So when I say the alpha for most of the women I serve,
they will not like that word.
That's why it's also triggering.
One of the things that I had to do
in the last couple of years is remove the word successful,
high achiever from my marketing
because I realized that my clients don't like it.
Why, I totally like with it.
But it's beautiful that we have this conversation, right?
Hey, hey, and welcome to the 40s Formula,
your go-to place for insightful discussions
on navigating the 40s and thriving
in this transformative decade.
We're your hosts, Jasmine and Amanda,
two women that are passionate about exploring
the challenges and adventures that come with turning 40
and what lies ahead.
Ileka Tasker guides business leaders and organizations
to manage their energy to have more impact.
With over 10 years of coaching experience,
a restaurateur, food consultant, and professional speaker,
Ileka is the trusted advisor for those that seek more peace,
joy, and harmony personally and professionally.
She is featured in documentaries with Channel News Asia, Media
Corps, and is a member of Asia Professional Speakers
Association.
Her signature program, the Health Concierge,
integrates her knowledge of evolutionary biology
and quantum physics in a lifestyle and coaching support
system that has guided hundreds of leaders
to be in the top 10% by reaching physical, mental,
and emotional well-being.
So today we have the privilege of interviewing
one of our wellness colleagues, Ileka Tasker.
She is a specialist in energy optimization.
She works with high achievers to reach the next level
in their careers.
She has a long and storied list of clients
that we are so lucky to have here with us today.
Welcome, Ileka.
Thank you so much, Lady, for having me.
I'm so excited to delve into this topic.
Yeah.
Let's delve in, girl.
Let's talk about the reason you're here today, which
is something that you and I kind of had an off air chat about
that I thought was so intriguing.
And that's the concept of the elite alpha.
So can you talk us through, just first of all,
how you define it?
What is the elite alpha?
And why is this revolutionary in wellness?
Yeah.
You know, it's always very difficult
when I share new topics like this,
because I'm very conscious of how
I am where I see things usually before they actually
hit most people.
And so elite alpha is one of those.
And I'm going to tell you, it's also
going to be one of those things that we're
going to be talking about for years
after this conversation.
But for me, what this definition is,
is it goes back to a lot of principles
that I teach around evolution and biology, quantum physics,
and even anthropology about how we are as humans
and how we're designed and have been for thousands of years.
So one of the things that we know from that
is that we are social creatures.
We moved in tribes for survival.
And in those tribes, every single person had a unique gift.
And that was so important for the tribe's survival.
And so if you can imagine the men,
they were the hunters and the women,
they would want staying in safety in the tribe.
But within that tribe, there was always
a woman that had to have more of the alpha gene for that troop
to survive, for that community to survive.
And if you can imagine, if all of them
had that kind of genetic code, that kind of
wouldn't be too good.
Truthfully, I don't want everyone to be like me.
So this comes back to this sort of genome that exists.
And in my work, I have been starting
to slowly see the patterns of women
that I serve noticing, firstly, they're more like me.
And secondly, they have these traits, not all of them.
But I would say about 80% of the women,
and I coach men and women, have this.
And so I've started, because I look at testing and all that,
I start to notice that.
So a couple of things that I've noticed is, from a genome
point of view, that we look at the blood types.
They tend to have blood type O.
Not me.
Now, blood type O was known as the original blood type,
the meat eaters, and more of the carnivore.
Not to say that they are all of that,
but this was what is linked to that.
Remember, some people are not on the pathway
of their most authentic self.
So they don't even know, they're not even
behaving the way they should.
But that's one of the things.
The other thing is, when we study brain waves and brain
activity, and not everybody gets their brain studied like I do.
I am a neuroscientist on the health concierge,
so I get mine.
I actually examine.
But they have more of an alpha brain wave activity.
The alpha brain wave activity is this slow state.
So we stay in this higher state of frequencies
where we just do things with so little effort.
And this is the other thing that I see.
When we look at the microbiome, when
we look at the gut activity, we can also
start noticing all of the bacteria that we have.
And so lactobacillus, this is one of those.
So I see all of that activity happening.
So interestingly, I am, in my own work,
starting to understand how do I serve these people even more
powerfully since it looks like I have a breed of women
within my community that I need to serve
in a completely different way and support them
in a different way.
So does that kind of give you a bit of feel for it?
Yeah, it does.
And there are, because one of the questions is going to be,
are there commonalities between the elite alphas
that you see in you, Coach?
And you're telling me, yes.
You're seeing brain waves.
You're seeing it in gut health.
You're seeing it in, obviously, behavior as well.
Yeah, diet.
I just want to try and figure out.
So you said that you get this elite alpha in a tribe,
like a female, who we need to keep everyone together.
Was that just for the females?
Or is there then an elite alpha who
tends to be the male who then keeps everyone in check?
Because, yeah, I mean, usually when you think of alpha,
you do think of males.
But I don't know.
I'm trying to get my head around this whole thing.
Yeah.
That's it.
I love that.
I think in this conversation, I'd
love to break it down into the work, the relationships,
and the health of these elite alphas
and how I distinguish it by those categories.
But to answer your question, yes, in the males,
we see it as well.
So just look at the studies that they do around chimps.
Look at their brilliance activity.
Look what they do.
They show their balls.
They show.
And actually, when they studied them,
they literally can see that more alpha one has bigger balls.
Yeah.
Literally.
Oh, I've heard that.
So yes, we see it.
And these are conversations that, honestly, I
like to put a trigger a lot when I talk about some
of these things.
Because I know it's really triggering for some people
to talk about these things.
Imagine I'm telling them that there is a group of women that
may be more elite in how they can do things.
Now, I'm not saying they're elite in all ways.
I'm going to talk about the weaknesses.
But it can be triggering for some people.
But yes, in men, it's obvious.
We see this.
We see it when we look in our community.
We see that guy that doesn't have a problem in getting women,
doesn't have a problem in reaching the top of his career.
And we'll say, I remember speaking to an old client of mine.
And he said he works for one of the big four tech companies.
And he said, Anika, to be honest with you, I look at my team.
And there's so much more clever than I am.
I'm surrounded by super intelligent beings.
And I will tell you, the reason I've got my job
is because of how I look, because of where I come from,
and because when you put me in front of the countries
that I serve, like China, like Thailand,
like the Philippines, like Malaysia,
me being present in those rooms will mean
that we can close the end deals.
That's the truth.
And that is, like you said, hard pill to swallow for folks.
My husband is one of these folks.
He's going to hate me for bringing stuff.
But in time, here's the deal.
So my husband is exactly who you described.
He is physically attractive.
He's so good.
But he owns a room, never had a problem getting girls,
was always like, you know, like, any people hate this.
But it's true.
That's never been something he had to try for.
It just happens, right?
And then with his career, same thing, right?
He has been, he went to medical school.
You know, he's reached like Asian elite status, right?
Based on, he's a doctor, successful businessman, whatever.
Here's the thing, though.
This is what I want to bring up.
He would never identify as an elite alpha.
He never would.
And I think, you know, he would identify as this,
like the thing that the teens are saying right now.
So Sigma, this is the whole Gen Z.
The Sigma is apparently the guy who's like,
and the guy, gal, whoever,
you're successful, but you're a loner.
You don't find that.
That's my husband.
Right?
And this is where my husband would, I think,
maybe accept that he's an elite Sigma.
He's not successful because of his handsomeness.
He's not successful because he followed the crowd
of Asians going to medical school.
No, he actually did something wildly different.
Yeah.
And again, on paper, it was a certain way
that I think he would say that he lived his life
quite independently, uniquely.
I mean, Marion Arnmoke was like one of the ways
in which I think it shows his Sigma status.
Yeah.
It's different.
Can you talk to me about, is there an intersection
between the alphas and the lone wolves,
or are they the same?
Yeah.
I mean, you know, this is what I love
about these sorts of things,
because it depends which bit you want in zoning.
Because if I was zoning on alpha,
and I think of brainwave activity, right?
If we were to study his brainwave activity, right?
Is it theta? Is it more theta?
So then we might go, look, he's predominantly in alpha.
If you've studied my brainwave activity,
I'm in alpha, so much.
So it really depends.
But what we do know is, again, when we look at the tribe
and we look at the individual roles in the tribe,
there had to be somebody that was out on their own
on the lookout.
You'd stick that person on the lookout for danger.
So what did that person develop in their skills?
They learned to be good or lone.
They learned like a primal instinct
that to look out for danger,
but not need somebody else to feed them information.
Maybe it was their environment.
Maybe it was the senses.
Different senses were developed to do that.
So you could say that the lone wolf,
you know, their social creature at some point
when they were born, in a hospital bed or at home,
in the camp.
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Now, back to the chat.
Very much still social creatures.
So going back to relationships,
when you have an elite alpha female,
is she attracted to or a particular type of male?
Now, I'm just trying to see, like, two outlets.
Does that work?
Is it, because when I've seen certain,
you know, you will see a female who's, like,
maybe more domineering, dominant in a relationship.
Generally, her partner tends to be a bit more quiet.
And does that work better?
Like, what do you kind of find in terms of energies and...
What is this actually called?
Relationships.
Yeah, and just like, that's all right.
Well, you know, how I teach my elite alphas
is exactly what I would do for myself,
because I put myself in that category.
So let's talk a little bit about the feminine
and masculine energy to explain that principle.
So these are not gender principles.
These are energetic principles.
Every single person has feminine and masculine energy.
So men have it and women have it.
The feminine energy is that part of us
that is more flowing, more creative.
Think about dance, think about art, think about nature.
And the masculine container is more structured.
Think about processes, think about systems, right?
So if I think about it in the sense of the river,
the river is just flowing.
She sees a rock, she manages to go over it,
she waves it around, she goes over the waterfall.
But the river needs a riverbank,
because without the riverbank, that's a flood, right?
There's no doubt, there's nothing to contain it.
So that is how I would translate feminine and masculine.
So what I see is that these types of strong women,
definition of strong, let's keep that open for now,
what they need is a strong riverbank.
They need a strong container.
So if they have a guy that's, for example,
you know, got issues with his self-worth
or he's still trying to figure out who he is in his life,
especially around purpose,
if he's still trying to figure out that,
unfortunately, he's not going to have the capacity
to manage and hold the container of the power of this woman.
So of course, then you're gonna get into this,
oh, she's too in a masculine, oh, she's too domineering.
You're gonna hear all those things there.
No, she's not.
She is elite.
And she just needs a strong container.
And do you have that strong container
in which to contain her, right?
And so that's what I see if you're done
answering the relationships.
And that's why you see that sometimes
what these elite alphas will go for
is they will go for a guy that's not super into like,
having a successful career
and being the top of his game in all of these things.
He's not like the six-pack guy or anything like that.
But actually, he tends to have more of a structured career.
So you tend to see things like engineers,
tech people, like the stable kind of,
what do we call them, blue collar type jobs, right?
They seem to have more of those that they provide,
they put the food on the table, there's more stability.
There's not the, unfortunately,
the highs and the lows of an entrepreneur
where you don't know if the money's coming in one day.
That doesn't really give her that sense of safety and security.
Not to say it can't be.
Again, all of us can do our individual inner work
and get to the prime of that.
And then what you see in her is that
if she doesn't have that, she can't settle.
So she starts to question herself,
or maybe I should be less, a little bit less.
Maybe I shouldn't go for that promotion.
And all of those things.
Does that explain it?
Yeah.
And just really quickly, does it work the same with guys?
For example, if you've got an elite guy,
is he better off with an elite female,
or do you find that he will then tend to feel better
with somebody who's maybe a little bit on the back then?
You know how they always say behind every successful man
is a strong woman.
Yeah.
Is it true?
You know, I believe that everybody
has a different phase of their life.
So if this was my son, I would say,
earlier in his life, I'd say, go do your education,
get the education that you need with children.
I don't mean go and send them to our current education system
right now, but go get the education that you need.
And then if you think about 20s and then the early 20s,
they're coming out of their education.
That's to me a time where a guy in his life
should be accumulating as much knowledge
and as much skills, as much wisdom as he possibly can.
Having mentors and doing a million things as possible
and finding their niche, right?
And at this point, if they meet this woman,
really what they should find is,
who is the woman that's going to support
their career development?
Who is the woman that when they're going out
and they enter this point where they know what they wanna do
and then they're building their career,
who is the woman that could sit and support that?
To be honest, is that the woman, being honest,
that's gonna be out all the time, every day,
like building their own career?
Unlikely.
Does he wanna have children?
You know, again, is this the woman
that she's putting her career aside at this time
when he's building his career?
And again, I'm not allowing for age differences
or anything here.
Is this the woman that's going to allow that
or is this the woman that's gonna be happy to nurture,
take care of the children while he's building his career?
So do you see?
But again, in my prime in my life, right,
I'm 42 right now, and I have this beautiful ability
to be able to select.
And having been married before and having seen,
had an amazing partner, but I hadn't done my inner work,
we hadn't done our inner work, I met him when I was 17.
Like having this amazing opportunity that I have now
to reselect from the tribe, I am making decisions
because I understand this is the most important decision
I can make.
But for example, I tend to date upwards in terms of age.
And when I look at that guy, I think about,
okay, well, if he's already got his career,
made himself, knows who he is,
does he care if his partner's more alpha?
No, right?
So depends on the season.
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Now back to the chat.
So seasonal match, I hear that.
And I'm also telling you this, Mary, before,
and for a lot of the reasons you're describing,
it was like, you know, in the world where we are never,
who knows, but in that season was not the right time.
Because there is, you know, there's seasonality
to even these like, like you said, archetypes, right?
I'm most interested in the health dimension, right?
So obviously that is like my biggest passion,
what I do for work.
How does an elite athlete differ in her health practices
in the way that she embodies her health?
Like where do you see the elite alphas
excelling through health?
Yeah, well, because she can do it all,
doesn't mean she should do it all.
And so, you know, sometimes when you have an abundance
of something, you don't really appreciate it.
So let's relate this to, let's imagine water.
In some countries in the world, a tap dripping water,
you'd be like, what, oh my gosh,
because there's a scarcity mindset around water.
Whereas all of us, let's be honest,
we don't have a problem if we shower too long,
if the tap drips a little bit, we're not.
Because we have an abundance of it.
We tend to have more of an abundance of our energy.
And because we have an abundance of energy,
unfortunately, we are not managing it well.
So we give it to everything, everyone,
a ton of places, a ton of people.
And so for us, it's actually quite easy
to have this burnout, to suffer from the autoimmune ceases
because we just pour and pour and pour.
And here's our to-do list.
Oh, you want me to do that as well?
Oh yeah, I can.
Oh, okay.
And we just add and add and add to our to-do list.
So one of the things that I also notice
that we have to take away to-do lists from us
because we just know how to add to it.
So when I look at the health, I think about, okay,
if this is a person that is gonna go, go, go, go, go,
she's gonna burn out her adrenal glands for sure, right?
She's gonna have the thyroid issues.
She's probably already had burnout
or is on the way to burnout, right?
So how do I take care of, from an organ point of view,
how do I nurture these organs, right?
That are responsible for managing energy,
anything around metabolism, right?
I also need to look after her liver because guess what?
She tends to have all of that energy.
She tends to be more fiery.
So the liver in Chinese medicine
is also managing the emotion of anger.
So on an emotional level, I need to look at things
like anger and resentment in her life.
So I work a lot on the emotional capacity of those emotions
and how she works through those, right?
So on the emotional side, on the mental wellbeing,
there's that, on the physical side,
there's let me look at her movement patterns
and let me look at does she have yin,
more softer, more nurturing, more nourishing?
Because this lady, she's gonna be like,
you want me to lift weights?
How much, how heavy do you want me to lift?
Exactly, exactly, what you got.
Yeah, yeah.
So I'm like, okay.
So she's not gonna have a problem
in me getting her to work out.
She's gonna have a problem in me getting her to balance,
as we would say in Asia, the yin and the yang,
to balance the more harder workouts
where she's sweating, she knows she's pushing it,
she knows she's worked out hard with the,
are you okay doing a bit of yin, yoga, some stuff?
Are you okay with just stretching today?
I was just gonna say, are you okay with a day off?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.
Like this is terrifying. Exactly.
It is, it is.
You know, are you okay with a walk in park
and just observing nature?
You can imagine, right? Yeah.
So I need to balance that.
So we can see these different elements
in the physical body.
I'm working on combination of the yin and the yang,
the soft and the hard in her workouts.
In the mental body, I'm looking at where does she have space?
Space for ideas and new things to come in
without her having to get it through,
having to work harder, having to ask a million people,
having to read a ton of books,
having to listen to a ton of podcasts.
She can get those downloads that she needs
by creating space for her mind to receive new insights
is a co-creation always with the universe.
In her emotional body, I'm looking at those emotions
that tend to be more fiery, so the anger, the resentment.
And then in the nutrition,
I'm looking at things like adaptogens.
She needs adaptogens, right?
So I'm looking at things like the adaptogens
like Tulsi Ashwagandha that help her
to calm her nervous system.
It's really weird.
I genuinely feel like you have been describing me
to a certain, to a fairly extent.
Yeah, I've got type, I'm an O-negative.
Oh, my clay is really sweet.
I've got thyroid issues. Yeah.
I've got, you know, like,
I feel like I've always got things I need to do.
I don't really take a moment to just switch off.
Like, even when I'm walking, I'll be listening to a podcast
that I need to get things in.
But I don't feel like I am an elite alpha.
Yeah. Why?
I don't know.
And I'm wondering, I have no idea.
Like, these are things I feel like,
oh yeah, you know, that sounds like me,
that sounds like me, that sounds like me.
But I don't know if I, now, the way I am now,
whether I'm gonna be that person who will go into a room
and try to dominate.
Maybe in the past, I may have had moments of,
okay, this is my time to shine.
But I don't know, can you change?
Can you take a step?
I'll tell you why.
I'll tell you why you don't relate to it.
Because I totally feel you.
Firstly, words have meanings.
If you speak multiple languages, you'll understand,
especially in the English language,
where there's like one word for love.
So I love my back the same way as I love you, right?
Yeah.
The words are just the meanings we associate with them.
When I say butterfly and cockroach,
animals, but look at the meaning you have.
So this is our cognitive bias.
So when I say the alpha,
for most of the women that I serve,
they will not like that word.
That's why it's also triggering.
One of the things that I had to do
in the last couple of years is remove the word successful,
high achiever from my marketing.
Because I've realized that my clients don't like it.
I don't like it, but.
It's beautiful that we have this conversation, right?
Because I know that my clients, they don't relate to that.
You know why?
When we've experienced life in the way that we've had,
and we've had these burnouts,
and we've done the call for women,
go, go, go, go, go,
and we've burned our body out,
our emotional, our mental wellbeing has taken a toll.
We start noticing all of the beliefs that we had
that led us to that.
And some of those are related to those meanings
that we have when we think of the word elite alpha.
And actually, what I say about my clients
is they're extremely heart-centered.
What that means is they give a ton of themselves
to people, places, and things,
and they put themselves last.
And that's usually one of the reasons
why they get to the burnout state.
And so what we are is deeply loving,
deeply nurturing, deeply heart-centered women.
And does that mean then that I have to be the top
of the game, the competitor, and all that?
Doesn't mean that I don't have these natures,
but do I wanna be that person that go, go, go,
like, no, I always knew, even when I was in corporate,
and I had to be at the top of my game
because they measured me by my numbers,
how much money am I putting on the board.
Even then, I knew there was a part of me that was like,
I wanna do this with people holding onto me on the way up,
not stepping on people on the way up.
And the reason I left was that part of me
that wasn't allowed to do that in order to be successful,
I couldn't buy into it.
I hate hierarchy, I hate it.
And so that part of me that would look at,
that would speak to the cleaner
the same way I'd speak to my VP,
I realized that that wasn't gonna get me success
in that environment.
And so I believe that that might be part of why some of us,
when we hear these words, elite alpha,
professional high achievement, we're like,
yeah, could be.
Yeah, and I always think about the concept of eliteness
or alphaness or whatever associated closely with age.
So for me, and this is a direct example from like my,
and those listening, very amateurish crossfit career.
So here I am 41, about to be 42,
so I'm in the 40 to 44 age group.
I'm mildly competitive, mildly, right?
I am okay, I will never be the last.
I will never be the winner.
But I always joke, when I'm in the 70 to 75 age group,
I'm gonna be taking names.
I'm not gonna lie, because what I don't ever do
is give up or take a break or take a pause.
As competitive as I am now is as competitive as I was
when I was 14 in gymnastics is as competitive as I'm gonna be
at 75 with those old ass ladies lifting that barbell.
And so it's like, I technically get more elite as I age
simply because I don't slow down or I don't give up.
I allow the best of my ability and that gets better
as I get older because my peers fall back.
I couldn't agree with you more.
I say to people, if you think this now of me, watch me.
Because I tell you, I have not even hit my prime.
I get better with age, like why in what I tell you,
I get wiser.
And I know, oh my gosh, I so believe this to be true.
And exactly like you, when I was younger,
I was a natural athlete.
So I remember doing my first half marathon.
I only went to Amsterdam because I could go
on a binge weekend.
And so I was like, okay, I'll go, I'll go.
But you know, my coach was like,
if you could just train properly.
And then I did the half marathon, I came ninth female
and I did it in one hour, 26.
Wow, amazing.
Yeah, you know, and-
For the non-routing community, that's a great time.
That's a real good time.
And I promise you, I didn't train.
I just like, you know, shut rocked up and had a good time.
But back then that was because also I didn't need to.
Right?
And so, and those are part of me that would do
what I needed to do and still have the competitive strike.
But the thing that you really needed to be to do the best,
I would never do it.
I never cared enough about that.
Because what I cared, what do I care?
The relationships, the social side of it,
the people side of it.
So when I got into my corporate career, it was the same.
I was always in those top few billers in the corporate.
I was in consultancy, I was in HR, I did recruitment.
I was always in those top few billers.
Would I be number one?
Never, why?
Because you know what I had to do to be number one?
I wasn't prepared to do it.
I wasn't prepared to do it, right?
And so as I go, you guys know that I deeply value
human design as part of my work.
Because it really gives me and the clients
this roadmap to our authentic self.
And in human design, we have these different types
of profiles and one of them is a line, call it a line six.
And a line six, which is what I have,
is considered a role model.
But basically what it means is the first 30 years
of our life is just trying and testing.
And good and bad.
So whenever you meet a six line,
you know they've been through crap, right?
And so the beautiful thing of it is the six lines,
we start to hit our prime at 50.
Wow, you're eight years away?
Yeah, so that means I know,
and yeah, I could know intellectually,
but I'm experiencing it, I'm experiencing right now.
But there's a part of me that's like,
I do still feel the bruises of what I had to go through
in my life and I still feel a bit sore,
but I can tell it's over.
And there's a part of me that's like,
really, I get to have this life
because I have a cellular memory of my old life.
And then there's this other part of me that sees how,
yes, a bit like you, that I can see that when I'm 50,
because I'm so consistent in my habits
and they're so integrated, I will continue to do this.
And the people that try this diet will fail
because they just try it.
The people that do this exercise at this extreme,
they won't be able to do it.
Exactly, and I'll watch them go through their binges
of whatever the newest thing that's in trend.
And I will continue to do what human beings have done
for thousands and thousands of years.
And I will continue to prioritize my relationships
as the number one factor in my wellbeing.
And that will always mean that I won't be extreme in anything
because that's probably gonna sacrifice my relationships,
but I will do good in all of it.
And that is such a powerful way of framing it, right?
Is that you are not doing anything that is crazy,
extreme, insane, and I think when you hear Elite Alpha,
you think they've got secrets, right?
They're doing something that the rest of us can't achieve
or attain because it's so far beyond.
Yeah, we're not like that.
Yeah, we're not like that, exactly.
We can never have that.
What I'm hearing you saying is that it's actually
by kind of scaling back to your authentic self
and to what humans authentically are
that's giving, that's allowing you to have that.
That's it.
Because there's something in our genome that knows,
think about, sometimes it's the same in human design,
we talk about this, everybody's looking at it
from the perspective of now, but you have to think about,
we were designed to live in a different environment now.
Every single organ, muscle, tissue, our thoughts,
everything is heart-wide, our nervous system's heart-wide
for a completely different environment to what it's now.
So as technology is advancing at the speed of light,
evolutionary terms, we don't evolve that fast.
We're still the same.
And so when I look back, I think about things like,
the fact that, for example, food.
Like, the elite outfit, she would have been able
to go longer periods of time in giving her food
to her tribal members to take care of them,
to nurture them and to nourish them, because she can,
I mean, I just started fasting,
I was gonna do a 24-hour fast,
it turned out to be 72 hours.
I'm like, go for it.
We're like, 72 hours?
I'm like, that's just so me.
It's like, I woke up that morning, my body's like,
I'm still not ready to eat, and I just keep on going,
I keep on going, I keep on going.
But I make sure everybody else is fed, right?
And because think about it,
there wouldn't have been food available,
so there needed to be one person
that was able to go longer without it.
We go...
Now I'm laughing because I think about me.
Yeah, yeah.
Because up until maybe six weeks ago,
I was fasting three times a week for 36 hours.
Prior to that, my longest fast was 72 hours,
and I'm still feeding my kids, making food for my husband,
you know, making sure everyone else is fed.
Okay, so now I'm starting to think,
huh, they might, you know, maybe I have to be out
for without realizing I am.
Yeah, and it's everything.
Like, if we built something, right,
a storm could have come at home.
And remember, again, think about our primal ancestors.
You know, men would have been out hunting,
so of course they need that.
One of the women, if they couldn't come back
with enough food, still needed to make sure everyone's okay.
But think about the environment.
Like, let's say in our camp, right?
The camp could have, the storm could have blown it away,
burned it away, anything could have happened.
And we would need that instinct in us to,
no, don't worry, we can rebuild it.
And if you watch how we are, like,
I see this sometimes in my business.
I see it in relationships as well.
Sometimes if I'm like, I don't like it,
I will literally burn the whole thing down.
I will like take all my videos down.
I will like go, scrap it, and I'll just do it again.
Somebody else would be like, okay, no, no, no,
that takes a bit of time.
And they would take longer to do it,
and they would do it properly,
but they wouldn't burn it.
I would just start the whole thing again.
If you look at my life, you will see,
just in Singapore, the 14 years of Singapore,
I've had my corporate career.
Then I left there with burnout.
I had my restaurant career, where I was told
one in 10 survived the restaurant industry,
a leaker, in three months.
So we would love to give you advice,
but you're not probably gonna be here.
That's what an elite alpha woman,
that's what she told me when I went to her for advice
on how I could run my restaurant business.
She went, literally told me,
there's no point in me telling you,
because you won't survive,
because one in 10 survived the first three months.
I was like, okay, thank you, Ivy.
So, you know, and then my third career is, you know,
after selling the restaurant, my second burnout,
and God be willing, I got the download
that I had to let go of the restaurant,
I sold the restaurant successfully.
Then my third career started,
which is really an accumulation of everything,
which is the health concierge,
and my coaching and lifestyle support.
But the point is, I've literally burned down
whole careers and started again from nothing.
And when I say I started again from nothing,
when I left my corporate career,
you imagine leaving a six figure job to run a restaurant,
you know, if people don't know,
restaurants are not where you make your money.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Newsflash, not the cash cow you wanted to be.
When I sold my restaurant, you know,
I did well, I won't lie, but I took a year off.
I have worked since the age of nine.
I took my first year off, right?
And what I did is because I believe money is energy,
I didn't want, I felt that money was attached
to an energy that I no longer wanted to be a part of, right?
The extreme is part of my nature.
And so I basically retired my mom and my family in Spain,
and I literally started again, empty bank account,
and started, we get to do this,
we get to rebuild from a different energy.
And that's because, guess what she also has?
She has this part of her genome,
which is the resurrection gene.
The ability to burn the whole thing down and start again.
Is that a good thing?
Honestly, I don't think it is.
But just because we can doesn't mean we shouldn't.
But she can.
Yeah.
Yeah, and I'm hearing that, girl.
I mean, I think I have some of those tendencies as well,
which is, you know, to cut, run, rebirth, right?
I think that's like very, you know,
but at the same time, I think there's also like,
you can still connect the dots.
You know, like there's nothing,
I would assume, given what you just shared.
You can't say the person you work in corporate
is not the person you work.
Right?
Like there's still a thread of connection.
Yes.
And it's really clear for me from corporate,
I didn't know that one of my biggest things,
because, you know, I started my career in HR
and CIPD and qualified.
My thing in corporate was this HR people side.
When I started restaurant industry, you know what?
It took me three months to learn the business.
My chef walked out on me in three months.
I literally sat in my business going,
I have put 350,000 of my own personal investment in this.
How the hell am I gonna do this?
Sat in an empty restaurant going,
and okay, I made it work.
I turned it around.
But you know what the thing was?
I had 50% staff turnover.
That's the turnover in restaurant industries.
Sometimes more, 50% staff turnover.
That's the equivalent of training your staff
in three months, knowing they're not gonna be here
and you have to do the whole thing again.
You can imagine why that took the second burnout, right?
So, but what was helping me was my HR background,
the people management, my ability to hire, recruit,
and train all of that from my previous career.
When I started the HealthCon series, of course,
I was like, I sat there having all these downloads,
epiphany moments of my year out going, oh wow.
Now I understand, God, why you have to take this away from me.
I do not need a restaurant and operations
to serve people powerfully.
I don't need that.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.
I can't, I can't, no, I promise I'm gonna do this again.
Yeah, I needed lessons.
And what did I learn?
I took all of the suppliers that I brought into Singapore,
all of the functional medicine doctors,
the physios, the personal trainers, the reikis,
all of these people that healed my body and my clients
in all of these burnouts.
And I pulled all of them all together
to create my expert panel.
And then my own experience, right,
of two burnouts and going, I'm not doing this again.
I'm doing inner work.
I'm gonna rewire my nervous system and my brain
so that I'm not in these patterns again.
And so that was the thread that I brought through
into the HealthCon series.
So yes, you're absolutely right.
Last question before we get to our real, real last question
about the Elite Alpha.
Whether you perceive that you're not one
or whether you know you're not one, let's just say,
are there lessons, are there things
that the Elite Alphas do that if we're trying to become
more like the Elite Alpha, is it things that they do
that people who are not can start moving towards?
So if you feel like, you know, you're someone
that's maybe toward the other end of the spectrum, right?
It was like, I actually don't have my shit together.
I actually struggle every day to kind of like get going
and get moving.
What are some of the tangibles from the Elite Alpha
experience?
Yes, the number one is mindset.
She has a mindset, and I give this to Marie Folio.
She's got a point that I know,
which is everything is figure outable.
Like in our lives, like if you tell me,
I don't think that could be done.
My brain is only figuring out how I'm gonna get it done.
By the time you think of that sentence.
To me, it's not in my vocabulary, I can't, right?
So like how I perceive the world is my heart has a desire.
I don't use my brain first for my desires.
My brain will get me into crap
and it will get me doing, getting people pleasing.
I don't use my brain first, I use my heart.
And here's the thing about the Elite Alpha,
remember, she has a very good primal instinct
as well as intuition.
So the primal is an ability, a physical power
to get things done.
But she also has a very good intuitive instinct,
which is what she needed to do
to navigate around her environment.
So I go to my primal gut, my sacral gut,
in human design, my sacral.
So I go to my primal gut and my gut tells me in that moment,
it's this, it's this, it's this.
My heart is telling me my desire.
You desire this, you desire this.
And then I go to my brain and I go,
you tell me my encyclopedia, tell me how I'm gonna do it.
Go through the background in my encyclopedia,
open the page, show me, show me, show me the how.
And that's how I am.
So the mindset that you need in this,
in the Elite Alpha Heart is this mindset
that I just need to figure out the how.
Not the what, not can, not, not.
I forget about my desires for people don't like it,
no, just show me the how.
Now your brain is going to start looking for that
because this is the beautiful thing about the brain,
the brain will do exactly what you tell it to do.
So if you tell it, I'm a victim, I can't.
Then you're a victim, I can't.
If you tell it, I have this desire,
can you show me how I can do this?
It'll start looking for it.
So that's a really, really, really important one
before we get into anything else.
Secondly, I think that the Elite Alpha knows
that in the tribe that there are gonna be
those people that have different gifts
that can support a Nobel League.
But she also knows if she used to get up
and move to another tribe, we're gonna look at her and go,
who the hell are you?
You don't belong to us.
Like what, like this, excuse me, who are you?
Like get out, kill her, right?
So she knows who her tribe are.
She knows her people.
Like I say, you know, I've got a business partner
that I do some work with on the Helion and I love her
because this is someone that so sees me.
And sometimes she comes to me, she's like,
Amika, you know, I don't know how to tell you this.
I'm like, they don't like me.
I'm like, babe, believe you me,
I have to learn the hard way.
These are my people, they know me, they see me,
they love me, they buy everything from me,
they follow me, they got that, these are my people.
And these are the people that I just trigger the hell out of
because they are not ready for the evolution
that I'm going to bring to them.
And that she knows that she is not for everybody.
So where in your life are you trying to fit yourself,
squeeze yourself, play small,
con-con-conjure yourself to this person that you are not
because that's not your tribe?
I would say those two are enough to start with.
Yeah, I think that's wonderful.
And again, a lot of, it's inspiring to a lot of women here
because I think a lot of those messages
are accessible for men at any point in their lives.
And we don't get them as often
because it's really helpful that you said it.
Well, so that, you know, that details beautifully
with our final question that we ask every guest.
And I love asking you because you are 42
and so you're in the 40s right now.
What can you offer as a 40s formula to our listeners?
What are the components, the mathematical equation
for thriving being successful, you know,
at the expense of using that word, in this decade?
What do you perceive?
I think what I want to share when I hear that,
and I love that, thank you,
I didn't think about that question.
I'm glad I didn't.
Yeah.
Because then you just get the raw, pure, unfiltered download.
Obviously, I use energy as a measurement for success.
And as I teach everyone that's in my world
that energy is your most valuable currency,
you're not getting paid for the job you do.
You're getting paid for the energy you do it.
So please preserve this like you would do,
your most precious thing.
So I want everybody to know these teachings around energy,
there are four layers of your energetic body.
There's the physical energetic field,
and that's what you people see
when they see your physical body.
Yes, so how you look, all of that.
When you diet, when you exercise,
that's what most people are doing,
but you're only working on your physical body over there.
Don't stop there.
Don't stop with that first energetic layer,
the physical body, because there's so much more,
and there are three more.
Three.
And the second layer is your emotional body,
your emotional fear, energetic field.
I can't feel your frustration.
I can't feel your anger.
Now I can measure it with technology, thankfully.
I can measure it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm like, I can't go off on my heat lead.
I'm gonna measure your energy there.
So, but you can feel that.
And so when you feel this energetic body,
this emotion, which is energy
that's moving through your body,
have a relationship with it.
What do you feel in this moment?
What is those feelings telling you?
So if those feelings are high energy frequencies,
which we can measure them, that's things like joy,
excitement, enlightenment, peace, harmony, great.
But if you're constantly experiencing
these lower frequencies like frustration,
which is on the energy frequency chart
that's somewhere in the middle,
or even worse, the lower frequencies like anger and fear,
these lower frequencies,
fear is also a primal instinct as well as an emotion.
But that's a signal for you to make change,
because if you're in these lower frequencies all the time,
it's signaling that there's something that you need
to bring you back into those high frequencies of joy.
Then we have the mental field, the mental energy field.
And I can't feel your anxiety,
but you can experience it, right?
Anxiety to me is your mind is in the future,
depression is in the past,
but you need to be in the present moment.
So where are you going in the future
that's not bringing you back to this present moment?
And that ruminating that so many of my clients do
where they come to me and they're all in their head,
ruminating thought after thought.
Even just you thinking about what I'm saying now,
that ruminating over that, I can't feel that,
but you know it.
But where do you need to create space in that mental field
so that new thoughts and ideas are so much purer
than what's in your existing encyclopedia
that's in the software that you've been given,
that these pure thoughts could come to you
because they're the ones that are personalized for you.
And the last field is what I call the collective field.
In quantum physics, we call this the information field.
In the spiritual world, they call it the aura.
You know when you walk into a room that,
in the alphas know this, when they walk into a room,
there's a presence that they have
that they give to others, right?
That's their aura.
That I call this collective field.
It's the field that you and I are exchanging
being in each other's presence now.
And it's the field that I wish so many more people
would just focus on their inner work
so that their field that they exchange with others
is a lot more cleaner.
Right, it's a lot more cleaner.
We need to clean up our collective fields
so that when we exchange these energies with each other,
they're coming from a pure estate
and we also need to protect ourself.
So what I say about this last field is
be mindful of this energetic field,
this collective field that you have around you.
When you work on your physical, mental, and emotional,
a byproduct will be that you will be magnetic
because that collective field will be so much more purer.
But notice that that is a field that's protecting
your physical body, your mental body,
and your emotional body.
So be mindful of who you let penetrate that field as well.
I do love that.
And you're talking about that is really strange
because I always say that I feel like Amanda
has just got this energy.
Like, you know, like it's just, you radiate,
you radiate this energy which I love.
So, you know, you can see it, you can feel it,
you can feel other people's energies.
And I think it's great.
That's it.
And when you speak to her without,
I know when I speak to a woman or a guy
without even speaking to them,
I know whether they're working on their physical body,
their and their mental and emotional body,
because I know it by just looking at their collective field.
Yeah.
I love that.
And we definitely know your record.
I'll say thanks for the kind of notes
on the collective field, I'll tell you guys.
But really, this conversation has been amazing.
Revolutionary, truly.
Like nothing we've ever had on the show.
And I so thank you for bringing that point of view.
We'll watch the space and come back.
Yeah, exactly.
Watch the space and what's next.
And after the show notes, we'll tag on there as well.
But thank you for being here, T.V.
We hope to see you back again.
Oh, thank you, Bentley.
Thank you.
We're so excited.
Thank you.
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So Paul, what's your thoughts on today's conversation?
Alpha, beta, sigma and other types.
So, I mean, obviously I'm definitely not an alpha
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editing this podcast essentially
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Bye.
Yeah.
Right.
And clinic lighting is not great either.
It's just super bright for us.
Yeah.
So it's like, oh, it's never gonna be like warm and cozy.
Yeah.
Beautiful.
That one that makes you look a bit flawless.
Yeah.
That was that this lighting, okay.
All good.
It'll work us all out.
Well, they're talking about flawless.
I have to say when I was looking at the courses episode,
what's that?
God damn, my skin looks so good.
I love that.
Yeah, that was a good lighting day.
Yeah, it must have been.
I am a bit leggy today, so tell me that.
A bit leggy.
I don't know why I'm so leggy.
I didn't even think about what to wear for this.
I was thinking about my whole day
and I'm really not out.