All right, are you happy or sad?
Which we're, oh, I guess, oh, you're happy, and you are?
Come on, bullets.
I guess I'm happy.
Oh, I'm always happy, bitch.
I am, but Rope Medusa, this is Top Shelf Hi-Jinks,
and we clean clinking, bitches.
Good day, Bestie.
Good day.
What's been going on, Miss?
I'm recovering from strep throat.
Who gets strep throat on a fuck in the fucking summer?
Let's start there.
An agornian.
I guess.
I don't know.
Raven number 912, why I would never move to Oregon.
Well, you know, when you work in retail, I guess,
you're just exposed to all those little snot-nose mofos.
You know?
Mofos, mofos, mofos.
Mofos and mofos for mofos.
Like, geez, I don't know.
But these kids call out sick, like, are you really sick?
I have a sick day, so yes I am.
These kids don't even, they haven't even accrued their sick
time.
They haven't even been there.
And I tell them specifically in orientation,
check it out, life happens.
You can call in sick, but you will be unpaid.
You do not get your freaking sick time
until 90 freaking days of employment.
So do they come back?
And what do they do?
They call in sick on their first fucking shift.
Sounds about right.
Yeah.
What can you do?
Everybody, you know what?
I call it they have the sun sick here in Oregon.
When the sun comes out, they're just like, oh, shoot, I'm sick.
I've got to go to the hospital.
Because we only get sun for two months out of the year.
That's so crazy.
It's like that.
It's not fucking Seattle, but damn.
I know.
And these poor, poor Argonians.
And I really do have to stop and think about it.
And I was like, I just moved here.
No, I didn't.
No, you didn't.
No, it's like it's been like a fucking decade.
Yeah.
I know.
OK, I know I've asked you this before, and I don't remember.
But I know, obviously, you lived in Pomona before.
That's where you were born and raised.
What made you like, how did you know it was time to move to,
of all places, Oregon?
Did you just like pick Oregon on the fucking map?
Like you spun it around?
Girl, I put all 50 states in a hat.
OK, that's what I was going to say.
And then you just picked Oregon it is.
And then I looked at my bank account,
and I realized, how was I going to get there with all my shit?
And I was like, I'm just going to go north.
And I didn't want to go to Washington.
I don't know.
And then I just found this spot, because I
was just looking to see where I could actually live,
where I could work, transferring, doing all kinds of stuff.
And so I landed a job in Oregon.
And it was for an underwriter position at Oregon State
Credit Union.
And I was just like, OK, that's promising.
And then I found a little spot in a place called, you know,
whatever, I'm here.
And I was just like, fuck yeah.
I'll just, I didn't do any other research.
And I kind of wish I did.
Oh wait, so you only applied for jobs in that area,
or you played for jobs all over Oregon?
Or yeah, no, I applied for jobs just all over the map
of the United States of America.
I'm like, I'm ready.
Are you ready?
But I did take out the states where there's like,
tornadoes and hurricanes.
I was like, yeah, I don't know about all that.
And I really didn't want to go to Florida.
I'm done with the coast, like the East Coast, West Coast.
I'm done because it's pricey.
It's pricey.
And I was just like, you know, let me just pick up my kids
and, you know, just venture off.
I didn't think I'd be here for this long.
No, I'm stuck.
Just for a little bit longer.
For now.
For years.
I was going to say if anybody would be able to adjust quickly,
if you were to get up and leave now,
it would be your son, not your daughter.
So.
Oh yeah.
My son's ready.
And I was just like, dude.
We should get up and leave now then.
No?
I was like, let's just go.
Well, because my next destination,
I'm like destination quiet.
I want to just like retire there.
I just, I'm done.
And I want my son to kind of have a little more options
with his fleeing the next flight.
No.
Yeah, I got you.
OK, that makes sense.
Well, that's not too far away then.
Yeah, I know.
Four, T minus four years.
Yeah.
But I don't know.
I think to myself, like maybe I would like, do I,
I love barbecue.
Do I want to go to Texas?
I like guns.
I like barbecue.
I like heat.
Unlike Oregon, I just don't understand how coming from SoCal
and being an islander and all that, just 100 degrees heat,
that's not uncommon.
That's just, you know, something of the norm.
I mean, it is a high, I guess.
But you're used to that, right?
Yeah.
100 degrees.
Yeah.
Over here, they're just like, oh, my God,
they just make it so insane on the news.
They're just, and I hate the news.
Yeah, well, the news will just blow anything up, especially
now with social media.
So anything for a view.
Everybody's dying.
Hydration, all about hydration.
Yeah.
Everyone is just fucking dying.
But I get it, because you inevitably
become a product to your environment, right?
If you were born in Alaska, and you're an Eskimo, or whatever,
and you dealt with those cold-ass temperatures,
and then you come to SoCal, Per se, or anywhere hot, Arizona,
whatever, yeah, you're going to die.
It's going to take you a while to get accustomed to that,
I guess.
It took me, well, fuck, it took me 10 fucking years,
and I'm still not accustomed to this goddamn rain.
Shit.
And I was just like, oh, my God, what happened to my beautiful
all of the skin?
Right?
Now it's all fucking pasty.
Yeah, just call me powder.
Like, yeah.
Oh, great.
Yeah.
Did you do anything for the fourth?
No, I did not.
What about you?
Well, I had to work, so that was fun.
Oh, was it fucking crazy?
Yeah, because we were having these mad sales.
And I guess, yes, we sell the barbecues and the propane
and all that, so it was pretty busy.
But I'm not on the floor.
But still, I had to work a full day.
And then by the time I got home, I was, I don't know.
Well, I grilled some ribs.
That was how they turned out.
They were edible.
Oh, shit.
Well, they were edible.
They were very edible.
I was actually surprised.
I did put a little too much salt or rub or whatever.
I was like, yeah.
Who cares about the salt?
You'll piss that out.
Yeah, I was like, I'm going to put some salt.
I'm going to put some paprika.
I'm going to put some garlic salt.
And I just kept putting salt.
Garlic salt.
Did you do pork or beef ribs?
I did beef.
OK.
And the only reason why was because I got one of those food
saver machines.
You know, you put food in a bag and it sucks out all the air.
Oh, the vacuum cleaner.
Yeah.
Still learning how to do that.
But it kind of, I pretty much, yeah, figured it out.
But I opened up my freezer in the garage
and I saw that two of the bags of ribs got air in it.
Oh, ew.
Yeah.
And I was like, crash.
I was like, I either got to cook these motherfos or just,
like, I don't know.
But I was like, this is going to be awesome.
I'm going to barbecue some ribs.
And yeah, I don't know.
But it came out edible.
I did corn.
And I did some mashed potatoes and some ribs.
And my son's like, yeah, I don't know.
But we went.
So there's this huge three day extravaganza in my little town.
And I'm so glad that I had to work.
But anyhow, they just pop off these massive fireworks.
And going on to my porch or in my backyard,
I can see these fireworks just everywhere from the riverfront.
OK.
And I went to the front of my house, me and my son.
And I'm trying to record just a little bit.
Did you see that video?
Yes.
Did you see what was on the side of it?
Yes.
Of course.
It was right there in my fucking face.
So not only did I get to enjoy watching fireworks from my porch,
I got to enjoy that 18 foot skeleton just still standing
there from my neighbor's house.
Yeah.
That means a baseball bat to it.
I'm telling you.
My gosh.
And so I decided to be the bitch that I am and have to go to sleep.
I'm just like, man, I've been popping off fireworks, all this stuff.
I got to go to bed.
I have to be.
I have to start my adulting again.
I have to go to work.
So not only did I work fourth of July, I worked the fifth of July,
I worked the sixth of July.
It's just insane.
So I asked all the little neighbors and stuff like, hey,
you guys need some help, like little bucket help.
End up talking to my neighbors.
I'm like, what do you think about this guy?
I'm trying to start a coalition, man.
I'm serious.
Like, what are we going to do?
Should we start a petition?
Like, what do we do?
Everybody's asking me, well, you guys don't have an HOA.
I was like, no, I know.
Exactly.
I deliberately said, you should be the fucking forerunner for that shit.
Can you imagine?
Yeah.
I'll be like, hey, hey, hey, check it out.
Everybody give me $200 a month.
I'm going to hold it down.
Right?
I'm going to hold it down.
I'm going to talk to the city officials.
I'm going to go to all the meetings.
You know, I'll make friends with the mayor.
I don't care.
Let's do this.
Like this, this needs to stop bringing down
the property values of our homes.
But they're in agreement with you, right?
Oh, fuck yeah.
Yeah.
And it's just insane because the neighbors, I'm like,
I don't think I ever formerly met you.
And I'm out there like I'm just like I'm running for fucking mayor or something.
I'm just like, what do you think about this guy?
What do you think about this clown over here?
Right?
Everybody is in the same boat.
They're like, fuck that shit.
So, hmm.
So now we all complained.
But what are we going to do?
That's the next step.
Oh, see, I guess you're going to have to proposition your neighbor.
Girl, you know what?
That's why Pomona bullets is here.
I came here for a reason.
You're welcome.
You're welcome town.
So when you're going to knock on his door and do the deed.
I will.
I'm not scared of nerdy G. Come on now.
So you're going to do that today then?
Or we're going to do.
Hell no.
You're going to ruin my only day off.
Well valid point.
Yeah, I'm hoping to just come home really angry from work.
And just be like, yeah, I want.
Hello.
I got to like print up some papers and act like, you know,
it's legit or something.
Or, you know, just connect with the sergeant.
The sergeant of the fucking town lives like three houses down for me.
So what the fuck?
But now, man, come on.
Can't like, let's let's.
They have an issue like you got to.
Oh, what's that?
You don't have an H.O.I.
I was going to say, get a citation issued from the city.
But I guess you can't if there's no H.O.I.
Nope.
But I tried to call the non-emergency line.
I think I said that a couple episodes ago and they just said, oh, yeah.
Well, he's going to be.
He's going to have plenty of time to clean up his mess on summer break.
And why is summer is his yard like really messy towards just those?
Yes. So I call the non-emergency line.
I'm just like, check it out.
I'm just I'm just asking.
I'm just inquiring, dude.
I don't go ahead.
No, she's all.
Oh, yeah.
He will have enough time to clean that up
because he'll be on summer break.
And I said, oh, wait a minute.
So you know who I'm talking about.
I just gave you my address.
So he must have had many complaints.
Oh, yeah. Well, you know, he's a teacher and he's on summer f and break.
So, yeah.
Well, issue him a citation.
I need to call.
Well, I don't know.
This is not my house.
I should do the same with the neighbor next door
because they just fucking let their shit.
And I told my mom, I'm like, we should get that cut.
And she's like, that's on their property.
I'm like, oh, a fucking course it is because my mom would have had that
shit cut down real fucking quick.
Girl, I was just waiting.
I was like, you know what?
Maybe I'll just have.
But the thing is, if I zone and say, hey, your 18 flat skeleton has
like its fucking big toe on my property line.
OK, what is he going to do?
Probably just scoot it over like two inches.
So it's not really going to do much.
Um.
Yeah. I don't know.
I'm plotting and planning, but I'm doing it.
Nicely, nicely giving them time.
You know, I really, really, really, really want to go over and just say,
check it out. Let's go on Neighborhood Wars.
I don't know. Have you?
I think you told me about this.
I don't know what you're talking about, but girl, it is a show.
It's on. Well, I have dish.
I don't know, but it's a show and it's called Neighborhood Wars.
And it's about get to know your neighbors.
And it's so funny. It's so funny, but I'm sure if we just
let's just get on Neighborhood Wars, bro.
Like seriously, let's get on TV.
Let's make this like let's make this.
Let's make it. I'm sure they pay you too.
But but this is the real shit.
Like it's just so insane.
I don't know. I don't know.
I don't know. He has chickens now.
What? In the backyard?
Yes. Well, because it's summertime, hopefully he has them house bright.
No, I do know I can look in my master bedroom window and I can see.
And I'm just like, dude, what the fudge the fuck you want?
How many does he have?
Four, because I think that's all you're allotted in
like a residential district.
So is it open or do you guys have coyotes there?
You guys do. And we do.
But we have fences that those wooden fences that kind of just
enclose our backyards and stuff.
So doesn't mean anything.
Coyotes scale coyotes used to scale my mom's
well, their cinder block.
What a wall. But yeah, they used to scale them back in the day.
They would get up on top and they would like walk back and forth
to find any pets that are just hanging out.
And don't you start it on the fucking bears
because the bears do the same fucking thing.
They will get up on that fucking cinder block wall and they'll walk it
and then they'll get in the backyard and go through the trash.
The black bears.
I guess so. I don't know.
Well, they're not really fucking bears.
I know that.
They have to be there.
I don't know.
Sometimes I just feel like just being like in the wild.
Remember that story in the well where that kid just went up there?
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm like, you know what?
I'm just going to get a win a big.
Oh, I just I'm just just hitting the turf.
Went to home school. My son.
Right.
Just hit the turf.
I don't know.
But anyways, that's like a really downer type of.
Yeah, I've been doing good stuff.
I honestly.
OK, so I have a very good friend
that is helping me with my garage
and my little shark lounge and stuff.
And so I'm doing this wine barrel
table. It's a table.
And I don't know.
I'll send you some of the links from like Etsy and stuff.
So these wine barrels,
they're they're these awesome like rustic wooden, of course,
wine barrels and you can open them up and you you make them a little like
shelves and you can put your alcohol and it has like a lazy Susan.
You put little lights in there and then you just it's freaking super cool.
And it would be super cool for the shark lounge, just saying.
And so I'm painting.
I'm going to plaster the top of the table.
So it's a wine barrel and it is a shelf
where you could put your bottles of alcohol.
But I'm doing the top before we put the glass on the top as a table.
And of course, what do I do?
I know chargers.
I showed you the little skit, right?
The little sketch.
Oh, yeah. OK.
So that's what that was.
I'm like, what the fuck is she talking about?
I'm fucking gay as bolts.
Damn.
Let me catch my breath.
Oh, whoa.
Her.
We got one.
We got another one.
They just punched us.
Yeah, well, I'm not so enthused about this coming up season,
but I'm still going to be faithful.
I don't want to be a bandwagon jumper.
And so I'm like, OK, I'll do the Chargers bolt.
And I'm trying to do that.
Did you see?
OK, from the sketch, from the top of the table to what I did on the paint,
when I started painting, I still have to do many more layers of paint.
But do you see any difference?
Like one of you.
No, I need to look at it again.
Hold on.
Oh, if you fucking if you fucking catch it, I swear to God,
I'm just going to go.
Just get friends.
Oh, that you painted over the markings.
No, there's a big ass difference.
But we don't really want to say this in front of the masses.
No, I don't know.
I see it's all nicely painted, but I don't see a difference.
Fucking amazing.
You are amazing.
You're just like that.
You know, your bestie is also blind, too, right?
So am I.
And it's been too hot where I can't even go.
I go into the garage after a long day of work and I'm like,
I'm just going to finish painting.
I'm all I can't breathe.
It's hot.
I'm sweating.
I hate it.
Never let someone see you sweat.
I live by that.
Like, I don't even want to see myself sweat.
I'm such a bougie little bitch.
So disclose.
What's the difference?
Or what did you paint over?
OK, look at the bottom.
Look at the bottom of the painting.
It's the painted one.
OK.
I'm looking at it.
It says 2018.
Am I looking at the bottom of the barrel?
No, of my artwork.
Not anything else on the barrel, just the bottom.
And then look at the sketch when I just sketched it really
quick with the pencil.
Look at the bottom of the sketch.
Oh, because it's all straight?
Yeah, I know.
And I was just like, is that what you mean?
Yeah.
I was like, why did I just fucking do that?
I just made like a fucking rainbow.
And it's so fixable, but still.
Yeah.
Oh, well, I mean, it looks OK to me.
I know.
It's going to look, I know you hate it,
but you would like to see the artwork.
Once it's done, you're going to be like, yes.
Come on, I'm going to do it.
So what type of paint are you using?
I'm using the Posca pens.
Oh, OK.
And then.
Yeah, and I'm using like the 7 millimeter.
Like, honestly, I had a bunch of those
for the firefighter hats and stuff like that.
I was going to do on the leather and stuff.
But yeah, I was just depleting the little pen.
So I ended up getting a bigger millimeter tip.
OK.
Yeah.
I'm going to do so much shit to that.
It's going to look freaking awesome.
OK.
So when you're done painting this,
you're going to put a final gloss coat over the entire table.
Yes.
Yep.
And then a piece of glass is going to go right on top.
So it's like a table.
OK.
Because I'm like, it looks OK.
Perfect.
Yeah.
It's just too goddamn hot.
And I'm just like, no.
Yeah.
I'm out there.
And so are you putting the bolts on the side of the barrels
too?
Are you?
No.
It's just the table, the barrel top.
The top.
Yeah.
Because if somebody does end up wanting to buy the whole barrel
because it's super fucking cool, you can open it up.
Oh, you're doing this?
You're doing this to sell?
Or you're doing that?
I thought that you're doing this for your shark lounge.
Yeah.
I am doing it for my shark lounge.
But in the event, I go into foreclosure and just get
Oh, Jesus fucking Christ.
I'm just kidding.
In the event I want to sell this shit,
somebody can just buffer that shit off and have a nice barrel
table.
Got it.
OK.
And stuff.
And it's still sellable.
Nobody wants to buy shit.
I would never buy a Raiders barrel.
Well, I know you wouldn't.
Oh my gosh.
This is territory where I can't even step in.
Like, I'm all set.
I have my tail between my legs.
Like, never mind.
I was just trying to share.
And you know what?
Now that we're talking about Raiders,
so my Raider Nation Twitter, apparently they're still
rocking like all the Raider when the Raiders play.
They still I guess the Coliseum wasn't torn down yet
because they're still hanging out and parking lot C.
And they're fucking tailgating.
And I'm like, god damn it.
I'm jealous.
What do you mean?
So they're tailgating.
They're still tailgating.
Like, they'll still show up and they still
tailgate there during the game, even though there's no game there.
Like, that's you raider fans.
You guys think you're above the law.
That is right.
We are the law.
We're pirates, bitch.
Come on.
Hello.
Yeah, you do it.
You're all getting your tents out of here.
We're tailgating.
Go to skid row.
Fuck man.
Oh, shit.
That's that's awesome.
Yeah.
Yeah, I don't know.
And just to say, I I'm so due for my vacation.
My son and I were you are headed out.
Yeah.
So we're going to have to do.
We're going to talk later.
We'll talk a day before or something.
Oh, no worries.
If not, then I guess the following week, too.
It doesn't matter.
OK.
Can I segue?
Or what are you?
Go ahead.
No, go ahead.
I just really, really, really.
This has been eating at me for a minute
because you'd like iced tea or unsweetened iced tea.
Yes.
Sweetened like.
Like.
I'm not a fan of.
Yeah, I guess.
Yeah, that.
Oh, God, I haven't heard that term in a while.
That's how old we are.
But I know.
No, girl, I'm telling you, Medusa, I'm just like son of a bitch.
I wake up every day and I'm just like a feeling a little bit more tired.
And when I'm just like, I don't know, like what's going on?
I'm just growing old.
But, suntie.
OK.
You like suntie?
Yeah.
Just OK.
OK.
So, so do I.
I like suntie.
Do you make suntie?
No, no, I just make like my green tea.
I brew it at night and then I drink it cold in the morning.
OK, perfect.
So you still put the bags of the green tea and brew it.
And yes.
OK, so you're doing all that.
OK, good.
Have you ever bought one of those like I'm pure leaf or those off the shelf type?
Pure leaf.
Oh, I bought the pure like the Lipton.
Is that the Lipton brand?
Well, not the Lipton.
Not that shit where you just add it to your water and just like this like tang or cool.
No, but pure leaf is from Lipton and that's like the natural.
Yeah, they say it's all natural and they brew it and blah, blah, blah.
Yeah.
It's like, have you ever had there?
I have.
If I travel, I buy their unsweetened one.
Me too.
Have you done any research on that because I was just told that that is the worst thing
you could possibly f and do.
And don't get me wrong.
I'm an orient, so I can't really make suntie too much.
You can't read that shit.
Like, I don't know, but I do brew tea and I will make my tea.
But yeah, there I just got told that I the purely for whatever off the shelves,
they're like that.
That is just so bad with everything that's in there.
Do you know what's in there?
Well, of course, it's like when I drink soda, it's fucking all chemicals.
But yeah, I mean, if I'm traveling, I can't fucking bring my fucking tea kettle with me.
Do you drink soda?
Yeah, I went.
Remember when I told you I was sober for like 90 days or whatever it was?
And then when I went sober during lockdown, I needed to drink something besides water
and juice.
So I went back on soda.
So diet, Dr. Pepper is my crack of choice.
Oh, my gosh.
Yeah, I fucking love that shit.
And I'll fuck I need one or two can.
It used to be one can a day, but now that it's fucking hot as fuck outside,
I need two cans a day.
Oh, my gosh, there's this is so much of this like hydration stations at work
and everything and we had for fourth of July, they had a bunch of fucking soda.
It was just soda cans and but it looked so good.
It was an ice and they were just these cans and I saw Dr.
Pepper.
I haven't had soda in probably over 10 years.
I have not drank soda, not even a sprite.
Nothing.
I don't drink soda.
I grabbed a motherfucking Dr.
Pepper and grabbed one.
You know, that's the.
I grabbed one.
It was.
Yeah, I grabbed one.
Girl, I was just thinking to myself, you know what?
I remember like that shit tastes so good with the jack.
Like it was a little.
Oh, you know what?
I when it comes to doctor, I remember growing up people or people.
My friends would drink Dr.
Pepper and I guess it was Jack, like you said, and I'm like, that was not my thing.
I don't know.
It just didn't taste right to me, but it's so it tastes right to you, I guess.
Yeah, because I was like Coke.
Like, nah, Coca Cola, like fuck you, Coca Cola and Jack.
I was like, you know, I like Dr. Pepper.
I was a Dr. Pepper fan.
I think we already discussed this, like, yes.
And I.
Yes.
And I love like the doc when they put that little cherry with the cherry doctor.
Oh, that.
Oh, I've never tried cherry Dr.
Pepper that marinates your meat.
So amazing.
Just to do that, too, I would put pork roast in the crock pot with diet.
Dr.
Pepper.
Yeah.
Or Dr. Pepper, somebody told me I'm like, I told you, girl.
I was OK.
I haven't done that in ages.
I need to do that.
I do.
You know, that is the best.
Yes.
Soda and all that and all that sugars.
You don't even have to season it.
You just bam.
Dr. Pepper, cherry Dr.
Pepper or cherry Coke, if you're a Coca Cola fan, but cherry Dr.
Pepper, yes, please, with your ribs.
Amazing.
It's so good if you just have the energy to do it because I don't.
I don't anymore.
Oh, my gosh.
Yeah.
So anyhow, sorry.
My hair is like sticking to my face already.
Is that hot up there today?
Yes.
Supposed to be.
Well, I look at my weather app and it's like, oh, OK, where you're
where you are from on a blizzards, only going to be like 101 or 90.
But warm up there.
Girls, everybody is over here and it's like 90 degrees and shit.
They look like they I swear they look like I don't know,
like stop riding your bike.
Stop like like put on some clothes.
Like, do you know how the sheiks do it and everybody?
Like in the Middle East, like, you know, they they don't burn
because they cover themselves like cover your fucking self.
I and there's so many trees here.
So I don't know what's going on, but their environment and I'm going
to sound very, very weirded out or just comments, please be easy on me.
But this is just weird.
I don't understand how people don't.
They don't.
They can't adapt to the heat.
I'm just like I'm the opposite.
I'm like, oh, my gosh, there's heat.
I can't wait to get home.
I take out my chair and I put banana bow all over me.
Banana bow.
I'm just banana bow.
I can I would like to look five pounds lighter because that's what
panning does.
And I also just need that vitamin whatever the fuck the sun has.
I am a sun baby.
I love the game.
I but yeah, I love it.
But I don't want to be out there all day.
Right.
And picking up cinder blocks and shit.
No.
But I love the heat.
I love the sun.
I love I love it.
Love it.
I want to be like, have you seen the sun?
Like, have you seen that movie?
There's something about Mary.
Of course I have.
Hello.
Remember Magda.
It was that the girl, her friend?
No, no, the old lady.
Yeah, yeah.
She just kept getting darker and darker and darker.
That I want to be.
I want to be mad.
Like, got it.
Okay.
I didn't remember her name, but I'm like, yeah, that's me when I used to
do the tanning beds all the time.
I was like, why do I need a tanning bed?
There's already these movie rates here.
Yeah.
But in Oregon, I only got two months to do it.
And yeah.
And, and honestly, have you been hitting the gym?
Oh, you, you do, right?
Yeah, I go to the gym.
Oh, fuck.
I need to be more disciplined, but I'm still going or I need to, I guess,
pick it up again.
I've been not slacking, but I've been doing it light or whatever.
Lightweight.
I mean, I was just like, not today.
Like I don't give a shit.
We can't be 44 fucking years old and you know what?
I'm fucking still, I think for our ages, we are hella hot.
Oh yeah.
I don't know.
Like why?
Why are you like, I don't know why people, I was watching.
Oh my gosh.
I fell asleep and I don't know, but my TV went to this TLC station.
And I woke up and I'm like, what the fuck am I watching?
But I wasn't even watching it.
I was actually asleep, but I had to find my remote to turn it off.
And it was, um, I don't know, like unexpected and these little kids,
these, they're just having babies, babies, having babies type of deal.
Okay.
And these, these women are like, yes, my son,
my son is 15 and he's, I'm going to be a grandma.
I'm 42, 42.
This bitch looks like fuck.
I'm just like, thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you that I can wake up at 2am to find the remote to turn off my TV.
And this bitch is 42 going to be a grandma.
I'm like, thank you.
I look so much like, I'm on fleek.
I'm on fleek.
I don't even have the fake eyelashes.
I don't have the bow tops.
Yeah.
I don't got my fucking lips.
Oh, like, yeah, like, no, I'm good.
Like my TNA is good.
And the funny thing is I hear a lot of people telling me now.
They're like, I just don't come from good, from good genes.
I just don't come from good genes.
I was like, you know, I think you and I are blessed that we have those Islander genes because I think a long way.
And I've said this before, if I was 100% Austrian, I'd be looking like I'm 69.
Girl, if I was 100% Caucasian shit.
Same, right?
Same.
Oh, no, man.
Just thank you, dad.
Thank you.
I'm just that.
Yeah.
I'm just no way, but everybody just there's a lot of creams and stuff you can use and SPFs and stuff.
So you guys still got it.
Just you have to work harder for it.
We were born with it.
It's just a little yes.
Hi, I don't know.
Girl, I was just looking.
Oh my gosh.
So I've been doing a lot of exercise and stuff like I will just 30 minutes.
30 minute like squats and doing and doing just a lot of things just to kind of for the, the bootay.
And I'm little by little.
I'm looking in the mirror and after I go and I'm like, thank God, because I don't want that.
Huh.
I said, there you go.
Girl, girl.
I was like, shit.
I guess still.
And yes, yes, and yes.
It's, it's not that great.
I mean, you know, I'm not like in my 20s, but you know, I'm looking good.
And I've been doing just a little bit and then I get out of the shower and I just kind of look at my butt.
I'm just like, mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
We're looking good.
It's good.
No, you need to fucking eat some protein.
Stop eating all that fucking carb bullshit.
I know.
I've been, you know what?
I've been doing a, um, well, I had a keto salad the other day.
Well, I'm not, well, you don't have to go keto, but stop eating anything that's with added sugar.
Oh, yeah, I know.
Yeah.
Well, that, that goes with alcohol.
And you know what?
The thing is, is like, I haven't even touched really alcohol and especially since it's so hot here and I've become a
and just like it's so hot, I need to hydrate.
So I haven't done too much, but yeah, so I'm like, I'm going to take a little gummy.
And have you done anything with yours?
Um, I actually had psychoactive mushrooms yesterday.
A chocolate, my hairstylist had two chocolate, not bars, but he gave me two squares and I had one.
And let me tell you this, I wish I was on that all the fucking time.
And that's probably why the government doesn't want people or it's not, I guess it's illegal.
It's cause people are actually able to get outside of their fucking head, de-stress and fucking go on with life.
I had the best fucking time for three hours and I'm like, shit, it already wore off.
Fact of stressing.
Girl, that's what I'm telling you.
When I take those little gummies, sometimes I'm like, okay, I'm not trying to, I'm trying to do this and I'll take a
gummy and it takes about 45 minutes.
And then I have to slowly because, you know, I drink and stuff.
So it's kind of like, I don't know, but I try not to mix and cross contaminate.
I guess that's what I call it.
I just want to make sure that I know what's going on.
And so when I take these gummies and I feel so excited, I'm like, why am I just vacuuming the stairs?
I'm putting on music, I'm dancing and I'm just like, oh my God, I look hot.
Let me put some makeup on while I do all this.
It's amazing.
These things, I'm like, hmm.
But you're taking on psychoactive though, right?
They're just, oh girl, I'm already psycho.
So I don't need psychoactive.
No, I need the psychoactive ones.
You know what? Sometimes I get so fucking stoned.
I'm just like, but the thing is, I can understand that, hey, if it's organic, don't panic.
You know, just, you know, you just got to know.
You just come up with that line all by yourself.
No, my grandfather told me that actually.
Yeah, yeah, my grandfather told me that, but I don't know.
But if it's organic, like you just don't panic, but you do have to panic because you have to, like, if you have a headache, you're not going to take like fucking 10 aspirins.
Right?
You know what else is organic?
You have to, because you could die, right?
You know what else is organic?
Mushrooms.
Opium.
Oh fuck yeah.
I know.
I know, don't go there.
But you got to be rich, you know what? You got to know peeps for that.
Like if you're going to give me the 2004 just an opium, thank you.
But like, I don't know who's running the fucking operation now and I don't want no fentanyl or my shit and like, I don't know.
I'm good.
I'm just going to work out and have a smoothie.
That's my own energy.
My coffee.
Because I don't trust these motherfuckers anymore.
I don't know who's running the operation anymore.
What's going on?
Like, everybody, no, I don't know.
And everybody's just dying, but yeah.
Yeah, no, I don't know.
I'm like, look at that shit.
You can't even crush it.
I don't know.
Looks gross.
No, thank you.
I'll just be organic and it's fucking insane that I had to go to the level where it's, I will smoke a joint or whatever.
And you, I get so lifted.
But the thing is, is like, I know in two to three hours.
Marijuana is legal there?
Fuck yeah, it is.
Okay, that's what I thought. I don't know. Like, I don't even know if all states are legal, have marijuana legalized.
I want to say no. That's why I was asking. I totally forgot.
Well, I know California is.
Oh yeah.
But I remember when I left there, they were like, you need a doctor's note.
And I was like, doctor, give me a note. I have cramps.
Oh, remember that phase where, yeah, they had to, I guess, medicinal or I guess medical marijuana or whatever.
Now there's fucking dispensaries everywhere.
A medical, or a card.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You guys don't need that no more.
I would say no, because they have dispensaries everywhere.
Well, I mean, I think everybody has a medical reason. They're depressed.
They're sad.
But you know what? When I worked for the city of Long Beach, when that's when they first legalized it back in 2016, I want to say 2015, 2016, because the, okay, so the city legalized, or I guess the state legalized it, right?
But federally, it's still not allowed or whatever.
Right.
So these fucking dispensaries would come in to pay their fucking taxes or whatever the fuck they had to pay to the city.
They had to pay that shit in cash.
Like they couldn't pay it, I guess how, and I'm just like, this is so fucking ridiculous.
And who's going to walk around with all this fucking cash walking into city hall to make a fucking payment?
Yeah, you know what I'm saying?
They're just waiting to fucking put the fuck on you.
Fuck man, that's a fucking sitting duck right there. And I'm like, I don't want to be nowhere near the fucking payment window any fucking time ever because that shit right there.
I don't care. I'm like, I'm not getting shot up.
Hey girl, I know. It's so crazy. I try so much and just like, no, I'm saying nothing, but yeah, that's some bullshit.
I'll tell you right now.
I don't know.
I'm just like that. And that's just the way I see it. I don't know. That's kind of bullshit.
It's kind of bullshit when you win the fucking lottery and you fucking pay taxes and then they tax you for putting it into your bank account as well.
So that's kind of bullshit.
Of course, that's income.
Right.
Now they just fucking tax tax and tax and like, fuck you California.
Fucking hate you.
Now that's across the board though, not just California.
Well, you know what?
I'm like a fucking witch with a big ass fucking brew. I'm like brewing. I'm like, bad.
Wings. Yes.
You know, lizards, snake tails. Let's do this. Like fuck this. Like you guys, you guys want to fucking follow me?
Like, but I'm going to look pretty and just like, okay.
All right, girl, I'm looking at the time. We better wrap this up.
Yes, it's hot.
Are you hot? I girl, I am in a, I don't even have a fucking bra on. I have a, I'm just like, oh my gosh, I thought we were good.
Yeah.
It's actually decent right now. Today it's going to be like 88 is the high they said. So probably about 93 witches in fact.
But it doesn't matter when you're like enclosed in a house.
Like, oh, no. Yeah, no, but I mean, like last week was already over one of one or two, one or three. So girl, I got in my car when I was driving home the other day from work.
And it said 112 and I was like, wow, for Oregon. That's fucking crazy.
Well, I'm just assuming it was like my car because I didn't have it was just like all heated up. But anyways, yeah, let's just end this so everybody can just go to a river, go to a pool.
Just whatever. Yeah, let's just do this.
Okay, well, you have any parting words? I just, I'm sorry that I had strep throw and I couldn't talk, but you know, hey, no worries.
It's all good. I just hope everybody stays safe and hydrated.
And yeah, you guys have a great, great time until you see us again or hear us again.
There you go. All right, and I wish everybody a good week too. So we are out. Peace. Peace.