1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,120 But I kept saying to him and the doctors, I'm like, 2 00:00:02,120 --> 00:00:05,360 okay, I've had two children, one that route, 3 00:00:05,360 --> 00:00:07,520 one the alternative route. 4 00:00:07,520 --> 00:00:08,360 It can't be that route. 5 00:00:08,360 --> 00:00:10,680 It's been down both streets. 6 00:00:10,680 --> 00:00:13,480 I've said that to the surgeon on our first meeting. 7 00:00:13,480 --> 00:00:17,200 He was explaining the surgery and pain care. 8 00:00:17,200 --> 00:00:18,560 And I said, okay, just tell me one thing. 9 00:00:18,560 --> 00:00:21,200 On a scale of one to C-section, what are we talking here? 10 00:00:21,200 --> 00:00:22,040 Yeah. 11 00:00:22,040 --> 00:00:24,120 I'm interested, what'd he give you? 12 00:00:24,120 --> 00:00:42,320 Hey, hey, and welcome to the 40s Formula. 13 00:00:42,320 --> 00:00:44,480 Your go-to place for insightful discussions 14 00:00:44,480 --> 00:00:46,360 on navigating the 40s and thriving 15 00:00:46,360 --> 00:00:48,560 in this transformative decade. 16 00:00:48,560 --> 00:00:50,640 We're your hosts, Jasmine and Amanda. 17 00:00:50,640 --> 00:00:52,680 Two women that are passionate about exploring 18 00:00:52,680 --> 00:00:55,520 the challenges and adventures that come with turning 40 19 00:00:55,520 --> 00:00:56,600 and what lies ahead. 20 00:01:05,080 --> 00:01:08,120 Claire Chahill is a 44-year-old mom of two girls 21 00:01:08,120 --> 00:01:11,280 aged 16 and 10 and the founder of the AC Boutique 22 00:01:11,280 --> 00:01:12,680 in Jucheat. 23 00:01:12,680 --> 00:01:14,520 She's lived in Singapore for 12 years now, 24 00:01:14,520 --> 00:01:16,880 but grew up in Southwest London with three sisters 25 00:01:16,880 --> 00:01:18,520 and a single mom. 26 00:01:18,520 --> 00:01:21,000 Claire has always been fascinated by fashion and retail 27 00:01:21,000 --> 00:01:22,760 and worked as a buyer at the House of Fraser 28 00:01:22,760 --> 00:01:24,400 before she moved to Singapore to set up 29 00:01:24,400 --> 00:01:26,480 her own independent boutique. 30 00:01:26,480 --> 00:01:29,200 She loves gin, dancing, and good food. 31 00:01:29,200 --> 00:01:31,000 She would describe herself as a fighter 32 00:01:31,000 --> 00:01:33,160 despite having many bouts of depression. 33 00:01:34,280 --> 00:01:36,000 Claire, when I first heard your story, 34 00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:37,720 I got goosebumps and I started welling up 35 00:01:37,720 --> 00:01:39,800 and I really can't imagine what you 36 00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:41,360 and your family went through. 37 00:01:41,360 --> 00:01:44,360 So could you just take us back to the beginning 38 00:01:44,360 --> 00:01:48,080 and tell us how this all started 39 00:01:48,080 --> 00:01:50,600 and share with us how you discovered 40 00:01:50,600 --> 00:01:52,200 that something was very strong? 41 00:01:53,000 --> 00:01:56,560 Okay, so at the time, 42 00:01:56,560 --> 00:01:58,720 so I'll create a bit of a picture 43 00:01:58,720 --> 00:02:00,160 of what was happening at the time. 44 00:02:00,160 --> 00:02:03,480 So we were like in the midst of COVID. 45 00:02:03,480 --> 00:02:05,040 So we were out of lockdowns, 46 00:02:05,040 --> 00:02:09,800 but still lots of restrictions going on. 47 00:02:09,800 --> 00:02:13,480 But for what I do in my world, which is retail, 48 00:02:13,480 --> 00:02:15,440 it was quite a bit of a boom time. 49 00:02:15,440 --> 00:02:18,400 So I was running around, running three locations. 50 00:02:18,400 --> 00:02:22,080 So we had Jucheat Road, Raffles Hotel, Arcade, 51 00:02:22,080 --> 00:02:24,280 and a pop-up in Tangjong Pagar. 52 00:02:24,280 --> 00:02:26,840 And I was running around like crazy. 53 00:02:26,840 --> 00:02:30,120 At home, I've got obviously my husband, two kids, 54 00:02:30,120 --> 00:02:31,840 and my father-in-law was living with us 55 00:02:31,840 --> 00:02:33,520 at the time as well. 56 00:02:33,520 --> 00:02:37,200 And I was really just in and out of the house, 57 00:02:37,200 --> 00:02:39,400 super manic, focusing on the business. 58 00:02:40,360 --> 00:02:43,360 And a few days in a row, I came home and I was like, 59 00:02:43,360 --> 00:02:45,000 what's going on with you? 60 00:02:45,000 --> 00:02:47,920 To my husband, I was like, you look a bit off, 61 00:02:47,920 --> 00:02:50,960 like you look a bit weird, something's not right here. 62 00:02:50,960 --> 00:02:53,000 And then one day when I came home from work, 63 00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:57,240 I was very late and he had already was like in bed. 64 00:02:57,240 --> 00:02:59,520 And I looked at his face and it was like 65 00:02:59,520 --> 00:03:02,720 completely swollen on one side. 66 00:03:02,720 --> 00:03:05,440 And we worked out that I was like starting to look at it. 67 00:03:05,440 --> 00:03:08,200 And we worked out that he had like a bit of hardness 68 00:03:08,200 --> 00:03:09,440 on his lip. 69 00:03:09,440 --> 00:03:12,040 And we thought, oh my God, you've been bitten by something. 70 00:03:12,040 --> 00:03:13,280 You've been bitten by an insect, 71 00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:15,280 maybe this is an allergic reaction. 72 00:03:15,280 --> 00:03:17,840 So he went to the GP, they prescribed him, 73 00:03:17,840 --> 00:03:19,440 they were like kind of agreed with that 74 00:03:19,440 --> 00:03:22,440 and they prescribed him medication for it. 75 00:03:22,440 --> 00:03:24,840 The next, he started taking the medication 76 00:03:24,840 --> 00:03:27,520 and within 24 hours, he was getting worse, 77 00:03:27,520 --> 00:03:30,160 like rapidly worse, not better. 78 00:03:30,160 --> 00:03:31,840 And it was a Sunday morning. 79 00:03:32,680 --> 00:03:34,440 He'd had a very rough night's sleep, 80 00:03:34,440 --> 00:03:36,880 coughing a lot and not comfortable. 81 00:03:36,880 --> 00:03:39,840 He came downstairs in the morning 82 00:03:39,840 --> 00:03:41,240 and he couldn't really walk. 83 00:03:41,240 --> 00:03:45,280 He couldn't really coordinate his movements or anything. 84 00:03:45,280 --> 00:03:47,920 And I was like, I think we need to go to the hospital. 85 00:03:47,920 --> 00:03:49,760 This looks very serious. 86 00:03:49,760 --> 00:03:52,880 And my eldest daughter was like, yes, mum, 87 00:03:52,880 --> 00:03:55,160 for the last few days, it's been getting really worse. 88 00:03:55,160 --> 00:03:56,000 I'm really worried. 89 00:03:56,000 --> 00:03:57,640 I said, okay, you know what? 90 00:03:57,640 --> 00:03:59,840 Go upstairs, pack him an overnight bag 91 00:03:59,840 --> 00:04:02,000 because he'll probably be admitted. 92 00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:03,600 I think he's having an allergic reaction 93 00:04:03,600 --> 00:04:06,480 to either the sting or the medication for the sting. 94 00:04:06,480 --> 00:04:08,920 Let's get him to A&E. 95 00:04:08,920 --> 00:04:13,200 So we went in a taxi, our neighbor's a taxi driver, 96 00:04:13,200 --> 00:04:14,560 so she took us in. 97 00:04:14,560 --> 00:04:17,720 So we went in a taxi and he was like, 98 00:04:17,720 --> 00:04:19,640 he couldn't even sit up. 99 00:04:19,640 --> 00:04:22,280 I was like propping him up in the taxi. 100 00:04:22,280 --> 00:04:24,840 And I arrived and I said straight away, 101 00:04:24,840 --> 00:04:27,920 okay, I think we've got an allergic reaction going on here. 102 00:04:27,920 --> 00:04:29,640 My husband needs to be admitted straight away. 103 00:04:29,640 --> 00:04:31,760 They whisked him straight through. 104 00:04:31,760 --> 00:04:34,040 And let me tell you, that is always a bad sign. 105 00:04:34,040 --> 00:04:35,960 You would rather be sitting in the waiting room 106 00:04:35,960 --> 00:04:37,720 because you're generally okay 107 00:04:37,720 --> 00:04:39,000 if you're sitting in the waiting room. 108 00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:41,080 But he was whisked straight through. 109 00:04:41,080 --> 00:04:42,480 I obviously do the paperwork 110 00:04:42,480 --> 00:04:44,480 and then I'm sitting in the waiting room 111 00:04:44,480 --> 00:04:46,160 and within like, it was quick. 112 00:04:46,160 --> 00:04:48,640 It was like half hour, 40 minutes. 113 00:04:48,640 --> 00:04:51,760 Doctor came through, called my name, 114 00:04:51,760 --> 00:04:54,280 took me to the side and said, we know what's wrong. 115 00:04:54,280 --> 00:04:56,320 He has end stage kidney failure. 116 00:04:56,320 --> 00:04:57,160 Oh my God. 117 00:04:57,160 --> 00:04:58,680 And I went. 118 00:04:58,680 --> 00:05:01,280 And it was like in a movie where like, 119 00:05:01,280 --> 00:05:04,680 like you feel like you're, like the floor's gone away 120 00:05:04,680 --> 00:05:06,760 and you're dropping down and are almost fainted. 121 00:05:06,760 --> 00:05:10,040 He had to sort of pick me up a bit. 122 00:05:10,040 --> 00:05:13,920 And I was like, ah, okay, okay. 123 00:05:13,920 --> 00:05:16,920 And then he went, would you like to see him? 124 00:05:16,920 --> 00:05:18,480 And I said, absolutely. 125 00:05:18,480 --> 00:05:20,600 And he said, we don't usually bring, 126 00:05:20,600 --> 00:05:23,480 especially in COVID, we don't usually bring family members 127 00:05:23,480 --> 00:05:27,200 into this room where all the very serious patients are. 128 00:05:27,200 --> 00:05:31,120 And I was like, God, okay, again, a bad sign. 129 00:05:31,120 --> 00:05:34,520 So in I went and he was hooked up to everything. 130 00:05:34,520 --> 00:05:37,320 Like tubes in here, you know, wires going in, 131 00:05:37,320 --> 00:05:38,720 everything, everything. 132 00:05:38,720 --> 00:05:40,840 And he was still completely out of it. 133 00:05:40,840 --> 00:05:45,760 And then that just began in the whole journey 134 00:05:45,760 --> 00:05:48,800 of like learning about kidney failure, 135 00:05:48,800 --> 00:05:52,920 what it is, what we need to do, how we're gonna tackle it, 136 00:05:52,920 --> 00:05:54,320 how we're gonna live with it. 137 00:05:55,560 --> 00:05:59,040 And yeah, getting very used to hospitals basically. 138 00:05:59,040 --> 00:06:01,280 I mean, you sort of mentioned that the sort of initial 139 00:06:01,280 --> 00:06:05,880 reaction for you was like this, like the ground opened up. 140 00:06:05,880 --> 00:06:09,120 How did you deal with your sort of emotions 141 00:06:09,120 --> 00:06:11,720 during this time? 142 00:06:11,720 --> 00:06:16,720 I mean, they were up and down, like very severe. 143 00:06:16,760 --> 00:06:20,400 I mean, I think that I now know looking back, 144 00:06:20,400 --> 00:06:25,400 I spent sort of two years in a state of like heightened stress. 145 00:06:26,200 --> 00:06:31,120 And it's not the first major trauma I've had in my life. 146 00:06:31,120 --> 00:06:34,160 So I think that kind of helped in a way 147 00:06:34,160 --> 00:06:36,480 because I sort of said to myself, 148 00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:39,360 you've been through these awful traumas 149 00:06:39,360 --> 00:06:40,720 and you've got through them. 150 00:06:41,680 --> 00:06:45,760 You know, you should be able to get through this as well. 151 00:06:45,760 --> 00:06:49,520 And there were some practical things I did. 152 00:06:49,520 --> 00:06:52,560 Like I had a fantastic personal trainer 153 00:06:52,560 --> 00:06:54,600 who I've known for like 10 years. 154 00:06:54,600 --> 00:06:57,080 He used to teach my kids swimming and he's wonderful. 155 00:06:57,080 --> 00:07:01,000 And I know from having bouts of depression in the past 156 00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:03,160 that exercise is very key for me 157 00:07:03,160 --> 00:07:05,160 to sort of keep on top of things. 158 00:07:05,160 --> 00:07:07,080 And so I had him once a week 159 00:07:07,080 --> 00:07:09,680 and then on the lead up to the big surgery twice a week 160 00:07:09,680 --> 00:07:13,520 because that was to try and have the best possible recovery, 161 00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:15,640 quickest possible recovery from the surgery. 162 00:07:17,400 --> 00:07:20,920 And then really some days I was fine and coping. 163 00:07:20,920 --> 00:07:24,560 Other days I was an absolute mess and snapping at people 164 00:07:24,560 --> 00:07:28,560 and just drinking too much gin. 165 00:07:28,560 --> 00:07:30,000 I'm trying, very honestly. 166 00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:30,920 No one's blaming you here. 167 00:07:30,920 --> 00:07:33,280 And just trying to keep it all together. 168 00:07:33,280 --> 00:07:35,520 Yeah, I've got 85, 86 year olds, 169 00:07:36,520 --> 00:07:38,280 with his own health problems living with me, 170 00:07:38,280 --> 00:07:39,600 father-in-law. 171 00:07:39,600 --> 00:07:42,440 I've got my two kids, 172 00:07:42,440 --> 00:07:43,920 my youngest kid was really struggling 173 00:07:43,920 --> 00:07:46,000 at school as well at the time. 174 00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:48,960 And my husband spent more time in hospital 175 00:07:48,960 --> 00:07:51,160 and then the dialysis clinics 176 00:07:51,160 --> 00:07:53,400 for those two years than at home. 177 00:07:53,400 --> 00:07:54,520 It was hard. 178 00:07:54,520 --> 00:07:57,320 Yeah, I mean, I don't even know 179 00:07:57,320 --> 00:07:59,240 what you would have gone through during that period. 180 00:07:59,240 --> 00:08:03,440 Like it just sounds too much. 181 00:08:03,440 --> 00:08:05,320 And how old were your kids at the time 182 00:08:05,320 --> 00:08:07,400 and how did you break the news to them? 183 00:08:08,240 --> 00:08:12,840 So not great at going back in time with us. 184 00:08:12,840 --> 00:08:13,680 Where are we now? 185 00:08:13,680 --> 00:08:15,360 So they're 17 and 10 now. 186 00:08:15,360 --> 00:08:20,360 So they were six and see, I really can't do them. 187 00:08:20,520 --> 00:08:22,360 I'm 14. 188 00:08:22,360 --> 00:08:23,200 Wow, yeah. 189 00:08:24,640 --> 00:08:26,360 Could they understand? 190 00:08:26,360 --> 00:08:28,360 So I remember coming home that night. 191 00:08:28,360 --> 00:08:29,560 So by the time I got home, 192 00:08:29,560 --> 00:08:30,800 so obviously I was sending the messages 193 00:08:30,800 --> 00:08:33,080 and it was a Sunday, so my helper wasn't there. 194 00:08:33,080 --> 00:08:34,080 So the kids were home. 195 00:08:34,080 --> 00:08:35,560 And obviously at that time, 196 00:08:35,560 --> 00:08:37,960 I would leave my eldest at home on her own, 197 00:08:37,960 --> 00:08:41,400 but I'd never left her with my youngest at that time. 198 00:08:41,400 --> 00:08:43,520 But obviously the priority was 199 00:08:43,520 --> 00:08:44,960 to get my husband to hospital. 200 00:08:44,960 --> 00:08:47,600 I couldn't wait for anyone to come in and be a relief. 201 00:08:47,600 --> 00:08:49,600 And my helper did come home. 202 00:08:49,600 --> 00:08:51,240 So she came home within an hour. 203 00:08:52,120 --> 00:08:54,300 And I was at the hospital, 204 00:08:55,440 --> 00:08:57,920 getting him settled, getting him in the room, 205 00:08:57,920 --> 00:09:02,200 talking to doctors until very late, like 10, 11 p.m. 206 00:09:02,200 --> 00:09:04,160 And by the time I came home, 207 00:09:04,160 --> 00:09:06,000 the house was completely quiet. 208 00:09:06,920 --> 00:09:08,160 Everyone had gone to bed 209 00:09:08,160 --> 00:09:10,840 and I just sat in the living room in the dark 210 00:09:10,840 --> 00:09:13,960 and I was like, oh, you're gonna have to tell everyone 211 00:09:13,960 --> 00:09:16,880 tomorrow, you're gonna have to like, 212 00:09:16,880 --> 00:09:19,940 you're just gonna have to cope with this 213 00:09:19,940 --> 00:09:22,200 because you're the only one that can. 214 00:09:22,200 --> 00:09:23,760 It's up to you now. 215 00:09:23,760 --> 00:09:26,320 I can't imagine having to be the pillar of strength 216 00:09:26,320 --> 00:09:27,720 in front of your girls 217 00:09:27,720 --> 00:09:30,360 when you just found out the news yourself, right? 218 00:09:30,360 --> 00:09:32,460 I mean, it's like there wasn't too much time in between. 219 00:09:32,460 --> 00:09:34,180 Well, one thing we decided really early on, 220 00:09:34,180 --> 00:09:38,320 and as a parent, you procrastinate and you research 221 00:09:38,320 --> 00:09:40,400 and you make your decision 222 00:09:40,400 --> 00:09:41,760 on what you're gonna do with your children 223 00:09:41,760 --> 00:09:43,840 and then you stick with it 224 00:09:43,840 --> 00:09:45,920 and you hope you've made the right decision. 225 00:09:45,920 --> 00:09:47,380 I felt very strongly 226 00:09:47,380 --> 00:09:50,020 that they should be made aware of everything. 227 00:09:50,020 --> 00:09:51,960 And maybe the language changes slightly 228 00:09:51,960 --> 00:09:53,640 for the different age group. 229 00:09:53,640 --> 00:09:56,800 But I really strongly felt from the beginning 230 00:09:56,800 --> 00:10:00,840 that they know something serious is happening 231 00:10:00,840 --> 00:10:04,320 and they shouldn't be lied to about it. 232 00:10:04,320 --> 00:10:06,720 We shouldn't withhold any information from them. 233 00:10:06,720 --> 00:10:09,900 They need to know what is going on 234 00:10:09,900 --> 00:10:12,960 because who knows what crisis they might face in their lives. 235 00:10:12,960 --> 00:10:15,200 So it's kind of learning 236 00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:17,760 and it's the reality of what we're going through. 237 00:10:17,760 --> 00:10:20,860 And I wanted them to somehow feel 238 00:10:20,860 --> 00:10:24,440 that we're in it together, you know, they're a part of it 239 00:10:24,440 --> 00:10:26,600 and it's important that they felt 240 00:10:26,600 --> 00:10:28,600 that they were informed about everything. 241 00:10:29,920 --> 00:10:31,760 Hey Amanda, do you know of a really easy way 242 00:10:31,760 --> 00:10:33,560 to give your kids some good gut bacteria? 243 00:10:33,560 --> 00:10:34,480 I do indeed. 244 00:10:34,480 --> 00:10:37,520 I'm giving my family Akizzi Wellness Elderberry Boost. 245 00:10:37,520 --> 00:10:38,920 They come in these little sachets. 246 00:10:38,920 --> 00:10:41,160 You just rip them open, pour it right in your mouth. 247 00:10:41,160 --> 00:10:42,280 That sounds like fun. 248 00:10:42,280 --> 00:10:43,840 And I bet I could add that to their smoothies 249 00:10:43,840 --> 00:10:45,040 and some Greek yogurt too. 250 00:10:45,040 --> 00:10:46,320 And what I love about Akizzi 251 00:10:46,320 --> 00:10:48,380 is that you can take it any time of day 252 00:10:48,380 --> 00:10:49,880 and there's a product for all ages, 253 00:10:49,880 --> 00:10:51,720 even my 12 week old little guy. 254 00:10:51,720 --> 00:10:53,280 Akizzi believe that food is medicine 255 00:10:53,280 --> 00:10:54,560 so you know the products are clean 256 00:10:54,560 --> 00:10:56,320 and have no gums and fillers. 257 00:10:56,320 --> 00:10:58,080 They also take a science forward approach 258 00:10:58,080 --> 00:11:02,480 and include pre, post, probiotics, as well as polyphenols. 259 00:11:02,480 --> 00:11:05,720 And the best thing is you can get 15% off full price items 260 00:11:05,720 --> 00:11:09,320 with free delivery when you use code 40s at checkout 261 00:11:09,320 --> 00:11:10,800 for any purchases in Singapore 262 00:11:10,800 --> 00:11:13,280 from their website akizziwellness.com. 263 00:11:13,280 --> 00:11:15,520 And don't forget to check out their new Akizzi Berry 264 00:11:15,520 --> 00:11:17,400 and Akizzi Tropical Flavors too. 265 00:11:17,400 --> 00:11:18,500 Now back to the chat. 266 00:11:20,880 --> 00:11:23,600 What options did the doctors then give you 267 00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:26,520 as to how to sort of move forward 268 00:11:26,520 --> 00:11:28,640 with your husband's condition? 269 00:11:29,440 --> 00:11:32,880 So the whole kidney thing works very differently 270 00:11:32,880 --> 00:11:34,000 in different countries. 271 00:11:35,800 --> 00:11:39,360 Initially the treatment is at his stage, 272 00:11:39,360 --> 00:11:43,200 so there's five stages, one to five for kidney failure. 273 00:11:43,200 --> 00:11:47,280 One through three can be controlled with medication. 274 00:11:47,280 --> 00:11:50,200 It's always progressive, but one through three medication, 275 00:11:50,200 --> 00:11:53,880 three and a half, you start maybe having a bit of dialysis. 276 00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:57,160 Four and five, by the time you hit stage five, 277 00:11:57,160 --> 00:11:59,560 it's full blown dialysis, right? 278 00:12:01,720 --> 00:12:05,280 I think that if we had waited 24, 48 hours more, 279 00:12:05,280 --> 00:12:08,520 he would have been dead because when he went in, 280 00:12:08,520 --> 00:12:12,280 his lungs were 80% water, 80% fluid 281 00:12:13,440 --> 00:12:16,680 because the kidney gets rid of the fluid in the body 282 00:12:16,680 --> 00:12:21,680 and his blood was absolutely toxic because again, 283 00:12:22,280 --> 00:12:24,600 that's the other job of the kidney. 284 00:12:24,600 --> 00:12:27,280 So he had to have dialysis straight away, 285 00:12:27,280 --> 00:12:31,280 but it's actually, administering that is quite complex. 286 00:12:31,280 --> 00:12:32,700 Initially it goes straight into the kidney, 287 00:12:32,700 --> 00:12:34,440 but you have to be in hospital for that. 288 00:12:34,440 --> 00:12:36,280 So then they fit catheters. 289 00:12:36,280 --> 00:12:39,960 So the initial catheters go straight into your heart 290 00:12:41,240 --> 00:12:43,440 because the dialysis machine is very powerful. 291 00:12:43,440 --> 00:12:48,280 So you have to have a major artery in vain to cope with it. 292 00:12:48,280 --> 00:12:49,640 And so that happened first, 293 00:12:49,640 --> 00:12:50,960 but then there's risk of infection. 294 00:12:50,960 --> 00:12:53,440 So we went through this period of like six months 295 00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:56,480 where he was having outpatient dialysis, 296 00:12:56,480 --> 00:12:58,360 but then the catheter would get infected 297 00:12:58,360 --> 00:13:00,320 and then he'd have to go into hospital, 298 00:13:00,320 --> 00:13:04,000 have another surgery, take that one out, put a new one in. 299 00:13:05,360 --> 00:13:10,360 And then meanwhile, they create the permanent location 300 00:13:10,360 --> 00:13:14,160 for dialysis is actually on your forearm, 301 00:13:14,160 --> 00:13:15,560 the inside of your forearm 302 00:13:15,560 --> 00:13:17,600 and they create what they call an AV fistula. 303 00:13:17,600 --> 00:13:20,600 So they pull down the major artery in vain, 304 00:13:20,600 --> 00:13:23,920 but it takes about three months to grow, they say, 305 00:13:23,920 --> 00:13:26,520 to be able to cope with the dialysis machine. 306 00:13:26,520 --> 00:13:31,520 So in that time, you have to cope with the more 307 00:13:31,520 --> 00:13:33,600 high risk of infection situation. 308 00:13:33,600 --> 00:13:38,600 And that can be very complex and very difficult. 309 00:13:38,600 --> 00:13:40,340 So then you're on dialysis. 310 00:13:40,340 --> 00:13:44,340 Some people stay on dialysis, but he is very young. 311 00:13:44,340 --> 00:13:49,180 Like he just turned 50, that for stage five is very young 312 00:13:49,180 --> 00:13:51,220 and to be on dialysis, very young. 313 00:13:51,220 --> 00:13:54,980 So usually, like when I would go and see him 314 00:13:54,980 --> 00:13:56,740 in the dialysis clinic, 315 00:13:56,740 --> 00:14:00,040 he's by far the youngest in the room usually, 316 00:14:01,260 --> 00:14:02,980 because it's very taxing on the body. 317 00:14:02,980 --> 00:14:06,300 It ruins your heart, it ruins your lungs. 318 00:14:06,300 --> 00:14:10,060 Like it's such a heavy pumping machine. 319 00:14:11,060 --> 00:14:14,820 So then, I would say for the first few months, 320 00:14:14,820 --> 00:14:16,760 we were just in a daze. 321 00:14:16,760 --> 00:14:18,340 It was just survival mode. 322 00:14:19,540 --> 00:14:24,540 And then there was one pivotal day where, 323 00:14:24,540 --> 00:14:27,420 so we're all still kind of in lockdown, 324 00:14:27,420 --> 00:14:29,940 because I remembered it wasn't full lockdown, 325 00:14:29,940 --> 00:14:32,820 but we were all still in our homes. 326 00:14:32,820 --> 00:14:34,420 I think it's when the regulations were, 327 00:14:34,420 --> 00:14:37,220 you could only meet with four or five people 328 00:14:37,220 --> 00:14:38,540 outside your home or something. 329 00:14:38,540 --> 00:14:40,420 Yeah, that number changed so rapidly here, right? 330 00:14:40,420 --> 00:14:41,940 Exactly, exactly. 331 00:14:41,940 --> 00:14:44,940 Because I remember this evening actually, 332 00:14:44,940 --> 00:14:47,300 so he was in the hospital down the road for me, 333 00:14:47,300 --> 00:14:48,980 from where we live with another infection. 334 00:14:48,980 --> 00:14:50,740 Oh, it's quite good to live walking distance 335 00:14:50,740 --> 00:14:52,020 from a hospital, by the way, 336 00:14:52,020 --> 00:14:55,660 if you are going through a big medical crisis. 337 00:14:55,660 --> 00:14:57,700 So he was in the hospital down the road, 338 00:14:57,700 --> 00:15:00,460 and we had an online quiz night 339 00:15:00,460 --> 00:15:02,440 booked with a big group of friends, 340 00:15:02,440 --> 00:15:06,980 and that's how we sort of socialized during the COVID. 341 00:15:06,980 --> 00:15:10,500 And I went down there with like a special dinner 342 00:15:10,500 --> 00:15:13,780 and some nice drinks to do the quiz together. 343 00:15:13,780 --> 00:15:16,460 So we were together in the hospital doing the quiz together, 344 00:15:16,460 --> 00:15:20,260 and then I went to my friend's house afterwards. 345 00:15:20,260 --> 00:15:23,240 And I remember her, I like burst into tears 346 00:15:23,240 --> 00:15:24,620 as soon as I arrived, I was like, 347 00:15:24,620 --> 00:15:27,020 I don't know what we are going to do. 348 00:15:27,020 --> 00:15:30,540 And she said to me, Claire, you and Whiskey, 349 00:15:30,540 --> 00:15:35,340 that's his nickname, you are not being your normal selves. 350 00:15:35,340 --> 00:15:38,060 You need to, she was like, hard reality talk. 351 00:15:38,060 --> 00:15:41,620 She was like, you can cope with this. 352 00:15:41,620 --> 00:15:43,400 You will cope with this. 353 00:15:43,400 --> 00:15:46,460 There is a solution, which is transplant. 354 00:15:46,460 --> 00:15:50,300 And I was like, I know, but he doesn't want to do that. 355 00:15:50,300 --> 00:15:52,180 He doesn't want to go down that route 356 00:15:52,180 --> 00:15:53,460 because it's taking someone's organ. 357 00:15:53,460 --> 00:15:55,660 And she said, she actually had a friend 358 00:15:55,660 --> 00:15:58,180 who had just had that surgery in Australia, 359 00:15:58,180 --> 00:15:59,720 and she talked me through it a bit. 360 00:15:59,720 --> 00:16:02,140 And I said, you know what, you're right. 361 00:16:02,140 --> 00:16:05,180 We need to, we're not operating how we normally operate. 362 00:16:05,180 --> 00:16:07,820 We're problem solvers as people. 363 00:16:07,820 --> 00:16:11,780 And I was like, okay, I'm going to have a good cry tonight, 364 00:16:11,780 --> 00:16:13,940 wake up in the morning, start the plan. 365 00:16:15,540 --> 00:16:17,300 And so from what I understand, 366 00:16:17,300 --> 00:16:22,300 you need to be a match in order to have a transplant. 367 00:16:22,300 --> 00:16:23,120 Is that correct? 368 00:16:23,120 --> 00:16:24,920 So that the body doesn't reject? 369 00:16:24,920 --> 00:16:25,900 Yes. Okay. 370 00:16:25,900 --> 00:16:26,900 Yes. 371 00:16:26,900 --> 00:16:31,900 So what happened then is we said to his kidney specialist, 372 00:16:35,060 --> 00:16:37,920 his nephrologist that he was under at the time, 373 00:16:37,920 --> 00:16:40,580 we would like to look at the options of a transplant. 374 00:16:40,580 --> 00:16:44,780 And that nephrologist said, I don't deal with transplants. 375 00:16:44,780 --> 00:16:48,340 And I was like, oh, okay, he does. 376 00:16:48,340 --> 00:16:52,540 So then we transferred to another doctor and he said, 377 00:16:52,540 --> 00:16:55,580 okay, transplants are only done in one place in Singapore. 378 00:16:55,580 --> 00:16:58,180 So it's National University Hospital. 379 00:16:58,180 --> 00:17:00,220 It's the Newcott Center. 380 00:17:00,220 --> 00:17:02,940 They deal with kidney and liver transplants. 381 00:17:03,860 --> 00:17:05,260 So the first thing you need to do is go 382 00:17:05,260 --> 00:17:07,580 and have an appointment with them. 383 00:17:07,580 --> 00:17:10,940 So initially we were looking for a cadaverous transplant. 384 00:17:12,060 --> 00:17:13,340 Sorry, what's a cadaverous? 385 00:17:13,340 --> 00:17:15,420 Cadaverous meaning a cadaver, like a dead body. 386 00:17:15,420 --> 00:17:18,060 So it's somebody who unfortunately has met 387 00:17:18,060 --> 00:17:20,740 with a bad accident or, and has died, 388 00:17:20,740 --> 00:17:23,540 but they themselves have opted for organ donation 389 00:17:23,540 --> 00:17:27,380 or their family has decided they're happy for that to happen. 390 00:17:27,380 --> 00:17:31,620 And you basically go on a waiting list and you're on call. 391 00:17:32,700 --> 00:17:35,740 And when those organs become available 392 00:17:35,740 --> 00:17:37,220 through the sad circumstances, 393 00:17:37,220 --> 00:17:41,900 but you go in and you have your transplant. 394 00:17:41,900 --> 00:17:44,660 The waiting list in Singapore is by far 395 00:17:44,660 --> 00:17:45,540 the largest in the world. 396 00:17:45,540 --> 00:17:47,100 It is 10 years. 397 00:17:47,100 --> 00:17:48,460 Oh my God, wow. 398 00:17:48,460 --> 00:17:49,660 10 years. 399 00:17:49,660 --> 00:17:51,300 To put that into perspective, 400 00:17:51,300 --> 00:17:55,820 the quickest in the world is Spain, which is eight months. 401 00:17:55,820 --> 00:17:56,660 Wow. 402 00:17:56,660 --> 00:17:58,820 Because it's knocked out donor system. 403 00:17:58,820 --> 00:18:02,060 I think, I think, I think I remember that correctly, 404 00:18:02,060 --> 00:18:03,500 but you can fact check that. 405 00:18:05,020 --> 00:18:06,660 So it's very long. 406 00:18:06,660 --> 00:18:08,780 And so immediately we were like, that's not an option. 407 00:18:08,780 --> 00:18:12,100 Because actually by then he might not be 408 00:18:12,100 --> 00:18:14,580 a very good candidate for it because the dial, 409 00:18:14,580 --> 00:18:17,420 he wouldn't be in great shape to do the surgery. 410 00:18:17,420 --> 00:18:22,020 So then it was the discussion about, 411 00:18:23,140 --> 00:18:25,380 you know, some like a live donor. 412 00:18:26,220 --> 00:18:28,340 And actually three of our friends, 413 00:18:28,340 --> 00:18:30,820 including the friend who was giving me 414 00:18:30,820 --> 00:18:32,700 the hard talk that evening, 415 00:18:32,700 --> 00:18:33,820 three of our friends said, 416 00:18:33,820 --> 00:18:35,540 we've all been talking about this. 417 00:18:35,540 --> 00:18:36,980 We are ready. 418 00:18:36,980 --> 00:18:38,340 We're ready to volunteer. 419 00:18:39,380 --> 00:18:40,740 So then we have another, 420 00:18:40,740 --> 00:18:42,300 so it's a different, 421 00:18:42,300 --> 00:18:45,900 like different team that deal with live transplants at NUH. 422 00:18:45,900 --> 00:18:50,900 So then we have another appointment with them 423 00:18:50,940 --> 00:18:53,620 and they say, well, you know, who is around, 424 00:18:53,620 --> 00:18:56,100 who can volunteer to be tested? 425 00:18:56,100 --> 00:18:58,340 Usually it's a parent or a sibling. 426 00:18:59,700 --> 00:19:02,700 And we were like, well, that's not an option for us. 427 00:19:02,700 --> 00:19:04,020 We have some friends. 428 00:19:04,020 --> 00:19:07,060 And I said, we've never had a friend donate to a friend. 429 00:19:07,060 --> 00:19:09,700 I'm not sure that would pass ethics committee. 430 00:19:10,460 --> 00:19:11,700 Okay. 431 00:19:11,700 --> 00:19:15,540 Well, I'm wanting to do it as well. 432 00:19:15,540 --> 00:19:17,540 And they were like, okay, we'll start with you. 433 00:19:17,540 --> 00:19:19,140 In fact, we went into the meeting saying, 434 00:19:19,140 --> 00:19:20,660 right, I've got eight names. 435 00:19:20,660 --> 00:19:21,740 Let's coordinate a date. 436 00:19:21,740 --> 00:19:22,580 Let's get everyone in the room 437 00:19:22,580 --> 00:19:25,340 because I'm treating it like a business situation. 438 00:19:25,340 --> 00:19:26,820 Let's make this happen. 439 00:19:26,820 --> 00:19:27,980 And as quick as possible. 440 00:19:27,980 --> 00:19:30,220 And they were like, that is not how it works. 441 00:19:30,220 --> 00:19:32,980 We go candidate, like volunteer by volunteer. 442 00:19:32,980 --> 00:19:35,540 And it's very convoluted and it's very in depth 443 00:19:35,540 --> 00:19:37,940 and it's case by case basis. 444 00:19:37,940 --> 00:19:42,940 So therein started, yeah, the testing phase. 445 00:19:43,180 --> 00:19:44,020 Yeah. 446 00:19:44,020 --> 00:19:47,820 Can you sort of walk us through what that entails? 447 00:19:47,820 --> 00:19:51,700 So what happened was I'm assigned. 448 00:19:51,700 --> 00:19:55,100 So the donor is assigned their own specialist, doctor, 449 00:19:55,100 --> 00:19:56,740 within that unit. 450 00:19:56,740 --> 00:19:59,860 And then the recipient is assigned their own as well. 451 00:19:59,860 --> 00:20:00,700 And the doctors, 452 00:20:00,700 --> 00:20:03,260 even though they're part of the same unit in the hospital, 453 00:20:03,260 --> 00:20:07,140 they work separately to work out the best case scenario 454 00:20:07,140 --> 00:20:08,540 for their patient. 455 00:20:08,540 --> 00:20:13,540 And so obviously initial questions, 456 00:20:14,780 --> 00:20:16,740 what is your state of health? 457 00:20:16,740 --> 00:20:20,940 So the usual tests around blood tests, 458 00:20:20,940 --> 00:20:22,540 obviously urine tests, 459 00:20:24,380 --> 00:20:27,780 just checking, not a mammogram, 460 00:20:27,780 --> 00:20:30,140 but a bit of poking around up here. 461 00:20:30,140 --> 00:20:35,140 And you know, investigative work. 462 00:20:35,140 --> 00:20:37,340 Investigative work. 463 00:20:37,340 --> 00:20:39,540 And then they look at those results 464 00:20:39,540 --> 00:20:40,700 and then you go to the next stage. 465 00:20:40,700 --> 00:20:44,260 So it's like, okay, we do the top line stuff first. 466 00:20:44,260 --> 00:20:47,060 Then we look at the results and then we go a bit deeper 467 00:20:47,060 --> 00:20:48,380 and then we look at those results 468 00:20:48,380 --> 00:20:50,900 and then we say, what needs to be done now? 469 00:20:50,900 --> 00:20:54,460 So it goes in like stages, stages, stages like that. 470 00:20:54,460 --> 00:20:56,100 How long is that whole process? 471 00:20:56,100 --> 00:21:01,100 So I've got, so I started testing in July, 2021, 472 00:21:01,100 --> 00:21:06,100 and then the operation was 16th of March, 2022. 473 00:21:06,660 --> 00:21:09,860 It feels like it was longer, but we really pushed them. 474 00:21:09,860 --> 00:21:10,820 That sounds quite long already. 475 00:21:10,820 --> 00:21:11,820 I mean, that's almost a year. 476 00:21:11,820 --> 00:21:13,340 Oh, we really pushed them. 477 00:21:13,340 --> 00:21:14,180 So shy. 478 00:21:14,180 --> 00:21:15,180 We really did. 479 00:21:16,500 --> 00:21:19,020 And I had every, every med, 480 00:21:19,020 --> 00:21:21,060 the only thing I didn't have is an MRI. 481 00:21:21,060 --> 00:21:25,020 I had everything else done you could possibly imagine. 482 00:21:25,020 --> 00:21:27,500 And they did, and it did throw up some things, 483 00:21:27,500 --> 00:21:31,740 little kidney stone in one of the kidneys, 484 00:21:31,740 --> 00:21:33,660 thyroid problem that I never knew I had, 485 00:21:33,660 --> 00:21:35,660 that I've probably had for many years. 486 00:21:36,780 --> 00:21:40,780 Yeah, little things you can cope with though, luckily. 487 00:21:40,780 --> 00:21:42,620 And the matching is really interesting 488 00:21:42,620 --> 00:21:44,980 because their initial reaction was a bit like, 489 00:21:44,980 --> 00:21:47,780 well, usually female to male, 490 00:21:47,780 --> 00:21:49,580 the organ's not usually big enough. 491 00:21:51,020 --> 00:21:53,940 You are totally different ethnicity. 492 00:21:53,940 --> 00:21:58,940 Like I'm Caucasian kind of mix of Irish 493 00:21:59,060 --> 00:22:02,740 and other Caucasian European. 494 00:22:02,740 --> 00:22:05,540 He's Punjabi, Indian. 495 00:22:05,540 --> 00:22:07,500 So they were like, well, 496 00:22:07,500 --> 00:22:09,780 I feel like almost so humoring me in the beginning. 497 00:22:09,780 --> 00:22:11,980 I was like, right, let's get this done. 498 00:22:11,980 --> 00:22:12,820 I'm gonna do it. 499 00:22:12,820 --> 00:22:15,740 And they went, well, we'll just have to see if the match. 500 00:22:15,740 --> 00:22:17,660 And then actually they didn't tell us 501 00:22:17,660 --> 00:22:18,820 until after the surgery 502 00:22:18,820 --> 00:22:20,500 that we are the closest match possible. 503 00:22:20,500 --> 00:22:21,540 Wow. Yeah. 504 00:22:22,580 --> 00:22:23,420 And it's strange. 505 00:22:23,420 --> 00:22:24,700 It was meant to be, wasn't it? 506 00:22:24,700 --> 00:22:25,540 Yeah. Yeah. 507 00:22:25,540 --> 00:22:26,380 It's strange. 508 00:22:26,380 --> 00:22:27,340 Each round of tests, right? 509 00:22:27,340 --> 00:22:29,140 I feel like it's a hurdle that you had to clear, right? 510 00:22:29,140 --> 00:22:30,300 So, okay, blood work is clear. 511 00:22:30,300 --> 00:22:31,140 Now next, urine. 512 00:22:31,140 --> 00:22:31,980 Okay, now next. 513 00:22:33,020 --> 00:22:35,620 Was it becoming increasingly clear to you though, 514 00:22:35,620 --> 00:22:36,900 that you would be the donor? 515 00:22:36,900 --> 00:22:38,500 I mean, every time you pass one of those hurdles, 516 00:22:38,500 --> 00:22:41,100 were you like, this is happening? 517 00:22:41,100 --> 00:22:46,100 Yes and no, because the tests always throw up something. 518 00:22:46,700 --> 00:22:48,340 So then you have another discussion 519 00:22:48,340 --> 00:22:51,340 and then all along the way, 520 00:22:51,340 --> 00:22:53,100 they are really watching you, right? 521 00:22:53,100 --> 00:22:54,380 They are assessing you. 522 00:22:54,380 --> 00:22:55,700 They're assessing your body. 523 00:22:55,700 --> 00:22:56,540 Very aware. 524 00:22:56,540 --> 00:22:59,420 They were assessing my mental state, my body language. 525 00:23:01,020 --> 00:23:02,020 Are you changing your mind? 526 00:23:02,020 --> 00:23:06,700 And actually, when I, they didn't actually do a scan. 527 00:23:06,700 --> 00:23:10,540 The CT scan was the one that actually shows 528 00:23:10,540 --> 00:23:13,940 the state of your organs and that you have two. 529 00:23:13,940 --> 00:23:15,820 Because I kept saying, can we just do that first? 530 00:23:15,820 --> 00:23:17,900 Because I might've been born with one and not know. 531 00:23:17,900 --> 00:23:19,180 Because that does happen. 532 00:23:19,180 --> 00:23:22,380 And they're like, no, we don't do that too much later on. 533 00:23:22,380 --> 00:23:25,140 And I had a funny discussion. 534 00:23:25,140 --> 00:23:26,620 I had a moment of realization. 535 00:23:26,620 --> 00:23:29,220 And I said to my doctor in one meeting, 536 00:23:29,220 --> 00:23:32,660 do you not do the more serious and more painful tests 537 00:23:32,660 --> 00:23:35,900 until later on because people kind of drop out? 538 00:23:35,900 --> 00:23:37,980 And he said, yeah, of course. 539 00:23:37,980 --> 00:23:39,340 It gets more and more serious. 540 00:23:39,340 --> 00:23:41,620 And they're kind of testing how serious you are. 541 00:23:41,620 --> 00:23:44,780 And are you actually okay to do this? 542 00:23:44,780 --> 00:23:46,980 And are you going to do it or not? 543 00:23:46,980 --> 00:23:50,660 But all along the way, I mean, it really was like, 544 00:23:50,660 --> 00:23:53,780 I'm going to seal the deal, this is going to happen. 545 00:23:53,780 --> 00:23:55,740 So for you, you were obviously very adamant. 546 00:23:55,740 --> 00:23:58,100 You knew that you wanted to go through 547 00:23:58,100 --> 00:23:59,300 with what was happening. 548 00:23:59,300 --> 00:24:01,020 When you first mentioned to your husband 549 00:24:01,020 --> 00:24:03,540 that you could be a potential donor, 550 00:24:03,540 --> 00:24:04,980 what was his mindset? 551 00:24:04,980 --> 00:24:06,940 What were his thoughts behind that? 552 00:24:06,940 --> 00:24:08,300 No, straight away. 553 00:24:08,300 --> 00:24:09,500 I had to persuade him. 554 00:24:11,460 --> 00:24:12,500 It was no straight away. 555 00:24:12,500 --> 00:24:13,980 And I think that at the beginning, 556 00:24:13,980 --> 00:24:16,140 it's not the first major health crisis he's had. 557 00:24:16,140 --> 00:24:17,900 He almost died when he was in his 20s. 558 00:24:17,900 --> 00:24:20,820 He was in a coma for six months with meningitis. 559 00:24:20,820 --> 00:24:22,460 And then he developed septicemia 560 00:24:22,460 --> 00:24:24,700 and he had amputations and things. 561 00:24:24,700 --> 00:24:29,020 So he went through that journey in his 20s. 562 00:24:29,020 --> 00:24:30,700 And he said, I've done it before. 563 00:24:30,700 --> 00:24:32,220 I can do it again. 564 00:24:32,220 --> 00:24:33,220 I can cope with this. 565 00:24:33,220 --> 00:24:38,220 And I just said, I don't want that for my life, 566 00:24:38,340 --> 00:24:40,380 your life, our kids' lives. 567 00:24:41,540 --> 00:24:45,380 And yeah, I really persuaded him 568 00:24:45,380 --> 00:24:47,620 because of course he doesn't want me 569 00:24:47,620 --> 00:24:51,260 or anyone else in his family to be hurt or come to harm. 570 00:24:51,260 --> 00:24:52,780 But I kept saying to him and the doctors, 571 00:24:52,780 --> 00:24:54,860 I'm like, okay, I've had two children. 572 00:24:54,860 --> 00:24:58,820 One that root, one the alternative root. 573 00:24:58,820 --> 00:24:59,860 It can't be that, that. 574 00:24:59,860 --> 00:25:01,940 They're down both streets. 575 00:25:01,940 --> 00:25:04,740 I've said that to the surgeon on our first meeting. 576 00:25:04,740 --> 00:25:08,500 He was explaining the surgery and pain care. 577 00:25:08,500 --> 00:25:09,820 And I said, okay, just tell me one thing. 578 00:25:09,820 --> 00:25:12,460 On a scale of one to C-section, what are we talking here? 579 00:25:12,460 --> 00:25:13,300 Yeah. 580 00:25:13,300 --> 00:25:15,580 I'm interested, what'd he give you? 581 00:25:15,580 --> 00:25:16,420 What'd he give you? 582 00:25:16,420 --> 00:25:21,420 He said, oh, he said, he did give me a number actually. 583 00:25:21,540 --> 00:25:23,140 He said, oh, okay, fine. 584 00:25:23,140 --> 00:25:25,380 You've done, okay, yeah, you'll be fine. 585 00:25:25,380 --> 00:25:28,620 But the pain care after is different 586 00:25:28,620 --> 00:25:33,420 because your epidural gives you a nice slow afterburn, 587 00:25:33,420 --> 00:25:35,740 easing off, whereas the medication 588 00:25:35,740 --> 00:25:38,900 that they give in this surgery is a hard stop after surgery. 589 00:25:38,900 --> 00:25:40,100 So you're in a morphine drip. 590 00:25:40,100 --> 00:25:40,940 Oh wow. 591 00:25:40,940 --> 00:25:45,940 Yeah, what would you say was the hardest or the scariest 592 00:25:46,580 --> 00:25:48,540 part of the whole journey for you? 593 00:25:49,620 --> 00:25:54,620 The scariest part was one time when he got MRSA infection 594 00:25:54,620 --> 00:25:56,100 in one of his catheters. 595 00:25:56,100 --> 00:25:56,940 Oh my God. 596 00:25:56,940 --> 00:25:59,020 So quite in the beginning. 597 00:25:59,020 --> 00:26:03,420 I would say that was six months into it. 598 00:26:03,420 --> 00:26:06,660 And he was in the hospital and they all know, 599 00:26:06,660 --> 00:26:08,980 like Parkway East Hospital, love them. 600 00:26:08,980 --> 00:26:10,540 Everyone knows me, all the receptionists. 601 00:26:10,540 --> 00:26:11,380 Shout out to Parkway. 602 00:26:11,380 --> 00:26:14,420 Exactly, walking distance from my house, 603 00:26:14,420 --> 00:26:17,700 you know, like, walk down, check on my husband. 604 00:26:17,700 --> 00:26:21,700 You know, he was in there so often. 605 00:26:21,700 --> 00:26:25,820 The last infection he got in the second catheter 606 00:26:25,820 --> 00:26:27,660 was MRSA and that is scary. 607 00:26:27,660 --> 00:26:31,140 That is very, very difficult to get rid of. 608 00:26:31,140 --> 00:26:34,220 The specialist doctor said it, kept saying, 609 00:26:34,220 --> 00:26:36,140 it's very sticky. 610 00:26:36,140 --> 00:26:38,000 If it gets into the bones, we're in real trouble. 611 00:26:38,000 --> 00:26:39,620 We don't think it's in the bones yet. 612 00:26:39,620 --> 00:26:41,580 And I thought, you know what it's like in life. 613 00:26:41,580 --> 00:26:43,420 You're focusing on one thing and then something else 614 00:26:43,420 --> 00:26:46,020 comes around and knocks it all out. 615 00:26:46,020 --> 00:26:49,940 And that's the thing that really, you know, 616 00:26:49,940 --> 00:26:50,980 makes it all end. 617 00:26:50,980 --> 00:26:55,100 And I went in one evening and it was a Sunday. 618 00:26:55,100 --> 00:27:00,100 So Sunday's a very slow day in hospitals around the world. 619 00:27:00,980 --> 00:27:03,020 You know, obviously the staff is still there, 620 00:27:03,020 --> 00:27:04,820 but the major staff aren't there. 621 00:27:04,820 --> 00:27:09,660 And so I went in and he had been in for about a week 622 00:27:09,660 --> 00:27:11,900 and he didn't, I took one look at him and I thought, 623 00:27:11,900 --> 00:27:14,940 he does not look like he's improving. 624 00:27:14,940 --> 00:27:16,780 I'm really, really worried now. 625 00:27:16,780 --> 00:27:18,980 And I went to the nurses station and I just broke down 626 00:27:18,980 --> 00:27:21,820 and I was like, are we okay? 627 00:27:21,820 --> 00:27:23,740 Where are we on the treatment plan? 628 00:27:23,740 --> 00:27:24,940 They were amazing. 629 00:27:24,940 --> 00:27:28,180 They took me, you know, got me tissues, got me water, 630 00:27:28,180 --> 00:27:31,860 took me into their office, called the major specialist 631 00:27:31,860 --> 00:27:32,900 on a Sunday evening. 632 00:27:32,900 --> 00:27:34,860 He's pulled away from the dinner table, 633 00:27:34,860 --> 00:27:36,660 has the conversation with me. 634 00:27:37,620 --> 00:27:40,260 And you know, they were really amazing. 635 00:27:40,260 --> 00:27:42,740 But that was really the scariest moment. 636 00:27:42,740 --> 00:27:44,900 Yeah, I mean, I'm not surprised. 637 00:27:44,900 --> 00:27:45,940 No. 638 00:27:45,940 --> 00:27:50,060 And obviously this all sort of happened during COVID. 639 00:27:50,060 --> 00:27:53,780 So things were harder to get through. 640 00:27:53,780 --> 00:27:56,780 Did you, how did you find the support you needed 641 00:27:56,780 --> 00:27:57,780 during this time? 642 00:27:59,380 --> 00:28:02,660 I mean, one thing I would say is that dealing with like 643 00:28:02,660 --> 00:28:05,780 the information is actually quite a huge burden 644 00:28:05,780 --> 00:28:07,620 because like I'm doing work, 645 00:28:07,620 --> 00:28:09,100 I carried on with the businesses, right? 646 00:28:09,100 --> 00:28:11,700 So I'm doing all the business and two kids 647 00:28:11,700 --> 00:28:16,700 and then, you know, father-in-law and then the information. 648 00:28:17,580 --> 00:28:19,300 So every time I go to the hospital, 649 00:28:19,300 --> 00:28:20,500 I'm given all the information 650 00:28:20,500 --> 00:28:22,180 because the children were never ever allowed 651 00:28:22,180 --> 00:28:23,780 to go to the hospital. 652 00:28:23,780 --> 00:28:26,380 Even when he, so a lot of the time he was in intensive care, 653 00:28:26,380 --> 00:28:29,260 but even when he wasn't and he was on a normal ward 654 00:28:29,260 --> 00:28:31,940 throughout the entire time because of COVID rules, 655 00:28:31,940 --> 00:28:32,940 they were never allowed in. 656 00:28:32,940 --> 00:28:35,620 It was only ever me that was allowed to visit. 657 00:28:35,620 --> 00:28:39,020 And so I would get all this information 658 00:28:39,020 --> 00:28:41,380 and then I would, you know, need to go home, 659 00:28:41,380 --> 00:28:43,980 tell the family, but also friends. 660 00:28:43,980 --> 00:28:45,860 And they're trying to support. 661 00:28:45,860 --> 00:28:48,980 But actually one thing I learned is find a person 662 00:28:48,980 --> 00:28:51,180 who'll be like your information. 663 00:28:52,500 --> 00:28:53,780 I don't know, I've lost the words. 664 00:28:53,780 --> 00:28:54,620 Like liaison. 665 00:28:54,620 --> 00:28:55,740 Exactly, exactly. 666 00:28:55,740 --> 00:28:57,260 Who will keep everyone informed 667 00:28:57,260 --> 00:29:00,100 because once you've done all that and all the paperwork, 668 00:29:00,100 --> 00:29:01,540 you know, you just like, 669 00:29:01,540 --> 00:29:04,500 you get the repetition is like exhausting. 670 00:29:04,500 --> 00:29:07,180 So with the family, I would be like, 671 00:29:07,180 --> 00:29:08,460 including the help, I'd be like, right, 672 00:29:08,460 --> 00:29:10,380 everyone needs to do these little committee reasons. 673 00:29:10,380 --> 00:29:11,980 Everyone sit down in the living room. 674 00:29:11,980 --> 00:29:14,540 I'm gonna give you all the information all in one go. 675 00:29:14,540 --> 00:29:15,940 Yeah, that's a really great tip though. 676 00:29:15,940 --> 00:29:18,180 I mean, I even feel that way with happy news, right? 677 00:29:18,180 --> 00:29:20,620 Like when you have a baby and everybody's bombarding you, 678 00:29:20,620 --> 00:29:22,140 you know, tell me, tell me the story, tell me about it. 679 00:29:22,140 --> 00:29:23,820 And it's like, you just wanna tell it once. 680 00:29:23,820 --> 00:29:24,660 Exactly. 681 00:29:24,660 --> 00:29:26,140 With painful news, amplify that. 682 00:29:26,140 --> 00:29:28,100 Yes, exactly, yeah. 683 00:29:28,100 --> 00:29:29,460 I have a question. 684 00:29:29,460 --> 00:29:32,580 I can't help but think about that kind of those few days 685 00:29:32,580 --> 00:29:34,540 lead up time when you noticed your husband 686 00:29:34,540 --> 00:29:37,180 having the swollen face and the hard lip. 687 00:29:37,180 --> 00:29:40,380 Are there signs to the earlier stages of kidney? 688 00:29:40,380 --> 00:29:41,540 Oh, there are so many signs. 689 00:29:41,540 --> 00:29:42,380 Okay. 690 00:29:42,380 --> 00:29:43,420 And they are so obvious. 691 00:29:43,420 --> 00:29:44,340 Okay, tell us girl. 692 00:29:44,340 --> 00:29:48,260 This is really a lesson in please take care of yourselves. 693 00:29:48,260 --> 00:29:49,540 If there is something wrong with you, 694 00:29:49,540 --> 00:29:52,300 don't assume it's what you've, you know, people. 695 00:29:52,300 --> 00:29:53,300 Beasting. 696 00:29:53,300 --> 00:29:57,020 Yeah, or don't assume it's like your lifestyle choices. 697 00:29:57,020 --> 00:29:59,660 So you're not exercising, you're not drinking too much beer. 698 00:29:59,660 --> 00:30:02,060 You know, for years we look back and we're like, 699 00:30:02,060 --> 00:30:04,660 oh my God, all the signs were there. 700 00:30:04,660 --> 00:30:06,980 Swollen ankles is the number one thing. 701 00:30:06,980 --> 00:30:07,820 Okay. 702 00:30:07,820 --> 00:30:09,420 If you've got puffy swollen ankles, 703 00:30:09,420 --> 00:30:12,660 go and get your kidney tested immediately. 704 00:30:16,060 --> 00:30:19,340 His sinuses, so like fluid on the lungs. 705 00:30:19,340 --> 00:30:21,260 We thought he was having sinuses. 706 00:30:21,260 --> 00:30:23,220 So he went to ENT. 707 00:30:23,220 --> 00:30:28,220 He was actually scheduled to have nose surgery in the January. 708 00:30:29,020 --> 00:30:31,820 He went into hospital in December, 2020. 709 00:30:31,820 --> 00:30:36,580 He was actually going to have a surgery on his nose 710 00:30:36,580 --> 00:30:39,820 in the January because that was what they thought it was. 711 00:30:39,820 --> 00:30:43,460 It wasn't at all, nothing wrong with his sinuses. 712 00:30:43,460 --> 00:30:46,980 It was just his lungs were filling with fluid. 713 00:30:46,980 --> 00:30:49,780 There are so many signs and actually it is a bit scary 714 00:30:49,780 --> 00:30:53,620 that we didn't, well, it was wrong of us really 715 00:30:53,620 --> 00:30:55,780 to not go to doctors and not seek. 716 00:30:55,780 --> 00:31:00,060 And when you go to a doctor, go for a second opinion. 717 00:31:00,060 --> 00:31:03,140 If those symptoms don't step aside, right? 718 00:31:03,140 --> 00:31:06,820 If they still are there and don't assume it's 719 00:31:06,820 --> 00:31:08,020 like the food fad things. 720 00:31:08,020 --> 00:31:09,380 I mean, you're both nutritionists 721 00:31:09,380 --> 00:31:11,420 and it's like everyone thinks they've got allergies 722 00:31:11,420 --> 00:31:12,340 and this, that and the other. 723 00:31:12,340 --> 00:31:15,540 And maybe they do, but actually please get, 724 00:31:15,540 --> 00:31:17,900 have a basic blood test done. 725 00:31:17,900 --> 00:31:19,420 Have your urine tested. 726 00:31:19,420 --> 00:31:22,420 Like just make sure all those organs are functioning. 727 00:31:22,420 --> 00:31:24,420 Something we say here and we said it in season one. 728 00:31:24,420 --> 00:31:27,220 We'll say it again here is know your numbers. 729 00:31:27,220 --> 00:31:30,860 Have baselines for every important marker in your body 730 00:31:30,860 --> 00:31:33,660 at least annually, if not every six months 731 00:31:33,660 --> 00:31:35,260 if you've had preexisting problems before. 732 00:31:35,260 --> 00:31:37,020 100% and that's it. 733 00:31:37,020 --> 00:31:39,700 And it's, I think it's a generational change as well 734 00:31:39,700 --> 00:31:41,620 between I hope I'm not ill. 735 00:31:41,620 --> 00:31:42,860 I hope I'm not ill in the back of my mind. 736 00:31:42,860 --> 00:31:44,580 I hope I'm not ill, hope I'm not ill. 737 00:31:44,580 --> 00:31:48,020 Oh, I really feel at breaking point now. 738 00:31:48,020 --> 00:31:51,020 I'm gonna go to the doctor or end up in A&E. 739 00:31:51,020 --> 00:31:53,420 It's turning that into actually, well, 740 00:31:53,420 --> 00:31:56,380 it's a more conversational situation with your doctors. 741 00:31:56,380 --> 00:32:01,380 And yes, it takes time and consistency and a bit of money 742 00:32:01,860 --> 00:32:04,900 but you know, you actually do need to do that. 743 00:32:04,900 --> 00:32:07,780 And you're right, the stats, like I had no idea 744 00:32:07,780 --> 00:32:10,020 before I did all of this, 745 00:32:10,020 --> 00:32:11,900 the amount of blood tests you have to do, 746 00:32:11,900 --> 00:32:14,260 like they really need to track it and know it. 747 00:32:14,260 --> 00:32:15,900 And it's tracking stats. 748 00:32:15,900 --> 00:32:17,940 Yeah, and again, we're here on the 40s formula, right? 749 00:32:17,940 --> 00:32:20,300 So meaning we're talking about healthy aging. 750 00:32:20,300 --> 00:32:22,540 You might not have needed it in your 20s, I get that. 751 00:32:22,540 --> 00:32:25,020 But here in your 40s and 50s, you sure do. 752 00:32:25,020 --> 00:32:27,780 Exactly, exactly, yeah. 753 00:32:27,780 --> 00:32:32,580 So on your Instagram, there's a picture of a butterfly 754 00:32:32,580 --> 00:32:35,060 while you're on staycation. 755 00:32:35,060 --> 00:32:37,260 What was the significance of that? 756 00:32:37,260 --> 00:32:41,940 Oh, okay, so shortly before the surgery, 757 00:32:41,940 --> 00:32:44,660 and actually it's really tricky 758 00:32:44,660 --> 00:32:47,300 because the last thing you do after all the testing 759 00:32:47,300 --> 00:32:49,420 and then they have internal meetings 760 00:32:49,420 --> 00:32:52,260 and the doctors have to ratify their decisions. 761 00:32:52,260 --> 00:32:54,380 It has to be checked and double checked. 762 00:32:54,380 --> 00:32:56,060 And all the while I'm thinking, okay, 763 00:32:56,060 --> 00:32:58,220 people have plastic surgery all the time without any of this. 764 00:32:58,220 --> 00:33:01,820 But anyway, let's do all these meetings. 765 00:33:01,820 --> 00:33:03,660 So do all of that. 766 00:33:03,660 --> 00:33:07,980 And then the surgery date is kind of penciled in. 767 00:33:07,980 --> 00:33:09,140 So the teams can organize, 768 00:33:09,140 --> 00:33:12,300 there's a massive, massive surgical team and recovery team. 769 00:33:12,300 --> 00:33:17,300 So it's penciled in for the 16th of March, 2022, 770 00:33:17,300 --> 00:33:20,420 but the ethics committee have the last sign off 771 00:33:20,420 --> 00:33:22,900 and they don't meet until a week before. 772 00:33:22,900 --> 00:33:24,980 And I have to say that is so stressful. 773 00:33:24,980 --> 00:33:26,980 And I understand why they do it very close to the date 774 00:33:26,980 --> 00:33:29,860 because people do change their minds, things change. 775 00:33:29,860 --> 00:33:32,820 But that for me, I was so worried 776 00:33:32,820 --> 00:33:34,460 that I wouldn't pass the ethics committee. 777 00:33:34,460 --> 00:33:38,500 I don't know why, but your doctor can't coach you, 778 00:33:38,500 --> 00:33:39,780 can't help you. 779 00:33:39,780 --> 00:33:41,460 It's like giving evidence in the court of law. 780 00:33:41,460 --> 00:33:43,700 You really have to go in there 781 00:33:43,700 --> 00:33:45,180 and you don't know what they're gonna ask you 782 00:33:45,180 --> 00:33:47,140 and you don't know who's gonna be on the committee 783 00:33:47,140 --> 00:33:48,140 and everything. 784 00:33:48,140 --> 00:33:51,740 And I understand why, but that for me was very stressful. 785 00:33:51,740 --> 00:33:55,900 But so back to the butterfly, we love Capella Hotel. 786 00:33:55,900 --> 00:33:58,380 That's where we normally go for our staycations. 787 00:33:58,380 --> 00:33:59,900 And we were like, okay, 788 00:33:59,900 --> 00:34:02,340 I feel like we're about to do this major surgery, 789 00:34:02,340 --> 00:34:05,260 hopefully if we get passed by ethics committee. 790 00:34:05,260 --> 00:34:08,060 Let's just pamper ourselves a little bit before. 791 00:34:08,060 --> 00:34:10,300 Let's have a bit of time, just you and me. 792 00:34:10,300 --> 00:34:13,300 So we went to stay with Capella for a couple of nights. 793 00:34:13,300 --> 00:34:15,660 And we were sitting lounging by the pool 794 00:34:15,660 --> 00:34:20,660 and a butterfly came by and landed on my husband's body, 795 00:34:21,820 --> 00:34:24,260 sort of like the lower stomach area 796 00:34:24,260 --> 00:34:26,340 and just stayed there for a while. 797 00:34:26,340 --> 00:34:30,700 And I was like, oh, and took a picture of it. 798 00:34:30,700 --> 00:34:32,780 And it turns out that that is the spot 799 00:34:32,780 --> 00:34:35,780 where my kidney is there now. 800 00:34:35,780 --> 00:34:37,620 It's incredible. That is weird, right? 801 00:34:37,620 --> 00:34:38,460 Getting goosebumps. 802 00:34:38,460 --> 00:34:40,620 It's beautifully weird though, isn't it? 803 00:34:40,620 --> 00:34:41,940 It's beautifully weird. 804 00:34:41,940 --> 00:34:43,540 And I still am not spiritual. 805 00:34:43,540 --> 00:34:46,060 After all that, I still don't believe it. 806 00:34:46,060 --> 00:34:47,300 Yeah. 807 00:34:47,300 --> 00:34:49,180 You're like, maybe that butterfly just, you know, 808 00:34:49,180 --> 00:34:50,020 is stopping by. 809 00:34:50,020 --> 00:34:51,740 I don't know, but that's where it is. 810 00:34:51,740 --> 00:34:52,580 And I didn't know, 811 00:34:52,580 --> 00:34:54,420 because obviously your kidneys are on your back. 812 00:34:54,420 --> 00:34:57,620 But they don't remove the disease kidneys. 813 00:34:57,620 --> 00:34:59,460 They just reroute the lines 814 00:34:59,460 --> 00:35:01,060 and they put the new one in the front. 815 00:35:01,060 --> 00:35:01,900 I did not know that. 816 00:35:01,900 --> 00:35:02,740 Wow. Did you know that? 817 00:35:02,740 --> 00:35:03,860 They did not know that either. 818 00:35:03,860 --> 00:35:05,660 I thought it was a bait and switch situation. 819 00:35:05,660 --> 00:35:08,140 No, because it's that, as always with surgery, 820 00:35:08,140 --> 00:35:12,020 the least trauma possible is the best route to success, 821 00:35:12,020 --> 00:35:13,020 basically. 822 00:35:13,020 --> 00:35:16,540 So it goes in the front and we call it Betty. 823 00:35:17,500 --> 00:35:20,180 And she has a birthday on the season of the watch every year. 824 00:35:20,180 --> 00:35:21,020 Little bet. 825 00:35:21,020 --> 00:35:24,580 And he now says that, you know, he's part white, 826 00:35:24,580 --> 00:35:26,460 part female. 827 00:35:26,460 --> 00:35:27,780 After all these years. 828 00:35:29,780 --> 00:35:30,940 So that's funny. Yeah. 829 00:35:30,940 --> 00:35:33,420 Oh, amazing. 830 00:35:33,420 --> 00:35:35,140 You know, like we said before, 831 00:35:35,140 --> 00:35:38,780 we just can't believe what you would have gone through, 832 00:35:38,780 --> 00:35:40,100 you and your family. 833 00:35:40,100 --> 00:35:43,540 And before we sort of finish up for today, 834 00:35:43,540 --> 00:35:46,180 if you could go back, 835 00:35:46,180 --> 00:35:50,780 is there anything you would say to yourself in the situation 836 00:35:50,780 --> 00:35:54,060 on how you may have done things differently 837 00:35:54,060 --> 00:35:56,420 or what you could look out for? 838 00:35:57,620 --> 00:36:01,300 I mean, obviously we wish he had gone to the doctor's. 839 00:36:01,300 --> 00:36:02,140 It's interesting. 840 00:36:02,140 --> 00:36:03,340 He was going to doctors, 841 00:36:03,340 --> 00:36:05,180 but they were looking at other things. 842 00:36:06,580 --> 00:36:11,580 And I don't know, obviously you start at the GP 843 00:36:13,420 --> 00:36:16,060 and if you're still having the same symptoms 844 00:36:16,060 --> 00:36:17,580 and your GP is prescribing you things, 845 00:36:17,580 --> 00:36:20,820 but it's not really helping, please go to a different one. 846 00:36:20,820 --> 00:36:22,620 Just get another opinion. 847 00:36:22,620 --> 00:36:25,060 And I feel like, I don't know why we feel like that's rude 848 00:36:25,060 --> 00:36:26,500 or something on the first doctor. 849 00:36:26,500 --> 00:36:27,340 I don't know what it is. 850 00:36:27,340 --> 00:36:28,180 We're British. 851 00:36:28,180 --> 00:36:29,700 So British. 852 00:36:29,700 --> 00:36:31,540 Do you bother being an HS? 853 00:36:31,540 --> 00:36:33,060 For Americans, this is not a thing. 854 00:36:33,060 --> 00:36:34,580 We'll be like, nah, this guy doesn't know 855 00:36:34,580 --> 00:36:35,420 what he's talking about. 856 00:36:35,420 --> 00:36:37,540 Show me somebody better. 857 00:36:37,540 --> 00:36:39,060 Don't burden the NHS. 858 00:36:39,060 --> 00:36:40,540 Don't go, this is absolutely necessary. 859 00:36:40,540 --> 00:36:42,380 But really, obviously I wish, 860 00:36:42,380 --> 00:36:43,380 it still would have happened, 861 00:36:43,380 --> 00:36:45,860 but we could have managed it a bit better 862 00:36:45,860 --> 00:36:47,540 and a bit more in the beginning. 863 00:36:47,540 --> 00:36:49,220 I actually am quite proud of myself 864 00:36:49,220 --> 00:36:50,180 for getting through that. 865 00:36:50,180 --> 00:36:52,300 I think that, and the family as well, 866 00:36:52,300 --> 00:36:56,900 my children, my husband and everyone. 867 00:36:56,900 --> 00:37:00,180 I think, yeah, I think, I don't know. 868 00:37:00,180 --> 00:37:02,500 I think we all did a fairly good job. 869 00:37:02,500 --> 00:37:03,340 Amazing. 870 00:37:03,340 --> 00:37:06,260 And just to check, how's your husband now? 871 00:37:06,260 --> 00:37:07,100 Yeah, all good. 872 00:37:07,100 --> 00:37:07,940 Amazing. 873 00:37:07,940 --> 00:37:08,780 Wow. 874 00:37:08,780 --> 00:37:09,620 Fine, fine. 875 00:37:09,620 --> 00:37:12,740 I mean, what is the long-term aftermath? 876 00:37:12,740 --> 00:37:17,740 So the organ should last between 15 and 20 years. 877 00:37:17,980 --> 00:37:21,140 So obviously we know already he'll need another one 878 00:37:21,140 --> 00:37:22,180 at a certain point in time, 879 00:37:22,180 --> 00:37:27,180 but there are some, there are medical tests 880 00:37:27,220 --> 00:37:28,700 going on at the moment. 881 00:37:28,700 --> 00:37:30,020 They're trying to find out a way 882 00:37:30,020 --> 00:37:32,180 of having a mechanical kidney, 883 00:37:32,180 --> 00:37:34,380 or using organs from other animals. 884 00:37:34,380 --> 00:37:36,740 I think there was something in America recently. 885 00:37:36,740 --> 00:37:39,340 I saw an article about a pig organ transplant. 886 00:37:39,340 --> 00:37:40,660 I did see that. 887 00:37:40,660 --> 00:37:42,620 But actually the other thing I would say, 888 00:37:42,620 --> 00:37:43,980 it's weird because in my life, 889 00:37:43,980 --> 00:37:47,700 I've always been a huge advocate for organ donorship, 890 00:37:47,700 --> 00:37:49,860 and I've always had my donor card, 891 00:37:49,860 --> 00:37:51,900 from when I could when I turned 18 in the UK, 892 00:37:51,900 --> 00:37:53,660 I have my donor card, 893 00:37:53,660 --> 00:37:57,540 and I really feel that it should be an opt-out system, 894 00:37:57,540 --> 00:37:58,540 not opt-in. 895 00:37:58,540 --> 00:38:01,620 And everyone's walking around with a spare kidney, 896 00:38:01,620 --> 00:38:02,460 pretty much. 897 00:38:02,460 --> 00:38:04,020 Right, there's bounty, right? 898 00:38:04,020 --> 00:38:06,780 If you think about a family in your situation, 899 00:38:06,780 --> 00:38:08,580 and those of us who would do, 900 00:38:08,580 --> 00:38:11,060 like you said, it should be an opt-out. 901 00:38:11,060 --> 00:38:16,060 I feel like your general humanity opt-in, right? 902 00:38:16,060 --> 00:38:16,900 Yes, yes. 903 00:38:16,900 --> 00:38:19,940 And it's like this surgery has been done, 904 00:38:19,940 --> 00:38:21,380 tried and tested and been done. 905 00:38:21,380 --> 00:38:23,220 Obviously it's not 100% safe, 906 00:38:23,220 --> 00:38:25,780 but it is a well-trodden path, right? 907 00:38:25,780 --> 00:38:28,580 And the specialist teams around the world, 908 00:38:28,580 --> 00:38:31,060 because obviously I investigated like Plan A, B, C, D, right? 909 00:38:31,060 --> 00:38:32,780 So Plan A was me here. 910 00:38:32,780 --> 00:38:37,180 Plan B was maybe India completely privately. 911 00:38:37,180 --> 00:38:38,300 I give my organ out, 912 00:38:38,300 --> 00:38:39,700 and then we get another random one 913 00:38:39,700 --> 00:38:42,180 if the matches work better that way. 914 00:38:42,180 --> 00:38:44,020 Move to Spain. 915 00:38:44,020 --> 00:38:45,860 We can't really use this again, 916 00:38:45,860 --> 00:38:46,700 move to Spain. 917 00:38:46,700 --> 00:38:47,540 Yeah, all day. 918 00:38:47,540 --> 00:38:48,740 Or America, of course. 919 00:38:48,740 --> 00:38:51,660 There's loads of kidney transplants done in America. 920 00:38:51,660 --> 00:38:55,660 So I feel like it's a very, 921 00:38:55,660 --> 00:39:00,660 it's more about please do if you're okay. 922 00:39:03,060 --> 00:39:04,820 If someone in your family is going through this. 923 00:39:04,820 --> 00:39:06,420 Obviously it's a big trauma, 924 00:39:06,420 --> 00:39:08,780 and insurance is a bit more complicated for me now, 925 00:39:08,780 --> 00:39:09,620 but so what? 926 00:39:09,620 --> 00:39:10,940 I mean, that's life, right? 927 00:39:11,860 --> 00:39:14,180 So 15 to 20 years, he should be good. 928 00:39:14,180 --> 00:39:17,580 And then we'll find another one from somewhere, 929 00:39:17,580 --> 00:39:19,620 maybe a mechanical one, who knows? 930 00:39:19,620 --> 00:39:21,100 Yeah, amazing. 931 00:39:21,100 --> 00:39:23,460 And how are you? 932 00:39:23,460 --> 00:39:24,740 Fine, I mean fine. 933 00:39:24,740 --> 00:39:28,060 So they check on me every year at Newcotts. 934 00:39:28,060 --> 00:39:30,020 So I actually, it's really brilliant, 935 00:39:30,020 --> 00:39:31,620 because if I have any health problems, 936 00:39:31,620 --> 00:39:34,780 I just WhatsApp my coordinator still now. 937 00:39:34,780 --> 00:39:37,580 Anything, and they get me to the best specialist doctors. 938 00:39:37,580 --> 00:39:39,700 NUHR, amazing. 939 00:39:39,700 --> 00:39:42,940 And that team at Newcotts are so wonderful. 940 00:39:42,940 --> 00:39:45,220 And not just the doctors and the nurses, 941 00:39:45,220 --> 00:39:46,540 but like all the support team, 942 00:39:46,540 --> 00:39:48,940 like the people on the reception, 943 00:39:48,940 --> 00:39:52,020 and they all know all those patients. 944 00:39:52,020 --> 00:39:54,980 And they're long-term patients for that unit. 945 00:39:54,980 --> 00:39:58,620 And how they keep doing that work, 946 00:39:58,620 --> 00:40:00,420 day in, day out, and the camaraderie and everything, 947 00:40:00,420 --> 00:40:02,540 it's really wonderful to watch. 948 00:40:02,540 --> 00:40:03,700 So shout out to Parkway East, 949 00:40:03,700 --> 00:40:06,220 shout out to NUH, you are getting our praises. 950 00:40:06,220 --> 00:40:07,620 Absolutely, yeah. 951 00:40:07,620 --> 00:40:08,460 Thank you, Claire. 952 00:40:08,460 --> 00:40:11,820 It's been really wonderful hearing your story, 953 00:40:11,820 --> 00:40:14,580 an incredibly scary, but inspiring story. 954 00:40:14,580 --> 00:40:15,420 Thank you. Thank you. 955 00:40:15,420 --> 00:40:16,540 Thanks for having me. 956 00:40:19,220 --> 00:40:21,100 This is Paul, our editor. 957 00:40:21,100 --> 00:40:24,060 He's a 25-year-old unmarried Singaporean guy, 958 00:40:24,060 --> 00:40:26,300 listening to the ramblings of 12 older women 959 00:40:26,300 --> 00:40:29,860 on everything from menopause to weightlifting to sex. 960 00:40:29,860 --> 00:40:33,300 So Paul, what's your thoughts on today's conversation? 961 00:40:33,300 --> 00:40:35,100 Hey, what's up? Paul here. 962 00:40:35,100 --> 00:40:38,260 So for this episode, I will be really honest. 963 00:40:38,260 --> 00:40:40,180 I don't exactly have much of an opinion 964 00:40:40,180 --> 00:40:41,900 because I've not been in a situation 965 00:40:41,900 --> 00:40:44,500 with end-stage kidney failure 966 00:40:44,500 --> 00:40:46,100 or any of my relatives going through it. 967 00:40:46,100 --> 00:40:49,060 But, you know, Claire, I think what you shared today 968 00:40:49,060 --> 00:40:51,060 was really useful, it's really helpful. 969 00:40:51,060 --> 00:40:54,300 Especially like going through a time of crisis 970 00:40:54,300 --> 00:40:56,140 where you least expect and what you did 971 00:40:56,140 --> 00:41:01,140 and how you overcame, I guess, that sudden initial setback. 972 00:41:01,580 --> 00:41:04,140 But at the same time, it's a really inspiring story 973 00:41:04,140 --> 00:41:07,900 of how you went through the whole process 974 00:41:07,900 --> 00:41:12,260 and yeah, and I guess continuing life, 975 00:41:12,260 --> 00:41:14,380 but in a really positive way. 976 00:41:14,380 --> 00:41:16,580 So thank you for sharing your story 977 00:41:16,580 --> 00:41:19,660 and yeah, hope to catch you in the next one. 978 00:41:19,660 --> 00:41:21,540 See ya. 979 00:41:21,540 --> 00:41:23,100 Guys, you know how much we love coffee 980 00:41:23,100 --> 00:41:24,380 and if you wanna show us some love, 981 00:41:24,380 --> 00:41:25,540 you know you can get us one. 982 00:41:25,540 --> 00:41:30,220 Just visit buymeacoffee.com slash the 40s formula. 983 00:41:30,220 --> 00:41:31,060 Cheers. 984 00:41:32,460 --> 00:41:34,860 We recently had a review from Abhadeep NC 985 00:41:34,860 --> 00:41:37,100 on episode eight with Priyanka Ray. 986 00:41:37,100 --> 00:41:40,460 This episode is a must for all gender agnostic. 987 00:41:40,460 --> 00:41:41,980 Priyanka takes us through a journey 988 00:41:41,980 --> 00:41:46,300 and quite frankly teaches us to pause, reflect and resume. 989 00:41:46,300 --> 00:41:48,820 Thank you Abhadeep NC for listening to the episode. 990 00:41:48,820 --> 00:41:51,940 It's so great that we have male and female listeners 991 00:41:51,940 --> 00:41:54,220 that can relish in what is being said 992 00:41:54,220 --> 00:41:55,820 by our speakers and guests. 993 00:41:57,300 --> 00:42:00,060 Before we go, please remember to hit subscribe 994 00:42:00,060 --> 00:42:02,340 and take a moment to support the 40s formula 995 00:42:02,340 --> 00:42:05,580 by leaving a review on your favorite podcast platform. 996 00:42:05,580 --> 00:42:07,580 Your reviews will help us to reach more people 997 00:42:07,580 --> 00:42:10,300 and allow us to continue to bring valuable content. 998 00:42:10,300 --> 00:42:11,380 It should only take a moment 999 00:42:11,380 --> 00:42:13,540 and it's a free way for you to support the show. 1000 00:42:13,540 --> 00:42:15,820 You can also stay updated with the 40s formula 1001 00:42:15,820 --> 00:42:20,540 by following us on Instagram at the 40s formula, all one word. 1002 00:42:20,540 --> 00:42:22,380 We share behind the scenes insights, 1003 00:42:22,380 --> 00:42:24,060 episode updates and much more. 1004 00:42:24,060 --> 00:42:26,780 So please be sure to hit that follow button. 1005 00:42:26,780 --> 00:42:28,340 We appreciate your time and support. 1006 00:42:28,340 --> 00:42:30,100 Thank you for being part of this community 1007 00:42:30,100 --> 00:42:31,100 and we'll be back next week 1008 00:42:31,100 --> 00:42:34,300 for more empowering conversations with inspiring guests. 1009 00:42:34,300 --> 00:42:35,140 Bye. Bye. 1010 00:42:35,140 --> 00:42:54,140 P plants. 1011 00:43:05,140 --> 00:43:21,020 I did the full Amritsar at Christmas. 1012 00:43:21,020 --> 00:43:22,020 Did you? 1013 00:43:22,020 --> 00:43:25,860 I went to the bindi, stayed with the family and I am a city girl. 1014 00:43:25,860 --> 00:43:29,300 To be fair, it's a trip I want to do with the boys. 1015 00:43:29,300 --> 00:43:34,020 Like at one point I said to my husband, when would be the right time to go to India with 1016 00:43:34,020 --> 00:43:35,020 the boys? 1017 00:43:35,020 --> 00:43:36,460 I think it's going to be a massive culture shock for them. 1018 00:43:36,460 --> 00:43:37,540 There's no right time. 1019 00:43:37,540 --> 00:43:41,700 So what I did was the last trip I had, it was with my mother-in-law, but not with my 1020 00:43:41,700 --> 00:43:42,700 husband. 1021 00:43:42,700 --> 00:43:46,460 I have butter with the vegetables and things. 1022 00:43:46,460 --> 00:43:50,140 They were doing everything fresh for me and I said, this is amazing. 1023 00:43:50,140 --> 00:43:53,060 We went in Feb and it was cold. 1024 00:43:53,060 --> 00:43:56,100 So cold I didn't actually want to wash my hair there so I kept going to the salon for 1025 00:43:56,100 --> 00:44:00,340 a blowout and I was like, it's so cheap. 1026 00:44:00,340 --> 00:44:04,540 The equivalent I think was to $10 to go get my hair washed and then blow it out and I 1027 00:44:04,540 --> 00:44:06,980 was like, oh I love this lifestyle. 1028 00:44:06,980 --> 00:44:08,980 And then we're back in Singapore and I'm like, we're not wearing hair now. 1029 00:44:08,980 --> 00:44:13,220 I didn't count on one hand the amount of blowouts I've had in 10 years. 1030 00:44:13,220 --> 00:44:16,060 It's my favorite thing to get my hair done. 1031 00:44:16,060 --> 00:44:17,860 I would choose that over a massage usually. 1032 00:44:17,860 --> 00:44:19,180 I love getting my hair done. 1033 00:44:19,180 --> 00:44:35,180 I find it quite nice.