for grand pa on my lap at all times.
That's right, babe.
Some of them that were forces are the same, the big crisis.
Killing in the name of.
Good afternoon, Bestie.
Good afternoon.
Happy St. Paddy's Day.
Well, I guess I'm not drinking, are you?
No. Oh, coconut water.
Well, I'm drinking water.
We've gotten really boring and old lately, huh?
I'm telling you, I honestly, I had a tough week and it was always that go-to.
It's like, you just have it in your head where I need to go home and just pour me a stiff one.
But yeah, it's hard.
It's hard.
Right?
To retrain yourself.
Teaching an old dog new tricks.
I'm like, you know what?
I'm going to drink a whole liter of coconut water when I get home.
A liter of cola.
Shit.
So for the listeners that don't know, I don't know, I just haven't been in the mood to drink
and it'll be 28 days tomorrow.
And I guess the good news is that my city of Long Beach, the people that I'm going to,
I was supposed to hang out with them or meet up on the last Saturday in March.
That got rescheduled to whenever I guess everybody's able to meet up.
So that means my sobriety streak can continue.
Until I feel like otherwise, but tomorrow will be day 28.
Yeah.
Shit.
I ain't even know I'm going on months.
Well, good for you girl.
I don't know.
We got to rethink our name now.
Clink, clink gang.
I know we said, I think we said think, think.
Think, think, or blink, blink.
I don't know.
We've got to come up with a new name.
Yeah.
Some boring bitches double B.
Shit.
I know.
Where do we that?
Just, you know, right.
Don't think anything.
Just give me a Benadryl.
Yeah.
So speaking of Benadryl, I guess I'll go first.
So remember how I had my eyes have been an issue for the last four, five weeks now,
whatever the fuck.
Yeah.
Including the dermatologist.
It dawned on me this past week, Pomona Bullets.
My coworker, when I used to work in a Zouza as of last year, they're like,
you need to start using flow nays.
Have you ever used flow nays, the stuff that you squirt into your nose?
Yes.
Okay.
Well, I started using that about four weeks ago and that's when I do the math.
And I'm like, oh yeah, maybe I should just be netty potting instead of flow nasing.
And I would have never had the eye issue.
You know what?
That's interesting that you say that because
oh, common sense isn't so common.
And I fall into that category once in a while.
And I didn't realize ears, nose, throat, your eyes.
It's all connected.
Yes.
So I don't know if I got an infection or obviously when I did the math, I'm like,
clearly I was not supposed to use flow nays.
The only thing that should be going up my nose is fucking the netty pot, the salt or whatever.
Yeah, the saline.
So I've done that two Sundays in a row and I'm back to normal back to normal.
Back to normal.
And I'm just like, God damn it.
Why is it such a pain in the ass to netty pot?
It is.
But it works.
It's it's hard the first time you try it.
Right.
Because it feels so weird.
And when I haven't done it in like a year, almost a year when I start back up and I'm
like, oh, I feel so much relief.
But then I was just the whole cleaning process to clean the goddamn thing is so fucking annoying.
Right.
Just like folding laundry.
I can do laundry all day long, but do I like to fold it?
Hell no.
We would make a great team.
You can do the laundry and I will fold.
I'll fold all day.
Oh, you like to fold?
Yeah.
Okay.
You're the only person that I've ever known in existence of eternity.
However you want to say it, whatever that likes to fold.
I don't know if anybody who likes to fold laundry now except you.
Yes.
I like it.
Well, not not.
Okay.
Let me take that back.
It's not that I like it, but I prefer to do it because my OCD and I just need it done.
Oh.
The way and I just think if it's the way people fold their pants, I get a kick out of that.
When I see the way people fold their pants.
I don't know.
Do you fold your pants or do you hang them up like fold them in half and hang them on a hanger?
Do you?
I have pant hangers, I guess.
So like they have the clips on it.
So they actually look like they're standing up.
Does that make sense?
Oh, gotcha.
Yeah.
Like the ones that they have in the department stores.
Okay.
Most of my shit is athleisure.
So that shit gets folded and thrown into the drawer.
Yeah.
I saw somebody fold their pants one day and it was just, do you work at coals or?
I was all professional.
Yeah.
I was like, you fold your pants like that.
I fold my pants a certain way that works for me.
Right.
Because I don't like it, especially when it comes to jeans.
I don't have too many pairs of jeans.
But the jeans that I do have, I hate when the cuff flips up.
That little lip on the cuff.
Oh, yes.
Yeah.
I hate that.
So the way I have to fold my jeans, I make sure that little part is down and I fold it so it stays down.
Right.
So stay down.
I hate that.
Because it just naturally flips up or folds up.
It's so annoying.
So yeah.
But thank goodness we're not wearing those.
Did you ever wear bell bottoms?
I know they came back as a fad.
I had a couple of pairs, well not bell bottoms, but the yoga pants with the bell bottom on the bottom, I guess.
Yeah.
But not legit bell bottoms, but I guess the workout ones.
Back in the late 90s, I guess.
I don't know.
Yeah.
Somewhere around there.
I'm sure they'll make another comeback here in the next couple of years.
I know, you just keep recycling through fads.
Right.
I'm like, what?
Clogs are back in again?
Fuck.
Well, thank you Crocs, I guess.
Otherwise, that would never be around.
I'm assuming.
I don't know.
I could be wrong.
And if they die out, they come back.
Doesn't matter.
Just like Birkenstocks.
And speaking of laundry pomemonable, so did you know that a two-in-one washer and dryer actually exists?
Yes, because I work at Lowe's.
I know.
Okay.
Well, you know what?
For some reason, it showed up on my Instagram feed and I'm like, what the fuck?
I'm like, I have never heard of that.
So I click on the fucking Instagram link and it takes me to fucking Lowe's.
GE has a one or a one and done thing where it's all in one and it has an average rating of five fucking stars over 3500 reviews.
And I'm like, wow, I just that's so fucking amazing.
But then half of the clothes that I wash, I don't put in the dryer.
So I don't know how that would work.
Yeah.
Well, you just don't put the dryer setting.
I guess.
But I don't know.
I just thought that was so cool.
I, when that launched and we were doing it, it was like a power product.
That's what they call it.
This is what we're going to sell.
This is what we're pushing.
This is what we're going to advertise.
And I thought to myself, that's so weird.
Something's going to happen.
And what if the washer part of it goes out, then you just have a dryer and yeah, I was just going to say the repair would be weird.
Right.
I would think so.
But then I was told, well, look at if you have a dishwasher, it washes and it drives your dishes.
But it's like, that's different.
I didn't even think about that.
You're right.
Yeah, but it's not fabric.
It's so right.
I don't know.
I'm just like, I'm not sold on it yet.
I don't know.
It was on sale for $2,300.
And I'm like, that's like the average price of a washer and a dryer put together.
So I thought it would be more.
So I don't know why it showed up on my Instagram feed, but it did.
And I was just like, I don't know.
I was blown away by that.
Yeah.
It's simple things.
It's the little things in life.
But I really want to try one.
But I'm just like, with my luck, it's going to go all bad.
And then I'm just going to go back to the clothes line outside.
Right.
Washing with a, in a crease.
And now I can't wash because the dryer doesn't work.
So now I'm screwed out of both.
That's my thinking.
If it breaks, like you can't use the other one because it's all in one.
Right.
Hey, I would love if, and if I met anybody who actually bought one of those, I would like to
pick their brain.
Yeah.
I would be the same.
And just see how, how is that going to go?
How does that work?
I don't know.
But yeah, it's crazy.
Dude, you don't play the lotto, do you?
I haven't played the lotto lately and I drove by 7-Eleven yesterday and one of them is like
at 800 million.
The other ones are like at seven and some change, I want to say, or maybe six and some change.
I'm like, fuck, I need to play.
And I just didn't make it back down to 7-Eleven.
Because I didn't have professional on me.
So did you play?
I don't typically play.
But yesterday I decided, well, why not?
Because the same, I was getting gas.
I saw that it, the, there was a drawing tonight.
I think it was the Powerball and some other organ megabucks or something like that.
So I go inside and I buy some quick picks and oh my goodness.
So the gal that's selling me the quick picks, she's like, do you want to do a power up and this and that?
And she's just throwing all these other fucking things at me.
I was like, no, bitch, no, I just need a quick fix.
And I'm honestly, I already, I probably even shouldn't buy them because I was already feeling like I ain't going to win.
So that's going to be a waste of $20 or whatever.
But I still bought them.
I'm just like, I don't know.
I don't even know how to play this shit.
So you can pick power ups and this and that.
And I don't know about all that.
I don't know.
That must be the state lottery or the organ because I don't know what the power up is.
Yeah, I have no idea.
I have your numbers.
I did.
Did you win anything?
Or did you at least win your money back?
No, boo.
I know.
And that's why I'm going to stick to scratch.
The scratchers.
Yeah.
I haven't even played scratchers lately either.
And I want to, I just like the scratchers.
Gives me a thrill.
Yeah.
Yeah, exactly.
It's like, I don't know who's picking these numbers.
The power or quick picks.
Right.
This is a random, who knows?
I don't know.
But yeah, scratchers.
I've never had luck on the quick picks.
No, never.
I never.
And but then again, I never really stuck in the game to play like, oh, I'm going to.
Religious.
Yeah.
Just scratchers.
Yes, I've had luck with scratchers, which is the same.
But it's fucking fun.
Yeah.
It's fun.
Except those crossword fucking scratchers.
Oh, gosh.
And the poker ones or whatever.
I hate that.
Shit.
Just like did it.
Just give me the one where I can match three items in a row or whatever.
Yeah.
You're like, Picky Bank, Picky Bank,
carries dang it.
Right.
You lose.
Yeah.
Where's all bingo?
I hate those.
Fuck it.
Just I don't know.
Those ones.
But I guess if you're bored and just maybe I might win some money.
Let me get my penny.
Scratch it.
So, um, is the weather better now up there?
Because spring is like next week or this coming week or whatever.
Oh, yeah.
The weather has been insane.
So the other day when I left for work, I legit had to defrost my car.
It was cold.
It was ice and I had a hoodie on everything.
Go to work.
Tell me why the fuck when I was leaving, it was like 87 degrees.
What?
Yeah.
It wasn't even that warm down here.
I was like, what the fuck?
I was so hot and my in the car, it's all if I turn on the AC or what?
Well, just turn on the climate control, I guess it's programmed.
It's the heater.
It's blasting.
Like I have to program where's the AC, put it down to cold, push all these buttons.
Then the next morning it's like, fuck, I turn on the car, AC is blasting.
I'm gonna cross my windshield.
The fuck's going on?
Global warming.
Like I don't get it.
So you had one day of like summer weather then?
No.
As a matter of fact, it was three days and today is one of those days where it's
it's tell me if shit.
So the sun is just blaring in my room and I'm trying to sleep in.
I, you know, I struggle with insomnia and all that.
Yes.
I finally had a good night's rest.
Yay.
Yeah.
It was like, I'm going to fucking sleep until eight.
Yeah, that's that's sleeping in for me, people.
Yeah, I'm gonna sleep till eight.
You know what?
I'm gonna be a rebel.
I'm gonna sleep till nine.
I'm gonna be a bum.
Yeah, I'm gonna sleep till nine.
And why the fuck was the sun just glaring into my room and in your eyes?
Yeah, it's just it sucks because I have those blackout curtains that blackout the main window.
But there's this little fucking window that I didn't even think about.
It's right above my bed frame, the headboard.
And it's just a small window.
It's really, yeah, I don't know.
It kind of looks like a jail cell type window.
It's just kind of way up by the ceiling and you slide this little window.
Well, it doesn't have a curtain.
I have some like little pictures and stuff right there.
But you better throw some foil on it.
Yeah, for sure.
I was like, give me a fucking beach towel.
I'm gonna just write ghetto and just put that shit over there.
I don't know.
I just feel so ungrateful, Oregon, because I hate you and bitch at you about your weather.
Fuck it, where's the sun?
And the sun comes out.
I'm like, get the fuck out of here.
Why didn't you just pop up at fucking seven in the morning and wake me up on the day that I was going to be a bum?
I don't know.
Because the fucking spring forward or whatever the time change.
Geez, it's just horrible.
But yes, our weather is getting better and the only thing that I can think of is how fucking pasty I am.
So I don't know.
I started tanning in the tent.
I don't give a fuck.
Do you do that?
Are you laying out real rays or are you going to the tanning salon?
No, I'm the tanning bed is at the gym.
And then today is tomorrow is going to be 75.
And since I work from home, I'm going to be able to actually the sun better be out tomorrow because it keeps fucking doing this goddamn marine.
layer. Otherwise, I'd be laying out right now.
But tomorrow is supposed to be sunny.
So I will lay out on my lunch.
Yes.
I love how the dermatologist asks you like when you go to see the dermatologist, you use tanning beds or whatever.
Or do you fake tan?
And I always put no because I'm like, bitch, you're looking at my face.
I don't fake tan my face.
That shit gets covered up.
You know, I have goggles on.
Exactly.
Bronzer and what's in a darker foundation.
But I purposely fucking fuck with my face.
So no, no fake tan.
And I actually cover my hoo-ha so that shit right.
So there.
Yeah.
Fuck this.
Shaving my legs.
I'm like, it would be a nice day to wear some shorts.
But like goddamn Pomona bullets.
Fuck.
You're a true Argonian.
Fuck.
This is gross.
Tree hugger.
Yeah.
No shit.
Oh my gosh, it's I'm so pasty.
It's weird because it's not in my DNA.
Like my skin is like a nice olive color.
But I guess if you live in Oregon for 10 years.
Not anymore.
You turn like that.
One movie powder.
Oh shit.
Yes.
You're fluorescent white.
Yeah.
Don't worry if the power goes out.
Just take your shirt off.
Just put on some shorts.
There you go.
Yeah.
I was thinking about doing the spray tan.
Have you done that?
No, you know what?
I would but I shower twice a day.
And if I swim laps, I shower three times a day.
So that would never work in my favor.
And it would be a waste of money.
So doesn't it wash off?
See, I'm not privy to all like.
So it washes off eventually.
I thought it like.
Yeah.
It kind of stained your skin.
No, it eventually washes off.
But since I shower twice a day, it's just,
there's no point for me to do it.
I don't know how long it lasts.
I can't speak on that.
But since I guess whoever does do the spray tans,
they don't shower twice a day.
Obviously.
I would hope not because that would be a waste of money.
So there is that.
I don't know.
I was like, can you spray some abs on me too?
And like.
Oh yeah.
How's that?
They show.
Sure.
Put some definition.
Put a little bit darker.
Get your little.
What is it?
I don't even know.
Airbrush or whatever the hell they use.
I don't.
I don't know because I've never done it.
I did see an episode of Friends one time
where they were getting spray tanned.
Oh, I remember that episode.
Yeah.
That was funny.
Yeah.
And they're like, turn.
And you can just, this whole face is all orange and shit.
I don't know.
But I have seen some bitches come out of the tanning,
the capsules and stuff and shit.
I don't know.
Their face.
I don't.
I don't know.
You can tell that they had the goggles on and they were in there a little too long.
It's like, did you fall asleep in there?
Or did something not.
Oh yeah.
I don't know.
Because that you look like shit, but okay.
Whatever, right?
Yeah.
I don't know.
But yeah, I need some.
I need some goddamn color.
Yuck.
I'm not feeling good about it right now.
No short.
When you sit in your hot tub, is the sun blocked with that, the patio?
Yes.
Oh, no.
It's like, can you sit?
It's lattice.
So, okay, that's what it is.
So you just get like little rays on you, but.
It's not straight sun or whatever.
Well, okay.
I just got a layout in my yard.
There you go.
In my lounge chair.
In my book.
Read a book.
Yeah.
Yeah, in my book.
How old are you?
Look at us.
In our book.
Now bring your phone out and play some music, I guess, if you don't want to read.
Yeah.
Put on my little beats pill.
There you go.
Bother the neighbors with my music.
Oh, they probably hate.
They're like, oh fuck.
Oh my God, your neighbor with the skeletons.
Is it dressed up like St. Patrick's Day, probably?
Shit.
I'm not proud about that.
I haven't even been.
I fucking, you know what?
Since I'm, you know, I think I'm going to take a little walk downstairs and just fucking see.
This is interesting.
I bet he does have it dressed up as a leprechaun or, I don't know, it's in green.
At the very least.
I'm going to look.
I haven't.
Oh, no.
Okay, good.
Nope.
Still wearing the fucking Valentine's shit.
Okay.
Oh, God damn.
That's even worse.
Never mind.
And their Christmas lights are still up on their house.
No, just kidding.
I'm not surprised if they truly are.
Oh gosh.
I know.
Horrible, horrible neighbors.
I want to, I hope.
Okay.
I don't hope, but this is just how sadistic sometimes I feel in my head.
Just I want to be on neighborhood wars with them.
Like I want to almost make a deal like, hey,
did you say neighborhood wars?
Yeah.
I love it.
Just making sure I heard what I heard.
Have you seen that show?
No.
Okay.
So there's this show.
I don't know if it's on any or whatnot, but there's a show and it's called neighborhood wars.
And basically it's all these videos that they find either on YouTube or online, whatever.
And it's all about how they have shitty neighbors and they're just at war.
And it's, it's hilarious.
It's hilarious.
But some of it's real.
Some of it's, I mean, like real, like, damn cops got to get involved in all this and that.
And people are ready.
Oh, damn.
And then there's times where it's just like, it's, wow, that's a good one.
I can't believe that.
There was one where this guy, he just hated his papers so bad and they're just fighting and going back and forth, back and forth.
This guy decides to throw a bunch of, I guess, like bird seed or food or something that crows really like.
And then he put the speaker on his roof and it was some type of like call for the crows.
I don't know.
So a fucking shit ton of crows.
Oh, shit.
In his backyard.
And it was horrible, but that was genius.
It was genius.
I don't know.
There's just little things, but I would like to go on neighborhood wars.
Yes, please.
Let's make it like an agreement.
I'm sure you could submit it.
Yeah.
There has to be a way to submit, I guess, your case.
Yep.
You want to call it that?
That's what I want to do.
I want to do it.
And then I'm sure we can just put a little Hollywood into it and pretend that we're just really at war.
Oh, I'm sure I could totally see it already with you.
Like everything that Pomona Bolz is doing on that on that show is not exaggerated.
It's pure rage.
And it's like no exaggeration.
Get a chainsaw and just cut the skeleton.
Shit.
I would be a hero in my neighborhood.
Seriously, if I did that, I think everybody would have my back.
I'm sure your neighbors or the other neighbors, I guess, or whatever,
they've contemplated ways that they could possibly get rid of it with that.
But that camera that your next door neighbor has up would just totally,
I guess, ruin everybody's plan to remove the thing.
Yeah.
I know.
It's horrible.
But it keeps me going.
It keeps me sharp, my brain, because I'm just thinking of ways.
I'm never going to implement it.
One of these days.
Yes.
One of these days.
Girl.
Okay.
I'm going to say I was going on the urban dictionary.
And the only reason why is because I have legit dictionaries.
Do you have a book, a dictionary book in your house or?
I used to, but now I just go GTS it.
Yeah.
I GTS it that.
Yeah.
And I was looking at all these fucking dictionaries that I have and they are
huge, like fucking huge, a thousand plus pages, Webster's dictionary.
Right.
It's, it's an antique because half of the shit.
I didn't know that they update the dictionary every so many years.
The Webster dictionary or whatever you want to call for the English dictionary.
Right.
So these dictionaries that I have, they're like, yeah, I don't know.
1996.
Okay.
I was just like, oh shit.
This is, it doesn't even mean anything anymore.
It's right.
It's obsolete.
Plus there's so many new words.
It's so obsolete.
So yeah, I was going on urban dictionary and I did a fun little thing because urban
dictionary is just crazy.
And I look up Medusa.
Let's just see what they say.
What does Medusa?
And I'm thinking they're going to say, you know, it's the, she turns people into stone
and blah, blah, blah.
Oh, there's an actual term for Medusa in the urban dictionary.
Oh girl.
Yes.
And oh boy.
Okay.
I'm reading it and I was like, just for shits and giggles, let's see.
And then it says Medusa, a chick that is so out of order fine that she makes you all hard
like stone.
Okay.
Oh, okay.
And then it says example, Sheila is so fine.
She got me all Medusa.
Okay.
So the next one, Medusa.
It says a piercing located on the top lip in the middle just below your septum.
Okay.
It's a piercing, I guess.
All right.
And the next one, Medusa, the girl at the party who always has weed to share.
She gets everybody stoned.
All right.
So there's, wow, there's just way too many definitions for Medusa.
Yeah.
And I was like, well, that's not so bad.
So if I just look up Pomona, what does urban dictionary have to say about Pomona?
Because it's a city.
I'm not expecting anything crazy, but I'm just going to look it up.
And it says Pomona, a city in LA County that is also known for the LA County Fair.
Large population of Chicanos and gang bangers, also known as P-town.
Okay.
And then it says example, hey, let's go hit up the homies in Pomona.
AKA P-town.
All right.
And then the next one.
Uh-oh.
You're laughing.
I'm like, uh-oh.
That's what says Pomona.
Don't go there.
You'll get killed.
Fo-show.
And then this says example or the little sentence, how did he die?
He went to Pomona.
Even better.
I was like, whoa.
Okay. So, hmm.
Wow.
And I'm not going to go down the rabbit hole and just keep looking up shit because so
Pomona.
So me and Tori went to DeVry Institute in Pomona.
So what's that make me and Tori then?
909ers.
Some 909 gang bang graduates.
Yeah.
P-town graduates.
Shit.
Got it.
Wow.
Okay. Well, thank you Urban Dictionary for Medusa and Pomona.
Yeah.
To a T.
Right.
To a motherfucking T.
Oh, geez.
Yeah.
I don't know.
That was just like, that was, I did go down the rabbit hole.
I just put a shit in Urban Dictionary.
These people.
I don't even know.
So what else did you, or what else did you look up, I guess?
Or that you can recall?
Yeah. Well, I looked up certain things like,
you know, I looked up, I guess if you look up your name.
Oh, I never thought to do that.
Yeah.
And I was like, huh, okay.
Mine pretty much fit me to a T.
I was, well, I would like to say, but I'm just like, exactly.
Yes, I'm intelligent. I'm beautiful.
Yes.
My teeth. Yes.
I have a smile that brightens the room.
Wow. I thought, okay.
Well, I'm going to look into this more, I guess.
I just thought Urban Dictionary was for Ronch.
Medusa, I looked you up.
Okay.
And it says, the most amazing human you'll ever meet.
The best.
Are you serious?
I'm serious. I'm reading it right now.
I'm looking at it.
What? Okay.
And it says the best friend you could imagine.
And it says blank is or Medusa is sweet, funny, caring, and has a lot of swag.
If you ever meet a Medusa, cherish them.
Medusa deserved it.
Yeah.
Well, Pomona Boats, I think you're, I'm going to call bullshit, but okay.
You know what? You go to Urban Dictionary and look it up.
I will look it up.
And then it says, someone with the name Medusa is powerful and lucky.
They have the power to enchant and attract and also create a protector and healer.
Serious?
Interesting.
Oh, and the best one is Medusa is the kind of girl you need in your life.
She knows.
Need.
Yeah.
It's, it's all in caps.
And E E E E E E E E D D D D D D D D D.
Holy shit.
Yeah.
In your life.
She knows all the words to almost every song.
Rap.
That's highly, not really.
Musical pop, rock, you name it.
She's also super sexy.
Even when she doesn't try, 100% sure you'll never catch her slipping.
Her style is effortless and timeless.
And she's almost always wearing something designer.
She's so beautiful.
I'm wearing Walmart right now.
Oh shit.
Girl, that is top notch right there.
That's right.
I'm bougie bitch.
Yup.
bougie, bougie.
Yeah.
She's so beautiful.
She looks like a princess.
She always puts others before herself and she'll be there no matter what.
And you can, you can go and GTS and do it.
I'm going to Urban Dictionary right fucking now because I'm like, wow, it's like,
I actually wrote this about myself.
I know.
I fucking love it.
When I looked up, when I looked up at mine, I'm just like, wow.
Yeah.
Somebody stole my diary.
Oh, they even spelled my name right because you know my name isn't spelled the same way that
the normal people spell it.
That is so weird.
I know.
Okay.
Well, I guess maybe I should screenshot this and
like print them all out and stick them on my walls.
Yeah.
On our, yeah.
We should put on our mirrors when we're brushing our teeth in the morning.
Jesus fucking Christ.
Oh my God.
And they even put Medusa in a sentence.
I thought you were joking about that.
What the fuck?
I know.
Wow.
The phones really listen to you.
That's what I'm saying.
I was like, all our electronics, the toaster, the TV, they're all listening.
What the fuck?
Okay.
The last one is eat my ass.
Yeah.
Yep.
Exactly.
Oh, that's hilarious.
I'm telling you.
I was like what?
I just fell down the Urban Dictionary rabbit hole.
And I was like, oh, I'm just going to put this.
I'm just going to put that.
Yeah.
It's fucking insane.
And eat my ass was posted by Yo Daddy 5.
Okay.
So I'm going to start looking at Urban Dictionary before we meet the next episode just so I can
see if I can jog your memory on any of this stuff.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
We should totally do that.
Let's do our Urban Dictionary little dialogue.
Bagment.
Yeah.
There we go.
Okay.
There we go.
Yeah.
For sure.
It's so crazy.
I don't know.
Wow.
Okay.
Yeah.
I'm still looking at my name and I'm just like flabbergasted.
Who's old now want to use a word like flabbergasted?
Shit.
Is your son on spring break already?
No.
I don't know what that is.
I just popped in my head.
Not yet.
It's next week is the last week of school and then spring break.
Okay.
Cool.
Is he doing anything he's just going to stay at home?
Yeah.
It's just yeah.
Poor guy.
He has to stay at home unless he wants to ride his bike somewhere.
I have to work.
So.
Okay.
Well, that's cool.
I wasn't sure.
So I know everybody's spring break is like always at the not on the same time or whatever.
Yeah.
When did that ever happen?
And it seemed like when we were growing up, everybody was on the same week or like the week before or the week after Christmas of Easter.
Right.
So.
Yeah.
And it was like everybody goes, you know, Cabo for spring break or whatever.
Yeah.
It was that one week.
Everybody had it.
Same time, I guess.
But I don't know what's going on now.
Oh well.
Yeah.
It's so crazy.
And speaking of spring break and Easter and all that.
So, you know, I do like the schedules and stuff for work and.
Oh, is a lot of people taking time off to be with their family, I guess?
No.
So the corporation is saying we are going to give everybody Easter off.
So everybody gets Easter Sunday off.
But you already have Sundays off.
I know.
So it doesn't benefit me, but check this out.
Yeah, we're going to be closed, but it's not a paid holiday.
They're just giving you the day off.
Wait, oh wait, isn't the store, oh.
So the people who normally work on that on Sundays, the store's closed on Easter, right?
Right.
But they're not getting paid holiday pay because it's closed?
Yep.
Okay.
Well, that's fucking rude.
Yeah.
And they're like, yeah, happy Easter.
Well, fuck you.
And have a good day.
Thank you.
So I'm just.
That makes actually no sense, but that's really rude.
Yeah, I think so.
So I started putting people that were full-timers a shift on their schedule.
Yeah, I was just going to say.
So are they asking or are they asking to work to make up their day off then, I guess?
If they want to not have a short paycheck.
Okay.
Well, damn, okay.
It's like, oh, thank you.
The big wigs and higher ups.
Thank you.
You're so thoughtful.
And what, meanwhile, they're getting paid.
Yeah.
Fucking rude.
Very rude.
Are you the type of person that makes like Easter dinner or Easter lunch or whatever?
All right.
Do you do all the cooking and everything?
No, I used to when the kids were younger, but.
Okay.
That's all I worry.
No, I don't know.
I just, I don't know.
And it's all that for me, that I just propaganda shit.
I know it has a meaning and everything and whatever.
Not to me, it doesn't.
But to me, yeah, my life, like, fuck that.
I don't know how many hard boiled eggs I can eat.
I'm tired of egg salad, right?
Cobb salad.
Put it all these eggs everywhere.
It's like my kids never ate the hard boiled.
They like hard boiled eggs, but I just, and then I reverted to just the plastic eggs and
throwing jelly beans in that shit and just.
Right.
And so, yeah.
And then the whole ham and all that.
I don't do, I don't do anything.
I'm old.
I'm old and tired.
Yeah, I'm not doing, I don't know.
My mom will probably do something, but I don't fucking do anything.
So whatever.
Did you ever get an Easter basket growing up?
Not really.
We were poor.
So there's that.
But my daughter always got one because I never got one.
Yeah.
My kids too.
Did you get one growing up?
Fuck no, I did.
I never got a fucking.
I thought you would have.
Okay.
Yeah, I never got one that I can recall.
I might have gotten like a candy bar or something like that, but a legit Easter basket like everybody
else would get.
No.
Yeah, I never did either.
And I would go to the grocery store and just see those little fucking Easter baskets wrapped with.
Yes.
Yeah.
And I would just peek and what's in it.
I've never got those Reese's peanut butter cups.
Yeah, I want that fucking chocolate hollow bunny.
Like, right.
I want peeps.
I want that plastic grass.
Oh my God.
Me and my daughter used to eat those peeps all the fucking time.
It's just fucking sugar and fucking sugar crystals.
Geez.
Four marshmallows, I guess.
I'm sorry.
I've never had a peep.
Well, you're not missing anything except a sugar high and followed by an immediate sugar low.
And a headache.
Yes, exactly.
You're not missing anything.
Oh, okay.
Well, I guess I'll just.
I dodged a bullet.
You're better off with a Kit Kat, because I know you like it.
Is the Kit Kat you like, I want to say?
Twix.
Oh, Twix.
Okay.
Yeah.
Twix are way better.
Yeah.
Oh, I love Twix.
Speaking of Twix.
So I'm at work and I, it was lunchtime.
I was super busy.
I didn't really take my lunch, but I needed something.
And I was like, I'm going to get a Twix.
So I go out of my office, grab a Twix, come back.
I open it up.
Tell me why that shit looked all expired.
And you know when chocolate is dry.
Yeah.
And it's all white.
That little white film or whatever starting.
I was like, what the fuck?
And they charged me $3 for this bitch.
Like, oh my God.
For a candy bar?
Yeah.
What the hell?
Was it the giant size?
Nope. No.
I can't believe a candy bar cost $3.
I neither could I.
I just, I haven't, I don't buy candy.
I don't, obviously I don't either because I would have been like,
don't buy them.
They're three fucking dollars.
Yes.
Don't even do it.
I mean, unless you buy it at, I guess, a dollar tree or
fucking $0.99 or if they sell them, but.
What the fuck?
Yeah.
Three fucking dollars.
And I don't even know.
I don't even know why I'm acting surprised because gas and all
that shit.
That's like, what?
Fill up my tank and it's, oh, how much is gas up there?
Um, it's going up a little bit.
So right now for just the regular, it's $3.87.
Oh, that's so much better.
Are there still like, I want to say it's like 475 maybe 450 down here.
Uh, yeah.
It used to be a lot more.
So it's coming down, but you know, Memorial Day will spike it back up.
Oh, for sure.
For sure.
We're just, yeah, fucking Twix.
No way.
Hey.
I don't know.
Damn, I cannot believe a Twix bar is $3.
Now the next time I go to the grocery store, I'm going to check out the
candy bar aisle and see what they're charging.
Exactly.
It's just like, no wonder why I don't, I stopped passing out candy on fucking Halloween.
Right.
It's fucking good.
I won't be able to pay my mortgage.
God damn.
Tootsie rolls.
It is.
I wonder how much fucking tootsie rolls.
If they have to be expensive, even though they're fucking just hard and corn syrup.
Geez.
I would think I could be wrong, but it has to be inflation is just everywhere.
Even spam.
When I was, I told you I was trying to get a can of spam.
I'm like, what?
A dollar more now, I want to say.
Over here, if I want a can, one fucking can of spam, it's almost six bucks.
Shut up.
It's $3 down here.
That's so weird.
I know.
That's why I tell my buddy, you get me some spam.
Holy shit.
For six dollars?
Yeah.
For one fucking can.
Wow.
Okay.
Yep.
And don't even get me on the fucking ground beef.
The hell?
Do you, I wonder if they sell, do you go to Costco?
I'm sure they have it at Costco for cheaper, but you probably got to buy like a 12 pack.
Yeah.
You got to buy a case of that shit, but I'll take it.
I was going to say it's not like it'll go to waste and it will never expire.
It's fucking spam.
Exactly.
You have that shit in my pantry for 20 years and still eat it.
Right.
But you're a fucking emergency food bunker.
Yeah.
MRE.
Spam.
Hey, does Oregon get earthquakes?
I was just wondering now that we're talking about, I guess, natural disasters.
Yeah.
And not really.
You guys do, right?
No.
No?
No.
Well, I've been here 10 years and no.
Nothing.
Oh, okay.
I was wondering because, well, I guess you don't need emergency spam then.
Yeah.
Well, I mean, we're surrounded by like zombie, zombie deers, zombie people.
Like, yeah, there's really zombie deers here.
I don't tell me it.
Okay.
Learn something new every day.
So fucking what?
They're eating drugs or something or what does that mean?
They said that it was caught.
It's caused by a certain tick and oh, a tick bite.
Yeah.
And then they.
Okay.
Wow.
Yeah.
It's weird.
I guess the raccoons get it.
So there's zombie raccoons, zombie deer.
Ugh.
Yeah.
It's crazy.
And they're legit weird.
Like their eyes change.
It's like almost like, like if they have glaucoma or something and they're just weird.
Blood starts coming out of the side of their mouth and.
Yeah.
Zombie deer disease epidemic spreads.
I just Googled it because I'm like, what the fuck?
It's down here.
Zombie deer disease epidemic spreads in Yellowstone as scientists raise fears it may jump to humans.
Oh, of course it will.
Of course.
Fuck.
You're like, no, that's just fentanyl.
Right.
It's so the actual term is chronic wasting disease.
I guess is what the deer zombies are caused by prions, prions, Prius, whatever,
caused by prio and s abnormal transmissible pathogenic agents have been spreading.
Steady.
Wow.
Across North America with concerns voiced primarily by hunters after spotting deer behaving strangely.
Okay.
Um, yeah.
It's the end of the end times.
Right.
Zombie deers.
Who's that?
Get the fuck out of here.
Shut the front door.
I ain't no zombie deers.
Yeah.
Have you seen any lately driving, I guess, when you go to work, since your work is you live in a rural state?
Yeah.
I I see him all the time.
I've seen.
See, because that's the thing.
I'm still like living under a rock.
I'm still considering myself new to this shit.
I don't know if I see a deer.
I'm just like, oh, I still get surprised.
Like, right.
There's a deer in the street.
I almost hit a fucking deer getting gas.
It's just I get so excited.
Like, whoa, guess what?
And everyone's like, yeah, the blueberries are out.
Deers are out.
Okay.
Well, I fucking know.
Oh, that makes sense.
I never thought of that.
Yeah.
So I'm just kind of learning like, oh, well, duh, I guess.
I'm trying to become a product of my environment.
It's pretty tough, but OK.
You're like, just leave me alone and let me get to work.
Yeah.
And then I would see a deer just in the road on the highway.
And yeah, yeah, deer in the headlights.
And then it kind of either just scampers off or I don't know.
I've seen deer, but these zombie.
The deer, these zombie deers are there.
Yeah, they're crazy.
And what do you if like the hunters that go during deer hunting season,
if they like shoot a deer or I guess, yeah, shoot a deer.
And I wonder if they get when they get the deers butchered up if they test for that.
Because you wouldn't want to eat that deer if it was infected and you did.
It wasn't I mean, if it was acting normal, like maybe it just got the disease.
I don't know what the what the what's the word, you know, what word I'm looking for,
like the not dormant stage, but like they they have it, but it's not fully showing.
They're not showing symptoms.
Right, right.
Yeah.
You don't want to eat that meat.
I'm like, I would want to get the meat tested before I get it butchered, I guess.
You would think.
You would think it's like that.
It's in their blood.
Exactly.
So it's going through all the muscles and eat.
So the last thing you want is to eat that.
Oh, so maybe that's why they said it's projected or to get to humans.
Humans.
Yeah, because they're probably, oh, god damn.
Okay.
Daniel, I was just like, whoa, fuck.
Well, thank goodness I don't eat deer.
Yeah.
Now I got way too many questions, but okay, I'm not going to leave it for this podcast
because we're both not deer experts.
How about that?
Yeah, exactly.
It was like, I barely, I barely know what a buck is.
I, I'm, I'm, yeah.
I learned what my name means today as of Urban Dictionary and clearly you learned yours.
So thank you Pomona Bullets for looking both our names up.
You betcha.
That's, that's my life.
I'm a fun fact.
I'm bored.
Just going to look at Urban Dictionary.
Well, at least you're able to fill today's episode because I didn't really have
that much.
Well, yeah.
I thank you very much Pomona Bullets.
You're very welcome.
I'm glad I could help out.
Do you have any parting words for our listeners before we call it a day?
I don't, but for those who eat corned beef and cabbage and drink green beer, cheers.
Cheers.
And on, or before I say and on that note, I had a boyfriend like 10 years ago, I guess
if you want to call him a boyfriend, he's like, Hey Medusa, it's St. Patrick's Day.
I'm drinking green beer and I'm like, you know, it's just fucking food coloring bitch.
Right.
And he's like, what?
And I'm like, God damn, but I am dating an idiot.
You're all red flag, right?
Fucking red flag.
I'm like, it's food coloring, bro.
You're all black, blocking you after we hang up.
Fuck man.
Yeah.
And yeah, listeners, please take a drink from me and Pomona Bullets.
I'm going to continue my sober train, I guess, until I'm feeling up to drinking.
Thanks.
All right.
Happy St. Patrick's Day all.
Yes.
Be safe.
Bye.