Alright, are you happy or sad? Which way? Oh, I guess... Oh, you're happy! And you are?
Come on, a bullet. I guess I'm happy. Oh, I'm always happy, bitch! I am Baroque Medusa.
This is Top Shelf Hi-Jinks and we clean clinking, bitches!
Good fucking morning.
Afternoon, bitch!
Good afternoon, Buster!
Oh my goodness!
Really quick, it rained here yesterday, so Mount Baldy's packed, but how are you dealing with...
How's it going with the state of emergency in Oregon?
So, the state of emergency, I think it was really geared towards the lack of residents having electricity going on five days plus.
Oh, shit!
Yeah. Yeah, we had a huge ice storm, like I mentioned in our last episode, and it's been brutal. It's been very, very brutal.
I've been here for seven years. I've never experienced anything like this.
I mean, it's been pretty bad coming from Southern Kelly and then experiencing this weather, just the rain and snow alone or even anything below 50 degrees.
Right.
But, yeah, it was really, really brutal and longtime residents here are just saying, yeah, this is crazy.
So, it's still with the ice storms then? Because the power outage or?
Not in my area, so I guess I'm considered the valley.
Okay.
So, it's not necessarily so bad in my area, but, yeah, more north towards Washington, like the Portland area and everything.
Yeah, yeah, it's pretty bad, but the ice, the freezing rain has stopped.
Good.
For some weird reason, it went from 16 degrees to the high 40s.
So, it started melting the ice, but still everybody's slipping and sliding and it's crazy.
And you went to, did you go to work all week or was like work canceled or whatever with the ice?
No, I actually didn't go on Wednesday because when I tried to pull out of my driveway, and you know my driveway isn't inclined too much.
It's just right.
Slight.
Yeah.
So, I put the Jeep in reverse, didn't even push on the gas or anything and it just started sliding.
Oh, no.
No, no, I'm good. I'm good. And yeah.
Oh my God. Did you end up in the street or what happened?
Yeah, I ended up in the street.
And I was going to continue to go forward.
No.
But I just figured, you know, Pomona bullets to stay home.
Yeah.
Just stay home.
Fuck man. Save yourself some car insurance because your car would have slid into something or somebody.
Oh, so that's the thing. The other day my son was looking out the window and he's like, mom, look, look, look, look, look.
I run over to the spare bedroom. We're looking out the window where it faces the street.
One of our neighbors is trying to pull out of the driveway and they're going slow.
Just or maybe they weren't pulling out.
Maybe they were just sliding like I was.
They were trying to go down the street and they just spun out of control and you know,
cars in my street.
Straight smashed into a car.
Oh, shit.
Yeah, it was, it was bad.
It was bad.
I'm glad you stayed home.
I'm glad you didn't make it out of your driveway because that could have been you.
Oh, yeah.
But I'm thinking I got a G four wheel drive.
I got snow mode.
Ice mode.
Right.
So is there still ice on in your area though?
No, actually a lot of it melted.
Thank God.
It's a lot of just slush, which is slush isn't too bad.
It's not drivable. It's drivable. It's drivable, but you still have to be cautious.
Right.
And you had, I'm glad you have power.
Oh, shit.
I was just knocking on wood.
Please no.
So did the electric company or I guess, yeah, I guess your electric company.
Did they say when they, they estimate to have the power up for the other cities?
Well, there was 120,000 without.
Yeah. Yeah.
But now it's down to like 30,000.
So they're trying.
Well, they're okay.
Shit. Okay.
But the main thing is it's just all the trees that fall over.
Right.
And so they can't down power lines.
Yeah.
Fuck man. Okay.
Yeah.
So what's the high today?
We are well in my neck of the woods.
We're at 37 right now.
Okay. Well, that's better than fucking 16.
Yeah.
Not too bad.
Not too shabby.
I'll take it.
Speaking of Jeeps.
You know what the Mercedes G wagon is?
I've seen it.
Do you think that's the fucking shit or the tips?
Everybody fucking loves that goddamn fucking thing.
I think it's overrated.
It looks like a fill the Philippines Jeep knee.
And I'm like, why do people want this three?
I want to say it's like $100,000 plus car.
And I'm like, why?
I don't understand the allure or why people want to own this fucking piece of shit.
Well, Southern Kelly people because I mean,
we were buying Hummers and all that shit, the H2 and all that.
Oh, okay. Yeah.
Well, you're right.
Oregon wouldn't want that.
Yeah.
I mean, maybe in Kelly you might. I mean, you just like one of them.
I just don't understand everybody loving the G wagon.
I'm like, not me.
Well, have you seen those Jeep trucks?
Yes. And I don't, I don't know.
I would probably buy that before the G wagon, but I'm not a fan of that either.
Yeah. I've got really a fan of that either.
I mean, I don't know.
I don't know.
But my popsies always say, because I, I leased a Hummer when I was living.
I remember you told me.
Yeah.
And I was like, what the hell?
Hummers belong in the battlefield.
Well, not this fiberglass one.
This one, the battlefield is called Pomona.
Yeah.
And it's whole boulevard.
Okay.
I got two 15s in this bitch.
Right.
15 ounces.
All bad.
Yeah.
But no, but for the most part, we're doing okay.
We're doing all right.
Okay. Yeah. Sorry.
I didn't mean to like beer off course.
Oh no, no worries.
That's, that's what we do.
That's what we do best.
So, um, Lowe's, they didn't lose power.
I guess obviously because you went to work all week except Wednesday.
Yeah.
I asked, I asked when I got to work the next day.
I said, is there a, um,
a, like a weather line in case we shut down or something.
And everybody started laughing at me.
Like if I had a monkey on my fucking head or some shit.
There was a, there was a,
there was a,
there was a monkey on my head.
And I said,
are you serious?
And I said, yeah, is there like, you know,
an inclement weather? Like, are, are, are we going to shut down?
They were like, Lowe's never shuts their doors.
Except for Christmas, I guess.
Yeah.
Except for Christmas in Easter.
Easter.
Except for the bunny rabbit and Santa.
Like I, uh, okay.
So we never shut our doors yet.
When I went to work, um,
out of 122 employees scheduled to work a certain day,
the day that I didn't go due to inclement weather.
Um,
17 employees showed up,
but everybody else stayed home.
Yeah.
Well,
also they had to shut down then.
No.
No, they didn't.
They ran the entire fucking Lowe's with 17 fucking people.
They sure did.
just did the the front end. Jesus fucking Christ Loes you guys got to readjust your fucking game plan.
They were like people had pipes busting which is true which is very very true if you do not
keep your water and your faucets in the bathroom or what not if you have a two-story house you
if it's freezing weather um temps excuse me you do need to drip your faucet all that did not know
that and yeah it it helps prevent the pipes from freezing and busting and causing a huge flood and a
huge mess i did not know that that makes so much sense though so does it matter if you're running
hot or cold water um you should run hot water warm yeah okay that makes sense yeah wow i never
thought about that yeah holy shit yeah i i i never thought about it either but um when i was renting
the duplex when i very first moved here the landlord would always send me a email saying you need to
run the water run the water i was like fuck that are you you're not paying my water bill bitch
right i ran that shit all night oh wow okay well good to know shit yeah yeah it's crazy
and then they said you don't have to do it in the daytime because people are constantly
flushing the toilet it's just a lot of activity going on whether it's cold or not so okay so
just that night when you go to bed yeah you just don't want them to freeze or you can just start
taking meth and be up all night and then just going to the bathroom i guess i don't know
shit i was just like i don't even know i have these little um okay i'm trying to learn all
the terminology still but i have these little insulators that go on the water spickets so it's
basically the thing that you would screw your hose in when you're going to wash your car that
spicket that little water thing yeah they have to be housed with these little insulation
with the faucet yeah wow yeah yeah okay i know i'm such a city slacker like i don't know oh i need
that sure okay let's do this but did you do that before you started working at loz or you
you've always done that since you moved up there um i had some neighbors tell me i needed to do that
and they would give me some spare water spicket little covers oh i was just like okay that's
what i'd have been like all right yeah i never went out and and bought any when i bought my house
i never got it okay well i'm sure you can get them now yeah now i have them everywhere just yeah
yeah ready to go yeah ready to go please don't freeze i i just hear major horror stories of
people's pipes busting and freezing and yeah i don't i don't want to be in that boat please no
no it's damn so the plumbers are like on full alert too i guess oh yeah yeah it's a really
fucking state of emergency fuck you organ it's pretty bad but it's beautiful in the spring yeah
when the nutrient the fucking rattlesnakes are hanging out in your backyard if you want to call
it that and the wolf spiders oh the little spiders the wolf the wolf there you go speaking of wildlife
pomonas bullets it was i think it was thursday night i'm here's like i normally hear like birds
chirping or whatever right or the cats are in heat the the feral cats that are in the area right so
i hear i don't know what it sounded like it sounded like it wasn't mice but you i heard something it
wasn't a god damn it wasn't the cats in heat i take finway out for a four-a-am walk bitch why the
fuck was there two skunks fucking in the middle of the fucking street making that noise i'm like
oh that was skunks last night gross but you know like a cat noise yeah but it was skunks so you
remember the cartoon with pepe lapio and he's always fucking raping the other skunk yeah the cat that
was a cat i was a cat okay that is legit because the male skunk the the girl skunk kept trying to
run away and he's like after her and he's stuck in her and he's like no bitch you're fucking staying
here and i'm just like i was telling my daughter i'm like if they weren't fucking skunks i swear to
god i would break that shit up i'm like boy i fucking hate skunks there's so many in my area
and i'm like you guys don't do anything other than fucking spray like you do not contribute to the
ecosystem whatsoever don't they eat do they eat mice are the carnivores no that's what we have
feral cats for the feral cats can fucking eat that shit i'm like coyotes don't even eat skunks
because they're fucking skunks and i'm just like these bitches need to fucking die i'm like let's
stop procreating and stop raping oh my god and fenway's barking i'm like no we're not doing that
today because i'm not getting sprayed speaking of the topic so with the icy conditions here i've
noticed um a lot of uh neighbors or people in my town are taking their horses out to go to the store
or what are they slipping and sliding i don't know if they have certain something on the what is it
called the hooves or oh maybe they do yeah maybe they don't know but obviously these horses can trek
through weather better than a stupid car um and and so be it that that's great i don't know right
but so it's like wow and i was thinking to myself shit i remember i rode a horse once um so my
question to you is have you how close are you to like horses have you ever swam with dolphins are
you one of the have you ever i have no i've never swam with dolphins but dolphins like to
fucking rape humans too man i saw that youtube video yes and i was right that i just saw one
like the other day and he was all up in the girl snatch and i'm like hey calm down okay so you never
swam with dolphins no i i want to see i and horses no i've never i guess ridden a horse either no
no not no okay um wow well that's have you how about i'm very city like i guess so how about
back in the day at the county fair when they would you could ride an elephant when you're a kid or
even an adult girl we were poor my mom and dad never took me to the fucking fair the first time
that we me and my brother went to the fair it obviously separately was for school um the school
like what's it called on a field trip yeah yeah that was it oh so so i've had a horse i like i've
had a horse i've fed horses um carrots but that's about it have you ever been like snorkeling with
sea turtles or snorkeling yes once with uh in hawaii with marisa um but i didn't really go like
too deep into the water i want to say okay so she she went more deeper or whatever so it's just like
whatever i get weirded out with the snorkeling because it's rental gear yeah i should have bought
the shit and i'm like you guys didn't fucking sanitize this yeah so i just grossed out the
entire fucking time i'm like somebody else how many other people's mouths have been on the
snorkel fucking breathing apparatus so i'm just like when i went to mali this past november i'm
like nope not snorkeling no okay okay so you never you've never you never indulged in no
i grossed out the entire fucking time what about you i'm sure you snorkeled oh yeah yeah i i've
snorkeled um this but this last time i went to hawaii um i was a little tipsy on the yacht and then
okay um when i got all the snorkel gear and the you know the fins or whatever they call it for your
feet and all that i think they're fins yeah i i went to the lily pad because there's a lily pad
out there you know that do you know what that is it's like that yeah so you can get into the water
yeah yeah i went out there i did not feel good um you're seasick or well i just i don't know i just
wasn't feeling it i think i was hung over from the night before and then oh i don't know and i got some
salt water in my snorkel i was swimming out to turtle beach or um i was supposed to see a bunch
of sea turtles and all this and that and i just like yeah i started like throwing up and shit and i
had to go throw up in the snorkel gear and eat well i took it out and i just threw up in the
fucking ocean and then i was like that's like it's probably like probably like chomped to sharks
or something i don't know it's just i you're like oh yeah i and i'm a good swimmer so i swim like
immediately back well that's because your dad let you like just be drifting off in the ocean and
seal beach like i did marissa back in the day yeah you know what i i'm good i was if you just gave me
the surfboard i'll get i'll get i'll get back to the bay so quick but it was just this and then
they want you to wear this little life jacket or you have a little straw you're supposed to blow it
up oh yeah and and then you got to put your little fist up in the air if you need help but i don't
know it was just too much i was like this is just too much i just want to see the turtle yeah i was
like i just wanted to see some coral some fucking turtles but you know i'm obviously throwing up and
i just need to go back that was the best five hundred dollars i ever spent
throw up into the pacific yeah and then uh a horse i yeah i tried to go horseback riding but
oh man no you weren't it wasn't good no i i'm not i'm not a cowgirl like i just i can't do this
like oh yeah i'm not you know what i didn't even think about that because i'm not really coordinated
so that probably wouldn't work well for me either i'd probably fall off and be paralyzed like christopher
wreath yeah it's just so bad they're like we're gonna i was um at my dad's house in um mexico and
we were like to loom and we were gonna take these horses and you're gonna have this horse
back ride on the beach and yeah how old were you uh i think i was about 19 okay yeah not good
i just i can't i don't know the horse didn't want to listen to me i don't know there did you take
lessons before you got no okay well i don't know the horse and just go and yeah it was it was it
wasn't a delightful experience to say the least i just wanted to get off with the fucking horse
and um i did uh have a so how long how long were you on it for then uh maybe 20 minutes okay yeah
yeah and then i was like i'm just gonna get off this horse and walk it back to like the starting
point because i wouldn't even be able to get off the fucking horse i'm like can somebody get a ladder
please well my horse wanted to keep going in the water and i was like that's the beach like how the
fuck is the horse gonna go in the ocean and drown you yeah i was like no no no no horse eight this way
and i don't know i guess i was steering him towards the ocean instead of steering him away i i don't
know i don't know it was just a bad experience it was bad did your dad still have the house out there
no he sold it thank god oh okay well it was just like a big thing because there's a lot of political
shit going down and then oh got it and then like he had a beautiful house in toloom and or it was
a house i'm sorry it was a condo um and it was nice but sometimes you know tourists just don't
belong in certain places like you just don't just you've got it so how long did he have the house
down there for uh about 14 years oh wow yeah i bet he sold that for a pretty penny then i probably
i don't have the record to mexico's real estate
shit but yeah i i mean i did swim with dolphins i i swam with sharks um in a cage no no no no no
when i was you're like no i'm not a pussy i'm not when i when i was in hawaii i had we took all the
boats out and then we had to drop nets and then it was like a passage way to um oh yeah i mean
they weren't like great whites or anything like that or bull sharks it was but a shark is a shark
i don't know like uh so scary if you don't if you make it back to the shore then you're like deemed
um like worthy to be no worthy to be a part of this planet oh god it
that's crazy i did ride a camel where um
no at the fair oh i'm like where the fuck would you ride a camel at no it was like
yeah it was poor thing now that i look back at it as a kid i was like yeah camel but right poor thing
yeah just like um i used to take m2 um seaworld um when she was younger i took her like
maybe three times at the most but you think about it i'm like those fucking great great whales what
are they great uh i'm talking about yeah like shamu yeah shamu it was just like i want to say one
of them not in san diego but recently there was one that i guess like totally mauled and killed
that fucking trainer i'm like well yeah that's because they're not in their fucking natural
environment they're in a fucking pool yeah yeah exactly did you ever see that documentary is called
like blackfish or something no i wanted to watch it but it was probably just i knew i was gonna get
pissed off it was yeah it's so sad it's like i'm like i understand they're like i don't understand
seaworld because that's a fucking attraction i understand the zoo aspect like the la zoo but
it's still sad that they're in clothes and they're not in their natural environment yeah so whatever
i don't know i don't know have you been to the san diego zoo i remember when we first came down
from canada we went to the like the wild animal park i want to say yeah there's like and i just
remember the fucking tortoise was fucking huge like my mom probably still has the picture somewhere
her 1800 photo albums that she possesses but this thing was fucking huge and i'm like this has been
around since the ice age like it was that fucking huge tortoises are fucking crazy oh yeah yeah they
live like for like 200 plus years yeah damn off of fucking cabbage and carrots or whatever the
fuck they eat uh i like i like turtles it's fine uh i don't know the whole thing with like zoos
i've never been i remember there was um oh shit fuck it was years ago where um the barnum and
bailey circus came to bonas oh yeah i remember they used to come like to town like once a year
or whatever like that i want to say yeah i forgot about that there was this big protest i was trying
to take the kids it's like oh the circus um because my pops used to always say this little this little
pun thing where he said it all started when my father never took me to the circus
he was
yeah it's hilarious he's like he used to say that and as a kid growing up everything like oh
man so that's how you became so fucked up like
grab what i'm talking about circus oh and so so so i'm trying to take the kids to the circus and
there's this big protest where oh about the animals yeah you can't and people were it was almost
like trying to go to a abortion clinic oh my god the analogy you fucking just did it was like can't
i'm going five miles and i'm just trying to park and just trying to park that's it you're like can
you protest tomorrow when i'm not here can you protest and on the sidewalk like the normal protesters
right um don't egg my fucking car when i walk in stop it with your sign
so with your dad saying of it all started with when my dad didn't take me to the circus yeah
growing up for you what would your saying be to your kids about like how you were raised or like
that type of saying huh that's interesting um i never thought about it i just at the top of my
head i would say it all started when your mom just like it all started when my parents decided they
were for each other that's where it all started it all started then what about yours well the one
that i like to remind my mom i haven't reminded her lately was mom it all started at the age of three
and a half when you decided to call the cops on me i fucking told you i was gonna walk to the goddamn
store and i'll be back and then you fucking call the cops on me my dad comes home i get this living
shit beat out of me because i told the fucking truth and so that's why i am the way i am today
thank you very much mom i thought somebody kidnapped you well clearly you don't understand
you're raising a capricorn daughter and she's half austrian so that's a double negative right there
i i tried to we'll see my dad my dad i am the cops i'm yeah i know i know so i never was worried
we're like we're calling the cops just like oh my dad i have his like direct number like
a speed dial bitch it's not 911 i i was i think i was four years old and i had a tricycle um
and i was gonna run away i i i had enough i had enough my brother tried to run away too one time
and he had a suitcase i remember because my mom fucking tells the story all the time
he took a suitcase he took his whatever i was gi joe doll and he made it all the way down to the
end of the street and then he walked back home and i'm like oh plus my brother i fucking love my
brother i'm like how cute is that i did the same thing i packed like four oranges
you like bitch you just forgot the vodka yeah i'm not here i put four oranges in a paper bag
and i think i put oh i had like one of those magic nursery dolls okay i had one of those
and yeah i was out i i really thought that i was i don't know i don't even know what i wasn't even
thinking uh four years old who knows it took my so you went you made it down the street too and
then you changed your mind or yeah i made it down the street and then i just kind of i ate two oranges
already i fucking love you bitch and i'm like talking to my friends and shit just like hey yeah
oh they were running away with you yeah and they're no no but they would get on the back of my
tricycle and use it like a little oh god it got it got it yeah and i was just like yeah i don't
know where i'm gonna sleep like i didn't even think about blankets or you know a pillow or nothing like
that so i just went back home and you know the funny thing is nobody even knew i was fucking gone
you know what that really sucks i'm sad i want to give you a hug
the only person that would know that i'm ever gone would be my fucking dog
everybody else will be like fuck that bitch who
yeah
yeah i was just like geez and they're like kind of dovetail off of this so i get my gas bill
and it's like holy fuck why is it so much it's it's it's a pretty it's a shiny pen
it's a shiny and i get it it's been icy all right i'm keeping my heater and the thermostat
at 68 degrees even though it's really cold but you know it is what it is 68 should be a comfy temp
um oh that's too hot for me well when my mom fucking hates it when my mom likes it
my mom likes 68 i'm like bitch it needs to be 62 i'm like i'm fucking dying well don't get me wrong
because it was like 16 degrees here and i would crack my window and just let a little bit of cold
air come in but right being that the house is too story and all these rooms and shit oh well yeah
it's probably colder because it's too um story yeah i was like uh so i left it at 68 i'm just like
wow this bill is yeah fucking huge and drop it at least to 66 that'll help i did i did and i was
thinking i i was using my gas fireplace a little bit more than usual as well hmm and i was like
maybe that shit is taking up more gas i don't i don't even know granted i'm gonna pay my damn bills
but right but still wow were you okay so i'm gonna ask you were you ever in any way shape or form
younger in your younger days a pyro did were you ever intrigued with fire yeah uh not really
i assume you are since you're asking me or no i i never was i i remember specifically that my
sisters and i were going to um seeing christmas carols to my mom and my dad when uh christmas eve
and we got these candles those candles they're like the big long candles that you would have
like a candle lit dinner with okay yeah okay and we lit those and we were each going to have one
and we were going to go through the living room all the way to my parents room and we were going
to sing like christmas they're whatever i don't yeah i guess i don't know whatever the fuck we thought
and we lit we lit these candles and the wax was just dripping down them and so we got uh tissue
from like the cleanest tissues and we were holding the bottom of the candle at the
Kleenex and my younger sister was trying to wipe the wax with the candle but she's right
behind my older sister and she lights my older sisters here on fire and then oh shit and then my sister
starts like and i'm trying to wipe the wax off my candle and i go way too high and i light the
tissue on fire and i drop it oh Jesus christ and it was just like a disaster well your dad's a
fucking cop i'm sure he put the fire out real fucking quickly oh he was just like oh shit my mom
runs out of the room and she's like oh my gosh and honestly the minute that happened and i saw
shit just going on flames i uh ran out the front door um you're like it wasn't me i was legit i was
ready to just book it and just look back at the burnt down house and she's like i'm so sorry
but my dad grabs me he's like where do you think you're going and i just said to get the hose
i wasn't i was lies i know lies but my dad's like smart smart pomonas doesn't get in trouble
because she used her brain i was like ah if he only knew i was like ouch i was out way to go
pomonas you dodged a bullet i was like yeah i was i was gonna dad no i was gonna get the
damn you taught me better than that i'm four years old i was gonna get the hose it's like i try to
run away but i had to change the heart so now i'm gonna light the house on fire even better
fuck this family yeah i'm starting over you know what my oh i don't even go there but yeah yeah
yeah what you said hello i was getting the hose and i'm sticking to it there you go
yeah yeah i remember the time i told my brother that he was adopted did he believe you well i don't
know i guess i was convincing and i told him before because we were lack obviously you were
latchkey kids yeah right so you yeah so i don't know i guess i brainwashed him into thinking he was
adopted we were still in elementary and i'm like hey you can't tell now my mom or or you can't tell
our mom or dad because they don't want you to know and i'll get in trouble and of course he
fucking goes and tells am i adopted is that what you don't love me and of course i got
fucking beat and i'm like well it was worth it so growing up with just you and your bro uh so you
guys had separate bedrooms right yeah there was a time i want to say maybe for like maybe two years
that we we shared a bedroom because my dad my dad's office i guess um the second or whatever
my bedroom or whoever's bedroom was going to be um it was his office and then i guess we both got older
obviously when you get older you can't be in the same fucking room right so then we had our own
rooms but i don't know how long that lasted it wasn't that that long a time but we we had our
we shared a bedroom at one time was it was it bunk beds no oh shit did you ever want
bunk beds we had bunk beds but they were never put together as bunk beds i don't know yeah yeah i'm
assuming you had bunk beds then because you had three sisters oh fuck yeah i had bunk beds i i i
hated it i hated it because i top bunk is ridiculous trying to get up and down fuck that
shit i always wanted the top bunk um and you always so you always ended or they always gave you the
the bottom one then yeah and i used to convince my younger sister of the princess the baby of the
family she got the top but she wants to top them like but what if she rolls off you know
we're only a year apart go down and it didn't matter she gets the top and i used to tell her you know
southern california has many earthquakes and so when the ceiling falls on you
you unlock bed yeah don't come on my bed like
don't crawl off don't climb down the ladder and come on my bed and she would get so scared
that's hilarious and and where was your older sister then she just had her own bed no she
also was with my other older sister and they had to share a room so oh got it okay yeah but they
had to share a full-size bed so yeah i'd rather have bunk beds i think yeah but i was always on
the bottom bed and i hated it and i it was everybody will let's make a tent and we would put sheets
and blankets and yes the bottom of our fort yeah i don't know me and my brother called it a fort i
want to say yeah and it was like well someone's gonna help me make my fucking bed because
that is gonna kick my ass if the bed's not made and everybody's on my bed and using my sheets
and blankets and so i decided to have this well i came up with this wonderful idea we were gonna get
all the pillows from the entire house as many pillows as we could and we put it on the floor
and we would jump off the top bunk bed onto the pillows okay oh it seems so like it was just whoa
but we're tiny and we would do that um and if i anytime anybody got hurt it was my fault and
how's it my fault sounds about right how's it my fault right um and these bunk beds that we had
they were those old school wooden ones oh that's what we had yeah it was like wooden and the ladder
actually just kind of latched onto the top it had like a little okay and it latched yeah and if my
sisters and i would fight i would i would climb up i would climb on the top of the bunk bed and
they would try to climb after me oh you'd unlatch yeah oh you're so smart and they would just
bang i'm like bye bitch i'm by myself now it just seems so much more dramatic
being young but now as an adult i like i'm like oh that that's nothing
right so i like that you just climb up on the side yeah this is when i watched cliffhanger
it's like you're going down it's going down bitch are you watching the game right now i am
um fucking Detroit finally scored i'm like come on bro like you're overthrowing your
fucking arm i don't know what was going on but they finally fucking drove it in shit
i know i cannot believe i didn't watch the green bay game last night but i cannot believe they
fucking lost well it was a it was a very very close game it was like tooth and nail back and
right which um i didn't want to watch it but it was like a train wreck and i had to but i just
can't believe they fucking lost i can't either i'm gonna watch um obviously i'm bill's mafia today
fuck yeah and speaking of Kansas City so you know how washington redskins changed their name to
washington commanders i guess right and that's all because of they were originally the redskins and
i guess that's not i guess appropriate because so why is Kansas City chiefs still the fucking chiefs
why didn't they fucking get to change their name oh you get hello you're getting deep now i'm just
like i thought about that the other day i'm like why are they still the fucking chiefs why didn't
anybody do an uproar about the fucking Kansas City game or Kansas City whatever the fuck well maybe
because their stupid logo is like an arrow head whatever the cheese is not a Native American tribe
whatever i was just like you guys need to if you're gonna guys gonna do this you need to do it across
the board not just for a single fucking team for sure but i don't know the reasoning either i'm
assuming of because it was it was not like a politically correct i don't know what the proper
term yeah it it was the same thing there's no more aunt chamayma there's no more uncle Ben's
there's no more none of that like you it's all yeah it's not politically uh respectful towards
yeah that's a politically respectful Cleveland um the Cleveland Indians for baseball they changed
their name too and i was watching i was watching fucking baseball this past season and i'm like
who the fuck is this fucking team like are they a brand new team what did they think i look them up
and i'm like oh they changed their name from the Indians to whatever the fuck they are i'm like god
damn it okay whatever i don't know so the Texans just want to be called the Texans then
yeah i guess do you expect anything less from Texas well i don't know but i yeah right i think i
want to move there for tax purposes and the food and the barbecue oh i will eat their barbecue
all the fuck day long let's go bitch yeah for sure i've never been a texas i went in high school i did
like the field trip thing and we went i was on the street that jfk was fucking shot on they did
like the the field tour or whatever the i guess field field trip yeah that thing was fucking
eerie as fuck and i'm like oh this is just definitely i don't even know why we're on this
fucking field trip what yeah it was kind of it was really eerie i would like to go again as an adult
just so i could take it all in yeah but i'm assuming not everything can't be the same as it was i guess
when it actually happened back in the 60s like i'm sure like the landscape and the fucking like the
buildings and all that has i hope it has changed shit i don't know damn i didn't even know wow texas
hmm so i'm looking at my notes i've actually wrote notes for today oh nice i haven't been
done that lately i know so um no doubt is back on tour i guess my daughter loves no doubt i like no
doubt up to fucking um their best album is the album before their they fucking got popular everything
else is whatever yeah it's not trash but it's trash to me um so they're they all got back together
for i guess the cochella right so my daughter's like oh my god they're getting back together blah
blah blah she wants to go i i send her a picture like um Gwen Stefani did a goddamn what's it called
i guess a group chat or a group video whatever the far zoom i guess with the band members and i
sent i screenshot it i sent it to my daughter she's like damn tony still looks good tony cannell yeah
and i'm like yeah her ex-boyfriend and i'm like yeah ex-boyfriend i'm like that's because he's the
only non-white person in the fucking group bitch come on and she's like oh yeah you're right i'm like
he's indian hello of course he looks good he's not fucking aged at all for show really i haven't
you know he looks pretty i'm like you can tell he's aged but i'm like clearly since he has melanin
in him he's aged well oh yeah so they're they're gonna reunite for cochella yeah that's what and
my daughter's like i'm never going to cochella again because she's done like for the last i don't
know however many fucking years she's done at least 15 she's like i'm not going she's like the one
year i say i'm gonna stop fucking going they're gonna fucking tour and i'm like of course they are
it's the fucking universe testing yeah if i had drone right you know what i'm gonna tell her to do
that you're very fucking smart come on a bullet but she doesn't as long as somebody throws a beer
bottle at it right she said she just wants to go for the night that they show up but they don't
even know what day that they're showing up because um it's not they it just says and no doubt it doesn't
say what day so i'm like well you're fucked then i would just not go yeah don't risk it for the
biscuit like right shit dang i saw no doubt back in the day before they were like it was
famous glass house second street come on up oh my god i want to say the glass house is still there
is it it has to be there that's like the fucking landmark for p'mona besides the fair yeah
yeah that's where i saw bradley and guin they weren't even they weren't even nothing back then
yeah good good good times you know what's so funny uh well it's not funny um so my best friend dars
she's like five four years older than me so she would hang out with um i guess in high school she
hung out with um gwen's older sister yeah so she was like oh yeah gwen was never um athletically
like she is now like she was always i guess like fat and she wasn't taking care of herself so that's
why tony would make fun of her before they got together and then she started doing that yeah
i'm like and i'm like oh okay well you know this is darsie i believe her i get i start working in
urvine and there's one guy there that was born and raised in anaheim and he was talking about playing
video games back in the day he's like oh i played video games blah blah blah and then
gwen staphon's name come up he's like um we would go to or i guess she would come over i don't know
some they'd all be at somebody's house Gwen's she would he would play video games with Gwen staphon
you know what baroque madusa Gwen staphon was so cool back in the day playing video games and i
liked her when she was fat and before she started doing meth because that went once she started doing
meth and did started with no doubt she became a total fucking bitch i'm just like god damn okay well
you're the second person that's cooperated this i'm like clearly she did meth to get skinny and
then she fucking did her thing i could be wrong i don't know but two people have told me that so
what what do you want me to do and these two people do not know each other yeah well seems like
meth gives you superpowers i don't know i guess right that's charlie she yeah former meth head
oh i thought he was a coke he's clean now yeah i was just like for six years i can't believe that's
been like in the that hasn't been in the news well until i read it like well he's trying to get a full
custody of his kid or his twins or something oh you're probably right i don't know how well they are
now they can't be at least that's what yahoo said oh okay i'm like they have to be close to being an
adult or whatever so he's probably still paying out on child support then that's probably what it is
he's like shit he's like give this bitch a drug test and uh you know give me my kids and stop the
alimony and child support call it a day yeah microphone drop right
oh this game is horrid come on i know jeez it's gonna be worse with jaycee so it's true that uh
uh mr little calcy is uh retiring right that the not not the one for canza city but the other
the other brother i thought it oh oh wait me no it's the other brother the other brother is not
not the one for canza city the other brother whatever team he plays for he i want to say it's
the evil yeah the eagles yeah he's the one that's um retiring hmm i i'm pretty sure the other calcy
brother how long have they been in the fucking they've been playing for i actually i actually don't
know it wasn't even like a true fan of the player i i sometimes i'm not a fan of the team but i am a
fan of certain players on that of course yeah yeah or the other way around right but i i don't even know
know how long they've been i have to i will have to google it i need to see where they're from because
i know this is so bad to say i'm not judging the calcy brothers but they look like they both like
you know how like you would normally cut your toenails with a toenail clipper they look like
they would sit on a couch and they would take their big toe and bite the toenail off or bite you know
that's what they look like those type of people to me and i'm just like you guys are gross you
can't i'm sure they don't do that but right yeah they're making a million they can totally have that
because i touched that no thank you oh with making millions they're gonna have somebody or
they're just clipping their toenails really i would hope so and i i don't know i just have it in my
head that they both bite their toenails off instead of using a proper toenail clipper i use a file of
a ripped fingernail on the cement okay well that was back in the day you don't do that anymore oh no
i pay for it now there you go yeah are you looking at that i don't even know i was like
what happened i thought you were looking up how long they've been in there oh no i had to open
the door for fenway now she's not walking in here so i don't know what the fuck is going on fenway
you know i was watching uh ridiculousness with okay um i don't know if you've seen that show with
like rob dirdick and stuff no i have never i guess maybe it's on youtube or like parts of it because
i don't have um um mtv or whatever neither do i but sometimes my cable network or dish whatever
they will just say hey here's a free 30 days because they want you to subscribe to it or whatnot
right and so there's just a shit ton of um catfish episodes and oh i've never watched that either i
people talk about are they used to talk about that show all the time i've never seen that i i haven't
either until recently so what is it about it's oh shit it's like i've been living under a rock
because they're like 14 years in and like oh shit oh shit whoops sorry um didn't even know
but basically it's about um people talking to people online whether it be a dating app or just
facebook and your whatever it works you slide into dms and you just just talk and for years but for
some reason they don't know who this person is like for some reason they can't video chat they can't
i don't know but are they scamming them for money um sometimes sometimes okay sometimes
and sometimes it's just like what the fuck like what is going on is this even true does this really
happen it's i don't it's just a train wreck and the watching and the making i don't get it i mean
there's tons of red flags like oh well uh her camera broke or her phone broke or this and that
and it's like four years later you can't even do a video chat or a zoom call or so is it like a
reality show yeah like it is it is do they reveal who the person is yes oh they do yeah if they can
get that person to just kind of just come clean just who are you sometimes it's a little love story
but for the most part it's not really no it's just like i was uh i was
this time they say they're in a certain state and it's just so crazy because the way that this catfish
nev and max or i think it's nev and cammy right now or i don't i don't know because i don't oh so
it's a whole season of just two people it's it's two people that are going to investigate for you
you you email them and say hey i've been talking to this person and i just want to know like
what can you find out are they real no shit yeah and it's it's fucking crazy it's fucking crazy
wow i don't even i i would assume some of it must be for entertainment purposes but if it's not
damn that's all i gotta say that's all i gotta say is damn damn
well i'm gonna have to see if that's i don't know i don't have mtv i don't know if there
i'll i'll see if there's snippets or i guess like partial episodes i guess maybe on youtube i don't
know whatever it's just crazy i i need it i used to have my uh children watch to catch a predator
i don't know if you ever seen that oh i've watched that yeah yeah i'm like look at that see you
don't know who you're talking to but now i wish i could tell the kids hey look at this catfish
what yeah i was gonna say i was gonna say clickbait watch catfish watch catfish you don't know
trying to say that their camera broke
lies lies red flags dropped everywhere i don't know it's just it's just insane i don't know i feel
sometimes that i'm just a little bit i'm a little too old and i a little too stubborn
or it's like don't don't move me i'm comfy where i'm at the technology and the things that i know
i know how to email i know how to zoom right i know i know the basics of it i don't i don't
know all this flying into my dms and all this shit like no no no well you don't have social media
so you don't have to worry about that thank goodness and i hate when everyone's like i couldn't
find you online no bitch you couldn't but you know where you could find me at home why don't you just
give me a call catch me outside yeah just find me outside just find me at work just just you know
just give me a fucking holla call my fucking number i don't know you don't gotta find me online
i'm not posting what i'm eating i'm not posting on vacation i'm not posting nothing shit i don't
know and on that note i think we should wrap this up because we're coming up on an hour so
any parting words ma'am uh no i'm just gonna stay warm and i want everybody else yes everybody
else is warm but not me but i'm gonna stay warm thank you everybody for listening truly truly truly
love you all have a great week coming up that's right and i'm claiming bill's mafia today because
last week or whatever whatever um raiders and the chiefs play that's always our super bowl and
clearly we won our super bowl i think it was like three weeks ago boom boom all right guys we'll see
you next week peace out peace bye