Welcome to the Nonsense Bitches. Let us begin.
Good afternoon, the bitch. Good afternoon, bitch.
Happy Sunday. Happy Sunday. How's it going?
It's going okay. The weather, I guess, is supposed to start raining again later on today.
That's all I keep talking about on the fucking news.
My mom was watching the news and I'm like, oh, here we go.
It's supposed to rain all the way to Wednesday. So who knows?
Is it really? So all the news that we get up here, up in North and Oregon,
because it rains all day long, you know, for, what, 80% of the year.
Right. And we're getting all this news.
It's like, what's the fucking news? California flood warnings.
Flash floods. Yeah. Is that happening there?
Like two weeks ago, I think it was two weeks ago. It rained for like 72 hours.
Fucking straight. I'm like, can the fucking clouds just fucking move?
Like just fucking move and the rain could be fucking done.
Yeah. So that's what we're dealing with. Again, I guess starting tonight,
I'm like, I'm never living Oregon or fucking Seattle. Like, no, fuck that shit.
No, especially when they look down upon the people that use umbrellas.
Right. Jesus Christ.
Okay. So really quick before I forget, I wrote it down.
Did you actually count the Taylor Swift appearances on the Superbowl last week?
Yeah. I was just going to say, I was just going to say,
I was just going to say, tell the listeners,
because I wasn't paying attention when it came to her on the screen. Yeah.
It was a little difficult because honestly, I had to live up to my word.
And I said, I am going to telemark this shit.
And I don't know, my final tally came out to nine.
I was like, wow, that I must have missed something somewhere. So I Google it.
And the, oh, yeah, GTS bitch. GTS that shit.
And the official score is 11. So I, I must have missed a couple.
Okay. So the official score after GTS, you met shit was 11.
No shit. Yeah, we were way off.
Way off. God damn it. Okay.
Got it.
Sorry.
It's all right. I keep blowing my nose. I don't know.
It can't be allergies because it's really rainy and cold here. So is it still,
has it been snowing or no, we have another winter storm watch ahead for next week.
Hopefully there's no snow. I don't know.
Or ice or freezing rain or black, whatever they call it, all those elements, please.
I'm over it. So it hasn't been like that since the last time,
maybe two or three weeks ago where it was just totally ice for like an entire fucking week.
Yeah, it's been pretty decent. Okay, good. Yeah.
Thank goodness. Cause I,
I'm so lost in the sauce and when the weather decides to do its being here, I don't know.
I panic.
I would too. So it's crazy.
Little Islander girl, I just need some sun.
Right. And the occasional monsoon rain.
Yeah.
Years after 30 minutes. Exactly. Exactly.
I'm just tired. I look at my electricity bill and they go, shit.
I'm like, what the fuck? Not only is, is the price of groceries fucking skyrocketing.
I guess my fucking utility bills are too.
Or maybe I'm just the one where I, I can't, I don't know.
I hear people here in Oregon all the time.
They say, Oh, it's only going to be 37 degrees today. Only.
That's cold. That's cold.
For the low, that's okay. But for the high, I have a problem with it being the high.
The low, that's totally fine.
It's cause the low is 33 degrees and the high is 44.
Oh, you know what? So three weeks ago, when it was two weeks ago,
whenever it rained for 72 hours straight, the high was like 49.
Another day.
And it was like, I was like, uh, this is not gonna happen if you're in a
SchittuNott. Yeah. Yeah. It got cold.
And I'm like, okay, I'm actually cold right now.
Whoa.
49 was the high one day. And I was just like, Holy fucking,
shit.
You guys don't know what to do with that type of fucking weather.
Oh, I'm glad I was in my sweats with your snaggy.
Whatever.
Cool.
But how do you like working at home?
I love it.
I know some people don't like it.
I love it.
So, um, yeah, I'm just dealing Excel spreadsheets all day long, which is my expertise.
So it's a win-win.
Right on.
That's awesome.
I love it too.
You just think, God, yeah, no more commute.
I scored on that one.
Um, okay.
So I'm looking at my notes.
I wrote some stuff down, I guess, I don't know if you did or not, but, um, casino.org,
they had a recent survey asking the, I guess the general public, I don't know.
What's the biggest ripoff tourist attraction in California?
And what would your answer be?
Disneyland.
Yeah.
Winner, winner chicken dinner.
Winner fucking winner.
I'll tell you what, I don't know if I told you this, like when I worked at the
city of Long Beach, there is a bunch of people that have fucking annual passes.
It's ridiculous how many people have those passes.
The one lady that, um, trained me, she's, uh, she's been retired for a long time now,
but, um, we still keep in contact.
She renewed, she always renews her past.
She's been a Disney girl since forever.
$1,600 girl.
And that does not include parking.
And you have to request your day in advance to attend.
Like you can't just show up any day.
For $1,600, I better be able to show up whenever the fuck I want.
Early access to the park.
Right?
Oh my God.
Damn fucking Disneyland.
Like fuck that place.
And that's, I was just like, yeah, so she, it's not called blackout dates, I
guess, but you have to request your day in advance.
And if you don't show up, I guess that you, you get a ding on your report card.
What?
Yeah.
I was just like, okay, Hitler, calm the fuck down.
Fuck down.
Fuck.
No.
I, so hard to wrap my head around this whole Disney fucking thing.
Right?
I don't know.
I mean, I, I get it that we grew up in SoCal for the most part.
And I guess people can call us where we were privileged to just be there and we
don't have a book of flight or anything.
Oh, I see.
Yeah, I guess whatever.
Don't care.
Yeah.
And it's just like, I hate it because half the time with my job and what I do when
people request vacation time, sometimes I will ask just, oh, really?
Oh, okay.
Where are you?
Where are you headed?
Where are you going?
Any plans?
Is it a staycation?
I'm doing small talk and I shit you not.
Seven out of 10 motherfuckers say, we're going to Disneyland.
We're going to Disneyland.
Fuckin' Disneyland.
Whatever.
Wow.
Whatever.
I was like, well, good luck to you and all that bullshit.
Right?
I remember the Long Beach director.
I guess I want to say she had a pass and clearly we didn't get along.
She was like, hey, do you have a, she was like, she said something about
Disneyland and I'm like, oh, okay.
Do you have a Disneyland pass?
I'm like, no, I fucking hate kids.
She gave me the meanest luck and I'm just like, well, at least I'm fucking
telling you the truth, bitch.
Like have fun.
Yeah.
Good luck with that.
Oh, fuck.
No.
And then their little speed pass and they did do a good tourist thing, I guess,
by doing that California theme park.
Whatever.
Oh, the adventure.
I would rather hang out there than Disneyland.
Oh, yeah.
For sure.
And that's probably because we're locals.
I went on one of the attractions and it's speaking about California and the
history and the gold mines and I'm like, I don't give two fucks about any of this.
Right.
I learned it in elementary school.
And then I forgot about it because I totally forgot about that part.
But yeah.
Yeah.
I'm like, all right.
Okay.
At least I believe they sell beer there.
Well, yeah, but the other place doesn't.
I want to say, I don't know.
I could be wrong.
It's really, yeah.
I, yeah, I think you have to like have certain reservations at that certain
restaurants and you could have some wine, but you, you.
Oh, probably you.
Yeah.
I want to say this.
There's a Star Wars restaurant there that might long beach coworkers would buy drinks
at and of course they were astronomically overpriced.
Of course.
How would they make their money with millions and millions of tourists coming every day?
They have to charge you that $14 for a six ounce glass of beer.
And you know what?
I don't even know because I haven't been there since M was three was the last time
I went there.
But I don't even know if they let you bring food and drink in the park because
Universal does.
And that's when I bring my fucking, I bring in three of my flasks or not my flasks,
but what's it called?
Those hydro flasks.
Yes.
You know what I'm talking about?
Yeah.
So one has hot coffee.
One has a Guinness.
The other one has hot tea with vodka.
And then the other one is water to properly hydrate.
Yes.
You know what?
Speaking of Universal.
Yeah.
That's the spot.
Definitely.
It's more chill and lay back and you can just be on that tram tour.
Like I've been, I was going to twice when I'm there, but I hit my pass expired like
a year and a half ago.
So I didn't renew it.
Did you ever go when they opened up the Simpsons world and.
All that.
Oh yeah, the rider.
Yeah.
You know what?
They're getting rid of that because Disney owns, I guess Disney bought the
Simpsons, if I'm saying that correctly.
So they're going to change that.
They've been saying that for a year and a half now.
So I don't know if it's this year that it actually changes, but they're going to
change that.
It used to be back to the future as you're aware.
And then it was the Simpsons and now they're going to change it to Bob's burger.
Oh yeah.
So I was just like, okay, whatever.
Shit.
I used to love going to Mo's cavern.
It was the spot.
Oh, that.
Yeah.
Right.
I was like, hell yeah.
Yes, please.
And then the place across the way where there used to be like a
Spider-Man show.
I don't know if you remember that.
Oh, yes.
That they're, they're making a Fast and the Furious ride there.
You know, I'm like, I'm going to have to, and it's going to be like the Simpsons
probably like where it's all like, not really a ride, but a ride, I guess.
Yeah.
You just sit in that little.
Yeah.
I don't know if it was a called, I guess that's a virtual ride.
I don't know what type of ride it's called, but that's where they're putting
that Fast and the Furious ride out.
Ah, lame.
Exactly.
I even want the Harry Potter exhibit to open.
Oh my God.
You know, I went, I finally went there a year and a half ago when I got my pass.
Okay.
I guess it was okay, but I'm really sad because that used to be the Hollywood.
Was it the amphitheater?
Oh, you know, yeah.
I used to be the Hollywood amphitheater and that's where K-Rock would have
their acoustic Christmases.
I took M2C Good Charlotte there twice.
I saw Blink 182.
I seen corn.
There's a lot of shows and they fucking got rid of it for fucking Harry Potter.
Oh, I didn't know that they took up that space.
Yes.
So I was just like, I was angry about that.
And then when I finally got to Harry Potter, I'm like, this is fucking overrated.
Oh, what?
Damn it.
I don't know.
It's either we're like getting super old and we're just getting grouchier by the day or,
I don't know, maybe.
I don't know, maybe some of our listeners are like, fuck that.
It's the best.
It could be.
Well, I don't know.
Did you ever have a pass for Universal or?
Yes.
Maybe Disneyland.
Oh, yes.
The passes, though, for Disneyland were more geared towards the kids.
Did I ever really get excited to take them?
No.
Of course not.
No.
I was going to say, of course not.
No, no, and no.
But, um, yeah, I do recall you giving me some very,
very great tips to going to Disneyland and things with the kids.
Oh, I don't remember that, but OK, I must have been in a drunken phase.
Oh, yeah, it was just great tips, great tips.
Instead of the sippy cups with apple juice, you're like, you know,
what looks like apple juice?
Oh, beer.
That's genius.
Just get rid of all the head.
Yeah, pull, pull a little whiskey in there or something like just a little
sound right.
Yeah, just don't matter.
It looks like apple juice.
Like it's my kids sippy cup.
That's OK.
Well, then I guess I did school you right.
So you're welcome.
So thank you for that.
Thank you for that.
It made the experience so much better.
Or actually, you can use the word tolerable.
Yeah, for sure.
It's just about that.
Yeah.
About.
I just was insane, but I did have I had all the passes for the kids I had.
I even had a knots Berry Farm pass.
That's the one pass I never got.
And that that pass, my hair, my hair guy has one and I think he had one.
I think it expired, but it's really not too expensive.
And there was no blackout date.
So he was always going.
He said he had a lot of fun.
Yeah, it's very reasonable.
And it's pretty cool.
I like that one.
The kids are just more like, we're going to Disneyland.
Goofy, that shit.
I like God, I guess I even had when M was probably still in elementary,
but then I got tired of driving all the way there to Magic Mountain
because we fucking love roller coasters.
But that's like the longest fucking driver.
God damn roller coaster.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
I used to like.
Well, I used to like the Halloween at knots and then six flags or whatever.
It's called now Magic Mountain.
They stepped it up pretty good when it came to like Halloween and all that.
But I never went to the Halloween one there.
I'm not the type of person that likes to get like somebody jump in front of me
and go, wow, because I fucking freak out and I have a fucking heart attack.
So I did that not scary farm.
Yes.
And that was probably like right out of high school or after high school.
Or whatever.
And I'm like, I'm never doing this again.
This is not fun.
I love horror movies, but I don't like people jumping out in front of me
and like trying to scare me and shit.
But at least you're expecting it.
When you go, I was just like fucking, I'm like, get out of my face.
I want to suck you.
And they have all those signs you cannot touch employees.
Well, don't get fucking in my face, bitch.
How about there?
Let's start there.
What a dangerous job.
I wouldn't sign up for that.
Right.
Get knocked out.
So for Monobolets, I didn't tell you two
Fridays ago, I was on my way to the gorillas.
I'm stopped on the 605, the number one, the number one lane,
which is right next to the carpool lane, completely stopped because of traffic.
And somebody rear ends me.
And I'm like, I'm fucking sitting there.
And I'm like, did I just fucking get rear ended?
I'm like, I'm sitting in fucking traffic.
So that means you were playing on your fucking phone.
Yeah.
It was completely dark outside.
So I'm just like, and then we try to get.
I'm trying to get over to the side of the freeway.
So I have to get over all the fucking lanes.
And so I'm talking to Grill on the phone.
He's like, well, are you going to pull over?
I'm like, yeah, I'm trying to pull over right now.
I don't know if I should get off the freeway, blah, blah, blah.
And he's like, well, is the person following you?
I'm like, dude, I can't fucking tell.
It's fucking dark out.
There's headlights everywhere.
Thank God he fucking pulled over.
Anyways, so I call my insurance on Monday.
It wasn't too bad of the damage.
I get my car back tomorrow.
I get.
So I call my insurance on Monday because I haven't been rear ended in forever.
So they're like, OK, so I'm like, so how's it work with the car rental?
They're like, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.
You need to call his insurance to file a claim with them.
And I'm like, isn't that your fucking job?
Like I pay you and she's like, that's not how it works if you get rear ended.
Now she's like, if you cause the accident, then yeah, we start the process.
But since he caused the accident, you need to call his car insurance.
And she's like, I can guarantee he has not caused car insurance yet.
So you need to call his car insurance.
I'm like, God damn it.
What? Of course I call.
It's Monday morning, like at eight o'clock in the morning.
And I'm talking to he had nationwide.
And they're like, oh, yeah, there's no claim filed yet.
I'm like, no, my fucking car insurance knew everything.
Just like, God damn it.
File the file the insurance.
And I think within two hours, because they were able to get in contact with him
right away, he's like, yeah, I fucking hit her.
It's my fault. And I'm like, OK, thank fucking God.
He didn't fucking like, I'm like, there's no other way you rear ended me.
Yeah, I was completely stopped. Come on.
So I get my car back tomorrow.
When I went here's the thing.
If for anybody, I guess in California, I can't speak for everybody.
If you get rear ended and the car insurance says the person,
the party at fault says their car insurance is going to cover your car rental.
Great. So this is what happens.
You're supposed to ask for a when you talk to the at fault parties, car insurance.
You need to ask for a what's it called?
A reservation number for where you're going to pick up your car from,
because I didn't fucking do that.
What I I dropped my car off at the they estimated my car.
It's like right down the street.
I dropped my car off and they're like, OK, so we'll call Enterprise
rented car for your, you know, for your car.
And I'm like, OK, cool.
So what's your reservation number?
I'm like, what?
I'm like nationwide car insurance told me when I get here that they will cover it
and that you guys need to call the car insurance.
I'm sorry, the car rental and they will come pick me up and I'll get my fucking car.
Yeah, well, that's not how it works.
They always fucking pull this stunt like you need a fucking call
and get a reservation number unless you want to pay out of pocket right now
and they can reimburse you. I'm like, oh, that's not going to happen.
So I got my car the following day or the rental or whatever.
But I was just like, good.
I was just so much fucking drama.
I was like, I can't read your fucking mind.
I wish I could have I had known I would have gotten the fucking reservation number.
And I would have called and filed a claim like Saturday morning with nationwide on that guy.
Exactly. But why didn't they tell you?
Step one, thank you. Exactly.
Get a reservation number because you're going to need it.
Yeah, the the collision center was just like, yeah, they always pull that.
I'm just like, I'm so glad I work remote because I would have went.
And of course, I went I kind of went off, but I didn't because it's not his fault.
It's not my I guess it was my fault.
But I was just like, this is I'm like, you're just everybody's just wasting
my fucking time again, and that's when I get fucking pissed.
Of course, because time is precious and it's not supposed to be wasted on fucking idiots.
Right, right.
Shit, at least I was just happy that I didn't get hurt because he he hit me,
but he didn't hit me fast because he wasn't coming at me fast.
Right from the traffic and all that.
Yeah. And he had insurance.
So I'm like, I really can't fucking complain about anything.
Otherwise, I would have really been pissed.
Yeah. Worst case scenario, trying to get to the freaking side
to exchange information and just keep going.
Exactly. That's all I was just like, dude, this better not be a hit and run.
Like, please.
So yeah, no, but he pulled over.
Thank God. So there was damage done to the to the rear end.
Yeah. So the bumper and then, of course, when the estimator calls me
after they take the bumper off, they're like, oh, yeah, there's additional damage
underneath. So of course.
He's like, but only take a week because he's like, it could take up to three
to four weeks. I'm like, for a fucking bumper.
Oh, my God. That's when I went off and he's like, well, just, you know,
he's like, I'm just estimating. I'm like a fucking hope not.
Wow.
So all in all, no out of pocket, nothing, right?
You were able to. Well, I'm out of pocket for
because like when I talk to my car insurance, I'm like, I'm in a rental.
Are you guys going to cover the fucking, you know, like the insurance
of like, just to say I hit something or whatever the fuck happens, right?
You know, like the car insurance part, right?
You know, I'm talking about, they're like, well, you weren't at fault or yet
you weren't at fault. So you don't have to have the car insurance,
but then you're liable. And I'm just like fucking slap the car insurance on
their bitch. So $35 a day.
Yeah.
Whatever. I'm in a Toyota RAV4 and let me tell you, I fucking hate it.
Really?
They're I don't know. They're lumbar.
Lumbar. Am I saying that correctly?
Yeah. L U M B A R.
I fucking need the lumbar and their lumbar sucks.
I was just like, it's all the way out, but it feels like it's just still flat.
I'm like, oh, I thought Toyota was great. I guess not.
I've never been in a Toyota.
So, I mean, I've never driven a Toyota.
I've been in Toyota as a passenger, but not as a driver.
So I was just like, this is overrated.
I don't know. Whatever. Wow.
I heard a lot of good things about Toyota RAV4, but I don't know.
I think that's all their cars, but I don't know.
I think those are all the loyal people who've only ever driven Toyota.
Yeah, true. Maybe I don't know.
Could be. It just I don't know.
I wow, I am so sorry to hear that.
I would whatever.
Yeah, well, I'm not hurt and he had car insurance, so it's a it's OK.
Yeah. I mean, the best outcome
out of the worst fucking situation, I guess.
Yeah. Oh, God.
What? Yeah.
No, I'm already getting all pissed off for you.
I'm sorry. Maybe I shouldn't have said anything.
I was like, no, that's horrible.
Well, I told you that when I I came out of work one day
and I had this huge effin dent on the past. Oh, yeah.
Like somebody, I don't know.
Were you mad?
That was a big dent that you showed me.
And it's like, do I even call my insurance for this shit?
Nobody left a note saying, hey, you know what?
It was probably a fucking employee, because let me tell you, my Chevy Sonic,
when I had my Chevy Sonic, it was it wasn't pristine,
but there was no dings until I started working at the city of Long Beach.
And I would only park in the parking lot or the parking structure where other
employees parked. And let me tell you, they all fucking suck
because I had so many fucking dings on all the sides of my doors
or sides, both left and right.
While working there, I worked there for, I don't know, six years.
Fuck, man.
It's worse drivers ever city of Long Beach employees.
Shit.
It's the same here.
I don't know. And I.
So, you know, I sit in my car for my lunch or do my thing.
And half the time, people don't even know I'm in my fucking car.
And so, right, I see these big ass trucks just coveted in and they try to park
in these little compact parking spots.
And I was sitting in my car and I'm playing
and he crushed on my phone being the nerd that I am.
I don't know.
And this truck pulls right next to me.
Fucking huge.
And I look to the right.
There must be, I don't know, a foot between us.
OK, that's not a lot at all.
Right.
And I'm thinking to myself, how the fuck is this person going to get out
without hitting my car?
Or I'm hoping they're going to try to back up and try to.
Or I don't know.
Are you really fucking parking that close?
They do try to back up, pull up, back up, pull up, but they were coming
so close to my car.
I don't.
It was like a helpless situation.
What do I do?
Get out of my car and say, excuse me, you're coming a little too close.
Or I don't know.
But what did he end up parking that way?
Yeah, no, he ended up parking and gave himself about two feet, maybe a little
bit more, but he's opening his door and he's doing his job.
But he's opening his door and he's doing that one move where you're
trying not to hit the car, but you're trying to squeeze out.
Right.
And we've all done that.
I've done that.
I've done that, too.
But I've been very cautious doing that.
I'm just like, I'll suck in my gut even.
And I'm just like, you're so funny.
I try push my fucking ass in a little bit and I'm doing like a little
fucking snake maneuver, like trying to get the fuck out.
There's been times where I would even jump over to the passenger side.
And I knew there was more room and just in hopes that the person to the right
of me would fucking leave the store, the restaurant, the park, whatever,
the parking lot by the time I got out, I would have more room to get in.
I don't know.
But yeah, he's doing that.
He's trying to get out and it's like, why are you fucking 300 pounds?
I was just going to say, I'm like, was he at least able to maneuver his body?
But apparently not.
No, he tried for about a good five minutes.
Oh, Jesus fucking Christ.
Get in your car and fucking readjust.
Yeah.
And then he just eventually took off.
And I think he actually noticed that I was sitting in the fucking car.
You should have beeped your fucking horn.
You know what?
I turned on my heater.
Oh, OK.
Well, that would have like, yeah.
I was like, hey, he's in my fucking car.
Yeah, I was trying to be nice because typically
come on, it was what if I can just jump down and be like, what the fuck?
Like, right?
What? But, you know, I'm at work and I'm trying to be a standup citizen these days.
And I just sat there.
I just fucking stand up if you can't get out of your car properly.
Yeah.
Do I pull up?
Do I shut off my Candy Crush game so I can start recording?
Right.
Yeah.
Shit.
So speaking of when I worked in a zoo, the general manager there,
they all had because it was construction, they all had the company had
issued them all savvy, savvy Silverado's.
So he's X Marine.
I don't know.
His rank was corporal because he has the big Semperay or, you know, Semper.
Yeah. Semper.
Yeah, Semperify, um, plaque in his office.
And I'm like, oh, he's I'm like, no wonder I like it.
You're fucking X Marine.
But this motherfucker, I'm just like, how X Marine are you?
It's former Marine.
I don't even know.
It's court, but he's corporal.
So I don't know where that is on the on the ladder for.
It's pretty high.
It's like a E.
Oh, is it pretty?
Yes.
E67 probably.
Why does he not back into his parking spot?
Let's start there because all X Marines I know back into their
parking spot and this motherfucker always parks like too close to like the next fucking vehicle.
Like he doesn't like do it like exactly in the middle.
Like I'm like, you can't be a fucking corporal.
You know, like, do you like actually buy the corporal and just stick it on the plaque?
Like does he tap the horn twice when he's backing up?
No, he doesn't back up.
He he pulls in straightforward.
Oh, one of those.
OK. Yeah.
And I'm just like, I've only ever worked with X Marines that back into their parking spots.
And I always back into my parking spot just because it's fucking easier to do that.
My dad trained me.
He's like, you need to fucking back into your parking spot and like me.
OK, I can do that.
Yeah. But yeah.
So he doesn't back into his parking spot and he fucking parks like a fucking just like Lamo.
And I'm just like, I'm like that corporal.
I'm going to strip the corporal off of your fucking plaque one of these days.
I'm going to show up even though I don't work there anymore and take the corporal off.
If you don't learn how to park right.
Shit. Well, to all or any Marines listening,
don't be offended because it's actually former Marine.
You tell somebody X Marine, you're going to you're trying to start like, yeah.
Former Marine. Yeah. My bad.
Former Marine. Well, he can't park right.
So I'm going to say X Marine.
Oh, that's a low blow.
Damn. Just because you can't park right.
You get stripped of the former title.
That's right.
I'm going to take that corporal off your plaque, sir.
Oh, man.
Well, there's something that I would like to just throw out there that I come across.
And I thought it would be something interesting to discuss with my bestie.
OK.
So there's like, I don't know how new of a trend this is,
but I guess it's becoming a little bit more
acceptable and people are doing it a lot more.
I haven't really researched it, but it's a thing called a living funeral.
Have you heard of?
I have never heard of that.
So please educate me.
OK. Very interested. A living funeral.
Yeah. So yeah, this is so I don't know.
It's mine blowing for me.
And I've been just kind of debating it within myself.
Just I don't know.
So a living funeral is supposed to be the grandest celebration of your life with the twist.
You, the honoree, are living and you are present to hear the eulogies,
the praises, the farewells given before your death.
And it's usually when you're at a certain age or, you know, you know,
that I don't know, maybe whatever the situation is,
there's people out there that prefer a living funeral,
kind of like a pre funeral.
They want to be present and they want to hear all this shit.
What the actual fuck?
Yeah. No, seriously, seriously.
And I decided to just Google it, DTS it.
Please. And please.
When the when you are when you DTS it and I'm
who the and I shouldn't cut you off.
But I hope you're going to tell me a Gen Xer or some are not.
I'm Gen X. We're Gen X.
A Gen Zer fucking created this.
Like, is this like been is this brand new?
Because I have never heard of this.
This sounds really stupid.
Well, apparently it's not brand new, but the idea.
I don't know where it must have came from.
Maybe a Gen Z or some freaking.
Bozo like, obviously, I don't know.
But people have been opting to to do this.
And I looked up a couple of funeral homes and stuff,
and they actually host them.
They actually do these things.
What the fuck? Yeah. Yeah.
And if you don't go through a funeral home or
but you're going to have to book it because you obviously want.
Like a casket.
What would you like to be buried in?
Or if you don't, you don't have to.
You could. Isn't that what your will is for?
I don't. It's just in my understanding.
It's just to sit and hear what people would say or do.
And it's just kind of like a free.
Because when I don't know, I don't know.
I guess you could see me rolling my eyes right now.
Yeah, like they're out of my they're out of my socket.
Like what the fuck?
Like how about you stop being a fucking pussy that
to the people who want to do a living funeral?
Right. Why don't you stop being a pussy and walk up to your best friend?
Like Pomona bullets.
What would you what do you think about me as a person like right now?
Like why are you so scared to ask those people?
I guess that you want to have talk to you or.
This is just making me angry.
I need some tequila.
Yeah, it was pretty.
And there's also videos on YouTube of people
hosting these type of I guess events.
I don't want to say parties.
Some of them make them like parties.
OK, and I don't know.
I don't I don't understand.
I guess there's a plethora of things you could actually do.
Do you want to make it funny?
Do you want whatever?
And then there's some where they really ask.
They really ask.
So if you were invited, can you imagine I invite you?
I say, hey, Medusa, I'm going to have a living funeral.
My pre funeral, I'm in my fucking 70s and we're old and I just invite you.
And I want you to do my eulogy, but I'm going to sit there in the front row.
I'm going to judge you or I'm going to.
I don't understand it, but I guess you could make some spam and eggs
and we dropped it like it's hot in her kitchen first time out for sure.
That's it.
Yeah, goodbye.
I don't know.
I don't know what I think it's like.
What I think it's this whole like needy.
I don't know.
I don't.
Yeah, I was just going to say because they're seeking validation, right?
Because I would never do that.
I would never do a living.
I keep calling it living will.
I would never do a living funeral because I don't fucking care what other people.
And here's another thing.
Why do you care what people think about you?
You're going to be fucking dead anyway.
So what's that going to do?
Like, are you seeking?
I'm trying to figure out if they're like, I don't even know why I'm putting too
much thought in this.
Now I'm wasting my time.
I was doing the same thing right now.
I was doing the same thing and I was okay.
So they kind of busted my little bubble of imagination because I always thought
fuck when I die, I can't wait because I'm I always.
I'm not saying this is who knows, but my in my thought, I'm thinking I'm going to
be there.
I'm going to see I'm just going to be invisible.
I'm going to be there in spirit.
Right.
I'm going to be there in spirit.
I'm going to be able to fucking hear these people and be able to choose who I'm going
to haunt or fuck with before crossing over or whatever.
I'm right.
I just I built up this whole when I died, this is what's going to happen or
whatever.
I don't know.
But it just kind of it's kind of like somebody telling me there's no Santa
Claus because I'm like, what the fuck?
What is going on?
I really planned on hovering over everybody.
You know, and I also have planned to not be buried.
I want to be cremated and same.
So it's like, so this little living funeral party would not be ideal for me.
I can't.
I wouldn't be ideal for me either because after my dad died, even me and my
brother were I'm like, I don't want to fucking funeral.
Just cremate me.
Don't fucking tell anybody.
Like the only people I want at my funeral would be like immediate family and I don't
even want to fucking funeral or cremation, whatever.
Just fucking cremate me and then just whatever you want to do with the ashes,
fucking throw them in the trash.
I'm fucking dead.
Who cares?
Yeah.
Get over it, people.
It's like, who cares?
Yeah.
I live my fucking life.
You don't have to talk about me in front of everybody in a fucking church.
Please don't do that.
Yeah.
Because my wheels were spinning thinking about this crap and I'm so we're not
promised tomorrow.
Right.
So no.
So when is the appropriate time when the doctor says you have six months to
live when you're in, let's just say, okay, the average lifespan of an individual in
this era is 80 and I'm 75.
So let me throw a fucking living funeral party.
I'm like, you never know.
You never know.
So when is this going to take off to the point where you can just have a living
funeral party at the age of 15 at the age of 18, 20, 30, because you never know.
You never know where you're going to go.
Right.
So that's, I don't know.
It seems like it's a crazy thing.
I don't know.
I could be wrong since he said it's been around, but this is just reminds me of like
in the last maybe 10 to 15 years, I want to say that the stupid gender reveal parties
like who fucking thought of that a and b whoever thought about that is a genius because everybody
does that now and like the amount of money that's put into a gender reveal party.
It has to be fucking like sky high sky rocket higher.
However the fuck you say it.
I'm just like, it's a boy.
It's a girl.
And guess what?
I guess everybody's into these genders these days and I shouldn't say this, but there's
only two genders on that.
So what if the baby isn't doesn't identify as a boy or girl?
Yeah.
Like what are we going to do with that?
What's the color you guys are going to use and don't dictate the fucking green or I'm
sorry, green, blue or pink just because they're in your womb and let them choose for themselves.
Like, okay, well, we had little Sally, but now it's Sammy and we're going to delete the
gender reveal.
It's going to be too hard for them to accept.
They might actually hold it against the pair.
So there you go.
Wow.
Yeah.
So that was just my thought.
I just thought I would throw that.
Well, thank you for educating me.
I have never heard of living funeral and that sounds really stupid.
Well, do you know or have you heard, excuse me, when there was this, so I'm not online
as much as like you are connected as much, but there was something going around.
Oh gosh, I would maybe say 10 years ago where they were actually kind of, I, okay, please
forgive me, but this is the best way I can describe it is like, you know, when there's
a taxidermist and there's an hour or an eagle and they, oh yeah.
Okay.
So they were actually, there was a corner doctor, whatever you call them that made it
so they could do that to a human.
So I'm sure it's called serial killers.
They do that all the time.
But they were, there was this, and there was this video that was going viral where this
guy passes away, a young man, and it wasn't in our country, but the video of the whatever
it's called the party after they die or I don't know, but they had him posted, he had
a hat, sunglasses, and it's legit like weekend at Bernie's.
Yes.
Fucking hell.
Yes, people are doing this.
They will, if they could afford it.
Was that in the United States?
It came to the United States, the process, if you chose to, and you can literally set
the person up to sit in a chair and, but yeah, and just put on their favorite fedora or,
I don't fuck it up.
You know what the next step after that is it's called necrophilia.
Yeah.
I just, and there was this word that close people.
Yeah.
This, this one video that went viral was this, this kid was, or young man was in the corner.
They, they, I don't know, maybe leaning in the corner like a little man again.
I don't know.
And no disrespect, but it, they had him with his sunglasses and he had a, like a beer,
like a pack of cigarettes in his pocket.
And they just, they made it like he was there at his, I don't know, instead of being in a
coffin or laying on a, whatever they did.
And I don't know if it was a third world country or I don't know, but I would like to believe
that in a third world country, they didn't, they're not that advanced.
They're not that much more advanced than we are.
So I don't know how, I don't know if it was a hoax, but I did.
And like I said, I believe it must be 10 years plus ago that people do that.
They will involve you and kind of, well, you know, who the original person was that did
that was Norman Bates.
Fucking love me some psycho bitch.
Norman Bates is the original what?
Yeah.
There you go.
Scream.
Let me take this to a comedic, take a comedic turn to this.
Yes.
That's fucking creepy girl.
I know.
I'm like, I'm not going to fall down this rabbit hole, even though my wheels keep spinning,
but yeah.
So moving on.
Okay.
Can I say one more thing about, I guess, death then?
Oh yeah.
He brought it up.
1000.
Okay.
So when my dad died, because I'm in the room that he died in, he was in the, my mom found
him in the bed, right?
So he was fucking dead.
And like the entire fucking time I didn't freak out about it.
Like I was, I sat with him and I said, Hey, I'm going to take care of everything.
Don't worry about it.
And I guess I shouldn't say this because well, I'm not using their names, but my daughter
and my mom covered him up.
So she didn't have to see his fucking face.
I'm like, he's fucking dead.
Like just, he's fucking at peace.
My brother comes over, Marissa or M comes home from work because she was at work already
and I called her and I'm like, Hey, Papa died.
You need to come home.
I'm like, you guys need to hang out with Papa.
I know that sounds weird, but I'm like, can you guys just see him before the corner shows
up?
Like get this fucking shit out now.
Of course they don't.
They don't do that.
That set me off, but I had to hold it in.
The corner shows up and now they want to hang out with fucking my dad.
And I'm just like, now you're holding up the corner and the corner has to deal with this
all the fucking time.
So I'm just, I felt bad for him, but they did their thing.
But I was just like, it's just a fucking dead body.
Like his spirit left.
Like why is everybody freaked out about dead bodies?
Like I am so, I used to be freaked out like that.
Um, Pomona bullets, but I'm like, I am so, what's the word I'm looking for?
Desensitize because after my boy Freddie killed himself, I'm like, you know what?
I'm like, it's just a dead body now.
Like your spirit's gone.
Like who the fuck cares?
I know that's wrong to fucking say, but whatever, sorry.
I don't think it's wrong.
I think I guess it's the whole logistics process.
Well, and, and how it happened.
If it did, you know, your pops passed in his sleep or yeah, he passed in his.
Okay.
So that's like a, a why be scared like in his bed asleep.
I, I, but just segue back to what like your, your friend, yeah,
and my condolences, but that's, you know, when somebody literally takes it,
just I'm just going to say just out there, just random, a shotgun or this or
that, do you want to see brains and stuff?
No, but, but.
They're in a better place now.
Yeah.
So somebody has to identify or somebody has to do it.
So whether it's the mom, dad, whoever, somebody identified.
And then there's Pomona bullets who wants to haunt everybody,
which I fucking love you for.
Because you know what?
Now that when I die, I want to haunt everybody too.
I never thought about that.
Yeah, I do.
I want to be.
We can do it together.
Yes.
We're going to like hook up in the afterworld and we're just like,
I don't know what's happening, but I just like to believe that this is what's
going to happen and whether I need to haunt somebody or protect somebody.
That will be clinking.
Yeah.
You know what?
We're just going to be like auras of freaking.
Yeah.
And and fucking shit.
We're just.
Yeah.
There you go.
Everybody.
All right.
I didn't mean to take a dark turn, but thank you for.
Thank you for the comedic term.
Yeah.
I'm just going to say that.
Okay.
I guess the only other thing that I was going to say is we both agree.
About.
Propaganda.
Holiday.
And all that.
Do you agree with me?
I totally fucking agree.
And Hallmark holidays.
Yep.
That's proper.
That's that falls under propaganda as well.
Yep.
And I'm just going to say that.
I'm just going to say that.
Or whatever.
Right.
Yeah.
We were not going to go too deep into it, but.
So.
You remember when it was always father's day.
We would text each other.
Happy Father's Day.
Yes.
Okay.
Like, fuck it.
I'm being single moms.
Yeah.
So what did you do?
Did anybody try to invite you?
I'm not going to invite you.
Valentine's Day.
No, but you know what?
Because, you know,
I'm not romantic vanilla gorilla.
Text me.
He's like, happy Valentine's Day.
Can't wait to smash that tight pussy of yours.
Nice.
And I'm like, see those.
I'm like, oh, he's so romantic.
Yeah.
That's why I love you.
Oh my gosh.
I keep you around.
Yeah.
Exactly.
I'm just like, okay.
Well, you know what?
That's the kind of Valentine's Day a girl needs.
I'm like, I don't do the roses thing or whatever.
I'm not like that.
I would rather have like, can you buy me a beer?
Or I guess John Julio's having to.
Yeah.
Wait.
Yeah.
If you, if you love me that much, then, you know,
this is a day of love and stuff.
Yeah.
What about you?
I'm, no, so I, you know, I'm not big on it.
Right.
I do.
There is a little part of me when I'm at work and all these
bitches are getting.
Oh, did you have to decorate the office?
Yeah.
Oh, got it.
And I'm just like, and then all the girls are like,
and just florists constantly coming in and.
Yeah.
It's like, well, that, that's nice.
I wasn't hating.
I just was like, okay.
I mean, I hope your husband or boyfriend shows you and
appreciates you after today.
Right.
That's not for today.
No, I'm totally like that too.
It was just like, why?
We have to do it only today because the Hallmark fucking said so.
Yeah.
It was kind of, you know, whatevs.
I wasn't going to bring anybody down.
I was always just like, oh, you got flowers.
Like doing that whole little high pitched fucking happy voice.
Fake shit.
And.
Right.
But my, my son.
Said to me that he wanted to take me to the movies.
Oh,
I'm down for that when your kids want to do something.
Yeah.
It was, it was a little awkward, but I respected the fact that
maybe he thought.
Oh, you know, sometimes I'm going to step up to the plate and
I'm going to take my mom to the movies.
I had to work.
Where did you guys go see?
One love Bob Marley because I got to pick.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, you know what?
What a true gentleman.
You raised him right.
Yeah.
I was so proud because every.
I will, I'm going to admit every time I've gone to the movies with
my children, it was something they wanted to see.
Yes.
Of course.
Sometimes they would say, we want to see.
Fucking.
You know,
Paw Patrol or whatever, whatever it is.
And it's like, oh my God.
And I would always kind of convince them.
Are you sure you don't want to see this one?
I always try to, to make them pick something I could stomach.
And then I just gave up and I just started calling movie night
with the kids at the theater.
The most expensive nap I've ever.
Oh, I would do that too.
Yeah.
I'm just like, okay.
And yeah,
but when the kids caught on that, oh, well,
I snore too.
So.
At least they're enjoying themselves.
Like, yeah, so what I'm snoring,
watch the fucking movie.
They would always push me.
I'm like, oh, oh yeah, I saw that.
Yeah, it's great.
So funny.
So great.
It put me to sleep.
Yeah.
I'll be done yet.
Yeah.
I was like, how much longer?
You guys want to leave early, beat the crowd?
They're like, we're the only ones in here.
Like, oh, wow.
I don't know.
But yeah, so we went and I was able to pick.
Whatever I wanted.
Didn't have many options in my town.
And stuff.
I was going to say,
I don't even know what the movies are out.
What movies are out,
but I know that I did see a preview for that.
So how was it?
It was pretty good.
I.
It was good because I love, I respect Bob Marley as a kid.
I love Bob Marley as a kid.
And I'm happy that I got to see him.
I love Bob Marley as a kid.
Because I love, I respect Bob Marley as a artist.
Yes.
As everything that he's done, just everything.
I love his music.
He's great.
But the fact that I've watched so many documentaries,
like real documentaries on him and everything.
The whole Hollywood,
one love thing was just like a sector of his life.
And it was just kind of like,
my money went. I hope it goes to something I don't know. Not I don't know. But it was good.
It was okay. But I wouldn't recommend it. I wouldn't say run out and see. Wait for it to stream I
guess. Yeah for sure. And you probably wouldn't want to watch it all the way. It's just a sad girl
of sleep. The last 10 minutes and my son my son elbows me and says mom and he looks at his phone.
We only have 12 more minutes before the movie's over. Don't fall asleep. I said oh okay. God I love
your son. Okay I got it. 12 minutes. You're like I have to go to work in the morning bitch. Yeah and
I was like let me use the restroom. Excuse me. You know let me kill six more minutes. Right.
Come back. Meet me at the car. Yeah I'm gonna go warm up the car. It's only 12 minutes.
No but it was it was nice. It was nice. Okay well good. I'm glad you were able to hang out
with your son and that he thought about you. Yeah but you just hear Bob Marley and I was like
it would be nice like to watch Bob Marley like with the little Bob Marley in me you know just a
little smokey. Right. But you know that's just something that you just think. And now that
you're now that you brought the movie up I don't think there's ever been a Hollywood made Bob Marley
movie before. I can't believe they haven't or maybe there has been I don't know but I can't believe
it's been like this long before a Bob Marley movies came out. Yeah no there's never been a Hollywood
or whatever. There's never been a Hollywood made movie. Huh. Yeah that's crazy. Yeah it was pretty
crazy and in the very beginning of the movie his son is saying how much they respect the director.
They they approve of the movie and it's truthfulness. How much did they pay him to say that though.
I don't know. And I'm like which mother were you from. Right. I will say that for a certain price.
Yeah. Yeah. So yeah but the time spent with my son was the was the best part of it. But I'm glad.
I think it was pretty cool. So yeah. So I think we're running long but we're talking about Hollywood
really quick. I was on Yahoo News because that's what shows up on my news feed and fucking JLo.
There's two things about JLo. So the first thing is JLo had a war I guess she was on the
day show from what I read and she said she doesn't have a problem I guess with I guess
whatever the fuck. She's like but if you approach my man and you try and hook up with him now I'm
going to throw hands and I'm like wait Ben. Yes I'm like you're married to the most boringest person
ever. Like who's she married to. Ben Affleck and I'm like he doesn't look like I put his
fucking at a 3.75 and that's like on a good day and I'm talking about on a scale of one to 10
not one to five one to 10 I put him on a good day 3.75. So I'm like hey nobody fucking wants your man
like other than I guess Jennifer Garner. What. Oh. What are you talking about like
she's so delusional. Wait I thought see I've been living under a rock I thought she was with Mark
Anthony and she was she had kids so go ahead I'm sorry remind me about Mark Anthony afterwards.
Well I thought she moved on I knew she dated Ben it was Jen and or the benefit or whatever and I
thought they separated and she moved on she actually went back and married Ben. Yeah and she
has more Super Bowl rings than the Dallas Cowboys. She has more rings than the Dallas Cowboys according
to that meme that I sent you. Yeah. Yeah they got married I guess they got back together after Arod
Broker Hart for the 1800 time. Wait hooking up in some girls DMs or whatever but I'm like
isn't Arod like me and Darcy Darcy is like I thought Jaila was the beard in that relationship.
I'm like you know what so did I. They got married I want to say like in 2021. Oh my goodness. Yeah
so I'm like oh they actually lasted longer than I thought I guess according to Hollywood standards
they're still married. I don't know whatever. Well congrats I guess I can't say congrats to the
newlyweds. Congrats from the gal who doesn't fucking know what's going on with Hollywood.
I was just like I guess people girls want to hook up with Ben Affleck. I'm like what the fuck.
Yeah. To Lulu. Must be his character his sense of humor. Oh okay.
All right I guess we should wrap this up. I'm sorry I didn't mean to drag it on but
do you have any parting words for the listeners Miss Pomona. I just appreciate every single one
of you that take the time out of your day to spend a little time with us. Much love. Appreciate it.
You're supposed to say one love because you watched Bob Marley. One love. Rasta farra.
It's good that you go. And I, but Brooke Medusa, appreciate every one of you as well and I wish
you all a good week. Yes. And on that note we are out. Peace. Peace.