? 351 00:16:51,520 --> 00:16:56,080 I am so shy about using that word because I don't feel resilient. 352 00:16:56,080 --> 00:17:00,720 I feel like, I feel like failure. 353 00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:01,720 I really do. 354 00:17:01,720 --> 00:17:04,720 And I do right now. 355 00:17:04,720 --> 00:17:05,720 It's hard. 356 00:17:05,720 --> 00:17:09,600 But I think that the title of the book is, to me, a champion of someone who champions 357 00:17:09,600 --> 00:17:13,200 the moment, who attacks the moment and wins. 358 00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:16,040 And I, you know, I don't always feel that way. 359 00:17:16,040 --> 00:17:21,680 So I think when I look back and when other people, it's mostly coming from other people 360 00:17:21,680 --> 00:17:22,680 that they say you're really resilient. 361 00:17:22,680 --> 00:17:23,680 And I'm like, okay. 362 00:17:23,680 --> 00:17:24,680 But I'm pretty hard on myself about it. 363 00:17:24,680 --> 00:17:25,680 So I know we didn't bring tissues in. 364 00:17:25,680 --> 00:17:26,680 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 365 00:17:26,680 --> 00:17:27,680 That's okay. 366 00:17:27,680 --> 00:17:28,680 So yeah, I do hear it's hard to be resilient. 367 00:17:28,680 --> 00:17:29,680 I think that's a good point. 368 00:17:29,680 --> 00:17:35,840 Yeah, that's okay. 369 00:17:35,840 --> 00:17:37,160 I do hear it from other people more than myself. 370 00:17:37,160 --> 00:17:41,840 I think more I think of myself as a surviving. 371 00:17:41,840 --> 00:17:44,160 And that's a more natural word for me. 372 00:17:44,160 --> 00:17:45,160 Thank you, honey. 373 00:17:45,160 --> 00:17:46,160 Thanks. 374 00:17:46,160 --> 00:17:47,160 I like that. 375 00:17:47,160 --> 00:17:48,160 And thrive. 376 00:17:48,160 --> 00:17:49,840 When I'm doing well, thrive. 377 00:17:49,840 --> 00:17:51,960 And when I'm not doing well, survive. 378 00:17:51,960 --> 00:17:57,680 You know, but Phoenix is definitely, it's a goal. 379 00:17:57,680 --> 00:18:01,360 And I do crash and burn and rebuild and I do it in little ways. 380 00:18:01,360 --> 00:18:02,360 And I do it in big ways. 381 00:18:02,360 --> 00:18:04,480 And then the book is about the big way that they do it. 382 00:18:04,480 --> 00:18:05,480 So yeah, I hear that. 383 00:18:05,480 --> 00:18:12,040 And I think, you know, that's part of the struggle is being able to admit that it's 384 00:18:12,040 --> 00:18:13,040 still a journey. 385 00:18:13,040 --> 00:18:17,400 You know, you can't, your book is fixed it, but it's like meaning, meaning you've learned 386 00:18:17,400 --> 00:18:18,400 how to manage it. 387 00:18:18,400 --> 00:18:22,680 Yeah, not that you are no longer bipolar and you have found the solution. 388 00:18:22,680 --> 00:18:24,520 And it does sound like that in the book. 389 00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:29,640 So that was a really bad, like a really messed up part of my life that I really did fix. 390 00:18:29,640 --> 00:18:33,920 And then I have had new challenges in the past 10 years, including menopause. 391 00:18:33,920 --> 00:18:34,920 Yeah. 392 00:18:34,920 --> 00:18:35,920 Yeah. 393 00:18:35,920 --> 00:18:36,920 Paramanopause. 394 00:18:36,920 --> 00:18:39,120 So when you said challenge, let's have a chat about hormones. 395 00:18:39,120 --> 00:18:40,680 Yeah, it's a tough one. 396 00:18:40,680 --> 00:18:43,000 You are a female living with bipolar. 397 00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:44,000 Yeah. 398 00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:48,080 I think it is crucial to note that some of the hormonal transitions that we go through 399 00:18:48,080 --> 00:18:53,480 as women and women who have chosen to be moms are pretty severe for any of us. 400 00:18:53,480 --> 00:18:57,880 For those of us who already potentially have some imbalances, holy moly, right? 401 00:18:57,880 --> 00:18:59,640 So I'm thinking about pregnancy. 402 00:18:59,640 --> 00:19:03,320 I'm thinking about postpartum and I'm thinking about menopause. 403 00:19:03,320 --> 00:19:07,960 Would you be willing to talk us through your management of bipolar during those hormonally 404 00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:08,960 turbulent times? 405 00:19:08,960 --> 00:19:09,960 Girls, I nailed it. 406 00:19:09,960 --> 00:19:10,960 So lucky. 407 00:19:10,960 --> 00:19:15,240 Now I had really good, I was prepped. 408 00:19:15,240 --> 00:19:17,920 I had a really good buildup to getting pregnant. 409 00:19:17,920 --> 00:19:19,200 I was a fitness instructor. 410 00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:21,040 I was training five hours a day. 411 00:19:21,040 --> 00:19:24,600 I was, you know, did a little professional boxing before that I was playing rugby. 412 00:19:24,600 --> 00:19:30,040 I was in a great physical place and I was helping other people as doing charity work, 413 00:19:30,040 --> 00:19:31,040 working as journalists. 414 00:19:31,040 --> 00:19:33,240 I mean, I was in a great, great place. 415 00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:34,240 I just got married. 416 00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:35,240 We're moving to Singapore. 417 00:19:35,240 --> 00:19:41,360 I actually moved here pregnant, but I had a lot of practice in terms of dealing with 418 00:19:41,360 --> 00:19:43,880 emotional and mood. 419 00:19:43,880 --> 00:19:47,840 So I knew what to possibly expect. 420 00:19:47,840 --> 00:19:51,840 And getting pregnant was not that actually for a 40 year old, not that hard. 421 00:19:51,840 --> 00:19:57,120 I delivered when I was 41, but I got really lucky and I went down the medication to one 422 00:19:57,120 --> 00:19:59,640 pill, one mood stabilizer. 423 00:19:59,640 --> 00:20:03,360 It was enough and I had a really healthy pregnancy. 424 00:20:03,360 --> 00:20:05,760 I didn't stress about eating. 425 00:20:05,760 --> 00:20:11,960 I didn't exercise as much as I had been used to doing, but I had a really good pregnancy 426 00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:16,800 and I managed it and I had a lot of support from my doctors here, my psychiatrist and 427 00:20:16,800 --> 00:20:24,960 my gynecologist and eventually I had an endocrinologist, but definitely the gyno and the psychiatrist 428 00:20:24,960 --> 00:20:29,800 were a very strong team for me and with my husband too. 429 00:20:29,800 --> 00:20:32,800 So basically a team of good people supporting the pregnancy. 430 00:20:32,800 --> 00:20:34,160 Always a team for me and that's in the book too. 431 00:20:34,160 --> 00:20:35,160 Love it. 432 00:20:35,160 --> 00:20:36,160 Yeah. 433 00:20:36,160 --> 00:20:37,160 And then postpartum. 434 00:20:37,160 --> 00:20:38,400 Postpartum, everyone was worried about me. 435 00:20:38,400 --> 00:20:40,800 No, I was okay. 436 00:20:40,800 --> 00:20:46,400 What I needed to do was after I didn't go right back on the medication, I went off the meds 437 00:20:46,400 --> 00:20:50,000 because I was worried about breastfeeding, not because of the milk, but because of me 438 00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:54,600 sleeping or not sleeping because I was afraid I wouldn't wake up for the baby. 439 00:20:54,600 --> 00:20:56,560 It was not a great experiment. 440 00:20:56,560 --> 00:21:00,480 So within four or five weeks we had to go back on the mood stabilizer to get me more 441 00:21:00,480 --> 00:21:02,240 stabilized because I was staying up all night. 442 00:21:02,240 --> 00:21:09,760 I was writing poetry, which I don't write and a lot of staying up all night doing stuff 443 00:21:09,760 --> 00:21:11,520 and not sleeping at all. 444 00:21:11,520 --> 00:21:12,920 So I had to go back on the meds. 445 00:21:12,920 --> 00:21:15,000 So those are the kind of challenges that I had. 446 00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:17,960 But once I got back on the meds, I didn't actually breastfeed very long. 447 00:21:17,960 --> 00:21:21,960 I had a difficult time and the doctor was like, look, in your position, I don't want 448 00:21:21,960 --> 00:21:24,000 to put you under pressure. 449 00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:28,760 This experiment is over and we're going to top up with formula and that's it. 450 00:21:28,760 --> 00:21:30,360 And I was like, yep, that's it. 451 00:21:30,360 --> 00:21:31,640 I trust you. 452 00:21:31,640 --> 00:21:35,760 And the psychiatrist was on board and we said, we're going to go with this and put me back 453 00:21:35,760 --> 00:21:36,760 on the meds. 454 00:21:36,760 --> 00:21:37,760 Yeah. 455 00:21:37,760 --> 00:21:38,760 And you managed your own health. 456 00:21:38,760 --> 00:21:39,760 I did. 457 00:21:39,760 --> 00:21:40,760 I think that's a very important message. 458 00:21:40,760 --> 00:21:41,760 Yeah. 459 00:21:41,760 --> 00:21:46,160 I have to take control because I've experienced and taking control of it. 460 00:21:46,160 --> 00:21:47,360 It wasn't a shock to me. 461 00:21:47,360 --> 00:21:48,760 It wasn't surprising. 462 00:21:48,760 --> 00:21:49,760 I was ready. 463 00:21:49,760 --> 00:21:54,040 I had already had so much happen that I was ready. 464 00:21:54,040 --> 00:21:57,880 And then how about that third people, Perry Menopause? 465 00:21:57,880 --> 00:21:59,920 I was so angry. 466 00:21:59,920 --> 00:22:00,920 I swear. 467 00:22:00,920 --> 00:22:04,080 And I said, I wanted to make sure I mentioned this. 468 00:22:04,080 --> 00:22:09,960 My anger was off the charts and I'm already bipolar with a high propensity for arguing 469 00:22:09,960 --> 00:22:13,200 or getting fired up about stuff. 470 00:22:13,200 --> 00:22:14,200 I'm a passionate person. 471 00:22:14,200 --> 00:22:18,200 But this was like someone would get me mad and I couldn't stop. 472 00:22:18,200 --> 00:22:23,200 I mean, I was calling on healers in Bali, like doing long distance healing and stuff. 473 00:22:23,200 --> 00:22:26,360 I was just like sound healing and all the extra stuff that you can't. 474 00:22:26,360 --> 00:22:28,160 I was already medicated. 475 00:22:28,160 --> 00:22:29,880 So how was I going to manage this? 476 00:22:29,880 --> 00:22:32,440 It was really, really, really, really hard. 477 00:22:32,440 --> 00:22:33,440 I tried massage. 478 00:22:33,440 --> 00:22:34,600 I tried sound healing. 479 00:22:34,600 --> 00:22:35,600 I did oils. 480 00:22:35,600 --> 00:22:36,600 It's in my pocket. 481 00:22:36,600 --> 00:22:40,240 Oh, it fell out. 482 00:22:40,240 --> 00:22:43,040 All right, never mind. 483 00:22:43,040 --> 00:22:47,240 I was trying everything besides everything in addition to medication, because you can 484 00:22:47,240 --> 00:22:48,920 only medicate so much. 485 00:22:48,920 --> 00:22:55,440 But it was honestly the one thing that I added that was really important was meditation. 486 00:22:55,440 --> 00:22:58,480 Number two, walking, walking, walk it off. 487 00:22:58,480 --> 00:23:01,820 And I was walking like three hours, two hours. 488 00:23:01,820 --> 00:23:03,320 But that's what I needed. 489 00:23:03,320 --> 00:23:07,760 And I did what I needed, and I had to do that for myself. 490 00:23:07,760 --> 00:23:12,120 And luckily, I was in a walking group with the American Women's Association. 491 00:23:12,120 --> 00:23:13,720 I had friends that I would walk with. 492 00:23:13,720 --> 00:23:17,000 I walked all during COVID. 493 00:23:17,000 --> 00:23:20,640 But that was the main thing for me with the hormones was the anger. 494 00:23:20,640 --> 00:23:21,640 Meditation. 495 00:23:21,640 --> 00:23:25,160 Yeah, and meditation and movement were the solution for me. 496 00:23:25,160 --> 00:23:27,800 And I think, you know, were you working with your endocrinologist? 497 00:23:27,800 --> 00:23:28,800 Yeah, after. 498 00:23:28,800 --> 00:23:32,400 So you were tracking your right to fall, if you will. 499 00:23:32,400 --> 00:23:33,680 Yeah, so we knew where I was. 500 00:23:33,680 --> 00:23:35,240 We knew where I was in the cycle. 501 00:23:35,240 --> 00:23:36,240 I see her every four months. 502 00:23:36,240 --> 00:23:38,600 I just had blood done. 503 00:23:38,600 --> 00:23:41,760 So she is in concert with the psychiatrist. 504 00:23:41,760 --> 00:23:46,960 And now I don't see my OB anymore because I'm, that ship is sailed. 505 00:23:46,960 --> 00:23:48,960 But that's okay. 506 00:23:48,960 --> 00:23:50,960 I got through it. 507 00:23:50,960 --> 00:23:56,040 It's so important to, I think, empower yourself with the ability to accept help. 508 00:23:56,040 --> 00:23:57,040 Right? 509 00:23:57,040 --> 00:23:58,040 100%. 510 00:23:58,040 --> 00:24:00,520 If I didn't, I wouldn't be here talking to you. 511 00:24:00,520 --> 00:24:03,360 If I didn't, I wouldn't be able to be here. 512 00:24:03,360 --> 00:24:04,360 Or maybe I would. 513 00:24:04,360 --> 00:24:05,360 Seriously. 514 00:24:05,360 --> 00:24:06,360 Yeah. 515 00:24:06,360 --> 00:24:07,360 So I had to get help. 516 00:24:07,360 --> 00:24:12,360 Yeah, that takes a huge amount of vulnerability and acceptance of living with this disease 517 00:24:12,360 --> 00:24:17,040 that you're able to say, okay, I'm going to need help and I'm going to need it for the 518 00:24:17,040 --> 00:24:18,040 foreseeable future. 519 00:24:18,040 --> 00:24:19,040 Yeah. 520 00:24:19,040 --> 00:24:22,680 And also a group of people like you got to have, I think, and it's in the book as well 521 00:24:22,680 --> 00:24:25,000 as you got to have a tribe of people. 522 00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:29,720 And when it comes to to perimenopause, get those spheres out and tip of the spear, your 523 00:24:29,720 --> 00:24:35,040 mental health and your wellness, first and foremost, then you can talk about the gel 524 00:24:35,040 --> 00:24:39,720 and the medication and the other things that you can do, which didn't exactly work for 525 00:24:39,720 --> 00:24:44,120 me, but what did work was the tip of the spear and the spear and the tribe, which was the 526 00:24:44,120 --> 00:24:46,640 support around me and my friends. 527 00:24:46,640 --> 00:24:49,640 And that was huge. 528 00:24:49,640 --> 00:24:50,640 Continues to be huge. 529 00:24:50,640 --> 00:24:58,760 During sort of the experiences that you've had, was there any moment in time that made 530 00:24:58,760 --> 00:25:01,240 you feel like I need help? 531 00:25:01,240 --> 00:25:06,160 Or was it always somebody else who maybe said, oh, you need help? 532 00:25:06,160 --> 00:25:11,000 Was there something in particular that caused you to feel like something needs to be done 533 00:25:11,000 --> 00:25:12,000 here? 534 00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:13,000 Always a mix, always a mix. 535 00:25:13,000 --> 00:25:18,200 So since I married my husband, I've been blessed with that sixth fence from him where he can 536 00:25:18,200 --> 00:25:22,920 see it, know it, and then try to convince me. 537 00:25:22,920 --> 00:25:25,920 But in the end, it has to be me that says I need help. 538 00:25:25,920 --> 00:25:26,920 I'm going to go in. 539 00:25:26,920 --> 00:25:27,920 But it does happen. 540 00:25:27,920 --> 00:25:32,920 Usually I'll maybe check with a friend and say, hey, that seemed like a little off. 541 00:25:32,920 --> 00:25:36,000 And they'll be like, yeah, you've been pretty quiet on the chat lately or something like 542 00:25:36,000 --> 00:25:37,000 that. 543 00:25:37,000 --> 00:25:41,160 Or I noticed that you're not going out or that you're just wearing workout clothes all 544 00:25:41,160 --> 00:25:44,160 the time, which is not a huge thing. 545 00:25:44,160 --> 00:25:45,160 But no, no, I do. 546 00:25:45,160 --> 00:25:50,200 But I mean, if I don't change at all in days, but I know because I lived for 20 years in 547 00:25:50,200 --> 00:25:51,200 workout clothes. 548 00:25:51,200 --> 00:25:52,200 I get it. 549 00:25:52,200 --> 00:25:58,200 I guess what I mean is not showering and stuff like that. 550 00:25:58,200 --> 00:26:01,160 But I do feel that it comes from myself. 551 00:26:01,160 --> 00:26:04,400 I can dig deep in myself and say, I know something's wrong. 552 00:26:04,400 --> 00:26:06,160 Like today I'm having a bad day. 553 00:26:06,160 --> 00:26:07,840 So I know something's wrong. 554 00:26:07,840 --> 00:26:09,920 But luckily I have another person. 555 00:26:09,920 --> 00:26:11,360 But yes, I can do it myself. 556 00:26:11,360 --> 00:26:12,360 And yes, I do do it myself. 557 00:26:12,360 --> 00:26:13,360 And you have kids? 558 00:26:13,360 --> 00:26:14,360 I have a 12 year old daughter. 559 00:26:14,360 --> 00:26:15,360 A 12 year old daughter. 560 00:26:15,360 --> 00:26:16,360 How has the experience been for her of you seeing what her mother goes through? 561 00:26:16,360 --> 00:26:23,360 I would say she's going through puberty and what's that been like? 562 00:26:23,360 --> 00:26:28,360 That makes me want to cry again. 563 00:26:28,360 --> 00:26:31,400 Because no, don't be sorry. 564 00:26:31,400 --> 00:26:34,080 This is dealing with a tween is difficult. 565 00:26:34,080 --> 00:26:36,080 Dealing with her hormones is difficult. 566 00:26:36,080 --> 00:26:40,040 Her dealing with me being bipolar can be really hard. 567 00:26:40,040 --> 00:26:41,800 And how do you say sorry for that? 568 00:26:41,800 --> 00:26:44,160 How do you say, honey, I'm sorry I'm bipolar? 569 00:26:44,160 --> 00:26:45,160 Or how I'm sorry? 570 00:26:45,160 --> 00:26:46,760 I feel maybe suicidal. 571 00:26:46,760 --> 00:26:49,520 I mean, she knows. 572 00:26:49,520 --> 00:26:55,160 So I think if I'm honest and I want to be totally honest that you can't hide it and 573 00:26:55,160 --> 00:26:57,160 you can't glaze it over, it's there. 574 00:26:57,160 --> 00:27:03,280 Whether it comes in arguments with my husband because I'm a little out of control or maybe 575 00:27:03,280 --> 00:27:07,360 I had too many beers and got argumentative, which that's probably the thing that I worry 576 00:27:07,360 --> 00:27:08,360 about the most. 577 00:27:08,360 --> 00:27:10,840 And I know we want to talk about that. 578 00:27:10,840 --> 00:27:18,520 It's hard and she doesn't have the tools herself to properly process it. 579 00:27:18,520 --> 00:27:22,400 And we've had her in therapy before for COVID and stuff. 580 00:27:22,400 --> 00:27:24,600 That was a difficult time for her. 581 00:27:24,600 --> 00:27:28,760 But I don't know what how it's going to. 582 00:27:28,760 --> 00:27:31,760 I don't know what she's going to say when she's 18 or 25. 583 00:27:31,760 --> 00:27:37,440 I don't know if she's going to say my mother was horrible because she's bipolar or I don't 584 00:27:37,440 --> 00:27:38,440 know. 585 00:27:38,440 --> 00:27:39,440 So it's hard. 586 00:27:39,440 --> 00:27:40,440 Yeah. 587 00:27:40,440 --> 00:27:41,440 I don't know. 588 00:27:41,440 --> 00:27:42,440 You can't hide it. 589 00:27:42,440 --> 00:27:46,400 You know, I want her to read this book one day. 590 00:27:46,400 --> 00:27:48,680 Yeah, because it ends with her. 591 00:27:48,680 --> 00:27:51,440 The joy of her coming to us. 592 00:27:51,440 --> 00:27:54,200 Yeah, I'm not afraid. 593 00:27:54,200 --> 00:27:56,000 I'm not afraid for people to read the book. 594 00:27:56,000 --> 00:27:58,920 There's people that would maybe a couple of people that would be upset. 595 00:27:58,920 --> 00:28:01,160 I mean, I don't care. 596 00:28:01,160 --> 00:28:02,160 I lived it. 597 00:28:02,160 --> 00:28:03,160 It's my life. 598 00:28:03,160 --> 00:28:06,920 You know, if you want to tell life, you want to tell your side. 599 00:28:06,920 --> 00:28:11,520 If you were my ex boyfriend or something, which I'm never good with exes, you can write 600 00:28:11,520 --> 00:28:13,960 your own book. 601 00:28:13,960 --> 00:28:16,720 So you touched on the role of alcohol. 602 00:28:16,720 --> 00:28:17,720 Right. 603 00:28:17,720 --> 00:28:21,640 And this is one that I think is a real challenge for folks that are going through mental health 604 00:28:21,640 --> 00:28:22,640 of all different kinds. 605 00:28:22,640 --> 00:28:23,640 Right. 606 00:28:23,640 --> 00:28:28,120 Because there is for many a propensity to self-medicate with alcohol. 607 00:28:28,120 --> 00:28:29,120 Right. 608 00:28:29,120 --> 00:28:30,600 Alcohol will take the pain away. 609 00:28:30,600 --> 00:28:33,400 Alcohol will, you know, give me elevate your mood. 610 00:28:33,400 --> 00:28:34,400 Correct. 611 00:28:34,400 --> 00:28:35,400 Calm you down. 612 00:28:35,400 --> 00:28:37,280 There's a lot of. 613 00:28:37,280 --> 00:28:39,320 Can you talk about your personal journey with alcohol? 614 00:28:39,320 --> 00:28:41,600 Yeah, it's still going. 615 00:28:41,600 --> 00:28:47,520 I'm from a really social background and living in Chicago was party time. 616 00:28:47,520 --> 00:28:50,360 Everyone left at work at five o'clock most of the time. 617 00:28:50,360 --> 00:28:54,360 And maybe we had a show to go to or I played rugby. 618 00:28:54,360 --> 00:28:57,400 So rugby had a lot of drinking. 619 00:28:57,400 --> 00:29:01,560 There are friends of mine from a long time ago that said, I wish you would, you know, 620 00:29:01,560 --> 00:29:02,600 dial it back. 621 00:29:02,600 --> 00:29:06,280 You know, and and and just be more in control. 622 00:29:06,280 --> 00:29:07,280 And I don't know. 623 00:29:07,280 --> 00:29:12,240 Like there's times where I can drink 10 beers and nothing happens to me because I'm in an 624 00:29:12,240 --> 00:29:15,640 elevated mood and I'm not calming down. 625 00:29:15,640 --> 00:29:18,960 You know, that's a different chemistry than just a regular person who doesn't have mood 626 00:29:18,960 --> 00:29:26,120 problems or there'll be a depression where I'll cry or argue or, you know, I don't know 627 00:29:26,120 --> 00:29:27,120 what to say. 628 00:29:27,120 --> 00:29:30,840 It's just like this guilt that comes over you going no doctor on the planet is going 629 00:29:30,840 --> 00:29:32,840 to say, oh, you're bipolar. 630 00:29:32,840 --> 00:29:35,840 You can have a couple of drinks. 631 00:29:35,840 --> 00:29:36,840 No doctor ever going to say that. 632 00:29:36,840 --> 00:29:37,840 I can't. 633 00:29:37,840 --> 00:29:38,840 How do I sit there and say I do it? 634 00:29:38,840 --> 00:29:39,840 I don't know. 635 00:29:39,840 --> 00:29:44,200 It's just I like it and I'm having fun with my friends and when it's not OK, I try not 636 00:29:44,200 --> 00:29:45,200 to do it. 637 00:29:45,200 --> 00:29:50,120 And when I but there is there is a there is a moment where I understand people who have 638 00:29:50,120 --> 00:29:54,080 alcohol dependence problems because I do want to feel better. 639 00:29:54,080 --> 00:29:55,880 I do want to elevate my mood. 640 00:29:55,880 --> 00:29:58,840 I do like how I feel after three or four glasses of wine. 641 00:29:58,840 --> 00:29:59,840 I love it. 642 00:29:59,840 --> 00:30:02,440 And there's times where that's fine. 643 00:30:02,440 --> 00:30:04,640 But then there's times where it's not fine. 644 00:30:04,640 --> 00:30:06,200 And that's what hurts my family. 645 00:30:06,200 --> 00:30:08,040 And that's what hurts me. 646 00:30:08,040 --> 00:30:09,040 And I'm not there yet. 647 00:30:09,040 --> 00:30:11,920 I have I'm just not there to give it up completely. 648 00:30:11,920 --> 00:30:15,520 I have a lifestyle that I'm enjoying and just sounds awful. 649 00:30:15,520 --> 00:30:16,520 Doesn't it? 650 00:30:16,520 --> 00:30:21,200 My brother is in recovery for many, many years and he's always talked to me about it. 651 00:30:21,200 --> 00:30:22,620 He played rugby too. 652 00:30:22,620 --> 00:30:25,880 So he was always around alcohol. 653 00:30:25,880 --> 00:30:31,160 And he would just say, just try it and just go to a meeting and just listen. 654 00:30:31,160 --> 00:30:32,800 And I'm like, I just can't really do that. 655 00:30:32,800 --> 00:30:37,440 I've got enough problems, you know, but I'm creating a problem for myself. 656 00:30:37,440 --> 00:30:38,440 I admit it. 657 00:30:38,440 --> 00:30:42,520 And, you know, I just have to have to keep trying to control it. 658 00:30:42,520 --> 00:30:46,400 And when I fuck it up, try to clean it up. 659 00:30:46,400 --> 00:30:48,480 And that doesn't right. 660 00:30:48,480 --> 00:30:51,560 And that doesn't if I don't stop, it doesn't stop. 661 00:30:51,560 --> 00:30:53,800 So it's a really hard topic for me. 662 00:30:53,800 --> 00:30:58,120 I'm still going to go have a beer this weekend and try to have fun with my friends and and 663 00:30:58,120 --> 00:31:03,880 try to have we always seek normalcy, you know, with having a beer and being able to communicate 664 00:31:03,880 --> 00:31:06,600 with other people over a glass of wine or whatever. 665 00:31:06,600 --> 00:31:09,120 And I think that's an interesting point that you brought up. 666 00:31:09,120 --> 00:31:10,120 Right. 667 00:31:10,120 --> 00:31:15,080 So periods of mania, periods of depression and moments of normalcy. 668 00:31:15,080 --> 00:31:18,680 And it does sound to me, you know, you can correct me from paraphrasing, paraphrasing 669 00:31:18,680 --> 00:31:24,840 wrongly, but those periods of normalcy are what bipolar people really do want to kind 670 00:31:24,840 --> 00:31:25,840 of extend. 671 00:31:25,840 --> 00:31:26,840 Yeah. 672 00:31:26,840 --> 00:31:28,800 Make sure that there's more of those more frequent. 673 00:31:28,800 --> 00:31:29,800 That's right. 674 00:31:29,800 --> 00:31:30,800 And that's the treatment. 675 00:31:30,800 --> 00:31:35,280 So you want to have the medicine or the therapy in place or whatever you choose to do so you 676 00:31:35,280 --> 00:31:38,400 can extend those periods and have less episodes. 677 00:31:38,400 --> 00:31:44,120 And like, of course, to go back to the alcohol, that creates that could create an episode 678 00:31:44,120 --> 00:31:46,480 or something bad happening can create episodes. 679 00:31:46,480 --> 00:31:51,360 So you don't always have control, but of course, what we can control is what we drink in the 680 00:31:51,360 --> 00:31:56,880 like water, how you move your body, how you approach your therapy, how you approach relationships 681 00:31:56,880 --> 00:32:01,720 and how you can continue to give back to the world that you know, and do good things and 682 00:32:01,720 --> 00:32:03,720 be grateful and things like that. 683 00:32:03,720 --> 00:32:10,440 I'm assuming that routine that is really beneficial to you to be able to know what's coming. 684 00:32:10,440 --> 00:32:17,080 And I guess it's the spontaneity of not knowing might cause periods of ups and downs. 685 00:32:17,080 --> 00:32:25,040 So what would be a normal day for you without, you know, like without struggle? 686 00:32:25,040 --> 00:32:26,040 Yeah. 687 00:32:26,040 --> 00:32:27,040 Okay. 688 00:32:27,040 --> 00:32:30,120 Well, first of all, it's actually wake up in the morning. 689 00:32:30,120 --> 00:32:32,160 I sleep terribly. 690 00:32:32,160 --> 00:32:34,200 I've had very hard time sleeping. 691 00:32:34,200 --> 00:32:38,440 So waking up is extremely hard for me. 692 00:32:38,440 --> 00:32:44,360 And I would say being able to wake up and get out of bed, brush my teeth, take a shower. 693 00:32:44,360 --> 00:32:48,520 Those are big things because when you're not feeling good, you don't care. 694 00:32:48,520 --> 00:32:49,520 You don't. 695 00:32:49,520 --> 00:32:53,400 That's when you also notice some function dissipates when there's less function that 696 00:32:53,400 --> 00:32:54,400 you're having a problem. 697 00:32:54,400 --> 00:33:00,240 So doing all those things, getting my getting hitting my nutrition, hitting my workouts, 698 00:33:00,240 --> 00:33:04,640 maybe going to see someone maybe doing something positive for somebody, not getting into an 699 00:33:04,640 --> 00:33:09,360 argument, having a good night out without any problems. 700 00:33:09,360 --> 00:33:14,080 That would be a normal day, you know, getting up, getting dressed, you know. 701 00:33:14,080 --> 00:33:19,080 And then let's say you've got your normal day plans and then friend messages you and 702 00:33:19,080 --> 00:33:21,080 says, Oh, let's go out tonight. 703 00:33:21,080 --> 00:33:22,080 Something's happening. 704 00:33:22,080 --> 00:33:25,360 Is that is it something like that which might throw you off a little bit? 705 00:33:25,360 --> 00:33:28,760 Or is that something that could still you can still incorporate? 706 00:33:28,760 --> 00:33:33,160 I would enjoy that and say, Woo, let's go and put on something cool. 707 00:33:33,160 --> 00:33:38,560 And it would be if I didn't want to go, that would be something that's not right. 708 00:33:38,560 --> 00:33:42,160 Because I do like to go out with my friends and I love going out to cocktail bars and 709 00:33:42,160 --> 00:33:46,720 like, you know, I'm a three cocktail person because it's too much on my stomach. 710 00:33:46,720 --> 00:33:50,440 But beer and wine is a little different with rugby and going out to dinner. 711 00:33:50,440 --> 00:33:53,200 But you know, hopefully not. 712 00:33:53,200 --> 00:33:54,200 Hopefully it's not. 713 00:33:54,200 --> 00:33:57,400 If it's a positive environment, it's a positive thing. 714 00:33:57,400 --> 00:33:59,640 No, no arguing. 715 00:33:59,640 --> 00:34:01,060 No people that suck. 716 00:34:01,060 --> 00:34:05,320 You know, because sometimes if you're around negative people, I always hope I'm not one 717 00:34:05,320 --> 00:34:06,320 of them. 718 00:34:06,320 --> 00:34:11,720 That's kind of one of my guilt, guilty feelings over the years, toxicity of being bipolar. 719 00:34:11,720 --> 00:34:15,360 But you know, I work really hard not to be. 720 00:34:15,360 --> 00:34:17,720 So you feel the energy of other people. 721 00:34:17,720 --> 00:34:18,720 I wish I didn't. 722 00:34:18,720 --> 00:34:19,720 Yeah, then activity may affect. 723 00:34:19,720 --> 00:34:20,720 Yeah, totally. 724 00:34:20,720 --> 00:34:21,720 Like, yeah, I mean, there are certain people I don't want to be around. 725 00:34:21,720 --> 00:34:22,720 Well, they always say, right, it's like, look at the five people that you're closest 726 00:34:22,720 --> 00:34:23,720 to. 727 00:34:23,720 --> 00:34:24,720 And you're not the only one. 728 00:34:24,720 --> 00:34:25,720 You're the only one. 729 00:34:25,720 --> 00:34:26,720 You're the only one. 730 00:34:26,720 --> 00:34:33,440 You're the only one, right, and you are the amalgam of those five energies. 731 00:34:33,440 --> 00:34:37,280 So it's like if you want to have something different in your life or achieve something 732 00:34:37,280 --> 00:34:41,080 different in your life, surround yourself with the people who support that. 733 00:34:41,080 --> 00:34:43,120 And I believe that, yeah, get the spheres out. 734 00:34:43,120 --> 00:34:44,120 Get the tribe out. 735 00:34:44,120 --> 00:34:45,120 So one last question. 736 00:34:45,120 --> 00:34:50,120 Well, actually, second last, okay, to use the important term second last. 737 00:34:50,120 --> 00:34:54,080 Mental health issues in general still carry a lot of stigma. 738 00:34:54,080 --> 00:35:00,120 And I feel even I feel even more so in Singapore, particularly like in traditional Singaporean 739 00:35:00,120 --> 00:35:04,760 homes where it's like you don't talk about it, like you deal with it, maybe or not even 740 00:35:04,760 --> 00:35:05,760 don't deal with it. 741 00:35:05,760 --> 00:35:06,760 Well, just don't talk about it. 742 00:35:06,760 --> 00:35:13,520 How do you suggest that women who are in situations where it's not safe or it's not well respected 743 00:35:13,520 --> 00:35:17,320 to be open with their mental health struggles, how do they then find support? 744 00:35:17,320 --> 00:35:19,200 You can't get it from their families. 745 00:35:19,200 --> 00:35:22,800 Just you know, they have that in the book, go outside of your family and go to your friends, 746 00:35:22,800 --> 00:35:27,760 go to a church group, go to a sporting team that you're involved with, go to maybe you 747 00:35:27,760 --> 00:35:30,200 have HR at work that has a support system. 748 00:35:30,200 --> 00:35:35,360 I would say look everywhere that you can outside of the family so you have someone to talk 749 00:35:35,360 --> 00:35:36,360 to. 750 00:35:36,360 --> 00:35:38,640 I have a really great family. 751 00:35:38,640 --> 00:35:41,820 Sometimes being so far away, it's hard for them to get the context. 752 00:35:41,820 --> 00:35:43,880 And I feel like a real burden sometimes. 753 00:35:43,880 --> 00:35:47,920 And I also I understand the stigma, not from them, from me even. 754 00:35:47,920 --> 00:35:49,920 I still have hard on myself. 755 00:35:49,920 --> 00:35:52,960 You know, like I'm the toxic one and that's a terrible feeling. 756 00:35:52,960 --> 00:35:54,680 But no, go outside the family. 757 00:35:54,680 --> 00:35:55,680 Maybe you have a dog. 758 00:35:55,680 --> 00:35:58,280 I had a dog really helped with my mental health. 759 00:35:58,280 --> 00:36:02,040 It was psychiatric service dog and a rescue dog. 760 00:36:02,040 --> 00:36:08,920 So I would say you do have to look outside of your circle of family. 761 00:36:08,920 --> 00:36:12,320 And you never know if there's someone in the family that has the same things. 762 00:36:12,320 --> 00:36:16,360 When my book came out, I got about four messages from my family, my extended family. 763 00:36:16,360 --> 00:36:17,360 Yeah, same. 764 00:36:17,360 --> 00:36:18,360 Me too. 765 00:36:18,360 --> 00:36:19,360 This sounds like me. 766 00:36:19,360 --> 00:36:20,360 That's so important, Andrea. 767 00:36:20,360 --> 00:36:24,440 I think a lot of guests, it's like we're always talking about these experiences that are hard. 768 00:36:24,440 --> 00:36:28,120 And obviously today has been hard for you and painful for you to share some of your 769 00:36:28,120 --> 00:36:29,120 deepest thoughts. 770 00:36:29,120 --> 00:36:30,120 But people need to hear that. 771 00:36:30,120 --> 00:36:35,120 Because if we all keep talking reality under the rug, then we never actually get to have 772 00:36:35,120 --> 00:36:36,120 the conversations that are tough. 773 00:36:36,120 --> 00:36:37,120 You can't be afraid. 774 00:36:37,120 --> 00:36:41,200 I may be suffering, but I'm not afraid. 775 00:36:41,200 --> 00:36:45,840 And I think that's the thing that I'm out there leaving there with my spear and saying, 776 00:36:45,840 --> 00:36:47,760 I'm going to fight it. 777 00:36:47,760 --> 00:36:50,000 And struggle and let's do it together. 778 00:36:50,000 --> 00:36:51,000 And if you need me, I'm here. 779 00:36:51,000 --> 00:36:54,520 So let's spin it to a positive note, my dear. 780 00:36:54,520 --> 00:36:55,520 You are past your 40s. 781 00:36:55,520 --> 00:36:56,520 Yeah, I am. 782 00:36:56,520 --> 00:37:02,080 You have lived this decade in its entirety and come out the other side. 783 00:37:02,080 --> 00:37:04,280 What is your 40s formula? 784 00:37:04,280 --> 00:37:09,400 So if you think back to this period of life, what is the most important formula for helping 785 00:37:09,400 --> 00:37:11,480 women thrive during this time? 786 00:37:11,480 --> 00:37:12,480 Okay. 787 00:37:12,480 --> 00:37:19,920 I will lean towards the para menopause menopause and say, pay attention to your body. 788 00:37:19,920 --> 00:37:22,320 You have family that are pulling you away. 789 00:37:22,320 --> 00:37:24,480 Children, extended family issues. 790 00:37:24,480 --> 00:37:28,040 You've got to look in the mirror every day and say, I'm number one. 791 00:37:28,040 --> 00:37:30,000 That does not happen a lot. 792 00:37:30,000 --> 00:37:36,160 And in your 40s, that's when you're getting pulled away and pulled to the teenagers and 793 00:37:36,160 --> 00:37:37,160 the job. 794 00:37:37,160 --> 00:37:39,560 And if you don't have a job, what's the pressure there? 795 00:37:39,560 --> 00:37:41,080 And how do you support your husband? 796 00:37:41,080 --> 00:37:45,880 I just really think that putting yourself as number one, that's, that would be my formula. 797 00:37:45,880 --> 00:37:46,880 That's what I did. 798 00:37:46,880 --> 00:37:51,680 You know, I drive, I did my best and I did struggle with the para menopause and menopause. 799 00:37:51,680 --> 00:37:56,160 I did struggle with bipolar, but like you said, I came out on the other end and, and 800 00:37:56,160 --> 00:38:00,240 I'll say it again for maybe the fourth time, like get your people together, get your girls 801 00:38:00,240 --> 00:38:01,240 together. 802 00:38:01,240 --> 00:38:03,760 You have talks about it, share, support each other. 803 00:38:03,760 --> 00:38:07,760 Don't be afraid to share because when you share, you're helping someone else, even if 804 00:38:07,760 --> 00:38:08,760 they never tell you. 805 00:38:08,760 --> 00:38:09,760 That's right. 806 00:38:09,760 --> 00:38:10,760 You know? 807 00:38:10,760 --> 00:38:14,640 So I would say keep the tribe going and, and put yourself first. 808 00:38:14,640 --> 00:38:15,640 That's amazing. 809 00:38:15,640 --> 00:38:21,000 I think a lot of people do forget that they are also someone they need to look after. 810 00:38:21,000 --> 00:38:22,000 Yes. 811 00:38:22,000 --> 00:38:25,000 Your husband first, your kids first, your kids. 812 00:38:25,000 --> 00:38:29,920 And I think putting some of that focus on you can really help, you know, through this 813 00:38:29,920 --> 00:38:30,920 decade. 814 00:38:30,920 --> 00:38:31,920 Yeah, I completely agree. 815 00:38:31,920 --> 00:38:36,240 And Andrea, thank you so much for being here, being vulnerable with us, being willing to 816 00:38:36,240 --> 00:38:38,240 share not only the highs, but the lows. 817 00:38:38,240 --> 00:38:39,240 And we so appreciate that from you. 818 00:38:39,240 --> 00:38:40,240 You're welcome. 819 00:38:40,240 --> 00:38:41,240 Thank you. 820 00:38:41,240 --> 00:38:42,240 Thanks for having me. 821 00:38:42,240 --> 00:38:43,240 Welcome. 822 00:38:43,240 --> 00:38:48,520 Want more from the 40s Formula? 823 00:38:48,520 --> 00:38:53,040 Every Friday we'll be sending our 4Play Friday newsletter direct to your inbox with four hot 824 00:38:53,040 --> 00:38:57,120 topics, tips and trends personally curated by Jasmine and Amanda. 825 00:38:57,120 --> 00:39:01,920 All you need to do is visit the40sformula.com and sign up with your email address. 826 00:39:01,920 --> 00:39:08,200 That's the F-O-R-T-I-E-S formula.com. 827 00:39:08,200 --> 00:39:10,160 This is Paul, our editor. 828 00:39:10,160 --> 00:39:15,160 He's a 25 year old unmarried Singaporean guy listening to the ramblings of 12 older women 829 00:39:15,160 --> 00:39:18,960 on everything from menopause to weightlifting to sex. 830 00:39:18,960 --> 00:39:22,920 So Paul, what's your thoughts on today's conversation? 831 00:39:22,920 --> 00:39:24,520 Bipolar Phoenix. 832 00:39:24,520 --> 00:39:29,800 It's quite a remarkable name, you know, having the image of rising off the ashes. 833 00:39:29,800 --> 00:39:31,960 I think that's pretty amazing. 834 00:39:31,960 --> 00:39:38,600 And I think that when it comes to mental health, there's a lot of stigmatization and misunderstandings. 835 00:39:38,600 --> 00:39:45,240 But hey, Andrea, for what you did, the steps to write your own book and from your perspective 836 00:39:45,240 --> 00:39:47,720 and your story, I think it's pretty remarkable. 837 00:39:47,720 --> 00:39:56,000 So keep on fighting and know that you're loved no matter how you feel. 838 00:39:56,000 --> 00:40:01,240 Just a quick side note, this is actually going to be my last season with the 40s Formula. 839 00:40:01,240 --> 00:40:06,720 It's been a real privilege and honor to be able to edit the episodes, record the episodes 840 00:40:06,720 --> 00:40:11,160 and to also learn quite a number of new things with you guys. 841 00:40:11,160 --> 00:40:13,200 So it's been a nice, exciting journey. 842 00:40:13,200 --> 00:40:16,880 I'll be going back to school, or rather I'm actually already back in school. 843 00:40:16,880 --> 00:40:19,940 I'm currently doing a master's in music therapy. 844 00:40:19,940 --> 00:40:24,880 So I'll see you guys around and hopefully, yeah, hopefully we get to chat. 845 00:40:24,880 --> 00:40:37,280 So stay safe, stay healthy and peace out. 846 00:40:37,280 --> 00:40:38,280 Guys, you know how much we love coffee. 847 00:40:38,280 --> 00:40:41,240 And if you want to show us some love, you know you can get us one. 848 00:40:41,240 --> 00:40:45,720 Just visit buymeacoffee.com slash the 40s Formula. 849 00:40:45,720 --> 00:40:48,360 Cheers. 850 00:40:48,360 --> 00:40:53,280 Before we go, please remember to hit subscribe and take a moment to support the 40s Formula 851 00:40:53,280 --> 00:40:56,720 by leaving a review on your favorite podcast platform. 852 00:40:56,720 --> 00:41:00,520 Your reviews will help us to reach more people and allow us to continue to bring valuable 853 00:41:00,520 --> 00:41:01,520 content. 854 00:41:01,520 --> 00:41:04,620 It should only take a moment and it's a free way for you to support the show. 855 00:41:04,620 --> 00:41:10,400 You can also stay updated with the 40s Formula by following us on Instagram at the 40s Formula, 856 00:41:10,400 --> 00:41:11,620 all one word. 857 00:41:11,620 --> 00:41:15,160 We share behind the scenes insights, episode updates and much more. 858 00:41:15,160 --> 00:41:17,840 So please be sure to hit that follow button. 859 00:41:17,840 --> 00:41:19,480 We appreciate your time and support. 860 00:41:19,480 --> 00:41:22,680 Thank you for being part of this community and we'll be back next week for more empowering 861 00:41:22,680 --> 00:41:25,080 conversations with inspiring guests. 862 00:41:25,080 --> 00:41:53,120 Bye. 863 00:41:55,080 --> 00:42:14,880 I was ready when I asked you. 864 00:42:14,880 --> 00:42:15,880 Yes. 865 00:42:15,880 --> 00:42:20,880 I was like you wouldn't have reached out if I didn't have time. 866 00:42:20,880 --> 00:42:26,720 I think the book already exists. 867 00:42:26,720 --> 00:42:27,720 Every day is World Mental Health Day. 868 00:42:27,720 --> 00:42:28,720 For me. 869 00:42:28,720 --> 00:42:29,720 I don't want to say that. 870 00:42:29,720 --> 00:42:30,720 Say that out loud. 871 00:42:30,720 --> 00:42:51,520 That's a great like every day is World Mental Health Day.