So I'm grateful for my religious upbringing because it opened me to these ideas where I could easily experiment with them without having to step through the skeptical doorway.
But I prefer to mainline.
Mainline but divine.
Exactly, yeah, hook me up.
Hello and welcome to the 40s Formula, your go-to place for insightful discussions on navigating your 40s and thriving in this transformative decade.
We're your hosts, Amanda and Jasmine, two women that are passionate about exploring the challenges and adventures that come with turning 40 and what lies ahead.
Dani van de Velde is a meditation leader, healer, transformative leader and coach who helps others understand and master the art of meditation, transformative inner practice and healing.
Alongside her private coaching, energy sessions, courses and tailored programs, she's become a popular speaker at networking forums and workshops, a published author, a prolific fellow podcaster and a music producer and holds regular retreats in Asia and Australia.
Dani is also a Reiki master and a qualified meditation teacher, as well as a member of the Meditation Association of Australia and the International Meditation Teachers Association.
Dani's teaching is experiential.
She draws from the techniques and wisdoms of numerous world traditions, current research, as well as the depth of her own experience.
Her focus is on enabling others to understand and work with the design and function of their mind and energy systems to engage in transformative inner practice to maximize performance, self-heal and live intuitively.
So I have been waiting before we launch season one to have Dani here on the podcast.
So I am infinitely happy to have you here.
And more so because we have not touched on this topic at all, the topic of spirituality and intuition and kind of changing your approach in your 40s.
So thank you so much for being here, making the time.
Thank you so much, ladies.
I do remember when you messaged me first.
It was a little while ago and I thought 40s formula.
I'm well into my 50s.
Do I qualify for this?
I'm thrilled to be here.
You're overqualified.
You got a PhD in the 40s.
We'll see about that.
We'll unpack it.
But can you tell us a little bit about how you came into your line of work?
I mean, doing what you do, there's not a very straightforward blueprint, right?
No, there isn't.
And I have to say, for me, it was a search for meaning.
So that's been something that's always marked the way that I think.
Like, why?
I was one of those girls.
But why?
And I still am one of those girls.
But I was also raised in a family that geared its right up for careers.
So I had a fantastic education.
My father was a very successful businessman.
All of my siblings are very successful in their endeavours.
And we were raised that way as well.
So I studied business.
I studied law and finance.
I went on to postgraduate studies as well in property and finance and so on.
So I got to the point where my dad said, I think you should stop collecting degrees
now.
Absolutely, you should stop.
And I love business.
You know, I worked particularly in capital raising.
I love the dynamic of that.
I love the psychology of business as well.
Like, I focused quite a bit during my career on cultural change
and behavioural change within organisations.
Found it fascinating.
Yet all along, there was this quest for meaning and this, I guess, dabbling.
You know, I read a lot of books.
I searched a lot of different modalities and frameworks.
I still had a lot of unanswered questions from the faith of my origin.
I grew up a Catholic.
And I had a lot of questions that I didn't feel were satisfactorily,
if that's the word, answered.
And so I had a quest for meaning.
At the same time, I had a brilliant sort of pretty good trajectory of career
and what you could mark as success.
But the more successful I was in my career, the bigger the question
about why am I here?
What am I doing?
What's purpose?
What's the meaning of life?
And so I did a bungee jump.
Wow.
So right at the peak of my career.
And I remember having a conversation with my father.
He said, you know, what are you doing?
And I said, I really don't know.
But I do know that I'm not getting a sense of fulfilment and purpose
in my career.
I do know that I'm here for a different reason.
And I know that the only way I'm going to find it
is if I create some space.
But interestingly, there was a movement.
I was working on manifestation principles privately.
And an opportunity opened which enabled me to leave my career,
still be funded.
I was offered a redundancy, which was really unexpected and out of the blue.
And I was working in London at the time.
And it allowed me to stay in London.
Because that was the thing that was holding me back.
Because I bought a property in London.
I was paying off Pound Sterling.
I was well paid.
So I had a lovely lifestyle.
I had a lot of choice.
And I was afraid that if I just sort of jumped into the unknown,
that that would change.
And especially my financial commitments, really.
But I was offered a redundancy.
And that enabled two more years in London, really diving
into the esoteric scene and finding teachers, really.
That's what I needed.
I was sort of slashing my way through the spiritual jungle on my own.
And I then found some teachers to really get some method and discipline
into understanding my mind, understanding the energy body.
I tended towards yogic philosophy.
It made sense to me.
And also, it's quite practical.
Pranayama, yoga asana, all of these beautiful ancient practices
are all around mastery of the mind through the body
and preparation for meditation.
And so I tended towards that.
And then I moved back to Australia.
And I found my first and enduring teacher, Louise Gilmore.
She's still my mentor.
And she started really teaching me the tin tacks of meditation.
And then I went on with her to qualify as a meditation teacher.
And that's when it all really sort of kick started.
And that's how I teach.
So my understanding of understanding the spiritual aspect,
being able to perceive vital life force and energy
and opening your perception to more subtle information, which
is available to all of us, which we might call intuition,
and then further out, psychic awareness,
it's got to start with some form of mastery of your mind.
And as I evolved in my understanding of what modern spirituality is,
I just taught what I was mastering myself,
which I think is really key in the spiritual industry.
And I think you can tell when you're with a teacher that maybe
is teaching from theory rather than authentic mastery.
So I'm quite big on that.
So I only teach what I know and practice.
So that's kind of how it happened.
And then it evolved.
It evolved into energy healing.
It evolved into I still really love going back into corporates.
So a large part of my work is running workshops,
doing keynote talks and things for corporates,
for groups of leaders in employee programs, which I love.
And I think because I understand that world,
I can translate what I teach into a language which is absorbable
and which is useful in a corporate context.
But I also hold psychic development circles.
I'm an Asui Reiki master.
And I teach.
I'm a master teacher, so I teach other people
the art of Reiki and intuitively reading and coaching clients
in a healing context.
And it continues to evolve.
So I'm now working in the arena of psychic mediumship,
which I know you want to talk about today.
Yeah, I definitely want to talk about.
So that's what I love about spiritual inquiry
and about understanding consciousness in the mind
is there's no end.
You never really arrive.
And I find that super exciting.
Yeah.
Well, you say you never really arrive.
I am curious to how you arrived in Asia because generally,
and again, I'm making a big swath generalization here,
the Asian culture isn't as open to some of the very woo-woo ideas
that, for example, you go into a predominantly Asian
corporation.
And you're like, hey, we're here to talk about energy healing
and aligning your chakras and whatever.
I don't feel like Asia is the starting point for that reception.
How did you get here?
And how have you been able to make inroads into this culture?
Yeah, OK, it's a good question.
But I challenge that view.
So a lot of the, what's the word, the technology,
if you like, in what I teach comes from Southeast Asia.
So mudra, mantra, an understanding
of the meridians in the body, an understanding
of vital life force.
A lot of the smarts from that was developed
through the ancient Southeast Asian cultures,
and of course, India as well.
And so I think there is an openness
to understanding holistic measures for well-being.
And you look at traditional Chinese medicine,
which is a massive industry here.
It's massive.
Also, feng shui.
I think there is an understanding of, let's just say, energy.
And that provides a curiosity, I think.
But I would say, so I first came here with my husband's work.
And I had planned to be a full 100% full-time ex-pat wife.
I was going to learn mahjong.
I'm going to do lots of yoga.
I'm going to go out for lots of lovely lunches with Rosé.
And I gave it a good shot for about a month.
And I was like, I can't do it.
And I think this is a common experience.
You've got someone looking after your household,
which is just divine.
Even still, 10 years later, I'm still going,
my sheets are getting changed today.
It is such a privilege to live here with that setup.
My husband hit the ground running.
We moved here because he traveled.
He had a global responsibility, so being in the middle.
But it meant he was off.
And the kids just hit the ground running.
So I was sort of left going, OK, here's an opportunity now.
I was hesitant to start teaching meditation here,
given that what I was teaching came from Asia mainly.
But what I found when I first arrived here 10 years ago
was that there wasn't a big spectrum of offerings
in modern spiritual exploration.
So you either would go to a Buddhist temple,
which is what I ended up doing.
So I'm not a practicing Buddhist,
but I love the discipline of Buddhist meditation.
And I couldn't find anything that I vibed with.
So it was either you went back into a religious structure
that had meditation and introspection
as part of the modality, or you joined what
appeared to be, when I first arrived here,
very private, quite closed communities with a head guru,
which I'm always a bit ee, and super expensive.
And I was like, what's in the middle?
And I also really like neuroscience.
I like to know what's happening in my body.
I can feel the shifts that are happening when I meditate,
when I do certain practices, when I work with mantra
or mudra, when I do yoga or asana.
I can feel the benefit.
But what's actually happening?
And that's sort of how my mind is.
There wasn't anything there that mixed a bit of psychology,
a bit of neuroscience, and a bit of ancient practice.
And so that's what I started to teach.
And it just went off.
So I felt like I was, in my own exploration,
needing something.
I found my niche.
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And now, back to the conversation.
I was going to ask, actually, if you
needed to be religious to get into this spirituality mode.
Because there's always this, I guess, I don't know,
perception that you're either religious or spiritual
or agnostic.
Is there a connection?
Yeah, look, and it is a bit murky and blurry.
And I think, as well, particularly in Southeast Asia,
there is this tradition of having a guru, which
is similar, I guess, to a priest,
where there is some form of agency between you
and the divine, or you and your higher self, or the god
that you know, whatever you want to call it.
This, I feel, is very disempowering.
And so what I like to teach is you are what
it is that you're seeking.
I love that.
And if you understand, in a more expansive way,
the operation of consciousness, your mind-body connection,
how energy is perceivable and how it works.
And if you can start to understand
that your experiential life and your inner life
are actually one and the same thing,
and this is sort of what I teach,
then you have no requirement for a third party or a broker
to the divine.
And but there are some things that
do happen in deep states of meditation,
and also what I observe in spiritual community, which
are bordering on supernatural in feeling,
only because they're new experiences.
And some people would equate that to a religious experience.
So when we go into, for example, very deep states
of meditation, the part of our brain
that allows us to gauge past, present, and future
and where we sit within that, and also
is the part of our brain which is attributed
to the inner critic, which is the risk
assessment part of the brain, goes
into a state called temporary hypofrontality, which
means it just temporarily shuts down.
The experience of that, of that temporary hypofrontality,
is that what John Kabat-Zinn describes
is we're plunged into the deep now.
So that dissipation to the future
and what's going to happen and what should happen
and what haven't I done and nuh-uh-uh,
which women know very well, and that dissipation
into the past, what I could have done,
what would have happened, what should have happened,
or what I could have done better, that rumination,
that shuts down.
And all of a sudden, our awareness
snapped into a very acute sense of presence and self.
And for some people, that feels like a spiritual experience.
And also the shutdown of the inner script.
And it goes very quiet.
And all of a sudden, you get a different sense
of self and awareness.
And a lot of people attribute that
to a spiritual awakening or a spiritual experience.
Now, I would guess that they're one and the same thing.
What I'm talking about is what happens in the brain,
but it facilitates what some people might say
is a religious experience.
The other thing with the blurry line with religion as well
is a lot of the smarts on meditation, on contemplation,
on exploring the mystery of life come from religions.
But these frameworks do not necessarily
require you to subscribe to a particular form of a deity
or a particular form of dogma.
And that's what I do.
So I like to extract the modalities and the principles
as well and some of the perspectives on consciousness
and mind and what it is to be human,
but without the requirement to subscribe to a god or a dogma.
And I think that's what, and certainly
what I'm experiencing in my business and my community,
is that's what people are seeking.
So you were raised in a Catholic family as well as I was.
And I loved it.
I loved the prayer.
I loved the church.
I loved the devotion.
I loved the song.
I loved the consistency, the routine,
knowing what was coming next.
Absolutely, the repetition and the community.
Now, yet, like many of us, when the systemic abuse that
was within the church came to light,
it was very difficult for us to subscribe to the system.
Yet there were many elements of the system.
Also, the other things, the sacraments, the ritual.
So these things are inherently human.
Ritual, marking the initiations of life.
Devotional, blissful prayer.
Leaning into feelings of deep gratitude and awe and wonder.
These don't belong to any one religion.
These are innately higher resonances of the human heart.
And so I'm grateful for my religious upbringing
because it opened me to these ideas
where I could easily experiment with them
without having to step through the skeptical doorway.
But I'm not that I prefer to mainline.
Mainline, but divine.
Exactly.
Yeah, hook me up.
I don't believe we are designed to require an agency
to our spirituality or a broker.
Are you in situations where you have to talk to these brokers?
Meaning, have you been in conversations with religious leaders?
With religious leaders?
I have a number of religious leaders who are my private clients.
Wow.
Interesting.
So and also, of course, we're talking about a spectrum of people.
So not everyone who's a religious leader is dogmatic.
And so obviously, the people who come to me that do run communities
or run churches are open to energy healing and so on.
And I do think there is, in all of the traditions,
in the progressive arms of them, there is an acknowledgment
that one way isn't the only way now.
And I think that's good.
I think we can learn through these different modalities,
these different refractions of what we might call the divine
or spirit or the non-tangible.
And of course, we're seeing a huge rise in popularity of Western
seekers into the indigenous arts of shamanism, plant ceremony,
and some of the beautiful wisdom that comes from non-dogmatic.
You could say they've quite strict frameworks
in some of the different locations of shamanism,
but they're non-dogmatic and dogmatic and they accept all.
And so there's a lot of people I know that are going to find teachers.
A lot of people come to me to tap my teachers in shamanism as well.
So I think this is the privilege of the age that we're in.
We've got access to everything.
Beautiful books, beautiful scripture, beautiful teachers,
new modern day mystics and the mystics of history.
But we can access it and thanks to the internet,
which of course you do need to be very discerning about what you're getting into.
And so there is this blending which is happening,
which doesn't necessarily require you to sign up or bow to anyone.
Exactly, or pay money.
Or pay money.
That was always one that bothered me.
It was like, I have to get money out of my pocket to be in this community.
Yeah, it's interesting.
But I agree with you and some of them are crazy.
But the idea of giving alms, which is very, very old, by the way,
and you see it in sort of Middle Eastern culture in religions,
and you see it in Islam, you see it in Judaism, you see it in Christianity.
But there's sort of the exoteric understanding of that,
which is like you're buying favour.
But there's an esoteric understanding of that, which is around the law of abundance.
So I find that really interesting that a lot of this sort of dogmatic rules
and societal side of most religions, and then there's a mystical esoteric side.
And that's usually where religions come from initially.
And so there is this idea of to understand abundance
and to generate abundance in your life.
It's a flow.
And so to give is to receive.
And to release attachment to abundance and allow it,
it creates a flow principle in your life.
And I certainly live by that.
So I give a large part of my business revenue away.
And I have done ever since I've been in business.
But I see the principle in action.
So the day that I release the monthly funds from the charity circles
and things that I do, I have an influx of bookings.
There's definitely a relationship.
I've seen it every I see it every month.
So I agree with the you've got to pay money to buy a ticket to heaven
or you've got to offer exclusive membership in this cult or whatever it is.
I don't agree with that.
But there is an esoteric principle under most of those things that we don't like,
which is we lose. We've lost them.
So that's one example.
And I think that's a very everything.
I love your tagline about de-woofing.
Like, let's bring spirituality, spirituality back to something that feels familiar
and accessible and exactly what you said, something that we can all kind of take part in
because it is us. Absolutely.
And I think that is a message that is not yet flooded the mainstream,
which is that it doesn't have to be accessed through a person or a practice or,
you know, anything like that, that it's within us already.
Now, that being said, let's talk about something super wooey,
which is the idea of psychic mediumship. Right.
So, OK, so now, you know, it's like, OK, if we can accept that there is a flow energy
and something that we're all part of as human beings,
how do we transition that into understanding what a psychic does?
And, you know, again, obviously against the media backdrop of what a psychic is.
Yeah. OK, OK. So so psychic mediumship.
So I I have to preface this by saying
I'm definitely still developing this case.
So what's the I've been working as a psychic for years.
Now, what a psychic is, is I believe we're all psychic for a start.
And I quite like the yogic view of our senses.
So we know that we've got bodily senses like our sight, our hearing,
our touch, our taste and so on.
But this is just one end of the of a pole, a sensory pole.
So where we have mundane sight, if you like, through our eyeballs,
we also have clairvoyance where we have we can hear things through our ears.
We also have clairaudience.
So and the two arms of this pole is there's one that's body based.
And then if you if we slide up the pole, we'll get to intero senses.
So and all of you, all of us have experienced it.
So this is where your body will signal usually a threat
or you we were talking about pregnancy before we came on.
Right. You know, when you're pregnant and you're a ceases,
your senses are peaked.
So you're aware when you're in the company of someone, if it's safe or not.
I remember when I was first pregnant, I'd go outside my kitchen door
and I could smell if an animal had been there the night.
Your sense of smell gets super peaky.
So your body is able to perceive information
that your mundane senses can't necessarily.
So that's the form of intuition, but it's body based intuition.
Now, if you move further up the scale and all of us have these experiences,
but because they're difficult to measure
and a bit difficult to explain causality of,
we tend to dismiss them.
All of us have thought of that girlfriend or that person,
and then we've heard from them and or we've learned
that something's going down in their life.
We've all had it.
We've all had a dream which has come with a particular feeling
which has remained with us.
And then something, an event or something has gone down
either in our lives or in the media.
And you're going, you know, I felt that.
All of us can feel shifts in movements of the moon.
You know, men and women can.
We're directly affected by the lunar cycle.
So the whole planet is.
This is intuition.
So this is where you're still getting information flagged to your awareness,
but it's definitely not coming from your body.
It's coming from an aspect of your mind, of your consciousness.
And then I would say right up the other end of the scale,
your psychic senses.
And these can be cultivated.
So this is where you can initiate perceiving non-obvious information at will.
Interesting. OK.
So and this is where a client will come to me
and we will do a Reiki sort of session.
And with that amplified energy flow,
I will be able to read potentialities that are very close to happening in their life.
And I love it because they will all get the message,
the job came through.
Oh, wow.
Or, yes, I've tested. I'm pregnant.
Yeah.
Or and but it's not that I'm plucking this out of the air.
It's just that I'm operating at a finer, more subtle degree of that sensory pole.
So and I teach psychic development and that's super fun
because women come in, mainly women, not surprisingly.
And they will do an exercise and they will accurately read a partner
that they've only just met and they'll accurately read whatever the exercise.
And they're going, I can do this.
They were all doing it all the time.
It's just that we're very dissipated.
Now, what started happening with me in my healing sessions,
I started perceiving very, very accurate information about the client,
but it had a very different energy to it.
So the way that I would say is if I'm if I'm picking up psychic information,
for me, it feels it's a little bit duller and it's a little bit like reading a book.
OK, interesting.
I started getting information about the client that felt like it was alive.
I knew it was different.
Wow.
And also the accuracy of it was way sharper.
Yeah.
So and and I felt it wasn't like I didn't see someone in spirit next to me.
It was the voltage of the psychic information I knew was different.
And then when I would start to relay it to my clients after the session,
they would say that that's what my grandmother used to say,
or that was what my mom used to say.
And I started to make the connection that this information was directly related
to their loved ones in spirit.
Yeah.
I then thought, well, it's happening anyway.
I'm going to I'm going to find someone who can teach me how to do it.
And so and that's how I found it.
And this is the mediumship.
So now this is the difference between just psychic and psychic mediumship.
Exactly.
OK.
So and but I do think because we're all psychic, we're all able to do this as well.
But you need to have a bit of mastery over your psychic senses.
And I think I just hit that tipping point because I've been working as a psychic for
and I was confident in it.
So that's how I found my Christine Morgan, who's coming here next week.
OK.
And I've been in a weekly tutoring sort of Zoom call with her with other working
psychic mediums for about three years now.
I don't miss it.
I love it.
Yeah.
And I joke, you know, that I start every week on Monday morning talking to dead people.
What the difference is with Western mediumship, which is what I love, which really appeals
to my interrogative mind, is that it has to be evidenced.
So it's nothing like what you might see in some circles where someone is like channeling
Archangel Michael or something like that, which, you know, a lot of people love.
But I'm sitting there going, well, how do we know it is?
Yeah.
You know, whereas Western psychic mediumship is the information has to be evidenced.
And so I held a circle last night.
So I hold a monthly circle called The New Moon Lodge.
I've been doing it for 10 years every month in Singapore, unless I'm travelling.
I used to run them myself, the women's circles, and I used to run them myself.
And now I get occasionally I'll get people in to do it, who's an expert in some kind
of spiritual field.
And last night we held a mediumship demonstration.
So I did it alongside a beautiful medium here.
She's a Japanese medium called Hitomi Sano.
And her speciality is trance mediumship.
And this is where she is able, we had a demonstration of it last night.
It's incredible, where she's able to alter her brainwave patterning at will from a beta
brainwave through to alpha and through to a theta wave.
And once she hits the theta wave, she is able to bring through information from the spirit
realm, which is relevant to people in the circle.
Wow.
I know.
And she's really humble.
And she's really, really good at it.
And so she did that.
So that's one form of mediumship.
And afterwards we had a share and we said, OK, hands up.
There were about four different messages.
Who's got that?
One of them was around a disconnect in family and how you feel you're being unseen, but
you feel the impulse to keep loving and giving.
And it was an affirmation, keep doing it.
And we said, we opened it up and said, who's got that going on at the moment currently
in their family?
Five hands went up.
Wow.
And so it was almost like she could read multiple messages.
Yeah.
So the spirit realm was touching her mind once she got it into a receptive state.
So the loved ones in spirit of the people that they were delivering a message through
her mind and what her job was to get it into a theta brainwave state so she could perceive
it.
And then it was my turn.
And so what I do is psychic evidential mediumship.
So I don't go into trance.
It's quite the opposite.
We had to put on some music.
We had to lift the energy.
And then I bring through people in spirit specifically for individuals in the audience.
And do they approach you with questions first or is it more?
So you can't determine who in the spirit realm is going to come through.
OK.
So but what you can determine is very specifically who it is.
And so the first thing that happens is I will and the reason why I've moved into mediumship
from talking about psychic work is that's how the spirit realm communicates to us.
It's in our mind.
And so you need to have some mastery of your mind to know is this am I thinking this?
Am I picking it up psychically or is this actually a living mind that's communicating
to me?
That's what I love about evidential mediumship.
We first of all had a mother come through.
The evidence that she showed was and it's really like I can't make it.
I can't possibly make it up like she showed growing bright red currents.
She showed that they used to collect them.
She showed that they lived in a very cold climate.
Immediately a woman put her hand up and she said I collected red currents with my mother.
When we lived in Scandinavia, it was always freezing.
And then so once we've got we know who it is and we've landed who they've come through
for that's when the messages come through.
What type of messages are generally like are people asking oh is this going to happen in
the future or is it more like we're okay you'll be safe?
Like what sort of thing is?
It's just it's different for everybody.
Like you know there were I mean for this mother that came through there was an apology.
There was a grandmother that came through who just was gorgeous and super kooky and
told us and confirmed with the lady in the circle how strict she was about setting the
table and like all of these things you know that are very very personal to the to the
receiver.
But she didn't have a message but all she was doing was evidencing that she's the
oh no she did have a message sorry.
This lady confirmed that her grandmother has come through before but not for two years.
And I thought there's a reason why she's coming through tonight.
So I sort of leaned back into grandma over on the other side and she was celebrating
her granddaughter and she was giving her flowers and I said she's celebrating you.
I said you've achieved something recently and she said I have.
And I said your grandmother's come through to say she knows that she acknowledges that
you're getting goosebumps.
I'm getting goosebumps right now.
We had a mother come through.
It was a beautiful evening and so and a lot of healing.
And so that's what psychic evidential mediumship is.
It's very very evidenced.
It's very clear who's coming through.
It's liberating because you really look come out of an experience like last night and what
we're doing next week but where you realize that our loved ones they don't die they're
not dead.
That is such a reassuring message.
It's huge.
Because to circle back to the role of religion that when I left my religion that was one
of the hardest things for me is that I left the idea of heaven.
And I left the idea that my loved ones were guardian angels looking out for me.
And it was just it felt so I felt so alone.
Yeah.
All of a sudden.
Yeah.
You sort of disconnected from the continuum of life you know.
And I think what's really cool about psychic evidential mediumship too is that the people
that come through my sessions and when I do I'm just new to demonstrating so I still get
super nervous.
Because when I do a keynote talk or something for corporates I know what I'm saying.
I know about speak smarts.
I know about stress management.
You've got the book.
I've got the book.
I've got the podcast.
I know what I'm doing.
But when you're working with the spirit realm it's not up to you.
You know all you can do is move your mind in the way that you've been trained to do
and kind of hope for the best.
You know but they always come through.
But what I love about what they bring through is it's not just memory which evidences who
they are which they do do initially.
But they always bring through information that shows that they're still participating
in our lives now.
Like they're around us.
It's not like so my understanding of heaven has changed.
It's not this sort of out there summer lands place where the ancestors go which is really
far away from here.
It's not.
I think the spirit realm is actually interpenetrates our world and they are very aware of what's
going on because they're participating in our thoughts.
I had a beautiful client yesterday, gorgeous client and it was a busy session.
She had a lot of loved ones in spirit so an ex-boyfriend came through, her uncle came
through and then her grandfather came through and then her grandmother came through because
they were together.
And her question to her grandmother after we knew who it was was I'm worried about,
no, well she worried about her kids.
It was something to do with her own children now.
And I didn't know this woman had children.
Her grandmother showed me she had two boys, a little girl and another little boy.
She showed me, she told me like the characters of each of them.
She told me the sensitivities of each of them and she reaffirmed her granddaughter that
she's doing an awesome job.
So the combination of that information that only her grandmother knew, I couldn't possibly
know that, the correct calling on the genders of the children, the ages of the children,
the sequencing of the children and what they're going through now, combined with an affirmation,
that woman walked out of there back in the saddle, I'm a good mom, I know what I'm doing.
So it's really healing.
Yeah.
And that was one of my main questions for you was how do you work with women to self-heal?
Because I think spirituality is often the bridge between some of the kind of problems
of our modern life and the ability to move on and move forward.
Yep.
Well, again, it's very, very varied.
So in terms of my offering, there's a combination of energy healing and Reiki is the modality
that I love.
And I usually combine that with some coaching and then what I call some spirit homework.
I love it.
But I also do work with, I collaborate with a number of psychotherapists and psychologists
as well, because there's lots of different ways we can heal.
And where the energy healing can kind of cut some slack.
So if a woman comes in, she's got a highly dysregulated nervous system, and maybe symptoms
of anxiety, which she hasn't felt since her 20s have re-emerged, let's say, okay.
The Reiki is very good at calming all of that down, but not forever.
She needs to start to address what's underneath that, which is creating her body's requirement
to message more strongly.
And so that's one of the biggest things that I start with, with women, men, anyone who
come to see me is that actually there's nothing wrong here.
Nothing's broken.
Nothing's wrong.
You're getting very strong messaging from your system that there are things that maybe
you haven't looked at, you haven't addressed, and now it's time.
And that's healing in itself.
And then there's a whole raft of different things that we can go to.
Sorry, Jasmine.
I know, I was going to say, so for people who aren't really aware of what Reiki is,
can you just sort of break it down and explain what it is and what it can do for you?
Yeah, okay, thank you.
Yes.
So you assume so much when you do.
So Reiki is a Japanese energy healing modality.
It was formulated by a master, Sui, around the 1900s, which is a relatively recent sort
of formulation of the modality that comes from particularly Asia.
But it's based in much older Taoist energy principles.
So there is a lineage to it.
But the form of Reiki that Reiki practitioners use today is a relatively recent formulation.
Reiki is two words.
Re means universal and gi means energy.
So principally what Reiki is, is a pure form of universal life force.
It doesn't come from the Reiki practitioner, it comes through them.
So a large part of your training and attunement as a Reiki practitioner is to get yourself
out of the way.
We have to practice non-attachment.
And this is paradox, but as soon as you're not attached to a result, you see amazing
results, but you have to be non-attached.
That's true of life though, isn't it?
And then you need to develop the art of perceiving and building and directing energy, which you
can learn.
And it's explained as an osmotic force.
And we know that vital life force is intelligent.
I mean, we've made babies and we've held the space, which is kind of what a Reiki practitioner
does.
They hold the space and the combination of life force and that incredible programming
of our DNA will make a human being.
And Reiki is similar in that it's an osmotic force.
So even though we are moving the energy through a set of hand positions across the energy
body of the client, they'll be lying on a bed.
And there are some other healing techniques with Reiki where they can be seated and so
on, but principally they're lying on a bed.
And I make it really nice.
I've got music, I've got the full stand.
Danny's bad ears, you know, top notch.
Exactly, because they come in really fried from life, right?
And I want them just to go, okay, in this session, it's just for you, I say that.
And you've got to help them disconnect from, right, I've got to pick up the bananas on
the way home and I haven't done my tax return.
You've got to help them disconnect from that.
But I want them to be fully receptive to what's possible in the session.
So I make it really juicy and lovely.
But very often they will have an experience where I may be touch, I like to touch, I ask
permission to touch, but not you don't have to touch with Reiki.
You can hover close.
I like to touch because it helps me with the psychic read as well.
And I think people need touch.
I touch a lot of people and I can feel their body going, oh, that like, you know, often
their spirit homework will be massage every week.
Oh, I love that one.
I want that to work.
You need to ground, you know, you need to ground your system.
You need touch, you know.
Anyway, but they'll have the experience where I might be touching their head.
They will have a very palpable experience of hands touching their stomach.
Wow.
Interesting.
Now, I do work with a team, if you like, but I don't think it's that.
I think it's them perceiving where the intelligence of Reiki is flowing to where the area is that
needs the healing.
Yeah.
It's cool.
So it's like a signal, like you might be touching the head, but if they feel it in their stomach,
there's a blockage or something like that in that area.
And there are a lot of correspondent meanings to the different centers in the body, which
is part of the training.
So if it's the stomach, for example, we know that the chakra around the stomach is responsible
for self-confidence, putting your volition into action.
If you're dissipating life force to a situation or to a person because you're buying into
something which isn't aligned with you, it's all around your personal power, basically.
Or if you're procrastinating on something and you're not putting something into action,
it'll go there.
So there are correspondent meanings and also organs and micro systems within the body to
each of the energy centers.
So a good energy practitioner will know those correspondences, and that's where the coaching
comes in.
But the Reiki will shoot straight to where it's needed.
I have undergone Reiki treatment exactly one time.
I was 24 years old.
I didn't tell the practitioner why I was there.
But the reason I was there is because my menses had disappeared.
I just lost my period for eight months, seven months.
None of the doctors could tell me what it was.
I wasn't a menoretic from weight or sport.
I was going to ask, was it sport?
Not sport related.
This is 22.
So I was like 22 to 24.
So I was later in life.
This wasn't like when I was a kid.
And I didn't tell the practitioner why I went in there.
But that was really why I went in there.
It was like, is something wrong with me?
Is something blocked that's not allowing this to happen?
And exactly what you're describing, she was touching my head and I felt like a clearing
in my womb.
And I know that sounds potentially ridiculous.
But I felt it.
And I knew the day after that session, I was going to get my period.
I knew it.
I knew that whatever she had done somehow by touching my head had cleared what was wrong.
And we didn't, she didn't really speak to me.
You know, it wasn't like a conversational session.
It was just the energy healing.
And then I went on my merry way.
And the next day I had my period.
And I've never ever had a dysregulated menstrual cycle since that time.
And it's the one experience I have with Reiki.
And obviously it's very instrumental for me.
So that's why it's such a good one.
But isn't that when you describe what happened there, I said, that's exactly my experience
with Reiki.
It's almost uncanny.
Yeah, it is.
And it's, it's very cool.
And I like to do a little bit of coaching afterwards, but it's not necessary.
Yeah.
And maybe I couldn't afford it at the time.
It was like a Groupon Reiki session.
Yeah, but I think, yeah, honestly, honestly, it was, you know, I've had spontaneous bleeds
on the bed, you know, as well.
Yes, I could see that.
There's, you know, the correspondences to the sacral, they're, you know, a very deep
and very beautiful, but we women particularly hold shame there.
There's all sorts of stuff there.
And, and a good psychic practitioner will be able to pick that up, which can be useful
if there's a bit of denial or a blind spot around it or a bit of fear of going there,
because even just the psychic perception of the, of the issue being told back to you is
enough to disrupt your pattern.
Yeah.
And that's good because that gets things moving, right.
But yeah, the energy will go there and also, but if you think about it, like, we are an
expression of vital life force, you know, we are an organisation of information and
energy.
That's what we are.
And that's what keeps all our little cells going.
And within that programming of being human is the program to be well and evolve.
And so if there's a distortion in that program, either, and that distortion can come from
lots of different things.
It can be environmental, like we might be just eating crap, you know, or we might be
drinking too much or we might have habits.
It can be fear.
It can be a belief system that we're buying into, which creates a distortion in that organisation
of information.
And it will eventually, it will, the system will signal loudly, loudly and more and more
loudly to you to take a look at it.
It's trying to get your awareness.
So through a Reiki practitioner, but other energy modalities as well, if you put a wave
of that intelligent, pure, vital life force through a system, it will knock out the distortion
and that's what's happening really.
Yeah.
So fascinating.
It's cool.
I think it's interesting because I think, you know, people look at it from, it's like
either a spiritual element or it's a scientific thing.
But I think there was a, well, there was almost like a scientific proof that when someone
dies, their body is like a slightly bit lighter.
It's almost like they're saying that your soul or, you know, the energy is leaving the
body.
Yeah.
I wish I can remember that statistic now.
Yeah, I can't remember.
That's measurable.
We'll put it in the show notes.
Yeah, we'll put it in the show notes.
Yeah.
But I'm really fascinated by the stories and recounting of near death experiences.
Oh yeah.
So this is where someone dies on the operating table, but then they're revived.
But they have a very conscious, lucid experience when they're clinically dead and brain dead
and they bring that back.
And that attests to what you just said, Jasmine, that our consciousness does move from the
physical matter, you know, and so I guess you could say it's our pattern or organisation
of consciousness removes itself from the matter and just keeps on its merry way, you know.
And that's what I'm talking to in a mediumship demonstration.
Exactly.
It's so weird that you mention that because it's just reminded me, when my dad was younger,
he said he was, I don't know, was it like a go-kart or something?
He was on some kind of karts, car-y kind of thing and he had an accident.
And during that accident, he was told that he did die for, you know, a short period of
time and he said he was walking through these fields.
It was like the most beautiful field he's ever seen.
And he hears a voice saying, not now or it's not the right time.
And then he wakes up in the hospital.
And I mean, just telling the story now is giving me goosebumps.
I've completely forgotten about it until you just brought it up now.
Yeah, it's amazing.
It's very common that where there's some kind of agreement that you made that, yeah,
and I'll be like, no, I want to stay in the summer landscape.
But then some people go back, you know, and very often they radically change their life.
Yeah.
You know, they get another shot sort of thing.
But I mean, we've gone on a wild tangent to how I help women in their 40s.
Yeah, I would bring us back because we do have to wrap up.
I know we could be in here for hours.
We really could get some strong coffee in here.
We could be here for two days.
But exactly that, Danny, I would love to know what is your 40s formula?
So if you could kind of take everything that you do, which is so much and kind of filter
it down to what is the most important component for women in this decade to take away from
your work.
Yeah, yeah, I know.
When you sent me that question, I was like, man, that's quite hard to just say.
For someone like you, it has to be.
So I guess what I can really talk to is my own personal experience in my 40s all that
time ago.
The first one is, I think, is to really intentionally detach from the requirement for external validation.
You know, and I think for many of us, not everyone, but for most of us in our 20s and
our 30s, we're running a story of where we think we should be, you know, timelines.
We're exposed to a lot of shoulds.
What you should look like, how productive you should be, how perfect your children should
be, you know, how put together you should be.
And I do think you get to the 40s where you've been around the block enough where you realise
how unrealistic all of that is, first of all.
But also, you want a sense of liberation from being under the thumb of any other kind of
perspective or story.
So I think intentionally detaching, and the way that you do that is to look at your reactive
responses to different events, different people, different conversations that you have, how
you respond to different content, and get super intentional about that.
What are you allowing into your life and into your mind?
And it's okay to say no.
And it's okay to create a bit of space between yourself and people who you're not vibing
with or who are extracting energy from you.
It's okay.
So backing yourself, getting really intentional.
And then I would say, I see the 40s, it certainly was for me, even though I was obviously still
mothering and you're always mothering.
But as a bit of a transition too from, if I talk in archetypes, right, from sort of
warrior mother type archetype into queen crone type archetypes.
So I see the 40s as the start where we really leverage our wisdom and we really leverage
our awareness.
And so for me, that has turned into a journey of fully exploring that.
And with great glee and joy.
And that has become my offering now, is the sharing of ideas and wisdom to help liberate
people and for them to live fully in the full spectrum, the full pole of what they're born
with, which is mind, energy, their beautiful body and all of its one and their spirit and
all of it is one system.
Does that answer the question?
It answers it beautifully.
And when you said queen crone, I was thinking like Beyonce with flowing gray hair.
Yes, yes, yes.
That is my future.
Well, thank you so, so much for being here, Danny.
This is again, this conversation has been so given us so much to think about.
I've been close to tears twice.
So thanks for that.
I've got goosebumps.
So we really appreciate you taking the time to be here and hope to have you back on a
future season.
Thank you, ladies.
Thank you for asking me, even though I'm not in my 40s.
I really enjoyed the chat and I'm loving what you're doing with the podcast.
So keep going.
Keep going.
Thank you.
This is Paul, our editor.
He's a 25 year old unmarried Singaporean guy listening to the ramblings of 12 older women
on everything from menopause to weightlifting to sex.
So Paul, what's your thoughts on today's conversation?
Hey, what's up?
Paul here.
So for this topic of spirituality and intuition, yeah, I really like, you know, Danny, when
you're going through early stages in life and I guess trying to find a quest for meaning
and dabbling.
So, you know, I thought I'd just share a bit about myself.
I'm a Protestant Christian and I guess I was trying to find meaning in life in my late
teens and through my years of struggling.
And for my case, my answer was true finding assurance that I guess I'm saving Jesus Christ.
So it's a lot like a different approach and background from you, Danny.
But you know, as such is with like spirituality, it's something that's really individualistic
that only you yourself can go through like, you know, your own personal experiences and
share them, I guess.
Also, I really liked your quote when you, you know, at the end when you talked about
like intentionally detaching yourself from requirements for external validation from
other people.
So sort of like we're running a story where, you know, we're always like trying to figure
out what should we do, like should we do this?
Should we do that?
You know, how productive we should be.
And these are like very unrealistic expectations.
And I agree, like it gives you like sort of like a sense of liberation from being under
the time from other people's like stereotypical perspective of who you are, I guess.
So yeah, you know, pretty cool.
Be who you are.
Catch you next time.
See ya.
Guys, you know how much we love coffee.
And if you want to share some love, you know, you can get us one.
Just visit buymeacoffee.com slash the forties formula.
Cheers.
Got a great review from user 1249039784 on episode five with Dr. Cheryl.
Just listen to the one about burnout.
I really think everything she talks about also applies to men.
Really interesting.
So far, loving all the podcasts and have shared with many friends.
Thanks for sharing our episodes.
And definitely this is not just for women.
Men can take in exactly what we're saying and apply it to their life too.
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Bye.
Amazing.
Thank you so much.
I'm so glad you brought up Krone by the way.
Just, I mean, I know because your podcast is the modern Krone and we'll put the byline
in the, in the show notes and everything, but I just feel like that word needs to come
back.
Yeah.
I think it's really well.
It went through a big degradation with the inquisition and the burning times.
So the word Krone, it's the entomology is the crowning.
That's where it comes from.
Kronos.
And, but it was rebranded as the crazy insane woman who's hormones are out of control and,
you know, and, and ugliness.
Yes.
And it's not, it's actually when women peak.
Yeah.
Wow.
You know, and we know that we feel that, right?
Yeah.
So I, yeah, we'll, we can do something on Krone.
Yeah, I would, exactly.
I would love that.
Yeah.
Cause Danny's podcast is the modern Krone.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
Thanks guys.
That was fun.